This constant pain I’m not sure I can take it..
these consolatory words are enough to break me..
“just be stronger”…  and you’ll make it..
“think happier” and your internal world will change it…
there is no cure there is no treatment…
when I smile it’s because I fake it…
I want to see the last day through as someone who was there and unshaken..
I hide my feelings bury my tears..
tell them all there’s nothing to fear.. “I’m going to make it”..
but inside my lungs burn and my capillaries cry.. an iron rich fluid..
I know because too often I taste it..
“take a deep breath and calm your mind”…
sounds so serene and tranquil..
but as I breathe my lungs scream trying to expand against this ever tightening rubber band..
when finally it’s too much and my face is about to betray the pain that ravages and consumes my brain..
I move to deflate these natural balloons with such a horrid fate…
struggling to move these scores of molecules through airways that feel no bigger than a hair…
and as if this wasn’t already enough the medical bills pile up…
the vampire system reaches for the last clean slate you thought you’d save in case one day they told you you’re safe..
but it’s too late the trapper’s snare’s already determined your fate..