somewhere in my darkness there was a spark
today it ignited rare thoughts of you
only seconds before....
I had stuck the cold barrel of a gun
directly beneath the gap in my front teeth
and into the far reaches of my
ninety proof alcohol drenched mouth
squeezing the cheeks of my ass tighter
so as not to blow my brains onto the floor
I steadied my trembling hand
wishing instead
to paint the walls and ceiling
with all that remained of my love
___a masterpiece for martyrs
my humanity
I had drained with my last piss
death was inviting me over
for one last drink of my own self pity
I was ready to accept its invitation
when somewhere in my darkness
there was that tiny little spark
which ignited rare thoughts of you
.....it was then I knew I didn't want to die
without you Bitch