text: why do you men cheating when you already know you have something good?   there are two or three kinds of cheaters. the worst kind, and i know several, are the immature selfish type who seem to need to prove to themselves over and over that they "still have it" or somehting like that. then there is the guy who loses it once or twice. men who travel a lot, and women, get very lonely at night. hard to describe but i've been there. the porn industry makes a killing by selling all kinds of adult programs to hotel travellers. they really miss home ... the wrong situation, the wrong time, perhaps there was an angry exchange with the wife ... some hot babe walks into the bar and sits next to him ... it happens.   the third kind is the guy or woman who has been in a loveless marriage for years. there is a nice house, kids, community life and all kinds of great things that came from the marriage. but somewhere along the way the romance died. husbands and wives spend so much time battling over emotional territory, work so hard to get what they want out of the marriage ... lots of wives offer sex as a reward for good behavior. it seems to work so well that they never give it away for free, lest they lose that leverage. husbands may in turn stop doing anything unless they get a reward for it. sick, i know, but those of you who've been married for a long while know what i'm talking about. the husband or wife who "cheats" on that marriage is usually desperate for genuine intimacy. love that doesn't require a high score on the report card. the women who use the vagina as a wrench aren't terribly happy, either, and are just as likely to be seduced into the "cheat."  it is a sad state of affairs. unfortunately, the young immature guy or gal who cheats early on for selfish reasons pretty much destroys the trust needed to find real intimacy. he or she will wind up at an early age in the third kind of loveless marriage.   the key, i think, is to never use sex for leverage. never!!! it is a shared intimacy that only the two can share. if you want a new car or tennis bracelet, just ask. amaze him with your passion and give him a place of emotional refuge at home. he will be so grateful that he'll bring home gifts on his own. those are the best kind.