A friend is one who is like me,
or is it one who likes me much,
and maybe someone you can touch?
Perhaps a buddy who would be
in all dark alleys in your need
who'd fish you out of murky waters
and bandage when you slowly bleed
he will protect your sons and daughters
and close the shutters on your house
when rains come down to soil the drapes
a friend will never bring a mouse
or other things like living apes
to scare you out of any wits
that you may still possess today
he will collect you from the pits
and hug you even if you're gay
he'll pay your fare on the express
and go to jail to take your place
and cleaning up of any mess
that you've created, to save face
will all be done without  agenda
no thought of payment does come up
and should you have a fender-bender
he'll hide your bottle from the cop
when very strange ideas come visit
and you decide to pack a shute
to jump, a nut's idea, or is it?
out of an aeroplane you brute
he will be waiting on the ground
his arms wide open and so nervous
and when he hears the crucial sound
he'll think back to his airforce service
and knowing what can go awry
the fretting gets his teeth to clatter
and when you fruitcake finally fly
he murmurs that it doesn't matter
yet as you float in to a landing
his arms are still in catching mode
he'll hide his lack of understanding
and start composing a new ode
to your adventure,  you, the friend
and if your mother or your brother
or any other next of kin
should die and leave you, let another
example of true friendship win
your hand will never feel the cold
or loneliness of cruel fate
and when you wake and have grown old
and all the world is in a state
that narrows down to search of gold
and greed that tramples all that's good
when anarchy eats moral pillars
and thieves no longer wear their hood
when doctors have evolved as killers
and no one seems to give a shit
about all others, beast and man
when humans are no longer fit
your friend who also has his clan
will not be busy with his life
but shake your hand and not let go
and if he has his own sweet wife
he will be there with her in tow
One could go on for many hours
to praise what real friendship is
suffice to say it never sours
and also hardly counts as bliss.
Yet, there are just a few small matters
a friend will stand, no reservation
and if the world is all in tatters
if aliens would attack your nation
there is no compromise at all
and loyalty must be extreme
to share it one will surely fall
that kind of friend is just a dream.
I cannot have a friend who likes
those who have sworn to be my foes
and who would drive their filthy spikes
into my back, who also chose
to live a life of pure decay
and without honour in their hearts
to opportunism they pray
it must be said, it really smarts.
Perhaps a moral could be seen here
before you call yourself a friend
just ask yourself if you have been there
to read these words that don't offend
are you prepared to stand, be counted
no matter what the circumstance
and would you, if the devil mounted
all out attack, could you by chance
be trusted to the road's last bend
or would you stop and smell the flowers
and worry that your life may end
this kind of friendship only sours.
So let me say it with conviction
a friend is one who is your master
who rules within his jurisdiction
and keeps you out of all disaster
and you, in turn are his dictator
who, firm and strict, with iron fist
will rule like Arn the Terminator
I hope by now you get my gist.