You pull into a car park
and they spring out of nowhere.
“Do you want your car washed
while you’re doing your shopping?
We do not charge a lot.”
My answer is no.
“Sorry mate but my car is under scientific study.
I am an insect- ornithologist.
I study bird droppings and insect splatters.
I get out every night with my tweezers,
take the remaining bits off,
and put them in a specimen jar.
I am also going in for
the dirtiest car of the year award.
I have won it three times already.
So you see my car does not need a wash thank you.”
They look at me somewhat strangely
before they go on their merry way.
Therefore, the next time you pull into a car park
and someone wants to wash your car.
Just tell them you are an insect-ornithologist
engaged in a scientific study.
They will never understand what you mean.
They might think you are somewhat strange,
but you will save yourself a packet.
Now that ain’t strange, that is wise.
(22 July 2007)