Future Perfect
Two auld biddies gossiping
aboot their hubbies suffering.
My Albies plagued with aches and pains
Ye knaa he’s got varry close veins..
That’s aaful pet her friend replied.
With eagerness she could not hide
My Fred has a cardiac heart.
That’s bad enuff just for a start.
He has a gastric stomach too.
He’s hard to live with I tell you.
Aah dee me best as ye well knaa,
he’s only happy doon the bar.
Supping beer he shouldn’t have
he’ll drive me to an orly grave
Ye knaa hinny but for us
they’d starve to death Its curious.
Theres neither of them fit te work
Aah wonder sometimes if the shirk
but we gan on as women dee.
We have nee time to be poorly.
They said Tara and went their way.
They’d had their gossip for the day.
There’s hoosework waiting to be dyun
we get nee help from anyone.
His lordship likes to lie in bed
He’s like a bear with a sore head.
If Aah distorb him early on
before the noonday buzzers gone.
He gets up shouting for his grub.
His breakfast forst then doon the pub.
It hurts to see him suffer so
aah doot he hasn’t lang to go.
His funerals paid for at the store
that’s one worry aah can ignore.
Aah’ll be a widow woman then
Aah divvent think aah’ll wed again.
AAh’ll get mesel a bungalow
wi lace cortins in the window.
Aah have a black dress put away
ah divest wear it ivory day
Aah keep it by for funerals
it’s ower fancy for me gals.
Aah’ll wear it when they bury me
a sight Aah will not live te see.
AAh’ll be alone when Fred has gone
but dee me best to carry on.
Nee lazy man to bother me.
Aah think aah’ll manage easily.
8-Sep-08
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