text: i've been so down and confused lately? almost 2 1/2 yrs ago i had an affair that pretty much ended my marriage.  i'm not proud of what i did, nor am i happy.  i've been separated from my husband for over 2 yrs but we are not divorced.  he is extremely bitter towards me and spiteful.  he does not support our children anymore and barely sees them.  i try to be upbeat with him although he has verbally abused me for all this time.  he's convinced that i'm living a happy go lucky life now, while i have ruined his. (he's told me this several times).  i tell him i'm not interested in any relationships w/anyone and i'm very lonely and unhappy, yet he doesn't believe that.  lately, i've been wondering what it would be like if we were to try to reconcile, but then i think of all the hell he's put me through and how would he ever get over what happened in the past.  he's a good person but so angry and lonely i don't know what to do.   do i give us another shot for the sake of the kids happiness? i would like to say yes get back together, but its really not the answer, first you got to forgive yourself these things happen, and to be honest you can't have been in love with in the first place cos you would't have done it so no going back is not the answer, stop worrying about him he's a big boy now.. you need to look to the future with your kids thats the most important thing, bringing him  back for the kids sake won't work he'll just throw it at you all the time and it will course fights and thats not good for either you or the kids.. you need to move on, let him insult you as much as he likes, it does't matter what he think's  , he's your ex!  go meet someone who you really love... leave the past were it belongs in the past!!! being lonely is better than being unhappy and lonely