text: help!  i been married 5 yrs my husband has developed a bad drug habbit. he needs me but i cant do it. help!?   i'm so sorry to hear about your husband.  i also feel for you and your situation.  here's my advice:  1. find a male friend of his, a councilor or possibly your pastor that he can work with to solve his drug problem.  you did not cause this problem!! and you cannot solve this problem! read those two lines again and again.  realize that you do not believe these two absolutely true lines.    2. stick by him by allowing him to take responsibility for himself.  there is nothing wrong with telling him you love him and wish him well in his own recovery, but that you will not be the one to get him off drugs.  3. do not stand for any abusive yelling, name calling, or threats!  you do not deserve this type of thing and no one does.  do not stand for this for one second!  4. you may need to move out temporarily so that he can put his life back in order without blaming you.  do not do this in a moment of anger, but in a moment of love.  tell him you have faith in him and you will be there for pleasant phone calls.  but remind him that you cannot solve his problem.  5. you may need to council with your pastor or with a professional so you can understand the truth of the situation.  6. you need to repent to your husband for 1) allowing him to manipulate and talk unkindly to you and 2) for trying to shield him from the consequences of his actions.  these things have made him less able to change.  good luck my friend.  j