For example, as a caregiver for someone with dementia, do
you choose to be frustrated, annoyed, and possibly even resentful
for the burden it places upon you? Or, do you choose to be patient,
caring, and compassionate? Do you choose to see and to remember
the best in the person , even at moments when they forget who you
are, and at moments where they perhaps act out in anger or rage? This may sound like an obvious question, but it is a hard choice
to actually live out, day-to-day, when someone you love appears tobe completely disoriented to the world (as occurs in severe
dementia). It can be especially challenging when a loved one
becomes troubled and unsettled, which occurs frequently in dementia
(leading to nighttime wandering, acting out, or forgetting social
etiquette, due to confusion). How can caregivers maintain a loving and compassionate
attitude in such a situation? How does one not spiral downward into
sadness, depression, anger, and resentment for such an
overwhelming condition? In my understa nding, there is no spiritual “requirement” that we
show up in any particular way—and no “soul lesso n” that is
mandated by the Universe  for us to learn—but there is an
opportunity . And we are invited to use this opportunity , this situation,
to demonstrate our highest  idea of Who We Are in relationship to
what is occurring. Regarding the patient—the one with the dementia—I will take a
slightly differen t stance. I still do not believe there is a “soul lesson”
to be learned, but I do believe that the medical profes sion could
handle dementia, on the whole, differently , so as to allevia te some of
the suf fering that I, personally , view as unnecessary . I believ e this relates back to our discussion on eutha nasia
earlier in the book , and to our willingness—as physicians and as a
society—to take the time to talk to people about their “goals of care”
(things such as Advance Directives , which startlingly , only 33 percent
of elderly patients in the Unite d States have in writing)14 prior to their
mental state deteriorating to the degree that such conversations can
no longer take place in a meaningful way .I think we would be doing people a great service  by clarifying
what physical or mental cond itions they are willing to live with, and
which ones they are not—so that we would be able to help them end
their life when  their condition (physical or mental) deteriorated past
this point. I would also like to mention here that the majority of people  who
live long enough to get dementia (not all of them, but a great many of
them) are alive in large part thanks to western medicine . That is, if
we did not have treatments  available for heart disease, diabetes,
kidney disease, infections, and a whole host of other conditions,
these people likely would have passed on long before dementia
struck. (For instance, if humanity were “living in the wild” without
access to medical treatments , few people would ever survive to the
point of getting dementia in the first place.) Therefore, if we, as western medical doctors, are in large part
responsible for keeping people alive to the point where they then
move into dementia , are we not also responsible for helping them to
“leave,” or to “exit” the physic al plane, once their condition (physical
or mental) has deteriorated to the point of no longer being
functional? Would this not equally be our responsibility? (Assuming,
of course, that they have stated in an Advance Directive  that this
would be their first choice.) It was never brought up in my medical training, but it is
something that has lingered in my mind from the very first nursing
home visits I made, when I saw before my own eyes the struggle
that so many endure as a result of dementia. And I remember
thinking to myself in those  moments, “My goodness, if we, asmedical doctors, have brought people to this place, is it not also our
responsibility to help them on their way ‘out’?”
So I would close by saying that dementia, in my view, is a
condition that humanity could handle differently. And I see those who
“suffer from dementia” as providing the impetus for world change . . . or at least for the changing viewpoints of both the medical profession
and the legal system around how we, as a culture, handle “terminal
diagnoses.”
In this way, the souls of these patients could very well be
accepting an invitation at a very high level—being willing to stand in
those shoes so that the rest of the world can awaken to a new way
of doing things, and so that a new medical protocol  for patients with
terminal diagnoses such as dementia (including planning “goals of
care” and the option  for euthanasia) could come into play . I will turn it over to you, now, Neale . . . if you have things to
add from a spiritual point of view . NEALE: I am going to say something here that is going to turn our
entire understanding and experience of “dementia” upside-down. First, I want to announce without hesitation or equivocation that
the person suffering from dementia is not doing so to “learn”
something—and neither is the situation occurring to allow the
caregiver to learn something. Spiritually , I have come to understand that life is not an
opportunity for us to learn, but an opportunity for us to demonstrate;
not an opportunity for us to DIS-cover , but an opportunity for us to
UN-cover , Who We Really Are. That is, the whole of life is not aprocess of discovery , but of recovery—or , if you wish, of
remembering our T rue Identity . Nor is this an individual process, but one in which all souls are
engaged collaboratively . We have co-created this experience we call
dementia, and have done so in families and clans where the
commitment to the greatest spiritual understanding is very, very high. This is true in my wife’s family. My wife Em is herself deeply
committed to doing whatever it takes to advance the evolu tion of her
soul—and to helping every human being around her do the same. I
want to share with you now something that she had on more than
one occasion explained to me when she came home after visiting
her father when he was living in a memory care facility . The person with dementia has let go of all prior notions of their
limited physica l identity . Their soul is still very much present (very
much), but their mind has released, one by one, every idea—literally ,
every memory —of themselves that is confined to a single set of
facts, events, or circumstances. In a very real sense, they have become spiritually enlight ened. And that is why they will often say the most enlightened, seemingly
disconnected things. They also live completely in the present
moment, and so to us they seem disoriented, when, in fact, they are
oriented to Ultimate Reality , and to the Ever-present Moment of Now,
more profound ly than people who are still living inside of their
“container” are experiencing. After hearing this from Em, it came to me that in certain ancient
cultures, people who exhibited signs of what we today call dementia
were treated as honored masters in the clan, waited on hand and
foot, their every physical need served by the whole community withloving care, as an honor—because it was observed that these
members of the tribal family had achieved release from their mind
without having to leave their body to do so. This was considered the ultimate demonstration of
“graduation.” The ultimate expression of mastery . The sadness of modern times is that our society has completely
reversed its understanding of this sacred condition, with it actually
being seen by many as almost a curse, or at the very least the
saddest event. Yet those who understand the true nature of the
experience, as did my wife, consciously decide to interact with their
elderly loved one on a soul level—and often find the most amazing
messages coming from them. These blessed  elders may have let go of their limited physical
identity , but they have not forgotten anything at a soul level—least of
all the truth and the wonder of Love. As my wife has told me—and
demonstrated every time she visited her father—simply treat them
with love and you’ll see them light up with the brightness of
recognition. Even if they don’t recognize your face, they will
recognize your essence. They will recognize love, and in this they
will surely know who you are. Em saw clearly that this is their gift to us. This is their reminder . By showing us who they really are throu gh the utter and complete
release of who they are not, they have shown us who we really are. At a time when the Earth’ s people could benefit from hearing
this message more loudly and more dramatically than ever before, it
is not surprising that cases of so-called “dementia” have reached
epidemic proportions. Souls are taking on the challenge. Souls are
embracing the mission. As their last act on Earth this time around,souls are accepting the ultimate assignment. We are being shown
Who W e Are, and who we are not, right in front of our faces. Let those who have ears to hear, listen. What a gift our elders
have given us in their final demonstration of love.Question #3
 
CONCERN ABOU T PRESCRIPTION
MEDICATIONS
 
 
I have borderline high cholesterol and my doctor
is recommending that I take statins. I fear the side effects of these drugs. What are some other options or ways
I can reduce my dependence on drug therapies? DR. COOPER: If your cholesterol is borderline high, your doctor will
likely support you in a trial of lifestyle methods to reduce your
cholesterol before asking that you start a statin medication. These
include increas ing your exercise, as well as modifying your diet to
contain less fats, in particular saturated fats.15
Exercise, as we all know , has numerous benefits for the body ,
and it has been shown to improve cholesterol as well. In particular ,
aerobic exercise (things like running, walking, swimming, or riding a
bike—anything that raises your heart rate for at least 20-30 minutes)
promotes the formation of “good cholesterol” (HDL) as opposed to“bad cholesterol” (LDL).15 Exercise also helps with weight loss, so for
people who are overweight this is another important benefit. Any exercise is better than no exercise (presuming you are not
physically restricted from exercise in any way). A good goal to aim
for is to work towards 20-30  minutes of moderate exercise at least
three times per week. When it comes to diet, the number one thing to signifi cantly
reduce if you are hoping to lower your cholesterol levels is your
consumption of fats and, in particular , saturated fats.15 The current
medical guidel ines suggest that no more than 30 percent of your
daily calories should come  from fat, and it is important to be
especially attentive to this guideline for those with borderline high
cholesterol. An ideal breakdown (of your diet) would be approximately 20
percent of your calories from protein sources, 30 percent or less of
your calories from fat sources, and 50-60 percent of your calories
from carbohydrate sources (which include fruits and vegetables , as
well as other carbohydrate sources—preferably with lower “glycemic
indices,” such as whole grain breads, quinoa, or rolled or steel-cut
oats—as these are absorbed  more slowly into your bloodstream and
are better for your overall health). With these diet and exercise strategies in mind, it may be
helpful to know that most medical doctors (in Canada, anyway ,
where I was trained) are taught to allow the patient to try “lifestyle
modifications” for about three months, and then to measure the
cholesterol levels once more . At the point of reassessment, if your
cholesterol levels are still high, your doctor will in all likelihood
suggest the statin medication again. The reason for this is thatcholesterol is an important risk factor for heart attacks and strokes,
which are, of course, medical outcomes we want to avoid. In addition to lifestyle changes and medications, someone
reading this book might also inquire about spiritual, or alternative,
methods of healing that migh t help to lower one’s cholest erol levels. In fact, I had one such person approach me at Neale’ s most recent
Homecoming Event (a program where he invites eight or ten people
to his home over the course of five days to explore in depth the
Conversations with God messages). This woman approached me and said, “I’ve decided to quit my
statin medication because I am spending more of my time doing
spiritual things so I figure I don’t need it anymore. What do you think,
Doctor?” She did not tell me what those particular “spiritual things”
were that she was doing, but I can tell you that what I said to this
woman is what I would say to anyone asking me a question along
these lines. I told her that, having been trained as a medical doctor , I do not
know the efficiency or effectiveness of “alternative or spiritual
treatments.” Do I believe they work? Of course I do. I have heard
enough stories, and enough accounts from various people, of these
sorts of “treatments” or “healings” having produced measurable
changes for the better in people’ s health. What I advise d this woman to do was to continue with the
treatments and healing processes of her choice, but to consider
scheduling a follow-up appo intment with her physician so that she
could at least know whether what she was doing was having the
desired impact. In other word s, she could then have an accurate
assessment (in the form of a numerical value from a blood test) as towhether or not her cholesterol levels were changing and improving
as a result of the steps she was taking. Now some people may not care; they may simply be opposed
to conventional western medicine and prefer to have nothing to do
with it. They may choose not to take the statin for the sole reason
that they are skeptical about drugs prescribed by weste rn medical
doctors. And I have encountered more than one person with this
point of view. But it is neverth eless my belief that one is well-advised
to at least consider all possible modes of healing. Also, if you begin the statin medication, there is nothing
preventing you from stoppi ng it down the road should you (a)
develop bother some side effects, or (b) have your cholesterol levels
reassessed and find that they are low enough that you no longer
need the drug. Always know that just because you start a medication
does not mean you need to stay on it forever . NEALE: I agree with you, Brit, here on all accounts. I think that one
of the healing tools that God has given our species is the knowledge
of how to use substances and approaches for healing— from the
earliest medici ne people in our clans and tribes who learn ed how to
use substances occurring naturally in our environment (the bark of
trees, the roots of plants, etc. ), to medical researchers and doctors
who have learned how to create substances developed in
laboratories—all toward the same end: to produce health and
healing in the human body . I do not personally subscribe to the notion that today’ s
pharmaceuticals and 21st century medical procedures are
antithetical to God’ s healing process. Rather , I see modern medicineas part of it—even as the whole world can be part of the process by
which all sentient beings may use every aspect of life as a means of
healing every and any False Thought they may hold about
themselves. (We spoke about this in Section One of this book, when
we explored the fact that our world and our lives very often  seem out
of control.) Spirituality and Medicality (I just made up a great word!) are not
opposite ends of a spectrum, but rather , component parts of the
whole range of energy expre ssions of which life Itself is comprised. Thus, I think neither spirituality nor medicality are profitably
dismissed out of hand. Interestingly , spiritual messe ngers and medical doctor s are
usually the last persons to do so. It is usually a skeptic al public—
those who in every instance doubt the efficacy of spiritual healing
and those who in every instance question the benefits of modern
medicine—who issue such proclamations. What I am saying is that modern medicine and contemp orary
spirituality are not juxtaposed . And let me tell you that it has been my
experience and my observation that what a person believes can
have a huge influence on what occurs in a person’ s life. If, for instance, you deeply believe that you have good reason to
fear the side effects of certain drugs, such as statins (and by the way,
there are some side effects of certain medicines that even the
medical profession warns should be paid attention to, and should be
reported to your doctor immediately, at the very first sign of even a
hint of such reactions), you should have a very serious discussion
with your doctor to ascertain that she or he has no doubts
whatsoever that a particular medicine is safe, and why. And if eventhen you remain convinced that there is something to fear, I would
move very cautiously around taking that drug. If you don’t believe in
what your doctor is telling you, you’re going to be energetically
working against the energy of the medicine itself. I don’t happen to be one of those who believe that all allopathic
physicians are in the hip pocket of the pharmaceutical industry and
will repeat whatever they’re told to say. My experience in life has
been that the vast, vast majority of doctors are no different in terms
of their integrity level than you and I, that they work hard at keeping
up with the research and latest findings of the most objective medical
studies they can find, spend ing hours of reading to make  sure that
they are not prescribing medication for their patients that are going to
do more harm than good. You wouldn’t deliberately cheat or harm another , nor would you
be so careless  as to run a very high risk of seriously hurting (much
less killing) another, and I have no reason to believe that your doctor
is less of a good human being than you are. (Are there some bad actors among our doctors? Of course
there are. Is nearly every doctor in this group? No. Stop. Period. End
of sentence.) This does not mean that you should do anything your doctor (or
anyone else) says. In the end, you have to listen to yourself, and to
what your intuition tells you, and then peacefully go where it takes
you.Question #4
 
ABOR TION
 
 
I was sexually assaulted and became pregnant, and I am not sure
whether to continue with the pregnancy . Is abortion okay? DR. COOPER: I am very sorry to hear that this happened to you, as
sexual assault is the most distressing way in which any woman could
become pregnant. It replac es what is typically an exciting and
celebratory time in one’s life with a sense of deep anger , sadness,
and hurt. It also brings up a myriad of challenging decisions: Should I go
forth with the birth? If so, do I desire to keep the baby? Is this even
possible financ ially and time-wise given where I currently am in life? Do I want to give the baby up for adoption? Is abortion an option for
me? If I choose this, will I be accepted or rejected by my work, my
community , my friends, my family and loved ones? It is not an easy position to be in, and I can tell you that I
witnessed many women face these challenging decisions first-hand
in my medical training when I worked at the Women’ s Sexual Health
Clinic in V ictoria BC, Canada.I am aware that many people  object to abortion on religio us or
moral grounds, fervently belie ving that it is “wrong” to end a fetal life. Some people believe this to be true at any stage of embryonic
development (that is, from the very first stages following conception);
others believe  it becomes applicable at a certain “stage in
development” (like when the heart starts beating); and others still
believe that a law against abortion should become valid when the
fetus is deemed to be “viable”—meaning that the fetus is able to live
independently outside of the mother ’s womb (somewhere around 24
weeks). Canada currently has no official law against abortion, meaning
that it can technically be done at any point during the nine months of
pregnancy . However , every medical doctor I have crossed paths with
in this field has set the limit at 20 weeks gestation. As a profession,
most doctors feel that this gives the woman ample time to make a
choice about it, while still maintaining a boundary that allows doctors
to feel comfortable performing the procedure. While I can understand the concern for fetal rights—there were
protests going  on every day outside of the Abortion Clinic (the
Women’ s Sexual Health Clinic) where I worked for a brief period of
time—I also know that my experience  first-hand with these  women
opened my eyes to an entirely different way of looking at things. And
it opene d my heart to a deeper sense of compassion than I ever
previously held with regard to this issue. Did you know that approximately 30 percent of women in the
United States have had an abortion by the age of 45?16 So the
decision to have an abortion is not uncommon.But what I would like to comment on here is not so much
whether abortion is “right” or “wrong” according to anyone’ s
particular moral standards, but rather , I would like to draw attention
to the way we treat women and approach the issue in general. Regardless of one’s moral standpoint on abortion, as someone
in the medical profession I am acutely aware of the fact that women
need and deserve a safe place to go—a place where they can
express their deepest emotions, explore the options (including
abortion) available to them if they find themselves with an unwanted
pregnancy , and know that someone is there to help them on this
challenging road in a supportive, compassionate, and understanding
way. In my view, this is what medicine is about; and, more
importantly , it is what being human  is about. With this in mind, if I were your physician and you came to me
requesting an abortion after having been sexually assaulted, I would
absolutely tell you that yes, in my opinion, this is okay. I would  also
take the time to hear your story, to explore your emotions around the
decision if you wished to, and to consider any other options that may
be of interest to you. I would want you to feel “complete” in your
decision, know ing that you went into it fully informed rather than with
a sense of hesitation or doubt. In Canada, it is expected in the medical profession that,
regardless of our personal beliefs on abortion, we must facilitate our
patient having access to resources and support around this decision. Even if we are not comforta ble performing abortions ourselves, we
must always use non-judgme ntal language, and refer our patient onto a doctor who is prepared to do the abortion and to
compassionately counsel the woman around this choice. I think these recommendat ions for the medical profession
would serve as a good model for the general population as well; in
other words, I think it would serve us well to take our own personal
desires and beliefs off the table, and to allow each woman the
freedom to make the choice that she believes to be the highest and
best. NEALE: Your question, “Is abortion okay”?, raises other questions:
“Okay with whom? With you? With someone else who is important to
you? With God? With civil law where you live?”
Let me address the spiritu al aspect of this question, as I
understand that aspect. The God of my understanding has made it clear to me that
there is no such thing as right and wrong; there is only what works
and what does not work, given what it is you are trying to do. Your
question, then, from my spiritual point of view, breaks down to this:
What is it that you are trying to do? Are you trying to ensure that any child you bring into the world
has the very best chance for a wonderful life? Are you trying to do
what is “okay” based on someone else’s definitions  or moral
constructions, or based on your own? Are you trying to make sure
you do not “anger God,” or commit a terrible sin? Are you trying to
move forward with your life without having your own future path and
choices determ ined for you by circumstances over which you had no
control—or to which you did not pay sufficient attention? Are youtrying to respond to your own inner sense of what feels “right” for you
and what most accurately represents Who Y ou Are in this situation? What is it you are trying to do? If you aren’t clear about this, that is the question  I would advise
you to deeply explore. And remember , there is no “right” or “wrong”
answer to this question. There is only the answer you give it. You will
know if it speaks to you of you the moment you hear your own
answer . With regard to God, I can tell you this: God loves you eternally
and unconditionally whatever you choose regarding this or any other
decision in your life. God will never make you “wrong” for anything,
but will allow every step you take in every life you live to bring you
closer and closer to Completion on The Journey of the Soul. Completion is experienced whenever You and God are One in
your experience. And this is not a One Time Thing, but may happen
across many moments in many lifetimes—until it happens across so
many connected moments that it becomes the Constant Expression of
Who You Are. Even then the journey will not be Complete, but will expand
from there as the Joy and the Wonder of The Divine reaches out
through you to touch other sentient beings  in the univer se in ways
that will allow them, as well, to experience themselves as Divinity
Expressed. There’ s more about this matter of choice-making and “right and
wrong” in my reply to the next question, below .Question #5
 
SEX AND DISABI LITY
 
 
My husband was in a car accident two years ago that resulted in a
spinal cord injury . Our marriage has suffered due to his inability to be
sexually intimate. I am loyal and want to stay with him, but because
this area of our relationship is lacking, I feel greatly compromised. What should I do? DR. COOPER: Let me start off by saying that Conversations with
God presen ts an unorthodox view on sex and sexuality , in the sense
that it is a theology that openly celebrates  and encourages  joyful
sexual expression. It does not suggest that sex is the one and only
way to connec t in a meaningful and intimate way with your partner ,
but it does validate and honor this aspect of our humanit y in a way
that few (if any) other theologies do. So I would like to start by
acknowledging that it is a very legitimate concern you have, and one
that I am happy you brought up here. It seems to me that the key question becomes: how can you
continue to demonstrate love and loyalty to your husband after his
injury, while at the same time demonstrating love to yourself in
honoring your desire for a sexual connection with a partner? Or, in thesituation in which you find yourself, perhaps the larger question is: is
this even possible? If I were your doctor—and there are some doctors who
specialize in the areas of sex and sexuality—I would start by asking
you more about your intimate relationship with your husband. Assuming that, as you said from the outset, you value your
relationship with your husband and you wish to stay with him and to
work through the challenge of intimacy , I would tell you that I do
believe it is possible to do so in a way that honors both partners. There was a recent article published in the Toronto Star , one of
Canada’ s most widely read newspapers, about “Sex and Disability .”
The article featured a couple, Tim and Natalie Rose, who created a
Centre called the Rose Centre for Love, Sex, and Disability .17 Tim is
wheelchair-bound (born with cerebral palsy), and his wife, Natalie, is
able-bodied. Their Centre “aims to promote the idea of seeing the
positive sides of disability , particularly when it comes to love, sex,
and disability .”
Tim and Natalie are devoted to educating people around the
topic of sex and disability , and are an uplifting and inspiring example
of a couple who proudly anno unces that they have a pass ionate and
fulfilling sex life, despite the limitations placed on Tim’s body , being a
quadriplegic since birth.17 This young couple simply love each other
so deeply that they have been committed to finding ways to work
around the situation—despite  the “hassles” of transferring Tim out of
his wheelchair , figuring out positions that work, and exploring how to
satisfy one another sexually in ways that are “outside the norm.”
But the reason this couple went public about their sex life in
Canada’s most-read newspaper was not for their own recognition orfame, but rather, as a means of empowering other disabled couples,
as well as to educate the general population around the idea that a
fulfilling sex life is still possible for people with physical challenges. So in respons e to your question, “What should I do?”, first I
would invite you to maintain hope  that you can, in fact, create a
fulfilling sex life with your husband. It may not be “easy ,” or look the
same as it does for some other couples, but it nevertheless may still
be possible. I say this based on what I learned from Tim and
Natalie’ s interv iew, as well as from experiences I have become
aware of in the medical profession of patients whose illnesses have
adversely af fected their sexual function. If it is of interest to you, I would suggest that you and your
husband arran ge to see a physician or a sex therapist to discuss and
explore possibilities of how the two of you could make some
changes to more fully accommodate each other ’s wishes and
desires. I do not belie ve that an injury resulting in sexual challenge
needs to be a deal-breaker or a joy-killer in a marriage; to the
contrary , it may be a stepping stone to open the doors of
communication and, dare I say , the possibility of an even more loving
and intimate relationship than what you both had prior to the injury . Both Ken Keyes Jr. and Amy Purdy used their physical
disabilities as platforms into greater meaning and fulfillm ent in their
lives (stories pulled from the first part of this book). So, too, would I
venture to suggest that you may one day look back on this obstacle
that you and your husband are currently facing and see it as a gift. Or, in the words of Tim Rose, founder of the Rose Centre for
Love, Sex, and Disability: “Let’s not look at disability as a tragedy ,let’s look at it as something to be celebrated and have fun with.”17
 
NEALE: I have a wonderful friend who was born with spina bifida. She currently offers personal coaching and teaches classes for
persons she refers to as “the differently abled.” When I first saw her
flyers about these classes I thought, “What a remarkable way of
putting it.”
I agree with everything my wonderful doctor friend said above. I
would put it all into one sentence: An inability to have intercourse
does not equate to an inability to be sexually intimate. We’re all adults  here, and we all know that there are more ways
than one to experience sexual joy and its physical pleasure. Your husband is simply differently abled. The two of you can
find love, warmth, and delight in his showing you that. The good
doctor has said all the rest that needs to be said about the physical
aspects of this situation, above. Now let’ s look at the spiritual aspects . . . The purpose of life on Earth, as I have been given to
understand it, is to recreate ourselves anew , in each golden moment
of Now, in the next grandest version of the greatest vision ever we
held about Who We Are. We are not our body . Our body is
something we have, it is not something we are. We are three-part
beings, made up of Body , Mind, and Soul. If this is true, we have a new context within which to consider
the question you’ve asked. Would the next grandest version of the
greatest vision ever you held about Who You Are be a person who
leaves her husband becaus e he had an accident and his injury
makes it impossible for him to have sexual intercourse?Is Who You Are a person who adds to the tragedy of your
husband’ s injury by expanding it to include the tragedy of losing his
life partner? Is Who You Are a person who cannot live happily without
experiencing sexual intimacy in a specific and particular way? If this is Who You Are, the way to stay loyal to your husband
would be to speak the truth to him about how you define yourself in
this situation, and ask for his loving help and support with your
decision on what to do next in your life. As a man, I know exactly what I would say to my wife if we
were in this exact situation. I would say: “If having sexual
experiences in your life in one particular way is more important to
you than having me in your life, I will never stop you from leaving
me. All I’ve ever wanted for you is your happiness and joy in life. I
would do anything to help you in creating that for yourself—including
releasing you from any promise you’ve made to me.”
The God of my understanding  has revealed to me that my life is
not about me. It’s about everyone whose life I touch, and the way in
which I touch it. I believe that the highest level of spiritual
understanding is reached when we realize, announce, and declare
Who We Really Are (Indiv iduations of Divinity) and when we
demonstrate why we are here on the Earth (to expre ss and to
experience our T rue Identity). The soul has materialized a body and a mind in a particular
way at a partic ular time in order to manifest a particular expression
of a Singular Reality . We are the living answer to the ques tion, “What
would God do now?” That is the question I would ask myself if I werethe husband in this situation —and that is equally the question you
may wish to ask yourself as the wife. And remember , there is no “right” or “wrong” answer to this
question. There is only the answer that reveals you to yourself, and
opens you to being the person you most earnestly seek to be. In this
and in all things, it is, in the end, as Shakespeare wrote. This above
all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow , as the night the day,
thou canst not then be false to any man.Question #6:
 
WHY DEATH OCCURS
 
 
Why do we grow old and die? I know from
a spiritual perspective there is no death,
but clearly on the physical plane there is death. Why? DR. COOPER: Let’s start with the medical perspective. Why do
doctors believ e that death occurs? Or, to rephrase that, what, if
anything, does medical science offer as an explanation for why
death occurs? This is a quest ion that has intrigued physicians for years. As we
mentioned in Part 1, the heart has always been viewed as one of the
most critical organs that keeps us alive. So initially one might think
that death is when the heart stops beating. But in truth death does
not occur solely because the heart stops beating. How do we know this? Because many a person’ s life has been
saved by CPR—cardiopulmonary resuscitation— several minutes
after their heart has stopped beating. And the heart has been able to
be restarted, with some combination of chest compressions,
defibrillating shocks (when doctors put the “shock pads” on the chest
and say “everyone clear! !” ), and medications that are able toincrease blood pressure and blood circulation and encourage , or
provoke , the heart to start beating again. Furthermore, many a person has been “saved” from a heart
attack—when the heart is essentially rendered non-functional for a
while, but doctors are able to go in and remove the blockage and
restore circulation in a functional way before the person dies. So it is
not the heart that is the “last domino,” so to speak—the
distinguishing factor between life and death. What is it then?,  doctors began to ask them selves. And the
next answer suggested by the medical profession was: the brain. The theory here was that, when the heart stopped beating, the
brain would be starved of oxygen. Oxygen, of course, is one of the
most crucial “nutrients” keep ing our cells alive and, without it, our
cells could not survive (it is for this reason we cannot stay
underwater very long without coming up to breathe—for  oxygen is
essential to human life). The job of the heart is to circu late blood
precisely so that fresh oxyge n from the lungs can be delivered all
around the body to nourish  the cells and keep them alive. What
happens in this regard, then, when the heart stops beating? Ahhh, doctors thought, well the brain would not be getting
oxygen! For the duration of time that the heart stoppe d beating,
gradually those brain cells would become more and more starved of
the critical nutrient that keeps them alive . And when our brain begins to “die,” we begin to lose critical
aspects of who we are—our personality , our memories, and all of the
brain functions that presumably (from a western medical model)
allow us to walk through the world as the person we are.The interesting  thing about this theory involving the brain is that
it was found to be time-dependent . That is, if we, as doctors, could
restore the person’ s heartbeat quickly enough so that circulation
could return to the brain (somewhere between four to six minutes
was thought to be the “cut-of f”), then the person could in fact “return
to life,” after being what we call clinically dead, and continue on
living! So it was only those people whose brains were not receiving
oxygen for four to six minutes or longer who would die . . . So you’d think we’d found the solution! The answer to the age-
old question, “Why do we have to die?” Except we hadn’t . . . not
entirely , anyway . In the last chapter of Part 1 we touched on cryopreservation —
which is the idea of freezing a human body (or brain) in hopes of
“bringing it back to life” years later, when medical science has
“caught up,” so to speak, and “created a cure” for whate ver illness
the person passed away from. Well the interesting thing about this is
that, when we drop the temperature of the body low enough
(somewhere between -213 and -321 degrees Fahrenheit , scientists
suggest), cellular  damage due to lack of oxygen does not occur .10
As Conversations with God  says (and medical science supports
this as well), life is motion. And when we drop the temperature of the
body low enough, things essenti ally stop moving. They become
extraordinarily close to “frozen,” and cells need very, very little
oxygen (edging in on zero) to survive in this state. And so it appears  that if we could drop the temperature low
enough, the heart could stop beating for a lot longer than four or six
minutes—perhaps several hours, or several days, or even longer—and the brain would be undamaged (or at least not severely
damaged) and the person could still be brought back to life!! So what, then, is the “last domino”? Why do we have to die? And what is the answer to this question not only medically, but also
spiritually? Medical science does not appear to have a conclusive answer
yet . . . so let’ s take a look at the spiritual side of things. I believe that spiritually we die because we have come to
“completion”—having accomplished what our soul came here to do
in this lifetime. It may not always appear this way to other people—
such as to the parents of a child who is on the verge of passing away
from childhood cancer (they may very well feel quite the opposite )—
but I resonate with what Home with God suggests, which is that no
soul dies at a time or in a way that is not of their choosing. (It may not even be clear to the person themselves  at the time
of their passing, from the limited point of view of their mind ; however ,
I do believe the soul always has clarity , purpose, and intention with
regards to when and how a person dies.) I also believe that physical “death” allows us an opportunity to
rejoin with the Oneness that is our fundamental nature. In other
words, we can move out of the Realm of the Relative—where things
appear to be “separate”—an d return to the Realm of Pure Being
(followed by the Realm of the Absolute), where we once again know
and experience (at the moment of our passing) the feeling of being
One with everything . And finally , as we touched on in the last chapter of Part 1,
humanity’ s fundamental impulse is to continually grow, evolve, and
change . If we were to remain in one physical body forever , we wouldbe denying this impulse and restricting ourselves at the most
fundamental level. So I believe death brings an additional gift when we begin to
see it not strictly as an “ending,” but also as a beginning , allowing us
to embark on the next most glorious and exciting phase of our soul’s
journey—moving first through the Realm of the Spiritua l and then
back into the Realm of the Physical, over and over again, through
the multiplicity of lifetimes we are of fered. I’ll pass  it on to Neale now, to expand on the spiritual part of
this answer . . . NEALE: In addition to what you’ve offered above, I would say that
death is, spiritually speaking,  an integral part of life—and  so asking
why death exists is like asking why life exists. Life and death exist side-by-s ide, in tandem with each other, for
the reason that a pendulum swings, that a planet orbits, that a solar
system swirls. It’s about motion. All of life is motion. Nothing stands
still. Nothing. Take a rock and put it under high-powered
magnification and all you will see are particles, moving. Growing old and dying is part of the cyclical process of life
itself. Everything is cyclical. Everything. Not only is everything
moving, everything is moving in a particular way. Everything is
moving in a pattern—which we can call cycles. This pattern is
predictable and observable. It is fundamental metaphysics. The suns of our universe “grow old” and “die.” And new suns
are born. Everything in existence—every single thing—“grows old
and dies.” Even so-called inanimate objects ultimately disintegrate,
falling apart and turning to dust, given billions or trillions of years.Because it takes so long for certain cycles to complete themselves
does not mean that a cycle is not occurring. The life cycle of a planet
or a solar system may be billions or even trillions of years. The life
cycle of a mayfly ranges from a half hour to . . . for a really elderly
mayfly . . . one day . We see, then, that to everything there is a season, and a time
for every purpose under Heaven. A time to live and a time to die. A
time to sow and a time to reap that which has been sown. Everything in existence has a life cycle. And this cycle has
been misunderstood. Notice that I have called it a life cycle, not a
life-and- death cycle. And notice that I have referred to it as a life
cycle , not a life span. A span is generally understood to have a
beginning and an end. A cycle does not. It is not a straight line, but
rather , a circle. My metaphysical understanding is that there are no straight
lines in the Universe. What may appear to be a straight line is simply
an enormous circle, a portion or section of which is so long, it seems
to not be curving at all. Its curvature is too gradual to be seen. Yet
ultimately , every “straight” line has a horizon, and so its straightness
appears to “end.” But no “straight” line ever ends, but is finally seen
for what it is: that which has no end, but merely continues in a circle. Human life likewise appears to “end,” and likewise does not,
but merely continues its cycle. “Death” is simply a process of re-
identification, through which the mind and the body unde rstand and
experience themselves to be parts of a Three-Part Being that
includes and arises from the soul, which lives forever .Question #7:
 
SPIRITUAL HEALI NG
 
 
You speak in this book about triggering the patient’s “spiritual
response mechanism” for healing. What is spiritual healing and does
it really exist? When western medicine “fails me,” are there spiritual
things I can do to increase my chance of a cure? DR. COOPER: To answer your question of how can one know
whether the possibility of spiritual healing exists, I would like to divert
for a moment and talk about the feeling of falling in love. Most of us
have experienced it at least once in our lives—that feeling of being
with someone  and sharing such a powerful bond, such a deep-
seated soul-based connection, that it defies all logical thought. How do you know  that you are “in love”? How do you know  that
someone is “the one”? Ask people these questions, and 99 times out
of 100 they will tell you, “I don’t know how I knew , I just knew .” Love
is one of the strongest energies we feel in our lives, and all of us
know that this is something that can be felt but not measured. Similarly , it seems to me, are the various types of spiritual or
energetic healings .We can leave a Reiki energy healing, or a “de-cording” session,
or receive an “energetic surgery” from John of God, and we can feel
a difference in ourselves—in our health and wellbeing—even though
this difference has not yet been measured or proven, or for that
matter ever validated, in any scientific or conventional medical trials. While I, as a medical doctor , do not endorse “spiritual healing”
as something that can be guaranteed, counted on, or trusted to
“work without fail,” at the same time I do not dismiss it. That is, even
though there is no evidence that it works in any conventional medical
trials , I keep my mind open to the possibility . (With the caveat, of
course, that a “cure” must be in the best interest of a perso n’s overall
Spiritual Journey , as was discussed earlier in the book . . . and note
that this is not always the case .) Having been trained as a western medical doctor , I will say
upfront that I do not know what specific strategies alternative or
spiritual healer s use. So to answer the second part of your question,
What can I do to increase my chance of cure? (assuming western
medicine has done all it can and is still unable to help you), let me
double back for a moment to the chapter on medical miracles in Part
1. Here we note that acceptance, gratitude, and even celebration
for the challen ges (health-re lated or otherwise) that we face in our
lives form the “energetic framework” from which any medi cal miracle
could and possibly would come to pass. In other words, these are
the basic states of being that facilitate such physical changes
occurring . . . if they are going to occur at all. We go on to note that one is well-advised not to count on, or
expect, a miracle, however , as we do not want people to feelsomehow metaphysically “wrong” for either: (a) having “attracted” the
disease to themselves in the first place, or (b) being unable to “cure”
it. We also explain that, in our view, “healing” does not always
equate to “curing the physical ailment.” It could very well mean
something else, such as easing the transition to death when a soul is
ready to move on, or choosing to live with a certain physical condition
or challenge in order to, at a spiritual level, most fully facilitate the
gifts one has chosen to bring forth in this lifetime. And it is important
to understand this distinction, because western medicine will promote
the idea that “healing” and “cure” are synonymous, when
metaphysically speaking they are not. From a spiritual perspective, then, we invite people to see the
perfection of whatever is occurring, knowing that, although their
health conditio n may appear to be challenging or adversarial or
“unwanted” at the surface level, when we look beyond the body and
the mind and begin to see into the perspective of the soul,  we come
to see that no “healing” what soever needs  to take place in order for
every golden moment of Now to be absolutely perfect as it is. If there were  “healin g” to be done, I would suggest the first and
foremost thing to do would be to heal any small  or false thoug ht ever
we held about Who W e Are. In the words of Paramahansa Yogananda, “To know God is the
most important way to heal all disease—physical, mental, and
spiritual”18—and I believe that “knowing God” is remembering that
we are each Divine and that, given Who We Are, nothing can occur
in our lives that does not serve us in some way. This does notpreclude  the possibility of physical healing or of a physical cure, but
it does bring us to the place where we no longer require  it. So getting to the last part of your question: what can you, as an
individual, do from a spiritua l or alternative medicine perspective to
increase your chance of cure? First of all, I would be attentive to your physical health as best
as you can. Make an effort to follow the prescription of Paramahansa
Yogananda: “proper eating, exercise, fresh air and sunshine,
hygiene, physical and mental relaxation, and conscious recharging
of the Life Force.”18
Second, make use of any other “healing resources” as it
pleases you to do so, be it acupuncture, bio-energy healing, positive
thinking and visualization, or whatever else you find compelling. There are countless real-life anecdotes and stories showing that
these methods work and can be of great assistance to people. Third—and perhaps most importantly of all—do not be afraid to
look within yourself . When  adversity strikes (health-related or
otherwise), I invite you to get quiet inside and to tap into the
resources you always have at your disposal. Listen to your own inner
wisdom to the point where you once again allow yourself, as we said
just a moment ago, to heal any small or false thought you ever held
about Who Y ou Are. When you remember  Who You Really Are (an aspect of Divinity
who cannot be hurt or harmed in any way)—and move into
acceptance, gratitude , and celebration  for whatever is occurring—at
this point you become metaphysically “immune” to the negative
emotional effects of any so-called illness, even if the illness itself
does not disappear .So cure or no cure, living another ten years or living only one
more day, always know that nothing— so-called negative health
outcome or otherwise —can deny you the opportunity to express and
to experience, right here and right now, the very highest version of
Who Y ou Are. NEALE: “Healing” is best defined as the end of suffering. It is not
necessarily the end of pain,  or of a condition that causes it. The
essence of healing is seeing. It is seeing another person or the Self
in True Identity . When we see another , or ourselves, as Who We
Really Are, we end all thought that something is occurring which
should not be occurring. In doing so, we end all resistanc e to it. The
ending of resistance is the beginning of healing. Healing is not about changing any condition or circumstance,
but about changing our experience of it. Often a dramatic shift in our
internal holding of a health condition can have an effect on the
external presentation of the condition itself. We must always
remember this: Energy is an Effect that affects the Effect Itself. Think of it as you would think of wind. Wind has an effect on
wind itself. If it is a little windy outside and a stronger gust of wind
comes along, the wind outside is affected by the wind that came
along. W e say the wind has “picked up.”
In precisely the same way, the energy can shift. Only it shifts
from fast to slow when it moves from agitation to peace, or from
resistance to acceptance, blessing, gratitude, and celebration. Remember this: the lower the energy vibe, the less physical and
the more metaphysical is the effect. The level of solidity with which
the Essential Essence is rendered physical is in direct proportion tothe speed at which that Essence vibrates. The higher or faster its
vibration, the more physical its manifestation. The lower or slower its
vibration, the less physical and the more metaphysical (or spiritual)
its manifestation. Visualize it this way: the faster the particles of energy move, the
more they create the experience of solidity. You would fall right
through the floor if the particles of energy were not moving so fast
that they are never in one place for more than a trillionth of a nano-
second. This means they are virtually “everywhere at once,” and you
can’t move fast enough to fall through them or get past them. Like the
blades of a fan or the spokes of a bicycle wheel, they produce what
appear to be solid surfaces. Therefore, to put something firmly in place, giving it the illusion
of solidity , let yourself be agitated. W atch how real things become. Is spiritual healing possible? In my belief, absolutely . Every
doctor in the world will tell you that a patient’ s attitude can be a huge
factor in recovery , or healing. The more “at peace” a patient is about
their condition (that is, the less agitated or rapid is the vibration of
their energy), the more they create the space for energy to shift. It is
the dif ference between a calm breeze and a stormy gust. I like to think of energy as The Breath of God. It’s my poetic
way of conceptualizing it. And I like to think of myself as an
Individuation of Divinity . Therefore, my breath is The Breath of God,
and my energy is the Energy of God. How I think— the energy I create when I think—is how I
“breathe” this energy . It is what I “inhale” and “exhale.” If I “take in”
negative energy or “send out” negative energy , I will experience
negativity .What this comes down to is that it feels clear to me that I affect
my exterior reality—with regard to health and everything else—by
what I allow my mind to take in and send out. My life experience has
validated this. That having been said, resist not any exterior condition. If your
exterior physical condition does not change, know that this is not
what “healing” is about. As I said, healing is about changing your
interior experience of your exterior condition. Seeing everything as
perfect causes everything to be perfect, and therefore for suffering to
end, for “suffering” is nothing more than an interior experience arising
out of a decision that what is occurring should not be occurring. Yet
suffering can be greatly reduced, if not eliminated altogether,
whatever the exterior presentation of one’s physical expression. Women in the moments leading up to, and including, childbirth
demonstrate this every day. People in the moments leading up to,
and including, death may do so also. In truth, there is no such thing as death. All death is a giving
birth.Question #8:
 
DEFINING GOOD HEALTH
 
 
How do you define good health from both
a medical and a spiritual perspective? DR. COOPER: The body is said to be at peak physiological
functioning  in a person’ s twenties and, for most people, it steadily
declines after that. Therefore, from a medical perspective , it seems
to me that “good health”—or “optimal health,” I should say—would
be along the lines of a healthy and fit twenty-something-year-old. By conventional medical standards, then, all symptoms of
“aging” would be viewed as strikes against our health. So when it
comes to our health, we would be fighting an uphill battle as our lives
move along even if we took excellent care of our bodies , to say
nothing of those who abus ed their bodies with alcohol, drugs,
smoking, a poor diet, or a sedentary lifestyle, or those  who are
plagued by illnesses at any point in their lives. Even though the medical profession defines such things as
“relative good health” —such as for a “healthy” 80-year-old compared
to other people in their eighties, or for a “healthy” 50-year-old
compared to other people in their fifties, the medical profession’ sview of health  defines it as something that, in general, continues to
decline over the course of one’s life. It is a battle that 100 percent of
the time results in “failure,” or death, and it is simply a race against
time to see how far we can “push of f” that inevitable outcome. To me this is a very uninspiring and non-optimistic point of view
on health. And although doctors themselves may bring a positive,
helping attitude (those of them who have “good beside manner”), the
medical profession nevertheless uses, as we have said several
times now, a crude measuring stick for health and wellness , and one
that, in my eyes, denies the true nature of Who W e Are. Our spiritual health and wellbeing, on the other hand, is an
entirely dif ferent concept, with a much broader scope and definition. I would describe someone who is in “optimal spiritual health” as
someone who recognizes that physical life is designed primarily to
move forward the Agenda of the Soul. They would, in turn, carry out the activities of their life in
accordance with this agenda. And note that this would be possible
whether they are in so-called “good physical health” or not! For instance, let’s consider breast-cancer survivors “dragon-
boating” down the Gorge Waterway in Victoria BC, Canada, where
I’m from (this is an event that goes on regularly).19
These individuals may not have the best health history , and are
often still at a heightened risk of relapse down the road, but a great
many of them remain active in the community , raising awareness for
breast cancer (the point of the dragon-boat races is to raise
awareness about the disease), and often living a life very much in
tune with what matters to their soul.In fact, I can’t count how many patients I have interviewed at
the Cancer Agency whose quality of life, spiritually speaking, has
actually increased after a presum ably “devastat ing diagnosis,” as it
caused them to reconsider  the whole point of what their life is about. And, following the diagnosis, they then began to live in a way
that served the Agenda of their Soul, as opposed to simply gathering
the “physical accouterments” of life without paying much attention to
things of deeper meaning and value. So what is the Agenda of the Soul?,  one might very well ask at
this point. The Agenda of the Soul is to bring forth the qualities within
ourselves that we view as most central to our humanity and, in
particular , to the highest way that we can see ourselves “showing up”
in this world. And this might look slightly different for everyone. For the caregiver of an aging parent with dementia, it may
mean “showing up” in a way that is caring, compassionate, patient,
and unconditionally loving, despite the challenges of playing such a
role in another ’s life. For the parent of a new baby, it may mean loving that baby so
much that you sacrifice other aspects of your life in order to care for
and nurture him or her during these pivotal years of growth and
development. And for a medical doctor , it may mean offering healing  not only
through the prescriptions you write, but also through your presence
and way of being with your patients . A simple way to put it would be to say that the Agenda of our
Soul is to bring forth Divine states of being. In other words , to bring
to phys icality , through the gift of our current lifetime, the literal down-to-Earth, on-th e-ground experience of Divinity that could not be
achieved in the Spiritual Realm alone. And when we begin to experience ourselves in this way, we
immediately fall in love with the feeling! Ask anyone who has truly
tried this way of living and they will tell you that the joy and fulfillment
it brings is incomparable to almost anything else they have
experienced in their life. And there is a reason for this. It is because we are tapping  into
the real reason we have come to the planet to begin with. In other
words, we are aligned with our true purpose  (which, by the way, has
nothing to do with what we are “doing” and everything to do with how
we are “being” . . . a point that is explored at length in the
Conversations with God  dialogues). When we begin to live in this way, we immediately become
compelled to share it with others, in hopes that they, too, may feel
the profound sense of joy and purpose that we feel. And we begin
“giving people back to themselves”—a term used frequently in
Conversations with God to mean showing others back to the truth of
Who They Are (as Divine entities having a physical experience upon
the Earth),  just as we, too, have come to remember this powerful
and life-changing truth about Who W e Really Are. So in this sense everyone is a healer , whether we have a
medical degree (or some other spiritual or alternative healing
credential) or not. Each of us holds the capacity to walk upon this
Earth in a way that is Divine  and, in doing so—as we heal our own
false thoughts of who we thought we were, and step into our True
and Highest Self— we may also heal others of any false thoughts
about Who They Are .And this summarizes what I believe it means to be spiritually
healthy , and spiritually thriving. So as we bring this book to a close, I invite you all—as readers
—to go forth on your journey as the grandest version of the greatest
vision ever you held about Who You Are. You are nothing  less than
Divine, and it is time that you truly know this about yourself. And I invite you now to live it —more than you ever have before. You will find that in doing so your “spiritual health” will soar . . . and I
would not be surprised if you notice improvements in your physical
health and well-being as well. For the two are fundamentally linked,
and your physical being is the greatest platform ever on which to
bring forth the qualities of Divinity Itself. NEALE: I think the good doctor has stated it perfectly . “Good health”
is simply knowing Who You Are (an Individuation of Divinity)—and
then, demonstrating that. I join in Dr . Cooper ’s invitation. Blesséd be.References
 
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States.” Published in July , 2014. A vailable at:
http://www .guttmacher .org/pubs/fb_induced_abortion.html
17. Katelyn V erstraten. Toronto Star  article: “Surprise! Disabled
people have sex.” Published October 5, 2014. A vailable at:
http://www .thestar .com/news/insight/2014/10/05/surprise_disabled
_people_have_sex.html18. Paramahansa Y ogananda. “Quotes on Healing.” A vailable at:
http://www .yogananda.com.au/gurus/yoganandaquotes05b.html
19. Breast Cancer Survivor Dragon Boat T eam—V ictoria BC, Canada.
Where_God_and_Medicine_Meet-_Neale_Donald_Walsch.txt
Summarize the following text section accurately and concisely. Maintain specific details and numerical information, and use anti-repetition mechanisms:

        For example, as a caregiver for someone with dementia, do
you choose to be frustrated, annoyed, and possibly even resentful
for the burden it places upon you. Or, do you choose to be patient,
caring, and compassionate. Do you choose to see and to remember
the best in the person, even at moments when they forget who you
are, and at moments where they perhaps act out in anger or rage. This may sound like an obvious question, but it is a hard choice
to actually live out, day-to-day, when someone you love appears tobe completely disoriented to the world (as occurs in severe
dementia). It can be especially challenging when a loved one
becomes troubled and unsettled, which occurs frequently in dementia
(leading to nighttime wandering, acting out, or forgetting social
etiquette, due to confusion). How can caregivers maintain a loving and compassionate
attitude in such a situation. How does one not spiral downward into
sadness, depression, anger, and resentment for such an
overwhelming condition. In my understa nding, there is no spiritual “requirement” that we
show up in any particular way—and no “soul lesso n” that is
mandated by the Universe  for us to learn—but there is an
opportunity. And we are invited to use this opportunity, this situation,
to demonstrate our highest  idea of Who We Are in relationship to
what is occurring. Regarding the patient—the one with the dementia—I will take a
slightly differen t stance. I still do not believe there is a “soul lesson”
to be learned, but I do believe that the medical profes sion could
handle dementia, on the whole, differently, so as to allevia te some of
the suf fering that I, personally, view as unnecessary. I believ e this relates back to our discussion on eutha nasia
earlier in the book, and to our willingness—as physicians and as a
society—to take the time to talk to people about their “goals of care”
(things such as Advance Directives, which startlingly, only 33 percent
of elderly patients in the Unite d States have in writing)14 prior to their
mental state deteriorating to the degree that such conversations can
no longer take place in a meaningful way. I think we would be doing people a great service  by clarifying
what physical or mental cond itions they are willing to live with, and
which ones they are not—so that we would be able to help them end
their life when  their condition (physical or mental) deteriorated past
this point. I would also like to mention here that the majority of people  who
live long enough to get dementia (not all of them, but a great many of
them) are alive in large part thanks to western medicine. That is, if
we did not have treatments  available for heart disease, diabetes,
kidney disease, infections, and a whole host of other conditions,
these people likely would have passed on long before dementia
struck. (For instance, if humanity were “living in the wild” without
access to medical treatments, few people would ever survive to the
point of getting dementia in the first place. ) Therefore, if we, as western medical doctors, are in large part
responsible for keeping people alive to the point where they then
move into dementia, are we not also responsible for helping them to
“leave,” or to “exit” the physic al plane, once their condition (physical
or mental) has deteriorated to the point of no longer being
functional. Would this not equally be our responsibility. (Assuming,
of course, that they have stated in an Advance Directive  that this
would be their first choice. ) It was never brought up in my medical training, but it is
something that has lingered in my mind from the very first nursing
home visits I made, when I saw before my own eyes the struggle
that so many endure as a result of dementia. And I remember
thinking to myself in those  moments, “My goodness, if we, asmedical doctors, have brought people to this place, is it not also our
responsibility to help them on their way ‘out’. ”
So I would close by saying that dementia, in my view, is a
condition that humanity could handle differently. And I see those who
“suffer from dementia” as providing the impetus for world change. or at least for the changing viewpoints of both the medical profession
and the legal system around how we, as a culture, handle “terminal
diagnoses. ”
In this way, the souls of these patients could very well be
accepting an invitation at a very high level—being willing to stand in
those shoes so that the rest of the world can awaken to a new way
of doing things, and so that a new medical protocol  for patients with
terminal diagnoses such as dementia (including planning “goals of
care” and the option  for euthanasia) could come into play. I will turn it over to you, now, Neale. if you have things to
add from a spiritual point of view. NEALE: I am going to say something here that is going to turn our
entire understanding and experience of “dementia” upside-down. First, I want to announce without hesitation or equivocation that
the person suffering from dementia is not doing so to “learn”
something—and neither is the situation occurring to allow the
caregiver to learn something. Spiritually, I have come to understand that life is not an
opportunity for us to learn, but an opportunity for us to demonstrate;
not an opportunity for us to DIS-cover, but an opportunity for us to
UN-cover, Who We Really Are. That is, the whole of life is not aprocess of discovery, but of recovery—or, if you wish, of
remembering our T rue Identity. Nor is this an individual process, but one in which all souls are
engaged collaboratively. We have co-created this experience we call
dementia, and have done so in families and clans where the
commitment to the greatest spiritual understanding is very, very high. This is true in my wife’s family. My wife Em is herself deeply
committed to doing whatever it takes to advance the evolu tion of her
soul—and to helping every human being around her do the same. I
want to share with you now something that she had on more than
one occasion explained to me when she came home after visiting
her father when he was living in a memory care facility. The person with dementia has let go of all prior notions of their
limited physica l identity. Their soul is still very much present (very
much), but their mind has released, one by one, every idea—literally,
every memory —of themselves that is confined to a single set of
facts, events, or circumstances. In a very real sense, they have become spiritually enlight ened. And that is why they will often say the most enlightened, seemingly
disconnected things. They also live completely in the present
moment, and so to us they seem disoriented, when, in fact, they are
oriented to Ultimate Reality, and to the Ever-present Moment of Now,
more profound ly than people who are still living inside of their
“container” are experiencing. After hearing this from Em, it came to me that in certain ancient
cultures, people who exhibited signs of what we today call dementia
were treated as honored masters in the clan, waited on hand and
foot, their every physical need served by the whole community withloving care, as an honor—because it was observed that these
members of the tribal family had achieved release from their mind
without having to leave their body to do so. This was considered the ultimate demonstration of
“graduation. ” The ultimate expression of mastery. The sadness of modern times is that our society has completely
reversed its understanding of this sacred condition, with it actually
being seen by many as almost a curse, or at the very least the
saddest event. Yet those who understand the true nature of the
experience, as did my wife, consciously decide to interact with their
elderly loved one on a soul level—and often find the most amazing
messages coming from them. These blessed  elders may have let go of their limited physical
identity, but they have not forgotten anything at a soul level—least of
all the truth and the wonder of Love. As my wife has told me—and
demonstrated every time she visited her father—simply treat them
with love and you’ll see them light up with the brightness of
recognition. Even if they don’t recognize your face, they will
recognize your essence. They will recognize love, and in this they
will surely know who you are. Em saw clearly that this is their gift to us. This is their reminder. By showing us who they really are throu gh the utter and complete
release of who they are not, they have shown us who we really are. At a time when the Earth’ s people could benefit from hearing
this message more loudly and more dramatically than ever before, it
is not surprising that cases of so-called “dementia” have reached
epidemic proportions. Souls are taking on the challenge. Souls are
embracing the mission. As their last act on Earth this time around,souls are accepting the ultimate assignment. We are being shown
Who W e Are, and who we are not, right in front of our faces. Let those who have ears to hear, listen. What a gift our elders
have given us in their final demonstration of love. Question #3
 
CONCERN ABOU T PRESCRIPTION
MEDICATIONS
 
 
I have borderline high cholesterol and my doctor
is recommending that I take statins. I fear the side effects of these drugs. What are some other options or ways
I can reduce my dependence on drug therapies. DR. COOPER: If your cholesterol is borderline high, your doctor will
likely support you in a trial of lifestyle methods to reduce your
cholesterol before asking that you start a statin medication. These
include increas ing your exercise, as well as modifying your diet to
contain less fats, in particular saturated fats. 15
Exercise, as we all know, has numerous benefits for the body,
and it has been shown to improve cholesterol as well. In particular,
aerobic exercise (things like running, walking, swimming, or riding a
bike—anything that raises your heart rate for at least 20-30 minutes)
promotes the formation of “good cholesterol” (HDL) as opposed to“bad cholesterol” (LDL). 15 Exercise also helps with weight loss, so for
people who are overweight this is another important benefit. Any exercise is better than no exercise (presuming you are not
physically restricted from exercise in any way). A good goal to aim
for is to work towards 20-30  minutes of moderate exercise at least
three times per week. When it comes to diet, the number one thing to signifi cantly
reduce if you are hoping to lower your cholesterol levels is your
consumption of fats and, in particular, saturated fats. 15 The current
medical guidel ines suggest that no more than 30 percent of your
daily calories should come  from fat, and it is important to be
especially attentive to this guideline for those with borderline high
cholesterol. An ideal breakdown (of your diet) would be approximately 20
percent of your calories from protein sources, 30 percent or less of
your calories from fat sources, and 50-60 percent of your calories
from carbohydrate sources (which include fruits and vegetables, as
well as other carbohydrate sources—preferably with lower “glycemic
indices,” such as whole grain breads, quinoa, or rolled or steel-cut
oats—as these are absorbed  more slowly into your bloodstream and
are better for your overall health). With these diet and exercise strategies in mind, it may be
helpful to know that most medical doctors (in Canada, anyway,
where I was trained) are taught to allow the patient to try “lifestyle
modifications” for about three months, and then to measure the
cholesterol levels once more. At the point of reassessment, if your
cholesterol levels are still high, your doctor will in all likelihood
suggest the statin medication again. The reason for this is thatcholesterol is an important risk factor for heart attacks and strokes,
which are, of course, medical outcomes we want to avoid. In addition to lifestyle changes and medications, someone
reading this book might also inquire about spiritual, or alternative,
methods of healing that migh t help to lower one’s cholest erol levels. In fact, I had one such person approach me at Neale’ s most recent
Homecoming Event (a program where he invites eight or ten people
to his home over the course of five days to explore in depth the
Conversations with God messages). This woman approached me and said, “I’ve decided to quit my
statin medication because I am spending more of my time doing
spiritual things so I figure I don’t need it anymore. What do you think,
Doctor. ” She did not tell me what those particular “spiritual things”
were that she was doing, but I can tell you that what I said to this
woman is what I would say to anyone asking me a question along
these lines. I told her that, having been trained as a medical doctor, I do not
know the efficiency or effectiveness of “alternative or spiritual
treatments. ” Do I believe they work. Of course I do. I have heard
enough stories, and enough accounts from various people, of these
sorts of “treatments” or “healings” having produced measurable
changes for the better in people’ s health. What I advise d this woman to do was to continue with the
treatments and healing processes of her choice, but to consider
scheduling a follow-up appo intment with her physician so that she
could at least know whether what she was doing was having the
desired impact. In other word s, she could then have an accurate
assessment (in the form of a numerical value from a blood test) as towhether or not her cholesterol levels were changing and improving
as a result of the steps she was taking. Now some people may not care; they may simply be opposed
to conventional western medicine and prefer to have nothing to do
with it. They may choose not to take the statin for the sole reason
that they are skeptical about drugs prescribed by weste rn medical
doctors. And I have encountered more than one person with this
point of view. But it is neverth eless my belief that one is well-advised
to at least consider all possible modes of healing. Also, if you begin the statin medication, there is nothing
preventing you from stoppi ng it down the road should you (a)
develop bother some side effects, or (b) have your cholesterol levels
reassessed and find that they are low enough that you no longer
need the drug. Always know that just because you start a medication
does not mean you need to stay on it forever. NEALE: I agree with you, Brit, here on all accounts. I think that one
of the healing tools that God has given our species is the knowledge
of how to use substances and approaches for healing— from the
earliest medici ne people in our clans and tribes who learn ed how to
use substances occurring naturally in our environment (the bark of
trees, the roots of plants, etc. ), to medical researchers and doctors
who have learned how to create substances developed in
laboratories—all toward the same end: to produce health and
healing in the human body. I do not personally subscribe to the notion that today’ s
pharmaceuticals and 21st century medical procedures are
antithetical to God’ s healing process. Rather, I see modern medicineas part of it—even as the whole world can be part of the process by
which all sentient beings may use every aspect of life as a means of
healing every and any False Thought they may hold about
themselves. (We spoke about this in Section One of this book, when
we explored the fact that our world and our lives very often  seem out
of control. ) Spirituality and Medicality (I just made up a great word. ) are not
opposite ends of a spectrum, but rather, component parts of the
whole range of energy expre ssions of which life Itself is comprised. Thus, I think neither spirituality nor medicality are profitably
dismissed out of hand. Interestingly, spiritual messe ngers and medical doctor s are
usually the last persons to do so. It is usually a skeptic al public—
those who in every instance doubt the efficacy of spiritual healing
and those who in every instance question the benefits of modern
medicine—who issue such proclamations. What I am saying is that modern medicine and contemp orary
spirituality are not juxtaposed. And let me tell you that it has been my
experience and my observation that what a person believes can
have a huge influence on what occurs in a person’ s life. If, for instance, you deeply believe that you have good reason to
fear the side effects of certain drugs, such as statins (and by the way,
there are some side effects of certain medicines that even the
medical profession warns should be paid attention to, and should be
reported to your doctor immediately, at the very first sign of even a
hint of such reactions), you should have a very serious discussion
with your doctor to ascertain that she or he has no doubts
whatsoever that a particular medicine is safe, and why. And if eventhen you remain convinced that there is something to fear, I would
move very cautiously around taking that drug. If you don’t believe in
what your doctor is telling you, you’re going to be energetically
working against the energy of the medicine itself. I don’t happen to be one of those who believe that all allopathic
physicians are in the hip pocket of the pharmaceutical industry and
will repeat whatever they’re told to say. My experience in life has
been that the vast, vast majority of doctors are no different in terms
of their integrity level than you and I, that they work hard at keeping
up with the research and latest findings of the most objective medical
studies they can find, spend ing hours of reading to make  sure that
they are not prescribing medication for their patients that are going to
do more harm than good. You wouldn’t deliberately cheat or harm another, nor would you
be so careless  as to run a very high risk of seriously hurting (much
less killing) another, and I have no reason to believe that your doctor
is less of a good human being than you are. (Are there some bad actors among our doctors. Of course
there are. Is nearly every doctor in this group. No. Stop. Period. End
of sentence. ) This does not mean that you should do anything your doctor (or
anyone else) says. In the end, you have to listen to yourself, and to
what your intuition tells you, and then peacefully go where it takes
you. Question #4
 
ABOR TION
 
 
I was sexually assaulted and became pregnant, and I am not sure
whether to continue with the pregnancy. Is abortion okay.
The text suggests that one should choose to be patient, caring, and compassionate, as this approach can help alleviate suffering and demonstrate one's highest idea of who they are in relationship to the situation.
As a caregiver for someone with dementia, should you choose to be patient, caring, and compassionate, or frustrated, annoyed, and resentful?
The text suggests that increasing exercise and modifying your diet to reduce saturated fats can be effective in reducing cholesterol levels.
What are some lifestyle changes that can help reduce cholesterol levels?