Why wasn’ t he here yet? My best friend suggested
perhaps a new position—getting out of the tub so gravity could help bring
baby down. We went into the bathroom, I straddled the toilet facing the
wall. Things started to slow down—perhaps nature’ s way of letting me rest. My midwife said that she wanted to check my cervix to see where I was at. As I walked back to the bedroom, I dropped onto all fours in the hallway . Once I made it to the bedroom, all fours again, leaning against the bed. “Why isn’ t he coming?” I asked. It was just after 5 p.m. I had not slept in thirty-seven hours, had only eaten a few grapes since
the night before. How much longer? The midwife asked me to get on the
bed, just for a moment, so that she could check me. After a few more
waves, I finally made it onto the bed. “Oh,” she said. “His head is right here!”
The relief that washed over me was like a warm blanket on a cold night. He was coming. He was going to be here. I just couldn’ t believe it. There
was an end in sight. The midwives took their place and got everything set up to welcome
him into this world. My husband was right behind them, directly in my line
of vision. As our baby’ s head started pulsing out, then back in, then out, and back
in, my husband was sobbing, the words “thank you, thank you, thank you”
moving from his heart, and through his lips. She told me to tuck my chin into my chest and curl myself around my
baby with every contraction. My body was pushing him down and through. She suggested that my husband come sit behind me so that I could rest on
him in the space between. The ring of fire was real. I knew I had to move into a place of total
surrender , complete trust, to move through it. As a wave came, my body
would bear down just enough so that I wouldn’ t have to feel it. I told myselfthat the only way through, was through; and the only way he will come out
is if I let go of the resistance to feeling —if I let go of all fear . “When the next wave comes I will give my all,” I told myself. So I did. “Do you want to catch your baby?” the midwives asked, as my husband
took my hands and guided them down to our little babe. We pulled him to
my chest, relieved to hear his sweet little cry . So attentive. His world totally
changed. His crying slowed, as he peered at us through his dark blue eyes. Just
looking. You had never seen light before and had only known warmth. You had
not yet experienced the dualities of hunger and fullness, wet and dry , me
and you. It would still take some time to understand that you have your own
little body and are just now (at three months!) finding your own little hands. And my whole world changed in that moment too. Rather than moving
into a world of duality , like you were, I found myself moving from my
world of a million priorities into a world where there was only one. I had never known someone else’ s needs to be so much more important
than my own. Where your happiness, your safety , your comfort, your smile,
became my life’ s purpose. I had never known what it felt like to miss
someone while they slept. You suddenly became my everything. My dearest friend. My greatest
teacher . My little angel. My heart and soul. I showered and washed my hair . Your papa held you. The midwives
cleaned up and left. “Have you ever changed a diaper before?” I asked my husband as we
drifted to sleep. “No,” he laughed. “Neither have I.”THE BIRTH OF MY DAUGHTER
When I became pregnant with my little girl, I felt excited to start care with
the same home birth midwives who supported me in birthing my son. At the
same time, I felt mysteriously drawn to the idea of “free birthing” my baby
—giving birth at home with only my husband present. My plan was to
attend my monthly appointments with my midwives to develop a loving and
trusting relationship and then see how I felt as labor neared. As the months went on, I became internally clear that these midwives
were not meant to support me in birthing my little girl. There were a lot of
memories that arose around the birth of my son and a lot of healing that
needed to happen around the dynamics of his birth before giving birth to my
daughter . I felt anger toward my midwives around how the final stage of my
labor felt suddenly medicalized. One midwife had asked me to lay on my
back so she could check my dilation, as labor seemed to be slowing down. I
now understand that I was in the sacred moments of transition, right before
he was to come. I didn’ t want to lay on my back, as my body was asking to
be on hands and knees for every single contraction over the last eighteen
hours. I gave my power to her as the “authority” of my birth…because I
assumed she knew better than I did, as it was only my first birth. I also now
understand that there is no need to know how dilated a cervix is, as labor
unfolds outside of the realm of time: mama can be 2 centimeters dilated and
give birth within the hour , or she can be 10 centimeters dilated with hours
still before baby comes. Once I was on my back, she saw that baby’ s head was right there and
suggested I stay on my back as I pushed. So I pushed —har d (and hurt for
the next two weeks due to tearing). Everyone took their place just watching
me (which feels so weird and unnatural in retrospect)—the main midwife
with her sterile gloves on and all sorts of instruments laid out on a towel. She was in the place where my husband should have been as my son
crowned and was birthed into the world. The midwives spoke in the sacredmoments right after his birth and rubbed his body with a cotton blanket as I
held him. These things are not inherently “wrong” or “bad,” though in my second
pregnancy—as I began to understand the dynamics of an undisturbed birth
and really dropped into the space of knowing that my body was made  to
birth—I was able to see how the midwives’  presence at my first birth felt
unnatural to me and got in the way of my being able to trust my body and
my baby . I truly believe that a midwife or care provider ’s place in birth, if present
at all, should be to witness and hold the sacred space for mama to birth,
interfering only if mama asks or if actually needed. They should trust
mama’ s ability and recognize and honor mothers as the sole authority of
their bodies, their babies, and their birth processes. I feel that care providers
need to understand the subtleties, and thus the sacredness, of labor and the
moments following birth and not interfere in those moments unless
absolutely needed. I scheduled an anatomy scan during my second pregnancy to assure that
all of baby’ s organs were developing optimally . This is the only ultrasound I
opt in for while growing my baby . At that ultrasound, the doctors diagnosed
me with Mar ginal Cord Insertion, possibly Velamentous (VCI), which
would make it “extremely dangerous” to birth at home. My heart sunk. VCI
is when baby’ s umbilical cord inserts of f of the mar gins of the placenta, so
the exposed membranes not covered by Wharton’ s jelly could easily be
compressed during labor contractions—causing baby to suf focate and die. The weaker bond of the umbilical cord to the placenta could also cause the
cord to detach during labor , cutting baby of f from their supply of blood and
oxygen and causing mama to hemorrhage…and die. Wow. In the following months I got the opinions of two other doctors and they
both confirmed it was VCI. Both the doctors and my midwives af firmed
that the only safe place to birth my babe would be the hospital, where they
could monitor me throughout labor and assure that the umbilical cord (and
thus my baby) were fine and that the placenta came out with minimal
bleeding (likely with the help of pitocin).It was two weeks before my due date. My midwives told me they would
no longer attend my home birth. I was in the process of surrendering to and
preparing for a hospital birth. The safest option for some mothers to birth is
at a hospital; if it was truly the safest place for me to birth my baby , then it
was what I was going to do. But I just couldn’ t see it. I couldn’ t imagine
being in the most primal act of my life, getting into a car and driving to an
unfamiliar environment and being surrounded by people I didn’ t know and
love. I wrote and then rewrote a hospital birth plan, and I just couldn’ t believe
I was having to write all of these things to protect myself from other people
interfering with one of the most natural processes there is. I asked and then
re-asked what the consequences might be of denying procedures or leaving
before being dischar ged, if I could be in the birthing positions I wanted to
be in, if daddy was “allowed” to catch his baby . I couldn’ t believe that I was going to birth in a place where the staf f
weren’ t trained in the dynamics of real, natural birth and were instead
trained to interfere—where, when patients make decisions during labor and
delivery that diver ge from what some doctors or nurses feel is best, some
hospitals threaten to report the parent to child protective services or issue
court orders to coerce compliance
I couldn’ t believe that I wouldn’ t be able to go home to be with my
almost three-year -old son until a minimum of twenty-four hours after the
birth without signing a “Failure to Comply” agreement. I couldn’ t believe I was about to birth somewhere where it was actually
impossible to be the authority of my birth. And although in some cases it may be actually  medically necessary to
birth in the hospital (and in some cases it can be an ease-filled, beautiful,
and supportive experience)—I couldn’ t believe that my birth was one of
them. I more and more believed that there was nothing natural about even
an unmedicated hospital birth, as my body is wise and will only birth
naturally—as in, how nature intended —in the most natural of
environments. For me, that was in my home. (And, as I was to discover , itwas actually outside in nature, with my body on the earth beneath an oak
tree.) I prayed. Was a hospital birth the only safe option? A series of profound
synchronicities—coming one after the other—began giving me strength in
my intuitive knowing that my baby would be birthed at home. It started
with a doctor at the hospital giving me confidence that this birth would be
no dif ferent than other births. Directly after , I ran into a mama whose baby’ s
cord detached during birth and everything was totally fine. I spoke to a
handful of midwives who felt fully confident in a VCI home birth. I
connected with a midwife in Colorado (a woman my massage therapist
suggested I speak to) who worked at a hospital and had witnessed hundreds
of VCI births that were all normal births. This midwife told me, “Y our body
will know if and when you have to go to the hospital. As a culture, we have
lost touch with our body’ s knowing. Especially as a mother—you will
always know  what is best for your baby .” When I talked to one of my
dearest girlfriends later that week, we couldn’ t believe that—out of all the
midwives—that same midwife was the one who supported her during the
birth of her son. I felt that I was part of a tapestry being woven that would reveal, in
time, the already destined place that my baby would be born. In my desire
to do what was truly best for my little one, I was showing up and doing my
part. I surrendered, open to the signs (there are always  signs), and followed
my knowing . Home. I wanted a midwife there so that if I did become nervous during labor I
could lean on her wisdom and experience. I called every midwife within a
three-hour radius of my home. All of them were comfortable with a VCI
home birth—though with only a week before my due date, no one was
available to take me on as a client. It looked as though we were going to have the unassisted home birth
that I had envisioned since the beginning of this pregnancy . I started to
experience anxiety on the Tuesday before she was born. Anxiety is a rare
and unfamiliar experience for me. Was a romanticized desire to have a wildand natural birth at home getting in the way of me actually understanding
the severity of the situation? Would birthing at home be a decision that I
would forever regret, because perhaps my child wouldn’ t make it…or I
wouldn’ t? “You’ve got me, God? !” I cried. “Let me know that whatever  happens…
you’ve got me. That it is Your divine will. All of it.”
Three days before my due date I texted a midwife who came highly
recommended by trustworthy women in my community:
I was working with midwives who ar e no longer willing to do a home
birth because of VCI. If I go into labor tonight, our plan is fr ee birth—
though I would feel mor e grounded having an experienced midwife her e
who could monitor and hold space as needed, who knows variations of
normal, and who ultimately supports me in trusting the pr ocess of birth. I’ve hear d wonderful things r egarding the space that you hold. I would love
to connect about the potential of you coming to our birth. If you go into labor tonight or overnight, call me,  she responded. I’ll be
there. I fell to my knees in gratitude. Even now , writing this, tears roll down
my cheeks. I had never met or even spoken to her on the phone. She didn’ t
ask for my insurance policy or how I would pay . She simply said, “I’ll be
there,” in devotion to mother and the sacred process of birth. She came over the next day—and I felt such profound shelter . A wise
woman, a sister , a friend who was fully aligned with the sacred and
empowering vision of birth that I held. All was right. All was okay . I trusted that in a deep, deep way now . I was ready to birth my baby . August 8 was my mother ’s birthday , and a day beyond my expected “due
date.” I started to feel more heavy and tired and suspected that baby was
coming soon. Braxton-Hicks contractions seemed to be getting stronger ,and that evening, as we were having a dinner party for my mama, they
seemed to come more often. I went to sleep that night though was awakened every ten minutes or so
by stronger and stronger waves lasting for just under a minute—never too
strong to get me out of bed but always strong enough to wake me up. When
I got out of bed in the morning I was pretty sure I was in early labor , though
I knew it could still be days before she came, as some labors come and go. I
did an abhyanga and basti as my little boy and husband had breakfast. At
around 8:00 a.m. I called my mom to let her know that I thought today was
the day and asked her to come over to be with my son so I could be
absorbed in my process. I took an outdoor herbal bath as they drew with
chalk on the back porch. It was a beautiful morning. My husband made kanji and I sat on the couch to eat. At around 10:00
a.m. the waves were getting strong enough that I had to focus on them
entirely when they came. They were spaced about seven to eight minutes
apart, each lasting more than a minute. I told my mom that it was time to
take my little boy out and about so that I could be at home with just my
husband. My husband prepared the beds and birthing tub, bathed, and did
puja (the act of worship) in front of our altar . By 1 1:30 a.m., the intensity of each wave was becoming stronger and
stronger . I assumed I was still at the beginning of a long labor—considering
my first experience of labor—and couldn’ t believe how painful these
contractions were. With my son’ s birth, it was long and intense, but I
wouldn’ t ever describe it as painful. With this one, I couldn’ t find any
position that would lessen the pain. I wanted my husband’ s full presence
now, and I wanted him to be touching me. I think I needed the warmth. At around noon, the contractions were less than five minutes apart and
lasting for over a minute—active labor . “Help!” I cried, to my husband or to God, to whoever might hear me. “Help!” I tried hands and knees leaning against our bed; I went onto the
toilet. A wave would come and bring me onto my tippy toes, holding on to
the counter , and then down to all fours. I crawled into my son’ s playroom. This is too intense. Something needs to change,  I thought. Betweencontractions, which were now just minutes apart, I walked around the house
looking for somewhere or something else that might support me. I opened
our back door and went outside. I dropped onto all fours beneath our
kumquat tree. The earth felt like a sanctuary beneath me, the sun’ s warmth
like a soothing balm on my back. “I want to be near our fire pit,” I told my husband as I got up between
waves and walked there. I knew I wouldn’ t have long before the next wave
came. My husband went inside to get blankets and pillows and our oil
diffuser with cardamom essential oil. I told him I wanted to sleep, and I laid
down beneath the oak tree and actually fell asleep—the sacred space of
transition—until another wave brought me to my hands and knees. It was
just after 1:00 p.m. These contractions felt dif ferent, though. They felt
bearable. And suddenly my vulva was opening. It literally felt like I was
blossoming, like a rose unfurling. “Baby’ s coming,” I said to my husband. He texted our midwife who
said she would be there in ten minutes. He put the phone away and told me,
“I’m fully here with you.” I instinctively started breathing fast through my
mouth with each wave to slow down the force of baby’ s head moving
through me. She would pulse out, then back in after each contraction. I was
in no rush. My body was opening in the most beautiful way . It was truly
unbelievable. Her head came out, facing the sky . Her eyes were closed and her face
was blue. She was completely silent. We suddenly heard a voice behind my
husband: “Good,” was all she said. I turned around and smiled. Our birth-
guardian arrived at the perfect moment—and simply watched. She knew we
didn’ t need her , and she held the most profound and sacred space for us to
feel fully confident in bringing our baby earthside. With the next
contraction, baby slipped out. Daddy passed her to me between my legs. I
leaned against our picnic table with her on my belly , in total awe. “She’ s a little girl,” daddy said. My little girl. She’ s her e.
My placenta plopped out ef fortlessly after some minutes. My midwife
confirmed that it was a perfectly fine placenta (no VCI! ).We stayed outside beneath the oak tree for two or three hours. The
midwife never touched my baby . My baby never left my arms. She asked if
I wanted to do the standard procedures like APGAR testing, weight and
length measuring, and so on. I asked, “Do I have to?” I didn’ t feel ready to
put her down. She said, “It’ s your baby . You don’ t have to do anything.” An
angel. “No need, then,” I said. She left. I bathed. My husband went to pick up our little boy who was
sleeping in his arms when they got home. Everything was perfect. So
peaceful. Beyond what I could have envisioned for the birth of my dreams. JATA KARMA: BIRTH CEREMONY
Jata karma  is the traditional Vedic ceremony performed immediately upon
the birth of your little one, before giving milk or cutting the umbilical cord. The ceremony is done right in the birthing room and is said to give
intelligence to the child. The father of the child says prayers to honor his gurus (teachers), while
a young girl in the family , or another pregnant mama, grinds rice and barley
into a powder with an unused stone and a washed stone slab. [*1] The father
then takes the powder between the thumb and ring finger of his right hand
as he recites a prayer for God to receive and bless the grains. He mixes the
powder with ghee on a golden spoon, and then places it on the tongue of his
newborn baby , saying the following prayer in Sanskrit: “May the Divine
God and Goddess bestow intelligence to you. Not only worldly intelligence,
but also the greatest intelligence for understanding God.” Once the prayers
are completed, the father cuts the umbilical cord and the baby can nurse at
the breast. The father bathes himself, and the ceremony is completed. SKIP N OTES
* The rice and barley are said to give sustenance, and the ghee is used to deliver
beauty , memory , intellect, talent, luster , and long life.OceanofPDF .come Sacred Window 6 
After birth, ther e’s a sacr ed window of time. A time for complete
rejuvenation of a woman’ s physical, mental, and spiritual health. A time for deep, extended bonding with her newborn. The first forty-
two days after birth set the stage for her next forty-two years. —Ysha Oakes, postpartum Ayurvedic doula, founder of the
Sacred Window School
The postpartum window is a unique period of transition in a woman’ s
life. In just a few weeks, as she r ecovers her str ength and learns to
mother her new baby , a woman’ s body and mind under go changes of
unparalleled intensity . She enters a rite of passage which literally changes who she is, and
learns many things about life and herself in the pr ocess. She also
begins a r elationship with her newborn which will be a template for
the baby’ s trusting r elationships with other human beings, in a bond
which will last their lifetimes. —Jenny Allison, Golden Month: Caring for the World’ s Mothers
after Childbirth
Many cultures have traditional practices surrounding the first six weeks
following birth. The traditions tend to have similarities that include a period
of rest and care for the new mama; warmth; easy-to-digest, oily , and simple
foods; a time away from those outside the immediate family; and the
assurance of a peaceful and controlled environment. The weeks after a baby
is born represent a “sacred window”—a time to rekindle the digestive fire,
balance and stabilize vata, and rewire your entire system for a lifetime of
love and service. Witness yourself becoming more replenished, healed,
nourished, and whole than you ever were before.For these first few weeks, babies do not yet know themselves as
separate. They feel everything, and their sense of self is built on their
surroundings. You want to create the most safe, nurturing, and predictable
environment for your babe so that they know this world as safe and,
although unpredictable, fundamentally good. After forty-two days, your
baby will have learned what love means and will now be ready to learn
about the busy , bright world outside. Your body was the baby’ s body for so long, and they still depend on it
for regulating their temperature, their heart rate, their emotions, and their
breath. If you are nourished, your baby’ s body , heart, and mind will respond
accordingly . The calmer and more relaxed you are, the calmer and more
relaxed your baby will feel. Through the Ayurvedic postpartum practices
described in this chapter , you can bring more ease and comfort to your little
one; avoid postpartum depression, depletion, and overwhelm; avoid low
milk supply; preclude the chance of your baby being gassy or suf fering
from colic; and more. The sacred postpartum window is also time where you can honor your
shift from maiden to mother , or mother of one to a mother of two (and so
on), without distracting yourself with the busyness of everyday life. Birth
changes you. In the words of Osho, “The moment a child is born, the
mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the
mother , never . A mother is something absolutely new .” During the sacred
window you are able to slow down enough to notice what is dif ferent and
how you’ve been changed. It is a time to discover (as well as re-create) who
you are, now . Big transitions in life—whether it’ s your child’ s birth, a big
move, a loved one’ s death, or something else—need time to integrate. Change can be uncomfortable, so often after a huge life shift we just want
things quickly to feel “normal” again—hence the rush of many new mamas
to enter back into the world. Ayurveda ur ges you to slow down and to allow
the changes in your life to change you; it asks you to honor and
acknowledge the ways you are changed and to allow yourself the space to
come into this new version of yourself in a conscious and natural way .Special things happen during this sacred window . Deep healing, deep
grieving, deep connection, deep integration, and a deep inner stillness all
allow for a deep rewiring of the psyche. I became a mother in that window ,
redefined and ready to enter into the world in my new role—like a butterfly
out of her cocoon. I was told
that as soon as little babe came out
I would feel the deepest,
most explosive love that
I’d ever experienced. My experience was different though. I loved this little person already ,
though it was not a feeling that felt “new” or so different
than any other love I had experienced before. And then I came back to the teaching
that love is not a feeling. Yes,
it is something you feel. Though the feeling is never the foundation of love. The feeling is not where it is born
or how it grows. Because feelings change,
and real love
is everlasting
and ever expanding,
when the foundation is established properly . The feeling
is the fruit
of the expression of love. What is different about this experience of love
is that I would do anything for this little boy .I would stay up all night
and bounce him for hours
and check to make sure he is breathing
a zillion times each day . I would go out of my way
and beyond my own needs or comfort
to make sure this little person feels safe. Real love
is experienced,
is felt,
is grown
through service. Through showing up
even when it is challenging,
And seeing how the heart expands. POSTPARTUM FOCUS
Mothers who have just given birth are reborn with their babies. According
to Ayurveda, mama is basically as fragile as her baby . In the traditional way ,
mama is meant to have her mother there, holding her and supporting her
throughout this transition. She is meant to be mothered herself, and when
she has that type of care, she is able to bond deeply with her baby , as well
as heal and rejuvenate in a deep way . The Ayurvedic postpartum doula
Sarva Blackwell says that a mama’ s greatest need during the sacred window
is to herself “be mothered with the type of mothering that is a true
expression of unconditional love, where she is completely held, completely
safe at the deepest levels, and completely nourished with exactly what she
needs for her deepest healing.” But our society has become quite
disconnected from an understanding of this need. Even if you do have your
mother there to care for you, it is likely that she never received the type ofcare that she needed postpartum in order to pass the wisdom on to you—so
she may not actually know how to show up and support you. During pregnancy , there is a feeling of fullness. Quite literally , your
body is completely filled! Then, through the process of labor , apana vata
works hard to move your baby downward. Once your baby is in your arms,
you are left with a lot of newly empty space inside. Wherever there is space,
air will move into it, making the postpartum body the perfect home for vata
dosha. Vata is also superabundant postpartum because mama has lost a great
deal of fluid during birth, and she continues to lose fluids through the
dischar ge of lochia (the blood, mucus, and uterine tissue shed from the
womb after childbirth) and through breastfeeding. She is going through
many changes in all aspects of her life, including a redefinition of who she
is, her relationship, her purpose, and her role in the world. As explored in chapter 1, an increase in vata dosha comes with dryness,
coldness, loneliness, anxiety , fear , restlessness, fatigue, insomnia,
constipation, isolation—all the symptoms of “postpartum depression” and
the most common postpartum symptoms we hear about. Nature would not
have designed the life cycle in a way that would see a mother go through
the deepest and most transformative experience of her life only to feel
depleted, disconnected, and unwell. Though because as a culture we have
become so separated from Mother Nature, this letdown is what many
mothers end up experiencing. If, however , you are nurtured in the ways that nature intended for you to
be after giving birth to your little babe, you will heal and thrive in ways you
never knew possible. After childbirth, your body is more open than it will
ever be. Because of this, ancient traditions suggest that you can heal deep-
rooted illnesses—even from childhood—through proper care. If you
nourish yourself, focusing on pacifying vata for the first forty-two days
after birth, the postpartum window can be the most rejuvenating time of
your entire life. Your or gans and tissues have to go back into position
anyway , your relationship will continue anyway , your life keeps moving
forward anyway . So rather than just leaving it all up to chance and hopingthat everything works out well, Ayurveda encourages us to hold the
intentional, nurturing, loving, warm, and caring space for life to come back
together in the most optimal way . To balance an excess of vata, the focus of
these first forty-two days will be oiliness, warmth, rest, support, and
stability . I wrote this poem after the birth of my second child, during my sacred
window:
I can’t tell you how many hours I’ve spent looking at pictures
and watching videos of my older boy these last days. Ooh my heart
The Sacred W indow . Gosh, it’ s deep. It’s a time of becoming, a time of celebrating
…though I’m also realizing what a time of grieving it is. Grieving what no longer is. What had to die for this new life to be born. Grieving the life that I’ve left behind
and what will never ever be again
…because such is time. It changes everything. Celebrating this new life. Honoring her with every ounce of my being,
as my heart aches to be with my little boy . Lying in bed as often as I can to allow my body its much
needed rest,
as my heart yearns to play with him. Staying home for too many days,when all I want to do is hop in the car with my little man and
head out on an adventure. Just the two of us. Wanting to turn back time,
or fast forward till it all feels normal,
though knowing that this is the sacred window . It’s a time to feel. A time to honor . A time to grieve. A time to understand and integrate and be in  the discomfort of
change,
rather than rush through it or distract myself from it. Because then it’ll pass,
like everything does. My heart feels totally split in two. and of course there are magical days or magical moments
where it all feels so right,
though there are also these moments where my heart really ,
really hurts. Ooh, the sacred window . A time to honor
Life,
Death,
and the space in between.POSTPARTUM ESSENTIALS
CHECKLIST
The following list collects suggestions for supportive items to have on hand
during the postpartum window:
Thermoses to keep your hot tea warm at your bedside to drink
throughout the day
Hot water bottles or heating pads for warming the belly , lower back,
and feet
Long cotton cloth for belly wrapping
Peri bottles in each bathroom
Electric water kettle for making tea throughout the day
Pressure cooker for easy , yet nourishing home-cooked meals
Homeopathic arnica tablets for aches and pains
Your go-to, comfy , all-day , nursing pajamas
Breakfast-in-bed fold-up tray
Rescue Remedy Bach Flower Essence to take every few hours to
ease stress
Herbs, ghees, and oils such as those mentioned in “Sacred Window
Basics” ( this page ), “Postpartum Herbal Supports” ( this page ), and
“Beneficial Herbs and Essential Oils” ( this page )
SACRED WINDOW BASICS
Ayurveda identifies four pillars of postpartum care as essential for the
healing of the mama, an ease-filled transition for the baby , and well-rounded integration of such a profound life change:
PILLAR OF REST
New mamas need forty-two days of rest after the birth of their babe to heal,
integrate, and become. Stay reclined or horizontal for the majority of the day , especially
for the first ten days. Then, gradually add gentle movements
such as walking around the house (with socks or slippers, even
in the summer months!) or a bit of light stretching. First and
foremost, mama has to be able to relax. When the body is
relaxed, healing happens naturally . Ideally , mama stays in the house (or not farther than the
backyard) for the full sacred window , forty-two days postpartum
—without traveling to less-predictable environments or driving in
the car , which will both be overstimulating. When provided with
the right environment and the proper nourishment, the body
knows how to heal. After giving birth, the less activity for the first
forty-two days, the better , to help bring vata back into a state of
balance. Baby should be close to mama at all times, ideally with skin-to-
skin connection. The environment should be warm, cozy , predictable, and low lit,
with low stimulation, no drafts, and pleasing to be in. Invite as
much beauty  as possible. Limit guests. The people in the environment create the energy in
the environment. In general, limit guests to only close friends
and family members for the first forty-two days, and visits to only
fifteen minutes at a time. This assures mama won’t be depleted
by too much interaction, and that conversational topics do not
stray from the important and sacred experience that mama is
currently in. Everyone who comes to visit mama should come inthe mood to support her , rather than to be hosted as a guest. Rather than coming just to see the baby , they should ask mama
what she actually needs. Oftentimes mama wants to be as close
to her babe as possible (rather than to pass her little one
around), though she might appreciate someone playing with her
older child or helping with laundry , dishes, meals, and so on. Or
perhaps what she needs is a shower—or to spend quality
moments with her older kid(s)—and for someone to hold her little
one during that time. PILLAR OF DIET
During the process of labor and birth, a mama’ s digestive fire goes
completely out. The postpartum diet focuses on gently rekindling this fire
with nourishing yet easy-to-digest foods and eating practices. Eat at regular times throughout the day , assuring that you are
sitting down, focused on eating, as peaceful as possible, and
chewing your food thoroughly . Having someone lovingly prepare
your meals and teas and bring them to your bedside at the
proper times is one of the most nourishing ways of being
“mothered” so that you can focus on mothering your little one. Have simple, easy-to-digest, warm, well-cooked, mushy foods
with digestive spices (such as cumin, coriander , fennel, ginger). Gradually increase the complexity of meals throughout the six
weeks to assure digestion stays balanced. Add a couple of tablespoons of ghee to every meal to support
digestion and elimination, pacify vata, and remove ama (toxins)
from the system. Stay hydrated! Achieve hydration during the postpartum window
through mineral-rich sources such as soups, stews, broths,
herbal infusions, and warming elixirs. Hydration is crucial for
encouraging regular bowel movements; drinking warm prunejuice as needed will also support elimination (best after lochia
discharge has slowed). Full details for a postpartum diet are provided in chapter 8. PILLAR OF HERBS
Among the many herbs that can be supportive to a postpartum mama, the
following are some Ayurvedic staples that you will want to have on hand
for daily consumption. Panchakola ghee. Panchakola ghee is infused with five spices
(pippali, pippali root, ginger , black pepper , and chitrak) that help
to increase agni (digestive fire) and decrease ama (toxins). It
should be mama’ s first food after delivery; then use 1–2
tablespoons of this ghee on each meal for the first ten days. Dashamula  tea. Dashamula is a combination of ten roots that
work together synergistically to pacify vata and ground, warm,
and nourish mama during her postpartum window . It is a tonic
that removes vata from the nervous system and womb, supports
digestion and elimination, reduces pain, and creates a calming
effect on the mind. Drink in the morning and evening (see recipe
on this page ). Milk tonic. Milk tonic (see recipe on this page ) soothes nerves,
encourages healthy digestion and elimination, and restores
strength and vitality; during the weeks postpartum it also helps
build a healthy milk supply . Drink each night before bed. Ginger tea, CCF tea (see recipe on this page ), and fenugreek
tea. Drink these teas throughout the day for digestion and
lactation support.PILLAR OF BODY CARE
Postpartum body care is focused on moving excess vata from the body by
deeply nourishing mama and providing her with warmth, oiliness, stability ,
and love. Some days it may feel overwhelming or impractical to include all
this into your postpartum care. Know that it is not “all or nothing.”
Sometimes if we can’ t do it all “perfectly” we may think, “What’ s the use
of doing any of it at all?” Of course it is best if you can do the following
each day , though know that any amount is beneficial. Be as steady and
consistent as possible for the full six weeks. Postpartum belly wrap. Traditionally , a postpartum belly wrap is
made with a long piece of cotton cloth, wrapped many times around
your entire torso and hips. This secure container supports your
organs in returning to their prepregnancy size and position, helping
you to heal faster and more completely . It also brings a feeling of
emotional and physical stability and support. You can make a wrap
yourself with a long piece of cotton cloth or you can purchase one
online. If you are making your own, choose a natural fiber such as
cotton or cotton muslin. Look for the softest, thinnest natural-fiber
fabric you can find. Choose fabrics that are not stretchy or only
slightly stretchy , about 1 foot wide by 24 feet long. Peri bottle after (and while!) using the bathroom. A peri bottle is a
plastic squirt bottle that can be used to clean the perineal area,
greatly reducing stinging during urination. You can use water or your
sitz-bath tea (recipe on this page ). Dilute the tea by one-half with
clean water and fill the bottle. Daily abhyanga (warm oil massage) followed by a shower or
bath. As noted in chapter 2, a basic of Ayurvedic body care is
abhyanga, or warm oil massage. In the postpartum period, rather
than doing the massage yourself, consider hiring an Ayurvedic
massage therapist or an Ayurvedic postpartum doula, if possible, forat least the first two to six weeks. Your friends, parents, or partner
can also learn how to do this, which can be a sweet bonding and
nourishing time for all of you. It is quite simple, actually! For
postpartum massage, use at least a cup of warm sesame oil—
optionally infused with any combination of brahmi, ashwaganda,
bala, and rose—and rub gently and lovingly onto your body with
repetitive strokes: long strokes on the long bones, circles around the
joints. Massage for thirty minutes to an hour to really absorb the oil,
keeping the oil on your body for thirty minutes to an hour afterward. Abhyanga is simultaneously cleansing and nourishing; it moves
stuck emotions or stagnated energy , boosts the immune system,
enhances digestion, soothes the nervous system, quiets the mind,
and helps the postpartum mama feel cared for , confident, and loved. Ideally , you’ll take a warm shower or bath afterward. Herbal baths at least four times per week. Many herbs can help
soothe tender perineal tissue, heal tears and episiotomies (yes, you
can take herbal baths if you have had stitches! ), reduce
inflammation, and even shrink hemorrhoids after a vaginal birth. Taking herbal baths at least four times a week can also soothe the
nervous system, give space for mama to process her birth
experience, lighten depression, calm anxiety , improve sleep, and
bring strength. Use any combination of plantain leaf, yarrow ,
calendula, lavender , sage, marshmallow root, and witch hazel to
create healing and rejuvenating baths (see “Guidelines for an Herbal
Bath” on this page ). An herbal bath can be taken as soon as an hour
after a vaginal birth as long as mama is healthy and there are no
signs of infection. If you do not have a tub at home, a sitz bath can
be used instead—though Ayurveda says full body immersion will
give you much deeper benefits. Hot pack. Place a hot pack on your belly and lower back for at least
thirty minutes daily . The warm quality helps to pacify the coolness of
vata. The hips and pelvis are also known to be the main site of vata.Applying warmth to these areas will support healing and help with
lower back pain or postpartum contractions, as well as help you feel
nourished, stable, and warm. Basti. Use a warm oil enema, or basti, for seven consecutive days,
starting after two weeks postpartum, to deeply nourish your pelvic
region and assure that vata dosha is stable. Use ¼ cup sesame oil
mixed with ¼ cup warm water . How to W rap the Belly the Ayurvedic W ay
Sarva Blackwell of Inner Sun & Moon School of Natural and Holistic
Therapeutics, which of fers an Ayurvedic doula training, provides the
following instructions for a postpartum belly wrap. Start with one end of the cloth at the side of one hip and wrap
diagonally up toward the opposite ribs. Bring the cloth straight across the back to the other side of the
ribcage and then cross in front, back toward the opposite hip from
where you started. Continue in this crossing pattern, occasionally
twisting a single twist at the sides of the body to give extra support
and to help the cloth angle diagonally more easily . Wrap from the hips up to the bra line. Experiment by wrapping until
you find a way of doing it that feels most comfortable and supportive
to you. The wrap should be simultaneously firm and gentle—you
should feel firmly supported but be able to breathe and move around
easily . Think of it as wrapping a sprained wrist with an ace bandage. You can wear the belly wrap as much as 24/7 during the six
weeks postpartum if you like. Consider wearing it ten or twelve hours
a day to start and see how it suits you. If you want to belly bind daily
for six weeks, you will want to have three to five cloths on hand. Youcan use a belly wrap if you have had a cesarean birth so long as it is
comfortable—you’re the one who needs to decide when you feel
ready . If you are worried or it feels uncomfortable for you, wait until
the stitches are starting to dissolve. It is especially beneficial to massage the belly with warm oil
before wrapping—it’ s so good for the skin after going through
pregnancy! Sesame oil herbalized with brahmi and rose is amazing
for healing up stretch marks and helping the skin recover its
elasticity . GATHER YOUR TRIBE
Ask for help! This was one of the hardest things for me to do once my
husband went back to work. I needed help with everything, but I didn’ t
want to burden my friends or my sister , since there was nothing I could do
to reciprocate. I would find time to eat, then have no time to do my dishes. I
would somehow get my laundry into the washer , and then be unable to put
it in the dryer or fold it. I would walk past piles of my folded clothes in the
living room but not have time to put them away . I would say thank you a
million times when someone would watch my baby when I showered, and
later realized it was because I felt so guilty burdening someone with my
responsibilities. I broke down one day in tears, feeling the huge burden I
had put on myself by my inability to ask for the support that I needed. My
friends and my sister were grateful, because they wanted to help, but just
did not know how to. Give yourself permission to need someone. Give yourself permission to
receive. And perhaps, before baby comes, let your friends know that it
might be hard for you to ask for help…but that you are really going to need
it. SIMPLE W AYS FOR OTHERS T O HELP
Doing laundry: washing, drying, folding, and putting awayHolding your baby while you bathe and eat
Playing with older siblings so that you can rest with baby
Holding baby so that you can give your full attention to older siblings
Grocery shopping or other miscellaneous errands
Washing dishes
Cooking
Tidying up your room
Bringing warm drinks and nourishing snacks to your bedside
The less you have to think about your own nourishment, the better . You will
need someone to “mother” you as you are learning to mother your little
babe. If you can hire a postpartum doula or if you have a friend or family
member who is willing and able to help during this time, embrace this
precious support. It’s hard to find the words. Or perhaps
it’s hard to find the time to capture them. Redefining myself;
my offering;
who I am now and how I show up
—because it’ s changed. I climbed the tallest mountain
and I made it to the other side
knowing
that things would never be the same. I have been changed. You have grown me. Though it is hard to find the words—or perhaps
hard to find the time
to capture them. For Those Around the Mama: Bring Beauty
Whatever is done with attention and intention has an aspect
of beauty infused into it. When something is made beautiful,
you can actually feel the heart that was poured in. During
the sacred window , mama is vastly more sensitive to the
subtleties. This makes her postpartum time the perfect
opportunity to invite more beauty , ritual, and ceremony into
her life, really honoring this profound rite of passage that she
is in, as she will be deeply , deeply moved by it. If you are going to be cooking for her anyway , please
know that the mood you cook in is being infused into the
meals and that she will feel it. Cook with love. If you’ll be bringing a meal to her bedside anyway , serve
it on a beautiful plate, perhaps garnished with edible flowers
—and her tea in a beautiful crystal goblet or at least her
favorite mug to enjoy . If you’ll be drawing a bath for her anyway , why not light
candles, add rose petals, and turn on soothing music? Infuse mama’ s space with as much beauty , and thus as
much intentional loving action, as possible. It does not
necessarily take more time, simply more love—and it will go
a long way in nourishing mama during this sacred window of
time.GUIDANCE FOR YOUR PARTNER
The following pages are written for you to share with your husband or
partner . They may be finding it dif ficult or confusing to understand the
entirety of your experience. The process of becoming a mama is a huge
internal shift! You are changing mentally , emotionally , physically , and
spiritually . Sharing this letter will help your partner understand your
experience, so that they can give you the support, love, and care that you
need. Dear Partner ,
Wow, we did it. W e made it thr ough pr egnancy and birth together , and we
now have our little angel in our arms! I have gone thr ough a lot and can
still use the same (if not mor e!) support that you have given me during
pregnancy and birth. You may not know , but all ar ound the world, cultur es have ancient
postpartum traditions that ar e passed down fr om generation to generation. Within these cultur es, mamas have healthy postpartum experiences and
enjoy the bliss of connecting with their new babe. In our cultur e, the
postpartum window is often the beginning of chr onic health issues for some
women. It can also be the beginning of marital issues and emotional
problems that can last well past the six weeks of healing. Ayurvedic postpartum car e is not in place to make me feel pamper ed or
spoiled; these practices ar e essential to my healing. Otherwise, the r esults
of my feeling unsupported or uncar ed for during this time can be
detrimental to my health for decades to come. The six-to-eight-week
window following pr egnancy and birth gives an opportunity for complete
rejuvenation of my body on the deepest levels; or , if not honor ed pr operly ,
for rapid aging, anxiety , worry , depr ession, digestive issues, fatigue, and
pain, among other things. Every tissue and system in my body is in a state
of transition for these six weeks. I must be deeply nourished in or der to
heal.Birth is a tr emendous, powerful act that does not go unnoticed in my
body . I might be feeling open, tender , and vulnerable. Please be sensitive to
this. The metabolic principle that governs all movement and change in the
body (including neural, cir culatory , elimination, r espiration, speech, and
childbirth) is heavily affected by pr egnancy , labor , and delivery (vata
dosha). And because vata dosha is so high in my body now , it pr ovides a
rare opportunity for change. Car e for me, as I am caring for your child, and
you will watch as I transition into a beautiful, nourished, and vibrant
mother . I am grateful for your support in this time, and always. Y our love and
care now will set me and our child up for a lifetime of good health. Y our
support, love, and car e are an invaluable part of this experience. Love,
This Newborn Mama
The Ayurvedic postpartum doula Ysha Oakes, founder of the Sacred
Window Studies School, was fond of reminding partners that this is an
important time for their relationship with the new mama: “Because her
heart is so open to service, her body has the guidance and opportunity , with
support, to restructure in the direction of maximum ability to love and
serve.” These are simple ways you can help:
The birth of a new baby is a huge transition for your family . Be in
the experience with your partner as you come into new rhythms
together . Try to take at least two weeks of f work if you can, not only to
support your partner in all the big and small ways but also to
create the space in your life to honor this new little person who
has come in. Greet visitors and remind them of the ethics of visiting a newborn
mama as well as the simple things like washing their hands
before visiting mama and baby .Oversee visits, making sure the visitor is being helpful and
respectful and doesn’t stay too long (mama may feel tired even
after someone visiting for 15 minutes). Be the host so that she
doesn’t have to be. Arrange for someone to keep up with household chores. If you
need to and are able to, hire someone during this time to keep
the house clean. It will be worth it to allow for the extra space to
create the rhythm of your new life as well as time for you and
mama to relax and get to know your new babe. Encourage mama to rest and to allow herself to be served. She
may be feeling guilty about needing so much help. Now is a
great time to voice your support to her , as well as to thank her for
how much she is showing up to care for your newborn. Keep the house warm and cozy . Bring her warm fuzzy socks or
blankets if she needs; fluf f her pillows so she is comfy in bed;
bring flowers to her bedside. Initiate the baby massage routine before bedtime. Use this time
to bond with your baby , and allow mama to take some space to
herself (or to be with your older children). A partner ’s support is said to be one of the most important
factors in successful breastfeeding. Be encouraging if she is
experiencing challenges. Bring her water or snacks while she is
nursing your baby . Breastfeeding gives health benefits for mama
and baby for years to come. Make sure mama always has drinks by her bedside and that she
is receiving enough nourishing foods throughout the day . Remember that mama and baby are sensitive to their
environment now . Opt for reading with a background of soft
relaxing music in the evening rather than TV or news. Spend time with your older children while mama and baby rest. Spend time with baby so mama can spend time with the older
one(s).THIS ONE’S FOR MY HUSBAND
There are so many ways that partners can help during the postpartum
window . I share the below note that I gave to my husband to of fer a window
into the more personal ways that a partner can support. I have a million r easons to be grateful for you, though her e I’ll name just a
few. Thank you for…
making sure my peri bottle was always filled with nourishing herbs to
help me heal
doing a gazillion loads of laundry during our postpartum weeks
cleaning and tidying the house every single day
making my herbal teas each morning before I wake up
cooking me Ayurvedic postpartum breakfasts and lunches for twenty-
eight days straight and for providing superfood baked goods each
evening
keeping me hydrated with water , electrolytes, and teas constantly by
our bedside
giving me an oil massage four days a week, and hiring my dear
friend to give massages the other three days cleaning and drawing
my bath every eve and lighting the candle every time (love is in the
details!) stocking the house with groceries and getting roses each time you
go out
…not to mention all the ways you show up for this little chub. Sometimes in relationships
we only love someonewhen they are acting the way we want them to act. Or we only care for them
when they’re giving us what we need to feel cared for . Often, our love is built on conditions,
that unless met,
constrict our heart’ s ability to deeply care
and to really love unconditionally . I am learning what it means to love,
because you are the easiest person to care for . Not that it is always easy
—but that there is never any hesitation
to show up and serve you. It is easy
to put your needs in front of mine
and to remember how to let myself be cared for
so that I can keep showing up for you. It’s easy
to give myself completely
without needing anything in return;
To love you when you are fussy
or tired
or in pain. It’s easy to love you all of the time,
and to show up and care for you no matter what. It’s easy ,
because it feels so natural. Because it is natural,
for our heart to love like that. #motherhood #aspiritualpathIt is so important for you and your partner to feel connected with each
other: to know that you are never in it alone, to feel supported, appreciated,
valued, and seen. But nurturing that deep connection in your “new” life is
not always so easy! Three things have been game changers for my partner
and I:
1.Being af fectionate with each other . At least one long, long hug
or some eveningtime cuddles with just the two of us is so sweet
and important. 2.Appreciating each other . We are a team! See what your partner
is doing—see the little things—and let them know how much
you appreciate them. Say “thank you” often. It keeps the love
flowing…it really , really does. 3.Checking in with each other daily . After babe sleeps, we have a
cookie and milk date on the couch. W e check in about how the
day went: where we can use more support, what can be done
differently , what was really hard, and what went really well. That is what it is, having a little babe:
we are serving together . We are no longer the center of our relationship. There is a higher principle
that we both agree upon
that we are showing up for
fully. Thirty-nine days with you,
and we’re slowly expanding our bubble just shy of our forty-
two-day sacred window . Papa goes back to New York City this Friday ,
so we’re testing the waters to see how you do out and about
—in a car seat, with more noise and more people, in a less
predictable environment.And I get to see how I mother out and about
—in a less predictable environment. Where it all seems so new and so different
and I forget what I know
and suddenly feel like it’ s day one again. This window has been so special. Developing your nervous system with a stable and steady
foundation. A nervous system that knows that the world is
fundamentally safe and a little hunny that knows that he is
fundamentally okay . Loved. Cared for . For a mama to build her confidence in this new role. To know that she is capable. And to heal her own stories,
her own nervous system,
so that she knows that she is fundamentally okay . Loved. Cared for . A window that has taught me how to turn inward
in search of my strength,
my healing,
my ability ,
my resilience
—when my habitual instinct would rather distract. The forty-two days reminds mamas to go within
—and we need that reminder . Especially now .LIGHT ON THE SACRED
WINDOW[*1]
At the time of conception, a woman of fers her body as a vessel to bring a
soul into this world. In complete surrender , she allows her body to be the
vehicle in which a new soul grows and flourishes. It is as if she gives up all
rights of ownership to her own body and fully of fers it up in service. Her
body may take on many challenges; even in the healthiest of pregnancies,
the body under goes dramatic change. At the time of labor and delivery the
mother must surrender all control and allow herself, as the vessel for
bringing new life into the world, to open. In those moments, she becomes a
gateway between the heavens and the earth. As this process unfolds,
whether it is her first or ninth child, she changes—and will be forever
changed. This transition is sacred. And to be sacred means it is to be honored. Healing is not something that has to be earned. Nurturing and
nourishment through childbearing is not a luxury , or to be seen as
pampering; it is an essential birthright of every woman. In our modern
world we have for gotten the art of sacred rituals. We have all but lost the
wisdom of our ancestors. We have adopted the habit of moving too quickly
past these moments of deep transformation in our lives, allowing them to
pass us by without so much as bowing our heads in reverence. Every culture around the world has specific traditions, rituals, and
recipes that are in place to honor the postpartum window . Many cultures
around the world mark this time as sacred. It is up to you to reclaim the
ancient traditions of your heritage and deeply honor the process of
conception, pregnancy , birth, and the weeks postpartum. Ayurveda is the science of life. It is not specific to one race, one culture,
or one country; it is ancient knowledge that applies to all beings on earth. In
addition to the Ayurvedic practices you have read in this book, I encourageyou to inquire within your own family and your own heritage, to learn the
traditional postpartum practices of your culture. So many cultures are rich
in wisdom surrounding the sacred window if you dig deep enough. If you
are not called to find ancient traditions to honor your sacred window , I
encourage you to create your own rituals and infuse them with deep
intention. In any form, choose your way to honor this time for your healing
and transition into motherhood. The Ayurvedic concept of postpartum practices may seem drastically
different from what is common in Western society . In North America
specifically , it is recognized even among medical professionals that there is
a lack of awareness surrounding postpartum care. Women are pressured to
return quickly to their pre-baby lifestyles and “get back on their feet,”
literally . When a woman is not properly supported and cared for
postpartum, it shows up as “postpartum blues,” depression, anxiety ,
overwhelm, fatigue, issues bonding with her baby , and other chronic health
issues. Naturally , when the mother suf fers, her baby also suf fers. Ayurveda refers to certain times of a woman’ s life as a kayakalpa  or
“body time.” These are special windows of time that of fer the opportunity
for complete restructuring of a woman’ s physiology . These times of fer
renewed ener gy, youthfulness, growth, and expansion, as if the aging
process has been reversed. The kayakalpas that occur in a woman’ s lifetime
are her first menstruation, commitment in marriage or to a lifetime partner ,
menopause, and of course, the sacred postpartum window . The sacred postpartum window is a kayakalpa of deep cleansing and
nourishing that heals mama on all levels. It is a time best spent surrounding
yourself in a sattvic environment and consuming sattvic sounds, tastes,
sights, textures, and smells—just as is recommended during pregnancy . This is important not only for your healing but also for the nervous system
of your newborn baby . According to Ayurveda, it is ideal that your baby stays within your auric
field—that is, the field of ener gy emanating from and surrounding mama’ s
body—for several weeks, never going too far from you. During this time
you can continue to act as the filter you’ve been for your baby for the pastforty weeks, nourishing them with an environment that teaches them the
qualities of goodness so that they can feel safe, supported, and peaceful in
the world. It’s not in an instant that you become a mother . It does not happen the moment you become pregnant, or the
moment you give birth. It happens over a collection of moments. It happens when you’re sitting in your bath after finding out you
are pregnant, and grieving over the loss of your youthful
body that is about to change in many (and some
unspeakable) ways. It happens as your consciousness shifts from “me” focused to
“we” focused. It happens in the bittersweet times of pregnancy when you want
to savor the moment but simultaneously want it to end. It happens as your baby grows and one day you realize you’ve
gotten to know their likes and dislikes, their temperament
and their sleep patterns, before you have even seen their
face. It happens during labor , when it’ s the hardest thing you have
ever done, but you find the strength to do it in the best way
you can manage, for the health of your baby . It happens the first time you see their face and their little fingers
and toes and you stare at each other with complete wonder
and curiosity . It happens in those first few days postpartum when you can
barely walk and your body is sore and exhausted but you
don’t even realize because your only concern is that your
baby is comfortable sleeping on your chest. It happens when they start to recognize your voice and stop
crying when they hear you close by .It happens over millions of tiny decisions that you make during
your day , knowing that every small decision impacts their
experience of life. It happens the moment you realize that this tiny little being
loves you more than anything in the whole world, because
you are their whole world and all that they know . It is still happening, every day , as my heart grows to love her
more and more with every noise she makes, every smile that
appears on her face, even every time she cries out. When a baby is born, a mother is born with them. And together
they grow in their new bodies, their new experiences, their
new world. So no,
You don’t just wake up one day as a mother . The seed of mothering is planted deep in your being. And it
sprouts,
And grows,
And blossoms,
And changes with the seasons. THE UNIVERSAL MOTHER
PRINCIPLES
When receiving care throughout your postpartum window , remembering
these principles and applying them to every aspect of your day will help
bring awareness and a deeply nourishing mood to support your healing. Some things to aim for:
Simplicity:  Simple things will feel nourishing. Place a fresh rose by
your bedside each day , drink warm water , change into cleanpajamas or even a comfy dress. Notice how these simple actions
nourish you deeply . Listening:  Listen to your body . Listen to your baby . Do you feel
overwhelmed and overstimulated? Take a step back. Rest. And listen
to what your body and your baby are telling you. Grounding:  Literally , stay grounded. Meaning, stay at home as
much as possible. Make your home as cozy as ever and nest, nest,
nest. Intuition:  It is easy to get overwhelmed with what you “should” do or
how others perceive you as a mama. Tune that out. Mama knows
best. Nonjudgment:  Avoid judging yourself at this time. You are learning
and growing so much. Flexibility:  Be flexible with yourself and your baby . This is your
permission to throw “timed feedings” and “timed naps” out the
window . The postpartum window is a time of adapting to frequent
change and getting to know your little one. What works for you and
your baby may look dif ferent from what works for someone else. Compassion:  Be compassionate with yourself. You are doing your
best. You are an amazing, competent, caring mother , and most
importantly , you are the perfect mama for your babe. It’ s true. As a new mother , you will spend every ounce of your ener gy and every
minute of your day caring for your newborn baby . This little soul is
depending on you for full support to maintain her life. She breathes because
she hears you breathe, her heart beats rhythmically because she feels your
heart beating. In order for you to be the best mother you can be, you must
allow yourself to receive mothering care from loved ones around you. If
you do not allow yourself to receive nurturing during this time, you may
feel that you have no nurturing to give. Therefore, it is essential for thehealth of your baby that you fill your cup first by allowing others to support
and care for you. PREPARING FOR THE POSTPARTUM WINDOW
“Preparing for postpartum” is not a phrase we commonly hear in our
society . We hear “preparing for labor ,” “preparing for birth,” and “preparing
for the baby”—but when, if ever , do we hear a pregnant woman say she is
preparing for postpartum? Most women in North America associate the word “postpartum” with
things like postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety , or sleep deprivation. Many women have no concept of what to expect during the postpartum
window due to the lack of education and conversation around it in our
culture—if that’ s you, it’ s okay! You’re not alone. We are here to help. Considering that the postpartum window is such a significant time in a
woman’ s life that it can have ef fects on her mental and physical health for
decades to come, it is an absolute necessity to properly prepare for it.
_OceanofPDF.com_Ayurveda_Mama_A_Complete_Guide_-_Dhyana_Masla.txt
Summarize the following text section accurately and concisely. Maintain specific details and numerical information, and use anti-repetition mechanisms:

        Why wasn’ t he here yet. My best friend suggested
perhaps a new position—getting out of the tub so gravity could help bring
baby down. We went into the bathroom, I straddled the toilet facing the
wall. Things started to slow down—perhaps nature’ s way of letting me rest. My midwife said that she wanted to check my cervix to see where I was at. As I walked back to the bedroom, I dropped onto all fours in the hallway. Once I made it to the bedroom, all fours again, leaning against the bed. “Why isn’ t he coming. ” I asked. It was just after 5 p. m. I had not slept in thirty-seven hours, had only eaten a few grapes since
the night before. How much longer. The midwife asked me to get on the
bed, just for a moment, so that she could check me. After a few more
waves, I finally made it onto the bed. “Oh,” she said. “His head is right here. ”
The relief that washed over me was like a warm blanket on a cold night. He was coming. He was going to be here. I just couldn’ t believe it. There
was an end in sight. The midwives took their place and got everything set up to welcome
him into this world. My husband was right behind them, directly in my line
of vision. As our baby’ s head started pulsing out, then back in, then out, and back
in, my husband was sobbing, the words “thank you, thank you, thank you”
moving from his heart, and through his lips. She told me to tuck my chin into my chest and curl myself around my
baby with every contraction. My body was pushing him down and through. She suggested that my husband come sit behind me so that I could rest on
him in the space between. The ring of fire was real. I knew I had to move into a place of total
surrender, complete trust, to move through it. As a wave came, my body
would bear down just enough so that I wouldn’ t have to feel it. I told myselfthat the only way through, was through; and the only way he will come out
is if I let go of the resistance to feeling —if I let go of all fear. “When the next wave comes I will give my all,” I told myself. So I did. “Do you want to catch your baby. ” the midwives asked, as my husband
took my hands and guided them down to our little babe. We pulled him to
my chest, relieved to hear his sweet little cry. So attentive. His world totally
changed. His crying slowed, as he peered at us through his dark blue eyes. Just
looking. You had never seen light before and had only known warmth. You had
not yet experienced the dualities of hunger and fullness, wet and dry, me
and you. It would still take some time to understand that you have your own
little body and are just now (at three months. ) finding your own little hands. And my whole world changed in that moment too. Rather than moving
into a world of duality, like you were, I found myself moving from my
world of a million priorities into a world where there was only one. I had never known someone else’ s needs to be so much more important
than my own. Where your happiness, your safety, your comfort, your smile,
became my life’ s purpose. I had never known what it felt like to miss
someone while they slept. You suddenly became my everything. My dearest friend. My greatest
teacher. My little angel. My heart and soul. I showered and washed my hair. Your papa held you. The midwives
cleaned up and left. “Have you ever changed a diaper before. ” I asked my husband as we
drifted to sleep. “No,” he laughed. “Neither have I. ”THE BIRTH OF MY DAUGHTER
When I became pregnant with my little girl, I felt excited to start care with
the same home birth midwives who supported me in birthing my son. At the
same time, I felt mysteriously drawn to the idea of “free birthing” my baby
—giving birth at home with only my husband present. My plan was to
attend my monthly appointments with my midwives to develop a loving and
trusting relationship and then see how I felt as labor neared. As the months went on, I became internally clear that these midwives
were not meant to support me in birthing my little girl. There were a lot of
memories that arose around the birth of my son and a lot of healing that
needed to happen around the dynamics of his birth before giving birth to my
daughter. I felt anger toward my midwives around how the final stage of my
labor felt suddenly medicalized. One midwife had asked me to lay on my
back so she could check my dilation, as labor seemed to be slowing down. I
now understand that I was in the sacred moments of transition, right before
he was to come. I didn’ t want to lay on my back, as my body was asking to
be on hands and knees for every single contraction over the last eighteen
hours. I gave my power to her as the “authority” of my birth…because I
assumed she knew better than I did, as it was only my first birth. I also now
understand that there is no need to know how dilated a cervix is, as labor
unfolds outside of the realm of time: mama can be 2 centimeters dilated and
give birth within the hour, or she can be 10 centimeters dilated with hours
still before baby comes. Once I was on my back, she saw that baby’ s head was right there and
suggested I stay on my back as I pushed. So I pushed —har d (and hurt for
the next two weeks due to tearing). Everyone took their place just watching
me (which feels so weird and unnatural in retrospect)—the main midwife
with her sterile gloves on and all sorts of instruments laid out on a towel. She was in the place where my husband should have been as my son
crowned and was birthed into the world. The midwives spoke in the sacredmoments right after his birth and rubbed his body with a cotton blanket as I
held him. These things are not inherently “wrong” or “bad,” though in my second
pregnancy—as I began to understand the dynamics of an undisturbed birth
and really dropped into the space of knowing that my body was made  to
birth—I was able to see how the midwives’  presence at my first birth felt
unnatural to me and got in the way of my being able to trust my body and
my baby. I truly believe that a midwife or care provider ’s place in birth, if present
at all, should be to witness and hold the sacred space for mama to birth,
interfering only if mama asks or if actually needed. They should trust
mama’ s ability and recognize and honor mothers as the sole authority of
their bodies, their babies, and their birth processes. I feel that care providers
need to understand the subtleties, and thus the sacredness, of labor and the
moments following birth and not interfere in those moments unless
absolutely needed. I scheduled an anatomy scan during my second pregnancy to assure that
all of baby’ s organs were developing optimally. This is the only ultrasound I
opt in for while growing my baby. At that ultrasound, the doctors diagnosed
me with Mar ginal Cord Insertion, possibly Velamentous (VCI), which
would make it “extremely dangerous” to birth at home. My heart sunk. VCI
is when baby’ s umbilical cord inserts of f of the mar gins of the placenta, so
the exposed membranes not covered by Wharton’ s jelly could easily be
compressed during labor contractions—causing baby to suf focate and die. The weaker bond of the umbilical cord to the placenta could also cause the
cord to detach during labor, cutting baby of f from their supply of blood and
oxygen and causing mama to hemorrhage…and die. Wow. In the following months I got the opinions of two other doctors and they
both confirmed it was VCI. Both the doctors and my midwives af firmed
that the only safe place to birth my babe would be the hospital, where they
could monitor me throughout labor and assure that the umbilical cord (and
thus my baby) were fine and that the placenta came out with minimal
bleeding (likely with the help of pitocin). It was two weeks before my due date. My midwives told me they would
no longer attend my home birth. I was in the process of surrendering to and
preparing for a hospital birth. The safest option for some mothers to birth is
at a hospital; if it was truly the safest place for me to birth my baby, then it
was what I was going to do. But I just couldn’ t see it. I couldn’ t imagine
being in the most primal act of my life, getting into a car and driving to an
unfamiliar environment and being surrounded by people I didn’ t know and
love. I wrote and then rewrote a hospital birth plan, and I just couldn’ t believe
I was having to write all of these things to protect myself from other people
interfering with one of the most natural processes there is. I asked and then
re-asked what the consequences might be of denying procedures or leaving
before being dischar ged, if I could be in the birthing positions I wanted to
be in, if daddy was “allowed” to catch his baby. I couldn’ t believe that I was going to birth in a place where the staf f
weren’ t trained in the dynamics of real, natural birth and were instead
trained to interfere—where, when patients make decisions during labor and
delivery that diver ge from what some doctors or nurses feel is best, some
hospitals threaten to report the parent to child protective services or issue
court orders to coerce compliance
I couldn’ t believe that I wouldn’ t be able to go home to be with my
almost three-year -old son until a minimum of twenty-four hours after the
birth without signing a “Failure to Comply” agreement. I couldn’ t believe I was about to birth somewhere where it was actually
impossible to be the authority of my birth. And although in some cases it may be actually  medically necessary to
birth in the hospital (and in some cases it can be an ease-filled, beautiful,
and supportive experience)—I couldn’ t believe that my birth was one of
them. I more and more believed that there was nothing natural about even
an unmedicated hospital birth, as my body is wise and will only birth
naturally—as in, how nature intended —in the most natural of
environments. For me, that was in my home. (And, as I was to discover, itwas actually outside in nature, with my body on the earth beneath an oak
tree. ) I prayed. Was a hospital birth the only safe option. A series of profound
synchronicities—coming one after the other—began giving me strength in
my intuitive knowing that my baby would be birthed at home. It started
with a doctor at the hospital giving me confidence that this birth would be
no dif ferent than other births. Directly after, I ran into a mama whose baby’ s
cord detached during birth and everything was totally fine. I spoke to a
handful of midwives who felt fully confident in a VCI home birth. I
connected with a midwife in Colorado (a woman my massage therapist
suggested I speak to) who worked at a hospital and had witnessed hundreds
of VCI births that were all normal births. This midwife told me, “Y our body
will know if and when you have to go to the hospital. As a culture, we have
lost touch with our body’ s knowing. Especially as a mother—you will
always know  what is best for your baby. ” When I talked to one of my
dearest girlfriends later that week, we couldn’ t believe that—out of all the
midwives—that same midwife was the one who supported her during the
birth of her son. I felt that I was part of a tapestry being woven that would reveal, in
time, the already destined place that my baby would be born. In my desire
to do what was truly best for my little one, I was showing up and doing my
part. I surrendered, open to the signs (there are always  signs), and followed
my knowing. Home. I wanted a midwife there so that if I did become nervous during labor I
could lean on her wisdom and experience. I called every midwife within a
three-hour radius of my home. All of them were comfortable with a VCI
home birth—though with only a week before my due date, no one was
available to take me on as a client. It looked as though we were going to have the unassisted home birth
that I had envisioned since the beginning of this pregnancy. I started to
experience anxiety on the Tuesday before she was born. Anxiety is a rare
and unfamiliar experience for me. Was a romanticized desire to have a wildand natural birth at home getting in the way of me actually understanding
the severity of the situation. Would birthing at home be a decision that I
would forever regret, because perhaps my child wouldn’ t make it…or I
wouldn’ t. “You’ve got me, God. ” I cried. “Let me know that whatever  happens…
you’ve got me. That it is Your divine will. All of it. ”
Three days before my due date I texted a midwife who came highly
recommended by trustworthy women in my community:
I was working with midwives who ar e no longer willing to do a home
birth because of VCI. If I go into labor tonight, our plan is fr ee birth—
though I would feel mor e grounded having an experienced midwife her e
who could monitor and hold space as needed, who knows variations of
normal, and who ultimately supports me in trusting the pr ocess of birth. I’ve hear d wonderful things r egarding the space that you hold. I would love
to connect about the potential of you coming to our birth. If you go into labor tonight or overnight, call me,  she responded. I’ll be
there. I fell to my knees in gratitude. Even now, writing this, tears roll down
my cheeks. I had never met or even spoken to her on the phone. She didn’ t
ask for my insurance policy or how I would pay. She simply said, “I’ll be
there,” in devotion to mother and the sacred process of birth. She came over the next day—and I felt such profound shelter. A wise
woman, a sister, a friend who was fully aligned with the sacred and
empowering vision of birth that I held. All was right. All was okay. I trusted that in a deep, deep way now. I was ready to birth my baby. August 8 was my mother ’s birthday, and a day beyond my expected “due
date. ” I started to feel more heavy and tired and suspected that baby was
coming soon. Braxton-Hicks contractions seemed to be getting stronger,and that evening, as we were having a dinner party for my mama, they
seemed to come more often. I went to sleep that night though was awakened every ten minutes or so
by stronger and stronger waves lasting for just under a minute—never too
strong to get me out of bed but always strong enough to wake me up. When
I got out of bed in the morning I was pretty sure I was in early labor, though
I knew it could still be days before she came, as some labors come and go. I
did an abhyanga and basti as my little boy and husband had breakfast. At
around 8:00 a.
He had to go back to work.
Why did the author's husband have to go back to New York City?
She wanted to have a home birth with only her husband present.
What was the author's initial plan for her second pregnancy?
She felt that the midwives' presence was unnatural and interfered with her ability to trust her body and the birth process.
What was the author's experience with the midwives during her first birth?
The 42-day period after childbirth, during which the mother is advised to rest, eat nourishing foods, and prioritize her own healing and well-being.
What is the "sacred window" referred to in the text?
She believes that care providers should not interfere unless necessary, and instead, create a supportive and nurturing environment for the mother.
What is the author's perspective on the role of care providers during childbirth?