You say you are lonely.
Are you? Come see MY solitary world.
I am lonely:
Not the ‘generally feeling lonely’ feeling –
You know, the ‘I need a cuddle 'cos I’m feeling a bit lonely today’ feeling;
Or the ‘I’m on my own today so I think I need to call up a friend’ feeling.
No, I mean the terror and depression of cold isolation;
That Black Hole of raw solitude;
The nadir you arrive at after a steady spiral downwards, inwards.
And suffocation by the blanket of social invisibility
Which insidiously greyed out your psyche without your knowing.
You know, when you alight on the platform of endless alcoholic days;
When you’re sprawled vacant and naked in the corner of your filthy room,
Oblivious to the scurrying life outside –
That which doesn’t acknowledge your existence anyway:
That’s lonely.
Copyright © Mark R Slaughter 2009