chengdu china stepfather die pulmonary heart disease intensive care unit side country zheng yue rush airport catch flight see zheng nervous outwardly calm stride airport terminal pull carry-on bag look check-in counter trip important say never really know biological father die two mother second husband abusive mother leave husband good develop genuine feel father say feel pressure lay ahead family common worry among generation spring china one-child policy child mean line support whole family say zheng always show devotion family time mother marry third time zheng develop rebellious streak define much youth start cut class elementary school stay home watch tv middle high school climb school wall go internet cafes play video game find school bore grade show like go school go class immediately tire exhaust like hear lecture stuff say child mother try keep tight leash allow go alone boyfriends shelter world develop talent paint school award come time take college entrance exam test fine arts category easy path university china rigid system pick school zheng use map decide choose one far hometown dezhou shandong province branch university electronic science technology china chengdu 1,700 km 1,060 miles away really want break free fetter say college freedom class major animation bearable others chore soon skip class fourth year student land internship assistant interior design firm long date man work five years college still man graduate 2012 spend follow year without work live boyfriend waste year say time step society dynamism year great dare enough anything eventually find work interior designer often work midnight marriage children interest give traumatic childhood family life live boyfriend flat own hop able buy one tough proposition country property price keep soar discover life pressure get big big whether pressure outside kind come parent big pressure say stoic nod head say goodbye pass airport security next day tap wechat message friends father die today 11:37am ... word would meaningless young chinese rebel feel pull family tie