I don't care for hair
If I was bare of hair, I wouldn't care
For if the weather isn't fair
I have hats and coats to wear
I see no need for this body fuzz
Oh, long ago, there maybe was
Before we knew what clothing does
Some say hair's their "crowning glory"
I don't buy that silly story
They wash and brush and curl and comb it
And some, with beer, they even foam it
They get it cut, they get it styled
Or maybe tease it up all wild
They bleach and braid and dye the stuff
They make it soft, they make it rough
I think that hair is just a pain
It gets in your food, it'll plug your drain
It hangs all down when it gets wet
With rain or snow or even sweat
As far as I can see
From this stuff we should be free
But, you might not agree
Most folks don't think the same as me
But, if you think that hair is fine
Then I wish that I could give you mine
For I'm not bare of hair
I have my share that I must wear
But if it should go, I wouldn't care
'Cause I don't care for hair