text: i am marriedis it cheating if i have oral sex with a man, and wife doesn't know? i love my wife. but i find men more exciting sexually. i have been having oral sex with men since the week before my wedding. my wife caught me looking at gay porn online and she wants to leave me. i don't want to lose my family, wife and kids. but i can't seem to help myself around men. i think it is cheating no matter what sex they are.  i think you might very well be gay and the love you have for your wife is genuine, but  you might be using your marriage as a front because your afraid of the truth being exposed due to peoples reaction in your life.that isnt fair to her or your children, better they know now than later , being gay in this day and age is no big deal at all.  what is a big deal is hurting the people you love.