text: is it really love? a question for the guys....and girls....? okay i have been "friends with benefits" with this guy for the last four years. he and i talk everyday and i know i say friends with benefits, but we don't do it that often. and the problem is i'm in love with him. but he says he doesn't love me that i'm not his type..blah blah blah. but we talk everyday, and everytime i leave him he always pulls me back in. we haven't been intimate in a while and like he is acting as if he cares but i don't want to be stupid. if he gets a girlfriend, he always comes back to me, his relationships never last b/c of me. no matter who he is with, in the end its always about me. why does he do that if he really doesn't care?  i say this...i have had boyfriends and he gets jealous all the time. if i don't like his girlfriend he leaves her. if he doesn't call me one day he sends me an email letting me know why. i stop talking to him for a week, he always comes to me wondering why. if i leave him, yes it is really love!  i believe he really does love you, but is deeply afraid of commitment.  has he ever lost anyone who was very close to him, like someone in his family?  if so, this may be his source of a deep-seated fear.  he is most likely afraid of messing up a full-fledged relationship with you and is why he "stays close to you" but will not commit all the way.         if he only remains "friends w/ benefits" and you reject him he can convince himself "no big deal" we were just friends anyway.  but if you two are an exclusive item and you reject him for what ever reason, i think that the rejection would be far to devastating for him to bare.  so he plays it safe.  many men have the same fear of rejection we just don't show it.