text: wife vs. mother what to do??  please adult men/women responses? i am in a unique position, i dont think my mother has accepted that i'm married for one, and she doesn't care for my wife. we are currently all staying together until my wife and i save enough $$ to get our place..the tension is thick! your wife comes first.  moms are wonderful and we should respect them but at the point you marry someone they become number one in your world.  you make it clear to your mom that while she may not care for your wife she will treat her with respect if she wants to continue to be a part of your future life.