know what?
to have my own baby
is really an obsession
i made an attempt
w/ a young puerto rican
(now in her 37 yrs)
divorcee in 2006;
she got preggy in 2008
but had a miscarriage after 12 wks! ;
Felt proud but angry!
We ended up the affair last 2009 Feb;
Moved to Chicago Aug 24/10;
filed divorce in Jan/11/11(WIsconsin):
Final judgment last June 10/11;
Now back to solo flight....
(oh the pangs of pride and anger!)
...I want my life to be an open book;
some kind of legacy to
and for the coming generation -
religious and otherwise;
the 'don't follow' kind of thing;
I have an 'open secret' hurting
and disgusting experience
w/c affected my self-formation
and outlooks!
It's an open secret because
the last to know about it is my family!
Not even my own deceased father (6/5/2005)
knew about what happened to me
after they sent me to the parochial high school
in nearby town!
It's what I called a 'betrayal of trust! '