我所追求的生活 that m st be the story of inn merable co ples, and the pattern of lifeof life it offers has a homely grace. it reminds yo of a placid riv let, meandering smoohtly thro gh green past res and shaded by pleasant trees, till at last it falls into the vasty sea; b t the sea is so calm, so silent, so infifferent, that yo are tro bled s ddently by a vag e neasiness. perhaps it is only by a kink in my nat re, strong in me even in those days, that i felt in s ch an existence, the share of the great majority, something amiss. i recognized its social val e. i saw its ordered happiness, b t a fever in my blood asked for a wilder co rse. there seemed to me something alarming in s ch easy delights. in my heart was desire to live more dangero sly. i was not nprepared for jagged rocks and treachero s, shoals it i co ld only have change-change and the exicitement of nforeseen. 这一定是世间无数对夫妻的生活写照,这种生活模式给人一种天伦之美.它使人想起一条平静的溪流,蜿蜒畅游过绿茵的草场,浓荫遮蔽,最后注入烟波浩渺的汪洋大海;但是大海太过平静,太过沉默,太过不动声色,你会突然感到莫名的不安.也许这只是我自己的一种怪诞想法,在那样的时代,这想法对我影响很深:我觉得这像大多数人一样的生活,似乎欠缺了一点儿什么.我承认这种生活有社会价值,我也看到了它那井然有序的幸福,但我血液里的冲动却渴望一种更桀骜不驯的旅程.这样的安逸中好像有一种叫我惊惧不安的东西.我的心渴望一种更加惊险的生活.只要生活中还能有变迁--以及不可知的刺激,我愿意踏上怪石嶙峋的山崖,奔赴暗礁满布的海滩.