text: i am looking for new and interesting ways to start a church service. just some new service starter ideas.? like different activities to have the congregation participate in as a way of beginning a service. i once worked at a catholic seminary and the students would spend 4 years there before they were assigned. one day one of the graduates returned for a visit and told me this story.  he had been assigned to a small, somewhat remote church and served under an elderly priest named father john. father john always performed the sunday servcies, except during his rare absence, where on such occations the seminarian would be required to perform the services. it wasn't long before one such day came where the church requested father john's presence at a gathering. the seminarian became nervous, having never been in front of the congregation by himself. father john assured him that all would be fine and to simply rely upon his teachings. even so the seminarian remained uneasy as the date was soon approaching.   the seminarian had chosen a teaching and had prepared for his big moment. wanting to review this with father john, again the priest simply reassured him that all would be fine, except to be warey of "mother green". father john explained how mother green was an outspoken and confrontational nun who had apparently given father john some difficulties over the past. the seminarian became more nervous than ever. "who was this mother green and what problems could she possibly present?"   in the end, father john came down with a cold and decided not to travel to the meeting. however, feeling ill, he kept the seminarian on the task. the seminarian could not shake his anxious worry, desparately hoping to do a good job and for all to go smoothly, while this warning of mother green loomed in the back of his mind.   sunday finally arrived. as the seminarian stood above, the congregation entered the church and found their seats. father john sat quietly behind the seminarian in the shadows reading and studing an old book. the seminarian watched each person as they entered the church, wondering if suddenly he might recognize someone who matched his mental image of the mean mother green.   just before 10:00 am, at the last moment a tall, young, veluptous black woman entered the church. she wore a scandalous low cut top that exposed more than ample cleavage and a short, short mini skirt. she walked down the center isle and sat in the front row, directly in front of the seminarian and spread her legs. the seminarian was freaking out. this woman was wearing no panties. suddenly it hit him! could it be??? the seminarian leaned back, turned his head toward father john and whispered; "is that mother green?   the priest replied; "no, i think it's just the way the light's hitting it."  true story...swear to god!