The real truth is that, as we go
within and discard one illusion after another , one falsehood after another ,
one negative program after another , it gets lighter and lighter . The
awareness of the presence of love becomes stronger and stronger . W e will
feel lighter and lighter . Life becomes progressively more ef fortless. Every great teacher since the beginning of time has said to look within
and find the truth, for the truth of what we really are will set us free. If what
is to be found within ourselves were something to feel guilty about,
something that is rotten, evil and negative, then all the world’ s great
teachers would not advise us to look there. On the contrary , they would tell
us to avoid it at all costs. W e will discover that all of the things the world
calls “evil” are right on the surface; they are right on the top, as the
superficial, outer thin layer . Beneath these errors is mistakenness. W e are
not rotten—only ignorant. As the quantity of guilty fear and the ener gy accompanying it are
relinquished, we will notice that physical diseases and symptoms begin to
disappear . The capacity to love ourselves in the form of increased self-
esteem returns and with it comes the capacity to love others. Being freed
from guilt brings about a renewal of life ener gy . This can be dramatically
witnessed in many people who are converted through religious experience. The sudden freedom from guilt through the mechanism of for giveness isresponsible for thousands of recoveries from serious and advanced diseases. Whether or not we agree with their religious concept is immaterial. What is
important to notice is that the alleviation of guilt is accompanied by a
resur gence of life ener gy , well-being, and physical health. When it comes to healing ourselves and increasing our own emotional
health, it “pays to be paranoid.” W e become aware of all the guilt-mongers
in our life and their deleterious influences. W e can ask ourselves, could we not achieve the same motivation or
behavior out of love rather than out of fear and guilt? Is guilt the only
reason we don’ t stab our neighbor? Why couldn’ t it be that we would refuse
to stab our neighbor because we love and care for him as a fellow human
being who is intrinsically innocent and who is struggling to grow , but may
make mistakes along the way just as we, ourselves, have done? W ould not
following religious teachings, whatever they are, be more ef fective if done
out of love and appreciation, rather than out of guilt and fear? W e can ask
ourselves, what do we really need guilt for anyway? What possible service
do we get out of it? Are we so miserably stupid that we behave only out of
guilt? Are we so unconscious? Cannot consideration for the feelings of
others replace guilt as a motivation for appropriate human behavior? As we examine these issues and look at their social origins, we see that
the Middle Ages are far from over . The Inquisition has merely taken on
newer and subtler forms of cruelty . W e have unwittingly bought into a
system of negativity that is currently running the planet. T o make wrong
and to make guilty is really a form of cruelty , is it not? W e have allowed
others to program us with methods of self-torture, and we can see that we
have retaliated by inviting others to torture themselves in return. W e have
allowed ourselves to be manipulated by guilt, and we turn it around and use
that same mechanism of guilt to try to exploit and control others. The degree to which we have not allowed ourselves to experience the
reality of our true Self is represented by our resentment toward those who
have actually done so. W e resent their aliveness in the areas in which we
feel disabled. This sobering truth is represented by the story of the man who
walks along the beach and comes upon a fisherman with a pail full of crabs. He says to the fisherman, “Y ou’d better put a cover on that pail or the crabs
will get out.” “W ell, no,” said the wise old fisherman. “There is no need for
that. Y ou see, as one crab crawls up the side of the pail to get out, the othercrabs reach up and grab him and pull him back down. So there’ s no need for
a cover .”
As we keep letting go, getting lighter , and becoming freer , we will,
unfortunately , see that the nature of the world is like that pail of crabs. And,
then, the full extent of its negativity becomes apparent. When we become
totally aware of the bill of goods that we have been sold, it is very likely
that we will feel anger and a strong desire to become liberated from the
constraints of negativity . CHAPTER
7
D E S I R E
This emotion may range from a mild wanting to an obsessive, driven
craving for something or someone. It is also expressed as greed, obsession,
hunger , envy , jealousy , clinging, hoarding, ruthlessness, fixation, frenzy ,
exaggeration, over -ambition, selfishness, lust, possessiveness, control,
glamorization, insatiability , and acquisitiveness. “Never satisfied.” “Never
enough.” “Must have.” The underlying quality of this emotion is its
drivenness. When we are at the ef fect of desire, we are no longer free. W e
are controlled by it, run by it, enslaved and led about by the nose by it. Here again, the essential point of freedom is whether we have chosen
consciously to fulfill a certain want, or whether we are just being blindly
run by unconscious programs and belief systems. Desir e as an Obstacle
There is often a lack of understanding of the function of wanting and desire. The main illusion is seen in the statement, “The only way that I’ll get what I
want is by desiring it; if I let go of my desire, then I won’ t get what I want.”
Actually , the opposite is true. Desire, especially strong desire (e.g.,
cravingness), frequently blocks our getting what we want. Why is this so? Actually , the way something comes into our life is
because we have chosen it. It was the result of our intention, or we made a
decision for it. It has come into our life in spite of desir e . The desiring was
actually the obstacle to its achievement or acquisition. This is because
desire literally means, “I do not have.” In other words, if we say that wedesire something, we are saying that it isn’ t ours. When we say that it isn’ t
ours, we put a psychic distance between ourselves and what we want. This
distance becomes the obstacle that consumes ener gy . The impossible becomes possible as soon as we are totally surrendered. This is because wanting blocks receiving it and results in a fear of not
getting it. The ener gy of desire is, in essence, a denial that what we want is
ours for the asking. This is a dif ferent way of looking at achieving goals than the one we
are used to from the programming of our world. W e are used to picturing
ambition and success as being associated with hard work and the classical
“Protestant ethic” virtues. These include self-sacrifice, asceticism, great
expenditure of ef fort and endeavor , keeping our nose to the grindstone,
tightening our belt, buckling down, and all the grimness of hard work. When we look at this whole picture, it sounds arduous, doesn’ t it? W ell, it
is. It involves struggle, and the struggle results from the block we have put
in our own way because of desire. Let’ s compare the arduous lower consciousness way of achieving goals
with a higher state of consciousness in which we have acknowledged and
let go of the desire, and are in a freer state. In a freer state, that which is
chosen manifests in our life ef fortlessly . W e surrender the emotion of desire
and, instead, merely choose the goal, picture it lovingly , and allow it to
happen because we see that it is already ours. Why is it already ours? In a lower state of consciousness, the universe
is seen as negative and denying, frustrating, and reluctant. It is like a bad,
stingy parent. In a higher state of consciousness, our experience of the
universe changes. It now becomes like a giving, loving, unconditionally
approving parent who wants us to have everything we want, and it is ours
for the asking. This is creating a dif ferent context. It is giving the universe a
dif ferent meaning. Although the world may be stingy and hostile to other people, there is
no reason why we should buy into this paradigm. When we buy into it, we
make it that way in our own life. As we experience the letting go of desires,
we begin to see that what we have chosen will come into our life almost
magically . “What we hold in mind tends to manifest.” As was said before,
during times of supposed high unemployment, some people are not only
employed but have two or three jobs.This was a shockingly new way of looking at the world when it was
first encountered. There was the hope that it was true, but also a skepticism
that said, “This just isn’ t possible on a pragmatic level.” A strict “Protestant
ethic” background made it hard to believe; nonetheless, the willingness was
there to be open-minded enough to give it a try . Here was the initial
experience with letting go of desire. Personal goals were written down, followed by a letting go of the
desire for them. It sounds paradoxical but that is the process: identify the
goals and then let go of wanting them. One goal that had been held in mind
for several years was an apartment in New Y ork City , because work
commitments required a lot of commuting and money spent on hotel rooms. A small apartment in the city—a so-called pied-à-terr e— would be the
economical solution. “Apartment in New Y ork City” was written down as a
goal. When utilizing this way of achieving goals, we include all of the
details, as impossible as they may seem to the rational mind to achieve. So,
the ideal apartment was detailed: reasonably priced, on Fifth A venue in the
70s block, right next to an entrance to Central Park, at least eight or nine
floors up and in the rear so that the street noise would be minimized, and
not any bigger than about two and a half rooms. The next day at work, it was busy as usual, with a big caseload,
meetings, and patient visits. In between the meetings and patients, the
feeling of wantingness for the apartment would be acknowledged and let
go. And, as the day progressed, the apartment was actually for gotten. At
4:30 P .M. , after the last patient, there was suddenly the impulse to drive into
the city . Despite the fact that it was ostensibly rush hour , the road was clear
and the drive took only half an hour . The car cruised to about 73rd and
Lexington, pulling up to the nearest real estate of fice. Rather magically ,
there happened to be a parking space open right in front of the real estate
of fice. The real estate of ficer , upon hearing the tongue-in-cheek
announcement that an apartment on Fifth A venue was desired, looked with
surprise and said, “W ell, you are certainly in luck! Exactly one hour ago we
listed the only apartment for rent on all of Fifth A venue, at 76th Street, on
the ninth floor . It’ s the rear apartment, two and a half rooms, and the rent is
reasonable (rent-controlled at $500.00 a month). It has just been painted and
you can move in any time.” So we walked over and viewed the apartment. It fit the description of the goal exactly . The lease was signed on the spot! Thus, within 24 hours of trying the letting go technique on a specificpersonal goal, the goal was a reality . It had been something that was almost
impossible to find, and yet it happened exactly as pictured, ef fortlessly , and
with no negative emotions. It was an easy and joyous experience. This is not an unusual experience but a typical one, because in this case
the desire was moderate and could, without much ef fort, be totally
surrendered. By being totally surrendered, this means that it was okay if the
apartment happened, and it was okay if it didn’ t. Because of being totally
surrendered, the impossible became possible, manifesting itself ef fortlessly
and rapidly . W e can all doubt this mechanism and look back at things that we
wanted and that were achieved through ambition, desire, craving, and even
obsessive, frenzied wanting. The mind says, “W ell, what if I had let go of
the desire for those things? If it weren’ t for the desire, how would I have
gotten them?” The truth is, we could have gotten them anyway , only
without anxiety (fear of not getting), without all the ener gy expenditure,
without all the ef fort, without all the trial and error , and without all the hard
work. “W ell!” the mind says, “if we got it ef fortlessly , how about the pride of
achievement? W ouldn’ t we have to sacrifice that?” W ell, yes, we would
have to relinquish the vanity of all that sacrifice and hard work that we put
into it. W e would have to give up the sentimentality about the self-sacrifice
and all the pain and suf fering we went through to achieve our goals. This is
a peculiar perversion in our society , isn’ t it? If we suddenly become
successful almost ef fortlessly , then people are envious. It really annoys
them that we didn’ t have to go through all kinds of anguish, pain, and
suf fering to get there. Their mind believes that such anguish is the cost that
must be paid for success. Let’ s look at this belief. If it weren’ t for the negative programming that
made us believe otherwise, why should we go through any cost of pain and
suf fering to achieve anything in our life? Isn’ t that a rather sadistic view of
the world and the universe? Other blocks to the achievement of our wants and desires, of course,
are unconscious guilt and smallness. Peculiarly , the unconscious will allow
us to have only what we think we deserve. The more we hang on to our
negativity and the small self-image that results, the less we think we
deserve, and we unconsciously deny ourselves the abundance which flows
so easily to others. That is the reason for the saying, “The poor get poorerand the rich get richer .” If we have a small view of ourselves, then what we
deserve is poverty , and our unconscious will see to it that we have that
actuality . As we relinquish our smallness and revalidate our own inner
innocence, and as we let go of resisting our generosity , openness, trust,
lovingness, and faith, then the unconscious will automatically start
arranging life circumstances so that abundance begins to flow into our life. Having—Doing—Being
As we free ourselves out of lower states of consciousness such as apathy
and fear , we come into wantingness. What was formerly an “I can’ t” and
impossible now becomes possible. The general progression of the levels of
consciousness, as we go from the lowest to the highest, is to move from
havingness to doingness to beingness. At the lower levels of consciousness,
it is what we have  that counts. It is what we have  that we want. It is what
we have  that we value. It is what we have  that gives us our self-image of
worth and position in the world. Once we have proven to ourselves that we can have, that our basic
needs can be fulfilled, that we have the power to provide for our own needs
and those of others who are dependent upon us, the mind begins to become
more interested in what it is that we do . Then, we move to a dif ferent social
set in which what we do  in the world is the basis of our value and how
others rate us. As we move up in lovingness, our doingness is less and less
preoccupied with self-service and becomes more and more oriented to
being of service to others. As our consciousness grows, we see that service,
which is lovingly oriented toward others, automatically results in the
fulfillment of our own needs. (This does not mean sacrifice. Service is not
sacrifice.) Eventually , we become convinced that our own needs are
automatically fulfilled by the universe, and our actions become almost
automatically loving. At that point, it is no longer what we do in the world but what we ar e
that counts. W e have proven to ourselves that we can have what we need,
that we can do almost anything, given the willingness. And now what we
ar e , within ourselves and to others, becomes most important. People now
seek our company , not because of what we have , not because of what we do
and society’ s labels, but because of what we have become . Because of the
quality of our presence, people just want to be around us and experience us. Our social description changes. W e are no longer the person who has afashionable apartment or big car or a bric-a-brac collection, nor are we
labeled as the President of the So-and-So Corporation or a member of the
Board of Directors of some or ganization. Now we are described as a
splendid person, as somebody whom people just have to meet, just have to
know . W e become described as a charismatic person. This level of beingness is typical of self-help groups. In self-help
groups, no one is interested in what others do in the world or what they
have. They are only interested in whether or not we have achieved certain
inner goals, such as those of honesty , openness, sharingness, lovingness,
willingness to help, humility , genuineness, and awareness. They are
interested in our quality of beingness. Glamour
Glamour is a very useful subject to understand. Once we understand it, it
greatly facilitates the letting go of desires. The book called Glamour: A
W orld Pr oblem  (1950), by Alice Bailey , presents the whole subject expertly . If we look at something that we want, we can begin to distinguish
between the thing itself versus the aura, patina, flash, and attractive
magnetic ef fect of a quality that can best be described as “glamour .” It is
this disparity between what a thing is in itself, and the glamour that we have
attached to it, which leads to disillusionment. So often we have chased
some goal and, then, when we have achieved it, we are disappointed. That
is because the thing itself does not coincide with our pictures of it. Glamour
means that we have attached sentimentality or we have made it bigger than
life. W e have projected onto a thing a magical quality that somehow leads
us to believe that, once we acquire it, we will magically achieve some
higher state of happiness and satisfaction. This happens very often with vocational goals. The man works year
after year striving to become president of the company or become important
and prominent in some other way . When he gets there, he expects to
experience all the satisfaction and the glamour associated with that level of
achievement: the kowtowing by employees, the flashy cars, the prominent
of fice, the labels, the titles, and the exclusive addresses. But what he finds
is that all of these things are superficial. They are very inadequate
compensation for the agonizing ener gy drain and daily grind that, in reality ,
the position necessitates. While he pictured that he would get admiration,
what he often finds at the top levels is viciousness, competitiveness, envy ,and the endless fawning and dishonest manipulations that occur to people in
power , including the paranoid attacks by competitors. He finds that his
ener gy is so drained that he has no ener gy left over for his personal life; his
relationships are impaired. His wife complains that he is too exhausted to
make love, too depleted to give her the ener gy she needs, too worn-out to be
a good father , and too tired even to enjoy a favorite recreational activity . The same thing occurs with women in the traditionally feminine areas
of achievement. A woman thinks, for instance, if she gets a certain designer
dress for the party that the dress is going to bring her attention, adulation,
and admiration, and that it will win her a certain social status. W ith much
sacrifice, she spends a great deal of money and ef fort on the dress, running
back and forth for fittings. But what happens? At the dinner party , there are
a few passing comments on her dress and that’ s the end of it. Nobody
dances with her any more than usual. She is not more prominent than she
was before the party . No more genuine attention is paid to her than
previously . She gets some hostile, envious looks from other women who
recognize what she probably paid for the dress. During the evening, she has
the usual ar gument with her escort, and they go home in the car barely
speaking to each other , the same as in the past. As women make gains in the corporate and political arenas, they face
the disappointment that accompanies longed-for , glamorized leadership
roles in the public. What was predicted to enhance prestige and esteem
instead brings criticism, envy , and hostility—even from other women. The
experience of achieving their goal is often not what they thought it was
going to be. There is endless judgment of a woman’ s public persona and
dress, and she may have the gnawing feeling of inner worry that she has
failed her family by going for professional fulfillment. “W inning” is
sometimes not as liberating as glamour would want us to believe. Emotional goals are also glamorized by sentimentality and
emotionalism. A certain excitement is projected onto the emotional event
(e.g., a reunion, a first date, or being elected president of one’ s class). It is
made to seem more important than it really is in the overall course of
events. After the event passes, life goes on the same and disappointment
ensues. Glamorization, of course, is starkly obvious in advertising. Here we see
it sui generis. The cowboy is the glamorization of masculinity , and the
ballet dancer is the glamorization of femininity . Men are attracted bypersonality , not the brand; thus, the cowboy represents the glamorized male
who is rugged, cool, suave, and in control. The consumer projects onto the
product that it will give him those desired personality traits. Glamorization is living at a fantasy level. Therefore, when we proceed
to let go of a desire, we must dissect away that which is exaggeration,
fantasy , and romanticization. Once we have relinquished the glamour , it will
be relatively easy to surrender the desire itself. If you let go of the
romanticization of the cowboy , for example, then the cigarette or the
cheesebur ger that he was handling in the commercial will lose its appeal. In
fact, much to our surprise, we will find over and over again that the desire
was attached to the glamorous fantasy; there was no reality in it in the first
place. Because there was no reality in it, the world is constantly selling us
dishonesty , catering to our desire for that romantic, glamorized aspect. It
promises to make us more important than we really are. Glamour at that
level of dishonesty is a fake. The mind protests: “Do I have to give up all that glamorous
excitement? Do I have to let go of my pictures of emotional gratification
and excitement?” The answer is obviously “No.” W e don’ t have to give
them up at all. And we can achieve the goals ef fortlessly and easily once we
are conscious of what we are choosing. W e can have them directly . W e can
be attractive, but we won’ t get it in a fake way such as driving a certain
style of car . W e will get it by letting go of our smallness and owning our
greatness, thereby reflecting it out into the world. W e can easily become
that exciting person whom people are eager to know . Just choose to be that
person and let go of the block of desiring to be that way . W e can have what
we want directly without detouring through some fraudulent promise that
will lead us into frustration and disappointment. The way to become that exciting person whom people want to know is
very easy . W e simply picture the kind of person we want to be and
surrender all the negative feelings and blocks that prevent us from being
that. What happens, then, is that all we need to have and to do will
automatically fall into place. This is because, in contrast to having  and
doing , the level of being  has the most power and ener gy . When it is given
priority , it automatically integrates and or ganizes one’ s activities. This
mechanism is evidenced in the common experience, “What we hold in mind
tends to manifest.”The Power of Inner Decision
These are not philosophical positions but practical processes that can be
proven through experience. It is easy to experiment with these concepts and
watch the automatic results take place. Because of the mind’ s tendency to
want to attribute credit elsewhere, other than to the power of our own
consciousness, it is good to keep a diary to write down goals that we would
really like to achieve and then check them of f and make follow-up notes. Why? Because it will take a while before we believe that it is truly our own
power that is accomplishing these ends. Here is an interesting example of the denial of inner power . A man,
who was desperate for a job and pretty frantic about it, was instructed on
how to apply the letting go technique to his job situation. Because he was of
a religious nature, he was advised to for get about getting a job, to turn it
over to God, and to surrender his desire in the matter while staying open to
what might happen. A week later , he recounted: “W ell, the day after I
surrendered wanting a job, nothing happened. Then I got a long-distance
phone call from my brother -in-law , and I am going to be joining his firm. If
it weren’ t for my brother -in-law , I never would have gotten a job. It’ s a
good thing I didn’ t wait for God!”
This is a good example of what the mind has a tendency to do. It was
his own surrender , of course, that brought in the call from his brother -in-
law . He so frantically desired the job that the desire was blocking the
fulfillment of that goal. When he let go of wanting a job, it quickly
appeared within 24 hours. But the propensity of the mind is to disown one’ s
own power and project it elsewhere onto the world. This is why people in
their own estimation think they are powerless. They have the power , but
they have merely projected it onto external forces. W e are all powerful
beings who have become unconscious of our own power; we have denied
and projected it onto others out of guilt and our own sense of smallness. The majority of what happens in our lifetime is the result of some
decision we have made somewhere in the past, either consciously or
unconsciously . Because this is so, it is very simple, then, to see our past
decisions by looking at our life and tracking backwards. This principle is demonstrated by a woman who came for
psychotherapy . She needed treatment because, in her words, “My
relationships never work out.” She had one unsatisfactory love af fair after
another and was always left feeling used and abused. She was full ofresentment, self-pity , and depression. The problem, of course, was given in
her opening sentence, “My relationships never work out.”
Because we deny the power of our own mind, we don’ t see the
glaringly obvious. It is very curious how we have become so unaware. Here
is a woman who has the answer sitting right there, but she does not see that
it is the answer . She really doesn’ t see the power of her own belief system. Our mind is so powerful that, if we hold in mind a single thought such as,
“My relationships never work out,” then that is most likely going to happen
in our life. Our unconscious genie, which can only take orders and not make
decisions, sees to it that our relationships don’ t work out. Of course, she got a lot of payof fs from her disappointing relationship
history . She got to experience self-pity , resentment, jealousy , envy , and all
those gratifications that the small self feeds on endlessly . If we look at the
small part of ourselves, we will see that this is the kind of thing in which it
just loves to wallow . The small self glorifies in how miserable life is, how
tough luck is, how rotten our experiences have been and how mean people
have been to us. But we pay a big price when we listen to this set of
programs. The corollary is obviously true. If our mind, by its decision, has the
power to make negative things happen in our life, then it has equal power in
the opposite, positive direction. W e can choose all over again. This time we
can choose the positive. W e can cancel the old programs, and we can do
that by beginning to relinquish the gratification we were getting out of the
negative payof fs. Now that we have looked at the subject a bit, we can come up with the
term that most aptly describes this set of emotions: “selfishness.” The mere
use of the word instantly sets up a resistance due to guilt. W e all feel guilty
because of selfishness. This puts us in an impossible position because, in
order to carry out what the world has taught us, we have to indulge in the
very thing for which it then condemns us: selfishness. T o look at the
subject, let’ s first make a decision that we are not going to beat ourselves up
about it and get into the self-indulgence of guilt. That’ s what guilt is, really ,
isn’ t it? Self-indulgence. Instead, let’ s look at the term “selfishness” as merely describing the
collective motivations and modes of operation of the small self that is a
genetic aspect of the mind which, due to our own naïveté, we allowedourselves to be programmed with, and which we are now resolved to de-
program in reverse, like the “uninstall” command on a computer . The reason to let go of selfishness is not because of guilt. Not because
it’ s a “sin.” Not because it’ s “wrong.” All such motivations come from
lower consciousness and self-judgment. Rather , the reason to let go of
selfishness is simply because it is impractical. It doesn’ t work. It’ s too
costly . It consumes too much ener gy . It delays the accomplishment of our
goals and the realization of our wants. Because of its very nature, the small
self is the creator of guilt and its self-perpetuator; that is, out of guilt we
strive to accomplish and achieve success. Then, when we achieve success,
we feel guilty because we have it. There is no winning of the guilt game. The only solution is to give it up, to let it go. Our mind would like to make us think that guilt is laudatory , and the
guilt-mongers of the world love to make an idol of it. Which is more
important: to feel guilty or to change for the better? If somebody owes us
money , would we rather they feel guilty about it or pay us the money? If we
intend to feel guilty , we should at least consciously choose it instead of
being unwittingly run by it. When we move from being selfish with a small “s,” we move into
being Selfish with a capital “S.” W e move from our smaller self to our
greater Self. W e move from weakness to power , and from self-hatred and
pettiness to lovingness and harmony . W e move from strife to ease, and from
frustration to accomplishment. In summation, then, instead of the motivation of selfishness and desire,
we can much more ef fortlessly bring into our life that which we want by
envisioning what we wish to have happen. W e do this by declaration of our
intention, by acceptance, by decision, and by the act of consciously
choosing. CHAPTER
8
A N G E R
Anger may vary all the way from rage to mild resentment. It includes
revenge, outrage, indignation, fury , jealousy , vindictiveness, spite, hatred,
contempt, wrath, ar gumentativeness, hostility , sarcasm, impatience,
frustration, negativity , aggression, violence, revulsion, meanness, rebellion,
explosive behavior , agitation, abusiveness, abrasiveness, smoldering,
sullenness, pouting, and stubbornness. These variations of anger are well
exemplified by the daily news on television. Anger may come up about the technique of surrender itself. Anger that
one is expected to let go of feelings that, in the past, have been valued. Anger at the fear of loss. Anger at feelings in general. Anger at a feeling
that does not relinquish immediately . There is a lot of ener gy in anger; therefore, we may actually feel
ener gized when we are irritated or angry . One of the tricks people learn is to
move up quickly from apathy and grief into anger , and then to jump from
anger to pride, and then on into courage. In anger , there is the ener gy for
action. This results in doingness in the world. When the “have-nots” of the
world become ener gized by desire and move up to anger over what they
lack, that anger moves them into the actions necessary to fulfill their dreams
for a better life. The quantity of suppressed anger in the population can be verified
quickly by seeing how popular violence is in the media, where the viewers
are presented with a vicarious experience of letting out their anger in theform of beatings, shootings, stabbings, lynchings, killings of various “bad
guys.”
W e typically feel so much guilt about anger that we find it necessary to
make the object of our anger “wrong” so that we can say our anger is
“justified.” Few are the persons who can take responsibility for their own
anger and just say , “I am angry because I am full of angriness.”
Using Anger Positively
It is common for people to repress their anger , aggression, and inner
hostility; they view it as unpleasant, undignified, and even as a moral
failure or spiritual setback. They do not realize that repressed anger is
nonetheless the ener gy of anger and, if not acknowledged and worked
through, it will have deleterious consequences to their health and overall
progress. The intention behind anger is negative, and it will have similar
consequences even if it is not expressed. A helpful approach is to view the ener gy of anger positively and to use
it to fire up our ambitions and our actions in a useful way . For instance, let’ s
say that we are angry at our boss. W e feel resentful. He never seems to
acknowledge our abilities or ef forts. But we know it’ s unwise to express
anger and resentment. It would very likely result in the loss of our job or at
least bring on the continued resentment of the boss. At best, the expression
of anger would result in a tacky situation. Instead, we can make a decision
to use that ener gy in a constructive way in our own behalf. It can be the
inspiration for us to create a project that, because of its excellence, proves
our point. It might be the ener gy for us to move up and out of a situation
that is unsatisfactory . W e can utilize that ener gy to create new job
opportunities or find a better job, form a committee, improve our
employment situation, start a union, or whatever we think would benefit our
personal goals. In personal relationships, the same opportunity exists. The anger can be
utilized to inspire us to improve our communication skills, take a course on
interpersonal relationships, or enroll in a self-improvement program. The
anger can inspire us to rededication, to put forth greater clarity of ef fort, and
to actually do a better job. In this way , the situation can result in
recommitment. It can inspire us to look within ourselves and relinquish all
the negative feelings, via acceptance. Instead of being mad about it, we can
accept it.Self-Sacrifice
There are many sources of anger . W e have already mentioned that very
often a complex of angry feelings is connected with fear , and the anger
disappears when we let go of the fear . Another source of anger is that of
pride, and especially that aspect of pride called vanity . Frequently , it is our
personal pride that feeds and propagates the anger . One source of pride is connected with self-sacrifice. If our relationships
with others are associated with our small self in the form of sacrifice, then
we are setting ourselves up for later anger , because the other person is
usually unaware of our “sacrifice” and is, therefore, unlikely to fulfill our
expectations. An example of this comes from a day in the life of a typical traditional
marriage. The wife spends the entire day working hard at cleaning the
house, meticulously looking after the plants, bringing in flowers,
rearranging some furniture, and doing all she can to make the house look
beautiful. When the husband comes home, he doesn’ t say a word about the
house or even seem to notice. Instead, he is exhausted from a day at work,
and he recounts its various trials and tribulations. In his mind, he is thinking
of all the self-sacrifices he has made: the irate customers, the arduous drive
through commuter traf fic, the irritable boss, and the pressure of deadlines. He is thinking of all that he has done for his wife and family . While he is
thinking of all this hardship, she is feeling a mounting resentment that he
hasn’ t acknowledged her ef forts, and she goes back in her mind over all the
sacrifices she made that day . She could have gone out for lunch with
friends. She could have finished reading the book that she is enjoying. She
could have watched her favorite program on television. Instead, she did all
of this for him, and now he is making no comment on the results of her
ef forts. As both harbor their grudges, resentments, and frustrations, their
inner anger mounts; it is expressed as coolness and detachment as they
escape into television for the evening and go to bed silently to brood over
their grievances. This is such a typical American home scene that it is
almost banal to repeat it here. Y et, its commonness speaks of its learning
value to us; we can examine it and try to unravel this decline of a
relationship. That which we want, desire, and insist upon from another person is felt
by them as pressure. They will, therefore, unconsciously resist. In the above
example, both persons are looking for acknowledgment. They want it,desire it, but block it in each other . Each side feels pressured and,
consequently , resistant. The resistance is because pressure is always felt by
us as a denial of our choice. It is felt as emotional blackmail. The
unconscious formula goes, “Give me what I want or I will punish you by
withdrawal, anger , pouting, sulking, and resentment.” W e all resent feeling
emotionally blackmailed. W e all know the resistance we feel when we
become aware that somebody is fishing for a compliment, and the same
resistance goes on unconsciously as well as consciously . When we are motivated by self-sacrifice, we are pressuring the other
person. Even if we force an acknowledgment, it will be a disgruntled one. A
forced compliment does not satisfy . Part of the anger here arises from the
pride of self-sacrifice. W e have a certain secret vanity about what we are
doing for others, and our pride of achievement makes us vulnerable to anger
when our “sacrifice” is not recognized. The way to of fset this anger is to acknowledge and relinquish the pride,
surrender our desire for the pleasure of self-pity and, instead, view our
ef forts on behalf of others as gifts . W e can experience the joy of being
generous with others as its own reward. Acknowledgment
One of the great secrets of relationship is acknowledgment. The behavior of
others toward us always includes a hidden gift. Even if that behavior
appears negative, there is something in it for us. V ery often that something
appears in the form of a signal to us to become more aware. Let’ s say , for
example, that somebody calls us “stupid.” Our natural response is one of
anger . W e can use the ener gy of that anger consciously: “What is that
person asking me to become more aware of?” If we ask ourselves the
question, we may come to the realization that we were being self-centered;
we were being uncaring; we were failing to acknowledge them; and we
were not being conscious and aware of what was going on in the
relationship. If we constantly follow this procedure, we will come to the awareness
that everyone in our life is acting as a mirror . They are really reflecting back
to us what we have failed to acknowledge within ourselves. They are
forcing us to look at what needs to be addressed. What aspect of our smaller
self needs to be relinquished? This means that we have to constantly let go
of our pride in order to undo anger , so that we can be grateful for thecontinual opportunities of growth with which we are presented in the course
of everyday experience. T o do this, we have to resist the temptation to indulge in making
ourselves and others “wrong.” If we look at the “small self” aspect of
ourselves, we will see that making ourselves and others “wrong” is one of
its favorite activities (e.g., politics and the media). This is because the small
self is ignorant of better ways to accomplish our goals. It does not see the
alternative, which is choosing to change a situation out of free choice. One way we force ourselves out of unsatisfactory situations is by
making ourselves or the situation “wrong.” Instead of merely choosing to
find a better job, for instance, our smaller self makes the job, the boss, and
fellow workers “wrong.” Because of the picture of wrongness, the situation
now becomes intolerable, and we are forced to change it. How much easier
it would have been had we just simply chosen to move on to a better
situation. However , because of our sense of obligation, guilt is very often
the block to this simpler way . In other words, because of what has benefited
us in a situation, we feel guilty about leaving it. So the unconscious
ingeniously has created the whole mechanism of wrongness to force us out
of dead-end situations. This often happens in interpersonal relationships
where we feel that we have to make the other person “wrong” in order to
justify leaving them. Resorting to the mechanism of wrongness is simply a
denial of our own freedom to choose. One source of anger stems from the unacknowledged acts of the love
that we have expressed to others. Love in this context means the everyday
simple forms of lovingness that go on in every human relationship in the
form of thoughtfulness, consideration, polite gestures, encouragement, and
providing. V ery often an internal dialogue can go on for years about our
resentment over the other person’ s lack of appreciation for our feelings
about them. If this is so for us, it must be the case for others as well. There
are people, therefore, in our life who are walking around with an endless
mental stream of thoughts about us, having to do with our lack of
appreciation of their feelings for us. This whole arena of anger can be of fset and prevented when we see the
enormous value of simply acknowledging the gestures of others toward us. This means to acknowledge all of their communications to us. For instance,
if friends call us on the phone, we thank them for calling us. The reason for
doing this is that it makes the other persons feel complete and secure withus. It is an acknowledgment of their value in our life, and everyone feels
pleased when we acknowledge their value. By this simple mechanism of acknowledgment, it is possible, within a
matter of days, to transform all of one’ s relationships in a rather dramatic
way . This acknowledgment does not have to go on in the outer world but
can take place within oneself. As we examine our relationships, we can ask
ourselves, “What have I failed to acknowledge in those with whom I have
daily contact?”
It is a very valuable experience to pick someone in our life who, in our
view , is critical toward us and now , within ourselves, begin to look at how
we have failed to acknowledge them. W e surrender all of our negative
feelings about them, and we begin to give them credit, af firming their value
to us. Their value may simply be that they are a spur to our emotional
growth and development. The nagging spouse or scowling neighbor is
trying to say something. Almost always in this sort of situation, such
persons are not feeling acknowledged for the contribution they are making
to our life. Once their value to us has been acknowledged, the nagging
stops. Expectations
When we stop pressuring others with our expectations, we create an
opening for them spontaneously to respond positively to us. W e can, in a
prophylactic move, of fset resentments by shifting what we have done for
others from the level of sacrifice to the level of a loving gift. W e can then
acknowledge ourselves for this move and drop our expectations, which will
dissolve the resistances in others. A simple experiment illustrates this shift. There was a man who
brought back two new shirts from Mexico. The new shirts were of a totally
dif ferent design than the kind of clothes he was accustomed to wearing. The
first day that he decided to wear one of the shirts, he noticed he had an inner
expectation and a sort of subtle pride in doing something new and dif ferent. However , instead of surrendering the pride, he decided to keep it; that is, he
purposefully didn’ t use the letting go technique to surrender the pride and
simply let it be there. He wanted to see what would happen, how people
would respond. That day , he proudly wore the new shirt and, sure enough,
nobody even mentioned it, despite the fact that it was totally dif ferent from
his usual attire. It must have really stood out, but there was not a singlecomment. When he went home, he had to laugh at how true was
entrepreneur Robert Ringer ’ s term for that kind of a situation as the
“boy/girl theory .” (Boy wants girl, therefore, girl is disinterested in boy . As
soon as boy is no longer interested in girl, girl now wants boy .) The next morning he decided he would wear the other new shirt, but
this time he surrendered all of his vanity and his expectations of being
noticed. He let go of that little pride that he was doing something new and
dif ferent, and he acknowledged the love of all his friends and the important
part they played in the happiness of his life. By the time he got through the
letting go process, he was totally surrendered on wearing the shirt. He knew
he was totally surrendered, because it was okay if they noticed the new
shirt, and it was okay if they didn’ t. That day was suddenly like new shirt
day! Almost every person he met commented on the new shirt, asked him
where he had gotten it, and he spent the day getting lots of attention. This
experiment humorously makes the point: W e get what we want when we
stop insisting on it ! Expectation of others is a form of emotional blackmail. W e can feel our
resistance when others pull for certain emotional “goods” from us. W e can
get away from being emotionally blackmailed by looking at how we do it
with others, and, then, we can let go of wanting to manipulate their
emotional responses toward us. Another way of preventing anger is by making a decision within
oneself no longer to accept invalidation from others or the small aspect of
oneself. This decision can be in the form of a firm declaration: “I will no
longer accept invalidation from myself or others.” When this is coupled
with the habit of acknowledging all that is positive within ourselves and
others, relationships rapidly change, their potential sources of anger having
been removed. Chr onic Resentment
Chronic, unrecognized anger and resentment reemer ge in our life as
depression, which is anger directed against oneself. If pushed further into
the unconscious, it can re-emer ge as psychosomatic illnesses. Migraine
headaches, arthritis, and hypertension are frequently cited examples of
chronic suppressed anger . These symptoms are very often alleviated as
people learn how to let go of their inner anger . For example, in one study ,
the blood pressure measurements of the participants were taken before andafter they received instruction on how to let go of negative emotion. All the
people with hypertension showed drops in their blood pressure, both the
systolic and diastolic (the upper and lower numerical readings), once they
started letting go of the emotional pressure that they had built up over the
years. The Stanford University For giveness Project confirms the cardiac
benefits of relinquishing anger and resentment. In the program, parents of
children killed in the Protestant-Catholic violence in Ireland learned how to
let go of their bitterness toward the “enemy”; measurements of their cardiac
health and physical stamina showed significant improvement (Luskin,
2003). For giveness healed their hearts—literally . As we have said before,
with muscle testing we can prove instantly that anger and resentment have a
deleterious ef fect on the body , emotions, ener gy flow , and on the
synchronization of the brain hemispheres. Anger kills the angry person, not
the so-called “enemy .”
The mind would like us to think that there is such a thing as “justifiable
anger ,” which takes the form of moralistic indignation. If we look at
moralistic indignation, we will see that it is propped up by vanity and pride. W e like to think how right we are in a situation and how “wrong” the other
persons are. W e get a passing cheap little satisfaction out of that, but our
muscle-testing proves what the cost is to our overall emotional and physical
economy . The price we pay for chronic anger and resentment is sickness
and premature death. Is this worth the small satisfaction of being right? The cost that we are willing to pay in these kinds of circumstances is
sometimes surprising. Let’ s say we have a situation in which we made a
loan to someone who has never paid us back. W e have a chronic resentment
about it and, when we meet the person socially , we say as little as possible. If we get honest with ourselves, we will likely see that we are getting
satisfaction out of our being right and the other person’ s being wrong. In
fact, we are enjoying it so much that a part of us really doesn’ t want him to
pay of f the debt because, then, we would no longer be able to enjoy the
secret pleasure of making him wrong. This was precisely true in a case
involving several hundred dollars. The inner decision was made on the part
of the lender to be honest about all the little satisfactions of being right, and
making the other person wrong, and then to surrender on each one of these
ego payof fs. Clearly , the ego payof fs were blocking the other person from
repaying the loan. W ith continual surrender , the whole deal was totally let
go, and a shift was made to view the loan as a gift. Admittedly , this otherperson had really needed the money . Why not simply see it as a gift and let
go of the expectation of repayment? Now , instead of resentment,
gratefulness predominated because there had been the opportunity to help
another human being in a moment of real need. W ithin 48 hours, a check
arrived in the mail for the entire amount with a note of apology for the
delay in repayment! This experience and many like it demonstrate how we are all
psychically connected. The internal position we hold about another person
is forcing them to adopt a complementary defensive position. It is,
therefore, not Pollyanna to for give and for get, but a reasonable recognition
of emotional realities. The inner -actions between human beings are
determined by the configurations of the vibrational ener gies that their
emotions are radiating into space. The ener gy of the vibration, and the
thought form with which it is associated, create a readable record. Although this common, everyday experience is hardly news to most
women, who in our society are characteristically more intuitive, it comes as
a shock and surprise to a lar ge percentage of men. In our society , men are
characteristically left-brained and given to reason and logic rather than
intuition, which is characterized as a right-brain function. As we continue to let go of negativity and bring about inner emotional
healing, there is a greater balance between left and right brain function. The
intuitive faculty is also available in men; they are often pleasantly surprised
as they begin to recognize its emer gence. It is satisfying and surprising to be
able, instantly , to “read” a situation that was totally baf fling to reason and
logic. The ideal situation is to form a working hypothesis with intuition and
then to use reason and logic to check it out. This, of course, of fsets the
anger that arises from misunderstanding and miscalculation, and it increases
the skillful mastery of emotions. Another thing that dissipates anger is our mere willingness to
relinquish it. W illingness is our overall decision to find a better way , to stop
relying on anger , and to move up to courage and acceptance. This
willingness already starts the process of relinquishing anger . As students of
the martial arts are well aware, anger indicates weakness and vulnerability;
it is seen as a tool that we are handing to our opponent. W e can see from
muscle testing why this is so. The angry person has already lost half his
muscle power and has, therefore, lost the split second timing that is so
decisive to victory in hand-to-hand combat.It is so prevalent in our society to include the propensity to anger as a
male “macho” attribute. W e hear people swelling with pride as they relate
how they “told that guy of f.” W e can ask ourselves, “Who needs enemies? Isn’ t there enough negative influence in our life without adding one more?”
Especially when we look at the fact that all emotions generate a vibrational
ener gy in the universe, what is the point of surrounding ourselves with
negative thought forms about those we view as enemies? Why go out of our
way to hold onto them as enemies by stockpiling resentments and negativity
in ourselves? Likely , when we review our own personal experiences, we
will see that the ef fort involved in converting people we once considered
enemies into friends brought gratification and a later reward. In most cases,
they proved to be a positive benefit to our life. W e never know whom, in a
later chapter of the book of life, we are going to need as a friend. W e need to be aware that we have unwittingly become “injustice
collectors.” The media reports are full of this form of chronic resentment. W e see “injustice collecting” in international relations where making the
other nation “wrong” is actually a primary objective. W e are unconsciously
programmed to believe that “injustice collecting” is “normal.” In contrast to
this habitual pattern, which is destructive and weakening, the letting go
technique frees us from keeping close account of the “wrongs” made
against us. Our time and attention are freed up to see the beauty and
opportunity around us. Anger is binding, not freeing. It connects us to another person and
holds them in our life pattern. W e are stuck in the negative pattern until we
let go of the ener gy of anger and its little payof fs of righteous indignation,
feeling wronged, and the desire for revenge. It may not be exactly the same
person who constantly recurs in our life. If not that person, then others will
appear who have the same quality that triggers our anger and resentment. This will keep recurring until we finally handle our inner angriness. Then,
suddenly , people with that quality disappear from our life. Therefore, anger
may force someone to be physically distant from us, but psychically it binds
them to us more closely , until we fully relinquish the anger and resentment. Relinquishing anger brings us many benefits. W e are free to experience
emotional comfort and ease, gratitude for the daily opportunities to grow
and heal, mutual caring with another without subtle “strings attached,”
improvement in health, and more life ener gy . These breakthroughs allow us
to move up to a more ef fective and ef fortless state of inner freedom. CHAPTER
9
P R I D E
In common parlance, pride is often thought to be a “good thing.” However ,
if we take a good look at it, we will see that, just like all the other negative
feelings we have discussed so far , pride is devoid of love. Consequently , it
is essentially destructive. Pride may take the form of over -valuation, denial,
playing the martyr , being opinionated, arrogant, boastful, inflated, one-up,
haughty , holier -than-thou, vain, self-centered, complacent, aloof, smug,
snobbish, prejudiced, bigoted, pious, contemptuous, selfish, unfor giving,
spoiled, rigid, patronizing, judgmental, and in milder forms, pigeonholing. Intellectual pride leads to ignorance, and spiritual pride is the main
block to spiritual development and maturation in everyone. Religious pride
by self-identification with the righteous and “having the only true way” is
the basis of all religious wars, rivalry , and dismal occurrences such as the
Inquisition. The biggest downfall of all is religious pride and considering
oneself entitled to kill others who don’ t share one’ s specific beliefs. In all of us, the prideful feeling, “I have the answers,” blocks our
growth and development. It is interesting that the egotistical part of the
mind is willing to sacrifice the whole remainder of a person for its own
sake. Rather than admit to being wrong, people will literally give up the life
of the body itself and sacrifice any aspect of life on the altar of pride (e.g.,
religious wars and crusades). Male pride about those programs that our
society considers masculine blocks the emotional and psychological inner
development of most men in our society . Some women are now joining theranks of chauvinism, which only compounds the problem and intensifies the
battle of the sexes. V ulnerability of Pride
The prideful person is constantly on the defensive because of the
vulnerability of inflation and denial. Conversely , the humble person cannot
be humiliated for they are immune to vulnerability , having let go of pride. In its place, they have an inner security and self-esteem. Many people try to
substitute pride for genuine self-esteem; however , genuine self-esteem does
not actually arise until pride is relinquished. That which inflates the ego
does not result in inner strength. On the contrary , it increases our
vulnerability and overall level of fear . When we are in a state of pride, our
ener gy is dissipated by the constant preoccupation with defending our
lifestyle, vocation, neighborhood, clothes, year and make of car , ancestry ,
country , and political and religious belief systems. There is a tireless
preoccupation with appearance and what other people will think, so there is
a constant vulnerability to the opinions of others. When pride and self-inflation have been relinquished, there is an inner
security that takes their place. When we no longer feel called upon to
defend our image, criticisms and attacks from others diminish and finally
stop. When we let go of our need for validation or to prove ourselves right,
then the challenges against us fall away . This brings us to one of the basic laws of consciousness: Defensiveness
invites attack . An examination of the nature of pride facilitates the letting
go of it, as it is no longer valued. It is seen for what it is, in truth: weak. The
dictum, “Pride goeth before a fall,” prevails. Pride is thin ice, a poor
substitute for that rock-like, real strength that comes from courage,
acceptance, or peace. Is there such a thing as “healthy” pride? When we talk of healthy pride,
we are referring to self-esteem, an inner awareness of one’ s true value and
worth. This inner awareness is dif ferent from the ener gy of pride. Self-
awareness of one’ s true value is characterized by lack of defensiveness. Once we have consciously contacted the truth of our real beingness—the
nature of our inner self with all of its true innocence, greatness, and nobility
of the human spirit—we no longer need pride. W e just know what we ar e ,
and this self-knowledge is suf ficient for us. That which we truly knownever needs defense and is dif ferent from the ener gy of pride that we are
discussing in this chapter . Let’ s look at some of the kinds of pride with which we have been
programmed and see how they bear up under examination. Pride of family ,
pride of country , and pride of accomplishment are typical examples that
come to mind. Is pride really the loftiest of human emotions? The very fact
that it is characterized by defensiveness proves otherwise. When we have
pride in our possessions or in some or ganizations with which we identify ,
we feel obligated to defend them. Pride in our ideas and opinions leads to
endless ar guments, conflict, and woe. A higher feeling state than pride is that of love. If we love  all of the
things noted above (family , country , accomplishments), that means there is
no question of their worth in our mind. W e no longer have to be on the
defensive. When true recognition and knowledge replace opinion, which is
part of pride, there is no room for ar gument. Our sheer love and
appreciation for something is a solid position that cannot be assailed. Pride, because it is a vulnerable position, always implies that
somewhere there is a doubt that needs to be cleared up, and the opponent
quickly centers on that doubt. When all doubts have been removed,
opinions and pride disappear . There is a subtle inference of apology in
pride, as though the thing in itself was not good enough to stand on its own
merit. That which is worthy of our love and respect hardly needs an
apologist. Pride infers subtly that there is room for debate and that the
worth of something is open to question. When we truly love something and, thereby , become one with it, it is
because we see its intrinsic perfection. In fact, its “faults” are part and
parcel of its perfection, for all that we see in the universe is in the process of
becoming. In that process, its perfect evolution is part of that perfection. Thus the half-unfolded flower is not an imperfect flower that needs defense. On the contrary , its blossoming is proceeding with precise perfection
according to the laws of the universe. Likewise, each and every individual
on the planet is unfolding, growing, learning, and reflecting that same
perfection. W e might say that the unfoldment of the evolutionary process is
proceeding precisely according to cosmic laws. One of the drawbacks about the position of pride, as we have said, is its
vulnerability . V ulnerability then invites attack; therefore, in society , we
witness that prideful people draw criticism, and their vulnerability is whataccounts for the saying, “Pride goeth before a fall.” In the biblical account,
it was Lucifer ’ s pride that was his Achilles’ heel, despite the great standing
that he had acquired. Humility
The attempt to suppress pride out of guilt simply does not work. It is not
helpful to label the ener gy of pride a “sin” and to suppress it in ourselves
out of guilt, to hide it, or to pretend that we do not experience it. What
happens is that the ener gy subtly takes on a new form, known as spiritual
pride. W e do not feel comfortable in the presence of those who are prideful;
therefore, pridefulness blocks communication and the expression of love. Although we love those who are prideful about specific accomplishments,
we love them in spite of their pride and not because of it. Feeling guilty about pride as a spiritual sin only locks it in and, as we
have said, is not really the answer . The real answer is merely to let go of it
by examining its true nature. Once we see pride for what it is, it is one of
the easier emotions to surrender . T o begin with, we can ask ourselves:
“What is the purpose of pride? What is its payof f? Why do I seek it? For
what does it compensate? What do I have to realize about my true nature in
order to let pride go without a feeling of loss?” The answer is rather
obvious. The smaller we feel within, the more we have to compensate for
an inner sense of inadequacy , unimportance, and valuelessness by the
substitution of the emotion of pride. The more we surrender our negative emotions, the less we will rely on
the crutch of pride. In its place, there will be a quality that the world calls
“humility” and that we subjectively experience as peacefulness. T rue
humility is distinct from the paradox of “pride in one’ s humility ,” or “false
modesty ,” seen frequently in the public arena. False modesty is the pretense
of self-diminishment with the longing that others will recognize the
accomplishments that one is so proud of, but too proud to brag about
openly . T rue humility cannot be experienced by the person who is said to
possess it, because it is not an emotion. As we have said before, the truly
humble cannot be humbled. They are immune to humiliation. They have
nothing to defend. There is no vulnerability and, therefore, the truly humble
do not experience critical attacks by others. Instead, a truly humble personsees the critical verbalization by another person as merely a statement of the
other person’ s inner problems. For instance, if somebody were to say , “Y ou
think you’re pretty good, don’ t you?,” what the truly humble person would
see is that the other person has a problem with envy , and the question has
no basis in reality in the first place. There is nothing to be of fended by and
no need to react. In contrast, for a prideful person, this question would be
viewed as an insult and lead to hurt feelings, verbal comeback, or even a
violent end in some cases. Joy and Gratitude
Because pride is sometimes seen as a motivator of achievement, what
would be its higher level substitute? One answer would be joy . What is
wrong with joy as the reward for successful achievement, rather than pride? Pride carries with it the desire for recognition from others and,
consequently , there is a vulnerability to anger and disappointment if it is not
forthcoming at some point. If we achieve a certain goal for the pleasure,
enjoyment, love of accomplishment, and the inner joy that it brings to us,
we are invulnerable to the reaction of others.
_OceanofPDF.com_Letting_Go_-_David_R_Hawkins.txt
Summarize the following text section accurately and concisely. Maintain specific details and numerical information, and use anti-repetition mechanisms:

        The real truth is that, as we go
within and discard one illusion after another, one falsehood after another,
one negative program after another, it gets lighter and lighter. The
awareness of the presence of love becomes stronger and stronger. W e will
feel lighter and lighter. Life becomes progressively more ef fortless. Every great teacher since the beginning of time has said to look within
and find the truth, for the truth of what we really are will set us free. If what
is to be found within ourselves were something to feel guilty about,
something that is rotten, evil and negative, then all the world’ s great
teachers would not advise us to look there. On the contrary, they would tell
us to avoid it at all costs. W e will discover that all of the things the world
calls “evil” are right on the surface; they are right on the top, as the
superficial, outer thin layer. Beneath these errors is mistakenness. W e are
not rotten—only ignorant. As the quantity of guilty fear and the ener gy accompanying it are
relinquished, we will notice that physical diseases and symptoms begin to
disappear. The capacity to love ourselves in the form of increased self-
esteem returns and with it comes the capacity to love others. Being freed
from guilt brings about a renewal of life ener gy. This can be dramatically
witnessed in many people who are converted through religious experience. The sudden freedom from guilt through the mechanism of for giveness isresponsible for thousands of recoveries from serious and advanced diseases. Whether or not we agree with their religious concept is immaterial. What is
important to notice is that the alleviation of guilt is accompanied by a
resur gence of life ener gy, well-being, and physical health. When it comes to healing ourselves and increasing our own emotional
health, it “pays to be paranoid. ” W e become aware of all the guilt-mongers
in our life and their deleterious influences. W e can ask ourselves, could we not achieve the same motivation or
behavior out of love rather than out of fear and guilt. Is guilt the only
reason we don’ t stab our neighbor. Why couldn’ t it be that we would refuse
to stab our neighbor because we love and care for him as a fellow human
being who is intrinsically innocent and who is struggling to grow, but may
make mistakes along the way just as we, ourselves, have done. W ould not
following religious teachings, whatever they are, be more ef fective if done
out of love and appreciation, rather than out of guilt and fear. W e can ask
ourselves, what do we really need guilt for anyway. What possible service
do we get out of it. Are we so miserably stupid that we behave only out of
guilt. Are we so unconscious. Cannot consideration for the feelings of
others replace guilt as a motivation for appropriate human behavior. As we examine these issues and look at their social origins, we see that
the Middle Ages are far from over. The Inquisition has merely taken on
newer and subtler forms of cruelty. W e have unwittingly bought into a
system of negativity that is currently running the planet. T o make wrong
and to make guilty is really a form of cruelty, is it not. W e have allowed
others to program us with methods of self-torture, and we can see that we
have retaliated by inviting others to torture themselves in return. W e have
allowed ourselves to be manipulated by guilt, and we turn it around and use
that same mechanism of guilt to try to exploit and control others. The degree to which we have not allowed ourselves to experience the
reality of our true Self is represented by our resentment toward those who
have actually done so. W e resent their aliveness in the areas in which we
feel disabled. This sobering truth is represented by the story of the man who
walks along the beach and comes upon a fisherman with a pail full of crabs. He says to the fisherman, “Y ou’d better put a cover on that pail or the crabs
will get out. ” “W ell, no,” said the wise old fisherman. “There is no need for
that. Y ou see, as one crab crawls up the side of the pail to get out, the othercrabs reach up and grab him and pull him back down. So there’ s no need for
a cover. ”
As we keep letting go, getting lighter, and becoming freer, we will,
unfortunately, see that the nature of the world is like that pail of crabs. And,
then, the full extent of its negativity becomes apparent. When we become
totally aware of the bill of goods that we have been sold, it is very likely
that we will feel anger and a strong desire to become liberated from the
constraints of negativity. CHAPTER
7
D E S I R E
This emotion may range from a mild wanting to an obsessive, driven
craving for something or someone. It is also expressed as greed, obsession,
hunger, envy, jealousy, clinging, hoarding, ruthlessness, fixation, frenzy,
exaggeration, over -ambition, selfishness, lust, possessiveness, control,
glamorization, insatiability, and acquisitiveness. “Never satisfied. ” “Never
enough. ” “Must have. ” The underlying quality of this emotion is its
drivenness. When we are at the ef fect of desire, we are no longer free. W e
are controlled by it, run by it, enslaved and led about by the nose by it. Here again, the essential point of freedom is whether we have chosen
consciously to fulfill a certain want, or whether we are just being blindly
run by unconscious programs and belief systems. Desir e as an Obstacle
There is often a lack of understanding of the function of wanting and desire. The main illusion is seen in the statement, “The only way that I’ll get what I
want is by desiring it; if I let go of my desire, then I won’ t get what I want. ”
Actually, the opposite is true. Desire, especially strong desire (e. g. ,
cravingness), frequently blocks our getting what we want. Why is this so. Actually, the way something comes into our life is
because we have chosen it. It was the result of our intention, or we made a
decision for it. It has come into our life in spite of desir e. The desiring was
actually the obstacle to its achievement or acquisition. This is because
desire literally means, “I do not have. ” In other words, if we say that wedesire something, we are saying that it isn’ t ours. When we say that it isn’ t
ours, we put a psychic distance between ourselves and what we want. This
distance becomes the obstacle that consumes ener gy. The impossible becomes possible as soon as we are totally surrendered. This is because wanting blocks receiving it and results in a fear of not
getting it. The ener gy of desire is, in essence, a denial that what we want is
ours for the asking. This is a dif ferent way of looking at achieving goals than the one we
are used to from the programming of our world. W e are used to picturing
ambition and success as being associated with hard work and the classical
“Protestant ethic” virtues. These include self-sacrifice, asceticism, great
expenditure of ef fort and endeavor, keeping our nose to the grindstone,
tightening our belt, buckling down, and all the grimness of hard work. When we look at this whole picture, it sounds arduous, doesn’ t it. W ell, it
is. It involves struggle, and the struggle results from the block we have put
in our own way because of desire. Let’ s compare the arduous lower consciousness way of achieving goals
with a higher state of consciousness in which we have acknowledged and
let go of the desire, and are in a freer state. In a freer state, that which is
chosen manifests in our life ef fortlessly. W e surrender the emotion of desire
and, instead, merely choose the goal, picture it lovingly, and allow it to
happen because we see that it is already ours. Why is it already ours. In a lower state of consciousness, the universe
is seen as negative and denying, frustrating, and reluctant. It is like a bad,
stingy parent. In a higher state of consciousness, our experience of the
universe changes. It now becomes like a giving, loving, unconditionally
approving parent who wants us to have everything we want, and it is ours
for the asking. This is creating a dif ferent context. It is giving the universe a
dif ferent meaning. Although the world may be stingy and hostile to other people, there is
no reason why we should buy into this paradigm. When we buy into it, we
make it that way in our own life. As we experience the letting go of desires,
we begin to see that what we have chosen will come into our life almost
magically. “What we hold in mind tends to manifest. ” As was said before,
during times of supposed high unemployment, some people are not only
employed but have two or three jobs. This was a shockingly new way of looking at the world when it was
first encountered. There was the hope that it was true, but also a skepticism
that said, “This just isn’ t possible on a pragmatic level. ” A strict “Protestant
ethic” background made it hard to believe; nonetheless, the willingness was
there to be open-minded enough to give it a try. Here was the initial
experience with letting go of desire. Personal goals were written down, followed by a letting go of the
desire for them. It sounds paradoxical but that is the process: identify the
goals and then let go of wanting them. One goal that had been held in mind
for several years was an apartment in New Y ork City, because work
commitments required a lot of commuting and money spent on hotel rooms. A small apartment in the city—a so-called pied-à-terr e— would be the
economical solution. “Apartment in New Y ork City” was written down as a
goal. When utilizing this way of achieving goals, we include all of the
details, as impossible as they may seem to the rational mind to achieve. So,
the ideal apartment was detailed: reasonably priced, on Fifth A venue in the
70s block, right next to an entrance to Central Park, at least eight or nine
floors up and in the rear so that the street noise would be minimized, and
not any bigger than about two and a half rooms. The next day at work, it was busy as usual, with a big caseload,
meetings, and patient visits. In between the meetings and patients, the
feeling of wantingness for the apartment would be acknowledged and let
go. And, as the day progressed, the apartment was actually for gotten. At
4:30 P. M. , after the last patient, there was suddenly the impulse to drive into
the city. Despite the fact that it was ostensibly rush hour, the road was clear
and the drive took only half an hour. The car cruised to about 73rd and
Lexington, pulling up to the nearest real estate of fice. Rather magically,
there happened to be a parking space open right in front of the real estate
of fice. The real estate of ficer, upon hearing the tongue-in-cheek
announcement that an apartment on Fifth A venue was desired, looked with
surprise and said, “W ell, you are certainly in luck. Exactly one hour ago we
listed the only apartment for rent on all of Fifth A venue, at 76th Street, on
the ninth floor. It’ s the rear apartment, two and a half rooms, and the rent is
reasonable (rent-controlled at $500. 00 a month). It has just been painted and
you can move in any time. ” So we walked over and viewed the apartment. It fit the description of the goal exactly. The lease was signed on the spot. Thus, within 24 hours of trying the letting go technique on a specificpersonal goal, the goal was a reality. It had been something that was almost
impossible to find, and yet it happened exactly as pictured, ef fortlessly, and
with no negative emotions. It was an easy and joyous experience. This is not an unusual experience but a typical one, because in this case
the desire was moderate and could, without much ef fort, be totally
surrendered. By being totally surrendered, this means that it was okay if the
apartment happened, and it was okay if it didn’ t. Because of being totally
surrendered, the impossible became possible, manifesting itself ef fortlessly
and rapidly. W e can all doubt this mechanism and look back at things that we
wanted and that were achieved through ambition, desire, craving, and even
obsessive, frenzied wanting. The mind says, “W ell, what if I had let go of
the desire for those things. If it weren’ t for the desire, how would I have
gotten them. ” The truth is, we could have gotten them anyway, only
without anxiety (fear of not getting), without all the ener gy expenditure,
without all the ef fort, without all the trial and error, and without all the hard
work. “W ell. ” the mind says, “if we got it ef fortlessly, how about the pride of
achievement. W ouldn’ t we have to sacrifice that. ” W ell, yes, we would
have to relinquish the vanity of all that sacrifice and hard work that we put
into it. W e would have to give up the sentimentality about the self-sacrifice
and all the pain and suf fering we went through to achieve our goals. This is
a peculiar perversion in our society, isn’ t it. If we suddenly become
successful almost ef fortlessly, then people are envious. It really annoys
them that we didn’ t have to go through all kinds of anguish, pain, and
suf fering to get there. Their mind believes that such anguish is the cost that
must be paid for success. Let’ s look at this belief. If it weren’ t for the negative programming that
made us believe otherwise, why should we go through any cost of pain and
suf fering to achieve anything in our life. Isn’ t that a rather sadistic view of
the world and the universe. Other blocks to the achievement of our wants and desires, of course,
are unconscious guilt and smallness. Peculiarly, the unconscious will allow
us to have only what we think we deserve. The more we hang on to our
negativity and the small self-image that results, the less we think we
deserve, and we unconsciously deny ourselves the abundance which flows
so easily to others. That is the reason for the saying, “The poor get poorerand the rich get richer. ” If we have a small view of ourselves, then what we
deserve is poverty, and our unconscious will see to it that we have that
actuality. As we relinquish our smallness and revalidate our own inner
innocence, and as we let go of resisting our generosity, openness, trust,
lovingness, and faith, then the unconscious will automatically start
arranging life circumstances so that abundance begins to flow into our life. Having—Doing—Being
As we free ourselves out of lower states of consciousness such as apathy
and fear, we come into wantingness. What was formerly an “I can’ t” and
impossible now becomes possible. The general progression of the levels of
consciousness, as we go from the lowest to the highest, is to move from
havingness to doingness to beingness. At the lower levels of consciousness,
it is what we have  that counts. It is what we have  that we want. It is what
we have  that we value. It is what we have  that gives us our self-image of
worth and position in the world. Once we have proven to ourselves that we can have, that our basic
needs can be fulfilled, that we have the power to provide for our own needs
and those of others who are dependent upon us, the mind begins to become
more interested in what it is that we do. Then, we move to a dif ferent social
set in which what we do  in the world is the basis of our value and how
others rate us. As we move up in lovingness, our doingness is less and less
preoccupied with self-service and becomes more and more oriented to
being of service to others. As our consciousness grows, we see that service,
which is lovingly oriented toward others, automatically results in the
fulfillment of our own needs. (This does not mean sacrifice. Service is not
sacrifice. ) Eventually, we become convinced that our own needs are
automatically fulfilled by the universe, and our actions become almost
automatically loving. At that point, it is no longer what we do in the world but what we ar e
that counts. W e have proven to ourselves that we can have what we need,
that we can do almost anything, given the willingness. And now what we
ar e, within ourselves and to others, becomes most important. People now
seek our company, not because of what we have, not because of what we do
and society’ s labels, but because of what we have become. Because of the
quality of our presence, people just want to be around us and experience us. Our social description changes. W e are no longer the person who has afashionable apartment or big car or a bric-a-brac collection, nor are we
labeled as the President of the So-and-So Corporation or a member of the
Board of Directors of some or ganization. Now we are described as a
splendid person, as somebody whom people just have to meet, just have to
know. W e become described as a charismatic person. This level of beingness is typical of self-help groups. In self-help
groups, no one is interested in what others do in the world or what they
have. They are only interested in whether or not we have achieved certain
inner goals, such as those of honesty, openness, sharingness, lovingness,
willingness to help, humility, genuineness, and awareness. They are
interested in our quality of beingness. Glamour
Glamour is a very useful subject to understand. Once we understand it, it
greatly facilitates the letting go of desires. The book called Glamour: A
W orld Pr oblem  (1950), by Alice Bailey, presents the whole subject expertly. If we look at something that we want, we can begin to distinguish
between the thing itself versus the aura, patina, flash, and attractive
magnetic ef fect of a quality that can best be described as “glamour. ” It is
this disparity between what a thing is in itself, and the glamour that we have
attached to it, which leads to disillusionment. So often we have chased
some goal and, then, when we have achieved it, we are disappointed. That
is because the thing itself does not coincide with our pictures of it. Glamour
means that we have attached sentimentality or we have made it bigger than
life. W e have projected onto a thing a magical quality that somehow leads
us to believe that, once we acquire it, we will magically achieve some
higher state of happiness and satisfaction. This happens very often with vocational goals. The man works year
after year striving to become president of the company or become important
and prominent in some other way. When he gets there, he expects to
experience all the satisfaction and the glamour associated with that level of
achievement: the kowtowing by employees, the flashy cars, the prominent
of fice, the labels, the titles, and the exclusive addresses. But what he finds
is that all of these things are superficial. They are very inadequate
compensation for the agonizing ener gy drain and daily grind that, in reality,
the position necessitates. While he pictured that he would get admiration,
what he often finds at the top levels is viciousness, competitiveness, envy,and the endless fawning and dishonest manipulations that occur to people in
power, including the paranoid attacks by competitors. He finds that his
ener gy is so drained that he has no ener gy left over for his personal life; his
relationships are impaired. His wife complains that he is too exhausted to
make love, too depleted to give her the ener gy she needs, too worn-out to be
a good father, and too tired even to enjoy a favorite recreational activity. The same thing occurs with women in the traditionally feminine areas
of achievement. A woman thinks, for instance, if she gets a certain designer
dress for the party that the dress is going to bring her attention, adulation,
and admiration, and that it will win her a certain social status. W ith much
sacrifice, she spends a great deal of money and ef fort on the dress, running
back and forth for fittings. But what happens. At the dinner party, there are
a few passing comments on her dress and that’ s the end of it. Nobody
dances with her any more than usual. She is not more prominent than she
was before the party. No more genuine attention is paid to her than
previously. She gets some hostile, envious looks from other women who
recognize what she probably paid for the dress. During the evening, she has
the usual ar gument with her escort, and they go home in the car barely
speaking to each other, the same as in the past. As women make gains in the corporate and political arenas, they face
the disappointment that accompanies longed-for, glamorized leadership
roles in the public. What was predicted to enhance prestige and esteem
instead brings criticism, envy, and hostility—even from other women. The
experience of achieving their goal is often not what they thought it was
going to be. There is endless judgment of a woman’ s public persona and
dress, and she may have the gnawing feeling of inner worry that she has
failed her family by going for professional fulfillment. “W inning” is
sometimes not as liberating as glamour would want us to believe. Emotional goals are also glamorized by sentimentality and
emotionalism. A certain excitement is projected onto the emotional event
(e.
Life becomes progressively more effortless, and the awareness of the presence of love becomes stronger and stronger.
What is the result of letting go of guilt and negativity?
Guilt is not a necessary motivation for achieving goals, and it is actually a mechanism of self-torture that we have allowed others to program us with.
What is the purpose of guilt, and is it a necessary motivation for achieving goals?
The universe is not a negative and stingy parent, but rather a loving and approving one that wants us to have everything we want. We can choose to believe this and experience it as true.
What is the true nature of the universe, and how does it respond to our intentions?
The universe responds to our intentions and choices, and we can choose to use our power to create what we want, rather than being controlled by unconscious programs and belief systems.
What is the mechanism of the universe, and how does it respond to our intentions?
Letting go of desire and instead choosing what we want, and surrendering our negative feelings, allows us to achieve our goals effortlessly and with ease.
What is the key to achieving goals and desires without struggle and negativity?