text: why does past memories haunt my life?   because they are unresolved.  you havent properly gotten the closure you need for them.  talk to a therapist who can help you do this.  i am adding to this.  please, i beg of you to find a good therapist.  you are in major need of it.  i just about started crying when i read your addition.  i know you dont trust anyone but you are reaching out here which is a little start.  talk to your minister, school councelor, therapist, anyone.  just start talking!  you really need to get this resolved or it will continue to fester inside you and eat you alive.  it can also end up affecting any relationships you may have and that of your childrens.  please, please, please.  i am so very sorry for what you have gone through.  my prayers are w/ you.