If you believe that black is white
Do you know that you'd never be right
If you believe that short is long
Do you know that you'd always be wrong
If you believe that left is right
You might give yourself a great big fright
If you believe that front is back
You might give yourself a heart attack
If you believe that in is in fact out
You'd spend all your life living in doubt
If you believe that up is really down
You'd probably wear a puzzled frown
If you believe with all of your heart
That there is only one way you could possibly start
The day, with a lungful of tobacco smoke
Do you know you'd be part of a very sad joke?