Suppression,
repression, and projection are all destructive dynamics and result in a
progressive stress on and decline of our relationships. W e like to pretend that our innermost feelings are unknown to others,
but are they? W e are all connected to each other on the psychic, intuitive
level; so, our feelings are read and known by others. W e may not be
consciously aware of it, but their behavior toward us reveals that they know
our inner attitude and feelings toward them. For example, let’ s say that our external behavior on the job is
exemplary . Why is it, we ask, that the other person gets the promotion or
the recognition, and we do not? The answer is to look at our hidden inner
feelings about the boss and the job. Do we really think that he hasn’ t
registered our inner envy , criticalness, and resentment? It is a safe bet to
assume that others know our inner feelings and the thoughts that go with
those feelings. The kind of thoughts we are having about them is very likely
matched with similar thoughts they are having about us. If we realize this
principle, a lot of things that happen in our life will start to make sense. W e
can ask ourselves, “How would I react if I were the other person and knew
exactly what my personal inner feelings and thoughts really were?” The
answer to that will usually make clear what the other person’ s behavior is
all about. Perhaps we didn’ t get the promotion because, at the unspoken,
ener getic level, our boss knew that we were critical of him, resentful of our
colleagues, and clamoring for approval and recognition.Before searching ourselves for negative feelings, it is best to remember
that these feelings are not our real inner Self. They are learned programs we
have inherited from being humans. Nobody is exempt from them; everyone
from the highest to the lowest has or has had an ego. Even the few who are
enlightened had an ego at one time before it was finally transcended. This is
the human condition. T o be able to observe our feelings honestly requires a
nonjudgmental attitude. W e first have to be aware of what is really going on inside of us before
we can do anything about it. As we let go of a feeling, it is replaced by a
higher one. The only purpose for recognizing and admitting a feeling is so
that we can relinquish it. T o be surrendered means that we are willing to
relinquish a feeling by allowing ourselves just to experience it and not to
change it. Resistance is what keeps it there in the first place. W e may think that some of the negative emotions are necessary to us;
however , upon examination we will discover that this is an illusion. The
higher emotions are far more powerful and ef fective in bringing about the
fulfillment of our needs. Let’ s ask ourselves, for example, what would we be willing to do for
someone we really , truly love? W e will instantly see that it is almost
anything. There is almost no limit to which we will go for love. Now
contrast this with what we are willing to do for someone who has
intimidated us. W e will see that we grudgingly give as little as possible. While the intimidators may seem to get away with something temporarily
on the surface, they really have lost the whole thing, haven’ t they? Their
victory is superficial, temporary , and not even real—a victory in appearance
only . In the end, the world turns, and the intimidators sow their own
destruction. What we win by the negative emotion is short-lived and
inauthentic. It doesn’ t really satisfy . It’ s like a forced compliment. Real
happiness results from a win-win situation. The price of a win-lose situation
is hatred and low self-esteem. Underneath it all, we fool neither ourselves,
nor others. Others always know when we are out to exploit them. If we have dif ficulty in relinquishing a feeling, it helps merely to look
at the intent of that feeling. What is the purpose of it? What is the supposed
purposeful ef fect on the other person? What is their likely response? Do we
really want that? If this were the last day of our life, would that really be
what we wanted? W ell, this is  the last day of our life—our old life with allits conflicts, anxiety , and fear . That is the price we have paid for holding on
to the old. As we relinquish the negative suppressed feelings from all the
programs we have internalized, they are automatically replaced by the
higher ones. W e become happier and lighter and so do the people around us. Let’ s review what these higher feelings are and what ef fect they have on the
other person’ s feelings and behavior in response to us. Positive Feelings
The higher feelings of courage, willingness, confidence, capability , “can
do,” zest, humor , competence, self-suf ficiency , and creativity have an
emotional purpose: ef fective actions, operation, and accomplishment. The
reaction of other persons will reflect back to us cooperation, courage,
respect, and a willingness to be with us. Additionally , because we increase
their self-esteem, they seek our company . As we look at all of this, we see
that there is a wonderful payof f in return for our willingness to let go of the
negative feelings that stand in the way of these higher feelings, which
ef fortlessly accomplish our real goals and purpose. When we are operating on the level of acceptance, enjoyment, warmth,
gentleness, softness, trustingness, inner truth, and faith, the emotional
purposes to which the other person responds are those of love, enjoyment,
pleasure, harmony , peacefulness, understanding, and sharing. Their reaction
to us will be one of acceptance, satisfaction, feeling “in tune,” feeling
understood, and joy . They will automatically return our love. It is rather
obvious that these reciprocal feelings bring about success in whatever the
venture may be with the other person, whether it is vocational, social,
personal, or a simple everyday business interaction. Connectedness
When our inner feelings are of peacefulness, serenity , tranquility , stillness,
openness, and simplicity , the ef fect on other persons is to increase their
awareness along with our own, and to give them a greater sense of freedom,
perfection, unity , and at-oneness with ourselves. In their relationship with
us, they will feel joined; they will identify with us; they will understand at a
deep level; and they will feel in communion with us. As a consequence,
they will seek our presence, because in it they feel complete, recognized,
and contented. They will experience an increased awareness of their ownreal Self. They will feel higher in our presence or when they think of us. Their response back to us will be that of love and gratitude for the blessing
of our presence. In such a relationship, goals are automatically and
ef fortlessly accomplished. Because we are not holding negativity , there is
nothing we wish to hide from the other person, and this openness allows the
other person to drop all defenses. Nothing is hidden out of guilt or fear , and
there is a very conscious psychic connectedness. It is on this level that so-called telepathic phenomena occur with
regularity . When we are in total harmony with another person, there is no
desire on our part to withhold or guard any thoughts or feelings. Because
the other person responds similarly , there is an ef fortless knowing of what is
crossing the other person’ s mind and what their passing feeling states may
be. There is a total acceptance of our own humanness and that of the other . If we are really in tune with others, we for give them when we see a passing
jealousy or reactivity . W e realize it is only natural. And we know that they ,
in return, are aware of our passing resentment. Y et, they are overlooking it;
they accept our humanness, and they understand the situation. They know
us so well that they recognize the likelihood of a passing resentment in
certain situations, but they know , also, that we are going to let it go. The
people with whom we share a relationship of loving acceptance are okay
with our humanness and their own. No matter the surface emotions, we
remain aware of the shared alignment to love, acceptance, and harmony
with each other and the world. This level of communication actually can be reached with anyone. It
does not have to be someone with whom we are intimately associated. V ery
often we experience it first with our friends with whom there is less at stake
than intimate family members. Another situation where it often occurs in
the course of an average life is with an ex-lover . W ith this person to whom
we have revealed so much—now that there is no longer anything romantic
at stake—a friendship might develop in which it is no longer necessary to
hide anything. There can be truly open communication, honesty , and
integrity . W e see this not infrequently in couples that have separated or
divorced. Once the turmoil has settled down, they get along easily and may
even remain the best of friends for many years. Ef fect of Positive FeelingsIt is obvious that higher states of consciousness have a profound ef fect on
our relationships, because one of the laws of consciousness is like goes to
like. Our inner states are actually radiated to others. W e can positively af fect
others even when we are not physically with them. Feelings are ener gy and
all ener gy gives of f a vibration. W e are like sending and receiving stations. The less negativity we are holding, the more aware we can be of what
others are really holding about us. The more we love, the more we find
ourselves surrounded by love. The replacement of a negative feeling by a
higher one accounts for the many miracles one can experience in the course
of life. These become more frequent as one continues to surrender . As we surrender , life becomes more and more ef fortless. There is a
constant increase in happiness and pleasure, which requires less and less
from the outer world to be experienced. There is a diminution of needs and
expectations of others. W e stop looking “out there” for what we now
experience as coming from within ourselves. W e let go of the illusion that
others are the source of our happiness. Instead of looking to get from others,
we now look to give. Others now seek to be with us, instead of avoiding us. In Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Car ol , Scrooge experienced the pleasure
of giving instead of looking to get from others. The joy of that
transformation is available to us all. Carl Jung wrote of the phenomenon called “synchronicity ,” which
might also have been called “simultaneity ,” to explain the occurrence of
events that, to the intellect, appear unrelated. As we surrender more and
more, this type of experience becomes commonplace. An illustration of this
phenomenon is the following experience related by a business executive
who had been practicing the letting go technique for about a year . I was President of a small corporation with about fifty employees. W e had built up a promising young man to head one of the
divisions of the company . It turned out, however , that this man was
very immature. Instead of responding with gratitude and
cooperation for all that was done for him, he reacted by becoming
grandiose, demanding, and somewhat paranoid. He declared that
he was going to bar ge into the next Board of Directors meeting and
cause a big upset with his wild accusations and demands. Although
all of his accusations could have been easily refuted, the whole
af fair sounded like a dreadful experience to live through. For days,he appeared just plain hateful with his threats. The day of the
Board meeting, which was to be at 1 P .M. , I was driving along the
parkway thinking angry thoughts about him. Suddenly I let it all
go; I surrendered on him totally . I started to see the frightened
child in him, and I started to send him love. All of my anxiety
disappeared, and I felt a sympathetic love for him. I looked at my
watch and it was 12:30 P .M. When I got to the of fice, my secretary
said that this man had walked into the of fice and stated that he was
calling of f the whole thing; he had changed his mind at the last
minute. I asked her what time he had walked into the of fice. She
said she had made particular note of the time, as the Board meeting
was soon to take place. She looked at her watch when he had made
his announcement about his change of heart. The time was exactly
12:32 P .M. Letting Go of Expectations
When we put pressure on other people in order to get what we want, they
automatically resist, because we are trying to pressure them. The harder we
push, the harder they resist. Even though, out of fear , they may actually
concede to our demands, there is not an inner acceptance and, later on, we
will lose what we have gained. This resistance is in all of us. W e can be
aware of it as it operates unconsciously , and we evade that awareness by
making excuses and plausible explanations. As mentioned in an earlier chapter , in his book, W inning Thr ough
Intimidation , Robert Ringer called it the “boy/girl theory .” (Boy meets girl. As soon as she realizes he wants her , she becomes hard to get. So then if
boy decides to withdraw , she now wants him, and he in return acts aloof.) When we refer to this phenomenon to explain sales resistance, one way
around it is to take the view that our responsibility is to make an ef fort, but
not try to determine the result. Another way is to surrender the feelings we
have about what we want from the other person, and let go of the pressures
we are putting on them in the form of expectation and desire. They , then,
have the psychic space to become agreeable or even to initiate the desired
result on their own, the result we had wished for in the first place. An example of this dynamic is a man who was working with the letting
go technique in the midst of a divorce. He and his wife got into a heated
ar gument over something he wanted. She just kept saying “No” to hisrequest. So in the middle of it, he surrendered on the object that he wanted. It was now okay with him if she didn’ t give it to him, and it was okay if she
did. The instant he let go of it in his mind, she suddenly turned to him and
of fered, not only to give it to him, but to have it packed and shipped as well. This illustrates a very simple but decidedly elegant and active way of
clarifying relationships. First, look at how you are secretly feeling about a
person in a given situation. Presume that the other person is aware of those
thoughts and feelings. Then, put yourself in their place and see how you
would react. Y ou will see that their behavior is probably just what you
would have done in their place. The goal is to let go of all those feelings
until you can go up to a positive thinking-feeling space about the matter . Once in a positive space, now see how you would react as the other person
who was aware of these new feelings. The likelihood is that their behavior
will change just as you would expect. There may be a time delay; but, if
you keep watching, the change will likely take place. Even if it doesn’ t, you
will no longer be upset about the situation. Sometimes the “payof f” refuses
to show up, but we can say , “This is one that the universe owed me in due
time.” In fact, it is a part of greatness to know that sometimes a good deed
is not returned. The influence that our thoughts and feelings have is, in the world’ s
literature, called “the law of karma,” or “Y ou get what you give,” or “Y ou
reap what you sow .” Often we don’ t see this law in operation because of the
time delay . For instance, an acquaintance borrowed $200 and then failed to
pay it back as promised. For over a year , there was a resentment and
consequent avoidance of the person because of the emotional discomfort,
which was compounded by the guilt at holding the resentment in the first
place. Finally , when it became apparent that the only person suf fering from
the resentment was the person holding it, and that it was costing peace of
mind, the willingness to let it go emer ged. At that point, the resentment was
fairly easy to let go and the borrower was for given. The $200 was re-
contextualized as a loan to someone who had been in need. W ithin a few
months, there was an unexpected encounter with the person, who said out
of the blue, “I have been concerned about the money I owe you. Here’ s the
whole $200.” The loan was repaid without even asking for it. W e block receiving what we want from others by our expectations or
resentments of them. It is very ef fective to surrender our expectations of
others before we enter into a particular situation with them. Emotions arereally subtle attempts to force others and impose our will on them, which
they unconsciously resist. The way to facilitate satisfaction in relationships is lovingly to picture
the best possible outcome. Make sure it is mutually beneficial: a win-win
situation. Let go of all the negative feelings and merely hold the picture in
mind. W e can tell if we are really surrendered when we feel okay either
way; it’ s okay with us if it happens, and it’ s okay with us if it doesn’ t.
Therefore, to be surrendered does not mean to be passive. It is being active
in a positive way . When we are surrendered, there is no longer the pressure of time. Frustration comes from wanting a thing now instead of letting it happen
naturally in its own time. Patience is an automatic side ef fect of letting go,
and we know how easy it is to get along with patient people. Notice that
patient people usually get what they want in the end. One resistance to letting go is the illusion that, if we let go of our
wantingness and our expectations, we won’ t get what we want. W e fear that
we will lose it if we don’ t keep pressuring for it. The mind has the idea that
the way to get a thing is to want it. Actually , if we examine the issue, we
will see that events are due to decisions, and choices are based on our
intentions. What we get is the result of these choices, even though they are
unconscious, rather than what we think we want. When we surrender the
pressure of wantingness, we are clear to make wiser choices and decisions. W e think that our happiness depends on controlling events, and that
facts are what upset us. Actually , it is our feelings and thoughts about these
facts that are the real cause of our upset. Facts in and of themselves are
neutral things. The power we give them is due to our attitude of acceptance
or non-acceptance and our overall feeling state. If we get stuck in a feeling,
it is because we still secretly believe that it will accomplish something for
us. Sexual Relations
Because of the wide availability of sexual material and opportunities for
varied sexual experiences, most people nowadays consider themselves
rather sexually liberated. This liberation is primarily intellectual and
behavioral; there still exists a great deal of emotional and experiential
limitation, as well as sensory restriction. All experience takes place withinconsciousness itself; therefore, sexual experience, like any other , is
determined by our overall level of awareness and inner freedom. The degree to which our sexual experience has been restricted becomes
apparent the more we relinquish our feelings about it. When we are totally
surrendered on sexuality , it is like adding a third dimension to what was
before a two-dimensional experience. As one woman put it, “It’ s like I used
to hear only violins, then a cello was added, and then a flute, and so on, so
that now the experience is totally full and comprehensive.”
Besides the increased emotional pleasure of freedom of expression,
letting go brings a change in the sensory experience itself. T o most people,
men especially , sexual excitation and or gasmic pleasure are primarily a
genital sensation. As one gets freer , the locale of the or gasm begins to
expand and spread to the whole pelvis and abdomen, the legs and arms, and
eventually the whole body . Often, after this accomplishment, there is a
plateau that follows, and then suddenly and unexpectedly the or gasmic
location expands beyond the body , as though the space around the body was
having the or gasm instead of the person. Ultimately , there is no limitation of
the or gasm. It seems to expand into infinity and be experienced from no
particular center or locale. It is as if there is no individual person present. The or gasm is experiencing itself. This expansion is facilitated by becoming aware that the facial
grimacing and breath-holding are restrictions due to fear of loss of control
and attempts to limit the experience. If one breathes slowly and deeply ,
smiling instead of grimacing, the fear will become conscious and can be
surrendered. Sexuality loses its compulsiveness. Freedom means not just freedom to
indulge but freedom not to have sex or or gasm. When we are surrendered,
we are not run by the desire for the or gasm. This unleashes creative
experiencing and awareness because the mind is not focused on the or gasm
itself. T o be free from the domination of the desire for or gasm allows sexual
experiences that have been described in spiritual literature as “T antric Sex.”
Most W esterners read a little about it and perhaps give it a try , but then they
give up because they approach it in a way that leads to suppression rather
than to greater freedom. The more truly liberated we become, the more we are motivated by
lovingness rather than by desire for gratification. This change of motivation
from wanting and hunger to the mutual sharing of pleasure and happinessbrings about major changes in the nature of sexual relationships. The
intimacy with another person becomes more encompassing and pleasurable. There is greater attunement to the other person’ s sexuality and intuitive
fulfillment of each other ’ s styles of satisfaction. One couple expressed it as
follows:
It is as though we just witness what our bodies are doing. It is as
though we are the space in which it is all happening. As soon as
one person has a desire or fantasy , the other automatically and
without even thinking, moves into the acting out of fulfilling it. It
is as though there is a psychic connection. There is an
acknowledgement of the inner feelings about the fantasies and a
letting go of how the other person might react. There is greater
variation and frequency with sexuality , also. It used to be mainly
Friday and Saturday nights. Now making love may happen for
days at a time, or sometimes weeks go by without it. It is always
new . It is never the same. Amazingly , it just keeps getting better
and better . Each or gasm seems better than the last, yet often the
lovemaking is so enjoyable that there is no bother to have an
or gasm. If it happens it’ s okay , and it’ s okay if it doesn’ t. The
intimate time spent together is satisfying and freeing, regardless of
any end result. Another man said:
I never really realized before how much sex ran my relationships. It was really compulsive. I was always afraid I would miss out on
a sexual opportunity . I didn’ t want to miss out on the opportunity
for pleasure. Now my pattern is more variable; in fact, now I have
no pattern. When it happens, it happens and it’ s great when it does. When it doesn’ t, I don’ t even think about it. I used to have sex on
my mind all the time. W omen would usually say ‘No.’ But now
that I really don’ t care that much about it, they usually either
suggest it or say ‘Y es’ if I ask. Now , I find that I am more
concerned about them instead of myself. Before, I was really just
using them for my own selfish ends and, intuitively , the women
knew it. Now I feel a lot of love for them. I really care about theirwelfare and happiness, even if it’ s only a single encounter . What a
relief not to have to lie anymore. From the above examples, it is clear that there is a change in
consciousness from lack to abundance. When we are self-centered and
focused on getting emotional or physical pleasure from sex with another
person, then we feel angry , frustrated, and deprived. The more loving we
become, the more we receive what others are giving us, and we discover
that we are all surrounded by love and opportunities for loving
involvements, all of the time. This was the case for one woman, who shared
the following experience:
I was always overweight and not very good-looking. All through
my life, I rejected myself. I envied and hated sexually attractive
women. I got to hate men, too, because they avoided me. I was full
of self-pity . I even tried psychotherapy , but I quit when it became
apparent that the psychotherapist seemed more interested in his
attractive young women patients than he was in me. I tried various
self-help methods and at least got over my self-pity and
depression; I was able to get a better job. But, men still weren’ t
interested in me, and I was unsuccessful in the sexual and
relational arenas. Using the mechanism of letting go, she went into all the negative
emotions that she had about herself and intimacy; she allowed the feelings
to come up one by one, and she let them go. She let go of feelings like
wanting attention and acceptance from others, fear of expressing herself,
fear of being rejected, and even the fear of being deeply loved. There was
the underlying feeling, “I don’ t deserve love; who could possibly love me?”
W ithin a week of surrendering these feelings, she had a date. She explained:
I was so excited that I even lost my appetite. W e had a great time
and then all of a sudden I saw the secret. I was giving love instead
of looking for it. My whole life has changed now . Instead of
feeling desperate to get attention and love, I know I have the
power to give it. When I enter a room, I see all the lonely , love-
starved men. They look just the way I used to, so I know what it is
they are feeling and what to say to them and how to expressmyself. I put myself in their place and watch their hearts melt. I
used to scare them away because I was so hungry . Get that? Hungry! That was my problem. Now I feel full, and I share that
fullness and what I have learned. My social life has become so
enjoyable that I don’ t have time to eat anymore. I have lost 35
pounds in a year . I never even dieted. I just lost interest. I guess it
is because I am getting gratified in a way now that really means
something to me. Maybe I am a little wild with the newness of it,
but I’ll settle down before long. There is one man I’m really
interested in now . Sexuality , then, reflects our overall state of consciousness. As we let go
of fear and limitations, that area of our life expands and becomes ever more
gratifying, and yet not necessary for happiness. Freedom and creativity
replace compulsiveness and limitation. Sex becomes another avenue for
greater expression and increasing awareness. The pleasure of communion
and nonverbal understanding replaces the former self-centered drivenness
for relief from tension and the limited goal of sexual pleasure and ego
inflation. The secret, as the woman above stated, is in the awareness that
when we seek to give instead of to get, all of our own needs are
automatically fulfilled. As one person remarked, “I have heard about many
personal problems from my friends who practice this technique, but lack of
lovers isn’ t one of them!” 
CHAPTER
19
A C H I E V E M E N T  O F  V O C A T I O N A L  G O A L S
Feelings and Abilities
Our thoughts determine the extent to which we manifest our talents and
abilities, and they set the quality and quantity of our successes and failures. But what is it that determines and influences the direction of our thoughts? As we have seen, it is our feelings that determine and produce the kind of
thinking that will lead us to success or failure in any endeavor . Feelings are
the key to the expansion or constriction of our talents, abilities, and actions. Generally , we are knowledgeable and well trained in matters pertaining
to the outer world. Y et we are sometimes unknowledgeable and untrained in
the inner world, the world of feelings. Because feelings determine thoughts
and the thoughts we hold in mind determine outcomes, it is important to
clarify the relationship between our feelings and the freeing of our abilities
so that they result in successful action. T o summarize what we have said about the scale of consciousness, and
to make it simple, we can briefly categorize all feelings as either negative or
positive and, of course, the thoughts that will result from them will be either
negative or positive. Negative Feelings Related to W ork
These feelings are always unpleasant and range from mildly uncomfortable
to painful. They instigate the process of thinking and ideation that leads to
“I can’ t” and “W e can’ t,” regardless of the event, situation, or problem in
which the person is involved. Negative feelings arise when we dislike whatwe see, hear , think, or remember . Our reaction to disliking comes in the
form of such feelings as anger , grief, and anxiety . Our usual way of dealing
with unpleasant feelings is to suppress them, and because of this, we
assume that these feelings are part and parcel of our thinking process. This
error results because the feelings of dislike are being processed through our
thoughts. Suppressing these feelings does not make them disappear . On the
contrary , they will re-emer ge as negative thoughts. Negativity does not exist
within a situation or event; rather , it resides in our reaction to the situation
as we see it. When negative feelings are acknowledged and relinquished,
the situation can rapidly change in appearance from impossible to easily
manageable, workable, and even quite useful. One of the most prominent negative feelings that blocks success in
professional life is that of envy . The underlying dynamic of envy is that
when we see someone else getting ahead, this triggers our own sense of
insecurity . It’ s not simply that we see the other person’ s achievement and
feel envy . Rather , the other person’ s achievement triggers in us a feeling of
lack or inadequacy about ourselves. It triggers the feeling, “Maybe I’m not
accomplishing what I should be accomplishing,” or “Maybe I won’ t be able
to accomplish what I want to accomplish,” or “Maybe my accomplishments
aren’ t appreciated by others and go unnoticed.”
Envy is painful because it arouses our own sense of inadequacy . And
then we often resent the person whose successes have inadvertently
provoked this feeling. Unconsciously , this resentment fuels our endless
desire for strokes, which, of course, do not come our way because our
wantingness repels the very thing we want. As the cycle progresses, we feel increasingly dissatisfied and unhappy
in our job and alienated from our colleagues. There may be the belief,
“Everyone is against me.” Our family members may grow weary of our
constant complaints about the situation at work. W e may seek escape at the
end of the day through endless television or over -indulgence in food, sleep,
drugs, and alcohol. What’ s the way out of this cycle of envy and dissatisfaction? As we’ve
said before, the answer is to go within . W ith envy , we are constantly
looking at others, evaluating their accomplishments, and comparing
ourselves to them. W e see the cost of this looking outward in the film,
Chariots of Fir e , when one of the runners turned to see where his opponent
was in the race. The moment he took his eye of f the finish line to comparehimself with another runner , he lost that split second which cost him the
whole race. The man who won the race was motivated by the sheer love of
running and to do his best. He didn’ t run to “beat” another . He didn’ t
compare himself to other runners. He ran his best because he loved to run. When we look within ourselves, we see what the underlying feelings
are that prevent our success: competitiveness, self-doubt, insecurity ,
inadequacy , and desire for approval. Are we willing to look at these
feelings? Once our feelings are recognized, it becomes obvious to us that
they work against us. They drain our ef forts and impede our success in the
world. Our self-doubts block the very recognition we seek. Once we see the cost of negative feelings to our happiness and success,
we will become willing to let go of them and the payof fs we get from them. For example, we become willing to let go of the cheap little satisfaction we
get from blaming others for our lack of success. W e become willing to let
go of the sympathy we garner from those who listen to our complaints. When we let go of our feelings of inadequacy , we will find that envy of
others disappears. W e become like the winning runner in Chariots of Fir e
who loves what he does, delights in his success and that of others, and has
boundless ener gy to excel in the world. Positive Feelings Related to W ork
These are always felt as pleasant and include such feelings as joy ,
happiness, and security . They instigate a process of thinking and ideation
that is exemplified by the thoughts “I can” and “W e can,” regardless of the
event, situation, or problem in which the person is involved. Positive feelings flow naturally when negative feelings are not in
action. Nothing needs to be done to acquire positive feelings, as they are
part and parcel of our natural state. This positive inner state is always there,
and it is merely covered over by suppressed negative feelings. When the clouds are removed, the sun shines forth. The freeing up of
abilities, creative ideas, talents, and resourcefulness occurs automatically as
a result of the positive state of mind that ensues when the negative aspects
have been surrendered. Letting go of negativity frees up inspiration to
create an endless flow of creative ideas. For example, there was the case of
a producer of an award-winning Broadway musical who attributed the
success of the hit show to the letting go of negative feelings through the
mechanism of surrender . There have been writers, artists, and musicianswho came into a sudden breakthrough of inspiration as soon as a negative
belief or self-limitation was recognized and surrendered. The same
experience has been recounted by scientists who suddenly just “knew” the
formula that would cure a disease. It is as if the ener gy field of creative
genius is available and waiting for us as soon as we surrender the clouds of
negativity that prevent its revelation to us. Feelings and the Decision-Making Pr ocess
W e can simplify the levels of consciousness into three major states: inert,
ener getic, and peaceful. These three states are related to the decision-
making process. The first state—inertia—is reflective of the emotional
levels of apathy , grief, and fear . The nature of these feelings is to interfere
with our concentration on the situation at hand and engage us instead in
concentration on our own thoughts, most of which are in the realm of “I
don’ t know ,” “I’m not sure,” and “I don’ t think I can.” This successive
concentration of our own uselessly cycling thoughts renders us temporarily
unable to perceive the full dimension and possibilities of the overall
situation at hand. While these negative thoughts and feelings are flowing, it is dif ficult
for us to arrive at any decision. Sometimes we opt to stall the decision until
we feel better . At other times, we proceed to arrive at a decision that we
think will answer our questions or take care of a situation. Unfortunately ,
the decision that results is not sustainable in the long run because it is based
on the feeling state, and when the feeling state changes, the decision has to
be changed with it. This leads to inner insecurity , ambivalence, confusion,
and a loss of confidence in us by those around us. In the computer language
of “garbage in and garbage out,” the negative feeling state is the “garbage
in,” and the decisions that come out of it must be on the same level. The second state, which is higher than inertia, is that of being
“ener getic.” The emotions underlying this state are those of desire, anger ,
and pride. The nature of these feelings is to interfere less with concentration
than the previous lower state because some positive thoughts are allowed to
flow through and mix with the negative feelings. This is the state of the
“go-getter .” Although things are accomplished, there is unevenness of
performance because of the mixture of positive and negative thoughts and
ideas. Negative feelings such as ambition, desire, or “proving oneself” tendto drive the “go-getter ,” and at times the decision-making is compulsive or
impulsive. Characteristic of this level of consciousness is personal self-gain as the
primary motivating factor . Therefore, many of the decisions are
unsustainable because they are based on a win-lose situation rather than on
a win-win situation. A win-win decision would have occurred had the
feelings and welfare of the other persons involved in the situation been
taken into account. Using language relating to the body’ s ener gy centers, we say that
people on this level are motivated by their “solar plexus” (third chakra). This means that they seek to attain success and to master the world. But
they are self-centered and driven by personal motives, with little concern
for the welfare of others or of the world in general. Because their decisions
benefit primarily themselves, their success is limited to personal gain. Any
benefit to the world is purely secondary and the results, therefore, fall far
short of greatness. The third and highest level is the peaceful state, based upon the
feelings of courage, acceptance, and love. Because these feelings are purely
positive and non-disturbing by their very nature, they allow us to
concentrate completely on the situation and observe all of the relevant
details. Because of an inner state of peace, inspiration brings forth ideas that
solve the problem. In this state, the mind is free of worry , and its ability to
communicate and concentrate is unimpeded. From this state come solutions
to problems that are placed in a win-win context; because everyone
benefits, everyone lends their ener gy to the project and success is shared by
all. This approach not infrequently leads to greatness. It characterizes the
noble projects that bring about far -reaching improvements in our society . On this level we discover that when everyone’ s needs in a situation are met,
our own needs are fulfilled automatically . The unimpeded creative mind
will work out a solution where everyone gains and no one loses. If we look at a situation and claim that a win-win solution is not
possible, that should warn us that we have some un-surrendered inner
feelings blocking a possibly perfect solution. W e need to remember the
dictum that the impossible becomes possible as soon as we are totally
surrendered to the situation. Feelings and Sales AbilityInasmuch as selling is a part of many vocations, involving either a product
or ideas or our personal services, it is rewarding to look at the relationship
between these three basic levels of consciousness and sales ability itself. The lowest or inertia state is governed by feelings of apathy , grief and
fear; it is obvious that sales ability is at its lowest. Sales persons in this state
are often told by prospects that they are not interested in the product right
now . This leads immediately to negative thinking and self-criticism with
thoughts such as, “They don’ t want my product.” The very nature of sales
activity exposes sales persons to rejection and disappointment. They may
temporarily escape these feelings, by taking cof fee breaks or indulging in
personal conversation with other employees; however , their feelings have
impaired their concentration and diminished their ability to produce
resourceful ideas. The low self-esteem creates vulnerability to
discouragement, which, in turn, creates expectations of failure. When
thoughts of failure are held in mind, failure is precipitated in the sales
situation. At this point, by acknowledging the negative feelings and letting
go of the payof f from each of them, a person can evolve to the next level. The next level, the ener getic state, is based on feelings of desire, anger ,
and pride. It includes a greater degree of vigor and drive. This facilitates
better concentration on the work goal; however , because the feelings are
somewhat driven, there may be excessive verbalization, with more time
spent talking to sales prospects than listening to them. This may typically
lead to premature closings, pushing too hard, and creating marketing
problems. Nonetheless, achievement of sales goals is possible on this level
because of the higher ener gies invoked. One block to success on this level is
the focus on self-gain and the underlying viewpoint, “I win; they lose.” This
self-seeking motive is intuitively picked up by sales prospects and may lead
to resistance. The thoughts characteristic of this level are along the lines of:
“I want to get them to buy it, so I’ll get a good commission.”
On the highest or peaceful level, based upon the feelings of courage,
acceptance, and love, our ability to concentrate is at its highest. Sales
people on this level are able to listen carefully to the other person, and place
the sale in a context of what is beneficial to the buyer rather than to the
seller . Because the mind is peaceful and creative, they are never at a loss for
creative ideas as to what will produce sales or what will turn problems into
solutions. The person on this level often converts customers to friends, and
the customers tend to become loyal. Achievement of sales goals on thislevel is assured because what is being held in mind is the positive situation
of win-win and the inner certainty that a win-win solution can be created in
the situation. Often, surrendering to what appears to be an impossible situation
quickly turns into a positive experience. This is exemplified by the case of
someone who had been working in an art gallery . Sales were slow; she
hadn’ t made a sale in weeks. She tried a number of consciousness
techniques with herself and worked very hard at it. She utilized
visualization, positive thinking, advance sales techniques, and written
af firmations; however , nothing came of it. Her frustration mounted
progressively , with the accompanying feeling, “I can’ t.” Finally , in
desperation, she just let go completely and surrendered all of her pent-up
feelings. Inside of herself, she suddenly felt free of all the ef forting, trying,
and striving. The inner tension disappeared and, instead, she felt at peace as
she went to work that morning at the gallery . W ithin the first hour at work,
she sold two copies of a sculpture, which interestingly enough, was titled
“Letting Go.”
Executives of a number of companies have documented similar
breakthroughs. For instance, a partner in one of the country’ s most
prestigious accounting firms, after experiencing success with inner
surrender , eventually left the firm in order to share with others what he
considered to be the most beneficial thing he had encountered in his life. He
wanted to introduce the approach to a number of lar ge corporations. He
studied the outcome at one of the lar gest insurance companies in America. His study found that, within six months of learning the technique, the
insurance agents’ sales increased by 33% over a control group. He
concluded that success in the world is related to our ability to concentrate,
which means the ability to keep our attention on one thing at a time without
interference of other thoughts or feelings. A mind that is concentrated on a positive thought has the power to
increase the likelihood that the positive thought will materialize in the
world of events. The most successful people in the world are those who
hold in mind the highest good of all concerned, including themselves. They
know that there is a win-win solution to every problem. They are at peace
with themselves, which allows them to be supportive of the potential and
success of others. They do work which they love, and so they feel
continually inspired and creative. They do not seek happiness; they havediscovered that happiness is a by-product of doing what they love. A feeling
of personal fulfillment comes naturally from their positive contribution to
the lives of others, including family , friends, groups, and the world at lar ge. CHAPTER
20
P H Y S I C I A N ,  H E A L  T H Y S E L F
By popular request, the personal experience of self-healing has been shared
many times at lectures, talks, and workshops. Everyone seems to want to
hear the story over and over again of how a physician was healed of many
diseases. Therefore, this chapter will relate the highlights of recovery and
healing, because they illustrate in detail just how the principles and
techniques we have been talking about actually work at the pragmatic level. Lived experience and clinical observation confirm that the majority of
human disorders are susceptible to being cured by following certain
principles. Many diseases can be reversed unless there is a strong karmic
dominance to the contrary . Paradoxically , those serious cases, where all hope has been given up,
often respond promptly and give the best results. This is perhaps because
the person has finally let go and is now “sweetly reasonable.” They are
ready for what Thomas Kuhn calls “a paradigm shift,” that is, a willingness
to see things dif ferently from an expanded perspective and to be open-
minded. Sometimes it takes chronic sickness, suf fering, pain, and a
confrontation with the fear of death before a person is willing to let go of
cherished beliefs and open up to the truth of clinical reality . Basic Principles
This chapter details the healing and recovery from a multitude of physical
illnesses in the life of a physician. W e will delineate the basic principles that
facilitated the process of self-healing. In doing this, there will be a reviewof some of the material we have already covered, so as to bring it together
into an integrated overall experience. W e will start with the basic working
concepts:
•  A thought is a “thing.” It has ener gy and form. •  The mind with its thoughts and feelings controls the body; therefore,
to heal the body , thoughts and feelings need to be changed. •  What is held in mind tends to express itself through the body . •  The body is not the real self; it is like a puppet controlled by the
mind. •  Beliefs that are unconscious can manifest as illness, even though
there is no memory of the underlying beliefs. •  An illness tends to result from suppressed and repressed negative
emotions, plus a thought that gives it a specific form (i.e.,
consciously or unconsciously , one particular illness is chosen rather
than another). •  Thoughts are caused by suppressed and repressed feelings. When a
feeling is let go, thousands or even millions of thoughts that were
activated by that feeling disappear . •  Although a specific belief can be cancelled and ener gy to it can be
refused, it is generally a waste of time to try to change thinking itself. •  W e surrender a feeling by allowing it be there without condemning,
judging, or resisting it. W e simply look at it, observe it, and allow it
to be felt without trying to modify it. W ith the willingness to
relinquish a feeling, it will run out in due time. •  A strong feeling may recur , which means there is more of it to be
recognized and surrendered. •  In order to surrender a feeling, sometimes it is necessary to start by
relinquishing the feeling that is there about the particular emotion
(e.g., guilt that “I shouldn’ t have this feeling”). •  In order to relinquish a feeling, sometimes it is necessary to
acknowledge and let go of the underlying payof f of it (e.g., the“thrill” of anger and the “juice” of sympathy from being a helpless
victim). •  Feelings are not the real self. Whereas feelings are programs that
come and go, the real inner Self always stays the same; therefore, it is
necessary to stop identifying transient feelings as yourself. •  Ignore thoughts. They are merely endless rationalizations of inner
feelings. •  No matter what is going on in life, keep the steadfast intention to
surrender negative feelings as they arise. •  Make a decision that freedom is more desirable than having a
negative feeling. •  Choose to surrender negative feelings rather than express them. •  Surrender resistance to and skepticism about positive feelings. •  Relinquish negative feelings but share positive ones. •  Notice that letting go is accompanied by a subtle, overall lighter
feeling within yourself. •  Relinquishing a desire does not mean that you won’ t get what you
want. It merely clears the way for it to happen. •  Get it by “osmosis.” Put yourself in the aura of those who have what
you want. •  “Like goes to like.” Associate with people who are using the same or
similar motivation and who have the intention to expand their
consciousness and to heal. •  Be aware that your inner state is known and transmitted. The people
around you will intuit what you are feeling and thinking, even if you
don’ t verbalize it. •  Persistence pays of f. Some symptoms or illnesses may disappear
promptly; others may take months or years if the condition is very
chronic.•  Let go of resisting the technique. Start the day with it. At the end of
the day , take time out to relinquish any negative feelings left over
from the day’ s activities. •  Y ou are only subject to what you hold in mind. Y ou are only subject
to a negative thought or belief if you consciously or unconsciously
say that it applies to you. •  Stop giving the physical disorder a name; do not label it. A label is a
whole program. Surrender what is actually felt, which are the
sensations themselves. W e cannot feel a disease. A disease is an
abstract concept held in the mind. W e cannot, for instance, feel
“asthma.” It is helpful to ask, “What am I actually feeling?” Simply
observe the physical sensations, such as, “T ightness in the chest,
wheezing, a cough.” It is not possible, for example, to experience the
thought, “I’m not getting enough air .” That is a fearful thought in the
mind. It is a concept, a whole program called “asthma.” What is
actually being experienced is a tension or a constriction in the throat
or chest. The same principle goes for “ulcers” or any other disorder . W e cannot feel “ulcers.” W e feel a burning or piercing sensation. The
word “ulcer” is a label and a program, and as soon as we use that
word to label our experience, we identify ourselves with the whole
“ulcer” program. Even the word “pain” is a program. In reality , we
are feeling a specific body sensation. The process of self-healing
goes more quickly when we let go of labeling or giving a name to the
various physical sensations. •  The same is true with our feelings. Instead of putting labels and
names on feelings, we can simply feel the feelings and let go of the
ener gy behind them. It is not necessary to label a feeling “fear” in
order to be aware of its ener gy and relinquish that ener gy . The Healing of Multiple Diseases
In the case of this physician, there were so many illnesses all at one time
that it was impossible to remember them all. When giving a lecture, it was
necessary to list them on an index card. All of the following illnesses were
occurring at age 50:Migraine headaches. Chronic and frequent. Blocked Eustachian tubes. Painful earaches. Near -sightedness and astigmatism. T rifocals were prescribed. Sinusitis; postnasal drip; aller gies. Dermatitis, various types. Gout attacks. Necessary to carry a cane in the trunk of the car and
to have a restricted diet. Cholesterol problem. Further restrictions in diet. Duodenal ulcer . Chronic and recurring for over 20 years,
unresponsive to all medical treatments. Pancreatitis. Intermittent attacks precipitated by the recurrent ulcer . Gastritis; hyperacidity; intermittent pylorospasm. Therefore,
further diet restrictions. Colitis, recurring. Diverticulitis. An appendicitis-type condition of the colon. Sometimes hemorrhaged, requiring hospitalization and blood
transfusions. Common problems at the lower end of the gastrointestinal tract. Scheduled for sur gery . Arthritis of the cervical spine (neck). Displacement of the fourth
cervical vertebrae. Low back syndrome, necessitating chiropractic treatment. V ibration disease (Raynaud’ s Syndrome). Loss of sensation and
impending gangrene in finger tips due to loss of circulation.Middle age syndrome. Coldness in hands and feet, loss of ener gy
and libido, and depression. Pilonidal cyst at base of spine. Curable only by sur gery . Bronchitis and chronic cough. Aggravated the headaches,
spondylosis, and low back syndrome. Poison ivy sensitivity . Skin broke out every year . Sometimes
required hospitalization. Athlete’ s foot. There was the belief system that it came from hotel
room floors. Dandruf f. There was the belief system that it came from being in a
barbershop. Inflammation of the cartilage (Tzietze’ s Syndrome). A rare disorder , with painful swelling of the junction of the rib and
sternum. Dental and gum problems. Loss of bone around the base of teeth. Sur gery was recommended for the gums. Overall ener gy imbalance. Kinesiologic testing revealed that all  of
the ener gy systems were out of balance, and every meridian tested
weak. In retrospect, it is mind-boggling how the body kept on going in the
world and functioned as well as it did. Inasmuch as each of the disorders
required a further restriction in diet, there were times when lettuce and
carrots were about the only “safe” foods. This led to the loss of 25 pounds
and a body that looked thin and haggard. Later , some friends revealed that
they had made bets on how long that body was going to last. Most of them
estimated that it would probably keel over at about age 53. The inner question at the time was: How could a successful, highly
educated professional man, functioning creatively in the world, leading abalanced life, who had been thoroughly psychoanalyzed and experienced
many modalities of therapy and healing, still have so many physical
ailments? Y es, there was a lar ge workload, but it was balanced with
physical exercise and creative work such as carpentry , masonry , woodwork,
and architectural design. Moreover , the spiritual life was active, with two
hours of meditation every day , before and after work. The endless
techniques mentioned in the Introduction were investigated: self-hypnosis,
macrobiotics, reflexology , iridology , polarity therapy , af firmations, astral
projection, group intensives, bodywork, relaxation, and so on. What was the answer to this strange paradox of someone who had tried
a multitude of techniques, groups, and therapies, but who still had a
staggering array of illnesses? Also, how was it that he operated so
successfully in the world despite this long list of illnesses and the constant
pain that went with them? The answer seemed to be: a very strong will. It
carried him through all obstacles and had the power to push aside anything
that interfered with that ef fective functioning—in this case, primarily ,
feelings. W ith that kind of willpower , when a feeling was suppressed, it
stayed suppressed. The scientific ideal is objectivity . Objectivity means an absence of
emotion. The achievement of this ideal in clinical and scientific work
necessitated a suppression of feelings. This was especially intense given the
nature of the clinical practice, which was with severely ill people. The
extent of their suf fering and that of their families seemed nearly endless. It
went on relentlessly day after day , year in and year out. The intensity was
compounded by having a compassionate nature and being attuned to
people’ s suf fering. The mounting pressures of suppressed emotion in all
areas of life obviously contributed to the multiplicity of illnesses. At a certain point, both the mechanism of surrender and A Course in
Miracles  were investigated and applied to daily life. Because of the busy
work schedule, there was very little time for any new techniques. Happily ,
the “W orkbook” of A Course in Miracles  requires the simple contemplation
of a sentence or “lesson” throughout the day . The power of this technique is
the alleviation of guilt by utilizing the mechanism of for giveness. The
mechanism of surrender could also be done silently throughout the day as
an inner process. The two tools worked together . Surrendering and
for giving went on simultaneously during the day .Once the mind knows the way to alleviate its inner pressure, like
Pandora’ s box, it begins to let all the garbage up, and up it came in
profusion! Thoughts and feelings, which had hardly been noticed at the
time of their occurrence, now returned. Life had been so busy that there had
not been the time to handle them. The decompression process began to
unfold on its own. One immediate discovery was that every negative feeling or thought is
associated with guilt, and this guilt is so all-encompassing that it is
constantly being suppressed. Thus, there is no such thing as just anger . The
actual feeling is anger/guilt. There is guilt every time we have a critical
thought about someone. The mind’ s constant judging and criticizing of the
world, its events and people, is an unending source of guilt. Guilt itself
engenders negative feelings, and negative feelings in and of themselves also
engender guilt. It is that deadly combination which pulls us all down and
creates such widespread illness and unhappiness. The guilt is so
omnipresent that no matter what we are doing we feel somewhere in our
mind that we “should” be doing something else. W e have lived with so
much guilt for so long that we don’ t even recognize it anymore, and
somehow that guilt is projected by the average mind onto the world around
it. That is why most people need an “enemy”—an object on which to
project their inner guilt. It is also where tyrants get their power , by
manipulating people’ s guilt and finding a satisfactory tar get for it. There was also the discovery of a disdain for feelings. Anger surfaced
at the imposition of feelings, which can make a person feel like a “victim.”
T o a left-brain orientation, feelings were the opposite of reasonableness,
logic, and rationality . Superimposed on this was the male chauvinist idea
that emotions were for women, children, and artistic types. Feelings had
been primarily a matter of intellectual understanding and clinical analysis. When they came up internally , they had been labeled, pigeon-holed, and
filed away . At the beginning of working with the letting go technique, there was a
period of rebellion and actually hating the feelings and experiencing dread
over having to deal with them. It seemed degrading to have to suf fer
through them. This required a shift of self-concept because of the strong
identification with the intellect. Now , like it or not, it had to be
acknowledged that everyone is a thinking/ feeling  or ganism. It would not
work to keep denying reality .Before long, it was okay to have feelings. W ith the letting go
technique, the only way out was to acknowledge and relinquish the feelings. This became easier as the physical condition started to improve. Although it
can initially be dif ficult to face feelings in ourselves, the light at the end of
the tunnel had shone itself, and this engendered hope. W ithin days of using the technique, the physical condition at the lower
end of the gastrointestinal tract promptly healed itself and, in fact, the
sur gery was cancelled. Many of the symptoms that had been active for
years, even decades, began to diminish in intensity and frequency as the
months went by . Migraine headaches, in particular , became less and less
frequent. Lower back pains disappeared. The body began to feel lighter and
stronger . Then, an unexpected crisis came that brought intense emotional
pressure. The diverticulitis returned in a severe form with massive
hemorrhaging. There was an inner decision of great magnitude: “Either this
stuf f works or it doesn’ t.” So this time, instead of going to the hospital and
getting transfusions, there was complete surrender . All of the sensations
going on in the abdomen were acknowledged and not resisted. They were
not given a name or a label. Instead of thoughts or words, there was a sense
of oneness with the sensations, the cramps, and the pain. There was no
resistance to the sensations, no matter how intense. Like being on a razor ’ s
edge, every sensation and feeling was recognized and surrendered. This
went on for four solid hours. At the end of four hours, the bleeding stopped,
the cramps went away , and the diverticulitis was healed. Later , there were
some minor recurrences; but each one was handled in the same way , and
eventually the attacks subsided and disappeared. So the mechanism of
surrender passed the acid test. It succeeded where everything else had
failed. W ith continued application, other disorders began to fade away . Over time, the experience of “knowing” replaced thinking. Knowing
comes on in a totally dif ferent manner . It is just standing there for our
recognition. One morning upon waking, there was the “knowing” of being
cured of poison ivy . At the same time, it was obvious that the very name,
the label “poison ivy ,” was a program and a belief system in and of itself. In
any case, there was the “knowing” of being immune to poison ivy , even
when going outside, touching it, playing with it, and putting some of it in a
flower pot to carry to an interview program that evening! The subject of the
interview was: “The Power of Consciousness in Self-Healing.”Another episode of “knowingness” occurred one day when
unexpectedly confronted by intense insecticide fumes. Such fumes had been
a severe aller gy for many years and invariably triggered a severe migraine. On this particular day , however , there was the sudden “knowing” of
immunity to fumes. W alking into a recently fumigated home and taking
very deep breaths of the fumes without any consequences at all, a sudden
elated feeling of freedom prevailed. How wonderful to be free and to
experience the power of mind! It was obvious in that moment that we are
only subject to those things that we hold in mind. It is not necessary to be a
slave or victim in the world. The same thing happened with a long-standing belief about elevated
cholesterol. As the belief and concept of it were cancelled, eating dairy
products was resumed with no negative impact on cholesterol. In fact, blood
testing showed a progressive lowering of unhealthy cholesterol levels! Moreover , food intolerances and aller gies disappeared. It took at least
another year , however , for the sugar intolerance and functional
hypoglycemia to disappear . For a period of time, it would still recur under
periods of stress, especially physical exertion, after eating sugar and sweets
accompanied by caf feine. In the meantime, it was possible to return to a regular diet after many
years of severe restrictions. How freeing to eat foods with seeds (not
allowed with diverticulitis), all the foods that were supposed to be
contraindicated for ulcers and colitis, and even hot fudge sundaes! It took a
couple of years for the functional hypoglycemia to disappear , but eventually
it was possible to eat all of the sweets that had been forbidden for years. The whole middle age syndrome was a belief system as well. As this
belief system was cancelled and surrendered, the coldness disappeared from
the hands and feet. The fatigue, mild depression, and irritability also
disappeared. Physical stamina increased and the tolerance for physical work
became almost unlimited. Now that the more major things were out of the way , some of the minor
ailments were consciously addressed. The belief in pilonidal cyst was
surrendered. In six weeks, it disappeared. The Eustachian tube, which
always blocked when flying in airplanes, caused severe pain in the right ear . It took two years to correct itself. There was a continual letting go of all
thoughts and feelings about it and, at the same time, the use of visualization
in which the angle of the canal with the right temple bone was pictured aschanging to a normal angle. This was the only ailment with which
visualization was used. At the end of two years, the ailment disappeared,
and there was never any further dif ficulty in clearing the ears with changes
in altitude. In the meantime, the neck pains were progressively disappearing, and
this made dancing possible. While dancing and surrendering any resistance
to the neck pain, soon the body began to automatically put itself into self-
healing postures and movements, as though there were an inner chiropractor
manipulating the spine. It was an uncanny sensation, as though invisible
healers were realigning the spine. As this was going on, there were changes in circulation occurring in the
hands and feet, and they were no longer cold all the time. The vibration
disease in the fingertips, which had been threatening gangrene, now
reversed itself. The pads on the fingertips swelled back out and turned pink
again. The burning pain in the fingertips disappeared. Sensation returned. Up to that time, the fingers had become so numb that it was not possible to
turn the pages of a book.
_OceanofPDF.com_Letting_Go_-_David_R_Hawkins.txt
Summarize the following text section accurately and concisely. Maintain specific details and numerical information, and use anti-repetition mechanisms:

        Suppression,
repression, and projection are all destructive dynamics and result in a
progressive stress on and decline of our relationships. W e like to pretend that our innermost feelings are unknown to others,
but are they. W e are all connected to each other on the psychic, intuitive
level; so, our feelings are read and known by others. W e may not be
consciously aware of it, but their behavior toward us reveals that they know
our inner attitude and feelings toward them. For example, let’ s say that our external behavior on the job is
exemplary. Why is it, we ask, that the other person gets the promotion or
the recognition, and we do not. The answer is to look at our hidden inner
feelings about the boss and the job. Do we really think that he hasn’ t
registered our inner envy, criticalness, and resentment. It is a safe bet to
assume that others know our inner feelings and the thoughts that go with
those feelings. The kind of thoughts we are having about them is very likely
matched with similar thoughts they are having about us. If we realize this
principle, a lot of things that happen in our life will start to make sense. W e
can ask ourselves, “How would I react if I were the other person and knew
exactly what my personal inner feelings and thoughts really were. ” The
answer to that will usually make clear what the other person’ s behavior is
all about. Perhaps we didn’ t get the promotion because, at the unspoken,
ener getic level, our boss knew that we were critical of him, resentful of our
colleagues, and clamoring for approval and recognition. Before searching ourselves for negative feelings, it is best to remember
that these feelings are not our real inner Self. They are learned programs we
have inherited from being humans. Nobody is exempt from them; everyone
from the highest to the lowest has or has had an ego. Even the few who are
enlightened had an ego at one time before it was finally transcended. This is
the human condition. T o be able to observe our feelings honestly requires a
nonjudgmental attitude. W e first have to be aware of what is really going on inside of us before
we can do anything about it. As we let go of a feeling, it is replaced by a
higher one. The only purpose for recognizing and admitting a feeling is so
that we can relinquish it. T o be surrendered means that we are willing to
relinquish a feeling by allowing ourselves just to experience it and not to
change it. Resistance is what keeps it there in the first place. W e may think that some of the negative emotions are necessary to us;
however, upon examination we will discover that this is an illusion. The
higher emotions are far more powerful and ef fective in bringing about the
fulfillment of our needs. Let’ s ask ourselves, for example, what would we be willing to do for
someone we really, truly love. W e will instantly see that it is almost
anything. There is almost no limit to which we will go for love. Now
contrast this with what we are willing to do for someone who has
intimidated us. W e will see that we grudgingly give as little as possible. While the intimidators may seem to get away with something temporarily
on the surface, they really have lost the whole thing, haven’ t they. Their
victory is superficial, temporary, and not even real—a victory in appearance
only. In the end, the world turns, and the intimidators sow their own
destruction. What we win by the negative emotion is short-lived and
inauthentic. It doesn’ t really satisfy. It’ s like a forced compliment. Real
happiness results from a win-win situation. The price of a win-lose situation
is hatred and low self-esteem. Underneath it all, we fool neither ourselves,
nor others. Others always know when we are out to exploit them. If we have dif ficulty in relinquishing a feeling, it helps merely to look
at the intent of that feeling. What is the purpose of it. What is the supposed
purposeful ef fect on the other person. What is their likely response. Do we
really want that. If this were the last day of our life, would that really be
what we wanted. W ell, this is  the last day of our life—our old life with allits conflicts, anxiety, and fear. That is the price we have paid for holding on
to the old. As we relinquish the negative suppressed feelings from all the
programs we have internalized, they are automatically replaced by the
higher ones. W e become happier and lighter and so do the people around us. Let’ s review what these higher feelings are and what ef fect they have on the
other person’ s feelings and behavior in response to us. Positive Feelings
The higher feelings of courage, willingness, confidence, capability, “can
do,” zest, humor, competence, self-suf ficiency, and creativity have an
emotional purpose: ef fective actions, operation, and accomplishment. The
reaction of other persons will reflect back to us cooperation, courage,
respect, and a willingness to be with us. Additionally, because we increase
their self-esteem, they seek our company. As we look at all of this, we see
that there is a wonderful payof f in return for our willingness to let go of the
negative feelings that stand in the way of these higher feelings, which
ef fortlessly accomplish our real goals and purpose. When we are operating on the level of acceptance, enjoyment, warmth,
gentleness, softness, trustingness, inner truth, and faith, the emotional
purposes to which the other person responds are those of love, enjoyment,
pleasure, harmony, peacefulness, understanding, and sharing. Their reaction
to us will be one of acceptance, satisfaction, feeling “in tune,” feeling
understood, and joy. They will automatically return our love. It is rather
obvious that these reciprocal feelings bring about success in whatever the
venture may be with the other person, whether it is vocational, social,
personal, or a simple everyday business interaction. Connectedness
When our inner feelings are of peacefulness, serenity, tranquility, stillness,
openness, and simplicity, the ef fect on other persons is to increase their
awareness along with our own, and to give them a greater sense of freedom,
perfection, unity, and at-oneness with ourselves. In their relationship with
us, they will feel joined; they will identify with us; they will understand at a
deep level; and they will feel in communion with us. As a consequence,
they will seek our presence, because in it they feel complete, recognized,
and contented. They will experience an increased awareness of their ownreal Self. They will feel higher in our presence or when they think of us. Their response back to us will be that of love and gratitude for the blessing
of our presence. In such a relationship, goals are automatically and
ef fortlessly accomplished. Because we are not holding negativity, there is
nothing we wish to hide from the other person, and this openness allows the
other person to drop all defenses. Nothing is hidden out of guilt or fear, and
there is a very conscious psychic connectedness. It is on this level that so-called telepathic phenomena occur with
regularity. When we are in total harmony with another person, there is no
desire on our part to withhold or guard any thoughts or feelings. Because
the other person responds similarly, there is an ef fortless knowing of what is
crossing the other person’ s mind and what their passing feeling states may
be. There is a total acceptance of our own humanness and that of the other. If we are really in tune with others, we for give them when we see a passing
jealousy or reactivity. W e realize it is only natural. And we know that they,
in return, are aware of our passing resentment. Y et, they are overlooking it;
they accept our humanness, and they understand the situation. They know
us so well that they recognize the likelihood of a passing resentment in
certain situations, but they know, also, that we are going to let it go. The
people with whom we share a relationship of loving acceptance are okay
with our humanness and their own. No matter the surface emotions, we
remain aware of the shared alignment to love, acceptance, and harmony
with each other and the world. This level of communication actually can be reached with anyone. It
does not have to be someone with whom we are intimately associated. V ery
often we experience it first with our friends with whom there is less at stake
than intimate family members. Another situation where it often occurs in
the course of an average life is with an ex-lover. W ith this person to whom
we have revealed so much—now that there is no longer anything romantic
at stake—a friendship might develop in which it is no longer necessary to
hide anything. There can be truly open communication, honesty, and
integrity. W e see this not infrequently in couples that have separated or
divorced. Once the turmoil has settled down, they get along easily and may
even remain the best of friends for many years. Ef fect of Positive FeelingsIt is obvious that higher states of consciousness have a profound ef fect on
our relationships, because one of the laws of consciousness is like goes to
like. Our inner states are actually radiated to others. W e can positively af fect
others even when we are not physically with them. Feelings are ener gy and
all ener gy gives of f a vibration. W e are like sending and receiving stations. The less negativity we are holding, the more aware we can be of what
others are really holding about us. The more we love, the more we find
ourselves surrounded by love. The replacement of a negative feeling by a
higher one accounts for the many miracles one can experience in the course
of life. These become more frequent as one continues to surrender. As we surrender, life becomes more and more ef fortless. There is a
constant increase in happiness and pleasure, which requires less and less
from the outer world to be experienced. There is a diminution of needs and
expectations of others. W e stop looking “out there” for what we now
experience as coming from within ourselves. W e let go of the illusion that
others are the source of our happiness. Instead of looking to get from others,
we now look to give. Others now seek to be with us, instead of avoiding us. In Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Car ol, Scrooge experienced the pleasure
of giving instead of looking to get from others. The joy of that
transformation is available to us all. Carl Jung wrote of the phenomenon called “synchronicity,” which
might also have been called “simultaneity,” to explain the occurrence of
events that, to the intellect, appear unrelated. As we surrender more and
more, this type of experience becomes commonplace. An illustration of this
phenomenon is the following experience related by a business executive
who had been practicing the letting go technique for about a year. I was President of a small corporation with about fifty employees. W e had built up a promising young man to head one of the
divisions of the company. It turned out, however, that this man was
very immature. Instead of responding with gratitude and
cooperation for all that was done for him, he reacted by becoming
grandiose, demanding, and somewhat paranoid. He declared that
he was going to bar ge into the next Board of Directors meeting and
cause a big upset with his wild accusations and demands. Although
all of his accusations could have been easily refuted, the whole
af fair sounded like a dreadful experience to live through. For days,he appeared just plain hateful with his threats. The day of the
Board meeting, which was to be at 1 P. M. , I was driving along the
parkway thinking angry thoughts about him. Suddenly I let it all
go; I surrendered on him totally. I started to see the frightened
child in him, and I started to send him love. All of my anxiety
disappeared, and I felt a sympathetic love for him. I looked at my
watch and it was 12:30 P.
The author believes that our innermost feelings are not unknown to others, as we are all connected on a psychic and intuitive level, and others can sense our emotions and thoughts.
What is the author's stance on the idea that our innermost feelings are unknown to others?
The purpose of recognizing and admitting a feeling is so that we can relinquish it and move on.
What is the purpose of recognizing and admitting a feeling?
The key to manifesting success and happiness is to let go of negative feelings and replace them with positive ones, which will lead to a win-win situation.
What is the key to manifesting success and happiness in one's life?
According to the author, we can influence others by recognizing and letting go of our negative feelings and replacing them with positive ones, which will attract positive energy and bring about a win-win situation.
What is the mechanism by which we can influence others?
The three states of consciousness mentioned (inertia, energy, and peace) are related to the decision-making process, and each one is associated with a specific set of thoughts and feelings.
What is the relationship between the three states of consciousness mentioned in the chapter?