In familyrelationships it means being detached enough to allow your
relatives to be what they choose to be, and feeling secure enoug h
within yourself not to judge yourself based upon what others
decide to do in their own lives. It means forgetting about any
evaluation that you might make and instead listening and loving
the other family members for what they are, offering advice when
asked, and otherwise sending them unconditional love. In your
parenting relatio nships it means constantly reminding yourse lf
that your children are on their own paths and they are not going to
live their lives the way you decide they should. It means guidin g
them, helping them to become self-reliant, and always letting
them know that you unconditio nally love them, even when they
behave in ways that are self-defeating. Detachment in human relationships does not mean an absence
of caring. It means caring so much that you suspend your own
value judgments about others and relate to them from a position
of love rather than attempting  to control or judge them. The
person who is detached in this sense is one who will avoid all the
unnecessary suffering that most people experience in their
relationships. You send love, decline a victim role, and exhibit an
infinite supply of caring for yourself and your loved ones. And
you are detached metaphysically . Your detachment allows you to
have the “un” in unconditional love. Attachment carries with it a subtle implication that somehow
you must please me in order to be loved by me. When you learn
to let your loved ones be and love them for what they choose to
be regardless of your opinion about what they choose, you are
detached. Once you reach this state of detachment, you will not
want or need to own or control  another human being, especially
those who are in a close relationship with you. Paradoxically , the
less you attempt to own and control someone, the closer you
become. Detachment actually encourages you to grow closer in your
relationships and to intensify your love. You reduce the likelihood
of suffering in your relationships because you have so much
unconditional love for others that your love is going to show even
if they choose to leave you. In learning to become less attache dyou also learn a fundamental truth about loving relationships. Love is for giving, not for taking! This is the true essence of
detachment in all human relationships. 3. Attachment to the past. Learning to be detached from the past
and the traditions that are an important part of many people ’s
lives is one way to eliminate some of the suffering that exists in
our world. Take a look at all of the people who are fighting in
wars around the globe today , and you see them suffering and
dying in the name of tradition. They are taught that what their
ancestors believed is what they must believe. With this logic they
perpetuate the suffering in their own lives and in the lives of their
assigned enemies. Many of these battles between ethnic groups
have been waged for thousands of years. With the kind of
attachment-thinking that is taught within these cultures, the
battles will last forever . The minds of those in such cultures are
not their own. They are living in form only and dying for a
tradition that guarantees enmity and hatred for generations to
come. We participate in attachment to the past when we attempt to
determine for others what their spiritual choices should be, based
on what we were taught to believe. What education we seek, what
vocation we choose, who our friends will be, how we will vote,
what we wear , how we speak, and even how we choose to think
are often determined by attachments to traditions—traditions that
are so overwhelmingly powerful that to ignore them often means
complete ostracism from family or neighbors. “You are a———,”
say your parents . “This is what you were born into, and you have
no choice about it.” Such a sentiment has no place for the
enlightened soul. How is it possible for anyone to grow if you
always do things the way you have always done things? As we
learn about universal principles, we know in our hearts that we
are not our form . Our package may look a certain way and have  a
certain history , but it is by no means who we truly are. It is only
the cover for the real I, which is formless and has no need for
labels determined by the actions of the past.Attachments to the history of your form as representative of
your ancestors and relatives will only cause untold amounts of
suffering. Learning to be detached from traditions often takes a
great deal of courage, and for those who do detach themselve s,
there can be a terrific price to pay. However , the price for
remaining attached is far greater , and paying it creates much more
havoc in your life. The disapproval of those who are addicted to
the histo ry of their particular form is far less costly in the long
run. Anything to which you are attached owns you in a
fundamental way. It is tantamount to tightening the chains and
shackles each day to make certa in that you do not have a mind of
your own. Ralph Waldo Emerson reminded us, “Be not the slave
of your own past—plunge into the sublime seas, dive deep, and
swim far, so you shall come back with self-respect, with new
power , with an advanced experience, that shall explain and
overlook the old.”
Think about that as you consider eliminating suffering in your
life that is related to attachment to the past. We can respect and
even appreciate the past and the ways of our ancestors. We can
love them for having chosen to go their own way. But to be
attached to having to live and think the way others before you did,
because you showed up looking like them in form, is to deny
yourself enlightenment. This is how people and their institutions
have controlled others for thousands of years. Demanding and
instructing children to live only by the established rules can turn
them into unthinking servants of anyone in authority . Attachment
to a past is responsible for giving guns to little boys, turning them
into killers, telling them who their enemies are, and conditioning
them in nonthink conformity . They grow up with the belief that to
be unattached to the past is dishonorable in the eyes of God. It is
easy for us to see this extreme example in other lands, and it is a
lesson for us to be alert to how we cultivate attachment to the
past. 4. Attachment to your form . If you believe that you are only your
body , and as it goes, so go you, then you are inviting a lifetime ofsuffering. Wrinkles, hair loss, weakening vision, and all
indications of physical change will create a sense of suffering in
direct proportion to your attachment to remaining the same. This
attachment to your body can create a life-style of artificiality and
fear that will prevent you from being on your path and involve d
in your destiny . Attachment to your body as the means of fulfillment in this life
results in an endless preoccupation with appearance. It is an
attachment to the packaging that contains you, and it disguises the
knowledge that your body is a temporary form that you are
occupying. Bein g exclusively involved with outer appearan ce
makes it difficult to see that your true essence is a formlessne ss
that resides inside the body . The more you are attached to the
body and how it appears, the less your chances of being able to
stand in back of your form and see the divineness that is truly
you. Addiction to form keeps many from ever considering the
formlessness that makes up the largest part of humanity . Paramahansa Yogananda, writing in The Divine Romance , said it
this way:
The saints say this is how you must treat the body , as a
temporary residence. Don’ t be attached to it or bound
by it. Realize the infinite power of the light, the
immortal consc iousness of the soul, which is behind
this corpse of sensation. I like that phrase “this corpse of sensation.” That is your body ,
a slave to the rules of form, hindered always by the baggage of
pains, aches, bones that crumble, and pimples that break out. But
inside, where you are that form less astral thought, you are pure
and devo id of the obstacles that rule in form. Attachment to your
body is like having an attachment to suffering and being
unwilling to let it go. Detachment from your body does not mean a disregard for the
perfection of your form. In fact, paradoxically , it almost alwaysresults in your taking better care of the covers that house your
soul. I have found that I take much better care of my body ,
maintaining a healthy weight, exercising, getting enough rest,
eating fewer nutritionally empty  foods, since I am less attached to
my appearance. I can now stand back and watch my body go
through its aging mechanisms without feeling that my being, my
Self, is deteriora ting. Since I am less attached to this body I am
not alarmed by any of its infirmities. There consequently seems to
be very little need for them to surface. As a result of this
detachment I have fewer and fewer difficulties with my body. Thus I celebrate  my form and its perfection, and I know that I am
more than this body . I have love and respect for, but am not
identifying with, my physical self. “Being in the world, but not of
it,” as Jesus said. I am in my body, but not of it, and ironicall y it
helps me to be in my body much more effectively than when I
was exclusively of it, only a few short years ago. 5. Attachment to ideas and being right . This is one of the most
difficult attachments to discard. “Being right” could be
considered a terminal “Western disease.” I listen to talk radio for
several hours each day in cities all over North America. It is my
observation that virtually everyo ne who calls to a radio station to
discuss a current topic is attached to his or her idea and to the
notion of making someone else wrong. It seems to be unheard of
for someone to listen to another point of view with an open mind. The callers almost always are quiet and polite for a few momen ts
while the other party is talking , and then ignore everything that
was said and state their own position. Seldom do I hear anyon e
say, “You make a good point. I’ll rethink what I believed before  I
made this call.”
This attachment to being right creates suffering, because it is
almost always a useless device for communicating with other
people. If you cannot communicate effectively , you are going to
suffer in your relationships. People do not want to be told how
they should think, and that they are wrong if they disagree with
you. When people encounter such a stance, they automaticallyshut you out of their consciousness, and a barrier has been
erected. If you are the one being  shut out because of your inability
to listen , it is because you are so attached to what you already
believe that you insist on maki ng everyone who disagrees with
you wrong. Attachments like these make loving relationshi ps
almost impossible to sustain, because boundaries are continual ly
being erected. For every idea that you absol utely know is right, there are
millions of people who believe that you are wrong. This
dichotomy of right versus wrong gets people into a mess of
trouble metaph ysically . When  you encounter someone who
believes something quite different from you, and you try to
explain how wrong he is, all you have done is define yourself. Your position will most likely make him more adamant about his
beliefs. So encounters of this nature almost always end up with
each person more firmly convinced than ever of the rightness of
his position. To be detached you must know that all right-versus-wrong
dichotomies are the invention of people. Right does not exist
independent of man. The univer se simply is the way it is, running
on the principles that we have defined, but still running
independent of our opinion about it. Certainly it is fine to have
strong opinions about anything that you choose, but the mome nt
you become attached to these ideas and thereby define yourse lf
by them , you shut out the possi bility of hearing another point of
view . This attachment to ideas and to making others wrong is the
history of the being called Human Being, and it accounts for
untold wars and misery since the beginning of recorded history . Seldom do people stop and truly  hear what the other person has
to say. Seldom if ever do we change our mind based upon solid
ideas presented by others. And virtually never are we able to hold
two contrary opinions and beliefs in our mind simultaneously . Yet
this is precisely  what is required of you in order to awaken to a
new level of human consciousness: an internal awareness that an
opposite point of view can be held simultaneously with your own,
and no need to make others wrong. This is something highlyenlightened beings speak about. One of America’ s great novelists,
F. Scott Fitzgerald, said:
The test of first-rate intelligenc e is the ability to hold
two opposed ideas in mind at the same time and still
retain the ability to function. One should, for example,
be able to see that things are hopeless and yet be
determined to make them better . This is truly what it means to be able to be detached—to allow
opposite points of view to reside within you at the same time, and
to see the exquisite beauty in such an attitude. 6. Attachment to money . This attachment borders on being a full-
fledged disease in the Western world. It is important to understand
that I am not suggesting a distaste for money . I strongly believe
that having money is a benefit in life, and I have nothing negativ e
to say about money . Money is fine, and working to make mone y
is part and parcel of living in modern times. What I am writin g
about here is an attachment to money such that it becomes the
controlling factor in your life. To be detached from the acqu isition of money is a difficult
undertaking. It is, however , important if you are to feel a strong
sense of authentic choice-making within your life. I have found
that those who are able to do what they love and keep themselves
focused on living that way have the amount of money they need
come into their lives. They seem  to keep that money circulating,
using it to serve others, rather than letting the accumulation of
capital and cost of things be the dominant themes in life. They do
not suffer from the more disease  that is so prevalent in our
culture. To be detached from money means to shift your focus to doing
what you love and what makes you feel purposeful, and to let the
money arrive in your life without being consumed by it.Detachment means an awaren ess that you are not your bank
account. If you feel that you must  have money in order to feel
happy and successful, then you are attached to it. Your need to
have more means that you do not feel whole now, that something
is missing. That something you are calling more money . That
missing part will keep your mind focused on getting what is
missing, rather than being here now, and doing what you love. And, of course, what you think about will expand. Since what you are seeing right now in your life is precisely the
result of what you believe, you may want to change those belie fs
if they do not serve you when it comes to money . Ask yourself:
“Has money brought me the satisfaction I believed it would?” If
the answer is no, and you cannot seem to change those belief s,
then examine what the beliefs are attached to. One way to do this is by center ing and/or meditation. Ask and
trust your inner self to reveal what that belief is. It may not be an
attachment to money at all, and most certainly is not when you
feel dissatisfied  in spite of your money . An analogy would be
believing you are hungry and after eating still feeling the hunger . Believing food is the solution creates an attachment to food that
can never satisfy the hunger . Attachment to food or money in this
type of situation intensifies a foredoomed attempt to fulfill a
yearning. When we are obsessively attached and would prefer not
to be, because it is unsatisfying, it is a signal to examine what that
attachment represents. 7. Attach ment to winning . Winnin g is almost an addictio n in our
culture, and as long as we are attached to the need to win we will
experience some  suffering as a result. Once again it is important
to emph asize I am not against winning. I love to win as much as
anyone, particul arly when I engage in athletic contests. But the
test of awakenin g in this area is the ability to be detached from
the need  to win. When we are attached to winning, it becomes an
obsession, and we suffer when we do not emer ge as the winner . A
great test of character is how we react when we lose. If we play
competitively and our opponent scores more points or “wins,”what have we really lost? Absolutely nothing! We simply went
out and played a game. If we truly know this, we find it easy to
congratulate our opponents and feel just as good for them as we
would have felt had we emer ged victorious. Attachment to
winning makes many many human beings feel like losers. Maintaining that attachment means feeling like a loser a large part
of our lives, since no one can always win. Winning is a judgment. When we buy into it, we are agreeing
to guidelines that other people have decided determine winning
and losing. Seeing it as only the outcome of rules established by
others can be a way of playing the game without being attached to
winning. We can still relish our successful actions and learn from
our not-so-great ones, and simply be in the process of
participating. Winning or losing can be viewed as just one more
rule that we can choose to agree with or not. Attachment to
winning means we are the score  or performance. Suffering results
when we feel like losers. Paradoxically , the more detached we are while actually playing
the game, whatever it is, the greater our likelihood of winnin g.
That is, the less focused we are on winning, the greater our
chance of doing  just that. Read some of the excellent research on
the inner game, the Zen of archery , and the like. Outstanding
performers are not trying to win. Those people are allowing the
action to flow, totally in the moment. Their competition is more
like a meditatio n than a contest. They are in harmony with their
body and mind. Great dancers simply let it happen, trusting instincts and
intuition to allow their forms to flow with the music, and when
they are able to be completely in that inner place of perfe ct
harmony , winning is not even on their minds. The moment great
gymnasts or platform divers think about the score, they are unable
to function in the perfection that their trained bodies are capab le
of. Winning becomes next to impossible. This is another parado x. If we think about winning and are attached to it, we lower our
ability to function at the level that winning demands. An attachment to winning almost always goes hand in hand
with a need to fight our opponents. The language of competitionis simila r to that of warfare. Fight team fight. Beat them back. Stomp them, crush them, annihilate them, blitz them, kill them . When we have our minds focused on winning at all costs, our
performance level deteriorates. We become tense and nervous,
and ultimately defeat ourselves. Why? Because fighting weaken s,
while harmony strengthens and empowers. When we are at
harmony within, our bodies perform at the highest level. When
we are tense within, we perform at a lower level. This is the
essence of detachment in the game of winning. Stop making it
important. Perm it yourself just to be, enjoying fully what you are
doing in harmony with body and spirit, and your detachment will
lead you to the highest levels you have ever reached. Examine each of the above attachments carefully and see if they apply to
you. Remember , it is possible to love things within each one of these
categories and still be detached from them. Practice letting go, and allowing
it all to circulate in a network of harmony and inner peace. As we transcend
attachments we learn to shift our consciousness to networking and giving
power away , and we discover the metaphysical luxury of living peacefully
and productively . NETWORKING: A HELPFUL  MEANS TO DET ACHMENT
 
Most of us are familiar with organizational flow charts. Such a chart starts
at the top with the chief executive officer, then spreads out one level lower
to a series of vice presidents, then down farther to middle management,
then to lower -level managers, and finally to clerks, secretaries, and other
support personn el. Persons entering an organization with such a flow chart
generally plan to inch their way up the ladder . At each level they acquire a
bit more power and prestige, until they reach the pinnacle where they will
have the supreme authority and all of the trappings of success that go with
such a position. This is the way educational, religious, governmental, and charitable
groups and even  many families are organized. The powerful person is at the
top, collects as much power and authority as is possible within the
organization, and delegates that authority down through the flow chart. This
is the model most of us have been trained to respect. Such an organizationof people is called a bureaucracy . It is the least efficient way to get things
done. A less-kn own but far more effective system is called networking. I
espouse this system because I believe it contributes to a more awakened and
enlightened society . A netwo rk is the exact opposite of a bureaucracy . In a bureau cracy the
purpose is to collect power and distribute it down through a flow chart of
underlings. In a network the purpose is to give power away . It works like
this: Think of a huge telephone network with no central source of power ,
but instead with every single terminal connected to the next terminal and on
and on endlessly . The commun ications network has as its purpose to give
service to the next terminal, and it then passes the services along to the
next. No one in the network is interested in amassing power , but only in
passing it along. Human beings can work this way as well. Rather than being obsessed
with gathering influence and seeing how many people we can control, we
shift our objective to giving away our knowledge and acquisitions to the
next person, and then to the next, and so on. If networking had a flow chart,
it would  be horizontal rather than vertical. It means sending out into the
system what we have and what we know , and having it return to recirculate
continually through the network . It means giving things away without any
expectations. Again, the paradox surfaces. Giving and being unattached to
that act will increase the flow in your life. I find networking to be the most effective way to get the word out about
anything that I want to share. I have sent a copy of one of my books, Gifts
from Eykis, to everyone who has written to me over the years, simply as a
gift, with no expectations attached. Moreover , I have sent it out to
thousands of people in all walks of life simply as my way of circulating the
ideas that I so strongly believe in. The sales  of Gifts from Eykis  have
increased since I began giving  it away ! The more I give away , the more
people buy, and the more my mail overflows with the return of those
thoughts and ideas from Eykis,  elaborated and discussed by readers who
keep the book circulating in a network of affirmative  response. Additionally , I have received over one thousand books and tapes from
people all over the world in response to my sending them a book! A movie
is going to be made based on Eykis, and the book continues to grow in
popularity . That old saying “What goes around, comes around” is my
working principle.A networker finds it easy to give a great deal more than is expected, and
understands that the way to feel successful and enlightened is to surprise
others by giving them more than they expected. Networkers never try to
accumulate power; they circulate all that they have, and encourage others to
do the same. Many businesses are starting to network. The essence of the recent trend,
described in the fastest-selling  business books, is to develop  a win/win
approach; to forget about your own quotas; to focus exclusiv ely on how
best to serve the customers. Growing numbers of employees and employers
are discovering  that reintroducing exceptional service into their
organizations and reconnecting to a spiritual side of themselve s and others
are a pleasanter  and more successful way of doing business . When the
organization begins to function at this level, the networking principle of
detachment creates an environment in which the customer and the members
of the or ganization are all in a winning situation. From allowing yourself to simply flow, to examining your attachments,
and finally to networking. This entire universal principle of detachment is
troublesome for those of us reared in the part of the world that prefers to
count the trees rather than to contemplate the forest. It is important
therefore to look openly at any resistance you may have to developing a
more peaceful, detached view . WHY  YOU MA Y RESIST  DET ACHMENT
 
Below are the most common reasons why many people in our Western
culture find it dif ficult to be detached. Detachment means to trust the universe to provide for us as we travel
our path of enlightenment. We have not been encouraged to make this
kind of commitment to a metaph ysical principle. We were taught to get
as much as possible, hold on to it before the other guy takes it away ,
and always scramble for more. Examine whether you want the controls
of your inner life to be based on people, things, and events external to
yourself. Consider how it would feel to have self-determination for
your inner life.We work  hard at a given profes sion, climb the ladder of succes s, deny
ourselves for a majority of our years, and hope for a future rewa rd. We
believe that suffering in some capacity is what we must do. We have
never had a course in applie d metaphysics in all of our formal
schooling. Our educational experiences center around what we know
rather than how we feel. I suggest that you diligently examin e what
you believe about being successful. Is it really wealth accumulation,
ownership, profi ts? You may want to abandon some entrenched beliefs
to make detachment a workable philosophy of life. Many people conclude that detachment means not having anything and
consequently having to sacrifice  all that they have worked for up until
now. In short, giving up the good life. But detachment means freeing
yourself from needing  attachm ents. It does not mean sacrifice. Success
as an inner process cannot be measured by accumulations. When you
use external acquisitions to measure your inner worth, it is impossible
to feel detache d from them. You can incorporate the principle of
detachment in your life and continue to enjoy all the abundance that
you choose. The idea of being detached from loved ones may trouble you. You may
feel that it is promoting a noncaring, indifferent attitud e. But
detachment as applied to loving relationships means quite the opposite. It means  loving people deeply and unconditionally for what they are,
without judgment when they choose to be what they want to be. With
children, detachment does not mean allowing them to follow their
instincts and disregard their responsibilities. Children are happier
human beings when they have  learned how to include respe ct and
responsibility in their lives. But they learn this from adult behavior that
demonstrates respect and responsibility . An attitude of detachment will
prevent children from manipulating parents into emotional slaves to
their conduct. Attachment, not detachment, will victimize you and
contribute to a breakdown in your relationships. You may be thinking of detach ment as an absence of convicti on and
purpose, and feel that one needs  to get out there and rattle some  cagesin order  to survive. I suggest, in response to this misunderstanding,
that those who experience a great deal of success are those who know
how to flow with life rather than fight it. They experience inner peace
rather than inner turmoil. Flowing rather than fighting is a sure way to
avoid a stressful  approach to life in which you are always struggling to
row upstream. If your resistance to the detachment principle is strong, if you find it
difficult to comprehend, I suggest you nonjudgmentally and lovingly
embrace how you feel. Do not try to force yourself to feel what does not
feel right to you. Do not feel that you are judged by yourself or others. This
unconditional love for yourself will always lead you in your right direction. You are on your path. Believe it, and you will see it! IMPLEMENTING DET ACHMENT  IN YOUR LIFE
 
Detachment involves a kind of surrender to the force or intelligence that is
behind all form, including your own. Once you completely trust in this
energy that makes all form work perfectly , you begin to slow  down and
work in harmony with this intelligence. The word “surrender” is a good one
to keep  in mind. It reminds  us to stop the fighting that creates a
battleground of life. With surrender , we relax into the natural intelligence
and flow of life and can ignore  the impulse to be attached to things and
people, as they wind in and out of our lives. Here are some ideas to help you with the surrendering process—ideas
that will make you stronger , since fighting and attachments weaken you and
you gather strength when you flow unimpeded. Flow with what you encounter rather than being inwardly critical. Learn a new way of processing or thinking about everything that you
encounter . For instance, rather than judging the way the driver ahead
of you is behaving, send a loving thought and practice believing that
what you are encountering is exactly the way it is supposed to be. Detach yourself  from the idea that a slow driver is somehow wrongand that you are right to be upset. Set aside an hour to flow with
everyone that you meet. Allow everyone to be who and what he or she
is without your being attached to an idea that that someone should be
different. Do the same thing while watching the news on television. Do
not pretend to love what you despise, but see if you can let the news
flow through your awareness without being hooked by compulsive
judgment. Detachment will give you a sense of peace about what you
hear and see. You will discover the simple yet elusive truth that the
world is working exactly as it is supposed to. Your attachment to how
you think it is supposed to be working only makes you a victim. Try replacing some of your competition with cooperation. Rath er than
viewing yoursel f as in compet ition with anyone, try viewing others
from a universal  perspective. See them as a part of Human Bein g. See
yourself as someone who functi ons much more effectively and happily
when you do not have to defeat anyone in order to feel good  about
yourself. Remem ber that when you need to defeat another in order to
feel total, that other person contr ols your life. Compete athletically and
in business if you choose to, but cooperate at the same time by
detaching yourself from the eventual outcome. This loosening-up
process is detachment in action. Let every single move you make in a
competitive encounter be something unique unto itself, something to
enjoy and live fully in that moment. Remember that if you are
concentrated on what the eventu al outcome will be, your attachm ent to
winning will paradoxically make  it less likely that you emer ge with the
better score. Detachment works by seeing yourself in cooperation with
all of humanity , including your adversaries. Detachment from needing
to win frees you up to flow with every single moment needed  in the
competitive process. Enlightenment is not in whether you win. It is in
seeing yourself as fully human when you do not win and treating
others respectfully whether you have won or lost. Keep things circulating in your life. If you have not used somet hing in
the past year, regardless of how attached to it you are, pass it along. You have used up its usefulness to you. By circulating it to someone
who will be able to use it now, you ensure that this process continues. Go through your garage and discard as much of your “thens” as youcan bear to right now. Remind yourself that it is impossible to run out
of “nows,” so you do not need to store away those “thens ” as a
safeguard. Keep  everything circulating. Letting go of attachments is a
rewarding way to feel positive about yourself, and to keep things
flowing back into your own life as well. It works—it really does—but
you will see it only when you believe it. Talk to yourself  about your attitude toward ownership. How can you
own a watch, a diamond, a house, or anything? The best you can get is
a temporary lease to enjoy them. Ownership is impossible. Your
pleasure is a result of your think ing, not of your possessions. An object
is just that. Your pleasure in and enjoyment of it come from how you
choose to think about it. Close your eyes. Now the object is gone from
your consciousness. Has your happiness and success disappeared as
well? Things  flow in and out of our lives just as frequently as we open and
close our eyes. The less stuff you need to convince yourself of your
happiness, the higher your consciousness, and the less potential you
harbor for any suffering. If you attach yourself to all of those
possessions you can be assured that you will experience a great deal of
suffering as those things wear away or begin to disappear from your
life. Remind yourself that everything that serves you today—your
home, your automobile, your jewelry—will someday soon be serving
others. Work each day at simply allowing loved ones to be, without any
attachments on your part. The more you detach yourself from any
ownership conduct toward loved ones, the closer you will become to
those people. With your love partner , practice celebrating the
differences between you. Let your partner make mistakes without a
long lecture from you. Respond to your partner from a sense of
integrity , rather than judgment. Help people if they ask, guide them if they need assurance, but do
not be upset because they decide to do things you find foolish or
distasteful. Rem ind yourself that you made mistakes along the way. Run your own life at your own pace on the path that you have chosen,but do not expect anyone else to be where you are. This is the essence
of detachment. Examine the traditions that you practice and live in your daily life. If
they serve you, and you enjoy them, then by all means honor  them. But remember that an attachmen t to a tradition often involves creating
barriers between  peoples, and shutting out those who are not a part of
the tradition. Be in command of your conduct rather than letting the
past behavior of others dictate your way of being. If you feel that you
“must” behave the way your ancestors dictated, then you are attached
to that tradition , and you are not living an enlightened life. Be free
enough inside, where you really live, to conduct the affairs of your life
without attachments to how it was done before you. Certainly ,
celebrate the traditions that serve you and all of mankind. But if they
do not serve you, or if they contribute to barriers rather than bridges to
others, then have the courage  to trust your own inner demands. Remember that all traditions started with some human beings deciding
on them at some  time. You are as valuable a human being as those who
lived here befor e you. You too have the right to start traditions which
are loving and respectful of everyone. Practice looking  in the mirror and lovingly acknowledge the signs that
indicate your form is aging. Say out loud, “Go ahead and do anything
you have to do— you are the package that holds me. I am not only this
body .” It is important to understand that you are not only your body . You cannot age thoughts. You cannot age spirit. You cann ot kill
thoughts. You cannot kill highe r consciousness. This will help you to
detach yourself from your body and get on with accomplishi ng the
mission that you put yourself here for in the first place. To be attached  to your physic al appearance is to ensure a lifetime of
suffering as you watch your form go through the motions that began
the mom ent of your conception. How can you keep a hair from
graying, a wrinkle from appearing, a limb from growing to its exact
perfect length? The death of your form is also set in that moment of
conception. But the higher -consciousness part of you, the part that
thinks, the place where you do all of your living, is impervious to these
rules of form. Knowing this, you can forget about having to have abody that is eternally youthful. Instead, put your own thinking energy
into the divinen ess that is you. You can stop the worry and posturing
and go past that form. You can take good care of your form and still be detached—detached
in the sense of not identify ing yourself exclusively with your
packaging. The irony will again  appear . Your body will be better taken
care of when you concentrate  less on it, and more on being an
awakened person. Set some time aside each day specifically to practice not making other
people wrong. Instead of attacking when you find yourself in
disagreement, try saying something like “Tell me more—that’ s a point
of view I’ve never considered before.” Your detachment from the need
to be right will defuse suffering and antagonisms and help you to
create a more peaceful inner life. You already know that most people
are not going to have the same opinion. By detaching yourself from the
need to disagree , you open up the lines of communication, end your
frustration at the people who disagree with you, and find yourse lf more
in balan ce. It can be done without much of a struggle. Simpl y open
yourself up by offering others your comments and thoughts, rather
than jumping down their throats with your opinions and your
attachment to proving them wrong. Read the following without any attachment to making me wrong. Ready? “Money will come to you in sufficient amount to take care of
your needs only when you stop needing more of it. The more you give
away without any expectations , the more you will receive back.” I
know this is a radical notion, but it has worked for me. When I gave up
my attachment to money , stopp ed putting a price tag on everything I
encountered, and continued doing what I loved doing, I found money
arriving in my life in unbelievably lar ge amounts. Stop yourself from thinking about money a few moments at a time. Think instead of the exquisitely  beautiful things in life that no amount
of money could buy. Detach yourself from the need to acquire and
hoard money . Give it away freely in whatever measure you find
appropriate. Take the price tag off your life and all that you see and do.Enjoy things simply for the beauty they offer, rather than for the
bargains they provide. Remind yourself that the best way to win is to not need to. Your best
performances are accomplished  when you are relaxed and free inside. Take this kind of pressure off your children and other loved ones, as
well. Allow them to do and enjoy , rather than evaluating them on the
basis of who they defeat. You can detach yourself from this insidious
need and find yourself a much happier person each day . Get into the networking habit. Send out to others as gifts what you
would like to share. Do this without any expectations that they have to
thank you. The more you link yourself to others in a networking
fashion, the more they too will pass on the message. The more you
give to others all that you find valuable, the more you contri bute to
harmony in the world. Your sense of purpose will intensify as well as
your satisfaction. The voiceless people of our world, those who are not a part of any
huge bureaucracy , have a powerful tool in networking. Connecting
yourself to one other person who will spread the word to another is a
monumentally effective way to make a difference in the world. When
you give something away , anything at all, the recipient is somehow
charged with the energy of your giving act, and he or she wants to do
the same . While the communications channels appear to be invisible,
the impact is nevertheless empo wering. Give it a try the next time you
are inclined to want to go with your old bureaucratic training. Rather
than seeing another person as an impediment to your own aspir ations,
see him as an ally. Give him what you were trying to accumulate for
yourself. Detach yourself from the need to accumulate influence and
power , and see that individual as someone who is his own center of
power , who will pass it along  to another and so on in an infinite
network of powerful influence. This, then, is detachment—perhaps the most misunderstoo d universal
principle in our culture. Try looking at it from a metaphorical point of view .Imagine yourself listening to a symphony and telling yourself that it is
impossible to enjoy any of the musical notes until you have heard all of
them. As the symphony nears completion, you realize that this music is not
a completed picture that you can own. It is one note and then another
flowing through  your senses. Each note flows and you experie nce it in its
relationship to the other notes and instruments, throughout the symphony . This is the princ iple of detachment in action as it operates in your daily life. You can never get the entire thing into a neat package that you own. Never! You can only let it flow throug h you, enjoying it in the moment, and then
experiencing the next. No ownership, no control—only enjoying without
any attachment to a belief that it should be otherwise. Music is an energy that flows through you with each and every note, one
at a time. You cannot wait until all of the notes are completed  before you
enjoy it. The energy of the music flows outward and through you, and the
moment you have an attachment to it in any way, you lose it. One note at a
time, in this “onesong” that is our universe. No attachment to any of it, only
the endless flowing of it all. Every attachment keeps you from enjoying the
flow that life is. It is a lot like trying to grab that handful of water . Remember that the
tighter you squeeze, the less chance there is of having water to experience. But when you relax, allowing your hand simply to enter the wate r, the water
is there for you to enjoy as long as you wish. Release attachme nts, in favor
of allow ing it all to flow, just as the music flows one note at a time out from
the instruments through you, and just as the water flows always available
for you to enjoy , as long as you remain detached. OceanofPDF .comSYNCHRONICITY
 
The universe is complete and perfect. There can be no mistakes. Nothing is random. The entire “onesong” is exquisite ly
synchronized. To understand synchronicity and to implement it, we are required to
suspend some of our old ideas , to give up our notion of coincidence, of
mistakes, our belief that peopl e are imperfect. The principle that every
single event and every single person is connected seems almost too much to
accept. Most of us would rather hang on to the “principle of randomness”
and “error.” We seldom consider that everything within our perfectly
operating universe may also be operating perfectly . It appears easier to
believe that unexplainable coincidences occur for no reason. The term “synch ronicity” was first used by Carl Jung. He spent his life
attempting to unravel the mysterious threads that seem to wind together in a
pattern that is impossible for us, in form, to decipher . He described
synchronicity as “the simultaneous occurrence of two meaningfully but not
causally connected events.” He hypothesized that a collaboration exists
between people  and events that seems somehow to involve fate, and is
always operating in the universe. The basics of belief in synchronicity are that every single life has a
purpose and a deeper meaning than we are generally aware of. Behind all
form is an intelligence that is exquisitely perfect, and that works in a
synchronized fashion. Everything happens for a purpose, and the puzzle
pieces of life fit together perfectly . When you trust and know these
thoughts, you will daily recogni ze evidence for your belief in synchronicity . I am convinced  that this pheno menon is omnipresent in my life and that
there are no accidents of any kind. Carl Jung went on to say:
At the very moment when we are struggling to sustain a sense of
personal autonomy we are also caught up in vital forces that are
much larger than ourselves so that while we may be theprotagonists of our own lives, we are the extras or spear carrie rs
in some lar ger drama…. Or, as we have explored, there is only one dream, God’ s dream, and we are
all chara cters in it, similar to the characters that we create for our individual
dreams. SYNCHRONICITY  IN ALL  OUR LIVES
 
For the past several years I have asked my lecture audiences, “How many
of you have had the experience of thinking about someone and then
receiving a letter or phone call from that person the same day he or she
appeared in your thoughts?” And “Have any of you run into someone you
had not thought of in years, just after his or her name happened  to come up
in conversation?” Every hand in the audience usually goes up. Synchonicity , or the connection between seemingly random events and
thoughts, seems  to be a universal human experience. It happens to all of us
quite regularly , and it tends to repeat itself in a series of appealingly
unexplainable happenings. The fact is that the more we loosen up and allow
ourselves to flow in the energy system of the universe, the more we
experience this phenomenon. Ultimately we cease being surprised by these
happenstances and recognize them as part of the mysterious perfection of
our existence. I would bet that you have had the experience of absolutely knowing who
was calling on the phone before  you answered it. I am sure that you have
had what has been labeled a déjà vu experie nce, wherein you knew that you
had been in that very moment and lived that exact situation previously . I
would also wager that you have found yourself doing something that you
had never done before and were unable to explain why you were doing it
until later when you could look back and clearly see the reason. Let me give
you an example of one such situation in my life. Some years ago my publisher offered me a sizable advan ce for a
nonfiction book that would be a follow-up to Your Erroneous Zones  and
Pulling Your Own Strings . I thought about the possible content of my new
book for months, and frankly I was stuck as to what avenue to pursue. One
day I was sittin g by the ocean thinking about what to write when I felt a
strong urge to get up, get dressed, and get into my car. It was totallyuncharacteristic of me to want to leave the tranquillity of the beach at that
time of the day to get in my car and drive unnecessarily . Yet I drove,
without thinking  about where I was headed, and after thirty minutes or so I
found myself parking at the Pompano Fashion Mall. I was baffled by my
behavior . I generally avoid shopping malls and would never consider
spending a beautiful sunny afternoon at one. I walked directly to the bookstore and immediately went to the section on
psychology . One book was sticking out from the others, about to fall from
the crowded shelf. I pulled that book out, glanced through it, and went to
the checkout counter and purchased it. I drove home, walked back to my
beach spot, and read the book from cover to cover . And I knew precisely what I had to write about. I outlined the book
which later became The Sky’s the Limit  in a matter of a few hours. My
subject was self-actualization, or what I called no-limit living. I felt a clear
sense of being able to make this area of human psychology more
understandable and available to the average person. I knew that what I must
write about was how to become a person who lives life at the very highest
levels, and how to cultivate a sense of purpose and meaning. It was clear to
me after that strange experience of being propelled to read a new book. The book that practically fell into my hands was Abraham H. Maslow’ s
The Farther Reaches of Human Natur e. His earlier writings had been a
powerful influen ce on me, but this book was the impetus for my writing
The Sky’s the Limit . When I was stuck, a seemin gly coincidental force
guided me exactly where I needed to go. And so I dedicated The Sky’s the
Limit  to Dr. Maslow . I feel a special kind of mission to carry on his work
and make his ideas on mankind’ s potential greatness available to more
people. I am sure you can recall similar kinds of eerie happenings in your life,
where you did something totally out of character , and suddenl y saw, very
clearly , why. How can we even  begin to explain such things? How did the
card get inside the seatbelt buckle that led me to my father ’s grave? How
can a thought suddenly connect you to someone or something that seems so
unconnected? The word “connectedness” is vital to understanding the
principle of synchronicity . In some mysterious, undefinable way, everything
seems to be connected, even though we cannot see the connections. In some
strange way, the right person or the right series of events crops up just in
time to help us over the thresh old of some troubling problem. Once weunderstand that everything is connected in some way, even though we
cannot see the connectors, this universal principle of synchronicity becomes
more believable, and ultimately more available to us. There is a rhythm  to the univers e. When we are able to get quiet enough,
we experience how we are a part of that perfect rhythm. I keep coming back
to the concept of perfection, because for many , there is such a strong belief
in imperfection. I believe our world cannot be anything other than perfect. The precise amount of energy required to heat and sustain our planet comes
from the sun, without burning up its own energy source. The earth rotates
perfectly on its axis without being in danger of falling off. The entire
universe has an intelligence supporting it, which I call God, and you can
call anything that you like. The salmon swimming upstream back to their
spawning site is mysteriously perfect. The swallows show up on the same
day century after century . The spider knows how to build his web without
going to web school. The instincts for making the entire onesong work
perfectly are built in by an intelligence which permeates all form. And we
know very little about how any of it works. Yet it is all connected in some
way, from generation to generati on, throughout all species, and into infinity . If we can begin  to grasp this process of connectedness even in a tiny way,
we will also begin to understand ever so slightly the principle of
synchronicity , to start to believe in this phenomenal intelligence that
supports all life so perfectly . In order to see that there are connectors in the universe that we cannot
always see with our eyes and hold in our hands, let me take you on a brief
excursion of “connectedness.”
 
THE EASIEST  CONNECT ORS TO BELIEVE IN
 
Obviously , the easiest things for us to believe in are those that we can see. Hence the notion “I’ll believe it when I see it” permeates our linear , form-
only culture. If you see a child pulling a toy with a long string, you have
very little difficulty in seeing and believing in the connection between that
moving toy and the child’ s actions. There is the string—I see the
connection! When something is connected, and we can see, hear, touch,
taste, or smell that connection, we have no difficulty in believing in its
connectedness. Thus, when we put gasoline in a car, and start the engine
and begin to burn the fuel, we see the connection between our actions andour ability to move about via an automobile. We are not in a state of
confusion or disbelief about how automobiles move from one point to
another . So the easiest connectors that make things hang togeth er are those
that you see with your own eyes, those that allow you to say to yourself, “I
see how that works, and I believe it.”
 
MORE DIFFICUL T CONNECTIONS: FORM TO HIDDEN
FORM
 
When you turn on the light from a wall switch, you cannot see the
connection betw een that switch and the room suddenly alive with light, but
you know that a connection exists, know the connectors are hidden inside
the walls. We do not have to see the connectors, we simply have to believe
that they are present, even though they are hidden, and we then have a
knowing about  how this process works. This category of “hidden
connectors” is a bit more difficult to comprehend, but not terribly so, since
we place  tremen dous faith in the fact that the connectors are still in form. Even though they are out of view , we can find them if we really want to. EVEN MORE DIFFICUL T CONNECTIONS: FORM TO
INVISIBLE FORM
 
You are sitting in your living room watching a television program. Rather
than getting up to change the channel, you take in your hand the remote
control, which is in no way conn ected to the television set. You press one of
its butto ns, and the channel changes. The television set is responding to
some sort of invisible signal. How does this work? You cannot see any
connectors. You cannot smell or hear anything. You can even place a piece
of paper in front of the remote control and the connection still exists. What
is going on here? This category of connectors is something that all of us have grown
accustomed to. We buy our children toy automobiles which run by remote
control. A left turn for the toy car twenty feet away is accomplished by
pressing a left-turn button. Something travels through the air and instructs
the car to turn left. No wires, no strings, no visible connections, and yet we
believe in these connectors, even though most of us know almost nothing
about how they work. We believe that invisible signals fly through the airbecause that is what we are told, yet we have never seen those signals. So
now we are becoming more aware that a connection betwe en any two
objects does not require form,  as we perceive it with our senses, to be
present. We believe in and live with, connections that defy our senses. We
believe in them, and they work. After a few years of living with these kinds
of connectors, we even begin to take them for granted, despite the fact that
they are a complete mystery to us. INVISIBLE CONNECTIONS: HUMAN FORM TO HUMAN
FORM
 
The next time someone is talking to you across a room and you are
listening, stop and ask yourself, “How is this happening? That person is ten
feet away , moving his mouth, there is nothing but air between us, and yet I
instantaneously hear and process everything that he is saying. How can this
be?” When you stop to consi der this everyday , ordinary occurrence, it
becomes mind-bending. Invisible things called sound waves travel between
a mouth and an ear, and you are able to process it all with your brain. Where are the connectors? I see his mouth moving. Is he sending them out
of his mouth? I do not try to make my ears pick up these invisible signals,
yet they appear to do just that. We unquestioningly believe in a whole
classification of connections between people that our rational mind simply
cannot fathom. We know that these invisible waves connect us from one person to
another , or even from an object such as a radio, or a door slamming, to a
person. We do not bother to make an attempt to figure it all out. We simply
accept a principl e called “sound” as something that exists, something that is
part and parcel of our humanity . We never say, “It simply cannot be. If I
cannot see it and touch it, then it must not exist.” Our belief in this principle
allows us to function as human beings. There are invisible connectors
between people, and you participate in them every day . OUR OWN CONNECTIONS: OUR THOUGHT  TO OUR FORM
 
You are dancing with your partner, effortlessly gliding acros s the dance
floor . Your feet are doing exactly what they are supposed to do. There is
some kind of mysterious connection that exists between your thoughts andthe neuromuscul ar activity of your feet. Why do your feet move perfectly in
response to a thought which tells them to move? What is the connection? How can this be? Every single time you move the limbs and appendages of your form, they
are responding to a thought. But a thought is invisible and formless, and
that form lessness is somehow commanding those actions. You cannot see
the connection. You cannot explain it. But nevertheless, the fact that you
scratch your nose, or walk to the kitchen, or move your head, or move
toward a fly ball hit from a baseball bat and put your gloved hand up to
catch it, or make any other of the myriad movements that you engage in
every day, gives evidence that invisible connectors exist which allow you to
move about ef fortlessly in your everyday life. Mental energy directs muscular energy. Mental energy is thought. Therefore thought is some kind of a connection between a desire and a
physical outcom e. You believe very strongly in this connection even though
you cannot explain it. You accept this automatic stimulus response
connection as a way of life. You believe in it. You function within it. You
never question whether such a connection exists, for millions of daily
movements give you absolute proof that there is a connection between the
formless and the world of form. Keep this in mind as we move into the final
areas where those connections exist. INCOMPREHENSIBLE CONNECTIONS: HUMAN THOUGHT
TO ANOTHER HUMAN FORM
 
My wife is sittin g in one part of the house and our baby is in another part of
the hous e, out of hearing range. My wife suddenly says to me, “The baby is
crying—will you go check on him?” Sure enough, he is crying ; yet it was
impossible for her to have heard the sound. Every mother who reads these
words will nod her head in agree ment, knowing that an invisible connection
does exist between her thoughts and the actions of her baby . We have now gone beyond the comprehensible. There can be a
connection between the though t of one person and the actions of another ,
without the benefit of any of the five senses. We all know that such an
invisible connection can exist. My wife will be ten miles away from the
baby and say to me, “We have to go home now—the baby is ready to eat.” I
say, “How can you know that he is hungry? Do you just know his schedulethat well?” She responds, “My milk just came in, and it alway s comes in
when it is time for him to eat.” What is this connection betwe en her body
and that of an infant ten miles away? Her body knows precisely when to
produce the milk based upon the thought of hunger in her infant, and it
works perfectly every time. The connection is invisible, but it is definitely
there for us to observe. If such an invisi ble connection can exist between a baby and mother, can
it be tapped and utilized between any two humans? Can we refine this
relationship between our thoughts and the world of someone else’ s form? While I was giving a speech recently , in Sacramento, California, a father
in the audience  was holding his baby , who started crying. The father
became nervous  and upset about disturbing the rest of the audience and
started walking  out, obviously still trying to hear my presentation. I
suggested that he relax about his own discomfort and communicate that
serenity to his infant. He smiled at me from the audience, relieved that I
was not going to judge him for having his baby there, and he noticeably
relaxed. The baby stopped fussing and for the next three hours never made a
peep. There was an invisible connection between his thoug hts and the
baby’ s behavior—a connection which defies description. YOUR OWN CONNECTIONS: THOUGHT  TO THOUGHT
 
We do not even know what one thought is, and yet we all know  and believe
that a thought exists and that a connection also exists between any one
thought and another thought. For example, I sit here writing, thinking about
what I am going  to write. That thought leads me to another thought that I
should probably say it this way or that way. Then I have another thought
that allows my fingers to type out what those previously connected thoughts
led me to. We can sit quietly and have any thought, since we are the source of
thoughts. Then we can have another thought based upon that first thought,
and perhaps even ten more thoughts, until we then decide to put them into
the world of form, or just to for get them. It is not the thought process that I am addressing. It is the existence of
connections  betwee n thoug hts. Connections most assuredly exist between
two form less things called thoughts within you, the being that you are in
this mom ent. If you can accept that these connectors exist, you are ready forthe next level. If you are not ready , then I want to hear from you! Tell me
how can there not be connect ions between thoughts, when one thought
leads to another? SYNCHRONICITY : HUMAN THOUGHT  TO OTHER HUMAN
THOUGHT
 
This is what I have been leading up to. Of course, the connectors are
hidden, just as they have been in all of the categories except for the first
one. Yet you believe in the existence of all the other connections. So now,
try to open up your heart and let in the fact that maybe, just maybe, this
invisible connec tion also exists in our universe, and that once you start to
believe in it, you will see it surfacing everywhere. The evidence, while
hidden to your senses, will show up and overwhelm you if you believe it. Let’s see how they show up in your life and mine. THE FORMLESS CONNECTIONS BETWEEN HUMAN
BEINGS
 
Imagine a container the size of a grapefruit, with a lid for the top. Now try
to make an educ ated guess about how many pennies you could store in this
container . You might come up with a guess in the neighborhood of three
hundred pennies. If I were to ask you, “How many thoughts could you store
in this container with the lid tightly sealed to avoid spillover?” you would
probably answer , “How can you store thoughts in a container? Thoughts are
formless and dimensionless. You cannot store something without physical
specifications or boundaries in a container .”
Now ask yourself, “What is memory?” Eventually you have to conclude
that memory is nothing more than thoughts. So where are those
dimensionless thoughts stored, in order for us to recall them as we do? Many people truly believe that memory is stored in the brain, yet the brain
is a container about the size of a grapefruit. It is form. Can you store
thoughts, which  are formless, in a container which is form? Of course not. So what is memory and where is it if it is not stored in the brain? Hang on
and we will speculate about this. Now let me ask you another question that I often hear: “Where do we go
when we die?” Most people try to come up with some kind of place that fitsinto their “form only” orientation. But I believe that most of what we are is
outside the rules of form. And so my response to the question is another:
“Where do all of those characters that were there with you in your dream go
when you awaken?”
Form has a place; you can store it. Nonform (thought) does not require a
place, since it is dimensionless. Thought is infinite and so is impossible for
us to comprehend from a positio n of form only. Experiencing our universal
spirituality requires entering another dimension of being, where beginnings,
endings, and storage places are unnecessary . Many religions speak of God creating heaven and earth in the beginning. When asked, “When did God begin?” they respond, “God always was.”
That answer is acceptable to most of us, and we cease speculating on
beginnings and endings. What is it that you think of when you think of this
infiniteness that most people call God? That is the formless, no-beginning-
and-no-end, always existing dimension that I speak of throughout this
book? It matters not what you call it. What matters is to let in the notion of
the dimension in which you reside for the two-thirds of your life that you
are awake. Thought, to me, is a part of that transcendent dimension. There are many labels for that formless dimension: spirituality , higher
consciousness, inner wisdom, enlightenment, altered states of
consciousness, and so on. I call it thought, because we are all a part of it,
and it is a part of all of us. Here in the universally recognized human
activity of thought is a place to begin to comprehend the formless
dimension. In some Eastern traditions, this higher dimension is called the Tao, which
translates to “the unfolding.” It has been said that “the Tao that is described
is not the Tao.” This is because form, in words, whether spoken or written,
describes  the experience. What we experience  with our sense s is quite a
different thing. The description differs from the experience in the dimension
of thought. But in order to write about it one uses words to make it as
available as is possible. Otherw ise, this book would be a series of blank
pages. Now if we were as enlightened as we might like to be, that would
suffice!
_OceanofPDF.com_Youll_See_it_When_You_Believe_It_-_Wayne_Dyer.txt
Summarize the following text section accurately and concisely. Maintain specific details and numerical information, and use anti-repetition mechanisms:

        In familyrelationships it means being detached enough to allow your
relatives to be what they choose to be, and feeling secure enoug h
within yourself not to judge yourself based upon what others
decide to do in their own lives. It means forgetting about any
evaluation that you might make and instead listening and loving
the other family members for what they are, offering advice when
asked, and otherwise sending them unconditional love. In your
parenting relatio nships it means constantly reminding yourse lf
that your children are on their own paths and they are not going to
live their lives the way you decide they should. It means guidin g
them, helping them to become self-reliant, and always letting
them know that you unconditio nally love them, even when they
behave in ways that are self-defeating. Detachment in human relationships does not mean an absence
of caring. It means caring so much that you suspend your own
value judgments about others and relate to them from a position
of love rather than attempting  to control or judge them. The
person who is detached in this sense is one who will avoid all the
unnecessary suffering that most people experience in their
relationships. You send love, decline a victim role, and exhibit an
infinite supply of caring for yourself and your loved ones. And
you are detached metaphysically. Your detachment allows you to
have the “un” in unconditional love. Attachment carries with it a subtle implication that somehow
you must please me in order to be loved by me. When you learn
to let your loved ones be and love them for what they choose to
be regardless of your opinion about what they choose, you are
detached. Once you reach this state of detachment, you will not
want or need to own or control  another human being, especially
those who are in a close relationship with you. Paradoxically, the
less you attempt to own and control someone, the closer you
become. Detachment actually encourages you to grow closer in your
relationships and to intensify your love. You reduce the likelihood
of suffering in your relationships because you have so much
unconditional love for others that your love is going to show even
if they choose to leave you. In learning to become less attache dyou also learn a fundamental truth about loving relationships. Love is for giving, not for taking. This is the true essence of
detachment in all human relationships. 3. Attachment to the past. Learning to be detached from the past
and the traditions that are an important part of many people ’s
lives is one way to eliminate some of the suffering that exists in
our world. Take a look at all of the people who are fighting in
wars around the globe today, and you see them suffering and
dying in the name of tradition. They are taught that what their
ancestors believed is what they must believe. With this logic they
perpetuate the suffering in their own lives and in the lives of their
assigned enemies. Many of these battles between ethnic groups
have been waged for thousands of years. With the kind of
attachment-thinking that is taught within these cultures, the
battles will last forever. The minds of those in such cultures are
not their own. They are living in form only and dying for a
tradition that guarantees enmity and hatred for generations to
come. We participate in attachment to the past when we attempt to
determine for others what their spiritual choices should be, based
on what we were taught to believe. What education we seek, what
vocation we choose, who our friends will be, how we will vote,
what we wear, how we speak, and even how we choose to think
are often determined by attachments to traditions—traditions that
are so overwhelmingly powerful that to ignore them often means
complete ostracism from family or neighbors. “You are a———,”
say your parents. “This is what you were born into, and you have
no choice about it. ” Such a sentiment has no place for the
enlightened soul. How is it possible for anyone to grow if you
always do things the way you have always done things. As we
learn about universal principles, we know in our hearts that we
are not our form. Our package may look a certain way and have  a
certain history, but it is by no means who we truly are. It is only
the cover for the real I, which is formless and has no need for
labels determined by the actions of the past. Attachments to the history of your form as representative of
your ancestors and relatives will only cause untold amounts of
suffering. Learning to be detached from traditions often takes a
great deal of courage, and for those who do detach themselve s,
there can be a terrific price to pay. However, the price for
remaining attached is far greater, and paying it creates much more
havoc in your life. The disapproval of those who are addicted to
the histo ry of their particular form is far less costly in the long
run. Anything to which you are attached owns you in a
fundamental way. It is tantamount to tightening the chains and
shackles each day to make certa in that you do not have a mind of
your own. Ralph Waldo Emerson reminded us, “Be not the slave
of your own past—plunge into the sublime seas, dive deep, and
swim far, so you shall come back with self-respect, with new
power, with an advanced experience, that shall explain and
overlook the old. ”
Think about that as you consider eliminating suffering in your
life that is related to attachment to the past. We can respect and
even appreciate the past and the ways of our ancestors. We can
love them for having chosen to go their own way. But to be
attached to having to live and think the way others before you did,
because you showed up looking like them in form, is to deny
yourself enlightenment. This is how people and their institutions
have controlled others for thousands of years. Demanding and
instructing children to live only by the established rules can turn
them into unthinking servants of anyone in authority. Attachment
to a past is responsible for giving guns to little boys, turning them
into killers, telling them who their enemies are, and conditioning
them in nonthink conformity. They grow up with the belief that to
be unattached to the past is dishonorable in the eyes of God. It is
easy for us to see this extreme example in other lands, and it is a
lesson for us to be alert to how we cultivate attachment to the
past. 4. Attachment to your form. If you believe that you are only your
body, and as it goes, so go you, then you are inviting a lifetime ofsuffering. Wrinkles, hair loss, weakening vision, and all
indications of physical change will create a sense of suffering in
direct proportion to your attachment to remaining the same. This
attachment to your body can create a life-style of artificiality and
fear that will prevent you from being on your path and involve d
in your destiny. Attachment to your body as the means of fulfillment in this life
results in an endless preoccupation with appearance. It is an
attachment to the packaging that contains you, and it disguises the
knowledge that your body is a temporary form that you are
occupying. Bein g exclusively involved with outer appearan ce
makes it difficult to see that your true essence is a formlessne ss
that resides inside the body. The more you are attached to the
body and how it appears, the less your chances of being able to
stand in back of your form and see the divineness that is truly
you. Addiction to form keeps many from ever considering the
formlessness that makes up the largest part of humanity. Paramahansa Yogananda, writing in The Divine Romance, said it
this way:
The saints say this is how you must treat the body, as a
temporary residence. Don’ t be attached to it or bound
by it. Realize the infinite power of the light, the
immortal consc iousness of the soul, which is behind
this corpse of sensation. I like that phrase “this corpse of sensation. ” That is your body,
a slave to the rules of form, hindered always by the baggage of
pains, aches, bones that crumble, and pimples that break out. But
inside, where you are that form less astral thought, you are pure
and devo id of the obstacles that rule in form. Attachment to your
body is like having an attachment to suffering and being
unwilling to let it go. Detachment from your body does not mean a disregard for the
perfection of your form. In fact, paradoxically, it almost alwaysresults in your taking better care of the covers that house your
soul. I have found that I take much better care of my body,
maintaining a healthy weight, exercising, getting enough rest,
eating fewer nutritionally empty  foods, since I am less attached to
my appearance. I can now stand back and watch my body go
through its aging mechanisms without feeling that my being, my
Self, is deteriora ting. Since I am less attached to this body I am
not alarmed by any of its infirmities. There consequently seems to
be very little need for them to surface. As a result of this
detachment I have fewer and fewer difficulties with my body. Thus I celebrate  my form and its perfection, and I know that I am
more than this body. I have love and respect for, but am not
identifying with, my physical self. “Being in the world, but not of
it,” as Jesus said. I am in my body, but not of it, and ironicall y it
helps me to be in my body much more effectively than when I
was exclusively of it, only a few short years ago. 5. Attachment to ideas and being right. This is one of the most
difficult attachments to discard. “Being right” could be
considered a terminal “Western disease. ” I listen to talk radio for
several hours each day in cities all over North America. It is my
observation that virtually everyo ne who calls to a radio station to
discuss a current topic is attached to his or her idea and to the
notion of making someone else wrong. It seems to be unheard of
for someone to listen to another point of view with an open mind. The callers almost always are quiet and polite for a few momen ts
while the other party is talking, and then ignore everything that
was said and state their own position. Seldom do I hear anyon e
say, “You make a good point. I’ll rethink what I believed before  I
made this call. ”
This attachment to being right creates suffering, because it is
almost always a useless device for communicating with other
people. If you cannot communicate effectively, you are going to
suffer in your relationships. People do not want to be told how
they should think, and that they are wrong if they disagree with
you. When people encounter such a stance, they automaticallyshut you out of their consciousness, and a barrier has been
erected. If you are the one being  shut out because of your inability
to listen, it is because you are so attached to what you already
believe that you insist on maki ng everyone who disagrees with
you wrong. Attachments like these make loving relationshi ps
almost impossible to sustain, because boundaries are continual ly
being erected. For every idea that you absol utely know is right, there are
millions of people who believe that you are wrong. This
dichotomy of right versus wrong gets people into a mess of
trouble metaph ysically. When  you encounter someone who
believes something quite different from you, and you try to
explain how wrong he is, all you have done is define yourself. Your position will most likely make him more adamant about his
beliefs. So encounters of this nature almost always end up with
each person more firmly convinced than ever of the rightness of
his position. To be detached you must know that all right-versus-wrong
dichotomies are the invention of people. Right does not exist
independent of man. The univer se simply is the way it is, running
on the principles that we have defined, but still running
independent of our opinion about it. Certainly it is fine to have
strong opinions about anything that you choose, but the mome nt
you become attached to these ideas and thereby define yourse lf
by them, you shut out the possi bility of hearing another point of
view. This attachment to ideas and to making others wrong is the
history of the being called Human Being, and it accounts for
untold wars and misery since the beginning of recorded history. Seldom do people stop and truly  hear what the other person has
to say. Seldom if ever do we change our mind based upon solid
ideas presented by others. And virtually never are we able to hold
two contrary opinions and beliefs in our mind simultaneously. Yet
this is precisely  what is required of you in order to awaken to a
new level of human consciousness: an internal awareness that an
opposite point of view can be held simultaneously with your own,
and no need to make others wrong. This is something highlyenlightened beings speak about. One of America’ s great novelists,
F. Scott Fitzgerald, said:
The test of first-rate intelligenc e is the ability to hold
two opposed ideas in mind at the same time and still
retain the ability to function. One should, for example,
be able to see that things are hopeless and yet be
determined to make them better. This is truly what it means to be able to be detached—to allow
opposite points of view to reside within you at the same time, and
to see the exquisite beauty in such an attitude. 6. Attachment to money. This attachment borders on being a full-
fledged disease in the Western world. It is important to understand
that I am not suggesting a distaste for money. I strongly believe
that having money is a benefit in life, and I have nothing negativ e
to say about money. Money is fine, and working to make mone y
is part and parcel of living in modern times. What I am writin g
about here is an attachment to money such that it becomes the
controlling factor in your life. To be detached from the acqu isition of money is a difficult
undertaking. It is, however, important if you are to feel a strong
sense of authentic choice-making within your life. I have found
that those who are able to do what they love and keep themselves
focused on living that way have the amount of money they need
come into their lives. They seem  to keep that money circulating,
using it to serve others, rather than letting the accumulation of
capital and cost of things be the dominant themes in life. They do
not suffer from the more disease  that is so prevalent in our
culture. To be detached from money means to shift your focus to doing
what you love and what makes you feel purposeful, and to let the
money arrive in your life without being consumed by it. Detachment means an awaren ess that you are not your bank
account. If you feel that you must  have money in order to feel
happy and successful, then you are attached to it. Your need to
have more means that you do not feel whole now, that something
is missing. That something you are calling more money. That
missing part will keep your mind focused on getting what is
missing, rather than being here now, and doing what you love. And, of course, what you think about will expand. Since what you are seeing right now in your life is precisely the
result of what you believe, you may want to change those belie fs
if they do not serve you when it comes to money. Ask yourself:
“Has money brought me the satisfaction I believed it would. ” If
the answer is no, and you cannot seem to change those belief s,
then examine what the beliefs are attached to. One way to do this is by center ing and/or meditation. Ask and
trust your inner self to reveal what that belief is. It may not be an
attachment to money at all, and most certainly is not when you
feel dissatisfied  in spite of your money. An analogy would be
believing you are hungry and after eating still feeling the hunger. Believing food is the solution creates an attachment to food that
can never satisfy the hunger. Attachment to food or money in this
type of situation intensifies a foredoomed attempt to fulfill a
yearning. When we are obsessively attached and would prefer not
to be, because it is unsatisfying, it is a signal to examine what that
attachment represents. 7. Attach ment to winning. Winnin g is almost an addictio n in our
culture, and as long as we are attached to the need to win we will
experience some  suffering as a result. Once again it is important
to emph asize I am not against winning. I love to win as much as
anyone, particul arly when I engage in athletic contests. But the
test of awakenin g in this area is the ability to be detached from
the need  to win. When we are attached to winning, it becomes an
obsession, and we suffer when we do not emer ge as the winner. A
great test of character is how we react when we lose. If we play
competitively and our opponent scores more points or “wins,”what have we really lost. Absolutely nothing. We simply went
out and played a game. If we truly know this, we find it easy to
congratulate our opponents and feel just as good for them as we
would have felt had we emer ged victorious. Attachment to
winning makes many many human beings feel like losers. Maintaining that attachment means feeling like a loser a large part
of our lives, since no one can always win. Winning is a judgment. When we buy into it, we are agreeing
to guidelines that other people have decided determine winning
and losing. Seeing it as only the outcome of rules established by
others can be a way of playing the game without being attached to
winning. We can still relish our successful actions and learn from
our not-so-great ones, and simply be in the process of
participating. Winning or losing can be viewed as just one more
rule that we can choose to agree with or not. Attachment to
winning means we are the score  or performance. Suffering results
when we feel like losers. Paradoxically, the more detached we are while actually playing
the game, whatever it is, the greater our likelihood of winnin g. That is, the less focused we are on winning, the greater our
chance of doing  just that. Read some of the excellent research on
the inner game, the Zen of archery, and the like. Outstanding
performers are not trying to win. Those people are allowing the
action to flow, totally in the moment. Their competition is more
like a meditatio n than a contest. They are in harmony with their
body and mind. Great dancers simply let it happen, trusting instincts and
intuition to allow their forms to flow with the music, and when
they are able to be completely in that inner place of perfe ct
harmony, winning is not even on their minds. The moment great
gymnasts or platform divers think about the score, they are unable
to function in the perfection that their trained bodies are capab le
of. Winning becomes next to impossible. This is another parado x. If we think about winning and are attached to it, we lower our
ability to function at the level that winning demands. An attachment to winning almost always goes hand in hand
with a need to fight our opponents. The language of competitionis simila r to that of warfare. Fight team fight. Beat them back. Stomp them, crush them, annihilate them, blitz them, kill them. When we have our minds focused on winning at all costs, our
performance level deteriorates. We become tense and nervous,
and ultimately defeat ourselves. Why. Because fighting weaken s,
while harmony strengthens and empowers. When we are at
harmony within, our bodies perform at the highest level. When
we are tense within, we perform at a lower level. This is the
essence of detachment in the game of winning. Stop making it
important. Perm it yourself just to be, enjoying fully what you are
doing in harmony with body and spirit, and your detachment will
lead you to the highest levels you have ever reached. Examine each of the above attachments carefully and see if they apply to
you. Remember, it is possible to love things within each one of these
categories and still be detached from them. Practice letting go, and allowing
it all to circulate in a network of harmony and inner peace. As we transcend
attachments we learn to shift our consciousness to networking and giving
power away, and we discover the metaphysical luxury of living peacefully
and productively. NETWORKING: A HELPFUL  MEANS TO DET ACHMENT
 
Most of us are familiar with organizational flow charts. Such a chart starts
at the top with the chief executive officer, then spreads out one level lower
to a series of vice presidents, then down farther to middle management,
then to lower -level managers, and finally to clerks, secretaries, and other
support personn el. Persons entering an organization with such a flow chart
generally plan to inch their way up the ladder. At each level they acquire a
bit more power and prestige, until they reach the pinnacle where they will
have the supreme authority and all of the trappings of success that go with
such a position. This is the way educational, religious, governmental, and charitable
groups and even  many families are organized. The powerful person is at the
top, collects as much power and authority as is possible within the
organization, and delegates that authority down through the flow chart. This
is the model most of us have been trained to respect. Such an organizationof people is called a bureaucracy. It is the least efficient way to get things
done. A less-kn own but far more effective system is called networking. I
espouse this system because I believe it contributes to a more awakened and
enlightened society. A netwo rk is the exact opposite of a bureaucracy. In a bureau cracy the
purpose is to collect power and distribute it down through a flow chart of
underlings. In a network the purpose is to give power away. It works like
this: Think of a huge telephone network with no central source of power,
but instead with every single terminal connected to the next terminal and on
and on endlessly. The commun ications network has as its purpose to give
service to the next terminal, and it then passes the services along to the
next. No one in the network is interested in amassing power, but only in
passing it along. Human beings can work this way as well. Rather than being obsessed
with gathering influence and seeing how many people we can control, we
shift our objective to giving away our knowledge and acquisitions to the
next person, and then to the next, and so on. If networking had a flow chart,
it would  be horizontal rather than vertical. It means sending out into the
system what we have and what we know, and having it return to recirculate
continually through the network. It means giving things away without any
expectations. Again, the paradox surfaces. Giving and being unattached to
that act will increase the flow in your life. I find networking to be the most effective way to get the word out about
anything that I want to share. I have sent a copy of one of my books, Gifts
from Eykis, to everyone who has written to me over the years, simply as a
gift, with no expectations attached. Moreover, I have sent it out to
thousands of people in all walks of life simply as my way of circulating the
ideas that I so strongly believe in. The sales  of Gifts from Eykis  have
increased since I began giving  it away. The more I give away, the more
people buy, and the more my mail overflows with the return of those
thoughts and ideas from Eykis,  elaborated and discussed by readers who
keep the book circulating in a network of affirmative  response. Additionally, I have received over one thousand books and tapes from
people all over the world in response to my sending them a book. A movie
is going to be made based on Eykis, and the book continues to grow in
popularity. That old saying “What goes around, comes around” is my
working principle. A networker finds it easy to give a great deal more than is expected, and
understands that the way to feel successful and enlightened is to surprise
others by giving them more than they expected. Networkers never try to
accumulate power; they circulate all that they have, and encourage others to
do the same. Many businesses are starting to network. The essence of the recent trend,
described in the fastest-selling  business books, is to develop  a win/win
approach; to forget about your own quotas; to focus exclusiv ely on how
best to serve the customers. Growing numbers of employees and employers
are discovering  that reintroducing exceptional service into their
organizations and reconnecting to a spiritual side of themselve s and others
are a pleasanter  and more successful way of doing business. When the
organization begins to function at this level, the networking principle of
detachment creates an environment in which the customer and the members
of the or ganization are all in a winning situation. From allowing yourself to simply flow, to examining your attachments,
and finally to networking. This entire universal principle of detachment is
troublesome for those of us reared in the part of the world that prefers to
count the trees rather than to contemplate the forest. It is important
therefore to look openly at any resistance you may have to developing a
more peaceful, detached view. WHY  YOU MA Y RESIST  DET ACHMENT
 
Below are the most common reasons why many people in our Western
culture find it dif ficult to be detached. Detachment means to trust the universe to provide for us as we travel
our path of enlightenment. We have not been encouraged to make this
kind of commitment to a metaph ysical principle. We were taught to get
as much as possible, hold on to it before the other guy takes it away,
and always scramble for more. Examine whether you want the controls
of your inner life to be based on people, things, and events external to
yourself. Consider how it would feel to have self-determination for
your inner life. We work  hard at a given profes sion, climb the ladder of succes s, deny
ourselves for a majority of our years, and hope for a future rewa rd. We
believe that suffering in some capacity is what we must do. We have
never had a course in applie d metaphysics in all of our formal
schooling. Our educational experiences center around what we know
rather than how we feel. I suggest that you diligently examin e what
you believe about being successful. Is it really wealth accumulation,
ownership, profi ts. You may want to abandon some entrenched beliefs
to make detachment a workable philosophy of life. Many people conclude that detachment means not having anything and
consequently having to sacrifice  all that they have worked for up until
now. In short, giving up the good life. But detachment means freeing
yourself from needing  attachm ents. It does not mean sacrifice. Success
as an inner process cannot be measured by accumulations. When you
use external acquisitions to measure your inner worth, it is impossible
to feel detache d from them. You can incorporate the principle of
detachment in your life and continue to enjoy all the abundance that
you choose. The idea of being detached from loved ones may trouble you. You may
feel that it is promoting a noncaring, indifferent attitud e. But
detachment as applied to loving relationships means quite the opposite. It means  loving people deeply and unconditionally for what they are,
without judgment when they choose to be what they want to be. With
children, detachment does not mean allowing them to follow their
instincts and disregard their responsibilities. Children are happier
human beings when they have  learned how to include respe ct and
responsibility in their lives. But they learn this from adult behavior that
demonstrates respect and responsibility. An attitude of detachment will
prevent children from manipulating parents into emotional slaves to
their conduct. Attachment, not detachment, will victimize you and
contribute to a breakdown in your relationships. You may be thinking of detach ment as an absence of convicti on and
purpose, and feel that one needs  to get out there and rattle some  cagesin order  to survive. I suggest, in response to this misunderstanding,
that those who experience a great deal of success are those who know
how to flow with life rather than fight it. They experience inner peace
rather than inner turmoil. Flowing rather than fighting is a sure way to
avoid a stressful  approach to life in which you are always struggling to
row upstream. If your resistance to the detachment principle is strong, if you find it
difficult to comprehend, I suggest you nonjudgmentally and lovingly
embrace how you feel. Do not try to force yourself to feel what does not
feel right to you. Do not feel that you are judged by yourself or others. This
unconditional love for yourself will always lead you in your right direction. You are on your path. Believe it, and you will see it. IMPLEMENTING DET ACHMENT  IN YOUR LIFE
 
Detachment involves a kind of surrender to the force or intelligence that is
behind all form, including your own. Once you completely trust in this
energy that makes all form work perfectly, you begin to slow  down and
work in harmony with this intelligence. The word “surrender” is a good one
to keep  in mind. It reminds  us to stop the fighting that creates a
battleground of life. With surrender, we relax into the natural intelligence
and flow of life and can ignore  the impulse to be attached to things and
people, as they wind in and out of our lives. Here are some ideas to help you with the surrendering process—ideas
that will make you stronger, since fighting and attachments weaken you and
you gather strength when you flow unimpeded. Flow with what you encounter rather than being inwardly critical. Learn a new way of processing or thinking about everything that you
encounter. For instance, rather than judging the way the driver ahead
of you is behaving, send a loving thought and practice believing that
what you are encountering is exactly the way it is supposed to be. Detach yourself  from the idea that a slow driver is somehow wrongand that you are right to be upset. Set aside an hour to flow with
everyone that you meet. Allow everyone to be who and what he or she
is without your being attached to an idea that that someone should be
different. Do the same thing while watching the news on television. Do
not pretend to love what you despise, but see if you can let the news
flow through your awareness without being hooked by compulsive
judgment. Detachment will give you a sense of peace about what you
hear and see. You will discover the simple yet elusive truth that the
world is working exactly as it is supposed to. Your attachment to how
you think it is supposed to be working only makes you a victim. Try replacing some of your competition with cooperation. Rath er than
viewing yoursel f as in compet ition with anyone, try viewing others
from a universal  perspective. See them as a part of Human Bein g. See
yourself as someone who functi ons much more effectively and happily
when you do not have to defeat anyone in order to feel good  about
yourself. Remem ber that when you need to defeat another in order to
feel total, that other person contr ols your life. Compete athletically and
in business if you choose to, but cooperate at the same time by
detaching yourself from the eventual outcome. This loosening-up
process is detachment in action. Let every single move you make in a
competitive encounter be something unique unto itself, something to
enjoy and live fully in that moment. Remember that if you are
concentrated on what the eventu al outcome will be, your attachm ent to
winning will paradoxically make  it less likely that you emer ge with the
better score. Detachment works by seeing yourself in cooperation with
all of humanity, including your adversaries. Detachment from needing
to win frees you up to flow with every single moment needed  in the
competitive process. Enlightenment is not in whether you win. It is in
seeing yourself as fully human when you do not win and treating
others respectfully whether you have won or lost. Keep things circulating in your life. If you have not used somet hing in
the past year, regardless of how attached to it you are, pass it along. You have used up its usefulness to you. By circulating it to someone
who will be able to use it now, you ensure that this process continues. Go through your garage and discard as much of your “thens” as youcan bear to right now. Remind yourself that it is impossible to run out
of “nows,” so you do not need to store away those “thens ” as a
safeguard. Keep  everything circulating. Letting go of attachments is a
rewarding way to feel positive about yourself, and to keep things
flowing back into your own life as well. It works—it really does—but
you will see it only when you believe it. Talk to yourself  about your attitude toward ownership. How can you
own a watch, a diamond, a house, or anything. The best you can get is
a temporary lease to enjoy them. Ownership is impossible. Your
pleasure is a result of your think ing, not of your possessions. An object
is just that. Your pleasure in and enjoyment of it come from how you
choose to think about it. Close your eyes. Now the object is gone from
your consciousness. Has your happiness and success disappeared as
well. Things  flow in and out of our lives just as frequently as we open and
close our eyes. The less stuff you need to convince yourself of your
happiness, the higher your consciousness, and the less potential you
harbor for any suffering. If you attach yourself to all of those
possessions you can be assured that you will experience a great deal of
suffering as those things wear away or begin to disappear from your
life. Remind yourself that everything that serves you today—your
home, your automobile, your jewelry—will someday soon be serving
others. Work each day at simply allowing loved ones to be, without any
attachments on your part. The more you detach yourself from any
ownership conduct toward loved ones, the closer you will become to
those people. With your love partner, practice celebrating the
differences between you. Let your partner make mistakes without a
long lecture from you. Respond to your partner from a sense of
integrity, rather than judgment. Help people if they ask, guide them if they need assurance, but do
not be upset because they decide to do things you find foolish or
distasteful. Rem ind yourself that you made mistakes along the way. Run your own life at your own pace on the path that you have chosen,but do not expect anyone else to be where you are. This is the essence
of detachment. Examine the traditions that you practice and live in your daily life. If
they serve you, and you enjoy them, then by all means honor  them. But remember that an attachmen t to a tradition often involves creating
barriers between  peoples, and shutting out those who are not a part of
the tradition. Be in command of your conduct rather than letting the
past behavior of others dictate your way of being. If you feel that you
“must” behave the way your ancestors dictated, then you are attached
to that tradition, and you are not living an enlightened life. Be free
enough inside, where you really live, to conduct the affairs of your life
without attachments to how it was done before you. Certainly,
celebrate the traditions that serve you and all of mankind. But if they
do not serve you, or if they contribute to barriers rather than bridges to
others, then have the courage  to trust your own inner demands. Remember that all traditions started with some human beings deciding
on them at some  time. You are as valuable a human being as those who
lived here befor e you. You too have the right to start traditions which
are loving and respectful of everyone. Practice looking  in the mirror and lovingly acknowledge the signs that
indicate your form is aging. Say out loud, “Go ahead and do anything
you have to do— you are the package that holds me. I am not only this
body. ” It is important to understand that you are not only your body. You cannot age thoughts. You cannot age spirit. You cann ot kill
thoughts. You cannot kill highe r consciousness. This will help you to
detach yourself from your body and get on with accomplishi ng the
mission that you put yourself here for in the first place. To be attached  to your physic al appearance is to ensure a lifetime of
suffering as you watch your form go through the motions that began
the mom ent of your conception. How can you keep a hair from
graying, a wrinkle from appearing, a limb from growing to its exact
perfect length. The death of your form is also set in that moment of
conception. But the higher -consciousness part of you, the part that
thinks, the place where you do all of your living, is impervious to these
rules of form. Knowing this, you can forget about having to have abody that is eternally youthful. Instead, put your own thinking energy
into the divinen ess that is you. You can stop the worry and posturing
and go past that form. You can take good care of your form and still be detached—detached
in the sense of not identify ing yourself exclusively with your
packaging. The irony will again  appear. Your body will be better taken
care of when you concentrate  less on it, and more on being an
awakened person. Set some time aside each day specifically to practice not making other
people wrong. Instead of attacking when you find yourself in
disagreement, try saying something like “Tell me more—that’ s a point
of view I’ve never considered before. ” Your detachment from the need
to be right will defuse suffering and antagonisms and help you to
create a more peaceful inner life. You already know that most people
are not going to have the same opinion. By detaching yourself from the
need to disagree, you open up the lines of communication, end your
frustration at the people who disagree with you, and find yourse lf more
in balan ce. It can be done without much of a struggle. Simpl y open
yourself up by offering others your comments and thoughts, rather
than jumping down their throats with your opinions and your
attachment to proving them wrong. Read the following without any attachment to making me wrong. Ready. “Money will come to you in sufficient amount to take care of
your needs only when you stop needing more of it. The more you give
away without any expectations, the more you will receive back. ” I
know this is a radical notion, but it has worked for me. When I gave up
my attachment to money, stopp ed putting a price tag on everything I
encountered, and continued doing what I loved doing, I found money
arriving in my life in unbelievably lar ge amounts. Stop yourself from thinking about money a few moments at a time. Think instead of the exquisitely  beautiful things in life that no amount
of money could buy. Detach yourself from the need to acquire and
hoard money. Give it away freely in whatever measure you find
appropriate. Take the price tag off your life and all that you see and do. Enjoy things simply for the beauty they offer, rather than for the
bargains they provide. Remind yourself that the best way to win is to not need to. Your best
performances are accomplished  when you are relaxed and free inside. Take this kind of pressure off your children and other loved ones, as
well. Allow them to do and enjoy, rather than evaluating them on the
basis of who they defeat. You can detach yourself from this insidious
need and find yourself a much happier person each day. Get into the networking habit. Send out to others as gifts what you
would like to share. Do this without any expectations that they have to
thank you. The more you link yourself to others in a networking
fashion, the more they too will pass on the message. The more you
give to others all that you find valuable, the more you contri bute to
harmony in the world. Your sense of purpose will intensify as well as
your satisfaction. The voiceless people of our world, those who are not a part of any
huge bureaucracy, have a powerful tool in networking. Connecting
yourself to one other person who will spread the word to another is a
monumentally effective way to make a difference in the world. When
you give something away, anything at all, the recipient is somehow
charged with the energy of your giving act, and he or she wants to do
the same. While the communications channels appear to be invisible,
the impact is nevertheless empo wering. Give it a try the next time you
are inclined to want to go with your old bureaucratic training. Rather
than seeing another person as an impediment to your own aspir ations,
see him as an ally. Give him what you were trying to accumulate for
yourself. Detach yourself from the need to accumulate influence and
power, and see that individual as someone who is his own center of
power, who will pass it along  to another and so on in an infinite
network of powerful influence. This, then, is detachment—perhaps the most misunderstoo d universal
principle in our culture. Try looking at it from a metaphorical point of view. Imagine yourself listening to a symphony and telling yourself that it is
impossible to enjoy any of the musical notes until you have heard all of
them. As the symphony nears completion, you realize that this music is not
a completed picture that you can own. It is one note and then another
flowing through  your senses. Each note flows and you experie nce it in its
relationship to the other notes and instruments, throughout the symphony. This is the princ iple of detachment in action as it operates in your daily life. You can never get the entire thing into a neat package that you own. Never. You can only let it flow throug h you, enjoying it in the moment, and then
experiencing the next. No ownership, no control—only enjoying without
any attachment to a belief that it should be otherwise. Music is an energy that flows through you with each and every note, one
at a time. You cannot wait until all of the notes are completed  before you
enjoy it. The energy of the music flows outward and through you, and the
moment you have an attachment to it in any way, you lose it. One note at a
time, in this “onesong” that is our universe. No attachment to any of it, only
the endless flowing of it all. Every attachment keeps you from enjoying the
flow that life is. It is a lot like trying to grab that handful of water. Remember that the
tighter you squeeze, the less chance there is of having water to experience. But when you relax, allowing your hand simply to enter the wate r, the water
is there for you to enjoy as long as you wish. Release attachme nts, in favor
of allow ing it all to flow, just as the music flows one note at a time out from
the instruments through you, and just as the water flows always available
for you to enjoy, as long as you remain detached. OceanofPDF. comSYNCHRONICITY
 
The universe is complete and perfect. There can be no mistakes. Nothing is random. The entire “onesong” is exquisite ly
synchronized. To understand synchronicity and to implement it, we are required to
suspend some of our old ideas, to give up our notion of coincidence, of
mistakes, our belief that peopl e are imperfect. The principle that every
single event and every single person is connected seems almost too much to
accept. Most of us would rather hang on to the “principle of randomness”
and “error. ” We seldom consider that everything within our perfectly
operating universe may also be operating perfectly. It appears easier to
believe that unexplainable coincidences occur for no reason. The term “synch ronicity” was first used by Carl Jung. He spent his life
attempting to unravel the mysterious threads that seem to wind together in a
pattern that is impossible for us, in form, to decipher. He described
synchronicity as “the simultaneous occurrence of two meaningfully but not
causally connected events. ” He hypothesized that a collaboration exists
between people  and events that seems somehow to involve fate, and is
always operating in the universe. The basics of belief in synchronicity are that every single life has a
purpose and a deeper meaning than we are generally aware of. Behind all
form is an intelligence that is exquisitely perfect, and that works in a
synchronized fashion. Everything happens for a purpose, and the puzzle
pieces of life fit together perfectly. When you trust and know these
thoughts, you will daily recogni ze evidence for your belief in synchronicity. I am convinced  that this pheno menon is omnipresent in my life and that
there are no accidents of any kind. Carl Jung went on to say:
At the very moment when we are struggling to sustain a sense of
personal autonomy we are also caught up in vital forces that are
much larger than ourselves so that while we may be theprotagonists of our own lives, we are the extras or spear carrie rs
in some lar ger drama…. Or, as we have explored, there is only one dream, God’ s dream, and we are
all chara cters in it, similar to the characters that we create for our individual
dreams. SYNCHRONICITY  IN ALL  OUR LIVES
 
For the past several years I have asked my lecture audiences, “How many
of you have had the experience of thinking about someone and then
receiving a letter or phone call from that person the same day he or she
appeared in your thoughts. ” And “Have any of you run into someone you
had not thought of in years, just after his or her name happened  to come up
in conversation. ” Every hand in the audience usually goes up. Synchonicity, or the connection between seemingly random events and
thoughts, seems  to be a universal human experience. It happens to all of us
quite regularly, and it tends to repeat itself in a series of appealingly
unexplainable happenings. The fact is that the more we loosen up and allow
ourselves to flow in the energy system of the universe, the more we
experience this phenomenon. Ultimately we cease being surprised by these
happenstances and recognize them as part of the mysterious perfection of
our existence. I would bet that you have had the experience of absolutely knowing who
was calling on the phone before  you answered it. I am sure that you have
had what has been labeled a déjà vu experie nce, wherein you knew that you
had been in that very moment and lived that exact situation previously. I
would also wager that you have found yourself doing something that you
had never done before and were unable to explain why you were doing it
until later when you could look back and clearly see the reason. Let me give
you an example of one such situation in my life. Some years ago my publisher offered me a sizable advan ce for a
nonfiction book that would be a follow-up to Your Erroneous Zones  and
Pulling Your Own Strings. I thought about the possible content of my new
book for months, and frankly I was stuck as to what avenue to pursue. One
day I was sittin g by the ocean thinking about what to write when I felt a
strong urge to get up, get dressed, and get into my car. It was totallyuncharacteristic of me to want to leave the tranquillity of the beach at that
time of the day to get in my car and drive unnecessarily. Yet I drove,
without thinking  about where I was headed, and after thirty minutes or so I
found myself parking at the Pompano Fashion Mall. I was baffled by my
behavior. I generally avoid shopping malls and would never consider
spending a beautiful sunny afternoon at one. I walked directly to the bookstore and immediately went to the section on
psychology. One book was sticking out from the others, about to fall from
the crowded shelf. I pulled that book out, glanced through it, and went to
the checkout counter and purchased it. I drove home, walked back to my
beach spot, and read the book from cover to cover. And I knew precisely what I had to write about. I outlined the book
which later became The Sky’s the Limit  in a matter of a few hours. My
subject was self-actualization, or what I called no-limit living. I felt a clear
sense of being able to make this area of human psychology more
understandable and available to the average person. I knew that what I must
write about was how to become a person who lives life at the very highest
levels, and how to cultivate a sense of purpose and meaning. It was clear to
me after that strange experience of being propelled to read a new book. The book that practically fell into my hands was Abraham H. Maslow’ s
The Farther Reaches of Human Natur e. His earlier writings had been a
powerful influen ce on me, but this book was the impetus for my writing
The Sky’s the Limit. When I was stuck, a seemin gly coincidental force
guided me exactly where I needed to go. And so I dedicated The Sky’s the
Limit  to Dr. Maslow. I feel a special kind of mission to carry on his work
and make his ideas on mankind’ s potential greatness available to more
people. I am sure you can recall similar kinds of eerie happenings in your life,
where you did something totally out of character, and suddenl y saw, very
clearly, why. How can we even  begin to explain such things. How did the
card get inside the seatbelt buckle that led me to my father ’s grave. How
can a thought suddenly connect you to someone or something that seems so
unconnected. The word “connectedness” is vital to understanding the
principle of synchronicity. In some mysterious, undefinable way, everything
seems to be connected, even though we cannot see the connections. In some
strange way, the right person or the right series of events crops up just in
time to help us over the thresh old of some troubling problem. Once weunderstand that everything is connected in some way, even though we
cannot see the connectors, this universal principle of synchronicity becomes
more believable, and ultimately more available to us. There is a rhythm  to the univers e. When we are able to get quiet enough,
we experience how we are a part of that perfect rhythm. I keep coming back
to the concept of perfection, because for many, there is such a strong belief
in imperfection. I believe our world cannot be anything other than perfect. The precise amount of energy required to heat and sustain our planet comes
from the sun, without burning up its own energy source. The earth rotates
perfectly on its axis without being in danger of falling off. The entire
universe has an intelligence supporting it, which I call God, and you can
call anything that you like. The salmon swimming upstream back to their
spawning site is mysteriously perfect. The swallows show up on the same
day century after century. The spider knows how to build his web without
going to web school. The instincts for making the entire onesong work
perfectly are built in by an intelligence which permeates all form. And we
know very little about how any of it works. Yet it is all connected in some
way, from generation to generati on, throughout all species, and into infinity. If we can begin  to grasp this process of connectedness even in a tiny way,
we will also begin to understand ever so slightly the principle of
synchronicity, to start to believe in this phenomenal intelligence that
supports all life so perfectly. In order to see that there are connectors in the universe that we cannot
always see with our eyes and hold in our hands, let me take you on a brief
excursion of “connectedness. ”
 
THE EASIEST  CONNECT ORS TO BELIEVE IN
 
Obviously, the easiest things for us to believe in are those that we can see. Hence the notion “I’ll believe it when I see it” permeates our linear, form-
only culture. If you see a child pulling a toy with a long string, you have
very little difficulty in seeing and believing in the connection between that
moving toy and the child’ s actions. There is the string—I see the
connection. When something is connected, and we can see, hear, touch,
taste, or smell that connection, we have no difficulty in believing in its
connectedness. Thus, when we put gasoline in a car, and start the engine
and begin to burn the fuel, we see the connection between our actions andour ability to move about via an automobile. We are not in a state of
confusion or disbelief about how automobiles move from one point to
another. So the easiest connectors that make things hang togeth er are those
that you see with your own eyes, those that allow you to say to yourself, “I
see how that works, and I believe it. ”
 
MORE DIFFICUL T CONNECTIONS: FORM TO HIDDEN
FORM
 
When you turn on the light from a wall switch, you cannot see the
connection betw een that switch and the room suddenly alive with light, but
you know that a connection exists, know the connectors are hidden inside
the walls. We do not have to see the connectors, we simply have to believe
that they are present, even though they are hidden, and we then have a
knowing about  how this process works. This category of “hidden
connectors” is a bit more difficult to comprehend, but not terribly so, since
we place  tremen dous faith in the fact that the connectors are still in form. Even though they are out of view, we can find them if we really want to. EVEN MORE DIFFICUL T CONNECTIONS: FORM TO
INVISIBLE FORM
 
You are sitting in your living room watching a television program. Rather
than getting up to change the channel, you take in your hand the remote
control, which is in no way conn ected to the television set. You press one of
its butto ns, and the channel changes. The television set is responding to
some sort of invisible signal. How does this work. You cannot see any
connectors. You cannot smell or hear anything. You can even place a piece
of paper in front of the remote control and the connection still exists. What
is going on here. This category of connectors is something that all of us have grown
accustomed to. We buy our children toy automobiles which run by remote
control. A left turn for the toy car twenty feet away is accomplished by
pressing a left-turn button. Something travels through the air and instructs
the car to turn left. No wires, no strings, no visible connections, and yet we
believe in these connectors, even though most of us know almost nothing
about how they work. We believe that invisible signals fly through the airbecause that is what we are told, yet we have never seen those signals. So
now we are becoming more aware that a connection betwe en any two
objects does not require form,  as we perceive it with our senses, to be
present. We believe in and live with, connections that defy our senses. We
believe in them, and they work. After a few years of living with these kinds
of connectors, we even begin to take them for granted, despite the fact that
they are a complete mystery to us. INVISIBLE CONNECTIONS: HUMAN FORM TO HUMAN
FORM
 
The next time someone is talking to you across a room and you are
listening, stop and ask yourself, “How is this happening. That person is ten
feet away, moving his mouth, there is nothing but air between us, and yet I
instantaneously hear and process everything that he is saying. How can this
be. ” When you stop to consi der this everyday, ordinary occurrence, it
becomes mind-bending. Invisible things called sound waves travel between
a mouth and an ear, and you are able to process it all with your brain. Where are the connectors. I see his mouth moving. Is he sending them out
of his mouth. I do not try to make my ears pick up these invisible signals,
yet they appear to do just that. We unquestioningly believe in a whole
classification of connections between people that our rational mind simply
cannot fathom. We know that these invisible waves connect us from one person to
another, or even from an object such as a radio, or a door slamming, to a
person. We do not bother to make an attempt to figure it all out. We simply
accept a principl e called “sound” as something that exists, something that is
part and parcel of our humanity. We never say, “It simply cannot be. If I
cannot see it and touch it, then it must not exist. ” Our belief in this principle
allows us to function as human beings. There are invisible connectors
between people, and you participate in them every day. OUR OWN CONNECTIONS: OUR THOUGHT  TO OUR FORM
 
You are dancing with your partner, effortlessly gliding acros s the dance
floor. Your feet are doing exactly what they are supposed to do. There is
some kind of mysterious connection that exists between your thoughts andthe neuromuscul ar activity of your feet. Why do your feet move perfectly in
response to a thought which tells them to move. What is the connection. How can this be. Every single time you move the limbs and appendages of your form, they
are responding to a thought. But a thought is invisible and formless, and
that form lessness is somehow commanding those actions. You cannot see
the connection. You cannot explain it. But nevertheless, the fact that you
scratch your nose, or walk to the kitchen, or move your head, or move
toward a fly ball hit from a baseball bat and put your gloved hand up to
catch it, or make any other of the myriad movements that you engage in
every day, gives evidence that invisible connectors exist which allow you to
move about ef fortlessly in your everyday life. Mental energy directs muscular energy. Mental energy is thought. Therefore thought is some kind of a connection between a desire and a
physical outcom e. You believe very strongly in this connection even though
you cannot explain it. You accept this automatic stimulus response
connection as a way of life. You believe in it. You function within it. You
never question whether such a connection exists, for millions of daily
movements give you absolute proof that there is a connection between the
formless and the world of form. Keep this in mind as we move into the final
areas where those connections exist. INCOMPREHENSIBLE CONNECTIONS: HUMAN THOUGHT
TO ANOTHER HUMAN FORM
 
My wife is sittin g in one part of the house and our baby is in another part of
the hous e, out of hearing range. My wife suddenly says to me, “The baby is
crying—will you go check on him. ” Sure enough, he is crying ; yet it was
impossible for her to have heard the sound. Every mother who reads these
words will nod her head in agree ment, knowing that an invisible connection
does exist between her thoughts and the actions of her baby. We have now gone beyond the comprehensible. There can be a
connection between the though t of one person and the actions of another,
without the benefit of any of the five senses. We all know that such an
invisible connection can exist. My wife will be ten miles away from the
baby and say to me, “We have to go home now—the baby is ready to eat. ” I
say, “How can you know that he is hungry. Do you just know his schedulethat well. ” She responds, “My milk just came in, and it alway s comes in
when it is time for him to eat. ” What is this connection betwe en her body
and that of an infant ten miles away. Her body knows precisely when to
produce the milk based upon the thought of hunger in her infant, and it
works perfectly every time. The connection is invisible, but it is definitely
there for us to observe. If such an invisi ble connection can exist between a baby and mother, can
it be tapped and utilized between any two humans. Can we refine this
relationship between our thoughts and the world of someone else’ s form. While I was giving a speech recently, in Sacramento, California, a father
in the audience  was holding his baby, who started crying. The father
became nervous  and upset about disturbing the rest of the audience and
started walking  out, obviously still trying to hear my presentation. I
suggested that he relax about his own discomfort and communicate that
serenity to his infant. He smiled at me from the audience, relieved that I
was not going to judge him for having his baby there, and he noticeably
relaxed. The baby stopped fussing and for the next three hours never made a
peep. There was an invisible connection between his thoug hts and the
baby’ s behavior—a connection which defies description. YOUR OWN CONNECTIONS: THOUGHT  TO THOUGHT
 
We do not even know what one thought is, and yet we all know  and believe
that a thought exists and that a connection also exists between any one
thought and another thought. For example, I sit here writing, thinking about
what I am going  to write. That thought leads me to another thought that I
should probably say it this way or that way. Then I have another thought
that allows my fingers to type out what those previously connected thoughts
led me to. We can sit quietly and have any thought, since we are the source of
thoughts. Then we can have another thought based upon that first thought,
and perhaps even ten more thoughts, until we then decide to put them into
the world of form, or just to for get them. It is not the thought process that I am addressing. It is the existence of
connections  betwee n thoug hts. Connections most assuredly exist between
two form less things called thoughts within you, the being that you are in
this mom ent. If you can accept that these connectors exist, you are ready forthe next level. If you are not ready, then I want to hear from you. Tell me
how can there not be connect ions between thoughts, when one thought
leads to another. SYNCHRONICITY : HUMAN THOUGHT  TO OTHER HUMAN
THOUGHT
 
This is what I have been leading up to. Of course, the connectors are
hidden, just as they have been in all of the categories except for the first
one. Yet you believe in the existence of all the other connections. So now,
try to open up your heart and let in the fact that maybe, just maybe, this
invisible connec tion also exists in our universe, and that once you start to
believe in it, you will see it surfacing everywhere. The evidence, while
hidden to your senses, will show up and overwhelm you if you believe it. Let’s see how they show up in your life and mine. THE FORMLESS CONNECTIONS BETWEEN HUMAN
BEINGS
 
Imagine a container the size of a grapefruit, with a lid for the top. Now try
to make an educ ated guess about how many pennies you could store in this
container. You might come up with a guess in the neighborhood of three
hundred pennies. If I were to ask you, “How many thoughts could you store
in this container with the lid tightly sealed to avoid spillover. ” you would
probably answer, “How can you store thoughts in a container. Thoughts are
formless and dimensionless. You cannot store something without physical
specifications or boundaries in a container. ”
Now ask yourself, “What is memory. ” Eventually you have to conclude
that memory is nothing more than thoughts. So where are those
dimensionless thoughts stored, in order for us to recall them as we do. Many people truly believe that memory is stored in the brain, yet the brain
is a container about the size of a grapefruit. It is form. Can you store
thoughts, which  are formless, in a container which is form. Of course not. So what is memory and where is it if it is not stored in the brain. Hang on
and we will speculate about this. Now let me ask you another question that I often hear: “Where do we go
when we die. ” Most people try to come up with some kind of place that fitsinto their “form only” orientation. But I believe that most of what we are is
outside the rules of form. And so my response to the question is another:
“Where do all of those characters that were there with you in your dream go
when you awaken. ”
Form has a place; you can store it. Nonform (thought) does not require a
place, since it is dimensionless. Thought is infinite and so is impossible for
us to comprehend from a positio n of form only. Experiencing our universal
spirituality requires entering another dimension of being, where beginnings,
endings, and storage places are unnecessary. Many religions speak of God creating heaven and earth in the beginning. When asked, “When did God begin. ” they respond, “God always was. ”
That answer is acceptable to most of us, and we cease speculating on
beginnings and endings. What is it that you think of when you think of this
infiniteness that most people call God. That is the formless, no-beginning-
and-no-end, always existing dimension that I speak of throughout this
book. It matters not what you call it. What matters is to let in the notion of
the dimension in which you reside for the two-thirds of your life that you
are awake. Thought, to me, is a part of that transcendent dimension. There are many labels for that formless dimension: spirituality, higher
consciousness, inner wisdom, enlightenment, altered states of
consciousness, and so on. I call it thought, because we are all a part of it,
and it is a part of all of us. Here in the universally recognized human
activity of thought is a place to begin to comprehend the formless
dimension. In some Eastern traditions, this higher dimension is called the Tao, which
translates to “the unfolding. ” It has been said that “the Tao that is described
is not the Tao. ” This is because form, in words, whether spoken or written,
describes  the experience. What we experience  with our sense s is quite a
different thing. The description differs from the experience in the dimension
of thought. But in order to write about it one uses words to make it as
available as is possible. Otherw ise, this book would be a series of blank
pages. Now if we were as enlightened as we might like to be, that would
suffice. Section summary: 

Please summarize the key concepts mentioned in this passage. **Section Summary**
In this article discussing "Attachment" vs. "En-lightenment", six main types

1. \*\*Family Relationships:\*

   * Unconditionality \& Self-Love\*
    • Listen & Offer Guidance\
2. *Parent-child Relationship:*


=====



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Here's accurate and concise summarizations:


Summary:** Key Concepts **{#}**

### FamilyRelationship/UnhealthyJudging/PurposeGuidelines/{#}

• Stay distant/safe regarding kinship ties;
	+ Feel protected internally due lack evaluation linked towards lifestyle decisions;

These descriptions illustrate maintaining specifics while avoiding repetition. References :

[https://www. oceanpdf. com](http://)
```




Let me correct minor errors in formatting. So, basically,

these sections discuss various aspects relating 'Attachments' influencing personal growth/en-enLightement'. These topics delve further –>
–>Types of Attlements:>>

1\. <font color="#00698B">family</ font>, focusing on accepting/lovin relative independence (&<span style="color:#0000FF">
`Your Relatives`, `Loved Ones`,`Ego `,
has. </ span></font>. Note that we don’t evaluate oneself according  
#### Parent Child Relation ship/



## Conclusion :
After reading numerous articles/books,you'd notice recurring patterns concerning 'Attatchment'. As users proceed exploring mental energies connecting among individuals. , Allowing a space for freedom/flexibly embracing uncertainty/resilience — Not controlling/pushing kids </br>`(Don't compare)</code>< /div >







Particular highlights encompass:< br/>

Attach Yourself. Do you Know. Feel Whole Inside. More importantly,

Key Point #8<br/>
And More Related Points Exist.
It means caring so much that you suspend your own value judgments about others and relate to them from a position of love rather than attempting to control or judge them.
What does it mean to be detached in human relationships?
Learning to let your loved ones be and love them for what they choose to be, regardless of your opinion about what they choose.
What is the key to eliminating suffering in relationships?
It paradoxically makes it less likely that you will emerge with a better score, as your focus on winning makes it difficult to perform at your best.
What is the paradoxical effect of being detached from the need to win?
The attachment to the past and the traditions that are a part of it, as well as the tendency to believe that the universe is random and imperfect.
What is the main obstacle to understanding the concept of detachment?
It is to accept the existence of invisible connectors between seemingly random events and thoughts, and believe that these connections exist, even if we cannot see or understand them.
What is the key to understanding the principle of synchronicity?