text: funny bumper stickers? bumper stickers  * conserve water - shower with a friend * don't drink and drive - you might hit a bump and spill it. * don't drink and park - accidents cause people. * keep america beautiful, swallow your beer cans. * if money can't buy happiness, i guess you'll just have to rent it. * drive defensively, buy a tank. * i used to think i was indecisive, but now i'm not too sure. * famous last words: don't unplug it, it will just take a moment to fix. * famous last words: what happens if you touch these two wires tog-- * famous last words: don't worry, it's not loaded. * everything i need to know i got from watching gilligan's island. * it doesn't matter how hard you've studied; the material won't be on the exam anyway. * sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me. * if it doesn't fit, force it; if it breaks, it needed replacement anyway. * reality is a figment of your imagination. * life is just one of those things. * don't use force; use a bigger hammer. lol cheek dis out  my hockey mom can beat up your soccer mom  all men are animals, some just make better pets some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.  all men are idiots....i married their king.  ever stop to think, and forget to start again?  consciousness: that annoying time between naps. make yourself at home .....clean my kitchen i thought i wanted a career, turns out i just wanted a paycheck  whisper my favorite words: "i'll buy it for you." adults are just kids who owe money.  who are these kids and why are they calling me mom?  i'm just driving this way to get you mad. keep honking, i'm reloading. hang up and drive. i said "no" to drugs, but they just wouldn't listen.