Adults  have cleared phobias that include fear of public speaking,social anxiety , elevators, dentists, doctors, heights, water , driving, airplane
travel, stairs and escalators, insects and snakes, and claustrophobia. Tapping doesn’ t remove your notions of safety and common sense. It
resolves the energy disruption at the heart of your mind-body’ s excessive
response to the specific stimulus causing you to involuntarily overreact. More than 11 percent of people will have a phobia at some point in their
lives.24 The percentage is likely higher , as those with phobias often keep
their problem a secret, reporting privately that they are ashamed. How Do Phobias Start? At the heart of your fear response is a disruption in your body’s energy
system. Recall the Discovery Statement from Chapter 1: “The cause of all
negative emotio ns is a disruptio n in the body’ s energy system.”  In the case
of phobia, something you experienced hurt or scared you. You experienced
an energy disruption, according to EFT. Your “primitive” brain took control
to keep you safe from danger . Your phobic reaction alert is ongo ing in your
remarkable limbic brain, whose amazing memory cache is much like RAM
on your computer . That is, the mind  will keep reacting to the original threat
in the same way until you are able to resolve the energy disrupti on from the
initial trauma. This is why each time you come in contact with or anywhere
near the fearful target, your protector and survival-focused brain is saying,
“Danger! Dange r! Stay away!” That’ s why you haven’ t been  able to do
anything—until today . It might be useful for you to tap while you read. You can try tapping
continuously on the fingertip points, starting with the tip of the thumb,
index finger, third finger , and pinkie. Or tap the gamut point, between the
ring and pinkie on the top of the hand just behind the knuckle s. Why not
move that life force right on through? People with phobias can’t imagine coming into contact with their fear-
object, let alone resolving the phobia itself. With EFT, you are in control of
just how far you’ll go toward resolving your phobia. You stop as soon as
you experience a bit of discomfort and tap.You know by now that when you get specific about the events and the
aspects underneath them, you will access the actual emotional and
experiential contributors sustaining the phobic response. Apply the EFT
basic recipe one round at a time to each individual aspect of your fear . What if you don’t remember how and when the big fear started? Your
subconscious will do the work, accessing the deeper specific feelings and
issues under the phobia. If you need to know how the phobia  started, the
event will come to mind, with patience. If you don’t need to know , you
won’ t know how it started, but you will still neutralize your phobia. You
can use the stimulus itself as your tar get. Either way , it works. Case Study: Fear of Flying Neutralized
Ali had a fear of flying for as long as she could remember . She said, “In
college, when my parents offered to send airfare for me to fly the five
hundred miles home on a 45-mi nute plane trip, I chose the 8-hour bus ride. I didn’t want to get on a small plane. I didn’ t want to die that way. That’s
how scared I was.”
As she regularly  had to travel overseas for her work and to visit friends
and family , flying was as much of a trauma for her flight-mates as it was for
her! As Ali explained it, she was a terrible person to sit next to. She
wouldn’ t get up during the flight. She white-knuckled from clenching so
tight, had vision s of crashing the entire time the plane was in the air, and
turbulence compelled her to grab the person next to her , stranger or not. Things came to a head when Ali received notice from her work that in
five weeks her job would require  her to fly to four different destinations in a
two-week time span. Having recently learned EFT she thought: “This is
going to be okay . I’m going to tap on this.”
At the time she was involved in an online tapping group, so she
announced to the group her intentions, gathering support. She had five
weeks to resolve this lifelong phobia. She started like so: “Even though just
thinking about this upcoming flight I feel panic, I deeply and completely
accept myself.”Then she tapped several times daily whenever she thought of the
upcoming trips, on every single specific aspect that came up: “Even though
I can’t breathe, there’ s not enough air; I don’t know if the pilot will have
been drinking; I hate air travel; I don’t like that I can’t tell what’ s going on;
I have no control” and so on. She tapped until she felt no intensity thinking
about any part of the travel, from arriving at the airport to landing. The true test came on flight day. “I remember looking at the plane,
stepping onto the plane, and realizing  my ‘radar ’ was not going out of
control.” Her next thought was that she was hungry and she wondered what
they would serve on the flight. Food hadn’ t been part of the picture in the
past. Once in the air, she reports, “Instead of all the nega tive racing
thoughts, I was curious about what was going on around me. Looking out
the wind ow, I remembering thinking, ‘this is romantic, this is wonderf ul.’”
At that point, she could still remember how the panic felt, but she didn’ t
have it. “I used to book a flight and start praying. Now I just think I used to
be afraid to fly . I don’ t have that anymore!”
In that above case, Ali didn’ t know the origins of the phobia, and it didn’ t
matter . In the case that follows, there was an originating event. Case Study: Debbie and Fear of Stairs
Often one thing becomes linked  with another , eliciting a phob ic response. Debbie, age 45, was terrified of walking down but not up stairs . She had no
memory of a time when it didn’ t feel like she was going to die when she
had to walk downstairs; she had inched her way down stairs in terror her
whole life. We started at the top of five stories of stairs and tapped on all
aspects—every possible thought, feeling, sensation, and belie f—keeping
her from walking down one single stair. Aspects included: can’t look down,
nothing there, need to hold on, and more. After about ten minutes she took a
single step on her own. But then she wouldn’ t release her grip on the
railing. “I’ll fall,” she said. We had uncovered another aspect. We tapped
now on aspects relating to releasing her death grip on the railin g. Then, we
stepped back to the top. Now , I asked her to look down, imagine walkingwith the hand off the railing, to get her tuned back into the falling fear. I
then asked her what the falling fear reminded her of. As is common in situations with EFT, an early memory surfaced from
when she was five years old. Her family was hiking down a craggy bluff,
with Debbie lagging behind. Her parents were in front of her and arguing
loudly . Debbie had felt alone, scared, and uncomfortable, and she was also
quite close to the edge of the rocky hill. Shortly after that event,  her parents
divorced. Being  high up on the hill looking down while her parents argued
had been very scary, and it was the last time the family went on an outing
together . Someh ow, the fear of going down the hill had generalized to going
down regular stairs, crowded stairs, stairs with no railing and the like, and
they had been tightly linked ever since. But really , she had just been scared
about her paren ts arguing so heatedly and linked it to the big loss of her
father ’s regular presence and love. Once we resolved this issue, I had a
feeling she woul d be able to walk down stairs, and I was right. But were we
done? Soon after we felt “complete,” a whole group of people entered the
stairwell and her fear spiked. Now we tapped on the aspect of crowded
stairwells. She was walking up and down stairs “just like a regular person,”
no fear. The next session we went to steep, metal fire escape stairs to scan
for aspects and test our results. In fact, I was the one who had to tap on my
fear of the metal stairs! Ali was practically giddy with excitement she was
so happy to feel free of the fear that had haunted her all these years. She had
unlinked decades of terror and fear in just two sessions. Exercise: Overcoming Phobia:  
Get Curious, Ask Questions
When you clear  a phobia target with tapping, your questions will be like
guideposts to direct your tappin g. Note that the following questions may
look familiar to you, as they are the same types of questions we apply to
just about any bothersome problem. List them and your answ ers in yourEFT journal. They will help you uncover aspects and specific events to tap
on. When and where did my phobic response start? Who was with me? What was going on in my life at the time? When did the fear get worse? Do I remember a time that I didn’ t have it? What does this fear feeling remind me of? When do/did I remember having a feeling similar to this? How ashamed am I of the phobia? Am I keeping my phobia a secret? What will happen if I tell someone? What happens when I tell other people about my phobia? What do I believe about myself because of the phobia? Do I have a case of the “shoulds”? Y ou know the self-talk/inner critic: “ I
should not have,” “I’m wrong to have,” “I’m bad to have this,” “I’m a
loser  to have this,” etc. What happens when I see, hear , feel, touch, taste, or think of my fear
target? What are my body sensations when I think or come near my fear tar get? Does your breathing get shallow and fast? Is your chest tight, does your
gut feel like it’ s going to clench into a fist, are your legs trembling, can
you not seem to get enough air? How Long W ill It T ake? You might be wondering how long it will take you to clear your phobia. Everyone is different. You may clear the root of your phobia in five minutes
of tapping and resolve the probl em for good. Or it may take many rounds—
or even many days—to have a breakthrough. There may be hundreds of
aspects and several specific events you’ll need to tap on before your phobia
clears. Be persistent. You can heal this. You will likely need to put yourself
in the fear situation at some point to truly test for results. Working with a
practitioner can be especially useful in situations like these.Suggestions for W orking through Phobias
Look at your phobia as if it were an archeological site; do a little digging,
and you will see many civilizations buried one on top of anoth er. Remove
them one at a time and you will unearth everything you need to know to
clear your fear. If you have a fear of saying a target word, such as “snake,”
tap on “the s-word,” for examp le. Or you can use a code word that has
nothing to do with the phobia itself, like “my bunny friend,” or “the Tesla
factor ,” or “the big yuck.” If you feel ready , you can start to tap on saying
the name of your fear target out loud and tapping on the intensity that just
saying it elicits. Do this until you can actually say out loud the name of
your fear target with neutrality or something close to it. If you can’t get
there, then you may find working with a practitioner experienced in helping
clients resolve phobias useful. Exercise: T aking the Edge Of f  
Just Thinking of the T arget
Step 1. I cannot even think of my fear target without upset. If this speaks to
you, start there, at this outermost layer . Tap until you no longer feel
triggered and resistant when just thinking about the fear target. This is
similar to the Tearless Trauma  technique, approaching the most global
perspective possible to take the edge of f and be as comfortable as possible. Try customizing any one of these phrases to suit your own situation:
Even though I feel trapped, I deeply and completely love and accept
myself. Even though this fear has control over me, I deeply and profoundly
love and accept myself anyway . Even though there’ s a lot here, and I don’t know where to start, I
deeply and completely accept myself. Even though I’m terrified of certain things, I accept my terror and
myself.Even if I never get over this, I still love and accept myself anyw ay (or
that’s okay). Step 2. Remember to rate your intensity on just thinking about this issue
before creating your setup phrase, then karate chop: “Even though I don’t
even want to think about the fear I have, I deeply and profoundly accept
myself anyway .” Now tap down the points with your reminder phrase
“don’ t even want to think abou t it,” and retest your intensity again,  just
about that one aspect of thinking about it. Step 3. Once you have  tapped that down to a neutral intensity and have
no resistance to thinking about the fear object, continue by tapping on every
single aspect that comes to mind, using the ratings scale as your feedback
loop. The most important factor is to not get ahead of yours elf but take
things one step at a time. If you push or rush past a detail that has not been
tapped down to zero, you are hampering your own efforts to resolve the
issue. Exercise: Fill in the Blanks
Here are a few more options for tapping around the edges of a phobia. These are the types of statemen ts I have used in my own pract ice, but you
can certainly create your own. These are a phobia’ s related thoughts and
beliefs:
Even though I’ll never get over this fear of _____________ (e.g.,
escalators), I am still a good person. Even though I’m ____________ _(e.g., scared),I deeply and completely
accept myself. Even though I am ____________(e.g., tired of living in fear of this
phobia) … . Even though I’ve had this for__ __________(e.g., ten years), I’m open
to the possibility of healing this fear today .Even though I want to get over this _______________(e.g., water
phobia) but don’ t yet know how , I deeply and profoundly accept myself
and I’m open to healing it. If you find you’re unable or unwilling to take the next steps, it may mean
coming into contact with the fear target still provokes too much fear for you
to easily handle. For those who have suffered significant trauma in their
lives, it is not recommended you do this on your own. Do not go a step
further than you feel absolutely comfortable with. Don’ t give yourself grief;
get relief. Reframes: Choosing Dif ferently Around  
Your Fear after Clearing Intensity
You can ask yourself to make different choices, once you have cleared a
significant amount of intensity relating to the phobic response. You’ll know
you’re ready for some reframes if they make sense now, or if other options
start to come to mind of their own accord. You might consider asking
yourself,  “How would I rather experience this X that I used to be afraid of?”
Or, “What would feel better than the way that I used to be around this X?”
When new choices or refram es work, you can completely saturate
yourself in the new way of thinking or considering. Even though … I choose to experience this dif ferently from now on. Even though … I’d rather experience peace even if I never get over this. Even though … what if I could see this dif ferently? Even though … I wonder how it would feel to be calm? Even though … I choose to see that this is really no threat to me. Even though … what if it won’ t really kill me? That’ s a novel thought! Even though … I see that my life isn’ t in danger after all! Even though … it’ s such a relief to experience neutrality around X. Even though … I choose to be calm and confident. Testing Y our ResultsAfter you’ve tapped down your intensity to zero, you will want to put
yourself into the fear situation if possible to test your results. And if another
aspect arises, use it! As happened with Debbie and shedding the stair fear,
another aspect may arise when you are faced with a new trigg er that you
haven’ t covered  in your tapping. For instance, perhaps an elevator with
glass doors will spike intensity , when all other elevators have no charge. Or
maybe spiders that are larger than your fist will spike intensity , while all
others don’t bother you at all. Just tap on the intensity of this new aspect
until it, too, collapses. Yes, your unreasonable (and whatever else you call
them in your mind) limiting fears can be conquered! Case Study: Public Speaking Phobia
I have worked with many people to neutralize one of the most common
phobias, public speaking. In each case, the phobia was held up by early
childhood events, such as a move to a new home and school when the child
was not ready , needing to be loyal to an introverted sibling, being singled
out at a very young age for too much public attention, and so on. Fifteen-year -old Maggie was attending boarding school far away from
her family. Just three years earlier , Maggie had been an outgoing, well-liked
girl at the top of her seventh grade class. She had “contracted” some social
phobias about the time of her family’ s move to a new home . The slight
shyness had by age fifteen turned into social and public speaking phobias
that were runnin g her life. She couldn’ t even speak to two people without
fear, anxiety , and panic. Speakin g up and answering questions in class was
troublesome for her. The worst was that she had to do a public debate for
one of her classes, once a month. During winter break, while Maggie visited the family , her moth er signed
her on to tap with me. For her part, Maggie was not thrilled, but she was
cautiously willing to try anything to get over the fear she had. We started
with general tapping as I gathered information. The worst part for her was
the school’ s monthly public speaking debate. We tackled every single
aspect of this: what happened when she went to the debate, her self-talk,and the feelings she had. She tapped on: feeling stupid, dumb, helpless;
losing my voice; feeling like I’m going to faint; humiliation and shame;
can’t speak, can’t breathe; standing there with the paper unabl e to see the
words; the subjects to debate are boring; I hate that class —until they were
all neutralized. The true test would come only when she returned to school some two
weeks later . The day after our session, Maggie went to a party . She reported with
surprise that where she normally would have hidden in a corner , she was
comfortable opening up, speakin g to friends, and meeting new people. Her
experience motivated her to continue. In our next session, we tapped on every aspect that happened for her
leading up to a debate. We started with her being in the classroom just
before the debat e. We tapped again on all her feelings and self-talk: dread;
knowing it was going to happ en again; feeling helpless; wanting to be
anywher e but there; knowing I was going to look stupid and mess up;
feeling hopeless; the long walk down the hall to the classr oom; the other
kids I had to debate; I didn’ t like the speech; I didn’ t feel ready; I won’ t be
able to open my mouth; I might faint. When she could  think of no more
upsets around the upcoming event, we moved on to what happens after the
debate, tapping on all the thoug hts, feelings, and body sensations we could
drum up, even though she was not yet in the real situation. A coupl e of times I asked her about when the whole issue had gotten
worse; everything pointed to the move and the change in schools. She
explained to me that one mome nt in particular stood out. It was in French
class, where she was asked to speak up, and she couldn’ t understand what
she was being asked and was humiliated. In her old school, she had been
ahead; but here she felt hopele ssly behind. We naturally applied Tell the
Story to this event: “The Awful French.” Finally , the upset around the event
cleared. The sound of her voice had shifted as we tapped from soft, to loud,
to slow, to angry—a common occurrence with tapping, I had an intuition
that the phobia was more than just French class; the word “anger” keptcoming to me. For me, these intuitions are like little prompts or arrows
saying “Try this! Say that!” Maybe intuition  is just the combined sum of
experience, the ability to see, listen, integrate, and synthesize information
quickly . In any case, I use caution when saying these things, so I pre-frame
my thoughts to the client (this is a common EFT practice, by the way):
“This may not have anything to do with your situation, or it may be spot-on,
but I’m going to say it to you and you tell me if this lands or makes any
sense.”
Listen to your own intuition as well as your logic. The way things are
sometimes linke d in the subcon scious sometimes makes no logical sense,
but following the trail leads to relief. Maggie came in touch with the fact
that she was really angry at her mother because of all the things she had
missed out on due to the family moving such as: not graduating at the top of
her seventh grade class with all her friends, grieving that she didn’ t get to
stay good-bye, and not having any choice in the matter of switching
schools. Her natural anger with her mother over the enforced move was the
piece that finally caused the whole public speaking issue to cave. The
mother reported  that the next day Maggie had expressed a surprising
amount of anger at her. We tapped on the mother ’s guilt for “making” the
family move. When Maggie later returned to school, she debated. The
panic, phobia, and social anxiety were gone! Some two years later,
Maggie’ s still happily phobia-free. EFT for Allergies
We discussed allergies in Chapter 8, but it’s worth bringing up here again. It’s my sense that an allergic reaction in many cases is similar to the
overreaction of the phobic response, but the over-reaction is diverted to the
immune system instead of to the nervous system. In Conclusion
Fear builds on itself. That’ s the brilliance of our survival-tuned mind. You
can chan ge things, and when you do, the fear dissolves as if it had neverbeen. Now you know how to resolve phobias and panic by tapping on
feelings and bodily symptoms as well as the root of the fear . In the next chapter , we take a look at weight and body issues  and self-
esteem. [contents]24. Heather Hatfield, “The Fear Factor: Phobia,” W ebMD, accessed January 15, 2015,
www .webmd.com/anxiety-panic/guide/fear -factor -phobias. OceanofPDF .comChapter 10
Weight Release, Cravings,  
and Body Confidence
My tapping buddy Zoe had cravings she felt were beyond her control: the
specific café she could not pass without stopping for a mocha, sugary
snacks, especially chocolates; candy on sale; and diet cola. Like most
people with cravings or addictions, she was high-functioning and kept this
shadow side on the down-low . She was ashamed of her lack of control and
of herself. Self-shame is a great way to lock in an unhelpful behavior . Zoe was an entrepreneur , doing  very well for herself. She had a healing
practice on the side, and led an active social, church, and volunt eer life. She
was health conscious, loving, generous, optimistic, and upbeat … but had
been enslaved by these cravings for decades. So what was up with all the
cravings? Zoe felt ready to look at what was underneath the cravings, deal
with it, and let the whole thing go! Cravings like Zoe’s are not uncommon. Many of us have areas of our
lives where we cannot control our behavior around a substance, a person, or
a situation. Some of us pretend we’re in control when we’re really not. Yet
we are getting our needs met in the best ways we know how. Many of these
behavioral craving patterns go back to events from childhood. What is
underneath the behavior? Could  it be an unmet, deep-seated need, such as
the need for love, the need for comfort, the need for safety? A feeling and
situation that is very painful to us that we don’t believe we have the
resources to deal with? In any case, there are times when we don’t even
know we’re hurting.It took me years to connect the dots and understand that my urge to stop
at garag e sales after doing deep emotional work meant that I was hurting
and displacing emotions that were still processing. It was the best solution I
had at the time for big hurts, but man did I get some awesome stuff! Coping
isn’t all bad, is it? What are your solutions? I’m not referring to turning to health y sources
for support and help when you feel off-track. I’m talking about solutions
that may look like excessive alcohol or drug addiction. Sometimes it’s
hookup sex or Internet porn;  sometimes it’s sweet things or carbs;
sometimes it’s a certain type of relationship drama; sometimes it’s work-a-
holism. We numb because we are about to feel our “difficult” emotions,
which we haven’ t been taught  to feel and thus aren’ t willing. We are
disconnecting even though we are lonely and need connection. This loop is
not useful as a long-term solution. In this chapter , we’re picking at the tip of the iceber g on some compelling
topics—clearing food cravings, taking a look at what’ s underneath weight-
release issues, and experiencing  body confidence. You’ll come away with
some suggestions and exercises to gain self-confidence about your glorious
body . Did that phrase “your glorious body” activate some intensity for you? Tap. Notice where you feel resistance in your body , too. You can also tap a
round on that. You can just tap on your fingertips, or select one point and
gently massage it, or Tarzan tap. Or you can run an EFT round like this,
checking intensity before and after tapping:
Even though I feel upset just thinking about all my trouble with
(cravings/with my body) and (how I look/body part), I deeply and
completely love, honor , accept, and forgive myself and anyone else
who contributed to this upset in any way . As you already know , the takea way here is that you can tap on whatever
you’re feeling. Know that the feelings, emotions, and body sensations are
tied to a past event, remembere d or long-for gotten. And even if you don’tknow the events, you have the feelings that will help you clear  the energy
disruption and the today issue—the craving or body hatred. Let yourself feel the feelings and watch them wash through you so they
can go on their merry way. It may be challenging, especially if you have a
backlog of unresolved painful upsets. I remind myself regularly when
things start to spin out of control: “you are having feelings ; they are not
doing anything to you, you’re simply experiencing  them.” You are not a
victim of your feelings. They are simply information, and they help. If the
feelings don’t subside or you consistently feel like you are drowning in
them but can’t find your way back to shore, consider working with a
trustworthy practitioner or mental health professional. How about tappi ng on or massag ing the collarbone point right now, or tap
the finger points and then the gamut points as you read? Underneath the Carbs, the Cof fee, the Cravings
We eat when we’re happy . We eat when we’re sad. We eat out of habit. We
eat to fill a need somehow not being met. When we have cravings, we’re
just trying to take care of ourselves in the best way we know . What if we’re
stuck in a cycle of coping behav ior that perhaps worked well once but is not
working so well anymore? What if we have the resources and tools to
handle whatever is underneath our craving—more resources than we did
when we took on the coping pattern as a solution to a problem? We only
need to reboot the part of our body-mind system that is freaking  out for the
craving—and feel the feelings underneath. You track an addiction back;
underneath the compulsion, feelings, and sensations is a memory
(sometimes a good one, sometimes a bad one) associated with the object of
the craving or addiction. Aim Gold Standard EFT at enough core events and their associated
aspects underlyi ng the craving, and the entire issue resolves. The emotion is
disconnected from the crave object or unhealthy behavior—the whole thing
dissolves. Case Study: Zoe’ s CravingsWith Zoe, we started address ing her cravings for Cocoa Kisses from
Hershey’ s, and later we also took care of her Russell Stover fixation. With
this work, her entire issue collapsed. It generalized to other candy and
sweets cravings—remember the Generalization Effect—so she no longer
had the sweet cravings and ice cream marathon challenges. We started the work slowly . I had her put the chocolates she craved in the
other room, where she couldn’ t even see them. Just thinking about them,
Zoe wanted one of those candie s at a level of 10. We tapped on her feeling
of wanting it, including where in her body she was feeling this “wanting,”
which turned out to be in her chest. We tapped on both the body sensation
and the wanting until the feeling and sensation subsided. Then I asked her to get a piece of chocolate from the other room and only
look at it. Now she wanted it again, at a 10—or in her words, “a bazillion.”
One specific aspect was its appearance. Zoe remarked on its “pretty blue
metallic wrapping paper; it’ s like a little present!”
For my part, my brain got very perky , busy making associations. I
remembered Zoe had received a lot of presents from her fathe r, who had
died years earlie r. Could the “Cocoa Kiss Compulsion” have something to
do with that? We tapped on the beautiful present aspect until her “bazillion”
was neutralized to zero. We tapped on the feeling of tightness in her body
when she thought she couldn’ t have it but wanted it so much . This, too,
subsided to zero. However , now the big feelings about missing her father and the way he
had doted on her skyrocketed in intensity in both her body sensations and
feelings about him. We tapped several rounds on different aspects of her
missing him until she was able to talk about it with neutrality . Paying
attention to intuition is important with EFT . I asked Zoe to simply hold the candy in her hand without unwrapping it. Again, we tapped on the incre ase in the “wanting” intensity . When that
subsided, I asked her to unwra p the little kiss. She hesitated—she didn’ t
want to open it and not eat it, it would be wasted. We tapped on her concern
about wasting things, which had been another theme in her growing-upyears. We then tapped on the smell of the chocolate, on the fact that they
were on sale, and like her father before her, she had always  bought candy
on sale. She had associated candy on sale with receiving gifts from her
father and the great love she experienced as a result. We tapped on the fact that she gave much of this candy away to the kids
in her dance studio and to strang ers on the street. We tapped on how good it
felt to give these presents away to others, how “sweet” it was. We tapped on
her need to please others and then how she couldn’ t just eat one but had to
eat a whole bag. We tapped on how bad all this sugar actually was for her. We tapped on every sensual aspect of the candy that gave her intensity . Then we tapped on her own self-talk/inner critic related to the candy: “I
am a pig. I am a glutton. I am not honoring my body . This is disgusting. I
am ashamed. What’ s wrong with me?”
You might think  that because I was a friend of hers, I would have said
something to quickly reassure her: “No, you’re not disgusting and you’re
not a pig! I really admire you.” But that’s exactly what she didn’ t need—
one more person to not listen to her. I needed to validate her feelings and
listen to her without being judgmental to support her as she moved through
her craving addiction. She needed to work through all the negative aspects
first. I knew she wasn’ t those things she was calling herself, but I needed to
meet her at the point where she was standing, not where I wanted her to be. Throughout this round of tapping, I continually checked and rechecked
how she was feeling about wanting the candy in the moment. Zoe’s need
was subsiding as we tapped down all the aspects relating to the craving. Sometime durin g this process, it came to mind that her father had
especially given  her approval when she was giving love away to others
(which later led us to another core issue that was resolved). She came to
understand that by purchasing the candy , she was trying to recreate that
loving, safe relationship she had as a child with her father . “I wanted to be
loved in that same way, and the candy was helping me recreate the feeling.”
Her craving disappeared, never to return. We asked her brain networking
to rewire so that she no longer needed to access the loving mem ories of herfather through these candies—she could have the love and good memories
with her all the time. This is a variation of Gold Standard EFT. (As you
know , even Gold Standard founder Gary Craig is, as of this writing,
exploring a form of EFT—Opt imal EFT—that doesn’ t involve tapping at
all.) Zoe and I tapped for letting candy be candy and love be an emotion,
two separate and distinct things, not mixed together anymore. Here are a few paraphrases of our setups for tapping rounds:
Even though I love this candy , I am choosing to let candy be candy and
love be love. Even though I have associated candy with love, I now
know candy is just a piece of colored sugar and has nothing to do with
the love I feel for my father and the love he shared with me. Even though Dad isn’t with me now, I can feel this good feeling
anytime I think of him; I no longer need candy to experience this deep
love. I’m asking my brain circuitry to redo and reboot so all parts of me
know and live from the space that love and candy are no longer
connnected. I no longer need candy to experience the love. I can
experience that at anytime. After about forty-five minutes, she had no desire for the candy . In fact,
when she did taste it (I requeste d that she taste it—you always need to test
or how will you really know? ), she didn’ t want it. It no longer even tasted
good to her! She never looked back, either , and the craving never
resurfaced. Exercise: Getting Curious about Cravings
We’re going to focus on cravings for food (the ones you can’t control),
although the directions can apply to any type of addiction. Use the craved
object as your tar get when you review the questions in the exercise below .Step 1. Start tapping now as you work. Why harbor unnecessary upset? As you read, tap down the points, from the top of the head through the
under arm point. You can also tap on your fingertips or hold the palm of
your hand against a particular point and massage that area as you read. Step 2. In your EFT journal create a heading: “Cravings.”  List any
cravings that come to mind. Choose just one to start. If just writing your list you feel yourself getting upset or falling into a
crave hole, stop right there. As Buddhist teacher Tara Brach says, “soften”
around the upset, rather than shun it. And start tapping, of course. Use the
Tarzan tap, the fingertip taps, or any other point you like. You can also tap a
Gold Standard EFT basic recipe on the feelings  that have been stimulated,
allowing the intensity to subside before moving on. As I have indicated
before, use your judgment about accessing additional support as you
navigate the exercises. What if you were curious about your craving, instead of angry , ashamed,
or some other challenging emotion? What benefits are you receiving from the craving? For example: It’ s my
pacifier . It makes me feel better . I love it. It helps me feel connected. It
soothes me. I get distracted so I don’ t have to think about all my
problems. What don’ t you want to see, feel, experience, or think abo ut that results
in the craving? Is it to soothe, cover up, or distract yourself from
another issue? For example: It tastes good. It takes my attention away
from my loneliness. It distracts me from how much I hate my job. It
helps me for get how miserable my life is. I don’ t have to think about  …
. Are there specific times of day when cravings rise? After work, once the
kids are in bed, after a stressful encounter? What about at bedtime when
the house is quiet? Perhaps it’ s at the gym when you see skinny people
and compare yourself unfavorably . Or are there physical triggers, like
the smell of fresh pastries at your favorite store, or the aroma of cof fee?Consider visual triggers too: driving by the candy store, the pastry shop,
even the gas station . Are there certain situations, past events, or people who seem to trigger
your craving? What memories are associated with the craving? They can be positive or
negative. For example, someone with a carb and bread craving
remembers that her grandmother used to bake fresh bread. She
remembers her grandma’ s kindness and the safety she felt, and she
associates both with the smell of the bread. She craves that feeling, that
comfort. Someone else might associate a bad memory with their crave
object. He may remember the time his father used to knock him around
calling him a dummy; the food displaced the emotional pain. When’ s the first time you felt this craving feeling? What was happening
in your life or the life of your family when you first experienced the
craving? What does this crave feeling remind you of? Allow yourself to imagine how would your life be different if you were
craving-free and had power over the craving. Write down how your life
would be different. Imagine a day in your new life if you can. And
remember , no one is making you give it up until you are good and ready . If
this part is too painful, let it be for now and return to it once you have
tapped on more crave aspects. The answ ers to the previous questions are fodder for your tapping. What
are the drivers of your cravings? If they are helping you hold up a part of
your life that you are otherwise extremely unhappy with, you may need to
experience some uncomfortable feelings. Tapping will help you uncover
this. The idea is that once the feeling s underneath that craving are neutralized,
the disturbance in the body’ s energy system will also be resolved. The
cravings then disappear . In fact, many clients often say the same thing: “I
don’t even like that food/drink/ snack now! It doesn’ t even taste good.” Be
prepared. I didn’ t think I had an unhealthy attitude toward dark chocolate,but after tapping with clients on clearing their cravings, I lost my desire for
it! Step 3. Please note that if you are feeling overwhelmed, like you are
doing something wrong and that it’s impossible for you to ever get over
this, or you’v e tapped on these feelings but are still feeling negative
thoughts and feelings, or comp lete dissociation, all this means is that you
have brought up big stuff. You likely need help navigating through it. Congratulate yourself instead of beating yourself up, and then take the next
step of getting the support of an EFT expert or a mental health professional
to help you through it. All you need are compassion and care as you touch
on old, deep hurts. Exercise: Clearing Specific Food Cravings
As you read instructions, please start tapping on one of your favorite
tapping points. Do this continuously until it’s time for a whole round of
EFT basic recipe. You can also use the exercises and questions in this
chapter to apply to other addictive substances, obsessions, behaviors, and
the like. And you can return to these exercises again and again, getting
something new each time from them. Step 1. Get your EFT journal, and choose one food or treat you turn to for
cravings. Is it in the house? Ideally , you would have the crave-object in the
house. Actually , this type of tapping works best when the object of desire is
right in front of you. Be specific! If it’s Lay’s Original potato chips or Ben
and Jerry’ s Chubby Hubby ice cream or big bags of gluten-free raw dried
kale whatever , obtain whatever you crave the most, not the discount knock-
off brand. This way you’ll get more bang for your buck. And if you are
resistant to clearing the craving or somehow afraid about what’ s going to
happen, or that you won’ t be able to handle it, or that you don’t really want
to do this, or you don’t believe this will work, or there’ s just so much that’s
wrong with you, or you’re afraid  to let this go for fear of what’ s underneathit, then tap on all of that before moving on to step 2 with the crave object
itself. This is called clearing resistance, like getting the snow of f the ice rink
so you can skate smoothly . Remember , we’re all human; there’ s a lot to
heal. And it sure feels good when you’re choosing to connect with yourself. Just for the heck of it, can you remember a time when you felt closely
connected to yourself and the world? Did it involve a crave object? Probably not. Step 2. You can start with the crave object in another room, across the
room, or on a table in front of you, or even resting in your lap or hand. If
just thinking about the crave object brings you up to a 10 on the intensity
scale, start there. Let’s say the crave object is right in front of you. Rate
how much you want your crave  object, on the 0 to 10 scale. Write down
your number . Where in your body do you feel that wanting, and how
intense is the feeling? Write that number down too. While you don’t need to
tap specifically on your body feeling relating to the craving, you do want to
check in regularly about where it has moved and if it has subsided or
increased in intensity as you tap on the crave object. Step 3. Now that you have an intensity number , you can give the crave
object a nickname or a title if you so desire, such as “The Seducer ,” or “My
Ruin,” or “The Sweet.” Go ahead and perform the EFT basic recipe focused
on the general wanting of the crave object. Apply tapping until your desire
goes down to a manageable level where you are not feeling impelled. If you
need to tap through several rounds to get there, do so. We’ll use the example of M&M s as the crave object. Please customize
this EFT setup to reflect your own specific craving. Rememb er, the EFT
basic recipe includes the setup statement as well as the tapping down of the
points or the EFT sequence from the top of the head down through under
the arm. Repeat while tapping on the Karate Chop point one to three times: “Even
though I want these M&Ms now, I deeply and completely accept myself.”
Try the reminder phrase  “want these M&Ms now.” Additionally , if youhave located a specific place or guessed at where in your body you are
feeling this wanting, you can create a tapping round and run through the
basic recipe like so: “Even though I feel this big wanting in my chest (or
wherever you feel it—in the throat or like nausea in the stomach), I deeply
and completely accept myself.”
These examples of EFT setup phrases will give you ideas abou t where a
person can go. Please note that each would be one round of EFT—it’ s a
setup statement , tapping down the points, and testing (and retesting)
intensity . Here are more setups for your inspiration:
Even though a part of me must have these M&Ms right now, I deeply
and completely love and accept  myself. (Forgive, myself, love myself,
honor myself … )
Even though a part of me needs them right this second, that’s okay . I
choose peace. Even though I can’t bear the thought of this one little treat being taken
away from me because I have so little I enjoy in my life … . Consider exaggerating—or it may feel to you like this is no  
exaggeration:
Even though it feels like I won’t survive without these M&Ms in my
life … . Even though a part of me thinks I’ll die if I don’t get these M&M s right
now … . Even though I’m drawn to them  the way a vampire is drawn to blood
… . Or power struggle with the r ebel inside:
Even though I’m never going to give them up, and you can’t make me,
I love myself just as I am … .Even though I’ll die if I have to give them up, please don’t make me
give them up … . Step 4. After performin g a round with one or more EFT sequences from
the top of the head to under the arm with the reminder or problem phrase,
test how much you want your crave object (the M&Ms) and if the body
sensation relating to it has chan ged. If the craving has subsided to below a
2, it’s time to take the next step. Otherwise, keep tapping on the general,
overall craving until it dips below a 2 before moving on. Step 4a. Sometimes, the craving won’ t drop because too many aspects are
flooding your mind all at once . Then ask yourself what is one thing that
jumps out about how much you want the M&Ms and tap on that one thing
only. Stay completely focused on just that one aspect until it subsides. If
you do not expe rience a decrease in your intensity , ask yourself what is in
the way. What’ s the upside of keeping the craving? Tap on that. You may
also consider just setting it aside until later and starting again, or you could
come at it from a dif ferent angle. And of course, you always have the option
to obtain the support of an EFT practitioner experienced in clearing
cravings. Step 5. If you have dropped down below a 2 after tapping on the first
round, ask yourself about the next quality that jumps out at you about your
crave object that makes you want it? It could be a positive or a negative. Here’ s what comes to mind when looking at the M&Ms bag: “the bag is
ugly but the colors inside are so bright and shiny .” Notice that these are
technically three  different aspects (ugly bag, bright colors, shiny colors). When you have several aspects like this that are so closely linked, you
could combine them or start with one of these aspects—the highest one—
then go for the other two once that one subsides. Probably one round would
do it on each. Now rate your intensity of feeling about each quality on the 0
to 10 scale.Step 6. Let’s say you want to combine “bright” and “shiny colors.” Create
a setup phrase focusing on these qualities. For the M&Ms, it would be:
“Even though the colors inside are so bright and shiny and I want them, I
deeply and completely accept myself.”  You would then repeat your EFT
setup one to three times while continuously tapping on your Karate Chop
point. Again, identify where in your body you feel this, you might say:
Even though the colors inside are so bright and shiny and I feel this in my
trembling arms … . Step 7. Go to work on the tap-down points, from the top of the head to
the underarm point using your reminder or problem phrase. (In the case of
the M&Ms: “Bright and shiny  colors—I want them!”) This might also be a
time to try tapping on the finge r points and the Nine Gamut series. You’ll
find these additional tapping points in Chapter 2 . Step 7a. You might start experiencing resistance to tapping and giving up
your craving. If this is the case, before you go on to tap on the bright and
shiny color , honor the rebel inside and acknowledge the resistance and fear. You can customize the following examples. Remember to check intensity ,
karate chop while saying the statement one to three times, then tap through
the EFT sequence while saying your reminder phrase. Even though I question who I will be if I give this up, I accept  myself
and how I feel. Even though this is the one thing I know that helps calm me down, I
love myself anyway and respect this process. Even though I’m not giving these up and you can’t make me, I
completely accept all parts of me, including the younger me who
maybe didn’ t get enough love or attention when she was growing up. Step 7b. At this point, you might start experiencing some sadness, upset ,
loneliness, or grief or any other emotion that at one time wasn’ t okay or
safe to feel. You may not know  where these feelings come from or which
event they may be related to. That’ s okay , tap on it anyway . Focus on thefeeling—it is part of what’ s holding the craving locked in place . I can’t tell
you how many people are surprised at how much emotion they feel at some
point during these exercises. Again, it’s part and parcel of the process—you
are allow ing these trapped feelings to release, but you have to feel them
first. Step 8. Let’s return to “bright and shiny”  from step 7. Once you have
tapped a few EFT sequences  using the reminder phrase, retest your
intensity . If the compulsion toward your crave object because they are
bright and shiny has gone down to a 2 or below , move on to a different
aspect that’ s enchanting you. Step 9. You continue this way, performing the EFT basic recipe and
tapping down the points on every aspect that comes up relating to your
craving until all are neutralized  to zero. You’ll see some suggestions for
amping up the craving and testing for intensity in step 1 1. Note: If you feel suddenly flooded with emotion, keep tapping while
tuned into the feelings; they will pass. When you’re tuned in like this, you
can let go of the words. Step 10. At a certain point, some people will clear the body feeling, the
feeling of the craving, and then get in touch with a specific memory that
happened much earlier in their lives that is where the core disruption
happened. This means the mem ory is linked to the origins of the craving. Maybe Sam, in exploring the origins of his cravings and overeating of salty
foods, remembers back to his childhood, when he used to gobble junk food
before his paren ts got home from work. It turns out he had perfectionist
parents who expected far too much of him, and he turned to food to comfort
and insulate himself against the anxiety he felt when his parents were home. He got approval  from doing what was “beyond his means” but at a cost that
he still is paying off today . How could he clear this? Look for specific
events and apply T ell the Story technique. Some people won’t remember any specific past event, but the intensity of
the body sensations and feelings are still happening. In cases like these, thememory may be “implicit,” meaning not consciously remember ed. You can
go ahead and make up an event in this case and tap on aspects just as you
would a “real” past event. Y ou are still accessing the core disruption. Step 11. Maybe you have resolved the feelings. Maybe you just ate the
crave object. Okay, we will take a moment to tap on being okay no matter
what just happened. Beating yourself up hasn’ t worked, so how about
accepting yourself instead? Even though I just ate the thing I want to get rid of and I can’t stand it,
I deeply and completely accept and forgive myself. (Reminder phrase:
“can’ t stand that I just ate it”)
Even though I feel like I failed, I love myself anyway . (Reminder
phrase: “feel like a failure”)
Even though I feel so much despair and hopelessness because I gave in
again, I love, honor , and accep t myself, even if I never get over this. (Reminder phrase:  “this despair and hopelessness”)
After giving in to a craving, this could be a point where a tapalong can
allow you an emotional break from the deep stuff—like a wayside rest on
the side of a beautiful winding road with an amazing vista in the distance. This is an alternative to Gold Standard EFT. Here you talk through your
feelings, whatever comes up. Y ou can customize as you see fit:
Top of head:  I ate the whole darn thing, and I feel like such a failure. Inside eyebrow:  I was supposed to get over this, not give in to it. Outside eye:  Will I ever get through this? Side of eye:  I have no self-control. Under nose:  I don’t want anyone to know about this. I’m going to keep it a
secret. I’m so ashamed. Chin:  What if I never get over this? Collarbone:  I wish I didn’ t feel this way, but I do. Or maybe it just means
the craving is sitting on some pretty big feelings and hurts.Under arm:  Compassion might be more useful here than beating myself up. I alread y know how to beat myself up. Now , I’m learning self-
compassion. How would it feel to just accept what happened and be okay
with it? Second sequence
Top of head:  Still, I should be able to get over this. I should. I’m strong
enough. I’m good enough. I’m capable enough. Just not about this. And it
matters so much to me. Inside eyebrow:  I’m sad that I can’ t seem to do it. Side of eye: I’m angry that I can’t seem to fix this. I’m mad that the tapping
doesn’ t seem to work … or maybe it’s working too well and bringing up
all the big feelin gs that I didn’ t even know were under wraps … . Maybe
I could give myself some compassion. Under eye: Compassion? Yeah, right. Here I am tapping to give up the
craving, but I gave into it. If feels so disappointing, like I’ll never get it
right. Under nose:  But I want to make this change. It’s hard to feel the feelings
that tapping brings up. That’ s what feels hard. But the feelings are
moving through—finally . Chin:  Am I ready to get over it? Do I really want to? Do I really have to? What if I have to make changes I’m not ready to make? Collarbone: And what if I don’t? What if I don’t have to do anything till
I’m good and ready . Even if I never release this craving, I’m still okay ,
lovable, worthy , and sometimes even fun and joyful. I’m still a human
being who has value and is worthy of love, including self-love. Under arm:  What if I could accept myself just as I am, craving and all? After all, the craving isn’t all of me. It’s just a habit I learned a long time
ago. I’m just unlearning it now . Top of head:  What if I could accept that I ate the (crave object), even when
I didn’t want to, and it’s still okay? Did I learn to walk in a day? Did Ilearn to talk in a day? I’m just learning a new skill, and I give myself the
time I need to feel my feelings and practice. I honor this process and I
honor and acknowledge my courage, faith, strength, resilience, and
highest self. Step 12. Back to the main exercise. If you have resolved the feelings ,
sensations, resistance, thoughts,  events, relating to the craving , now draw
on all your senses to answer any of these questions that are relevant to your
craving to elicit intensity . This is called uncovering hidden aspects. Tap
down the intens ity on anything that elicits intensity , all the way down to
zero, or until you no longer have any desire for the crave object. When you put the package in your hand, how much do you want it now
on the 0 to 10 scale? When you open the package, how much do you want it now? When you see the contents of the package, how much do you want it? When you smell the contents of the package, how much do you want it? When you bring the contents closer to you, how much do you want it? When you think that you will not get to have the contents of the
package, how much do you want it? When you are afraid you’ll be deprived or you’re worried about what
you’ll do or who you’ll be without access to the contents of the
package, how much do you want it? What does this crave object represent to you? What feelings are associated with the crave object (include positive,
negative, shame, and self-judgment feelings)? What self-talk is associated with the crave object? What specific memories are associated with the crave object? What is this crave object protecting you from? What is it making up for
in your life? Do the feelings under the crave object remind you of any events in your
life in which you had similar feelings? What specifically does this crave object give you?If there were a metaphor for this crave object, what would it be? Step 13. Ask yourself if you are neutral  about the crave object. If so, do
the in situ  test. Put yourse lf in the situation with the crave object, and tap on
anything else that arises until you are fully neutral about the crave object. If
you have a donut craving from a specific store, you will be able to go to that
store and pass it by without any feeling of wanting. If you do have wanting,
tap on that. Remember to also include tapping for what the object represen ts to you. Separate the food from the emotion, as I described in Zoe’s case earlier . In
Zoe’s case, the emotional issues under the cravings were positive and
comforting. More often, however , the issues are times in a person’ s life
when he or she has felt scared, alone, helpless, or lost. When the craving is
salty, ask yourself, what does this salt need represent to me? Rubbing salt in
the wound in your life? Sweet cravings? Where do you need more
sweetness, kindness, and love in your life? For a cheese craving: Where
does it not feel safe to express yourself or be who you are? Where do you
feel the need to insulate yourself to protect your vulnerability ? How can
you give yourself (or a younger version of yourself) what you needed? Weight Issues and Body Image and Stress
As you probably know by now, losing weight isn’t really  about the weight. As you found out with cravings, it’s not the object that’s the problem. It’s
what’ s under the craving that’s driving the craving—undigested emotional
drivers keeping the weight on. These types of issues are what may be in the
way of accepting yourself with confidence and joy . What you may not know is that not being able to accept yourself as you
are or how you look, can cause stress. If each time you see your reflection
you feel horrible about yourse lf, if each time you’re at the gym you’re
embarrassed and judgmental and jealous, you are creating a stressful
situation inside. The mind creates a negative cascade, sending an electrical
impulse to every part of your body letting it know you’re stressed out. It
initiates product ion of the hormo ne cortisol, which is known to keep weighton a body and is a culprit in many other diseases, including adult-onset
diabetes. Cortis ol is nicknamed the “weight-gain hormone.” If you are
consistently telling yourself how bad you look, how fat you are, how
hopeless your situation is, that you can’t possibly be happy until you
achieve your target weight, or similar , you’ll be under significant amounts
of stress. Every time you think  about or look at your body , feel hungry ,
consider eating,  or compare yourself to someone else’s body , your body
listens—it can’t help it! And it will respond (obey your orders) by releasing
cortisol. If this is what happens for you, interrupt the downward spiral by tapping
right there on the spot. You can heal! There will be a time in your life when
you accept your body—maybe even love your body (or at least like it a little
bit)—just as it is. (Even though I don’t believe her … it will never happen
for me … I’d sure like to believe it.) With acceptance, you may still have pain, but your resistance  to realit y is
what causes suffering. And as you unearth the emotional drivers under the
cravings, the entire issue will collapse. Exercise: Experimenting with Self-T alk
Does this kind of self-talk abou t the future sound familiar? I’ll be happy
when … . I’ll have a good life when … . If I could just lose ____, I’d … . Ask yourself what you believe to be true about your life because of your
weight. For example, I’ll never have the boyfriend, the wedding, the trip,
the promotion … until I lose ____ pounds. This fantasy ideal may be the
thing in your way! Ask yourself, What if I didn’ t need to weigh
150/99/250/130/180/ pounds to be happy , have peace, enjoy life, have more
fun, dress well, and feel lighter ? Focus on the feeling that question gives
you. Find the feeling and tap on it until the weight no longer matters. It’s
metaphorical weight. You will have found the real feelings, memories,
drivers, and roots beneath the weight—and that’s something you can tap on. As always, things change when you tap. When the weight no longermatters, who knows what wonders your feelings of self-acceptance will do
for your life and body . Case Study: Rooting Out Memories,  
Weight and Body Themes, Clearing Guilt
In this story , the experiences of a client named Shelley illustrate the
importance of rooting out the early memories around weight , food, and
body image and how becoming aware of yours can reduce the stress and
anxiety that lead to overeating. When you clear the guilt, shame, blame, and
other hurtful feelings, you unlock the reasons you hold on to the weight. Shelley experien ced stress dozens, maybe hundreds of times a day with
all of her negati ve thoughts, beliefs, talk, and feelings about her weight and
body . On the outside, it looked like she had everything. She was an
intelligent, caring woman in her mid-thirties, a master therapist with a
successful career . But she was locked in a world where she bombarded
herself with insecurities about her weight and her body . She noted using
eating to assuage her feelings of insecurity in relation  to just about everyone
else in the world. She didn’ t feel comfortable in her own skin and even
stressed out about whether what she was wearing was going to meet the
approval of her colleagues. Her fears made no logical sense, but they made
emotional sense  given her background. An oldest child, while growing up
she was the one who always had to “look perfect” and “be the best,” and
“take care of everyone else” to get approval. Shelley’ s goal was to end the horrible haunting she experienc ed every
day, find peace in who she was, feel comfortable in her own body , and lose
weight. But before she could do any of that, she needed to lose some of the
emotional  weight and upset that was actually weighing her down in many
different areas of her life. As is common with many individuals dealing with painful weight and
body-acceptance challenges, Shelley regularly thought about negative
images throughout the day. Whenever she felt stress, anxiety , or upset, shethought about food and eating;  whenever she looked in a mirror or store
window , she remembered her latest overeating, her lack of control around
food cravings, and the number of failed diets she’d had. From there it was
easy to unfavora bly compare herself to any woman around her age at the
gym, a restaurant, or an event. She even began worrying that the waitress
would think she was eating too much if she ordered a substantia l meal. And
because she was also in the National Guard, she would be regularly
weighed, so she was on her guard with anything weight-related. Can you see the many specific events or issues under her feelings about
her weight? Did you notice how her constant negative self-talk and self-
image af fected her weight and her confidence? Many things triggered her, but I asked her questions to discover what
feelings were underneath the situations that eating helped her assuage. “The
feeling that I’m a fake and a fraud,” she said. What if people found out? Her
answer: “Then they will see me and I’ll be left all alone.”  And then? “And
then I’ll die alone.”
This way of thinking is quite common. If you ask yourself what will
happen when the “bad” thing happens, you will likely go down the rabbit
hole of being left to die all alone, a horrible death. Regularly start asking
yourself about the worst-case scenario if the “bad” thing happ ens … and
then what  … and what then … ? You’ll inevitably find out that saying no to
your pushy sister is somehow equated in your emotional being with being
cast out of the tribe and dying in isolation. Again, it’s just another way to
begin to tap around the edges of old, big hurts and begin clearing them. We’ll continue with Shelley’ s story after this exercise. Please customize
as you see fit. Exercise: T o Take the Edge Of f, Start Slow
Let’s start with something global: “I don’ t like the way I look.”
Step 1. Pick something specific about the way you look that you don’t
like: poochy stomach, gray hair, wrinkles, bad teeth, big feet, varicoseveins, too short or tall, too fat or skinny , big thighs, a limp, a birthmark, etc. Step 2. Rate your tapping tar get’s intensity on the 0 to 10 scale. Step 3. Tap continuous ly on the Karate  Chop point while repeating three
times your phrase that captures the tapping target intensity for you, such as:
“Even though I don’t like the way I look, don’t like my poochy stomach, I
deeply and completely accept myself.”
Step 4. Tap down the points using a reminder phrase that reminds you of
the problem, such as: “ poochy stomach.”
Step 5. After tapping, rate your intensit y again. If it’s higher than a 2, get
even more speci fic about this one aspect you don’t like. Repeat if necessary
(meaning your intensity is a 2 or more) before going to the next aspect on
your personal list. Step 6. Tap as already described above with the new aspects one at a time
until the intensity subsides on each one. Think of ocean waves that break on
the beach and recede. Step 7. You can go deeper into this exercise by using a mirror and tapping
on the intensity  that arises when you look at your body . I went from
disliking my gray hair to ownin g my worth as a woman of wisdom. I’m a
woman who has lived a full and wonderful life, and I grew my hair out. It’s
now shoulder length and I love it. Going Deeper into W eighty Issues
Remember the metaphor idea? Just the word “weight” can be a metaphor
for your life. What is weigh ing you down? What in your life do you find
too heav y? What is weighty in your life that you must take very seriously? Now think about the phrase “weight loss.” “Loss” signifies something
departing, and with loss comes sadness and grief. No wonder we don’t want
to “lose”  our weight! Try replacing the phrase “weight loss” with “weightrelease.” The word “release” connotes freedom and relief; and with that
comes joy and happiness. Here are a few more questions to consider . What do you believe to be true
about yourself or the world or life because of this aspect of yourself that
you don’t like or find upsetting? What proof (events) do you have that this
aspect about yourself is true? What’s the self-talk now about your weight,
body image, or food?
_OceanofPDF.com_Tapping_Into_Wellness_-_Kathilyn_Solomon.txt
Summarize the following text section accurately and concisely. Maintain specific details and numerical information, and use anti-repetition mechanisms:

        Adults  have cleared phobias that include fear of public speaking,social anxiety, elevators, dentists, doctors, heights, water, driving, airplane
travel, stairs and escalators, insects and snakes, and claustrophobia. Tapping doesn’ t remove your notions of safety and common sense. It
resolves the energy disruption at the heart of your mind-body’ s excessive
response to the specific stimulus causing you to involuntarily overreact. More than 11 percent of people will have a phobia at some point in their
lives. 24 The percentage is likely higher, as those with phobias often keep
their problem a secret, reporting privately that they are ashamed. How Do Phobias Start. At the heart of your fear response is a disruption in your body’s energy
system. Recall the Discovery Statement from Chapter 1: “The cause of all
negative emotio ns is a disruptio n in the body’ s energy system. ”  In the case
of phobia, something you experienced hurt or scared you. You experienced
an energy disruption, according to EFT. Your “primitive” brain took control
to keep you safe from danger. Your phobic reaction alert is ongo ing in your
remarkable limbic brain, whose amazing memory cache is much like RAM
on your computer. That is, the mind  will keep reacting to the original threat
in the same way until you are able to resolve the energy disrupti on from the
initial trauma. This is why each time you come in contact with or anywhere
near the fearful target, your protector and survival-focused brain is saying,
“Danger. Dange r. Stay away. ” That’ s why you haven’ t been  able to do
anything—until today. It might be useful for you to tap while you read. You can try tapping
continuously on the fingertip points, starting with the tip of the thumb,
index finger, third finger, and pinkie. Or tap the gamut point, between the
ring and pinkie on the top of the hand just behind the knuckle s. Why not
move that life force right on through. People with phobias can’t imagine coming into contact with their fear-
object, let alone resolving the phobia itself. With EFT, you are in control of
just how far you’ll go toward resolving your phobia. You stop as soon as
you experience a bit of discomfort and tap. You know by now that when you get specific about the events and the
aspects underneath them, you will access the actual emotional and
experiential contributors sustaining the phobic response. Apply the EFT
basic recipe one round at a time to each individual aspect of your fear. What if you don’t remember how and when the big fear started. Your
subconscious will do the work, accessing the deeper specific feelings and
issues under the phobia. If you need to know how the phobia  started, the
event will come to mind, with patience. If you don’t need to know, you
won’ t know how it started, but you will still neutralize your phobia. You
can use the stimulus itself as your tar get. Either way, it works. Case Study: Fear of Flying Neutralized
Ali had a fear of flying for as long as she could remember. She said, “In
college, when my parents offered to send airfare for me to fly the five
hundred miles home on a 45-mi nute plane trip, I chose the 8-hour bus ride. I didn’t want to get on a small plane. I didn’ t want to die that way. That’s
how scared I was. ”
As she regularly  had to travel overseas for her work and to visit friends
and family, flying was as much of a trauma for her flight-mates as it was for
her. As Ali explained it, she was a terrible person to sit next to. She
wouldn’ t get up during the flight. She white-knuckled from clenching so
tight, had vision s of crashing the entire time the plane was in the air, and
turbulence compelled her to grab the person next to her, stranger or not. Things came to a head when Ali received notice from her work that in
five weeks her job would require  her to fly to four different destinations in a
two-week time span. Having recently learned EFT she thought: “This is
going to be okay. I’m going to tap on this. ”
At the time she was involved in an online tapping group, so she
announced to the group her intentions, gathering support. She had five
weeks to resolve this lifelong phobia. She started like so: “Even though just
thinking about this upcoming flight I feel panic, I deeply and completely
accept myself. ”Then she tapped several times daily whenever she thought of the
upcoming trips, on every single specific aspect that came up: “Even though
I can’t breathe, there’ s not enough air; I don’t know if the pilot will have
been drinking; I hate air travel; I don’t like that I can’t tell what’ s going on;
I have no control” and so on. She tapped until she felt no intensity thinking
about any part of the travel, from arriving at the airport to landing. The true test came on flight day. “I remember looking at the plane,
stepping onto the plane, and realizing  my ‘radar ’ was not going out of
control. ” Her next thought was that she was hungry and she wondered what
they would serve on the flight. Food hadn’ t been part of the picture in the
past. Once in the air, she reports, “Instead of all the nega tive racing
thoughts, I was curious about what was going on around me. Looking out
the wind ow, I remembering thinking, ‘this is romantic, this is wonderf ul. ’”
At that point, she could still remember how the panic felt, but she didn’ t
have it. “I used to book a flight and start praying. Now I just think I used to
be afraid to fly. I don’ t have that anymore. ”
In that above case, Ali didn’ t know the origins of the phobia, and it didn’ t
matter. In the case that follows, there was an originating event. Case Study: Debbie and Fear of Stairs
Often one thing becomes linked  with another, eliciting a phob ic response. Debbie, age 45, was terrified of walking down but not up stairs. She had no
memory of a time when it didn’ t feel like she was going to die when she
had to walk downstairs; she had inched her way down stairs in terror her
whole life. We started at the top of five stories of stairs and tapped on all
aspects—every possible thought, feeling, sensation, and belie f—keeping
her from walking down one single stair. Aspects included: can’t look down,
nothing there, need to hold on, and more. After about ten minutes she took a
single step on her own. But then she wouldn’ t release her grip on the
railing. “I’ll fall,” she said. We had uncovered another aspect. We tapped
now on aspects relating to releasing her death grip on the railin g. Then, we
stepped back to the top. Now, I asked her to look down, imagine walkingwith the hand off the railing, to get her tuned back into the falling fear. I
then asked her what the falling fear reminded her of. As is common in situations with EFT, an early memory surfaced from
when she was five years old. Her family was hiking down a craggy bluff,
with Debbie lagging behind. Her parents were in front of her and arguing
loudly. Debbie had felt alone, scared, and uncomfortable, and she was also
quite close to the edge of the rocky hill. Shortly after that event,  her parents
divorced. Being  high up on the hill looking down while her parents argued
had been very scary, and it was the last time the family went on an outing
together. Someh ow, the fear of going down the hill had generalized to going
down regular stairs, crowded stairs, stairs with no railing and the like, and
they had been tightly linked ever since. But really, she had just been scared
about her paren ts arguing so heatedly and linked it to the big loss of her
father ’s regular presence and love. Once we resolved this issue, I had a
feeling she woul d be able to walk down stairs, and I was right. But were we
done. Soon after we felt “complete,” a whole group of people entered the
stairwell and her fear spiked. Now we tapped on the aspect of crowded
stairwells. She was walking up and down stairs “just like a regular person,”
no fear. The next session we went to steep, metal fire escape stairs to scan
for aspects and test our results. In fact, I was the one who had to tap on my
fear of the metal stairs. Ali was practically giddy with excitement she was
so happy to feel free of the fear that had haunted her all these years. She had
unlinked decades of terror and fear in just two sessions. Exercise: Overcoming Phobia:  
Get Curious, Ask Questions
When you clear  a phobia target with tapping, your questions will be like
guideposts to direct your tappin g. Note that the following questions may
look familiar to you, as they are the same types of questions we apply to
just about any bothersome problem. List them and your answ ers in yourEFT journal. They will help you uncover aspects and specific events to tap
on. When and where did my phobic response start. Who was with me. What was going on in my life at the time. When did the fear get worse. Do I remember a time that I didn’ t have it. What does this fear feeling remind me of. When do/did I remember having a feeling similar to this. How ashamed am I of the phobia. Am I keeping my phobia a secret. What will happen if I tell someone. What happens when I tell other people about my phobia. What do I believe about myself because of the phobia. Do I have a case of the “shoulds”. Y ou know the self-talk/inner critic: “ I
should not have,” “I’m wrong to have,” “I’m bad to have this,” “I’m a
loser  to have this,” etc. What happens when I see, hear, feel, touch, taste, or think of my fear
target. What are my body sensations when I think or come near my fear tar get. Does your breathing get shallow and fast. Is your chest tight, does your
gut feel like it’ s going to clench into a fist, are your legs trembling, can
you not seem to get enough air. How Long W ill It T ake. You might be wondering how long it will take you to clear your phobia. Everyone is different. You may clear the root of your phobia in five minutes
of tapping and resolve the probl em for good. Or it may take many rounds—
or even many days—to have a breakthrough. There may be hundreds of
aspects and several specific events you’ll need to tap on before your phobia
clears. Be persistent. You can heal this. You will likely need to put yourself
in the fear situation at some point to truly test for results. Working with a
practitioner can be especially useful in situations like these. Suggestions for W orking through Phobias
Look at your phobia as if it were an archeological site; do a little digging,
and you will see many civilizations buried one on top of anoth er. Remove
them one at a time and you will unearth everything you need to know to
clear your fear. If you have a fear of saying a target word, such as “snake,”
tap on “the s-word,” for examp le. Or you can use a code word that has
nothing to do with the phobia itself, like “my bunny friend,” or “the Tesla
factor,” or “the big yuck. ” If you feel ready, you can start to tap on saying
the name of your fear target out loud and tapping on the intensity that just
saying it elicits. Do this until you can actually say out loud the name of
your fear target with neutrality or something close to it. If you can’t get
there, then you may find working with a practitioner experienced in helping
clients resolve phobias useful. Exercise: T aking the Edge Of f  
Just Thinking of the T arget
Step 1. I cannot even think of my fear target without upset. If this speaks to
you, start there, at this outermost layer. Tap until you no longer feel
triggered and resistant when just thinking about the fear target. This is
similar to the Tearless Trauma  technique, approaching the most global
perspective possible to take the edge of f and be as comfortable as possible. Try customizing any one of these phrases to suit your own situation:
Even though I feel trapped, I deeply and completely love and accept
myself. Even though this fear has control over me, I deeply and profoundly
love and accept myself anyway. Even though there’ s a lot here, and I don’t know where to start, I
deeply and completely accept myself. Even though I’m terrified of certain things, I accept my terror and
myself. Even if I never get over this, I still love and accept myself anyw ay (or
that’s okay). Step 2. Remember to rate your intensity on just thinking about this issue
before creating your setup phrase, then karate chop: “Even though I don’t
even want to think about the fear I have, I deeply and profoundly accept
myself anyway. ” Now tap down the points with your reminder phrase
“don’ t even want to think abou t it,” and retest your intensity again,  just
about that one aspect of thinking about it. Step 3. Once you have  tapped that down to a neutral intensity and have
no resistance to thinking about the fear object, continue by tapping on every
single aspect that comes to mind, using the ratings scale as your feedback
loop. The most important factor is to not get ahead of yours elf but take
things one step at a time. If you push or rush past a detail that has not been
tapped down to zero, you are hampering your own efforts to resolve the
issue. Exercise: Fill in the Blanks
Here are a few more options for tapping around the edges of a phobia. These are the types of statemen ts I have used in my own pract ice, but you
can certainly create your own. These are a phobia’ s related thoughts and
beliefs:
Even though I’ll never get over this fear of _____________ (e. g. ,
escalators), I am still a good person. Even though I’m ____________ _(e.
A disruption in the body's energy system.
What is the primary cause of phobias?
It may take five minutes or many rounds, or even many days, and it's essential to be patient and persistent.
How long may it take to clear a phobia?
The tapping process resolves the energy disruption at the heart of the mind-body response, allowing the phobia to dissolve.
What is the purpose of the tapping process in clearing phobias?
Reframing is crucial in the EFT process as it allows the client to rewire their brain and reframe their negative thoughts and emotions.
What is the significance of reframing in the EFT process?
The primary focus of the EFT process is to identify and resolve the underlying emotional drivers of the phobia, rather than just treating the symptoms.
What is the primary focus of the EFT process?