text: how can i become a trangender and not be gay?   i think the difficulty in answering your question is that the term 'gay' is more a form of personal identification than it is of social identification.  if you are physically a man who considers himself a woman, but is attracted to men, he may not consider him/herself gay, because on the inside, he is a female.  whether or not you're gay or male or female is defined by you and not by society.  anthropologically speaking, male and female is purely speculative.  if you are unsure who you are or how you view yourself, i would definitely put any sort of surgery on the backburner.  that's one of those mistakes that is not easily remedied.  just determine what 'gay' means to you, what gender you are and then you'll have your answer.  furthermore... remember that if you do determine that you are gay, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.