text: how can you tell a friend in an assertive, but not mean way, to return something to you? one of my friends is always borrowing my things (such as my cute socks or my gloves, nothing big. she`ll eventually give it back but not after i nag and nag her. even then, it takes her forever to get it back to me and she always makes exuces why it`s so late. how can i tell her in an assertive, but not mean way, to return my stuff? the next time she asks to borrow something, say "we'll see. i'd be more inclined to lend it to you if you returned my (insert borrowed item here)." or, you could just be completely up-front with her and say, "i never mind lending you my things, you just seem to have a problem returning them. could i ask you why?"