Their fake smiles surround me.
I’m on the outside looking in.
Because I didn’t take wear the right clothes.
Well I think its time to spread these wings.
You never helped me.
You never listened to what I had to say.
You never made me feel good.
You made me feel like dirt.
But still I call you my friend.
I’m going through this with you.
But it feels as though I’m alone.
I can’t call you when he’s leaving.
His bags all packed.
Because he has found a better more perfect family.
So as tears flood my eyes.
They pour down my cheeks leaving puddles on the floor.
Barely being able to speak.
I reach for the phone.
Dialing your number.
Trying to reach someone to tell me everything will be fine.
Reaching out before I die.
Pulling that trigger with the barrel pressed against my head.
I finally get you.
And yet you tell me just to go to bed.
Pain and hurt rushes over.
I’m alone.
There’s no one here to talk me to sleep.
No one to help me through.
I’m stuck here in hell.
To never return back.
Can’t you just lend a hand.
Someone please help.
As I think that it is over.
I’ve watched betrayal from my father.
And I don’t want you do to the same.
Finding a more perfect and better friend.
Because I was there for you when your grandma died.
Now I’m dying but your not here.
I need you to be here.
Beside me.
Making me feel better.
But no your not.
Because I’m your old friend.
Im sorry that I didn’t wear the right clothes.
I didn’t have the ins.
I’m not sorry that I was your friend.
You were like a sister.
But now you won’t even open up your arms to me.
I feel hopeless.
This trigger is pressed even harder to my skull.
Just.Pull.The.Trigger.
This house has come crashing down.
The lies.
The tears.
The screams.
Why won’t you just say 3 little words.
Everything.
Is.
Ok.
This is my last cry for help.
Just reach out.
As I’m reaching out now.
I’ve given you all the signs.
And you know too.
But you won’t reach for me.
I’m going.
Slowly I’m going further to that black hole.
Why can’t you just help?
Goodbye.