sitting at home in deep thought
medical help i had sought.
a case of depression is what they said
so i went home and went to bed.
i refused to believe that's what it could be
but denial is always first, as was told to me.
how is that possible? how can it be?
i've always been happy and carefree.
he had said:
i keep my anger bottled up inside
it is something which i learned to hide.
no two cases are ever the same
and there's no reason to feel ashamed.
depression is a state of mind
which affects your body all the time.
it will make me sluggish and tired
and wanting to hide.
i won't want to talk to anyone.
that is when depression has begun.
i may sit in a corner all by myself
wondering if i'm living in hell.
i feel as if life has turned its back on me.
but in my heart thats not what i see.
i start to ignore the way i look
and the toll that its took.
then i take a good look in the mirror
'and what do i see'
everything that was told to me.
i see my face completly withdrawn
and the appearance that i formed.
i see all my loved ones that i've hurt
including the wife that's giving birth.
i realize then that i can not do it alone.
that i must seek the help that i need
to stop this inner bleed.
i fell down to my knees
and asked the LORD to hear my pleas
to give me the strength to do my best
and for him to do the rest.
as i got up from my short prayer
i heard a voice say in my ear.
'help yourself and i will help you'
thats all you have to do.