Even though I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to make the changes I want
in my life, I deeply and completely accept myself anyway . Tapping softens up the hard feelings around sabotage. You can tap EFT
rounds on all the various feelings you find. Ask yourself how you would treat your best friend if they had done what
you did again. Would you condemn your friend for having a problem or
support and embrace them in their need? Model the same compassionate
behavior toward yourself. When you have to get rid of the problem behavior right now, this is your
panic button talking, and nothing else is going to happen while that panic
button is on, including resolving  the roots of your self-sabotage. Once you
begin to realize how sabotage is affecting you, it can be deeply troubling to
your conscious mind and ego. Rather than fixing it right away , acknowledge
that you’re working on it and accept your situation—you’re understanding
more about your life and your self, right? Once acknowledged , your panic
button can switch of f.
Here are some phrases to consider:
Even though I want this (name your sabotage) gone right away , and I
can’t believe I haven’ t resolved  it yet, I love myself, and I’m trying to
be grateful for the opportunity to gain a deeper understanding of myself
and who I am. Even though I need to get rid of this right now , I want to include all of
me in this process, even this part of me that I can’ t stand! If You’ve Got Shame, Blame, and Guilt in the W ay, Work with It! Use what you’ve got—it’ s great material for change. Shame, blame, and
guilt are the glue holding many unhelpful behaviors in place. When you
mess up, do you believe that you deserve everything you get, or that
somehow you earned it? When you fall into these common booby traps ofshame, blame, and/or guilt, it’s hard to get to the root origins—the
emotional drivers and ener gy disturbances—that compel the sabotage. Did a central figure in your growing up years regularly tell you “You
ought to be ashamed of yourself?” But seeing that through an adult’ s eyes,
does it make sense for a 5 or 6 year old to be ashamed of being curious, or
for wanting to eat all the cake? Our culture is laden with shame,  blame, and
guilt. Many of our ancestors also suffered and were kept in line using those
same negative ideas. Luckily we can begin to change all that with EFT . Here are some simple starters for working with these three troublesome
ideas:
Even though I’m ashamed/guilty/humiliated at what just happened,
what if I’m still a good person? Even though I’m so guilty for making that mistake again, what if I
could offer some compassion instead, since beating myself up has
never worked. Even though I feel really ashamed of myself for messing up again,
would I be so hard on my frien d or partner if they had “fallen off the
wagon” again? Even though I’m hearing Mom/Dad/the teacher ’s voice saying “You
ought to be ashamed of yourself” or “Shame on you,” I choose to be
proud and love that younger me. Even though I messed up again, I am still a good person, worthy of
love, respect, care, and compassion. General as they are, these phrases are starting points for you. Make Y our Self-T alk W ork for Y ou
Tune into a specific area of your life that you are currently sabotaging. Listen for those negative though ts, the inner critic, the constant  self-talk in
the back ground. They are there; we have up to 60,000 thoughts a day and a
majority of these can be negative. Here’ s some examples to get you started:I can’t do that. It will never work. Who do I think I am? Why would they
pick me? I’m not good enough. What if they see me and know the truth? Use these negative self-talk phrases to create your tapping setup statements. Write the crazy things that you think and tell yourself, take a look at the list
—it might be enough to bring back sanity . Tap on them. Pretend  you are an
anthropologist from some planet far away in the galaxy , studying the
foreign culture of You. Get really curious. Focus on What’ s Right
Focusing on what’ s wrong, not what’ s right, isn’t just a family issue, it’s a
cultural issue, and probably a biological one, as well. We were made to
survive, with a 24/7 survival radar looking for dangerous situations—in
other words, what’ s wrong. Com pensate by noting what’ s right. It takes half
a second to notice and memorize what’ s wrong, compared with twelve
seconds to absorb something good or positive. So savor the positives, even
if it’s as simple as a kind word a stranger said, a beautiful photograph , you
name it. You’ll find that focusin g on what’ s “right” is a lot easier on you,
while beating yourself up merely locks the problem in more completely . Consider creating a gratitude journal, and take your time to write what you
appreciate and are grateful for every day in your life. Remember to be
positive in simple ways, such as letting someone else go first in line,
smiling, expressing gratitude every time something feels good during your
day, and expressing thankfulnes s for opportunities to heal and learn when
things don’t go so well in your day. And don’t forget to tap—yo u build your
good, appreciation, gratitude, and happy muscle by exercising it many times
a day . Who Else in My Family Does This? You might ask: Who else did I see beating themselves up? About what? Do
you believe you have inherited this issue so you can’t possibly change? Start tapping on a belief that may feel real but isn’t true. Try tapping on any
early childhood events where you witnessed a loved one feeling  hopeless or
being too hard on him or herself.Explor e Your Beliefs Relating to Y our Own Self-Sabotage
It’s common for people to belie ve it’s impossible to change old, ingrained
habits and patter ns. But what if that itself is simply a belief and not what’ s
true? Could it be that you learned to be a certain way, to be accepted as part
of the family system? Is there a time you can remember that you weren’ t
“this way”—scattered, overweight, or unable to ask questions or stand up
for yourself? What’ s underneath the “it’ s just the way I am,” for you? Childhood Origins of Sabotage
Children under the age of seven typically view their parents as all-powerful,
and if anything is wrong, they quickly take on the blame rather than looking
at their parents with a critical eye. To survive, children quickly learn
survival skills within their family in order to get what they need—love,
acceptance, and approval. Child ren quickly absorb belief systems and ways
of behaving that may cover up the core of their being in attempts to get
what they need. But those unexpressed hidden feelings don’t go away until
they’re finally acknowledged.12
With EFT, we begin to tap on these old beliefs, and you have  far more
control over your emotions and thoughts than you think. Get Curious About Y our Beliefs; T ap on Whatever Resonates
What proof do you have that things have to be the way they are? Is it true
for other people or just you? Is it logically true or does it feel like an
emotional truth? It’ s time for a belief reboot of your system. Here are some sample phrases about change fears:
Even though I don’t believe it’s possible to change, I believe I can
accept myself and how I feel. Even though I believed I had to be perfect for things to be okay … . Even though I believed I wouldn’ t be loved if I didn’ t do what she
wanted … .Even though a part of me believ es that I can’t do it, and will never be
successful … . Even though it’s not okay to ask questions, because she might get upset
… . Even though I don’t rock the boat because all hell would break loose
and then it would all be my fault … . Even though nothing I did was ever good enough … . Even though I shouldn’ t want what I want and don’t deserve to have it
anyway , … . Imagine Life Dif ferently
You have far more control over your emotions and thoughts than you may
believe. Ask yourself what would happen if you did make a change, and
begin to look at your fears framed th at way . What happened when you made
a change before? What’ s in the way of you making this change? What’ s the
upside of staying  the same way? What’ s the downside of makin g a change? What does this resistance remin d you of? What’ s the earliest time you felt
this type of resistance to chang e? Where in your life do you sabotage the
most? Your answers can be easily turned into tapping targets. Where in your life
do you sabotage? Take out your EFT journal, and list the areas of your life
where you sabotage most often. What is it that brings on the sabotage? Review the last time you sabotaged and ask yourself what was happening
just before it happened. Tapping into these feelings and subconscious rules will reveal a
progression of thoughts and lead to options for change, which can feel
scary . Change often doesn’ t feel safe, but patiently tapping will soothe
negative feeling s and reveal surprising insights. Often hesitance is not about
the issue we initially assumed but about areas we’ve neglected and feelings
we’ve repressed for years.You can tell you’ve got black-and-white thinking about an issue in your
life when you ask yourself: What will happen if I do change? Take that
answer and ask yourself the same question again: What will happen then? And keep on asking the same question about what will happen. You will
find that after about three or four “what will happens,” the answer will
likely be something like “I’ll die and be all alone,” or “I’ll be isolated and
revealed for the fraud I am,” or “I’ll never go out again,” or something
extremely melodramatic. Take note—you’re not working with a logical
mind here but the need to process emotions. Conflict: People who Simultaneously W ant  
and Don’t W ant to Get Better
Sometimes there  are very good practical reasons for keeping a situation just
as it is, although we’re not consciously aware of them. “Secondary gain” is
the fancy term for the unconscio us desire to stay just as we are. Simply put,
there is some benefit you’re not yet aware of, that makes it seem safer to
keep the problem. Consciously thinking we want one thing while
unconsciously not feeling safe to have what we want keeps us stuck. EFT
helps uncover what is underneath this stubborn resistance. If you had to
guess  at a reason you’re finding resistance, what would it be? What are the
upsides and the downsides of making the change you say you want? Self-Sabotage Q & A Review
1. Which area of your life do you most often sabotage? Choose one specific
area of sabotage at a time and work through these questions. Your
answers will uncover a boatload  of tapping targets. What’ s your earliest
memory of feeling this way? Does this feeling remind you of anything? 2. When does the self-sabotage happen? Y our answer will give you tar gets. 3. What are the feelings associated with the sabotage? 4. What kind of self-talk do you have doing this? 5. What specifically triggers your self-sabotage? 6. What else was happening in your life at the time of the sabotage?7. What could your sabotage behavior be protecting you from? 8. What’ s the upside of allowing this sabotage behavior to continue? What’ s the downside of changing it? 9. How would your life be differen t if you eliminated self-sabotage in this
area of your life? 10. Imagine life free of the sabotage. Answers to these questions provide you with specific tapping targets
relating to your sabotage area. Remember to stay focused on one target,
event, or aspect at a time. This will help you clear intensi ty from specific
events or table legs holding up the sabotage tabletop in a comprehensive,
efficient, ef fective manner . Rate your intensity before tapping, then recheck
it after each tapping round, uncovering any hanging aspects. See the
progress you are making before moving on. If you still have questions about
getting specific , review Chapter 3 for guidance. And of course if you
believe tackling  this on your own might be a bit much, get the professional
support you need from a trustworthy EFT practitioner . Exercise: Imagine Better
Try offering your sabotage behavior a little vacation. Send it to the most
special, loving, wondrous place you can imagine, and let it know it can
come back after a little while. Allow yourself to experience how would it
feel if the self-sabotage behav ior was really gone. What would happen
specifically if your projects were in on time, you had the job of your
dreams, the relationship that fostered intimacy , the body confidence no
matter what your weight, the money for the new business, the recognition
for your work, or whatever it is you need? How would it feel waking up
without the sabotage behavior? What would a morning look like? How
would it feel in your body? What things would change in your life? What
would be different about how you felt about yourself? How would your life
change? Imagine what your day would look like. Use all senses, including
sight, sound, taste, touch, and don’ t forget smell.Releasing resistance. Note any resist ance to these musings in your EFT
journal, as you imagine living free of the sabotage behavior; note all the
“yes-buts” that come to mind. You can then tap on these one at a time as
you are able. Repeat this exercise regularly . Envisioning life without the sabotage will
help you dissolve the sabotaging behavior , reinforcing the possibility of
change. In Conclusion
We have explored the many facets of self-sabotage as well as how to
uncover your sabotage areas and zap them with EFT. As you dismantle the
underpinnings of your sabotage, you will see real possibilities for changing
your choices and patterns. With a bit of patience, honesty , persistence, and
the courage that resides within you, your self-sabotage will resolve, and
you’ll see its ef fect in areas of your life you can’ t even yet imagine. In the next chapter we will explore stress. It’s part of life, right? But do
we have to suf fer? Perhaps we can put stress to use for our benefit. [contents]12. Josh Korda and Geor ge Haas, “On the Roots of the False Self and a Return to Authenticity ,”
Podcast on Dharmapunxnyc.com, last modified August 13, 2014,
www .dharmapunxnyc.com/blog/2014/8/13/2fdz0k3fs5y5vuv5bjfa6xzp97h6iq. OceanofPDF .comChapter 7
Tapping for Relief from Stress  
and Being Overwhelmed
Is your stress dial stuck on high? In this chapter you’ll lower the stress
dimmer switch or shut the stress alert off entirely until you truly need it. If
you’re feeling stressed even reading about stress, how about tapping? You
can choo se one point or continuously tap on the tap-down points (top of the
head through under the arm), the Tarzan point, or continuously on the finger
points as you read through this chapter . It’s not that we want stress to disappear from the face of the planet; the
paradox of stress is that it is a necessary part of the fabric of our lives. It has
helped us adapt and evolve as a species. We were shivering cold back in the
day; inspired by stress we then created fire. Stress tells us we’re in danger
and has saved many a prehisto ric ancestor ’s neck. Nowaday s, when we
respond to stress instead of react and freak out, its presence can motivate  us
to inven t ways to make our lives work better . Stress can help us be flexible
and adaptive in our responses. “Respond” here means to be flexible and
responsive. It’s like having joints that allow us to bounce and pivot easily . “React,” by contrast, means frozen in place, more prone to injury . Stress is a given, so it’s how we handle stressful situations that makes a
difference. When stress gets to us, the same situation we handled easily
yesterday can feel overwhelming today . When we are consisten tly reacting
to stress ful situations instead of responsive to them, we lose perspective and
the stress button  gets stuck in the On position. A constant state of stress can
become a normal way of life for many who are living twenty-first-century
lifestyles, but our bodies don’ t like it.Scientists have confirmed the link between stress and illness; 85 percent
of all disease is linked to an emotional stress component. Stress drives
anxiety , compulsions, adrenal burnout, and even weight gain. Our bodies
take so much before they say, “Okay! Enough!” Let’s dissipate the
disruptions in our energy system caused by stress before they turn into
physical ailments. Are you tapping yet? Exercise: Global Stress Release
Does reading about stress … stress you out? Tap on that before you read on. “Even though reading about stress stresses me out, I deeply and completely
accept myself.” We’re going to aim EFT at releasing global stressors in our
lives. This particular exercise is an alternative to the traditional EFT model. See what you think. Stress Relief, Part 1
Step 1. How stressed are you or how stressful is your life right now on the 0
to 10 scale? Write your number  down in your EFT journal. Even if you are
not feeling any stress right now, borrow someone else’s stress and help
them out by tapping anyway . Or pick something specific that does stress
you out and rate its intensity . Step 2. Karate chop continuously while expressing an EFT setup
statement one or more times that portrays how stressful stress is to you. Here’ s an example for you to customize:
“Even though I’m stressed out (or “my life stresses me out”), I deeply
and completely accept myself.”
Now tap the EFT sequence or the points with this reminde r phrase,
starting with the top of the head , ending with the under -the-arm point: “I’m
stressed! Life is stressful!”  Run this EFT sequence a few times until you
notice a dif ference in your level of intensity .Step 3. What does your stress-o-meter say now? Take note of the level of
your stress on the 0 to 10 scale again. Note any differences in your number . If your level of stress continues to be above 4, tap another two or three
rounds until the level subsides to below 4. If something specific about your
stress comes to mind as you tap, note the specific issue and create an EFT
setup statement. Tap through the EFT basic recipe on that issue before
moving to step 4 of this exercise. Step 4. This next EFT setup statement is a reframe , where you restate the
problem in a way that is more optimistic, giving you a different perspective
from which to consider the issue. Reframes work when the person tapping
is ready to receive them. Otherwise, they bounce of f like a ball. Express your EFT setup phras e aloud one to three times while karate
chopping on the side of the hand:
“Even though I’m stressed, what if this chapter has some stress-
dissolving techniques for me that ease my stress?”
Step 5. One round from top of head through the points:
Top of head: I’m stressed! Inside eyebrow:  This stress. Side of eye:  Too much stress. Under eye:  My body on stress. Under nose:  All the stress in my life. Chin:  Too much stress. Collarbone:  Ugh, stress. Under arm:  I hate it and I want it to go away! Step 6. Perform the EFT sequence (the tap-down points) using the
following variations for the reminder phrase or your own version. Top of head: Is it possible this stress-busting tool will work for me? Inside eyebrow:  No way! How’ s this tapping gonna relieve my stress?Side of eye: Ghostbusters worked for ghosts. What about stress busters? Is
it possible that there are some stress-busting tools for me? Under eye:  Could there be ways for me to ease my stress load? Under nose:  Nah, that would be too easy . Chin:  What if it’s easier than I think,  and all my thoughts, doubts, fears,
and guilts are making it harder? What if this tapping actua lly helps
relieve the way I react to stress? Collarbone:  It would feel so great to release some of this stress. Under arm:  I’d have  more patience with the [kids, dogs, spouse, work,
colleagues], I’d have more energy, I’d sleep better , I’d like myself better
and feel better about my life. Stress Relief, Part 2
Step 1. List the stressors in your life and jot them down in your EFT
journal. Now how stressed are you about stress? Rate your stress  on the 0 to
10 scale and write the number down. Step 2. Perform the EFT basic recipe. Create a setup statement that
characterizes how stressed you feel about all the stressors in your life. Express your EFT setup statement aloud one or more times while karate
chopping continuously , such as:
Even though I have way too much stress in my life, I deeply and
completely love, honor , and accept myself. Even though I’m stressed, and I’ve got good reason to be stressed out,
I’m still a good person, and I accept myself and how I feel. Tap down the points:
Top of head:  I’m stressed out. Even reading about stress stresses me out! Inside eyebrow:  I’ve got too much to do! Side of eye:  Ugh ... all this stress! Under eye: There’ s just way too much stress in my life. I’ve got ... . (list
your stressors or select a few that fit and make each stressor a differentpoint on the EFT sequence. You can repeat a couple of sequenc es: needy
kids, needy spouse, needy parent, needy dog, my demanding work, the
crazy commute,  my weight, my crazy boss, the merger, my kids’ puppy
that won’ t stop chewing everything, lack of money , all the bills, all my
unfinished projects, the dirty laundry , nobody listens to me, what if I
don’t get well, this messy house, stressed people all around me, all those
emails … .) Under nose:  All this stress. I’m tired thinking about it. Chin:  All this stress is exhausting me. I should be able to figure it out. Collarbone:  I should be able to handle all this stress. What’ s wrong with
me? Under arm:  Too much stress , I can’t handle it all. What if all this stress
makes me sick? I’ve got too much stress and can’ t handle it all. Help! See how a person can let their fears run awayinto a horrible future scenario? Time to put a stop to negative musings. Step 3. You already know that to get to the bottom of the stress and have
long-lasting relief, you need to uncover the specifics holding up your stress. But here we’ll try another tapping sequence, a variation on Gold Standard
EFT, starting at the top-of-the-he ad point. This is a more global approach to
stress. You’ll notice that the words vary, but the concept of stressed out is
the same. See what comes up for you as you follow along. Here’ s the
second tapping sequence, two rounds:
Top of head: I’m so stressed out. I wish I knew how to manage my life
better . Inside eyebrow: Other people manage stress so maybe I can, too. Side of eye: But I don’t know how—yet. There’ s too much going on all the
time! I haven’ t learned how to ease up when I feel like this. Under eye: The stress doesn’ t really work  for me. I feel tight all over. That’ s making it worse!Under nose:  I wonde r how I can relax and be peaceful, even with all the
stressful demands on me. When I’m calm, things go smoother , stress goes
away , I’m more ener gized. Chin: Is it even possible to be calm with all this crazy stress in my life? Collarbone: Probably . It’s not a saber -toothed tiger is not chasing me; I just
have some stress, is all. Under arm: I wonder how it would feel to relax, even with everything I
have to do and all my to-do lists. Wow. What a great idea. I could breathe
fully and deeper , relax my body . I might even think more clearly . Maybe
everything wouldn’ t be an emer gency anymore. Top of head:  What if I could relax and be peaceful instead of anticipating
all the stress? That would be a relief ! Inside eyebrow:  What if stress was actually an invitation to calm down, get
centered, and ground? Side of eye: No more  freaking out about the day and the demands on my
life. W onder if that would make a dif ference. Under eye: It feels so good to be calm and centered, no matter what’ s going
on around me. I am grounded, calm, and peaceful. Under nose:  I breathe more fully, feel more connected, good. Not get all
stuck in my head. Chin:  My body relaxes. I am more connected to myself, to others, and to
life. I see my possibilities and experience well-being. Collarbone:  Everything flows more smoothly from here. Under arm:  Tension flows like a gentle stream right out of me. I love that
idea. I love feeling peaceful, relaxed, and grounded. Step 4. Now , check back in on your stress level. Has it changed? Any
insights? If you are still above 3 on the 0 to 10 scale, tune in to one very
specific stressor and tap on all aspects relating to that one stressor in your
life. Even if your “stress” is now just a few points lower , you have made
headway!But what if your intensity remains really high? When Y ou Can’ t Tap It Down
What do you do when you are unable to resolve the stress or any other issue
at its roots? In the exercise above, we worked globally on stress to ideally
take the edge off, but if you get caught in a situation where the intensity is
high, you don’t know how to go further . You feel lost or like there isn’t
time. You can box up your issue , and I’ll show you how right now. You can
also seek professional support that can help you navigate toward calmer
waters. Exercise: Box Up Y our Stress (or Upset) for Now
We don’t always have the time to resolve our problems down to zero. Sometimes they refuse to budge. Rather than walk around feeling like a
basket case, you can box up the stress or upset and set it aside so you can
get back to your life for now . Here’ s something that I offer my clients: spread your arms wide and
scoop the stress or the upset from  all around your body into a little ball. Got
it? Now , choose a receptacle to store this issue in just for now so you can
continue with your life. Would you like to box it up as a present? A treasure
chest or jewelry box? Store it in the compost heap or in your back pocket? Tap down the points
Top of head:  I’m closing all the doors and windows I opened—for now . Inside eyebrow:  It’s time to set this issue aside for now, in a safe place for
me and the stress. Side of eye: I’m storing you right here in this treasure chest (or name your
storage space). Under nose:  I know just where you are. And I don’t have to do a thing right
now. Chin:  You can do your work on my behalf while I go about my day .Collarbone:  Releasing all thoughts, images, upsets, and body feelings
related to the stress into this box. Under arm:  Setting this box aside for now. Closing all doors and windows
on this work. Letting it all go. I am safe. I am loved. I am healing. I don’t
have to do anyth ing. I can just relax, and breathe. I choose to let go and
store all of this upset in this box There’ s plenty of room and plenty of
time. Letting it all go for now. I can always call this back when I have the
time, energy, and will. For now, it will do its work on my behalf, and I
don’t need to do a thing. Now breathe in, allowing your out-breath to extend at least twice as long
as your in-breath. This long breathing on the exhale signals to the body that
it’s time to relax. Another Str ess Buster
Try Dr. Andrew Weil’s 4-7-8 quick breathing exercise that helps the body
slip from the sympathetic nervous system (fight-flight) to the
parasympathetic (eat-sleep-breathe). Inhale through your nose to the count
of four, hold your inhale gently to the count of seven, and then open your
mouth and take a long sigh out to the count of eight. Repeat four times, and
you’ll relax.13
How Stress Af fects the Body ,  
Working with the Body to Relieve Stress
When you are upset, angry , or scared, your body corresponding ly creates a
biochemical response that reflects the emotion you are experiencing. How
does the stress response look and feel? The body contracts, breathing is
shallow , digestion gets tight, and the hormone cortisol is released. Muscles
get tight, jaws clench, joints stif fen, and we don’ t feel good. You may not feel the effect of stress on your body at first, but as you
begin to pay attention to the sensations in your body under stress, your body
will show you where it holds it. The most common storage space seems tobe the back.14 Other common places people report stress being held are
where they’ve had injuries such as from a car accident, sprain, or strain; in
the gut; or in tight shoulders or neck. When you are feeling an unpleasant sensory (or body) experience, ask
yourself, “What’ s happening right now? Am I aware of something that is
upsetting me emotionally? What just happened right before I started feeling
blah in my body?”
Tapping on your body sensations alone is often enough to relieve stress. Your body’ s sensory information is your cue to take a moment to tap, slow
down, and breathe. Mindfully breathing brings awareness to your whole
body . Start noticing and your body will reveal its secrets. Your body is
designed to be in healthy , wholesome partnership with you. When stress is present, we’re in a state of contraction—unlikely to step
outside of our comfort zone, think clearly through a conflict, avoid the late-
night carb binge , or make head way on other goals. We’re more likely to
blame, shame, feel sorry for ourselves, and ask ourselves one of those
never -ending, non-helpful questions such as “Why me? !” We’re not in the
neocortex, the part of our brain that allows for creative and abstract thinking
and resourceful problem-solvin g. We’re in the part of the brain that feels
like the end of the world is near . When we feel loving, secure, grounded, or happy , our corre sponding
biochemical make us feel expansive, healthy , light, and good. We feel like
doing the things we love. Life flows effortlessly . During these times, we
easily achieve our goals. Truly, our bodies can’t help but reflect our
thoughts and emotions; they’re designed to do so! Which state of mind do
you prefer—reactive or responsive? With EFT, we shift the way we respond to stressful situations in our lives. When we stay grounded and centered in the face of stress, the stress
hormones in our body are not activated: Adrenalin (which zaps our vitality
if switched on for long periods of time) and cortisol (whic h provokes
inflammatory responses and weight gain) don’t kick in. When our
biochemicals aren’ t focused on mitigating stress, our immune systemsfunction more effectively . We lead happier , more peaceful, joyful, and
resilient lives. A recent study by tapping leader Dawson Church, Ph.D., and his
colleagues seem s to indicate that tapping works to ease stress . The study
included a random sample of eighty-three people who either received one
hour of EFT tapping, one hour of traditional talk therapy , or no treatment at
all. The EFT tapping subjects’ stress hormone levels dropped an average of
24 percent to 50 percent after just that one hour. They reported a
corresponding drop in anxiety , stress, and other emotional symptoms. The
other groups experienced no similar change.15
What if you used the knowledge about tapping and stress regularly? What
if each time you started to feel stress coming on, you stopped and tapped
first just like you did at the beginning of this chapter instead of going into
combat mode? Imagine that when you got to work, you found a demanding
email from a company director and you were able to immediatel y tap on the
upset so that you could respond from your center and from peace? What if
one by one, bit by bit, you could neutralize the emotional triggers that stress
you out? How would your life feel then? Exercise: Determining When Y ou Get Stressed Out
Step 1. In your EFT journal, create a section called “Stress Release.” Ask
yourself, when do you get stressed out? What are the stress areas in your
life? W rite down your answers. For exampl e: I get stressed out when I have
four or more different types of tasks to do in one day on my mind and am
unclear about priorities. Thinking about the contractors. Family gatherings. Family obligations. When the kids’ carpool driver is late. Drivin g in traffic. When people don’t listen to me. When I look in the mirror . At the gym,
when I think other people’ s bodies look so much better than mine. Paying
the bills. When I get unexpected bill increases. W atching the news. Step 2. How could you turn your stressful moments into tapping
transformation opportunities? When the stress starts coming on, what if youcould catch yourself before beco ming overwhelmed? All you need to do is
stop and rate how stressful the day feels right now. Note where you feel the
stressful day in your body . If you’re not sure, guess at a place where you
might be holding the stress. Step 3. Create an EFT setup statement  for a tapping round that relates to
one of the stresses you listed. Give this stressor a nickname: “the blob,”
“too much work,” “out of control,” “crazy kids,” or “annoying husband.”
Where do you feel this stressor in your body? Create a tapping phrase that incorporates your sensory feelings as well. For exam ple, when Ken thought of stress as he performed this exercise, he
thought of the pain on the left side of his neck that comes and goes. When
he asked  himself what brings this pain on, the first thought that came to
mind was: “when my girlfriend  gives the kids drinks with red dye in them
that she knows are bad for them and that makes them hyperactive.”
As he tuned into a specific event when this happened, he felt the stress
rising and the pain in his neck substantially intensified— this was his
tapping target. After two rounds, his anger released, and his neck pain
vanished. Now it’s your turn. Got a tappin g target? What’ s your intensity rating on
the 0 to 10 scale? Create an EFT statement and perform the EFT basic
recipe. Remember to tap on all aspects that are bothering you one at a time
until you feel the stress level subside. Here are examples:
Karate chop:  Even though there’ s too much to do and I feel this
tightness in my shoulders, I accept myself and how I feel. Karate chop:  Even though I am already so stressed out and tight all
over and it’s only 7 am, I’m okay . I deeply and completely accept
myself. Each of these would be a separate tapping round. Eventually , you may be
able to identify quite a few specific stressors. Just note their intensity , createtapping setups relating to what your day-to-day stressors are, and set them
aside until you have the time and energy to tap on them. Tapping isn’t
meant to create added stress in your life, but to ease it up. Do you see how
tapping on statements like the ones above can loosen the stranglehold stress
can have on you? Step 4. When you tap on stress for just five minutes, your whole outlook
can change, which in turn can change your life. As you continue to deepen your practice, you will be able to uncover the
specific events that are the table legs holding up your stress with the goal of
collapsing the entire reactive stress tabletop in your life. Where Stress Patterns Originate
Most stress response patterns are laid down at a very young age. They are
unconsciously modeled by our family , not calculatedly splashed across the
front pages of the newspaper . From newborn to age seven, we are
essentially sponges, absorbing ways of being and patterns of behavior from
the central figures in our early lives. So our stress reactions imprint at this
time—or even earlier—as we mirror theirs.16
Studies show that a developing baby in the womb absorbs what Mom is
going through, too. A study of expectant New York City moms who
suffered PTSD from the 9/11 tragedy and whose babies were born shortly
thereafter showed that their babies exhibited a higher stress distress
response than other babies.17 Other epigenet ic studies have revealed that
seriously stressf ul events are passed down to the next gene ration. For
example, those whose ancestors lived through a famine may have inherited
body traits that hold onto food, which results in a propensity for obesity or
unreasonable attitudes about food; those whose ancestors lived through a
Holocaust or massacre may have a lower stress tolerance level.18
However , not everything deriv es from our nature. Nurture is also a
component in our lives. As we grow aware of our in-built patterns of
distress, we can apply tapping, mindfulness, massage, and other approachesto process them, transform them, and experience relief. Let’s take a look at
working with pattern origins. Exercise: Exploring Origins of Stress
Questions to ask about inherited and default patterns of stress:
Step 1. Write “Stress Release” as a new headin g in your EFT journal. Answer the following questions. When did the central figures in your early
life get stressed? Name some specific times when they or you were stressed. How do you know they were stressed? What happened when  they were
stressed? How did they handle stress? What did you do when you saw they
were stressed? Were certain times of the day, night, or year more stressful
than others? What stressful incidents and stories do you remember growing
up? What stories did you tell yourself as a result of the stress? Where do
you find yourself acting in the same way as your mom or dad without being
able to help it? What stress stories were common in your family? Step 2. Look at your list of early-life stress-stories. The preceding
questions have doubtlessly led you to many specific events. Give each one a
name and rate its intensity . You may tap on them one at a time, using the
techniques that you have learn ed so far, like Tell the Story and Tearless
Trauma. When you tap on each of these stories, you might be surprised at
the flood of emotion that comes up for release. Ancestral Str ess
Consider tapping on what I call “ancestral stress.” In my case, I might tap
on anything that comes to mind about my ancestry , uncenso red. In this,
don’t worry about political correctness, but address any raw, archetypal,
fairy-tale-type fears that come to mind. I’ve personally tapped on thoughts
and fears like the following that have come to my mind:
Even though we’ve been chased out of many a place … . Even though it’ s not been safe to settle down for any length of time … .Even though I don’ t feel safe here … . Even though I have a history laden with fighting and jealous ancestors
… . Even though the Holocaust happened and I get upset each time I think
about it … . Even though we’ve been playing out this issue for centuries … . Stress Patterns That Show Up  
as W e Grow Older
When we are in our teens and twenties, we have more “give” in our bodies
—more health, vitality , and flexibility to survive in the face of stressful
experiences. However , as long as we have unresolved stressful experiences
from childhood, we are still experiencing unconscious default stress
patterns. That would be just fine, except that we don’ t stay young forever . Our unconscious stress response patterns build up as we age. At some
point, the bucket gets full and then the stress can affect our emot ional health
and our physical  health. You’ve surely heard things such as: “After the (bad
event), my anxiety got really bad.” Or, “After Mom died, I started having
the pain and went on disability .” In most cases, the problem didn’ t start just
then; it had probably been building for years. It’ s probably been a pattern all
of our lives, only now we have the opportunity to deal with things
differently . When a big event comes along , the bucket spills over immedi ately and
the secret is revealed: your stress response is so big that your body can no
longer keep a lid on it. Your body is just doing what it has always done,
however—listening to your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs about something
and then reacting with a biolog ical stress response. That’ s how seemingly
“just one” stressful event can lead to significant trauma. You begin to ask yourself when the first time you felt stress like this was. When’ s the first time you had a feeling in your body that feels like this? What does today ’s feeling remind you of from earlier years? Use your bodyas a guide, pay attention to the sensations that arise, and tap on them. These
often lead a person to a specif ic early childhood event where the stress
reaction pattern originated or the cause of the current-day problem. Traumatic Str ess with a Capital T
Sometimes, just one big traum a has set a stress pattern in motion. Jan
Luther , EFT founding master , talks about this pivotal time as the moment
everything changed—when a person is seriously injured in a crash, an
assault, when a loved one is murdered, and so on.19 When you are working
through trauma tic stress, it can be especially helpful to work with an
experienced EFT practitioner . Belief Systems and Str ess
Until my body’ s breakdown forced me to get off that hamster ’s wheel,
nothing was going to change. Looking back, I can now see that enforced
rest was the best thing that could have happened. The body never lies. I
began listening to my body and partnering with it. I realized that restoring it
was the most productive, loving  thing I could do—for me and my family . It
was a giant step, understanding that the first loyalty I had was to take care
of myse lf. I am a single mama  and the hub of the wheel; more than one
person depends on me being healthy . As soon  as I slowed down enough to actually feel what was going on in
my body and include my body in the process, I became peacefu l rather than
terrified. I didn’ t deny my feelin gs—I leaned into them and embraced them. I tapped on them  along with my judgments and my inner voices. I said no a
lot more, including to myself, and set boundaries around my time. Finally , I
understood my belief until then was that answers to my problems were
outside of me. It turned  out that I had the answers all along, right in my
body . When that top layer of worry , fear, and negative talk was lifted and those
big belief freighters began to turn around, it became clear that the more rest
I got, the less upset I became, the better I felt, and the better I was to my son
and those around me. My stresses didn’ t change, I did. My relationship tostressful situations transformed with me. Work got easier , faster, more
effective, more efficient, and more creative. I was exercising a different
muscle than the default stress response; I was strengthening the muscle of
trust, compassion, and love for myself, somehow all thanks to a total stress
response body burnout. So in fact, stress is a really useful tool, and the
sooner you listen to it the less dif ficult the wake-up call will be. We don’t need to fall apart, get dramatic, or get sick when things get
difficult. Truly, tapping offers a way for us to schedule our temper tantrums
and nervous breakdowns! Tapping can help us determine what is really true,
what is really necessary , and what thoughts, behaviors, and beliefs are
actually driving  more stress our way. Then we can make better decisions,
moving toward a healthier and more ef fective stress responses. “I Can’ t Take a Br eak” Str ess
Stressed-out people believe they can’t take a break or things will fall apart,
even as they know they are living impossible lives. When you feel like it’s
impossible to stop, that’s the most appropriate time to slow down and rest. Belief systems that harm us seem real, but they are not true. For example,
does your family have a belief system that it’s not okay to nap or take time
off or just do something for fun? Y ou might want to work on that one. Exercise: “I Have T oo Much to Do” Belief System
If you believe you have too much to do and can’t take a break (or you can’t
take the time to exercise even  though you love it), try this exercise to
transcend the limiting belief. This exercise is in two parts. Part 1: Decr easing the Intensity
Step 1. What happens when you consider doing something for yourself in
the midd le of your busy day? Something that will help calm you down,
possibly even experience a joy, whether that’s taking five minutes to simply
slow down and breathe or take a nap? Look at that statement again: “I have
too much to do and I can’ t take a break.”Step 2. How true does it feel that you have too much to do and can’t take
a break? Let’s say that 10 is absolutely true, while 0 is not true at all for
you. Step 3. Take a moment to experience the sensations in your body relating
to “I have too much  to do and can’t take a break.” Note in your EFT journal
wher e you are feeling any body awareness or sensations about this “too
much to do” belief. Step 4. For this exercise, you are going to tap on the most intense feeling
relating to having too much to do. Here’ s an example of a globa l EFT setup
statement you can customize. “ Even though I have too much to do and can’t
take a break (or whatever other phrase comes to mind), I deeply and
completely accept myself.”
Step 5. Tap the EFT sequence of points once or several times, starti ng
with the top of the head, customizing this reminder phrase: “Too much to
do, I can’ t take a break.” Tap until you experience a shift in intensity . Step 6. What came to mind as you tapped? Anything specific about your
too much to do belief? Jot down any specific events that came to mind
about your setup phrases  such as one person’ s response : “If I don’t get to
these things today , I’ll forget, and important things won’ t get done.” You’ll
use these phrases later to tap on your own and see what’ s underneath the
concerns. Say the statement again to test your progress:  “I have too much to
do. I can’t take a break.” Does it feel as true to you? Are you having as
many feelings about the “too much to do” belief ? Have the feelings
changed? When tapping on a belief like this, you might begin to experience the
belief as less true or insistent. Perhaps you now feel like it’s not necessarily
true all the time; you may realize there are times during your day that you
can—and do—take breaks, for example. Perhaps after a tapping round like
this you might suddenly feel the weight of “too much to do” in your bodyand feel very tired. Or maybe you are feeling sorry for yourself, angry at the
world, or resentful of others. Each of these feelings or thoughts is another
tapping round. T ap on whatever thoug hts come up. Before we move to the next step, what happened in your body as you
tapped? Are you still feeling the same body sensations as when  you said “I
have too much to do?”  Notice that it’ s common for your body to work along
with you, too. You may be experiencing a whole host of sensat ions as you
tap on “too much to do,” ranging from numbness to tightness in the chest, a
feeling of sheer exhaustion to nausea. Note every physical sensa tion in your
EFT journal, because it means your body is working with you, helping you
understand how stress af fects it. Can you see how many big feelings you are
sitting on that are playing a role in how you are experiencing stress and the
decisions you are making? Decreasing the intensity around the “truth” of
our beliefs loosens up the stress factor in your body , and that’ s a good start. Part 2: T oo Much to Do—Getting Mor e Specific
What feeling arises when you think about “I can’t take a break. I have too
much to do”? Go ahead and input whatever the feeling is into your setup
statement. Here’ s an example of what I mean: “Even though important
things won’ t get done if I take a break and I feel panic when thinking about
everything I have to do, I deeply and completely accept myself.” Or: “Even
though I have too much to do to take a break and that’s sad, I deeply and
completely accept myself.” We’ll use the example of “sad that I have too
much to do.”
Step 1. Rate the  sadness  or your own feeling about having too much to do
on the 0 to 10 scale. Step 2. Customize this example to target your own specific emotion
around “too much to do,” repea ting the statement one to three times while
karate chopping: “Even though I have too much to do, and that makes me
feel sad, I love, honor , and accept myself anyway .”Step 3. Tap the EFT sequence once or more using your reminder phrase:
“I’m feeling (your emotion) that I can’t take a break becau se I have too
much to do.”
Step 4. Recheck your intensity . If you are feeling relief, then ask yourself
again why you can’t take a break, and no doubt another aspect will appear . For example, maybe you can’t take a break because you don’t know how to
stop. T ap on that. If the intensity is the same or higher, it’s time to get more specific. Let’s
get more specific about times you felt sad because of too much to do. Write
your answers down. For example, “I had to miss my son’s birthday party ,”
“feeling like my spouse and I are strangers at our anniversa ry dinner ,”
“when I was running to catch the train and felt like I was going to collapse.”
You can select one part of any of the above situations and turn it into a
specific event of three minutes or less to tap on. For example , “I had to
miss my son’s birthday party ,” a couple  specific events might be: “The
sinking feeling in my stomach when I realized I wouldn’ t make it to the
party on time,” and “The close d, unhappy look on my son’s face when I
came home and they were cleaning up.”
File these important specifics under the Stress Relief section of your EFT
journal for tapping when you are ready and have the time and energy. You
can alwa ys take your work with you to an EFT practitioner , too. And as you
tap on these, they may likely lead you to the core causes of “can’ t take a
break, too much to do.”
While this next bit isn’t part of the exercise, it’s an alternative to
traditional EFT. You will see that I vary the EFT tapping setup statements. See if any of these ring true for you. If so, test your intensity and perform
an EFT round on one or more of them. Even though I have too much to do, and that makes me feel (angry , sad,
resentful, hopel ess, anxious, panicky , all tight, full of despair , or
exhausted) and a whole host of other feelings, I would like to
experience my life dif ferently .Even though I have an impossib le life with too much to do, but I can’t
stop because (list what’ s impo ssible, such as: too many people are
depending on me, important things won’ t get done...) and I’ve got big
unpleasant feelings inside of me about that, I deeply and completely
accept myself and forgive myself for anything that I may be doing to
contribute to my impossible life. Even though I’m exhausted and in despair about having too much to
do, I accept all of me and my situation, including the “too much  to do”
part. Here’ s an example of some alternative tapping sequences about “too
much to do”:
Top of head:  I have too much to do and a lot of feelings about that. Inside eyebrow:  I’m sad, exhausted, and feel anger and resentment. Side of eye:  My body feels tight and tired with all this stuf f to do. Under eye:  I am feeling really unhappy about having too much to do. Under nose:  It’s exhausting to have this much to do all the time. Chin:  I feel (sad, angry , depressed, guilty , unhappy , or full of despair), and
a lot of other big feelings about this impossible situation. Collarbone:  It’s been this way for a while now, and I’m in despair , because
I don’ t know if I’ll ever get the rest I need. Under arm:  It feels impossible, this too-much-to-do situation. When you tap, you begin to have enough of a cognitive and emotional
shift that you might realize there’ s another way to think about the to-do list. In addition, you might realize you have resources right at your fingertips—
but you need to get yourself out of fight-flight and the energy disruption
first. EFT Reframes and Stress
Reframes offer a different way of perceiving the problem, a different
perspective. When they land, it’s like rain soaking into dry earth, wateringall the seeds so they can come to life above ground. We often use reframes
but don’t consciously know what they are. You might want to take
inspiration from  the following reframe—another way to look at your stress. Please note, however , that according to many practitioners and official EFT,
reframes are not meant to be used unless and until you have cleared  enough
of the negative intensity from the tapping target. At that point, here’ s what a
reframe might look like:
Even though I believe I need to control things, what if I could relax and
let go? What if I don’ t have to figure everything out? Even though it feels like I can’t let go, I’m open to the possibil ity that
relaxing might open more doors for me. Even though I have to hold on tight to the reins because otherwise
everything will fall apart, what if it were possible to loosen my grip and
relax? Even though I have to solve all my problems all by myself, I’m open to
seeing this dif ferently today/getting help from unexpected quarters. When a reframe doesn’ t land, you will hear the resistance loud and clear . You might even get angry about it. Both are also opportunities to tap on the
issues the reframe brings up. Exercise: The “Should” Belief System (BS) and Stress
How does it feel when you hear yourself saying things like, “I should get
this done,” “I should have done that,” “I shouldn’ t be doing this?” Now
consider: “I choose  to get this done,” “I would rather have done that,” “I
would prefer to let go of/release/allow/open …” Which feels bett er? Are you “shoulding” all over yourself? What are your “shoulds” and
“should-nots”? List the “shoulds” and “should-nots” you carry along with
you in your journal. Use them as clues to uncover events driving your
stress. Let’s take an example of the person who as soon as he starts to relaxand enjoy himself, says: “I should be doing something  productive. I
shouldn’ t be enjoying myself. I have so much to do!” The next questions
would be: “What’ s fearful about enjoying myself?” The answer might be:
“In my family , being productive was valued.” “What’ s the downside about
relaxing?” Answer: “ It’s being lazy , which is bad.”
The man would get even more specific by asking:  “How do I know that
being productive was valued while relaxing was equated with being lazy?”
The answer likely uncovers a boatload of specific events to tap on here, and
this is how you chunk down global issues or tabletops (such as stress) into
bite-sized, specific events or table legs. As you know by now, tap on
enough of them and you collapse the entire unhealthy stress response, just
by looking at the word “should.”
Alon g with “should,” phrases and words like “have to,” “can’ t,” “never ,”
and “always” don’t give us much of a choice about our lives, do they? How
does it feel to say “I have to” versus “I choose to,” for example? Look at
where these words show up in your life and switch the word with a more
encouraging phrase, such as “choose,” “prefer ,” “often,” “ope n to trying,”
“will consider ,” etc. In Conclusion
As you aim EFT at the foundational table legs holding up your tabletop of
stress, you will find yourself better able to experience stress in a responsive,
balanced manner . In turn, this will ease the stress and open up new avenues
of thinking, being, and experie ncing your life. It may even head off a
depression, because you’ll begin to feel more hopeful about your life. In the next chapter , we explore tapping on physical aches and pains,
sudden injuries, and serious illness. [contents]13. Andrew W eil, M.D., “The 4-7-8 Breath: Health Benefits and Demonstration,” Accessed January
11, 2015, www .drweil.com/drw/u/VDR001 12/The-4-7-8-Breath-Benefits-and-Demonstration.html. 14. “Back Pain,” Accessed January 1 1, 2015, www .nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/backpain.html. 15. Dawson Church, PhD, “The Ef fect of EFT on Stress Biochemistry .”
16. Mercola.com, “EFT Helps Improve Y our Health By Freeing Y ourself from Stress,” Accessed
January 1 1, 2015, articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2013/04/25/eft-relieves-stress.aspx. 17. The Guardian, “Pregnant 9/1 1 Survivors T ransmitted T rauma to Their Children, September 9,
2011,” last modified September 09, 201 1,
www .theguardian.com/science/neurophilosophy/201 1/sep/09/pregnant-91 1-survivors-transmitted-
trauma. 18. Danielle Simmons, PhD, “Epigenetic Influences and Diseases,” Scitable by Nature Education,
accessed January 1 1, 2015, www .nature.com/scitable/topicpage/epigenetic-influences-and-disease-
895. 19. Jan Luther , Email Newsletter and podcast talks, www .janluther .com. OceanofPDF .comChapter 8
Tapping on the Physical—IIllness, Injury,
Pain & More
Here you’ll explore how to connect with your body no matter the state so
you can experien ce the connection as a resource for healing and well-being. We’ll look at the tapping for the Chase the Pain technique, applying tapping
in cases of sudden injury , pain, and serious illness, sick children, and to
boost immune system resilience. Like the chameleon that change s color according to the temper ature and
surface she lands on, so too do our bodies shift and change according to our
moods. Our bodies are more responsive than we can possibly imagine . How , really , does a wound heal, a backache go away , or a broken bone knit
itself back together? How often do you slow down enough to feel how your
leg actually takes just one step, or to truly follow all the adjustments your
body makes for you to reach your arm over your head? The way our bodies
work (indeed, just pondering the body itself) is deeply myste rious, even
unfathomably remarkable. Have you heard  of the Slow Food movement? It was started by Carlo
Petrini in 1986 as an effort to combat fast food, encouraging the use of local
and cuisine, fresh produce, and sustainable farming. There are also plain
slow (body) movements like the Feldenkrais Method, Body-Mind
Centering , the Anat Baniel Method , qi gong, and tai chi. When we slow
down enough to feel our bodies with acceptance, we can begin to heal. However , we often disregard the body’ s needs, or downright abuse it. And
yet our body is our partner in life, inevitably intertwined with who we are.If your body was in charge and you were the silent partner , would you
want it to treat you the way you treat it, feel, think, and talk about it? For
those of us who have experienced chronic pain, lived with a long-term
illness, or have otherwise been challenged by “life in a body ,” as a friend
puts it, we often  have some intensity thinking about our bodies. If you are
feeling some intensity as you read this right now, how about tapping on
those feelings? Exercise: Intensity about My Body: Global T apping
Step 1. Write “Tapping on the Physical” as your topic in your EFT journal. Ask yourself if there’ s somethin g about your body that you don’t like. Is it
about the way you look or about a certain part of your body that’s “giving
your trouble”? Is it about weight issues? Is it about illness or pain? Are you
feeling sad about how you treat your body? Are you
angry/resentful/disappointed at your body for letting you down? Are you
frustrated becau se you can’t seem to get your body to do what you want it
to do? Are you scared because you can’t get better right away? Are you
worried about anything that might happen in the future? If nothing comes
up to tap on, you can skip this exercise or tap surrogate for somebody else
who is sick or having difficulty with his or her body . Remembe r, surrogate
means that you tap “as if” you were someone else. Choose one issue from
the list you have created. This will be your tapping tar get. Step 2. On the 1 to 10 scale, rate your intensity . For an example, we will
start with a global phrase such as: “I am frustrated with my body because
it’s not doing what I want it to do.” Select your own tapping target based on
what you wrote in step 1. Or you can follow along with the example. Let’s
say that I’m at a 7 on the intensity scale regarding frustration with my body
because it won’ t do what I want it do to. Step 3. Start the EFT setup part of the basic recipe. Karate chop while
tuned into the intensity: “Even though I am frustrated with my bodybecause it’s not doing what I want it to do, (or insert your own setup
phrase), I deeply and completely love, honor , forgive, and accept myself.”
Alternative positive af firmations I have used in the past include:
Even though I’m frustrated with my body because it won’ t do what I
want it to do, I would like to feel okay about it. Even though I’m frustrated with my body because it won’ t do what I
want it to do, I wonder if there will ever come a day when I can think of
my body and its situation with neutrality . You would use these affirmations if they feel right or true to you. Otherwise, just use the basic affirmation: “deeply and completely accept
myself.”
Step 4. Perform the EFT sequence using the same reminder phrase
throughout, starting with the top of the head through under the arm. Here’ s
our example: “ frustrated with my body because  it won’ t do what I want it to
do.” You might tap through several sequences as you hold the feeling in
mind until you sense a shift in intensity . Step 5. What is the intensity surrounding your tapping target now? If it
has gone down  to zero, has something else come to mind that is more
specific about your tapping target? For example, with “frustrated with my
body ,” maybe the person, Chris, is frustrated because his knees have been
bothering him for about six months now and they haven’ t gotten any better . The problem with his body is preventing him from playing basketball,
running, and biking, the main ways he used to socialize, relax, and exercise. He can choose to tackle the next aspect, such as “no matter what I do, they
don’t get better ,” or “I really miss being active,” and so on. A key question for physical ailments is: What was going on in your life
just before or after the issue you’re experiencing now? When Chris asks
that question, he remembers it’s about the time his “difficult” and elderly
father who lives across the country got very sick. Chris was conflicted
about staying with him and takin g time off work to care for and love him orsteering clear and doing what he’s done most of his adult life—staying
away and feeling guilty . He aims EFT at “the conflict,” a few specific and
troubling events  during the time, and how he wanted it to be different but
couldn’ t change  how he felt about his dad. As he taps on these issues and
some key early “Dad-bad” memories, his knees lighten up, he begins
exercising again, and his feelings about his father completely transform to
love and for giveness. What’ s underneath your intensity about your body issue? Ask yourself
questions again: What is your body “preventing” you from doing? When is
the first time you felt this way about your body? What have you tried that
didn’ t work? What was happe ning in your life around the time things
changed or you became aware of the unhappiness with your body? Any of
these questions will likely elicit some specific events relating to your
emotion surrounding your body . And remmeber , just tracking symptoms
also brings relief. Step 6. Did a specific event come to mind? By answ ering the previous
questions, you likely have a few specific events in mind relating to
“frustrated with my body ,” or whatever tapping phrase you chose to work
on, so choose one. Is the event under two or three minutes in length? Give it
a title as if it were a scene in a movie, then tap on the event using Gold
Standard EFT, tapping all aspects down to zero until that one event no
longer bothers you. Now , drop your awareness into your body and ask
yourself how your body feels right now . As we continue, you can choose  to tap and read, by continuously tapping
on one or more of the tapping points or tapping on the finger points (see the
figure in Appendix A  to locate them if you’re not sure.) The Body and Love
We take our physicality for granted and don’t typically consid er what an
exquisite instrument our body really is. We conveniently manage to forget
that we need our body to live. For many of us, it’s only when we suffer a
problem with our body such as a scratchy throat, serious illness, acuteinjury , or chronic pain, or when difficult emotions or stress tighten our
muscles, that we begin to pay more attention, and that attention is mostly
negative . We want to get better right now! We get mad at our bodies:
“Hurry up and heal already!” “My body has let me down.” We talk about
our bad leg, problem shoulder , or how we must get rid of the pain right
away . Is it any wonder that addiction to painkillers is on the rise? Emotional
pain is also something we tend to avoid. One in ten Americans now take an
antidepressant, and one in four women in their forties and fifties are on
antidepressants.20
But what if some types of emotional and physical pain are stemming
from the same energy disruption—remember the zzzt! that happens when
we experience an event as traumatic that leads to negative emotions? Big
feelings are beneath our conscious mind but alive and well in our
subconscious, the larger part of the mind. And those big feelings take a toll
on our bodies. What if, for example, the pain is emotional that has been
stored in the body and is now physically manifesting as well? What if we
asked ourselves, regarding a sore throat, for example, questions like these:
“What is it that I can’t seem to express that hurts my throat,” or “What is
that lump in my throat saying, ” or “What are these emotions  that are so
painful in my throat?”
When we deman d healing and dislike our bodies, it’s like erecti ng a dam
in the exact place where you want healing to flow like water . We are
slowing down the healing proce ss and blocking our path back to health and
well-being.
_OceanofPDF.com_Tapping_Into_Wellness_-_Kathilyn_Solomon.txt
Summarize the following text section accurately and concisely. Maintain specific details and numerical information, and use anti-repetition mechanisms:

        Even though I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to make the changes I want
in my life, I deeply and completely accept myself anyway. Tapping softens up the hard feelings around sabotage. You can tap EFT
rounds on all the various feelings you find. Ask yourself how you would treat your best friend if they had done what
you did again. Would you condemn your friend for having a problem or
support and embrace them in their need. Model the same compassionate
behavior toward yourself. When you have to get rid of the problem behavior right now, this is your
panic button talking, and nothing else is going to happen while that panic
button is on, including resolving  the roots of your self-sabotage. Once you
begin to realize how sabotage is affecting you, it can be deeply troubling to
your conscious mind and ego. Rather than fixing it right away, acknowledge
that you’re working on it and accept your situation—you’re understanding
more about your life and your self, right. Once acknowledged, your panic
button can switch of f. Here are some phrases to consider:
Even though I want this (name your sabotage) gone right away, and I
can’t believe I haven’ t resolved  it yet, I love myself, and I’m trying to
be grateful for the opportunity to gain a deeper understanding of myself
and who I am. Even though I need to get rid of this right now, I want to include all of
me in this process, even this part of me that I can’ t stand. If You’ve Got Shame, Blame, and Guilt in the W ay, Work with It. Use what you’ve got—it’ s great material for change. Shame, blame, and
guilt are the glue holding many unhelpful behaviors in place. When you
mess up, do you believe that you deserve everything you get, or that
somehow you earned it. When you fall into these common booby traps ofshame, blame, and/or guilt, it’s hard to get to the root origins—the
emotional drivers and ener gy disturbances—that compel the sabotage. Did a central figure in your growing up years regularly tell you “You
ought to be ashamed of yourself. ” But seeing that through an adult’ s eyes,
does it make sense for a 5 or 6 year old to be ashamed of being curious, or
for wanting to eat all the cake. Our culture is laden with shame,  blame, and
guilt. Many of our ancestors also suffered and were kept in line using those
same negative ideas. Luckily we can begin to change all that with EFT. Here are some simple starters for working with these three troublesome
ideas:
Even though I’m ashamed/guilty/humiliated at what just happened,
what if I’m still a good person. Even though I’m so guilty for making that mistake again, what if I
could offer some compassion instead, since beating myself up has
never worked. Even though I feel really ashamed of myself for messing up again,
would I be so hard on my frien d or partner if they had “fallen off the
wagon” again. Even though I’m hearing Mom/Dad/the teacher ’s voice saying “You
ought to be ashamed of yourself” or “Shame on you,” I choose to be
proud and love that younger me. Even though I messed up again, I am still a good person, worthy of
love, respect, care, and compassion. General as they are, these phrases are starting points for you. Make Y our Self-T alk W ork for Y ou
Tune into a specific area of your life that you are currently sabotaging. Listen for those negative though ts, the inner critic, the constant  self-talk in
the back ground. They are there; we have up to 60,000 thoughts a day and a
majority of these can be negative. Here’ s some examples to get you started:I can’t do that. It will never work. Who do I think I am. Why would they
pick me. I’m not good enough. What if they see me and know the truth. Use these negative self-talk phrases to create your tapping setup statements. Write the crazy things that you think and tell yourself, take a look at the list
—it might be enough to bring back sanity. Tap on them. Pretend  you are an
anthropologist from some planet far away in the galaxy, studying the
foreign culture of You. Get really curious. Focus on What’ s Right
Focusing on what’ s wrong, not what’ s right, isn’t just a family issue, it’s a
cultural issue, and probably a biological one, as well. We were made to
survive, with a 24/7 survival radar looking for dangerous situations—in
other words, what’ s wrong. Com pensate by noting what’ s right. It takes half
a second to notice and memorize what’ s wrong, compared with twelve
seconds to absorb something good or positive. So savor the positives, even
if it’s as simple as a kind word a stranger said, a beautiful photograph, you
name it. You’ll find that focusin g on what’ s “right” is a lot easier on you,
while beating yourself up merely locks the problem in more completely. Consider creating a gratitude journal, and take your time to write what you
appreciate and are grateful for every day in your life. Remember to be
positive in simple ways, such as letting someone else go first in line,
smiling, expressing gratitude every time something feels good during your
day, and expressing thankfulnes s for opportunities to heal and learn when
things don’t go so well in your day. And don’t forget to tap—yo u build your
good, appreciation, gratitude, and happy muscle by exercising it many times
a day. Who Else in My Family Does This. You might ask: Who else did I see beating themselves up. About what. Do
you believe you have inherited this issue so you can’t possibly change. Start tapping on a belief that may feel real but isn’t true. Try tapping on any
early childhood events where you witnessed a loved one feeling  hopeless or
being too hard on him or herself. Explor e Your Beliefs Relating to Y our Own Self-Sabotage
It’s common for people to belie ve it’s impossible to change old, ingrained
habits and patter ns. But what if that itself is simply a belief and not what’ s
true. Could it be that you learned to be a certain way, to be accepted as part
of the family system. Is there a time you can remember that you weren’ t
“this way”—scattered, overweight, or unable to ask questions or stand up
for yourself. What’ s underneath the “it’ s just the way I am,” for you. Childhood Origins of Sabotage
Children under the age of seven typically view their parents as all-powerful,
and if anything is wrong, they quickly take on the blame rather than looking
at their parents with a critical eye. To survive, children quickly learn
survival skills within their family in order to get what they need—love,
acceptance, and approval. Child ren quickly absorb belief systems and ways
of behaving that may cover up the core of their being in attempts to get
what they need. But those unexpressed hidden feelings don’t go away until
they’re finally acknowledged. 12
With EFT, we begin to tap on these old beliefs, and you have  far more
control over your emotions and thoughts than you think. Get Curious About Y our Beliefs; T ap on Whatever Resonates
What proof do you have that things have to be the way they are. Is it true
for other people or just you. Is it logically true or does it feel like an
emotional truth. It’ s time for a belief reboot of your system. Here are some sample phrases about change fears:
Even though I don’t believe it’s possible to change, I believe I can
accept myself and how I feel. Even though I believed I had to be perfect for things to be okay …. Even though I believed I wouldn’ t be loved if I didn’ t do what she
wanted …. Even though a part of me believ es that I can’t do it, and will never be
successful …. Even though it’s not okay to ask questions, because she might get upset
…. Even though I don’t rock the boat because all hell would break loose
and then it would all be my fault …. Even though nothing I did was ever good enough …. Even though I shouldn’ t want what I want and don’t deserve to have it
anyway, …. Imagine Life Dif ferently
You have far more control over your emotions and thoughts than you may
believe. Ask yourself what would happen if you did make a change, and
begin to look at your fears framed th at way. What happened when you made
a change before. What’ s in the way of you making this change. What’ s the
upside of staying  the same way. What’ s the downside of makin g a change. What does this resistance remin d you of. What’ s the earliest time you felt
this type of resistance to chang e. Where in your life do you sabotage the
most. Your answers can be easily turned into tapping targets. Where in your life
do you sabotage. Take out your EFT journal, and list the areas of your life
where you sabotage most often. What is it that brings on the sabotage. Review the last time you sabotaged and ask yourself what was happening
just before it happened. Tapping into these feelings and subconscious rules will reveal a
progression of thoughts and lead to options for change, which can feel
scary. Change often doesn’ t feel safe, but patiently tapping will soothe
negative feeling s and reveal surprising insights. Often hesitance is not about
the issue we initially assumed but about areas we’ve neglected and feelings
we’ve repressed for years. You can tell you’ve got black-and-white thinking about an issue in your
life when you ask yourself: What will happen if I do change. Take that
answer and ask yourself the same question again: What will happen then. And keep on asking the same question about what will happen. You will
find that after about three or four “what will happens,” the answer will
likely be something like “I’ll die and be all alone,” or “I’ll be isolated and
revealed for the fraud I am,” or “I’ll never go out again,” or something
extremely melodramatic. Take note—you’re not working with a logical
mind here but the need to process emotions. Conflict: People who Simultaneously W ant  
and Don’t W ant to Get Better
Sometimes there  are very good practical reasons for keeping a situation just
as it is, although we’re not consciously aware of them. “Secondary gain” is
the fancy term for the unconscio us desire to stay just as we are. Simply put,
there is some benefit you’re not yet aware of, that makes it seem safer to
keep the problem. Consciously thinking we want one thing while
unconsciously not feeling safe to have what we want keeps us stuck. EFT
helps uncover what is underneath this stubborn resistance. If you had to
guess  at a reason you’re finding resistance, what would it be. What are the
upsides and the downsides of making the change you say you want. Self-Sabotage Q & A Review
1. Which area of your life do you most often sabotage. Choose one specific
area of sabotage at a time and work through these questions. Your
answers will uncover a boatload  of tapping targets. What’ s your earliest
memory of feeling this way. Does this feeling remind you of anything. 2. When does the self-sabotage happen. Y our answer will give you tar gets. 3. What are the feelings associated with the sabotage. 4. What kind of self-talk do you have doing this. 5. What specifically triggers your self-sabotage. 6. What else was happening in your life at the time of the sabotage. 7. What could your sabotage behavior be protecting you from. 8. What’ s the upside of allowing this sabotage behavior to continue. What’ s the downside of changing it. 9. How would your life be differen t if you eliminated self-sabotage in this
area of your life. 10. Imagine life free of the sabotage. Answers to these questions provide you with specific tapping targets
relating to your sabotage area. Remember to stay focused on one target,
event, or aspect at a time. This will help you clear intensi ty from specific
events or table legs holding up the sabotage tabletop in a comprehensive,
efficient, ef fective manner. Rate your intensity before tapping, then recheck
it after each tapping round, uncovering any hanging aspects. See the
progress you are making before moving on. If you still have questions about
getting specific, review Chapter 3 for guidance. And of course if you
believe tackling  this on your own might be a bit much, get the professional
support you need from a trustworthy EFT practitioner. Exercise: Imagine Better
Try offering your sabotage behavior a little vacation. Send it to the most
special, loving, wondrous place you can imagine, and let it know it can
come back after a little while. Allow yourself to experience how would it
feel if the self-sabotage behav ior was really gone. What would happen
specifically if your projects were in on time, you had the job of your
dreams, the relationship that fostered intimacy, the body confidence no
matter what your weight, the money for the new business, the recognition
for your work, or whatever it is you need. How would it feel waking up
without the sabotage behavior. What would a morning look like. How
would it feel in your body. What things would change in your life. What
would be different about how you felt about yourself. How would your life
change. Imagine what your day would look like. Use all senses, including
sight, sound, taste, touch, and don’ t forget smell. Releasing resistance. Note any resist ance to these musings in your EFT
journal, as you imagine living free of the sabotage behavior; note all the
“yes-buts” that come to mind. You can then tap on these one at a time as
you are able. Repeat this exercise regularly. Envisioning life without the sabotage will
help you dissolve the sabotaging behavior, reinforcing the possibility of
change. In Conclusion
We have explored the many facets of self-sabotage as well as how to
uncover your sabotage areas and zap them with EFT. As you dismantle the
underpinnings of your sabotage, you will see real possibilities for changing
your choices and patterns. With a bit of patience, honesty, persistence, and
the courage that resides within you, your self-sabotage will resolve, and
you’ll see its ef fect in areas of your life you can’ t even yet imagine. In the next chapter we will explore stress. It’s part of life, right. But do
we have to suf fer. Perhaps we can put stress to use for our benefit. [contents]12. Josh Korda and Geor ge Haas, “On the Roots of the False Self and a Return to Authenticity,”
Podcast on Dharmapunxnyc. com, last modified August 13, 2014,
www. dharmapunxnyc. com/blog/2014/8/13/2fdz0k3fs5y5vuv5bjfa6xzp97h6iq. OceanofPDF. comChapter 7
Tapping for Relief from Stress  
and Being Overwhelmed
Is your stress dial stuck on high. In this chapter you’ll lower the stress
dimmer switch or shut the stress alert off entirely until you truly need it. If
you’re feeling stressed even reading about stress, how about tapping. You
can choo se one point or continuously tap on the tap-down points (top of the
head through under the arm), the Tarzan point, or continuously on the finger
points as you read through this chapter. It’s not that we want stress to disappear from the face of the planet; the
paradox of stress is that it is a necessary part of the fabric of our lives. It has
helped us adapt and evolve as a species. We were shivering cold back in the
day; inspired by stress we then created fire. Stress tells us we’re in danger
and has saved many a prehisto ric ancestor ’s neck. Nowaday s, when we
respond to stress instead of react and freak out, its presence can motivate  us
to inven t ways to make our lives work better. Stress can help us be flexible
and adaptive in our responses. “Respond” here means to be flexible and
responsive. It’s like having joints that allow us to bounce and pivot easily. “React,” by contrast, means frozen in place, more prone to injury. Stress is a given, so it’s how we handle stressful situations that makes a
difference. When stress gets to us, the same situation we handled easily
yesterday can feel overwhelming today. When we are consisten tly reacting
to stress ful situations instead of responsive to them, we lose perspective and
the stress button  gets stuck in the On position. A constant state of stress can
become a normal way of life for many who are living twenty-first-century
lifestyles, but our bodies don’ t like it. Scientists have confirmed the link between stress and illness; 85 percent
of all disease is linked to an emotional stress component. Stress drives
anxiety, compulsions, adrenal burnout, and even weight gain. Our bodies
take so much before they say, “Okay. Enough. ” Let’s dissipate the
disruptions in our energy system caused by stress before they turn into
physical ailments. Are you tapping yet. Exercise: Global Stress Release
Does reading about stress … stress you out. Tap on that before you read on. “Even though reading about stress stresses me out, I deeply and completely
accept myself. ” We’re going to aim EFT at releasing global stressors in our
lives. This particular exercise is an alternative to the traditional EFT model. See what you think. Stress Relief, Part 1
Step 1. How stressed are you or how stressful is your life right now on the 0
to 10 scale. Write your number  down in your EFT journal. Even if you are
not feeling any stress right now, borrow someone else’s stress and help
them out by tapping anyway. Or pick something specific that does stress
you out and rate its intensity. Step 2. Karate chop continuously while expressing an EFT setup
statement one or more times that portrays how stressful stress is to you. Here’ s an example for you to customize:
“Even though I’m stressed out (or “my life stresses me out”), I deeply
and completely accept myself. ”
Now tap the EFT sequence or the points with this reminde r phrase,
starting with the top of the head, ending with the under -the-arm point: “I’m
stressed. Life is stressful. ”  Run this EFT sequence a few times until you
notice a dif ference in your level of intensity. Step 3. What does your stress-o-meter say now. Take note of the level of
your stress on the 0 to 10 scale again. Note any differences in your number. If your level of stress continues to be above 4, tap another two or three
rounds until the level subsides to below 4. If something specific about your
stress comes to mind as you tap, note the specific issue and create an EFT
setup statement. Tap through the EFT basic recipe on that issue before
moving to step 4 of this exercise. Step 4. This next EFT setup statement is a reframe, where you restate the
problem in a way that is more optimistic, giving you a different perspective
from which to consider the issue. Reframes work when the person tapping
is ready to receive them. Otherwise, they bounce of f like a ball. Express your EFT setup phras e aloud one to three times while karate
chopping on the side of the hand:
“Even though I’m stressed, what if this chapter has some stress-
dissolving techniques for me that ease my stress. ”
Step 5. One round from top of head through the points:
Top of head: I’m stressed. Inside eyebrow:  This stress. Side of eye:  Too much stress. Under eye:  My body on stress. Under nose:  All the stress in my life. Chin:  Too much stress. Collarbone:  Ugh, stress. Under arm:  I hate it and I want it to go away. Step 6. Perform the EFT sequence (the tap-down points) using the
following variations for the reminder phrase or your own version. Top of head: Is it possible this stress-busting tool will work for me. Inside eyebrow:  No way. How’ s this tapping gonna relieve my stress. Side of eye: Ghostbusters worked for ghosts. What about stress busters. Is
it possible that there are some stress-busting tools for me. Under eye:  Could there be ways for me to ease my stress load. Under nose:  Nah, that would be too easy. Chin:  What if it’s easier than I think,  and all my thoughts, doubts, fears,
and guilts are making it harder. What if this tapping actua lly helps
relieve the way I react to stress. Collarbone:  It would feel so great to release some of this stress. Under arm:  I’d have  more patience with the [kids, dogs, spouse, work,
colleagues], I’d have more energy, I’d sleep better, I’d like myself better
and feel better about my life. Stress Relief, Part 2
Step 1. List the stressors in your life and jot them down in your EFT
journal. Now how stressed are you about stress. Rate your stress  on the 0 to
10 scale and write the number down.
The chapter focuses on the relationship between stress and the body, and how EFT can be used to ease stress and promote relaxation.
What is the main focus of the chapter on stress?
The goal of the "Box Up" exercise is to acknowledge and accept the stress, rather than trying to change it immediately.
What is the main goal of the "Box Up" exercise?
The purpose of the "Box Up" exercise is to help the person accept their current situation and focus on what is right, rather than trying to change the situation immediately.
What is the purpose of the "Box Up" exercise?
The chapter discusses the concept of ancestral stress and how it can affect our lives, and how EFT can be used to overcome it.
What is the main idea of the chapter on ancestral stress?
The chapter focuses on the importance of listening to and honoring the body, rather than trying to change it.
What is the main focus of the chapter on the body and love?