I feel as 
though I’ve been struggling for 20 years 
just to make ends  meet. And I still have 
nothing to show for it. You mean in terms of material wealth? I mean in terms of just some of the basics 
that a man would like to pass on to his 
children. I  mean in terms of some of the 
very simple things a man would like to 
provide for his wife. I see. You see it as your job in life to provide 
all these things. Is that what you  imagine 
your life to be about? I’m not sure I’d state it that way. This is not 
what my life is about, but it sure would be 
nice if  this could be a by -product, at least. Well, let’s go back, then. What do you see 
your life being about? That’s a good question. I’ve had a lot of 
different answers to that through the years. What is your answer now? It feels as though I have two answers to 
that question; the answer I’d like to see, 
and the  answer I’m seeing. What’s the answer you’d like to see? I’d like to see my life being about the 
evolution of my soul. I’d like to see my lif e 
being about  expressing and experiencing 
the part of me I love most. The part of me 
that is compassion  and patience and giving 
and helping. The part of me that is knowing 
and wise, forgiving  and...love. Sounds like you’ve been reading this book! Yes, well it’s a beautiful book, on an 
esoteric level, but I’m trying to figure out 
how to  “practicalize” that. The answer to 
your question that I see being real in my life 
is that it’s  about day -to-day survival. Oh. And you think one thing precludes the 
other? Well...  
You think esoterics preclude survival? The truth is, I’d like to do more than just 
survive. I’ve been surviving all these years. I notice  I’m still here. But I’d like the 
struggle for survival to end. I see that just 
getting by from day to  day is still a struggle. I’d like to do more than just survive. I’d like 
to prosper. And what would you call prospering? Having enough that I don’t have to worry 
where my next dollar is coming from; not 
having to  stress and strain just to make the 
rent, or handle  the phone bill. I mean, I hate 
to get so  mundane, but we’re talking real 
life here, not the airy -fairy, spiritually 
romanticized picture of  life you draw 
throughout this book. Do I hear a little anger there? Not anger so much as frustration. I’ve been 
at the spiritual game for over 20 years now 
and look where it’s gotten me. One 
paycheck away from the poorhouse! And 
now I’ve just lost  my job, and it looks like 
the cash flow has stopped again. I’m 
getting really tired of the  struggle. I’m 49 
years old, and I’d like to have some security 
in life so that I could devote  more time to 
“God stuff,” to soul “evoluting,” etc. That’s where my heart is, but it’s not where  my life 
allows me to go...  
Well, you’ve said a mouthful there, and I 
suspect you’re speaking for a whole lot of 
people when you share that experience. I’m going to respond to your truth one 
sentence at a time, so that we can easily 
track, and dissect, the answer. You have not been “at this spiritual game” 
for 20 years, you have been barely skirting 
the edges of it (This is not a “spanking,” by 
the way, this is just a statement of the truth.) I’ll concede that for two decades you’ve 
been looking at it; flirting with it; 
experimenting now and then...but I haven’t 
felt your true —your truest —commitment to 
the game until just recently. Let’s be clear that “being at the spiritual 
game” means dedicating your whole mind, 
your whole body, your whole soul to the 
process of creating Self in the image and 
likeness of God. This is the process of Self -realization abo ut 
which Eastern mystics have written. It is the 
process of salvation to which much 
Western theology has devoted itself. This is a day -to-day, hour -to-hour, moment -
to-moment act of supreme consciousness. It is a choosing and a re -choosing every 
instant. It  is ongoing  creation. Conscious 
creation. Creation with a purpose. It is 
using the tools of  creation we have 
discussed, and using them with awareness 
and sublime intention. That is “playing this spiritual game.” Now, 
how long have you been at this? I haven ’t even begun. Don’t go from one extreme to the other, and 
don’t be so hard on yourself. You have  
been dedicated to this process —and 
you’re actually engaged in it more than 
you’ll  give yourself credit for. But you 
haven’t been doing so for 20 years —or 
anything  close to that. Yet the truth is, how 
long you have been engaged in it is not 
important. Are you engaged in it now? That’s all that matters. Let’s move on with your statement. You ask 
us to “look where it’s gotten you,” and  you 
describe yo urself as being “one step away 
from the poorhouse.” I look at you  and see 
a quite different thing. I see a person who is one step away from the rich  house! You 
feel you are one paycheck from oblivion, 
and I see you as one paycheck  from 
Nirvana. Now much de pends, of course, on 
what you see as your “pay” —and to what 
end you are working. If the object of your life is to acquire what 
you call security, I see and understand  why 
you feel you are “one paycheck from the 
poorhouse.” Yet even this assessment  is 
open to correction. Because with My pay, 
all good things come to you —including  the 
experience of feeling secure in the physical 
world. My pay —the payoff you get when you 
“work for” Me —provides a great deal more  
than spiritual comfort. Physical comfort, 
too, can be yours. Yet the ironic part about  
all this is that, once you experience the kind of spiritual comfort My payoff provides,  the 
last thing you’ll find yourself worrying about 
is physical comfort. Even the physical comfort of members of 
your family wi ll no longer be a concern to  
you—for once you rise to a level of God 
consciousness you will understand that 
you are not responsible for any other 
human soul, and that while it is 
commendable to  wish every soul to live in 
comfort, each soul must choose —is 
choosing —its own  destiny this instant. Clearly, it is not the highest action to 
deliberately abuse or destroy another. Clearly,  it is equally inappropriate to neglect 
the needs of those you have caused to be  
dependent on you. Your job is to render them inde pendent; to 
teach them as quickly and completely as  
possible how to get along without you. For 
you are no blessing to them so long as  they 
need you to survive but bless them truly 
only in the moment they realize you  are 
unnecessary. In the same sense, God’ s greatest moment 
is the moment you realize you need no  
God. I know, I know...this is the antithesis of 
everything you’ve ever been taught. Yet  
your teachers have told you of an angry 
God, a jealous God, a God who needs to 
be needed. And that is not a God at all, but 
a neurotic substitute for that which would 
be a deity. A true Master is not the one with the most 
students, but one who creates the most  
Masters. A true leader is not the one with the most 
followers, but one who creates the most  
leaders. A true  king is not the one with the most 
subjects, but one who leads the most to  
royalty. A true teacher is not the one with the most 
knowledge, but one who causes the most  
others to have knowledge. And a true God is not One with the most 
servants, but One who s erves the most,  
thereby making Gods of all others. For this is both the goal and the glory of 
God: that His subjects shall be no more,  and that all shall know God not as the 
unattainable, but as the unavoidable. I would that you could this understand: your  
happy destiny is unavoidable. You  cannot 
not be “saved.” There is no hell except not 
knowing this. So now, as parents, spouses, and loved 
ones, seek not to make of your love a glue  
that binds, but rather a magnet that first 
attracts, then turns around and  repels, lest  
those who are attracted begin to believe 
they must stick to you to survive. Nothing  
could be further from the truth. Nothing 
could be more damaging to another. Let your love propel your beloveds into the 
world —and into the full experience of  who 
they are. In this will you have truly loved. It 
is a great challenge, this path of the  householder. There are many distractions, 
many worldly concerns. The ascetic is  
bothered by none of these. He is brought 
his bread and water, and given his humble  
mat on which to lie, and he can devote his 
every hour to prayer, meditation, and  
contemplation of the divine. How easy to 
see the divine under such circumstances! How simple a task! Ah, but give one a 
spouse, and children! See the divine in a  
baby who needs changing at 3 A.M. See 
the divine in a bill that needs paying by the  
first of the month. Recognize the hand of 
God in the illness that takes a spouse, the  
job that’s lost, the child’s fever, the parent’s 
pain. Now we are talking saintliness. I understand y our fatigue. I know you are 
tired of the struggle. Yet I tell you this:  
When you follow Me, the struggle disappears. Live in your God space and the  
events become blessings, one and all. How can I get to my God space when I’ve 
lost my job, the rent needs paying, the kids 
need a  dentist, and being in my lofty, 
philosophical space seems the least likely 
way to solve any of  this? Do not forsake Me when you need Me 
most. Now is the hour of your greatest  
testing. Now is the time of your greatest 
chance. I t is the chance to prove everything  
that has been written here. When I say “don’t forsake Me,” I sound like 
that needy, neurotic God we talked  about. But I’m not. You can “forsake Me” all you 
want. I don’t care, and it won’t  change a 
thing between us. I me rely say this in 
answer to your questions. It is when  the going gets tough that you so often forget 
Who You Are, and the tools I have  given 
you for creating the life that you would 
choose. Now is the time to go to your God space 
more than ever. First, it w ill bring you great  
peace of mind —and from a peaceful mind 
do great ideas flow —ideas which could  be 
solutions to the biggest problems you 
imagine yourself to have. Second, it is in your God space that you 
Self realize, and that is the purpose —the 
only purp ose—of your soul. When you are in your God space, you know 
and understand that all you are now  
experiencing is temporary. I tell you that 
heaven and Earth shall pass away, but you  shall not. This ever -lasting perspective 
helps you to see things in their pr oper light. You can define these present conditions 
and circumstances as what they truly are:  
temporary and temporal. You may then use 
them as tools —for that is what they are,  
temporary, temporal tools —in the creation 
of present experience. Just who do you  think you are? In 
relationship to the experience called lose -
a-job, who do you think you are? And, 
perhaps more to the point, who do you 
think I am? Do you imagine this is too big a 
problem for Me to solve? Is getting out of 
this jam  too big a miracle for  Me to handle? I understand that you may think it’s too big 
for you to handle, even with all the tools I 
have given you —but do you really think it’s  too big for Me? I know intellectually that no job is too big for 
God. But emotionally I guess I can’t be 
sure. Not  whether You can handle it, but 
whether You will. I see. So it’s a matter of faith. Yes. You don’t question My ability;  you merely 
doubt My desire. You see, I still live this theology that says 
there may be a lesson in here somewhere 
for me. I’m still not sure I’m supposed to 
have a solution. Maybe I’m supposed to 
have the problem. Maybe this is one of 
those “tests” my theology keeps telling me 
about. So I worry that this  problem may not 
be solved. That this is one of those You’re 
going to let  me hang here with...  Perhaps this is a good time to go over once 
more how it is that I interact with you,  
because you think it is a question of My 
desire, and I’m telling you it’s a question of  
yours. I want for you what you want for you. Nothing more, no thing less. I don’t sit here 
and make a judgment, request by request, 
whether something should be granted you. My law is the law of cause and effect, not 
the law of We’ll See. There is nothing you  
can’t have if you choose it. Even before you 
ask, I will ha ve given it to you. Do you  
believe this? No. I’m sorry. I’ve seen too many prayers 
go unanswered. Don’t be sorry. Just always stay with the 
truth—the truth of your experience. I  understand that. I honor that. That’s okay 
with Me. Good, because I don’t beli eve that 
whatever I ask, I get. My life has not been 
a testimony to  that. In fact, I rarely get what 
I ask for. When I do, I consider myself 
damned lucky. That’s an interesting choice of words. You 
have an option, it seems. In your life, you  
can either be damned lucky, or you can be 
blessing lucky. I’d rather you be blessing  
lucky —but, of course, I’ll never interfere 
with your decisions. I tell you this: You always get what you 
create, and you are always creating. I do not make a judgment about the 
creation s that you conjure, I simply 
empower  you to conjure more —and more and more and more. If you don’t like what 
you’ve  just created, choose again. My job, 
as God, is to always give you that 
opportunity. Now you are telling Me that you haven’t 
always gotten wha t you’ve wanted. Yet I am  
here to tell you that you’ve always gotten 
what you called forth. Your Life is always a result of your thoughts 
about it —including your obviously  creative 
thought that you seldom get what you 
choose. Now in this present instance  you 
see yourself as the victim of the situation in 
the losing of your job. Yet the truth  is that 
you no longer chose that job. You stopped 
getting up in the morning in  anticipation, 
and began getting up with dread. You 
stopped feeling happy about your  work and 
began feeling resentment. You even began fantasizing doing something  else. You think 
these things mean nothing? You 
misunderstand your power. I tel l you this: 
Your Life proceeds out of your intentions for 
it. So what is your intention  now? Do you 
inten d to prove your theory that life seldom 
brings you what you  choose? Or do you 
intend to demonstrate Who You Really Are 
and Who I Am? I feel chagrined. Chastised. Embarrassed. Does that serve you? Why not simply 
acknowledge the truth when you hear it, 
and move toward it? There is no need to 
recriminate against yourself. Simply notice 
what  you’ve been choosing and choose 
again. But why am I so ready to always choose 
the negative? And then to spank myself for 
it? What can you expect? You were told from 
your ea rliest days that you’re “bad.” You  
accept that you were born in “sin.” Feeling 
guilty is a learned response. You’ve been  
told to feel guilty about yourself for things 
you did before you could even do  anything. You have been taught to feel shame for 
being born less than perfect. This alleged state of imperfection in which 
you are said to have come into this world  is 
what your religionists have the gall to call 
original sin. And it is original sin —but not  
yours. It is the first sin to be perpetrated 
upon you by a world which knows nothing 
of God if it thinks that God would —or 
could —create anything imperfect. Some of your religions have built up whole 
theologies around this misconception. And 
that is what it is, literally: a misconception. For anything I  conceive —all that to  which I 
give life —is perfect; a perfect reflection of 
perfection itself, made in the  image and 
likeness of Me. Yet, in order to justify the idea of a punitive 
God, your religions needed to create  
something for Me to be angry about. So  
that even those people who lead exemplary  
lives somehow need to be saved. If they 
don’t need to be saved from themselves,  
then they need to be saved from their own 
built-in imperfection. So (these religions  
say) you’d better do something about all of 
this—and fast —or you’ll go straight to  hell. This, in the end, may do nothing to mollify 
a weird, vindictive, angry God, but it does  give life to weird, vindictive, angry religions. Thus,  do religions perpetuate  themselves. Thus,  does power remain concentrated  in 
the hands of the few, rather  than 
experienced though the hands of the many. Of course you choose constantly the lesser 
thought, the smaller idea, the tiniest  
concept of yourself and your power, to say 
nothing of Me and Mine. You’ve been  
taught to. My G od, how can I undo the teaching? A good question and  addressed to just the 
right person! You can undo the teaching by reading and 
re-reading this book. Over and over  again, 
read it. Until you understand every 
passage. Until you’re familiar with every  
word. When you can quote its passages to others, when you can bring its phrases to  
mind in the midst of the darkest hour, then 
you will have “undone the teaching.”  
Yet there is still so much I want to ask You; 
still so much I want to know. Indeed. You began with a very long list of 
questions. Shall we get back to it? Chapter 8  
When will I learn enough about 
relationships to be able to have them go 
smoothly? Is there a  way to be happy in 
relationships? Must they be constantly 
challenging? You have nothing to learn about 
relationships. You have only to 
demonstrate what  you already know. There is a way to be happy in relationships, 
and that is to use relationships for their  
intended purpose, not the purpose you 
have designed. Relationships are 
constan tly challenging; constantly calling 
you to create, express, and experience 
higher and  higher aspects of yourself, 
grander and grander visions of yourself, 
ever more  magnificent versions of yourself. Nowhere can you do this more 
immediately,  impactfully, an d immaculately 
than in relationships. In fact, without 
relationships, you  cannot do it at all. It is only through your relationship with 
other people, places, and events that you  
can even exist (as a knowable quantity, as 
an identifiable something) in the  universe. Remember, absent everything else, you 
are not. You only are what you  are relative 
to another thing that is not. That is how it is 
in the world of the relative,  as opposed to 
the world of the absolute —where I reside. Once you clearly understand th is, once you 
deeply grasp it, then you intuitively bless  
each and every experience, all human 
encounter, and especially personal human  
relationships, for you see them as 
constructive, in the highest sense. You see that they can be used, must be used, are 
being used (whether you want them to be 
or not) to construct Who You Really Are. That construction can be a magnificent 
creation of your own conscious design, or 
a strictly happenstance configuration. You 
can choose to be a person who has  
resulted simply fr om what has happened, 
or from what you’ve chosen to be and do  
about what has happened. It is in the latter 
form that creation of Self becomes  
conscious. It is in the second experience 
that Self becomes realized. Bless, therefore, every relationship, and 
hold each as special and formative of Who  
You Are —and now choose to be. Now your inquiry has to do with individual 
human relationships of the romantic sort,  and I understand that. So let Me address 
Myself specifically, and at length, to  human 
love relationsh ips—these things which 
continue to give you such trouble! When human love relationships fail 
(relationships never truly fail, except in the  
strictly human sense that they did not 
produce what you want), they fail because  
they were entered into for the wron g 
reason. (“Wrong,” of course, is a relative term, 
meaning something measured against that  
which is “right” —whatever that is! It would 
be more accurate in your language to say  
“relationships fail —change —most often 
when they are entered into for reasons not  
wholly beneficial or conducive to their 
survival.”)  Most people enter into relationships with an 
eye toward what they can get out of  them, 
rather than what they can put into them. The purpose of a relationship is to  decide 
what part of yourself  you’d like to see “show 
up,” not what part of another you  can 
capture and hold. There can be only one 
purpose for relationships —and for all  of life: 
to be and to decide Who You Really Are. It is very romantic to say that you were 
“nothing” until that spec ial other came 
along,  but it is not true. Worse, it puts an 
incredible pressure on the other to be all 
sorts of  things he or she is not. Not wanting to “let you down,” they try very 
hard to be and do these things until they  
cannot anymore. They can no long er 
complete your picture of them. They can no  
longer fill the roles to which they have been assigned. Resentment builds. Anger  
follows. Finally, in order to save themselves (and 
the relationship), these special others  
begin to reclaim their real selves, ac ting 
more in accordance with Who They Really  
Are. It is about this time that you say 
they’ve “really changed.”  
It is very romantic to say that now that your 
special other has entered your life, you  feel 
complete. Yet the purpose of relationship is 
not to h ave another who might  complete 
you; but to have another with whom you 
might share your completeness. Here is the paradox of all human 
relationships: You have no need for a 
particular  other in order for you to experience, fully, Who You Are, 
and...without a nother, you  are nothing. This is both the mystery and the wonder, 
the frustration and the joy of the human  
experience. It requires deep understanding 
and total willingness to live within this  
paradox in a way which makes sense. I 
observe that very few peop le do. Most of you enter your relationship -forming 
years ripe with anticipation, full of sexual  
energy, a wide -open heart, and a joyful, if 
eager, soul. Somewhere between 40 and 60 (and for 
most it is sooner rather than later) you’ve  
given up on your grand est dream, set aside 
your highest hope, and settled for your  
lowest expectation —or nothing at all. The problem is so basic, so simple, and yet 
so tragically misunderstood: your  grandest 
dream, your highest idea, and your fondest 
hope has had to do with you r beloved other 
rather than your beloved Self. The test of 
your relationships has had  to do with how 
well the other lived up to your ideas, and 
how well you saw yourself  living up to his 
or hers. Yet the only true test has to do with 
how well you live up t o yours. Relationships are sacred because they 
provide life’s grandest opportunity —
indeed,  its only opportunity —to create and 
produce the experience of your highest  
conceptualization of Self. Relationships fail 
when you see them as life’s grandest  
opportun ity to create and produce the 
experience of your highest 
conceptualization  of another. Let each person in relationship worry about 
Self—what Self is being, doing, and  having; 
what Self is wanting, asking, giving; what 
Self is seeking, creating,  experiencing, and 
all relationships would magnificently serve 
their purpose —and their participants! Let each person in a relationship worry not 
about the other, but only, only, only about  
Self. This seems a strange teaching, for you 
have been told that in the highest form of  
relationship, one worries only about the 
other. Yet I tell you this: your focus upon the  
other —your obsession with the other —is 
what causes relationships to fail. What is the other being? What is the other 
doing? What is the other having? What is  
the other saying? Wanting? Demanding? What is the other thinking? Expecting? Planning? The Master understands that it doesn’t 
matter what the other is being, doing, 
having,  saying, wanting, demanding. It 
doesn’t matter what the other is thi nking, 
expecting,  planning. It only matters what 
you are being in relationship to that. The most loving person is the person who 
is Self -centered. That is a radical teaching...  
Not if you look at it carefully. If you cannot 
love your Self, you cannot love another. Many people make the mistake of seeking 
love of Self through love for another. Of  
course, they don’t realize they are doing 
this. It is not a conscious effort. It’s what’s  
going on in the mind. Deep in the mind. In what you call the subconscious. They  think: 
“If I can just love others, they will love me. Then I will be lovable, and I can  love me.”  
The reverse of this is that so many people 
hate themselves because they feel there  is 
not another who loves them. This is a 
sickness —it’s when people are  truly 
“lovesick” because the truth is, other 
people do love them, but it doesn’t matter. No matter how many people profess their 
love for them, it is not enough. First, they don’t believe you. They think you 
are trying to manipulate them —trying to  get 
something. (How could you love them for 
who they truly are? No. There must be  
some mistake. You must want something! Now what do you want?) . They sit around trying to figure out how 
anyone could actually love them. So they  
don’t believe you, and embark on a 
campaign to make you prove it. You have 
to prove that you love them. To do this, they 
may ask you to start altering your  behavior. Second, if they finally come to a place 
where they can believe you love them, they  
begin at once to worry about how long they 
can keep your love. So, in order to hold  
onto your love, they start altering their 
behavior. Thus, two people literally lose  
themselves in a relationship. They get into 
the relationship hoping to find  themselves, 
and they lose themselves instead. This losi ng of the Self in a relationship is 
what causes most of the bitterness in such  
couplings. Two people join together in a partnership 
hoping that the whole will be greater than  
the sum of the parts, only to find that it’s  
less. They feel less than when they were  
single. Less capable, less able, less 
exciting, less attractive, less joyful, less 
content. This is because they are less. They’ve 
given up most of who they are in order to 
be—and to stay —in their relationship. Relationships were never meant to be thi s 
way. Yet this is how they are experienced  
by more people than you could ever know. Why? Why? It is because people have lost touch with (if 
they ever were in touch with) the  purpose 
of relationships. When you lose sight of each other as 
sacred souls on a sacred journey, then you  
cannot see the purpose, the reason, 
behind all relationships. The soul has come 
to the body, and the body to life, for the 
purpose of evolution. You are evolving, you  
are becoming. And you are using your 
relationship with everything to decide what  
you are becoming. This is the job you came 
here to do. This is the joy of creating  Self. Of knowing Self. Of becoming, consciously, 
what you wish to be. It is what is  meant by 
being Self-conscious . You have brought your Self to th e relative 
world so that you might have the tools  with 
which to know and experience Who You 
Really Are. Who You Are is who you  create 
yourself to be in relationship to all the rest 
of it. Your personal relationships  are the most important elements in this process. Your personal relationships are  therefore 
holy ground. They have virtually nothing to 
do with the other, yet, because  they involve 
another, they have everything to do with the 
other. This is the divine dichotomy. This is the 
closed circle. So it i s not such a radical  
teaching to say, “Blessed are the Self -
centered, for they shall know God.” It might  
not be a bad goal in your life to know the 
highest part of your Self, and to stay  
centered in that. Your first relationship, therefore, must be 
with yo ur Self. You must first learn to  honor 
and cherish and love your Self. You must first see your Self as worthy 
before you can see another as worthy. You  must first see your Self as blessed before 
you can see another as blessed. You  must 
first know your Self  to be holy before you 
can acknowledge holiness in  another. If you put the cart before the horse —as 
most religions ask you to do —and 
acknowledge another as holy before you 
acknowledge yourself, you will one day  
resent it. If there is one thing none of you 
can tolerate, it is someone being holier  than 
thou. Yet your religions force you to call 
others holier than thou. And so you do  it—
for a while. Then you crucify them. You have crucified (in one way or another) 
all of My teachers, not just One. And you  
did so not because they were holier than 
thou, but because you made them out to  
be. My teachers have all come with the same 
message. Not “I am holier than thou,” but  
“You are as holy as am I.”  
This is the message you have not been 
able to hear; this is the tru th you have not  
been able to accept. And that is why you 
can never truly, purely, fall in love with  
another. You have never truly, purely fallen 
in love with your Self. And so I tell you this: be now and forever 
centered upon your Self. Look to see what  
you are being, doing, and having in any 
given moment, not what’s going on with  
another. It is not in the action of another, but in your 
re-action, that your salvation will be  found. I know better, but somehow this makes it 
sound as though we should not mind what others  do to us in relationships. They can 
do anything, and so long as we hold our 
equilibrium, keep  our Self centered, and all 
that good stuff, nothing can touch us. But 
others do touch us. Their  actions do 
sometimes hurt us. It is when the hurt 
comes into relationships that I don’t know  
what to do. It’s all very well to say “stand 
aside from it; cause it to mean nothing,” but  
that’s  easier said than done. I do get hurt 
by the words and actions of others in 
relationships. The day will come wh en you will not. That 
will be the day on which you realize —and 
actualize —the true meaning of 
relationships; the true reason for them. It is because you have forgotten this that 
you react the way you do. But that is  alright. That is part of the growth proce ss. It is part of evolution. It is Soul Work you  are up to 
in relationship, yet that is a grand 
understanding, a grand remembering. Until 
you remember this —and remember then 
also how to use relationship as a tool  in the 
creation of Self —you must work at th e level 
at which you are. The level of  
understanding, the level of willingness, the 
level of remembrance. And so there are things you can do when 
you react with pain and hurt to what  
another is being, saying, or doing. The first 
is to admit honestly to you rself and to  
another exactly how you are feeling. This 
many of you are afraid to do, because you  
think it will make you “look bad.” 
Somewhere, deep inside of you, you  
realize that it  probably is ridiculous for you 
to “feel that way.” It probably is small o f you. You are  “bigger than that.” But you can’t 
help it. You still feel that way. There is only one thing you can do. You 
must honor your feeling. For honoring your  
feelings means honoring your Self. And 
you must love your neighbor as you love  
yourself. H ow can you ever expect to 
understand and honor the feelings of 
another  if you cannot honor the feelings 
within your Self? The first question in any interactive process 
with another is: now Who Am I, and  Who 
Do I Want to Be, in relationship to that? Often y ou do not remember Who You Are, 
and do not know Who You Want to Be  until 
you try out a few ways of being. That is why 
honoring your truest feelings is so  
important. If your first feeling is a negative feeling, 
simply having the feeling is frequently all 
that is needed to step away from it. It is 
when you have the anger, have the upset, 
have  the disgust, have the rage, own the 
feeling of wanting to “hurt back,” that you 
can disown these first feelings as “not Who 
You Want to Be.”  
The Master is one who has li ved through 
enough such experiences to know in  
advance what her final choices are. She 
does not need to “try out” anything. She’s  
worn these clothes before and knows they 
do not fit; they are not “her.” And since a  
Master’s life is devoted to the constant 
realization of Self as one knows oneself to  
be, such ill -fitting feelings would never be 
entertained. That is why Masters are imperturbable in 
the face of what others might call calamity. A Master blesses calamity, for the Master 
knows that from the seeds of disaster  (and 
all experience) comes the growth of Self. And the Master’s second life purpose  is 
always growth. For once one has fully Self 
realized, there is nothing left to do  except 
be more of that. It is at this stage that one moves from soul 
work to God work, for this is what I am up  
to! I will assume for the purposes of this 
discussion that you are still up to soul work. You are still seeking to realize (make “real”) 
Who You Truly Are. Life (I) will give you  
bountiful opportunities to create that 
(remember, life is not a process of 
discovery,  life is a process of creation). You can create Who You Are over and over 
again. Indeed, you do —every day. As  
things now stand, you do not always come 
up with the same answer, however. Given 
an identical o uter experience, on day one 
you may choose to be patient,  loving, and 
kind in relationship to it. On day two you 
may choose to be angry, ugly,  and sad. The Master is one who always comes up 
with the same answer —and that answer is  
always the highest choice. In this the Master is imminently predictable. Conversely, the student is completely  
unpredictable. One can tell how one is 
doing on the road to mastery by simply  
noticing how predictably one makes the 
highest choice in responding or reacting to  
any situat ion. Of course, this throws open the question, 
what choice is highest? That is a question around which have 
revolved the philosophies and theologies of  
man since the beginning of time. If the 
question truly engages you, you are  
already  on your way to maste ry. For it is still 
true that most people continue to be 
engaged  by another question altogether. Not, what is the highest choice, but what is 
the most  profitable? Or how can I lose the 
least? When life is lived from a standpoint of 
damage control or optimu m advantage, the  
true benefit of life is forfeited. The 
opportunity is lost. The chance is missed. For a  life lived thusly is a life lived from 
fear—and that life speaks a lie about you. For you are not fear, you are love. Love that 
needs no protection, lo ve that cannot  be 
lost. Yet you will never know this in your 
experience if you continually answer the  
second question and not the first. For only 
a person who thinks there is something to  
gain or to lose asks the second question. And only a person who sees  life in a  
different way; who sees Self as a higher 
being; who understands that winning or  
losing is not the test, but only loving or 
failing to love —only that person asks the 
first. He who asks the second question says, “I 
am my body.” She who asks the fi rst says, 
“I am my soul.”  
Yea, let all those who have ears to hear, 
listen. For I tell you this: at the critical  juncture in all human relationships, there is 
only one question:  
What would love do now? No other question is relevant, no other 
question is me aningful, no other question 
has any importance to your soul. Now we come upon a very delicate point of 
interpretation, for this principle of love -
sponsored action has been widely 
misunderstood —and it is this 
misunderstanding  which has led to the 
resentment s and angers of life —which, in 
turn, have caused so  many to stray from 
the path. For centuries you have been taught that 
love-sponsored action arises out of the  
choice to be, do, and have whatever 
produces the highest good for another. Yet I tell you this:  the highest choice is that 
which produces the highest good for you. As with all profound spiritual truth, this 
statement opens itself to immediate  
misinterpretation. The mystery clears a bit 
the moment one decides what is the  
highest “good” one could do for oneself. And when the absolute highest choice is  
made, the mystery dissolves, the circle 
completes itself, and the highest good for  
you becomes the highest good for another. It may take lifetimes to understand this —
and even more lifetimes to implement —for 
this truth revolves around an even greater 
one: What you do for your Self, you do for  
another. What you do for another, you do 
for the Self. This is because you and the other are one. And this is because... There is naught but You. All the Ma sters who have walked your 
planet have taught this. (“Verily, verily, I say  
unto you, inasmuch as ye have done it unto 
one of the least of these my brethren,  ye 
have done it unto Me.”) Yet this has 
remained for most people merely a grand  
esoteric truth, wi th little practical 
application. In fact, it is the most practically  
applicable “esoteric” truth of all time. It is important in relationships to remember 
this truth, for without it relationships will  be 
very difficult. Let’s go back to the practical appli cations 
of this wisdom and step away from the  
purely spiritual, esoteric aspect of it for 
now. So often, under the old understandings, 
people —well-meaning and well -
intentioned  and many very religious —did 
what they thought would be best for the 
other person  in their relationships. Sadly, 
all this produced in many cases (in most 
cases) was  continued abuse by the other. Continued mistreatment. Continued 
dysfunction in the  relationship. Ultimately, the person trying to “do what is 
right” by the other —to be quic k to forgive,  
to show compassion, to continually look 
past certain problems and behaviors —
becomes resentful, angry, and mistrusting, 
even of God. For how can a just God  
demand such unending suffering, 
joylessness, and sacrifice, even in the 
name of  love? The answer is, God does not. God asks 
only that you include yourself among those  
you love. God goes further. God suggests —
recommends —that you put yourself first. I do this knowing full well that some of you 
will call this blasphemy, and therefore not  
My wor d, and that others of you will do what 
might be even worse: accept it as My  word 
and misinterpret or distort it to suit your own 
purposes; to justify unGodly acts. I tell you this —putting yourself first in the 
highest sense never leads to an ungodly 
act. If, therefore, you have caught yourself in an 
unGodly act as a result of doing what is  
best for you, the confusion is not in having put yourself first, but rather in  
misunderstanding what is best for you. Of course, determining what is best for you 
will req uire you to also determine what it  is 
you are trying to do. This is an important 
step that many people ignore. What are  
you “up to”? What is your purpose in life? Without answers to these questions, the  
matter of what is “best” in any given 
circumstances w ill remain a mystery. As a practical matter —again leaving 
esoterics aside —if you look to what is best 
for you in these situations where you are 
being abused, at the very least what you 
will do is stop the abuse. And that will be 
good for both you and your abuser. For 
even  an abuser is abused when his abuse 
is allowed to continue. This is not healing to the abuser but  
damaging. For if the abuser finds that his  
abuse is acceptable, what has he learned? Yet if the abuser finds that his abuse will  be 
accepted n o more, what has he been 
allowed to discover? Therefore, treating others with love does 
not necessarily mean allowing others to do  
as they wish. Parents learn this early with children. Adults are not so quick to learn it with other  
adults, nor nation with nation. Yet despots cannot be allowed to flourish 
but must be stopped in their despotism. Love of Self, and love of the despot, 
demands it. This is the answer to your  
question, “If love is all there is, how can 
man ever justify war?”  Sometimes man must go to war to make 
the grandest statement about who man  
truly is: he who abhors war. There are times when you may have to give 
up Who You Are in order to be Who  You 
Are. There are Masters who have taught: you 
cannot have it all until you are willing to  give 
it all up. Thus, in order to “have” yourself as a man 
of peace, you may have to give up the  idea 
of yourself as a man who never goes to 
war. History has called upon men for  such 
decisions. The same is true in the most individual and 
the most personal relationships. Life  may 
more than once call upon you to prove Who You Are by demonstrating an  aspect of 
Who You Are Not. This is not so difficult to understand if you 
have lived a few years, though for the  
idealistically young it may seem the 
ultimate cont radiction. In more mature  
retrospection it seems more divine 
dichotomy. This does not mean in human relationships 
that if you are being hurt, you have to  “hurt 
back.” (Nor does it mean so in relationships 
between nations.) It simply means  that to 
allow another to continually inflict damage 
may not be the most loving thing to  do—for 
your Self or the other. This should put to rest some pacifist 
theories that highest love requires no 
forceful  response to what you consider evil. The discussion here tur ns esoteric once 
more, because no serious exploration of  
this statement can ignore the word “evil,” 
and the value judgments it invites. In truth,  
there is nothing evil, only objective 
phenomena and experience. Yet your very  
purpose in life requires you to select from 
the growing collection of endless  
phenomena a scattered few which you call 
evil—for unless you do, you cannot call  
yourself, nor anything else, good —and 
thus cannot know, or create, your Self. By that which you call evil do you define 
yourself —and by that which you call good. The biggest evil would therefore be to 
declare nothing evil at all. You exist in this life in the world of the 
relative, where one thing can exist only  insofar as it relates to another. This is at 
one and the same time both  the function  
and the purpose of relationship: to provide 
a field of experience within which you find  
yourself, define yourself, and —if you 
choose —constantly recreate Who You  Are. Choosing to be God -like does not mean 
you choose to be a martyr. And it cert ainly 
does not mean you choose to be a victim. On your way to mastery —when all 
possibility of hurt, damage, and loss is 
eliminated —it would be well to recognize 
hurt, damage, and loss as part of your 
experience,  and decide Who You Are in 
relationship to it . Yes, the things that others think, say, or do 
will sometimes hurt you —until they do  not 
anymore. What will get you from here to there most quickly is total honesty —being 
willing to assert, acknowledge, and declare 
exactly how you feel about a thing. Say 
your truth —kindly, but fully and completely. Live your truth, gently, but totally  and 
consistently. Change your truth easily and 
quickly when your experience brings  you 
new clarity. No one in right mind, least of all God, would 
tell you, when you are hurt in a relationship, 
to “stand aside from it, cause it to mean 
nothing.” If you are now  hurting, it is too late 
to cause it to mean nothing. Your task now 
is to decide what it  does mean —and to 
demonstrate that. For in so doing, you 
choose and become  Who You Seek to Be. So I don’t have to be the long -suffering wife 
or the belittled husband or the victim of my  relationships in order to render them holy, 
or to make me pleasing in the eyes of God ? Good grief, of course not. And I don’t have to put up with attacks on 
my dignity, assaults on my pride, damage 
to my  psyche, and wounds to my heart in 
order to say that I “gave it my best” in a 
relationship; “did  my duty” or “met my 
obligation” in the eyes of God and man ? Not for one minute. Then, pray God, tell m e—what promises 
should I make in relationship; what 
agreements  must I keep? What obligations 
do relationships carry? What guidelines 
should I seek? The answer is the answer you cannot 
hear—for it leaves you without guidelines 
and renders null and void ever y agreement in the moment you make it. The answer is:  
you have no obligation. Neither in 
relationship, nor in all of life. No obligation? No obligation. Nor any restriction or 
limitation, nor any guidelines or rules. Nor 
are you bound by any circumstances or 
situations, nor constrained by any code or 
law. Nor are you punishable for any 
offense, nor capable of any —for there is no 
such  thing as being “offensive” in the eyes 
of God. I’ve heard this before —this “there are no 
rules” kind of religion. That’s spir itual 
anarchy. I  don’t see how that can work. There is no way it cannot work —if you are 
about the business of creating your Self. If, 
on the other hand, you imagine yourself to be about the task of trying to be what  
someone else wants you to be, the 
absenc e of rules or guidelines might indeed  
make things difficult. Yet the thinking mind begs to ask: if God 
has a way She wants me to be, why didn’t  
She simply create me that way to begin 
with? Why all this struggle for me to  
“overcome” who I am in order for me  to 
become what God wants me to be? This  
the probing mind demands to know —and 
rightly so, for it is a proper inquiry. The religionists would have you believe 
that I created you as less than Who I Am so  
that you could have the chance to become 
as Who I Am, working against all odds —
and, I might add, against every natural 
tendency I am supposed to have given you. Among these so -called natural tendencies 
is the tendency to sin. You are taught that  
you were born in sin, that you will die in sin, 
and that to sin is your nature. One of your religions even teaches you that 
you can do nothing about this. Your own  
actions are irrelevant and meaningless. It is 
arrogant to think that by some action of  
yours you can “get to heaven.” There is 
only one way to heaven (salvation) and that  
is through no undertaking of your own, but 
through the grace granted you by God  
through acceptance of His Son as your 
intermediary. Once this is done you are “saved.” Until it 
is done, nothing that you do —not the life  
you live, not the  choices you make, not 
anything you undertake of your own will in  
an effort to improve yourself or render you worthy —has any effect, bears any  
influence. You are incapable of rendering 
yourself worthy, because you are  inherently 
unworthy. You were created that way. Why? God only knows. Perhaps He made 
a mistake. Perhaps He didn’t get it right. Maybe He wishes He could have it all to do 
over again. But there it is. What to do...  
You’re making mock of me. No. You are making mock of Me. You are 
saying that I, God, made inherently  
imperfect beings, then have demanded of 
them to be perfect, or face damnation. You are saying then that, somewhere 
several thousand years into the world’s  
experience, I relented, saying that from 
then on you didn’t necessarily have to be  
good, you simply had to feel bad when you were not being good, and accept as your  
savior the One Being who could always be 
perfect, thus satisfying My hunger for  
perfection. You are saying that My Son —
who you call the One Perfect One —has 
saved you from your own imperfection —
the imperfection I gave you. In other words, God’s Son has saved you 
from what His Father did. This is how you —many of you —say I’ve set 
it up. Now who is mocking whom? That is the second time in this book you 
seem to have launched a frontal attack on  
fundamentalist Christianity. I am surprised. You have chosen the word “attack.” I am 
simply engaging the issue. And the issue,  
by the way, is not “fundamentalist 
Christianity,” as you put it. It is the entire nature of  God, and of God’s relationship to 
man. The question comes up here because we 
were discussing the matter of obligations —
in relationships and in life itself. You cannot believe in an obligation -less 
relationship because you cannot accept  
who and what you rea lly are. You call a life 
of complete freedom “spiritual anarchy.” I  
call it God’s great promise. It is only within the context of this promise 
that God’s great plan can be complete d. 
You have no obligation in relationship. You 
have only opportunity. Opport unity, not obligation, is the 
cornerstone of religion, the basis of all 
spirituality. So long as you see it the other 
way around, you will have missed the point. Relationship —your relationship to all 
things —was created as your perfect tool in 
the work of the soul. That is why all human 
relationships are sacred ground. It is why  
every personal relationship is holy. In this, many churches have it right. Marriage is a sacrament. But not because 
of its  sacred obligations. Rather, because 
of its unequalled oppo rtunity. Never do anything in relationship out of a 
sense of obligation. Do whatever you do  
out of a sense of the glorious opportunity 
your relationship affords you to decide,  and 
to be, Who You Really Are. I can hear that —yet over and over in my 
relations hips I have given up when the 
going gets  tough. The result is that I’ve had 
a string of relationships where I thought, as a kid, that I’d  have only one. I don’t seem 
to know what it’s like to hold onto a 
relationship. Do you think I  will ever learn? What d o I have to do to make it happen? You make it sound as if holding onto a 
relationship means it’s been a success. Try  
not to confuse longevity with a job well 
done. Remember, your job on the planet is  
not to see how long you can stay in 
relationship, it’s t o decide, and experience, 
Who You Really Are. This is not an argument for short -term 
relationships —yet neither is there a  
requirement for long -term ones. Still, while there is no such requirement, 
this much should be said: long -term 
relationships do hold r emarkable 
opportunities for mutual growth, mutual expression,  and mutual fulfillment —and 
that has its own reward. I know, I know! I mean, I’ve always 
suspected that. So how do I get there? First, make sure you get into a relationship 
for the right reasons. (I’m using the word  
“right” here as a relative term. I mean “right” 
relative to the larger purpose you hold in  
your life) . As I have indicated before, most people still 
enter relationships for the “wrong”  
reasons —to end loneliness, fill a gap, bring 
thems elves love, or someone to love —and 
those are some of the better reasons. Others do so to salve their ego, end their  
depressions, improve their sex life, recover 
from a previous relationship, or, believe  it 
or not, to relieve boredom. None of these reasons will work, and 
unless something dramatic changes along 
the way, neither will the relationship. I didn’t enter into my relationships for any 
of those reasons. I would challenge that. I don’t think you 
know why you entered your relationships. I  
don’t think y ou thought about it in this way. I don’t think you entered your  relationships 
purposefully. I think you entered your 
relationships because you “fell in  love.”  
That’s exactly right. And I don’t think you stopped to look at why 
you “fell in love.” What was it to which  you 
were responding? What need, or set of 
needs, was being fulfilled? For most people, love is a response to 
need fulfillment. Everyone has needs. You need this, 
another needs that. You both see in each 
other  a chance for need fulfillment. So you 
agree —tacitly —to a trade. I’ll trade you 
what  I’ve got if you’ll give me what you’ve 
got. It’s a transaction. But you don’t tell the truth 
about it. You don’t say, “I trade you very  
much.” You say, “I love you very much,” and 
then the d isappointment begins. You’ve made this point before. Yes, and you’ve done this thing before —
not once, but several times. Sometimes this book seems to be going in 
circles, making the same points over and 
over again. Sort of like life. Touché. The process he re is that you’re asking the 
questions and I’m merely answering  them. If you ask the same question three different 
ways, I’m obliged to continue  answering it. Maybe I keep hoping You’ll come up with a 
different answer. You take a lot of the 
romance  out of it when I ask You about 
relationships. What’s wrong with falling 
head over heels in  love without having to 
think about it? Nothing. Fall in love with as many people 
as you like that way. But if you’re going to  
form a lifelong relationship with them, you 
may want to add a little thought. On the other hand, if you enjoy going 
through relationships like water —or, worse  
yet, staying in one because you think you “have to,” then living a life of quiet  
desperation —if you enjoy repeating these 
patterns from your pa st, keep right on  doing 
what you’ve been doing. Okay, okay. I get it. Boy, You’re relentless, 
aren’t You? That’s the problem with truth. The truth is 
relentless. It won’t leave you alone. It  keeps 
creeping up on you from every side, 
showing you what’s real ly so. That can  be 
annoying. Okay. So I want to find the tools for a long -
term relationship —and you say entering  
relationships purposefully is one of them. Yes. Be sure you and your mate agree on 
purpose. If you both agree at a conscious level that 
the pur pose of your relationship is to  create an opportunity, not an obligation —an 
opportunity for growth, for full Self-
expression , for lifting your lives to their 
highest potential, for healing every false  
thought or small idea you ever had about 
you, and for ultimate reunion with God  
through the communion of your two souls —
if you take that vow instead of the vows  
you’ve been taking —the relationship has 
begun on a very good note. It’s gotten off  
on the right foot That’s a very good 
beginning. Still, it’s no  guarantee of success. If you want guarantees in life, then you 
don’t want life. You want rehearsals for a  
script that’s already been written. Life by its nature cannot have guarantees, 
or its whole purpose is thwarted. Okay. Got it. So now I’ve got my 
relationship off to this “very good start.” 
Now, how do I keep  it going? Know and understand that there will be 
challenges and difficult times. Don’t try to  
avoid them. Welcome them. Gratefully. See 
them as grand gifts from God; glorious  
opportunities to do w hat you came into the 
relationship —and life —to do. Try very hard not to see your partner as the 
enemy, or the opposition, during these  
times. In fact, seek to see no one, and nothing, as 
the enemy —or even the problem. Cultivate 
the technique of seeing all problems as 
opportunities. Opportunities to... ...I know, I know —“be, and decide, Who 
You Really Are.”  
Right! You’re getting it! You are getting it! Sounds like a pretty dull life to me. Then you’re setting your sights too low. Broaden the scope of your ho rizons. Extend  the depth of your vision. See more 
in you than you think there is to be seen. See more in your partner, too. You will never disserve your relationship —
nor anyone —by seeing more in another  
than they are showing you. For there is 
more there. Much more. It is only their fear  
that stops them from showing you. If others 
notice that you see them as more, they  will 
feel safe to show you what you obviously 
already see. People tend to live up to our expectations 
of them. Something like that. I don’t like the word 
“expectations” here . Expectations ruin relationships. Let’s say 
that people tend to see in themselves what  
we see in them. The grander our vision, the 
grander their willingness to access and  
display the part of them we have show n 
them. Isn’t that how all truly blessed relationships 
work? Isn’t that part of the healing  
process —the process by which we give 
people permission to “let go” of every false  
thought they’ve ever had about 
themselves? Isn’t that what I am doing here, in thi s book, 
for you? Yes. And that is the work of God. The work of 
the soul is to wake yourself up. The work of  
God is to wake everybody else up. We do this by seeing others as Who They 
Are—by reminding them of Who They Are. This you can do in two ways —by remi nding 
them of Who They Are (very difficult,  
because they will not believe you), and by 
remembering Who You Are (much easier,  
because you do not need their belief, only 
your own). Demonstrating this constantly  
ultimately reminds others of Who They Are, 
for they will see themselves in you. Many Masters have been sent to the Earth 
to demonstrate Eternal Truth. Others,  such 
as John the Baptist, have been sent as 
messengers, telling of the Truth in  glowing terms, speaking of God with unmistakable 
clarity. These special messengers have been 
gifted with extraordinary insight, and the 
very special power to see and receive 
Eternal Truth, plus the ability to 
communicate  complex concepts in ways 
that can and will be understood by the 
masses. You are such a messenger. I am? Yes. Do you believe this? It is such a difficult thing to accept. I mean, 
all of us want to be special...  
...all of you are special...  
...and the ego gets in there —at least with 
me it does, and tries to make us feel somehow  “chosen” for an amazing 
assignment. I have to fight that ego all the 
time, seek to purify and  re-purify my every 
thought, word, and deed so as to keep 
personal aggrandizement out of it. So it’s 
very difficult to hear what you’re saying, 
because I’m aware that it plays to my ego,  
and I’ve spent all my life fighting my ego. I know you have. And sometimes not too successfully. I am chagrined to have to agree. Yet always when it has come to God, you 
have let the ego drop. Many is the night  you 
have begged and pleaded for clarity, 
beseech ed the heavens for insight, not so  
that you could enrich yourself, or heap 
honor upon yourself, but out of the deep  
purity of a simple yearning to know. Yes. And you have promised Me, over and over 
again, that should you be caused to  know, 
you would spend the rest of your life —
every waking moment —sharing  Eternal 
Truth with others...not out of a need to gain 
glory, but out of your heart’s  deepest desire 
to end the pain and suffering of others; to 
bring joy and gladness,  and help and 
healing; to reconnect others with the sense 
of partnership with God  you have always 
experienced. Yes. Yes. And so I have chosen you to be My 
messenger. You, and many others. For 
now, during these times immediately 
ahead, the world will need many trumpets 
to sound  the clarion call. The world will need many voices to speak the words of 
truth and  healing for which millions long. The world will need many hearts joined 
together in  the work of the soul, and 
prepared to do the work of God. Can you honestly claim that you are not 
aware of this? No. Can you honestly deny that this is why you 
came? No. Are you ready then, with this book, to 
decide and to declare your own Eternal 
Truth,  and to announce and articulate the 
glory of Mine? Must I include these last few exchanges in 
the book? You don’t have to do anything. Remember, 
in our relationship you have no  obligation. Only opportunity. Is this not the opportunity 
for which you have waited all  your life? Have you not devoted your Self to this 
mission —and the proper  preparation for 
it—from the earliest moments of youth? Yes. Then do not what you are obliged to do, but 
what you have an opportunity to do. As to placing all this in our book, why would 
you not? Think you that I want you to be  a 
messenger in secret? No, I  suppose not. It takes great courage to announce oneself 
as a man of God. You understand, the  
world will much more readily accept you as 
virtually anything else —but a man of  God? An actual messenger? Every one of My 
messengers has been defiled. Far  from 
gaining glory, they have gained nothing but 
heartache. Are you willing? Does your heart ache to 
tell the truth about Me? Are you willing to  
endure the ridicule of your fellow human 
beings? Are you prepared to give up glory  
on Earth for the greater glory of t he soul 
fully realized? You’re making this all sound suddenly 
pretty heavy, God. You want I should kid you about it? Well, we could just lighten up a little here. Hey, I’m all for enlightenment! Why don’t 
we end this chapter with a joke? Good idea. You got  one? No, but you do. Tell the one about the little 
girl drawing a picture...  
Oh, yes, that one. Okay. Well, a Mommy 
came into the kitchen one day to find her 
little girl at  the table, crayons everywhere, 
deeply concentrating on a freehand picture 
she was creating. “My, what are you so 
busy drawing?” the Mommy asked. “It’s a 
picture of God, Mommy,” the  beautiful girl 
replied, eyes shining. “Oh honey, that’s so 
sweet,” the Mommy said, trying to be  
helpful. “But you know, no one really knows 
what God look s like.”  
“Well,” chirped the little girl, “if you’ll just let 
me finish....”  
That’s a beautiful little joke. Do you know 
what’s most beautiful? The little girl never  doubted that she knew exactly how to draw 
Me! Yes. Now I’ll tell you a story, and with tha t we can 
end this chapter. Alright. There once was a man who suddenly found 
himself spending hours each week  writing 
a book. Day after day he would race to pad 
and pen —sometimes in the  middle of the 
night —to capture each new inspiration. Finally, someone a sked him  what he was 
up to. “Oh,” he replied, “I’m writing down a very 
long conversation I’m having with God.”  “That’s very sweet,” his friend indulged him, 
“but you know, no one really knows for  sure 
what God would say.”  
“Well,” the man grinned, “if you’l l just let me 
finish.”  
  Chapter 9  
You may think this is easy, this “be Who 
You Really Are” business, but it’s the most  
challenging thing you’ll ever do in your life. In fact, you may never get there. Few  
people do. Not in one lifetime. Not in many. So why try? Why enter the fray? Who 
needs it? Why not simply play life as if it 
were what it apparently is anyway —a 
simple exercise in meaninglessness 
leading to nowhere in particular, a game 
you can’t lose no matter how you play; a 
process that leads to the same result, 
ultimately, for everyone? You say there is 
no hell, there is no punishment, there is no 
way to lose, so why bother trying to win? What is the incentive, given how difficult it 
is to get where You say we’re trying to go? Why not take our good -natured time and just relax about all this God -stuff, and 
“being Who You Really Are.”  
My, we are frustrated aren’t we...  
Well, I get tired of trying, trying, trying, only 
to have You come here and tell me how 
hard it’s all going to be, and how only one 
in a million makes it anyway. Yes, I see that you do. Let Me see if I can 
help. First, I would like to point out that  you 
already have taken your “good -natured 
time” about it. Do you think this is your  first 
attempt at this? I have no idea. It doesn’t seem as  if you’ve been here 
before? Sometimes. Well, you have. Many times. How many times? Many times. That’s supposed to encourage me? It’s supposed to inspire you. How so? First, it takes the worry out of it. It brings in 
the “can’t fail” element you just talke d 
about. It assures you that the intention is for 
you not to fail. That you’ll get as many  
chances as you want and need. You can 
come back again and again and again. If  
you do get to the next step, if you evolve to 
the next level, it’s because you want to,  not 
because you have to. You don’t have to do anything! If you enjoy 
life at this level, if you feel this is the  
ultimate for you, you can have this experience over and over and over again! In fact,  you have had it over and over 
again —for exactly that rea son! You love 
the drama. You love the pain. You love the 
“not knowing,” the mystery, the suspense! You love  it all! That’s why you’re here! Are You kidding me? Would I kid you about a thing like that? I don’t know. I don’t know what God kids 
about. Not abo ut this. This is too close to the 
Truth; too close to Ultimate Knowing. I 
never  kid about “how it is.” Too many 
people have played with your mind about 
that I’m not  here to get you more mixed up. I’m here to help you get things clarified. So clarify. You’r e telling me I’m here 
because I want to be? Of course. Yes. I chose to be? Yes. And I’ve made that choice many times? Many. How many? Here we go again. You want an exact 
count? Just give me a ballpark estimate. I mean 
are we talking about handfuls here, or 
dozens? Hundreds. Hundreds? I’ve lived hundreds of lives? Yes. And this is as far as I’ve gotten? This is quite some distance, actually. Oh, it is, is it? Absolutely. Why, in past lives you’ve 
actually killed people. What’s wrong with that? You said yourself 
that sometimes war is necessary to end 
evil. We’re going to have to elaborate on that, 
because I can see that statement being  
used and misused —just as you’re doing 
now—to try to make all sorts of points, or  
rationalize all sorts of insanity.
Conversations_with_God_Book_1_by_Neale_Donald_Walsch.txt
Summarize the following text section accurately and concisely. Maintain specific details and numerical information, and use anti-repetition mechanisms:

        I feel as 
though I’ve been struggling for 20 years 
just to make ends  meet. And I still have 
nothing to show for it. You mean in terms of material wealth. I mean in terms of just some of the basics 
that a man would like to pass on to his 
children. I  mean in terms of some of the 
very simple things a man would like to 
provide for his wife. I see. You see it as your job in life to provide 
all these things. Is that what you  imagine 
your life to be about. I’m not sure I’d state it that way. This is not 
what my life is about, but it sure would be 
nice if  this could be a by -product, at least. Well, let’s go back, then. What do you see 
your life being about. That’s a good question. I’ve had a lot of 
different answers to that through the years. What is your answer now. It feels as though I have two answers to 
that question; the answer I’d like to see, 
and the  answer I’m seeing. What’s the answer you’d like to see. I’d like to see my life being about the 
evolution of my soul. I’d like to see my lif e 
being about  expressing and experiencing 
the part of me I love most. The part of me 
that is compassion  and patience and giving 
and helping. The part of me that is knowing 
and wise, forgiving  and. love. Sounds like you’ve been reading this book. Yes, well it’s a beautiful book, on an 
esoteric level, but I’m trying to figure out 
how to  “practicalize” that. The answer to 
your question that I see being real in my life 
is that it’s  about day -to-day survival. Oh. And you think one thing precludes the 
other. Well. You think esoterics preclude survival. The truth is, I’d like to do more than just 
survive. I’ve been surviving all these years. I notice  I’m still here. But I’d like the 
struggle for survival to end. I see that just 
getting by from day to  day is still a struggle. I’d like to do more than just survive. I’d like 
to prosper. And what would you call prospering. Having enough that I don’t have to worry 
where my next dollar is coming from; not 
having to  stress and strain just to make the 
rent, or handle  the phone bill. I mean, I hate 
to get so  mundane, but we’re talking real 
life here, not the airy -fairy, spiritually 
romanticized picture of  life you draw 
throughout this book. Do I hear a little anger there. Not anger so much as frustration. I’ve been 
at the spiritual game for over 20 years now 
and look where it’s gotten me. One 
paycheck away from the poorhouse. And 
now I’ve just lost  my job, and it looks like 
the cash flow has stopped again. I’m 
getting really tired of the  struggle. I’m 49 
years old, and I’d like to have some security 
in life so that I could devote  more time to 
“God stuff,” to soul “evoluting,” etc. That’s where my heart is, but it’s not where  my life 
allows me to go. Well, you’ve said a mouthful there, and I 
suspect you’re speaking for a whole lot of 
people when you share that experience. I’m going to respond to your truth one 
sentence at a time, so that we can easily 
track, and dissect, the answer. You have not been “at this spiritual game” 
for 20 years, you have been barely skirting 
the edges of it (This is not a “spanking,” by 
the way, this is just a statement of the truth. ) I’ll concede that for two decades you’ve 
been looking at it; flirting with it; 
experimenting now and then. but I haven’t 
felt your true —your truest —commitment to 
the game until just recently. Let’s be clear that “being at the spiritual 
game” means dedicating your whole mind, 
your whole body, your whole soul to the 
process of creating Self in the image and 
likeness of God. This is the process of Self -realization abo ut 
which Eastern mystics have written. It is the 
process of salvation to which much 
Western theology has devoted itself. This is a day -to-day, hour -to-hour, moment -
to-moment act of supreme consciousness. It is a choosing and a re -choosing every 
instant. It  is ongoing  creation. Conscious 
creation. Creation with a purpose. It is 
using the tools of  creation we have 
discussed, and using them with awareness 
and sublime intention. That is “playing this spiritual game. ” Now, 
how long have you been at this. I haven ’t even begun. Don’t go from one extreme to the other, and 
don’t be so hard on yourself. You have  
been dedicated to this process —and 
you’re actually engaged in it more than 
you’ll  give yourself credit for. But you 
haven’t been doing so for 20 years —or 
anything  close to that. Yet the truth is, how 
long you have been engaged in it is not 
important. Are you engaged in it now. That’s all that matters. Let’s move on with your statement. You ask 
us to “look where it’s gotten you,” and  you 
describe yo urself as being “one step away 
from the poorhouse. ” I look at you  and see 
a quite different thing. I see a person who is one step away from the rich  house. You 
feel you are one paycheck from oblivion, 
and I see you as one paycheck  from 
Nirvana. Now much de pends, of course, on 
what you see as your “pay” —and to what 
end you are working. If the object of your life is to acquire what 
you call security, I see and understand  why 
you feel you are “one paycheck from the 
poorhouse. ” Yet even this assessment  is 
open to correction. Because with My pay, 
all good things come to you —including  the 
experience of feeling secure in the physical 
world. My pay —the payoff you get when you 
“work for” Me —provides a great deal more  
than spiritual comfort. Physical comfort, 
too, can be yours. Yet the ironic part about  
all this is that, once you experience the kind of spiritual comfort My payoff provides,  the 
last thing you’ll find yourself worrying about 
is physical comfort. Even the physical comfort of members of 
your family wi ll no longer be a concern to  
you—for once you rise to a level of God 
consciousness you will understand that 
you are not responsible for any other 
human soul, and that while it is 
commendable to  wish every soul to live in 
comfort, each soul must choose —is 
choosing —its own  destiny this instant. Clearly, it is not the highest action to 
deliberately abuse or destroy another. Clearly,  it is equally inappropriate to neglect 
the needs of those you have caused to be  
dependent on you. Your job is to render them inde pendent; to 
teach them as quickly and completely as  
possible how to get along without you. For 
you are no blessing to them so long as  they 
need you to survive but bless them truly 
only in the moment they realize you  are 
unnecessary. In the same sense, God’ s greatest moment 
is the moment you realize you need no  
God. I know, I know. this is the antithesis of 
everything you’ve ever been taught. Yet  
your teachers have told you of an angry 
God, a jealous God, a God who needs to 
be needed. And that is not a God at all, but 
a neurotic substitute for that which would 
be a deity. A true Master is not the one with the most 
students, but one who creates the most  
Masters. A true leader is not the one with the most 
followers, but one who creates the most  
leaders. A true  king is not the one with the most 
subjects, but one who leads the most to  
royalty. A true teacher is not the one with the most 
knowledge, but one who causes the most  
others to have knowledge. And a true God is not One with the most 
servants, but One who s erves the most,  
thereby making Gods of all others. For this is both the goal and the glory of 
God: that His subjects shall be no more,  and that all shall know God not as the 
unattainable, but as the unavoidable. I would that you could this understand: your  
happy destiny is unavoidable. You  cannot 
not be “saved. ” There is no hell except not 
knowing this. So now, as parents, spouses, and loved 
ones, seek not to make of your love a glue  
that binds, but rather a magnet that first 
attracts, then turns around and  repels, lest  
those who are attracted begin to believe 
they must stick to you to survive. Nothing  
could be further from the truth. Nothing 
could be more damaging to another. Let your love propel your beloveds into the 
world —and into the full experience of  who 
they are. In this will you have truly loved. It 
is a great challenge, this path of the  householder. There are many distractions, 
many worldly concerns. The ascetic is  
bothered by none of these. He is brought 
his bread and water, and given his humble  
mat on which to lie, and he can devote his 
every hour to prayer, meditation, and  
contemplation of the divine. How easy to 
see the divine under such circumstances. How simple a task. Ah, but give one a 
spouse, and children. See the divine in a  
baby who needs changing at 3 A. M. See 
the divine in a bill that needs paying by the  
first of the month. Recognize the hand of 
God in the illness that takes a spouse, the  
job that’s lost, the child’s fever, the parent’s 
pain. Now we are talking saintliness. I understand y our fatigue. I know you are 
tired of the struggle. Yet I tell you this:  
When you follow Me, the struggle disappears. Live in your God space and the  
events become blessings, one and all. How can I get to my God space when I’ve 
lost my job, the rent needs paying, the kids 
need a  dentist, and being in my lofty, 
philosophical space seems the least likely 
way to solve any of  this. Do not forsake Me when you need Me 
most. Now is the hour of your greatest  
testing. Now is the time of your greatest 
chance. I t is the chance to prove everything  
that has been written here. When I say “don’t forsake Me,” I sound like 
that needy, neurotic God we talked  about. But I’m not. You can “forsake Me” all you 
want. I don’t care, and it won’t  change a 
thing between us. I me rely say this in 
answer to your questions. It is when  the going gets tough that you so often forget 
Who You Are, and the tools I have  given 
you for creating the life that you would 
choose. Now is the time to go to your God space 
more than ever. First, it w ill bring you great  
peace of mind —and from a peaceful mind 
do great ideas flow —ideas which could  be 
solutions to the biggest problems you 
imagine yourself to have. Second, it is in your God space that you 
Self realize, and that is the purpose —the 
only purp ose—of your soul. When you are in your God space, you know 
and understand that all you are now  
experiencing is temporary. I tell you that 
heaven and Earth shall pass away, but you  shall not. This ever -lasting perspective 
helps you to see things in their pr oper light. You can define these present conditions 
and circumstances as what they truly are:  
temporary and temporal. You may then use 
them as tools —for that is what they are,  
temporary, temporal tools —in the creation 
of present experience. Just who do you  think you are. In 
relationship to the experience called lose -
a-job, who do you think you are. And, 
perhaps more to the point, who do you 
think I am. Do you imagine this is too big a 
problem for Me to solve. Is getting out of 
this jam  too big a miracle for  Me to handle. I understand that you may think it’s too big 
for you to handle, even with all the tools I 
have given you —but do you really think it’s  too big for Me. I know intellectually that no job is too big for 
God. But emotionally I guess I can’t be 
sure. Not  whether You can handle it, but 
whether You will.
Struggling to make ends meet.
What does the speaker feel they have been doing for 20 years?
The evolution of their soul, expressing and experiencing the part of themselves they love most.
What does the speaker say they would like their life to be about?
To create and produce the experience of their highest conceptualization of themselves, not to fulfill their own needs or desires.
What does the speaker believe is the main purpose of relationships?
The speaker believes that the idea of a punitive God is a misconception and that God is not a God who needs to be needed.
What is the speaker's perspective on the concept of a punitive God?
To remember that one has no obligation, and to use the relationship as a tool to create and express their highest potential.
What does the speaker say is the key to a successful relationship?