1. My Criterion For Success
You say you find merit in a theory that is based
on a meaningless universe, created by chaos -
quite by chance, inadvertently spawning life,
then intelligence; now that life is self-aware and
clever enough to study itself and realise it is
caught in a meaninglessness in a random universe
that will be destroyed one day, all life will become
extinct - leaving no trace of its passing in a material
universe – pray tell, what merit did you find? It
sounds like living hell… Is this theory the reason
for your defeatist attitude, calling the world bad,
society at large is going to pieces and life is not
worthwhile – and where’s the merit in that?
Why is it meritorious to think life horrible, to be
destroyed one day, having flickered just for a
short while in eternity? Is that why you wear
negativity like a black mantle around you? You
won’t take any chances, you say, you fear
taking risks, you made your philosophical bed
long ago – and now mean to sleep on it –
come what may – where’s the merit in that?
I prefer to know that all we think is based on
assumptions that one day will be overthrown,
therefore I choose the best theories and make
hope my own, I trust in tomorrow and expect
non-physical life after death, and should it not
happen, can’t cause me sorrow; I will have
had the happiest life that could be – and
that is my criterion for success!
2. I Will Try To
I did not expect to see a second-hand book-
shop in the latest new centre of shops but
suddenly – what should I see;
“The Atlantis Blueprint” A book written by
Rand Flem-Ath and Colin Wilson – the very
same subject I had settled upon as one for
my December Holiday – it gives me goose-
bumps – did the gods listen to my request –
they must have, to answer so literally.
I shall rewrite or summarise in long-hand all
holiday-long; I’m overjoyed, singing a song;
I’m so happy, you forgave me for being
obnoxious all week-end; I can dream my own
dreams, I have been given a second chance
to try and improve, and I will try to!
3. Karl Maria von Weber – Invitation to the Dance
And I couldn’t withstand it, the invitation to the
dance, I had to join in, dancing in my baggy pants
and I became the different characters, called
forth by every change of phrase, the pretty ladies
with wide dresses, the men with scabbards dancing
in a row, the flowers twirling slowly, the fairies
dancing in a circle, it was an operetta, I realised,
presented by young children - all dressed up and
dancing with their props, all was twirling, whirling,
then the short, strong movements of the “men”
advancing in aggression, the ladies with their elegant
strides, all turning circles, gliding round the stage –
then the stage became the kitchen, and I was back
again, happier than before, sure life must hold
some deeper meaning which I would find someday…
4. To A Special Friend
Thank you for listening
to me when the vastness
of space is spinning
such a fastness –
spinning in my head;
when I’m balanced
on a tightrope between
grey realities and colourful
eternities, living the
bubbles of fantasy;
your gaze steadies
my tread, helps me
to slow down, to stop
the kaleidoscope moving
in my Head,
to pull out a picture and
describe the view to you,
afford me a chance to see
the sights I always miss in
my fast flight between images…
5. A God On Earth…
I have always looked up to my big brother
to me he has always been a god on earth,
not grown-up, yet capable of doing everything
long before I could master it - he was
Different from everybody else – when he
consented to play with us, the younger ones,
the sun came out, the world felt safe, all
was right, and it happened so few times
My brother is more talented than others
and I’m scared of him, he knows my weak
points, my juvenile sins, he sees me within
a cloud of childhood sorrows and guilt
And I still see him as a god on earth...