text: i have been verbally abused and sexually abused as a child..very insecure? want to be more positive and happy! i was sexually abused for over 10 years as a child, by my step father.  he and my mother are still together, the family finally knows all about the abuse.  i have been verbally abused in the past, and cant seem to be positive.  i have good and bad days.  my husband is awesome, and supports me the best he can.  i hate being angry and negative all the time.  i know im a happy and fun person...they have all made me feel so insecure about myself. i have tried counseling. i am a stay at home mom, with our 6 month old son and three school age children too.  i just dont get "my" time.  i love our marriage and children.  how can i be a more postive parent and spouse? sorry about the abuse thing -- but you found a nice guy anyway -- good for you.  you will feel less stressed if you do indeed find some time just for you.  but that is tough.  raising 4 kids is draining even if you wanted all of them.  don't you have a mom in law who will take them for awhile?  have you thought of day care, just a day or two per week.  having time to be by yourself is really important, even if you have to pay a ton for it. and make sure you plan a date once in awhile with your husband, where only you and he are together.  get away for an overnight trip, even if it is just in a local motel, with some champagne cheese and crackers.... raising kids is not cheap -- finding time to be by yourself or with your husband isn't cheap either, but you two need to reconnect once in awhile to remind each other who you each are.