My life seemed picture perfect with a loving wife and son, with a bun in the oven my life had just begun.
But my head couldn’t leave the pillow, getting out seemed too hard to swallow, I knew something major in my life really needed to be done.
When the warm embrace of death surrounds your tired soul.
My mind was outside my body and my head was full of fog.
I went to the doctor, I went to the shrink, and every one of them told me that I had to have a long think.
Do I want a life of shallow thoughts that were hidden by beer and pain, or do I want to be the person that I used to be again?
Strangers thought that I was self centred and emotionally inept. But what it was I really desired was love and self respect.
For so long I endeavoured to wear an emotional mask but the duration of time has eroded the comfort of this façade.
My persona had vanished, I was unable to make a decision. This uncontrollable process, devoured me of fulfilling my vision.
If I wanted to help my family, then first I needed to help myself, I checked into a specialised clinic, ashamed, disillusioned, and under a wrath of stealth.
I found the counselling a godsend, the nurses full of wit and charm, this empathy had a positive effect and restored my former humility and calm.
The loved ones in my life couldn’t understand and see, that at this point in my life the focus had to be me.
You don’t have to feel this way, you don’t have to feel like you can’t get help. You don’t have to wallow in your own misery just to find a sense of self. Help is available  in many different ways. Ownership of your state of mind, is the most difficult step to take.
Take pleasure in life’s subtle things, and acknowledge every success, place your self in the hands of experts, and you will benefit without duress.
I learned that life really was worth living, no matter what my state of mind. The deeper I looked inside myself the more demons I would find.
My thoughts were full of paranoia, of hatred and of fear, all my thoughts came from a cloud that was lodged between my ears.
When you’ve lost your job or can’t go to work and there is nothing to look forward too, when you’re too anxious just to leave the house and there is nothing you feel you can do. The future feels so helpless it seems like nothing could make it right. If sleep is non-existent and your thoughts keep you up all night.
I promise you will get better, just give help a chance, you may not see it clearly now but soon you’ll get up and dance. Dance with all your family, dance with all your friends but more important than anyone else dance within your self.
By Peter Bouboulos and Nathan Lea