Too many times  a therapist will say, “Why do you think you always
pick the same man?” when perhaps it would serve the client best if the
therapist asked,  “Why do you think you always act a certain way with
men?” In other words, why do you push love away? You seem to pick the
same man because you keep acting the same way . In many cases, contemporary psychotherapy has become a cult of
blaming someone else. Often it’s the ego’s hotbed of grievances and
victimization, using modern buzzwords like “trauma” and “narcissist” to
pretty much explain everything. While those words are meaningful and
carry significant messages given by important voices in the culture, they
shouldn’ t be cookie-cutter solutions applied  to every singl e issue. They’ve
been cheapened so much at this point that they’re used as a description, an
excuse, an almost jingoistic label slapped onto every problem. And notice
how rarely the problem seems to be you. While your therapist is explaining that the person you dated was
probably a narcissist, consider whether that person might be talking to their
therapist on the other side of town and hearing that you are! The ego just
loves to talk about other people’ s issues, and brilliantly ignores our own. I spent years in and out of thera py, and often with smart and very wise
people. But I think I would have been better served if I’d been coddled
much less and busted much more. Therapy should not be a place where we
are bolstered in our belief that we’re weak, or victimized, or forever
harmed. It should be a place where we are aided in letting go of the barriers
that stand in front of our hearts, that the love that is all around us might
enter in and give us peace. “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all of the
barriers within yourself that you have built against it”* (T-338). Most of us,
if we’re honest with ourselves, could write down on a piece of paper some
of the things we do that drive other people crazy . And if we don’t know
what those things are, our best friends could probably tell us. It’s our own behavioral patterns  more than anything else that deprive us
of love. We continue to grasp for love, when usually what we most need to
do is identify the ways we push it away . Our souls are swim ming everymoment in an ocean of love, for that is God’ s universe. But the ego is truly
a sly opponent, being, after all, our own mind turned against us. The biggest
mistakes I’ve made in love I actually thought were a good idea at the time. Send love to your friends, to your family , to your customers, to your
clients, to your boss, to your colleagues, to your employees, to the people
you know, to the people you don’t know , to your president, and yes—to that
ex-president too. Send love to Nancy Pelosi and to Marjorie Taylor Greene. Jesus would. Martin Luther King Jr. said, “God said I have to love my
enemies; He didn’ t say I have to like them.”
The world we’re living in today is saturated by a mental poison. It is
more than toxic; it’s hateful. And all of us know it. None of us can afford to
sit out the process of doing what we can to de-escalate the madness. And it has to start with us. With every thought we think we’re either
adding to the solution or adding  to the problem. Either our heart is opened
or our heart is closed. There is a way to disagree, to set boundaries, even to
oppose behavior  that is intolerable, without withholding love. That is the
message of Jesus. It is as radical today as it was two thousand years ago. While I was writing this book, focusing deeply and sincerely on what it
would mean to truly deeply love, my assistant made an administrative
mistake, and I made a snark y comment. Sometimes people have the
extraordinary audacity not to do exactly what we want them to do. Shocking, but it happens. That’ s what makes a relationship the ultimate teaching and learning
opportunity . The point is not that other people have to change, but that we
do. The work is always on ourselves. The ego is certain that a relationship
will be fine as soon as the other person starts acting differently . But the fact
that we can’ t accept them as they are acting now is the actual problem. What a victim I was! Couldn’ t she see that I was trying to write a book
and I needed support here, dammit?!? There was a time in my life when I would have seen the situation that
way—as simply  about me not attracting the support I neede d. But this
wasn’ t some random event ironically at odds with the book  that I was
writing. It was an exact reflection  of the book I was writing. The fact that
I’m writing abou t these things brought up all the ways in which  I’m not yet
living them. That is how perfectly the cosmic computer works. If my only response to an assistant who doesn’ t do as I wish is simply to
get angry, then I’m limiting my ability to find the words or behavior thatcan help her do better . It also keeps me from having larger clarity about the
relationship as a whole. This isn’ t about her . It’s about me. But what about healthy boundaries? When is it okay to hold someone
else accountable ? I threw such questions at Jesus as I made a cup of coffee
and slammed shut a cabinet door. “Yeah, I’m sorry you’re going through
this” was all I could imagine him saying at the time. I know it’s okay to set healthy boundaries, disagree when necess ary, and
hold someone else accountable. But all those things can and must be done
with respect and love. When we attack another person, we’re wrong even if
we’re right. The issues we’re here to monitor are our own. My ego would argue that the problem was her behavior; the Spirit
points out that the problem is my anger . Situations such as that will
continue as long as I consistently push up against the same wall. But the
wall isn’t going to give; I have to. That wall is the place—and most of us
have one—at which point we can’t see how to act with love and still get our
needs met. But we’re going to have to learn. The situation is going to repeat
itself until we do. So what do we do in such situat ions? Pray for a miracle. Pray for a shift
in perception. Say you’re willing to see the situation dif ferently . Sit down, breathe, pray, and your perceptions will begin to shift. As
your mind begins to calm down, one of two things will happen:
1. Your guidanc e will be to say nothing, to absorb the moment and just
let it pass. OR
2. Your guidance will be that something does need to be said, but you’ll
be given the wisdom to say what you need to say at just the right time and
in just the right way. You’ll be guided not only in what you should say but
in who to be while you’re saying it. The Holy Spirit doesn’t handle
situations for you, but turns you into a person who knows how to handle
them yourself. The main point is to see that the problem is within yourself; therefore so
is the solution. If you think the only solution is to find someone else to
fulfill whatever function you had assigned to that person, you’ll simply
attract someone else who acts the same way, or whom you subconsciously
set up to act the same way , until your eyes are opened to the real issue: you! The universe is intentional. It is always nudging us to be better , and if
that means putting people in our lives who make us have to confront ourown barriers to love, then it will. “This is my commandment, that ye love one another , even as I have
loved you” (John 15:12, ASV). To say this is easy; to live it is hard. That’ s why the mystic Jesus is so
relevant and important. Whether through religion or psychotherapy , the
world is in desperate need today of lessons in how to love. Both are the healing of the mind. Religion is limited when it lacks
psychological astuteness, and psychotherapy is limited when it lacks
spiritual understanding. There are voices within both these days
transforming them into genuinely spiritual pursuits. Whether in
psychotherapy or at a religious service, the greatest gift we can receive is a
reminder to give more love. The ego loves to use both religion and psychotherapy for its purposes,
and clearly that includes the Christian religion as much as any other . But
there’ s no legitimate conversation about Jesus that’s not a conversation
about love. Reclaiming the radic alism of love is the only way of claiming a
radical relationship with Jesus, and the radical love of Jesus is the true
nature of the self. OceanofPDF .comRelationship to God
Every circumstance involves a relationship: our relationship to God, our
relationship to ourselves, our relationship to other people, or our
relationship to the world. Some would say we have no relationship to God because there is no
God. There are just atoms and particles that make up an amazing but
ultimately mean ingless goop. That means we’re floating in a random
universe where whatever meaning life has for us is the meaning  we bring to
it. That’s a respe ctable existenti al argument, but it’s a lonely one. It leaves
us very much on our own. It posits no “cosmic companionship ,” as Martin
Luther King Jr. referred to the Holy Spirit’ s presence in our lives. If you
believe you’re on your own, in your experience then you will be. This gives
no sense of comfort, denying ourselves our inheritance of either power or
love. Then there are those who do believe in God but see Him as a
judgmental long-bearded man in the sky, just waiting for us to screw up and
not do what He told us to do so He can send us to the depths of hell. Such a
God is a God made in man’ s image rather than the other way around. The
notion of an angry God is a projection creat ed by angry people. Feeling
guilty , they assumed they deserved punishment. They therefore concocted
the image of a God who would mete out all the punishment they felt they
deserved. I can’t imagine that any of those people have made it to chapter 3
of this book. Then there are those who believe in a loving God yet don’t understand
how such a God would tolerate hungry children, global poverty , and endless
wars. Interesting , that, because it’s the question He has for us. Hungry
children, global poverty , and endless wars are a product of man’ s misuse of
power , not God’ s.Created with free will, we can think and do whatever we wish to think
and do. God Himself will not save us from the consequences. The Law of
Cause and Effect was created for our protection, and He does not violate
His own law . What He will do, and has done, is create the help we need in order that
we might choose more wisely . Asking Him to heal the world means asking
Him to turn us into the people who will do it for ourselves. Our relationship to God is, if we allow it to be, our most intimate
relationship. His is a voice that is always there to whisper in our ear. He is
closer than our breath to us. Our communion with him, our melding into
him, is the repair of our person alities and the restoration of our souls. For
many , the mystic Jesus is part of that repair . As far as the hungry children are concerned, this isn’t about our waiting
for God to work a miracle. God is waiting for us to do that. He has a very
simple answer to our prayers about this. His answer is “Feed them.”
And we should do so now . OceanofPDF .comRelationship to Self
Your holine ss is the salvation of the world. It lets you teach the world that it is one with you, not
by preaching to it, not by telling it anything, but merely by your quiet recognition that in your
holiness ar e all things blessed along with you. * (WB-37)
One of our most difficult relati onships is our relationship to self. We
tend to do to ourselves what we do to others: we withhold approval, judge
harshly , punish severely . And we’re never too sure why. The ego doesn’ t tell
us we did something wrong; it just tells us that we are wrong. I used to wonder , in my young er, self-hating days, if maybe I’d done
something so terrible I’d suppressed it and didn’ t remember . I couldn’ t
figure out why I felt such disgust toward pretty much everything about
myself. There is a lesson repeated a few times in the Course —“I am as God
created me”* (T-667)—that says all of us are perfect, unalterable creations
in the mind of God. When I first read it, I cried. It formed a crack in what
felt like a stone wall in front of my heart. It had never occurred to me that
I’m innocent because God created me that way, and my mistakes have not
eradicated the divine perfection in which we were all created. God created
us perfe ct becau se He is perfect, and everything created is created in His
image. It’ s such an enormous concept, so infinitely merciful. There was once a law in various places around the country stating that if
a criminal was on the run from police but made their way into a church then
they couldn’t be arrested. The state was acknowledging that in the eyes of
God, we are innocent. In the eyes of God, we are never guilty , because our
innocence is Real and our mistakes are not. But if the real me is eternally innocent, then what about the times when
I did something wrong? How do I have a good relationship with myself if I
hate something I did? What about the ghostly memories that haunt us in the
middle of the night, obsession over mistakes we made years ago, the “ifonly I’d done this or that” with which we frequently torment ourselves? “If
only I hadn’ t been so stupid” is one of the biggest guns in the ego’ s arsenal. One of the absurd faux-spiritual  truisms out there is that you can’t make
a mistak e. Oh, yes, you can, and some of us have made enough of them to
know it. Telling yourself that a mistake was not a mistake, if in fact it was,
is not the way to dissolve the guilt you feel because of it. There is a far more functional, successful way of dealing with this than
through trying to suppress our obsessive thoughts. The way to dissolve the
self-hatred we feel at such times is through the power of the Atonement. The Atonement is God’ s greatest gift, but the choice is given to us
whether to activate its power in our lives. This is how it works. You go back
to the moment when you made  the mistake, and you own it. You look it
squarely in the eye; you realize what a lack of love for yourself or others
such a moment entailed. You’ll  see more clearly what was going on with
you when you made the mistake. In such momen ts in my own past I’ve come to realize that in those
moments I was scared; but I also realized that in those moments I was
irresponsible. I either did not know yet or was not practiced yet at asking
the Holy Spirit for direction before making my decisions. And in that, I
betrayed myself. God was there, but I didn’ t turn to Him. Even when we have been most mistaken, the person who we might have
been—the way we might have behaved, had the ego not held us in its grip
—is an image that has remained in God’ s mind. Jesus holds this image safe
in his hands until we are ready to express it. “I have saved all your
kindnesses and every loving thought you ever had. I have purified them of
the errors that hid their light, and kept them for you in their perfect
radiance”* (T -83). Living in this world, it can be hard. The ego speaks first and the ego
speaks loudest, which is why cultivating our capacity to listen to the small
inner Voice for God is so important. I’ve spent years of my life regretting
decisions I would not have made if I had simply given it the weekend to
think things through. The miracle of the Atonement is that you can go back to that moment
now. In any situation in which we failed to go for the love—failing to allow
the miracle that might have occurred and deflecting a miracle instead—the
miracle is held in trust for us until we are ready to receive it. Go back tothat moment now. Admit that you made the wrong decision, admit that you
didn’ t let the Holy Spirit guide your thoughts, and ask that it happen now . Contrition is miraculous. In ways you can’t imagine, life will catch up
with your change in consciousness. You will have a chance to play life
correctly where  you might have failed to do so before. A situation will
occur that shows you clearly that when you atoned, you were heard. God is an infinitely merciful God. Yes, we are accountable; but through
the grace of God we can begin again. The section from A Course in Miracles  that follows is one of its most
powerful tools in rewiring the way we perceive the past. . . . the first step in the undoing is to recognize that you actively decided wrongly , but can as
actively decide otherwise. Be very firm with yourself in this, and keep yourself fully awar e that
the undoing process, which does not come from you, is nevertheless within you because God
placed it there. Your part is merely to return your thinking to the point at which the error was
made, and give it over to the Atonement in peace. Say this to yourself as sincer ely as you can,
remembering that the Holy Spirit will r espond fully to your slightest invitation:
I must have decided wr ongly , because I am not at peace. I made the decision myself, but I can also decide otherwise. I want to decide otherwise, because I want to be at peace. I do not feel guilty , because the Holy Spirit will undo all the consequences of my wrong
decision if I will let Him. I choose to let Him, by allowing Him to decide for God for me. * (T -90)
All of us have been there. And having made mistakes, of course we
suffer. But remorse is a positive thing; only sociopaths are without it. Conscience is an aspect of the heart. The ego wants to stretch things out, to take the healthy processing of
our regrets and turn it into a permanent emotional bludgeon. Once again,
the ego is a trick. That does nothing more than delay the day when we go
about the business of acting now in a way we didn’ t act before. If you really
want to show God you’re sorry , go be a dif ferent person now . Another reason  we’re sometimes hard on ourselves, of course, is
because of the projections of other people. It might be an adult who told
you that you were worthless when you were a child, and you’ve internalized
their voice. It might be people who don’t even know you, but have created
or bought into a false narrative about who you are. Either way, their voices
are now inside your head convincing you of your lack of worth. One of my favorite Christmas carols is “O Holy Night,” containing this
extraordinary lyric: “Long lay the world in sin and error pining, till He
appeared and the soul felt its worth.” It doesn’ t matter who other peoplethink you are. Your inestimable  worth is established by God. Yes, we have
all made mistakes. But who we are, the innocence in which we were
created, is an inviolable essence. What God created cannot be altered. We
are perfect ideas in the Mind of God. Dear God,
I give to you the mistakes of my past. I recognize that in those moments I did not let love pr evail. May Y our Spirit enter my mind, as I surr ender those moments to Y ou. May my mistake be somehow useful in making me a better person now . Amen
OceanofPDF .comRelationship to Others
God loves all of us as one, for He created us as one. Our purpose is to
think as God thinks so we can love as He does. We cannot find right
relationship to God, or to ourselves, without right relationship to others. The
only way we can find peace or love is by giving it to each other , for we are
each other . It’s impossible for me to remember who I am unless I am
willing to remem ber who you are, and it’s impossible for me to remember
who you are without remembering who I am. When I told a friend, Andrea, about my experience viewing Salvator
Mundi , she told me of a similar experience she had had many years ago at
Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris. It was similar to mine in that she too felt
transported beyond the piece of art, but whereas I saw the realms of
tenderness and power , she saw the entirety of the human race. She saw that
Jesus was everyone. She saw that we are one. Relationships are assignments made by the Holy Spirit, part of an
intentional plan by which all beings will ultimately be reconciled with God. To be reconciled with God means to be reconciled with the love that is
within us. We don’t get to God simply by learn ing to love ourselves. We get
to God by learning to love each other . Relationships are temples of the Holy Spirit* (P-6). They are part of a
highly individualized curriculum by which we are each given maximal soul
growth opportunities, assigned to those with whom we can both teach and
learn. Relationships are where our strengths are strengthened, and our
weaknesses brought up for review. They are where we salute  the soul of
others or do battle with the soul of others. In intense relationships, we often
do both. Relationships are growth experiences, and life is simply a series of
lessons destined to be rehearsed until we learn them fully. You either let goof the past, or string it out and deny yourself and others the chance for a
different kind of future. The Holy Spirit brings us togeth er with people who are perfect matches
in terms of not just complementary strengths, but also complementary
wounds. That’ s why relationships are hard. Growth is messy , relationships
are messy, and love is messy . An intentional universe nourishes  the growth
of all living things, and often it’ s relationships that challenge us to grow . If we behave unlovingly , we shouldn’ t expect others to be okay with
that. We are responsible for how we present ourselves. Spiritual  growth is a
path to personal maturity , and the universe will move us along whether we
want it to or not. Every relationship, in fact every encounter , gives us the
opportunity as well as the challenge to rise to the perfection we’re capable
of. We can fall into the morass of our ego wounds, but we can also choose
not to. Jesus will help us if we ask him to. How often people abandon one another when the wound is too great and
the forgiveness too weak. And sometimes the consequences are tragic. It’s
often said that love brings up everything unlike itself, the ego never more
activated than when two people’ s hearts are joined. Everything comes up
for review and release, no ground more treacherous at times—or more holy
—than the ground of love. Jesus secures our connection to others because he is our connection to
others. Calling on him is a request for help that rings throughout the
universe and is capable of changing it. Dear Jesus,
Please take into your hands
my relationship with ________. Lift our r elationship to divine right or der. May a wave of for giveness come upon us both, dissolving all walls that would divide us. May
we only see the innocence in ourselves and in each other . Free us of our fears of love, Dear
God. Heal us of our wounds, that we might no longer wound each other . Amen
The only way to feel close to God is if we’re at least willing to grow
closer to people. And obviously  that’s not always easy. Relatin g to another
human being can be like looking in the mirror and starting to attack the
glass. Since on the level of mind there’ s no separation between us, what we
do to others we are doing to ourselves. When we attack anyone, even in ourminds, it is as though we are bringing a sword down on their head, but
actually it is falling on ours. This is from A Course in Miracles :
A jailer is not free, for he is bound together with his prisoner . He must be sure that he does
not escape, and so he spends his time in keeping watch  on him. The bars that limit him become
the world in which his jailer lives, along  with him. And it is on his freedom that the way to
liberty depends for both of them. Therefore, hold no one prisoner . Release instead of bind, for thus are you made free. The
way is simple. Every time you feel a stab of anger , realize you hold a swor d above your head. And it will fall or be averted as you choose to be condemned or free. Thus does each one who
seems to tempt you to be angry represent your savior from the prison house of death. And so you
owe him thanks instead of pain. * (WB-366)
We become willing to see the innocence in others, then, so that we
might no longer  be tempted to attack ourselves. Heaven is an awareness of
our oneness; therefore any thoug ht of lovelessness toward another denies us
the experience of heaven. The peace of heaven is entered two by two. If God created me perfect, then that means He created everyone else
that way as well. God loves you infinitely , yes, but so too He loves
everyone else. It’s difficult for the mortal mind to even grasp the infinitude
of God’s love, and Jesus will help us when we falter . He lifts the mind
above thoughts of separation, transcending fully the thinking of the world,
reminding us how to love another person that we might truly love ourselves. Life’ s relationship lessons are always occurring. There is no
insignificant encounter because  in God’ s eyes there are no insignificant
people. The lesson might be the ethical move we may or may not be
making; the kindness or patien ce we may or may not be showing; the
person who’ s helped us toward  whom we may or may not be showing
gratitude; the person we may be blaming when instead we could forgive. Every relationship is a lesson in learning how to claim, and express, the
love that is who we are. Any time two people join, it will be a holy or an unholy encounter . Either spirit or ego will have its way with us. We’ll either meet soul to soul
or mask to mask. Our spirits are always leaning toward each other , while
our egos are always leaning away . Yet the choice is always ours. If you’re about to meet someone , before
you even walk into the room where they are, the most powerful thing you
can do is to pray for their happiness. Pray to see their innocenc e. Pray that
God use the relationship for purposes of good. Pray that the relationshipblesses both of you, allowing you the opportunity to see each other ’s
innocence. See Jesus with his arms around you both. This directs your mind to the field you wish to inhabit, the realm of love
instead of fear. It sucks the oxygen out of thoughts like “I’m  afraid they
won’ t like me.” For where there is light there cannot be darkness. Where
the mind is attun ed to God, it cannot be attuned to neurotic thought. Jesus is
a method of attunement. He will lift both of you above the illusion of
separation to the field where you are one. Years ago I was invited to a business meeting with some women in New
York. I don’t know what made me such an abject failure at all this that day. I don’t rememb er not meditating that morning, although I do remember I
came to the meeting straight from the airport. The one thing I do know is
that on that day I definitely didn’ t practice what I preach. For whatever reason, I had a negative attitude from the moment I
entered the room. I even said to someone sitting next to me, “God, I hate
meetings like this, don’t you?” And that’s when I started to see what was
happening. I realized that every  woman at the table had a look on her face
somewhere between shock and serious disappointment. Clearly , they had
thought Marianne Williamson wouldn’ t be like this. They thought I would
be . . . well . . . nicer . That was severa l years ago, and I still feel a pang of embarr assment
every time I remember it. One thing it did for me, for sure, was to make me
take very seriously how important it is to bless a room before I enter . As we bless others, we are blessing ourselves. The love we’re seeking in
life is love that we ourselves must generate. The love we give will be
returned to us, and the love we withhold will be withheld from us. We
might not see this immediately , but the law is inviolable. Do unto others as
you would have others do unto you because they will. Or someone else will. An idea doesn’ t leave its source and what we put out will be returned to us. Love is always available, but it must be consciously chosen. The ego
very slyly resists this, so obsessed with the love we’re not getting that little
room is left to consider what love we might not be giving. The ego is
outraged at the thought that someone might not be loving us perfectly every
minute of every day . Like a scavenger dog, the ego seeks any scrap of evidence of our
brother ’s guilt. Maybe someone didn’ t fold their laundry correctly! Maybe
they had the audacity to disagree  with us about something! The ego will useanything to separate us from others. If I’m focused on your guilt, then by
definition I’m seeing you as different from me, therefore separa te from me. Thus the separation is fortified . Always vigilant on behalf of its survival,
the ego is the mind of constant judgment. Literally nothing and no one is
ever allowed to be good enough. It’s often only in retrospect that we realize how we blocked love in a
relationship; at the time we were so sure the guilty party was the other
person, then later realized we ourselves were no better . At the time, we just
thought we were setting boundaries! Standing up for ourselves! Refusing to
be codependent! In love we are often blind until it’s too late. For the ego is
our self-hatred often masquerading as self-love. Its insidious dictate in love
is “seek but do not find”* (T -343). All that is why it’s important to pray early , at the beginni ng of a
relationship. And then of course  to pray without ceasing. I’ve noticed that
when I don’t know how to deal with a situation in a loving  way—if it
triggers me or constricts my heart for whatever reason—as long as I pray, as
long as I’m willing to see things differently , Spirit comes rushin g to my aid. “I will come in response to a single unequivocal call”* (T -62). If we’re  willing to embody more love, opportunities as well as
challenges will appear . Whenev er you’re having a difficult moment in a
relationship, stop to ask yourself what you’re thinking about this person
right now that God would not be thinking, and what God would be thinking
about them that you are not. Simply asking the question will summon the
answer . God isn’ t looking at anyone thinking, “Damn, he’ s such a jerk.”
Freud said, “Intelligence will be used in the service of the neurosis”;
none of us is too “smart” to fall into the ego’s trap when it comes to
relationships. The cleverness of our own minds, after all, will be used in the
ego’s service if we allow it to be. The ego is suspicious at best and vicious
at worst. The only way to override it, to dissolve its influence, to cast it
back into the nothingness when ce it came, is to love so profoundly that it
doesn’ t have a chance. In moments when it seems too hard, one call and He will be there. OceanofPDF .comForgiveness
He will not tell you that your brother should be judged by what your eyes behold in him, nor
what his body’ s mouth says to your ears, nor what your fingers’  touch report of him. He passes
by such idle witnesse s, which merely bear false witness to God’ s Son. He recognizes only what
God loves, and in the holy light of what He sees do all the ego’s dreams of what you are vanish
befor e the splendor He beholds. * (WB-278)
We’ve all been taught the ego’s version of forgiveness. Someone else
was a jerk, but you (you wond erful thing, you), you’re so advanced and
spiritually superior that you’re willing to for give them! Such a perspect ive is not true forgiveness but rather covert judgment;
what a perfect ego concoction. Seeing ourselves as up here and the poor
wretch sinner down there, we’re simply fortifying the separation. I’m
amused when judgmental people say they don’t believe in sin. It makes me
think, Oh, yes, you do! If you believe that guilt is real, you believe in sin. True forgiveness is the realization that someone’ s mistake is not who
they are. Our willingness to see through the veil of illusion—to extend our
perception beyo nd what our physical senses perceive, to what we know to
be true in our hearts—such is the miracle that shifts a relation ship on the
causal level. Recently I’d had a back-and-for th with a friend who was annoying me
greatly . I wanted to process the issue; she was pulling away and not
responding. I’d called once; I’d texted once. I figured anythin g more and
I’d look like a fool. But I was starting to feel angry and began articulating my attack
thoughts in the comfort of my own mind. Maybe she was using again! Clearly , she wasn’ t into this friendship anymor e! I just know the kinds of
people she’s hanging out with now, so wher e is the surprise here?! I wasn’t
beyond having such judgmenta l thoughts, but I was beyond thinking they
were sane.I let my judgmen tal thoughts boil to the surface, and I simply gave them
to God. I knew better than to act on them. But I needed a miracle to calm
my anxiety and I prayed for one. Dear God, please help me see her
innocence. A couple of hours later I got a text from her. She’d had the flu since last
week, she was only starting to feel better , and could she call me tomorrow? She topped it of f with a sweet “I love you!”
I hate to admit it even to myself, but there was a time in my life when I
might have preempted that miracle with a ridiculous text. The ego claims to
be the solution to any anxiety we feel when conflict arises: Project the
blame outwar d! Tell that person how you feel! Tell them how wrong they
are! The ego doesn’ t want us to realize, of course, that the attack will
boomerang on us. In fostering guilt in anyone, the ego seeks to cancel out God. The ego
constantly seesaws between thoughts of attack and thoughts of defense,
both of which foster a belief that someone is guilty and theref ore separate
from us. Forgiveness reminds us of the eternal innocence in which we were
all created. It also reminds us of our oneness with each other , opening our
eyes to our spiritual unity . Recognizing our oneness dissolves the ego,
because ego is the false belief that we’re separate, and it disappe ars when
we see we’re not. Where love is, ego cannot be. Forgiveness means remembering everyone is innocent becau se God
created us that way. All of us lose conscious contact with our innocence at
times, living as we do in a world that so contradicts it. But love sees
through the illusion of the mistaken self to the truth that lies beyond. Everyone makes mistakes. Forgiveness has to do with how we respond
to them,  and how we respond to them has to do with how we interpret them. The miracle-min ded interpretation of all human behavior is to see whatever
someone did as either love or a call for love. In either case, the appropriate
response is love. When we judge someone, we’re holding them hostage to our
expectations and standards. But we’re holding ourselves hostage as well,
for the warden can’t leave the prison anymore than the prisoner can. The
only way we can free ourselves is if we are willing to free others. What I
perceive in you I cannot escape experiencing within myself. “Forgiveness is a selective remembering, based not on your selection”*
(T-354). It is a conscious decision to focus on things that a person did rightwhile our ego is screaming about the thing they did wrong. In the case of
my friend—and how often this is true—she hadn’ t even done  anything; I
just imagined that she had! Forgiveness is a choice to stand on what we
know in our hearts, more than on what we perceive with our physical
senses. Forgiving you, I free myself from the effects of whatever lovelessness
you had shown me. Choosing not to believe in the cause, I am invulnerable
to the effects. And as I choose that miracle in my own life, I become a
miracle worker in yours. You are blessed, because my choice to see your
innocence remin ds you it is there. I am blessed, because in releasing you
from guilt I am releasing myself from guilt. Every encounter is a path to
heaven or a path to hell, depending on whether I choose for my heart to be
open or closed. It is only in choosing to see your innocence that I can see
mine. We cannot experience inner peace if we’re holding thoughts of attack
against anyone. We can escape the world we don’t want only by giving up
attack thoughts. Everyone we meet is either our crucifier or our savior ,
depending on what we choose to be to them. Forgiveness is both our function and our salvation. It is the only
antidote to our war on ourself and others. It is our return to sanity in a world
that has gone insane. Forgivene ss is an illusion, because it remains within
the realm of mortal thought. But it is an illusion that leads beyond illusion. Forgiveness is the way we are set free. The mystic Jesus is the mind of forgiveness. He loves all of us
unconditionally because he sees us with the eyes of God. Seeing  us with the
eyes of God, he sees there is nothing not to love. The miracle of forgiveness
is that then we can see it too. Dear Jesus,
I know yours is the mind of unconditional love,
but of myself I cannot get ther e.
My wound, my trigger , my pain is too gr eat. I cannot see the innocence in one who hurt me. But I am willing,
for I know that in my r esistance to love I only hurt myself. My mind and heart ar e open to r eceive you. Please change my mind and uplift my heart,
that I might love as you do and thus know inner peace. AmenOceanofPDF .comGiving Up Grievances
The ego’s plan for salvation centers around holding grievances. It
maintains that, if someone else spoke or acted differently , if some external
circumstance or event were chan ged, you would be saved. Thus, the source
of salvation is constantly perceived as outside yourself. Each grievance you
hold is a declaration, an assertion in which you believe, that says, “If this
were different, I would be saved.” The change of mind necessary for
salvation is thus demanded of everyone and everything except yourself. The role assigned to your own mind in this plan, then, is simply to
determine what, other than itself, must change if you are to be saved. According to this insane plan, any perceived source of salvation is
acceptable provided that it will not work. This ensures that the fruitless
search will continue, for the illusion persists that, although this hope has
always failed, there is still grounds for hope in other places and in other
things. Another person will yet serve better; another situation will yet offer
success. Such is the ego’s plan for your salvation. Surely you can see how it is in
strict accord with the ego’s basic doctrine: “Seek but do not find.”* (WB-
121)
Many of us have experienced relationships that felt at some point too
hard to heal. Sometimes we’ve held on to grievances for decades. Yet even
the smallest grievance is like a shadow that blocks the sun. Giving up grievances can be particularly difficult when we feel
convinced that the grievance is valid. Then it feels as though by forgiving
someone, we’re condoning bad behavior . But refusing to forgive someone
isn’t hurting them; it’s hurting you. Do you prefer that you be right or
happy? * (T -617). Most important, by holding grievances, we’re keeping the universe from
healing whateve r situation we were upset by to begin with. We’re giving allthe power to one we feel hurt by, when the power of God would be ready to
fix the situation if only we would get out of the way. The universe is always
ready to begin again, to create  the next great thing. God can solve any
problem the moment the problem occurs. But by carrying grievances from
the past into the present, we’re preventing Him from doing so. We have to
choose to let the miracle in. Our grievances keep us tied to the past,
programming the future to be just like it. Only in the Holy Instant, in the
space of love that transcends our focus on the past, do our grievances give
way to miracles. Many years ago I had a lunch date with a famous writer whose husband
was the editor of a very powerfu l magazine. There had been an article in the
magazine that I felt was demeaning to me, and I felt hurt. I cringe to even
think of it now, but I had so little self-discipline that I mentioned my
grievance to the woman at lunch. I saw her face fall and, in that moment, I knew what I had done. I didn’ t
even know yet how badly I had blown it, in fact. I learned afterw ard that her
husband had a very serious cancer; she had read my book, and she had
asked to have lunch with me to seek wisdom and counsel. Having not been
taken seriously , a situation arose in which I would have been taken
seriously indeed . Yet I was the one who deflected that. I show ed up as a
hurt, petty person dragging the past into the present, and in doing so I
blocked the miracle. According to A Course in Miracles , we can have a grievance or a
miracle, but we cannot have both. “Holding grievances is an attack on
God’ s plan for salvation”* (WB-124). Some of the things we need to forgive at times are far, far worse than
someone saying  something that hurt our feelings. Betrayal, theft, violence
—life can be hard, and people can be cruel. Forgiveness can be a process
that takes time and doesn’ t come quickly or easily . But it’s a merciful act
not only to the other person but to you. The more we hold on to our
grievance, the longer it will take for the universe to correct the error and
heal our wound. Forgiving a person doesn’ t mean we’re condoning what they did. And
we don’t have to worry that by our forgiving them they’re going to get
away with something either . Divine justice is inviolable; the universe keeps
a perfect set of books. The saying “Vengeance is mine, sayeth the Lord”
means the problem is God’ s to handle, not yours. Our punishing attitudes donothing to serve the process by which someone is held accountable; revenge
will only boomerang on us. Many times when we’re most angry at what someone did to us, the hate
we don’t want to look at is really toward ourselves: a realization  of what we
ourselves had done, or not done , to contribute to the situation that hurt us. In what ways had we made it easy for someone to do what they did? In
what ways did we not show up for ourselves? We can’t always control what
has happened in our lives, but we can always control who we choose to be
once it happens . The crucifixion might not have been our choice, but the
resurrection always is. Love is the solution no matter the problem. It doesn’ t matter whether
our conflict is with someone we’re only thinking about, or someone we’ve
been married to for decades. The principle is the same. In separating
ourselves from someone else, we’re separating ourselves from God. And in
separating ourse lves from God, we’re blocking a miracle and sabotaging
ourselves. If there is someone you are having a hard time forgiving, this will help
you . . . Get comfortable and close your eyes . . . Now with your inner eye, on the left side of your vision, see the other person as they
normally appear to you. See their body , their clothes, their behavior as you know it. Focus on that image for a moment, then see a little ball of golden light begin to form  in the
area of their heart. Now slowly see the light expand until it covers every cell of their body . Again, going slowly , allow yourself to see the light expand beyond the confines of their body ,
shining so brightly that the physical body itself fades into shadow . See the light as it extends
outwar d, beyond their skin and all ar ound them. Again, very slowly , move your inner eye to the right side of your vision and see yourself. Look at yourself, your body , your clothes, how you express yourself behaviorally . Now see in the
middle of your heart that little ball of golden light. Watch it cover every cell and organ of your
body . Watch your body fade into shadow . Again, very slowly , watch the light expand beyond the
confines of your body , making the physical body itself move into shadow . Watch as the light
extends outwar d, beyond your body and in every dir ection. Now . . . Very slowly , look to the center wher e the light extending from the other person merges with
the light extending from you. There, in that golden light, beyond the body , is the temple of your
holy r elationship. Simply stay ther e. Do not move your inner eye. Bear witness. Be still and know . Allow yourself to recognize that point of oneness which is the reality of spirit, beyond the
body , beyond separation, and thus beyond guilt. You ar e at home now , in each other and in God. Dear God,
I place in Y our hands my r elationship with ________.Lift us above the walls that would divide us. May a gr eat wave of for giveness come upon us both,
washing away the thoughts of guilt
that would destr oy our love. May our eyes be opened to the innocence
in ourselves and in each other . May our r elationship be lifted to divine right or der,
a blessing upon us both,
in whatever form Y ou would appoint. Amen
OceanofPDF .comRelationship to the World
When one of the kindest, most sensitive women I’ve ever known died in
one of the airplanes on September 11, I realized that all of us, no matter
who we are or where we are, are affected by international affairs. None of
us can completely seal ourselves off from the world. We’re all increasingly
vulnerable to global dysfunction , whether climate change or nuclear risks or
economic uncert ainty . The only way to take responsibility for our lives now
is to take responsibility for the world. When I was in the seventh grade, I came home one day and told my
parents we had to fight in Vietnam or we would be fighting on the shores of
Hawaii. I had learned about the “domino theory” that day in school, and I
began to instruc t my parents about what it meant. I saw the muscles on my
father ’s face begin to tighten. I saw my mother put her hand over her
eyebrow , like, Uh oh, her e we go. After listening for several minu tes, my father stood up from the dinner
table. “That’ s it, sweetheart!” he said to my mother . “We’re going to
Vietnam.”
That was 1965; you could still visit Saigon as long as you stayed within
five miles of the city. But there  was a fear, a tension in the air, a sense of
doom that was palpable. I remember my father showing us bullet holes on
the side of a building and talking to us about how they got there. He sat us down  on a bench next to him and said, “Hear me and never
forget this, kids. These are real people. If anyone ever tries to convince you
that these people don’t matter , that we can go to war against anyone when it
isn’t necessary , promise me you will remember this trip. Some of the people
you have met here might not survive what is about to happen.”
He was right, of course. I did and I do remember . There’ s a certain
invulnerability to propaganda that I and my brother and sister carried withus. It’s been a shield against the official malarkey so often used to enroll us
in agreeing to do what we should not do. Jesus loves the world, and we should love it too. The ego loves to say
that loving one another “has nothing to do with politics,” but of course it
would say that. It lies. In the words of Mahatma Gandhi, “Is not politics a
part of dharma too?” If God’ s love applies to our relationship to everything,
then that means it applies to our relationship to the world at large. And our
relationship to the world at lar ge can’ t be separated from politics. When I was growing up there  was a huge atlas that we kept in our
family’ s den. My father used to show us the geographic map of the world
and point out, “Look, kids, God didn’ t create lines between countries. We
did.” That which separates us is by definition man-made. For centuries, the Ukrainian and Russian people lived like brothers. Similarly , the people of Texas and Mexico have been peacefully crossing
over into each other ’s territories for centuries. Arabs and the Jews were
nomadic friend s for even longer . The modern nation-state is often a
transactional separation of peoples whose hearts have been historically
unified. The ego works on a collective as well as an individual level, always
seeking to separate, to destroy the fragile bonds that unite us. Our task is to
create a world in which appropriate boundaries are reflective of a higher
order of civilization, not a barba ric display of disunity . We must find a way
to determine our borders without closing our hearts. In alchemy there is a term, “separatio,” which means separating out all
the elements in order to purify them, allowing for their rearrangement at a
higher level. Our different ethnicities, cultures, nationalities, sexual and
gender identities, religions, and so forth are magnificent kaleidoscopic
expressions of one internal truth. They are beautiful points on the rim of the
wheel, but they are not the mystical hub. They are not the deep est truth of
who we are. On the level of the deepest truth we are one, and our purpose
on this earth is to learn to live that way . The ego will always strive to keep us separate, and the suffering
engendered by its investment in guilt is intense and ongoing. People die to
preserve the illusion of separation, and God doesn’ t look away from such
suffering. Jesus wept, and so should we. We shou ld weep  for others, and we should weep for ourselves , for we
will reap what we have sown. Collectively as well as individually , the time
for a massive Atonement is at hand. The Law of Cause and Effect meanskarma, and ours is not so very good. From the violence we show to each
other , to violence against other  countries, to violent transgression against
the earth itself, our collective ego is doing what the ego does. Its goal is not
to inconvenience, but to destroy . At this point, many wonder , is it even possible to begin again? As a
species, can we change? Can we heal? The answer is absolutely yes. We can
atone for our errors, make restit ution, and reform our ways. That is as true
for a nation as it is for a person. We will learn to live together in love. We will learn it through wisdom,
or we will learn it through pain. But we will learn. OceanofPDF .comSoul Growth
Spirituality is not something to be practiced sometimes . It is the existential
meaning of every moment. The spiritual journey is continuous and
practical. It is a moment-by-moment decision-making process: How do I
choose to look at a situation, who do I choose to be within it, and what do I
choose to do? Life is about not just what happ ens to us, but also who we choo se to be
in the space of what happens. Every situation is designed by an intelligent
universe specifically for our soul growth, by definition presenting us with
the oppo rtunities to play life either from a place of love or from a place of
fear—from forgiveness, positivity , and contribution, or from blame,
negativity , and victimhood. Every moment we make the choice. We make it either consciously or
unconsciously , but every thought represents a decision, and “All thinking
produces form at some level”* (T-31). That is how powerful we are, and
how responsible we are for our life experience. The life we live is a reflection of thoughts we chose to think before this
moment. Our lives begin to change when we choose to think  differen tly
now. The spiritual journey is a transition from who we used to be and the
life we used to live, to who we would rather be and the life we would rather
live. No one and nothing can decide for you the thoughts you choose to
think. The world would tell us there’ s no road map, nothing but a random
universe in which the highest good is to do whatever we feel like doing, or
would make us the most money , or would get us whatever it is we think we
want. Nothing is a more limited mentality than such a purposeless
perspective. Living our lives in service to a higher  purpos e is the only road to
happiness, because it is the reason we were born. What the ego posits asfreedom is not freedom, but license; it is a prison of our own making. Following Jesus, serving the Will of God, trying our best to be loving
means serving the desires of our own true self. OceanofPDF .comThe Pillars of a Well-Lived Life
The three principles we hold on to as we walk the spiritual path are these:
faith, love, and service. Those are the pillars of righteou sness, or “right use-ness” of the mind. But even  more than that, they are our powers. They are the use of the mind
in ways that lift us above the normal limitations of the mortal world. Who among us has not seen things come together when harmon y exists
among the players in a system, and things fall apart when anger and
negativity prevail? Our faith that anything is possible in the presence of love, our faith that
forgiveness will always interrupt the ego’s tyranny—these are our powers
when we let miracles light the way. The Holy Spirit is the motivation for
miracles and conduit for mirac les. He is never not available to show us
where they are. “I am not absent to anyone in any situation” (T -116). The world can be a miraculous place, and in many ways it is. We hold
our child ren, we fall in love, we build communities. It’s all there. But the
fear-based thought system that dominates the world is like a sword of
Damocles that hangs above us all. The fate of our world literally hangs on
whether or not we can stop attacking each other , attacking the earth, and
attacking ourselves. We need faith that it’ s possible for us, and for the world, to change. We need love to dissolve the layers of fear that saturate the world. We need a consciousness of service to make sure we will. As we increase our ability to embody the love that is the truth of who
we are, we begin to attract mighty companions into our experience. We
meet people with whom there’ s an almost mysterious sense that we were
brought together for purposes higher than our own. We’re no longer driven
to achie ve what  we perceive to be our separate goals, but instead we’redriven by a desire to collaborate with others in creating collective changes
to the world in which we live. The idea that we go to work to make money , to gain power , or for any
other purpose dictated by a consumer -driven culture begins to take second
place to a more meaningful yearning: to create the good, the beautiful, and
the holy . And to create those things with others. The intentional nature of the universe applies not only to our individual
lives but to our relationships as well. We are drawn to people with whom
we can heal and with whom we can create more than we could have created
on our own. This is the regenerative energy of Christ that is emerging in the
world today. Yes, the ego’s wiles are still a danger to us all. But the sense
that God is active, that the spirit of rebirth is upon us, that Jesus walks on
the water even now , is palpable as well. He is order in the midst of chaos, he is wisdom in the midst of
confusion, he is the love that casts out fear. Jesus is in you and me and all of
us, by whatever name we call him. In moments of despair we need but call,
and he will hear, and he will answer . The times ahead migh t indeed be
challenging, but we will not be alone. Love will prevai l, for God alway s gets the final say. What is completely
up to us, to be determined by the exercise of our free will, is how long it
will take to get there—and how much suffering must occur before the
dawning of the light. In the Talmud it is written that in the midst of the
darkest night we should act as if morning has already come. For in a way it
already has. Hallelujah. Praise God. Amen. OceanofPDF .comChapter Four
He Did Not Die
Teach not that I died in vain. Teach rather that I did not die, by demonstrating that I live in
you. * (T -209)
OceanofPDF .comJerusalem
The Chur ch of the Holy Sepulchre in the Old City of Jerusalem  contains
two of the holiest sites in Christianity: the place where Jesus was crucified,
and the tomb where his body was taken and from which he resurrected. It’s rather shocking how much history is recorded there, based on
traditions going all the way back to the fourth century . Visitors walk up a
narrow flight of stairs to see the actual site of the crucifixion; in a room
right below, behind glass, one can see the rock onto which his blood was
spilled. To me, one of the most profound parts of the Bible is the story of
women gathered around the foot of the cross and refusing to abandon him
in the hours of his suf fering. Being in the church is very moving, and I had an interesting experience
the first time I went. A friend and fellow student of A Course in Miracles
named Daniella happened to be in Israel while I was there, and we had
spoken on the phone that morning. She was in Tel Aviv and I was in
Jerusalem, both of us busy with various things and not knowing at what
point we’d be in the same town. We were going to continue to
communicate, making sure we’d have a chance to visit sometime during the
week I was there. Visiting the church several hours later, I was overwhelmed by how
many hundreds of people were milling around. Tourists and disciples from
all over the world visit the church in every hour that it’s open— four million
people annually—and the hustl e and bustle of so many people in every
corner of every room is simply part of the experience. After I’d gone upstairs and come back down again, I headed for the
lower room beneath where Jesus had died. Upstairs is where they say he
was crucified; downstairs is where those who bore witness to his suffering
were gathered. Looking in, I saw to my surprise that the room was entirely
empty . Empty , that is, except for Daniella.I looked at her and she looked at me. No words could have matched the
moment. Both of us felt it. I don’t know who was at his feet two thousand
years ago, but Daniella and I were at his feet together now . OceanofPDF .comDetroit
The modern mind is prone to scoffing at the idea of evil, capable of
acknowledging its existence but considering itself too smart to investigate
its sourc e. The ego loves that attitude, of course. It enables  the ego to
operate in secret. The ego is not a dysfunction, it is a malfunction. It is not neutral, it is
malevolent. And its goal is not to inconvenience you; its goal is to destroy
anything beautiful and precious you have ever known, including you. Jesus died a horrible death, not some quick mortal wound but rather a
torture that went on for hours. With every hour his suffering increased. There could be no more potent image of injustice and unmitig ated cruelty
than the torture of an innocent man who had helped many and harmed no
one. It is not the reality of his death , but the meaning of his death, that is
meant to instruct us. Billions of people suffer no less horribly , and no less
unfairly , on the earth today . In recognizing the suffering of Jesus, we should
remember the suffering of the world. His message wasn’ t “Hey , look at
me.” His message is “Hey , look at you.”
Many years ago I was the minister at a nondenominational church and
spiritual center in Detroit. When I first arrived, I was told it was a tradition
there to celebrate a Good Frida y service. I hesitated; I am not a Christian
minister but a teacher of universal spiritual truths. I could eagerly talk about
Easter and the Resurrection. But a Good Friday service had a uniquely
Christian ring to it, and I didn’ t know if it was something I could do. I realized that the Good Friday service meant a lot to the congregants,
so I looked more deeply into it. I came to see more clearly the spiritual and
psychological connection between acknowledging the death of Jesus on
Friday and celebrating his resurrection on Sunday . I have never been
interested in religious dogma, but I’m interested in the religious  experience,and there’s nothing more profound than a religious service when it’s
authentic and real. The word “religion” comes from the Latin root “religio,”
which means to bind back. Its purpose is to bind us back to the truth in our
hearts. What began as something I resisted became for me the most powerful
day of the year during my tenur e at Renaissance Unity . For one day, at one
service, we acknowledged the depth of human suffering, both our own and
that of others. We felt the horror and the grief and the pain of this world. We
stood before it and did not look away . We took it in, we did not ignore it. Bearing witness  to the suffering  of Jesus, we bore witness to the suffering
of the world. When Sunday arrived, we weren’t just dressed up fancy on Easter
morning. We didn’ t just bliss out on the gospel choir singing hallelujah. No,
something very important had occurred at that Good Friday service, and we
had all experienced it. We were able to take in the joy of Easter in a way we
could not have otherwise; having allowed ourselves to truly see what
becomes of a world in which love is absent, we could celebrate its
reappearance in a whole new way . Having gazed deeply into the darkness of the crucifixion, we then gazed
more deeply into the light of the resurrection. We don’t heal our wounds by
ignoring them. The crucifixion is the wound of the world—the ego’s
violent, destruct ive force in whatever form it appears. If you don’t look at it
at all, you’re not in transcendence but in denial. Look at it, and then
consider that in Jesus the lesson  has been learned. Through the power of the
resurrection, the ef fects of darkness are nullified. He has overcome, and so can we. OceanofPDF .comCrucifixion
The suffering of Jesus on the cross was a historical event, of course, but
like all aspects of his life on earth it speaks to our reality now. His suffering
was an embodiment of the full viciousness of the ego in order for God to
demonstrate, through the resurrection, that there is no evil in the world that
God’ s love does not nullify . While traditiona lists believe that the suffering of Jesus ransomed a
sinful humanity , esoteric teachin gs argue otherwise. The crucifixion was not
a punishment for anything or anyone. A loving God would not have Jesus
die because you were bad. Rather , we can see the crucifixion of Jesus as the last useless journey ,
the final detour into the regions of darkness. Among his final words were
“It is finished.” He was speaking not only for himself but for all of us. He
had taken on the darkness of the world, even unto death itself, and he
survived. United with the consciousness of an eternal God, he was
deathless. In the realm of spirit, so are we. But Jesus is not asking us to join in his crucifixion; he is asking us to
join in his resurr ection. The crucifixion was a radical demonstration of how
far the ego will go; the resurrection is a radical demonstration of God’ s
power to overrid e it. It is proof that while hatred appar ently  triumphed over
love, in time love would have the final say . As with everything else in the life of Jesus, the principle revealed in the
crucifixion applies to all of us. Our crucifixions are rarely as extreme as his,
of cours e, yet the pattern by which ego seeks to destroy the spirit is as
operative in our own lives as it was in his. The point, again, is to claim the
power of the resurrection. No matter what we’re going throug h, love will
divinely correct all things. The mind of Jesus cracked the code. In joining
our minds with his, we crack it too.Sometimes the crucifixion is something as small as an unkind act or
hurtful comment from someone. Yet even the smallest annoyance is good
practice, an opportunity to choo se to rise above. The accumulation of many
smaller wounds can be enough to harden us. A little ego is still ego. It’s like
a little bit of cancer . Best it were not there. The crucifixion  is a constant reenactment of the ego’s ever-vigilant
efforts to attack , to destroy , and to kill. The ego tempts us constantly to
think thoughts that would destroy our peace, sabotage our relationships, and
deflect the miracles that are our divine inheritance. It is the insan ity and fear
that prevails upon the planet, the malignant consciousness of a humanity
having forgotten both our source and our purpose. We have become deeply
confused and have forgotten who we are. The ego is literally anti-God. It
seeks to attack us, vilify us, and ultimately destroy us. The crucifixion of Jesus is the ultimate symbol of the ego having gotten
its wish, causing us to suffer and ultimately to die. The ego is the belief that
we are our bodies; therefore to the ego the death of the body is the ultimate
triumph. Our triumph over death lies in the realization that the dead do not die. For what God created cannot be uncreated. As God’ s creatio ns, we are
eternal spirits, and what lives in God cannot die. His creations are
unchangeable and unassailable. The message of the crucifixion was not that Jesus died. The message is
that he did not die. He continues to live, and he lives in us. OceanofPDF .comAll of It Is Happening Now
Crucifixion and resurrection aren’ t just symbols; they are spiritual
dynamics that underly our thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Fear
depresses us, while love uplifts us. This is the existential loom onto which
we weave our lives. In every  instant we choose crucifixion or resurrection, fear or love. In
any mom ent the ego will have its way with us, and in any moment we can
rise above. The ego crucifie s by separating us from each other , which is why we
cannot be joined in crucifixion. We are joined in resurrection, for it is the
realization that we cannot be separated. Every thought of guilt is the nail by
which we crucif y, and every thought of forgiveness is the power by which
we resurrect.
_OceanofPDF.com_The_Mystic_Jesus_The_Mind_of_Love_-_Marianne_Williamson.txt
Summarize the following text section accurately and concisely. Maintain specific details and numerical information, and use anti-repetition mechanisms:

        Too many times  a therapist will say, “Why do you think you always
pick the same man. ” when perhaps it would serve the client best if the
therapist asked,  “Why do you think you always act a certain way with
men. ” In other words, why do you push love away. You seem to pick the
same man because you keep acting the same way. In many cases, contemporary psychotherapy has become a cult of
blaming someone else. Often it’s the ego’s hotbed of grievances and
victimization, using modern buzzwords like “trauma” and “narcissist” to
pretty much explain everything. While those words are meaningful and
carry significant messages given by important voices in the culture, they
shouldn’ t be cookie-cutter solutions applied  to every singl e issue. They’ve
been cheapened so much at this point that they’re used as a description, an
excuse, an almost jingoistic label slapped onto every problem. And notice
how rarely the problem seems to be you. While your therapist is explaining that the person you dated was
probably a narcissist, consider whether that person might be talking to their
therapist on the other side of town and hearing that you are. The ego just
loves to talk about other people’ s issues, and brilliantly ignores our own. I spent years in and out of thera py, and often with smart and very wise
people. But I think I would have been better served if I’d been coddled
much less and busted much more. Therapy should not be a place where we
are bolstered in our belief that we’re weak, or victimized, or forever
harmed. It should be a place where we are aided in letting go of the barriers
that stand in front of our hearts, that the love that is all around us might
enter in and give us peace. “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all of the
barriers within yourself that you have built against it”* (T-338). Most of us,
if we’re honest with ourselves, could write down on a piece of paper some
of the things we do that drive other people crazy. And if we don’t know
what those things are, our best friends could probably tell us. It’s our own behavioral patterns  more than anything else that deprive us
of love. We continue to grasp for love, when usually what we most need to
do is identify the ways we push it away. Our souls are swim ming everymoment in an ocean of love, for that is God’ s universe. But the ego is truly
a sly opponent, being, after all, our own mind turned against us. The biggest
mistakes I’ve made in love I actually thought were a good idea at the time. Send love to your friends, to your family, to your customers, to your
clients, to your boss, to your colleagues, to your employees, to the people
you know, to the people you don’t know, to your president, and yes—to that
ex-president too. Send love to Nancy Pelosi and to Marjorie Taylor Greene. Jesus would. Martin Luther King Jr. said, “God said I have to love my
enemies; He didn’ t say I have to like them. ”
The world we’re living in today is saturated by a mental poison. It is
more than toxic; it’s hateful. And all of us know it. None of us can afford to
sit out the process of doing what we can to de-escalate the madness. And it has to start with us. With every thought we think we’re either
adding to the solution or adding  to the problem. Either our heart is opened
or our heart is closed. There is a way to disagree, to set boundaries, even to
oppose behavior  that is intolerable, without withholding love. That is the
message of Jesus. It is as radical today as it was two thousand years ago. While I was writing this book, focusing deeply and sincerely on what it
would mean to truly deeply love, my assistant made an administrative
mistake, and I made a snark y comment. Sometimes people have the
extraordinary audacity not to do exactly what we want them to do. Shocking, but it happens. That’ s what makes a relationship the ultimate teaching and learning
opportunity. The point is not that other people have to change, but that we
do. The work is always on ourselves. The ego is certain that a relationship
will be fine as soon as the other person starts acting differently. But the fact
that we can’ t accept them as they are acting now is the actual problem. What a victim I was. Couldn’ t she see that I was trying to write a book
and I needed support here, dammit. There was a time in my life when I would have seen the situation that
way—as simply  about me not attracting the support I neede d. But this
wasn’ t some random event ironically at odds with the book  that I was
writing. It was an exact reflection  of the book I was writing. The fact that
I’m writing abou t these things brought up all the ways in which  I’m not yet
living them. That is how perfectly the cosmic computer works. If my only response to an assistant who doesn’ t do as I wish is simply to
get angry, then I’m limiting my ability to find the words or behavior thatcan help her do better. It also keeps me from having larger clarity about the
relationship as a whole. This isn’ t about her. It’s about me. But what about healthy boundaries. When is it okay to hold someone
else accountable. I threw such questions at Jesus as I made a cup of coffee
and slammed shut a cabinet door. “Yeah, I’m sorry you’re going through
this” was all I could imagine him saying at the time. I know it’s okay to set healthy boundaries, disagree when necess ary, and
hold someone else accountable. But all those things can and must be done
with respect and love. When we attack another person, we’re wrong even if
we’re right. The issues we’re here to monitor are our own. My ego would argue that the problem was her behavior; the Spirit
points out that the problem is my anger. Situations such as that will
continue as long as I consistently push up against the same wall. But the
wall isn’t going to give; I have to. That wall is the place—and most of us
have one—at which point we can’t see how to act with love and still get our
needs met. But we’re going to have to learn. The situation is going to repeat
itself until we do. So what do we do in such situat ions. Pray for a miracle. Pray for a shift
in perception. Say you’re willing to see the situation dif ferently. Sit down, breathe, pray, and your perceptions will begin to shift. As
your mind begins to calm down, one of two things will happen:
1. Your guidanc e will be to say nothing, to absorb the moment and just
let it pass. OR
2. Your guidance will be that something does need to be said, but you’ll
be given the wisdom to say what you need to say at just the right time and
in just the right way. You’ll be guided not only in what you should say but
in who to be while you’re saying it. The Holy Spirit doesn’t handle
situations for you, but turns you into a person who knows how to handle
them yourself. The main point is to see that the problem is within yourself; therefore so
is the solution. If you think the only solution is to find someone else to
fulfill whatever function you had assigned to that person, you’ll simply
attract someone else who acts the same way, or whom you subconsciously
set up to act the same way, until your eyes are opened to the real issue: you. The universe is intentional. It is always nudging us to be better, and if
that means putting people in our lives who make us have to confront ourown barriers to love, then it will. “This is my commandment, that ye love one another, even as I have
loved you” (John 15:12, ASV). To say this is easy; to live it is hard. That’ s why the mystic Jesus is so
relevant and important. Whether through religion or psychotherapy, the
world is in desperate need today of lessons in how to love. Both are the healing of the mind. Religion is limited when it lacks
psychological astuteness, and psychotherapy is limited when it lacks
spiritual understanding. There are voices within both these days
transforming them into genuinely spiritual pursuits. Whether in
psychotherapy or at a religious service, the greatest gift we can receive is a
reminder to give more love. The ego loves to use both religion and psychotherapy for its purposes,
and clearly that includes the Christian religion as much as any other. But
there’ s no legitimate conversation about Jesus that’s not a conversation
about love. Reclaiming the radic alism of love is the only way of claiming a
radical relationship with Jesus, and the radical love of Jesus is the true
nature of the self. OceanofPDF. comRelationship to God
Every circumstance involves a relationship: our relationship to God, our
relationship to ourselves, our relationship to other people, or our
relationship to the world. Some would say we have no relationship to God because there is no
God. There are just atoms and particles that make up an amazing but
ultimately mean ingless goop. That means we’re floating in a random
universe where whatever meaning life has for us is the meaning  we bring to
it. That’s a respe ctable existenti al argument, but it’s a lonely one. It leaves
us very much on our own. It posits no “cosmic companionship,” as Martin
Luther King Jr. referred to the Holy Spirit’ s presence in our lives. If you
believe you’re on your own, in your experience then you will be. This gives
no sense of comfort, denying ourselves our inheritance of either power or
love. Then there are those who do believe in God but see Him as a
judgmental long-bearded man in the sky, just waiting for us to screw up and
not do what He told us to do so He can send us to the depths of hell. Such a
God is a God made in man’ s image rather than the other way around. The
notion of an angry God is a projection creat ed by angry people. Feeling
guilty, they assumed they deserved punishment. They therefore concocted
the image of a God who would mete out all the punishment they felt they
deserved. I can’t imagine that any of those people have made it to chapter 3
of this book. Then there are those who believe in a loving God yet don’t understand
how such a God would tolerate hungry children, global poverty, and endless
wars. Interesting, that, because it’s the question He has for us. Hungry
children, global poverty, and endless wars are a product of man’ s misuse of
power, not God’ s. Created with free will, we can think and do whatever we wish to think
and do. God Himself will not save us from the consequences. The Law of
Cause and Effect was created for our protection, and He does not violate
His own law. What He will do, and has done, is create the help we need in order that
we might choose more wisely. Asking Him to heal the world means asking
Him to turn us into the people who will do it for ourselves. Our relationship to God is, if we allow it to be, our most intimate
relationship. His is a voice that is always there to whisper in our ear. He is
closer than our breath to us. Our communion with him, our melding into
him, is the repair of our person alities and the restoration of our souls. For
many, the mystic Jesus is part of that repair. As far as the hungry children are concerned, this isn’t about our waiting
for God to work a miracle. God is waiting for us to do that. He has a very
simple answer to our prayers about this. His answer is “Feed them. ”
And we should do so now.
The author believes that therapists often focus on blaming others instead of helping clients understand their own patterns and behaviors.
What is the author's criticism of modern therapy?
The author believes that these terms are overused and used as excuses rather than a genuine understanding of the issue.
What is the author's perspective on the concept of "trauma" and "narcissist"?
The author believes that forgiveness is not just about condoning someone else's actions, but about recognizing and releasing our own guilt and negativity, and choosing to respond with love.
What is the author's view on forgiveness and its relationship to the ego?
The author believes that love is not something we can find outside of ourselves, but rather it is something we must learn to embody and choose to give to others.
What is the author's perspective on the concept of "love"?
The author believes that heaven is not a physical place, but rather a state of consciousness that arises from recognizing our oneness with God and others, and that this is the only way to escape the "hell" of separation and suffering.
What is the author's view on the concept of "heaven" and "hell"?