Now this lady she parades round her shopping mall
She admires herself as she stands strong and tall
She window shops the jewellers but doesnt buy a thing
But somehow comes home all kitted out in Bling
She spends many a night gambling her benefits on strip poker
But loses the lot to her friend the pawn broker
She begs her future hubby, shes so desperate she'll rob
'If you want gems my love you'll have to go get a job'
Hes doing a stretch in prison - got hammered with 'life'
For selling his poor seventy five year old wife
She was the first bride that  he met on the net
But his obsession for bling got as hard as it could get
So he made out an advert  that said 'Lady of the night'
And put up her pic on that famous auction site
Now Earnest he sleeps with Babs pic by his bed
The magistrates have solemly granted they wed
But poor old Earnest Bling aint a penny to his name
So his dear fiancee Babs takes a job 'on the game'
Now the happy day arrives, her dress black and gold pleat
Along comes handcuffed Earnest -who has freezing cold feet
'Im jilting you darling Ive been foolish you see'
'Marriage is for life and I need to be free! '