text: born again christians: adoption advice? my wife is pregnant with what i believe is another mans child.   as born again christians, my wife and i believe abortion to be murder and like many others we believe that abortionists should be killed for what they do.  since we cannot consider abortion, we want to get rid of the child right away after it is born.   i want to make sure it goes to some born again christians who know right from wrong, decent folk like us.  we do not have much time to go through a long process of papers and whatnot because we have a vacation in florida already booked for the week following the birth.  is there some place we can dump the baby where it is guaranteed to go to a born again couple, no questions asked?  any ideas people? assuming that there is some sort of church social planned for your congregation in the near future, you have two options open.    the first (and somewhat more devious) is to surreptitiously place the child on the buffet table, wrapped up like a basket of brown and serve rolls (note, it is important to do this after the food in the surrounding area has been cooked, and not in the kitchen cue).  when the banquet  is finished, and people are busily trying to snag leftovers and steal each others cookware, the brat will likely end up in the back seat of some good christians car... problem solved.  the second, and somewhat more straightforward approach involves that most holy of church ceremonies...  i am referring of course to bingo.  by placing the child in the winnings vault at the next bingo get  together you can not only assure that the kid will be won by a good christian individual, but that the lucky winner (having claimed the rug-rat publicly, in front of the other members of the congregation) will not be able to return said infant at a later date.