text: dominating mother in law? every other day my wife comes and tells me something that we should do or not do just cause her maa said so. whom should i confront, my wife or her mother ? first your wife, explaining to her that while her mom is right on some things, there are other things that you would like to have in your own way. if that doesnt work, confront both of them together when you get a chance to be with them together. confronting your mom in law alone wouldnt be a good idea, cos' she may tell your wife that you are accusing her of things she hasnt the slightest idea on.   what does she come and tell you 'to do and not to do' ?? are they major decisions of your life together, or just simple things like what to buy around the house, shopping, or some other small issues. either way, i know it might be tiring. when you do confront your wife, simply ask her if she ever thought how you feel certain things should be done, and without accusing, make her understand that it is really tiring when you have to always listen and do things her mom tells you both to do - always.  p.s. i agree with pathfinder. assertiveness is good in situations like this.