as i close my eyes
a blackhole looms
this inner  world
a torment it brings
how far does it goes
each night as i sleep
where do i journey to
this dark realm
which for forty-five years
i have travelled each night
never reaching any place
sometimes it throws a dream
a dream where i am
but somebody different from i am
talking like an indian
sometimes it throws a dream
a dream where mom
keeps so quiet
in a never seen house
so much grander
yes, as i live on
i travel each night
in a black hoe
ticking away to a foreign land
year after year
a land which i could not grasp
but accept it with each of my breath
time keeps ticking away
each second, a second
nearer to the day of death
where perhaps i would continue
in this journey in the blackhoe
and perhaps find light in it
in two worlds
i travel, consciously
and subconsciously
in a ship that i control
and being controlled
the master and also the slave
i look into the night sky
and realise that
in this trip i am but
an observer of
a real world and imagined
a film where i partake
each day with no known script
i consider myself the greatest actor in this case
enacting each scene
with a full heart and soul
pain and all
perhaps somewhere out there
someone out there
is enjoying it all
the fact that i control as well as
is controlled by my own life, cells....