barack obama white college girlfriend sheila miyoshi jager professor oberlin college tell story calculate man let race get way political ambition winter 86 visit parent ask marry tell garrow parent oppose less racial reason barack come across like white middle-class kid close family friend say concern obama professional prospect mother think sheila two years obama junior young yet sheila tell barack stay together.in early 1987 obama 25 sense change become ambitious suddenly tell garrow remember clearly transformation happen remember specifically 1987 year relationship already sight become president discussions race politics suddenly overwhelm sheila barack relationship marriage discussions drag cloud obama torment central issue life race identity sheila recall resolution black identity directly link decision pursue political career said.at harvard obama world come know take clear form late 20s slightly old classmates compulsion orate class summarize people arguments law school thing would vote obama would shut one student tell garrow classmates create obamanometer rank pretentious someone remark class garrow indeed correct conclude obama romantic choices influence political ambition small irony michelle obama become one skeptical obama political prospect dubious rise constantly discourage efforts toward elective office resent time spend away two young daughters obama vent friend often michelle would talk money go get good job lawyer make money need would tell couple struggle student loan demand family political life garrow side michelle highlight day sasha bear barack go downtown meet consider u.s. senate bid obama team commission poll cover among question name barry know childhood early college years poll good barack obama never consider resurrect old name make choice identity image long ago sheila recall one time obama become genuinely angry hawaii hear relatives call barry well fun become irrationally furious say tell circumstances ever use name go back.the sense destiny unusual among become president see clinton bill create complications obama believe call garrow write case couple heighten awareness pursue fully identify african american obama consider donald trump long either man presidency brush existence misguide national fantasy americans continue normative commitment ideals individual freedom mobility obama write old harvard book manuscript 25 years old depth commitment may summarily dismiss unfounded optimism average american may donald trump wait make children entire story washington post new biography expose barack obama dream become donald trump