perhaps to preserve that chastity he married nama at an early age and she was the wish of the wisher and the ultimate beauty in character and manners. he was her fathers excuse so her loss was tragic because it brought to light what he had concealed in his soul of latent romantic intensity that he had previously concealed with approval familiarity and affection. these were no longer sufficient to stem the overwhelming tide of sadness flowing from his soul so he remained after that for seven months without bathing and he was in continuous crying although he was known for the freezing of tears due to his addiction to eating frankincense as he says to treat his heart palpitations. he did not enjoy life after that nor did he enjoy anything other than her nor did he forget to mention her. one thing that loss could not shake was his faith in chastity. what made him more steadfast in that was his taking his teacher abu ali alhusayn ibn ali alfasi as his role model. he was a righteous ascetic man and perhaps he was chaste and did not marry. ibn hazm said god benefited me greatly through him and i learned the place of wrongdoing and the ugliness of sins. yes his heart kept beating whenever he saw beauty and he would draw near until he almost yearned for it. and the one whose love was rejected would return to him and the one whose love was forgotten would return to him but he would overcome his will and flee away.
ولعله صونا لذلك التعفف تزوج نعما في سن مبكرة، وكانت أمنية المتمني وغاية الحسن خلقا وخلقا وكان هو أبا عذرها فكان فقدها فاجعا لأنه ابرز إلى العيان ما انطوت عليه نفسه من حدة رومنطيقية كامنة كان يداريها من قبل بالاستحسان والألفة والتودد، فلم تعد هذه كافية لصد تيار الحزن الجارف المتدفق من نفسه، فقد أقام بعدها سبعة أشهر دون أن يغتسل، وهو آخذ في بكاء متواصل، رغم أنه معروف بجمود الدمع بسبب إدمانه أكل الكندر على ما يقول لمداواة خفقان القلب، ولم يطب له عيش بعدها ولا أنس بسواها ولا نسي ذكرها؛ شيء واحد لم يستطع ذلك الفقد أن يزلزله وهو إيمانه بالتعفف، ومما زاده رسوخا في ذلك اتخاذه استاذه أبا علي الحسين بن علي الفاسي نموذجه الأعلى، وكان رجلا صالحا ناسكا، ولعله كان حصورا لم يتزوج، قال ابن حزم فنفعني الله به كثيرا وعلمت موقع الإساءة وقبح المعاصي نعم ظل قلبه يخفق كلما شاه جمالا، وكان يقترب حتى يكاد يصبو ويثوب إليه مرفوض الهوى ويعاوده منسي الغزل ولكنه كان يغلب الإرادة فيفر مبتعدا.