h regarding yourself it was not a choice but rather a necessity. if you could have avoided it you would not have done so. your leaving him was a choice on your part and you are to blame for harming yourself and bringing about your own death.
ح عن بذلك نفسك لم يكن اختيارا بل كان اضطرارا ولو أمكنك ألا تبذلها لما بذلتها، وتركك لقاءه اختيارا منك أنت فيه ملوم لإضرارك بنفسك وإدخالك الحتف عليها.