I: Loss
It’s been three years that we’ve gone out
And now you chose to let me go
You crushed my dreams, you burnt my soul
—A picture that’s been torn apart
Your smile haunts my memories
The words you spoke still lingering
Among the crystal mist I breathe
—I wish that you were here with me
And love will never be the same
If you’re not here to hold my hand
I’ve tried so hard to let you go
—I’m sure you’re never gonna know
And for so long I know I’ll mourn
Because of love that lives no more
You ripped my heart with shards of glass
And all the blood gushes out fast
Our love was once a rainbow
But now it is a raging storm
And blue had made me think of peace
—but now, it makes me mourn
The waters upon which we laid
Were troubled by the raging waves
The lifeboat just had room for one
And so you’ve thrown me overboard
And now you have become old news
And somehow, still, I’m feeling blue
The night has set upon our love
I should’ve known what was to come
Routine is now routine no more
The days drag on. Condition: poor
My heart still beats, but without you
It’s empty—I drank all of you
I wish I didn’t waste my time
With what would never end up mine
Why fate has slapped me in the face
—by taking all my joy away?
II: Grieving
Tears fall slowly to the ground
The dripping melancholy sound
An empty room, a broken heart
The pieces scattered in the dark
I lay upon this empty bed
The lust once strong was struck down dead
The hope that once made me believe
You’d never leave a girl like me
—gone…
So many ways I could repress
So many ways to harm myself
Somehow, the pain makes me feel good
—it makes me think it hurts you too
But I know you don’t feel a thing
You don’t care that I am hurting
You have moved on, forgot three years
While I still wish that you were here
The brightest mornings, now so dark
—The empty echoes of my heart—
The eyes that hold such loss, despair
The pain in knowing you don’t care
The hottest showers give off no warmth
The couch does not give me comfort
The foods I eat— they’re bittersweet
Since you’re not sharing them with me
The pain courses through bloody veins
My cheeks cannot tell tears from rain
My dreams are merely memories
That now resemble fantasies
It seems I’ll never let you go
Each time I try, the pain just grows
I delve into my misery
—the future agonizing me
I’d give it all for one more kiss
Or that we’d never even met
—if only I could change the past
But in stone it’s forever set
I know that it has been too long
—I couldn’t help but keep holding on
When I was tossed, I grabbed the side
Holding on to save my life
IiI: Seasons
Season by season, day by day
I hold onto each memory
—The snow that melts, the clouds that fade,
The love that had to separate—
In winter— frozen
In spring, it thaws
But now it blends into a song
Instead of joy, it raises strife
The season’s now cause death, not life
The emptiness of nature, too
Means it too mourns, it is the proof
And once you chose to carry me
And now I walk alone.
And once you’d promised everything
The power you don’t own.
And as each movement freezes
It’s glacial doom it can’t avoid
I’ll find the strength that’s needed
To free me from this dreary void
Iv: Letting Go
As far as my brain understands
A life hangs between won’t and can’t
It’s balanced by the paths we choose
A delicate process we all must go through
To suffer merely is to live
No soul on earth is near perfect
Not every path we take is right
It’s just a given in this life
And if we have the need for joy
We must know what we’re striving for
We need the pain to know it’s bad
So we know joy is opposite that
Fate gave you to me
Taking you back at the end of three years
It seems so unfair in the state we exist
But what joy would life have if it lacked any twists
There’s always the bright side
—of which we never seem to see
We only see the bad side
Drifting far from near happy
We’re blind to the things that could brighten our soul
For we fear losing meaning to our current joy
And we turn our left cheek for a slap on the right
But the ending’s the same, for we’re all gonna die
If you’re going nowhere, then you’re standing in place
—the least you could do is attempt this one race
You’ll never succeed if you don’t let him go
You will not prove him wrong if you can’t stand alone
This man was no crutch, he was merely a wall
You lived without him once, there’s no difference at all
And pain and regrets
They just anchor you down
And it’s over— he didn’t catch you
Surely, he won’t pick you up off the ground
And you have to walk on
—walk on all on your own
For you’ll die in the ocean
If you have no lifeboat
But at the site of disaster
Help always is found
Oh! And soon, they will find you
It shouldn’t be long
And there’s more than one lifeboat
There’s five… ten… fifteen!
There’s plenty of room
And that’ll hear if you scream
V: Hope Floats
There’s hope found in the lifeboat
It isn’t the end
You get up and move on
—this life is precious, don’t waste a moment
You must take full control
Row the boat, with your oars
You’ve cried—already—a sea
There’s no need to cry more
Hope floats in the ocean
So get on the lifeboat
And now on your own
You can make your own path
And you won’t let him back
The memories you’ve purged are gone
The love you held is forever gone
But you are strong, you will survive…
Let go of him …—…—…—… Hope is alive.