text: i suspect my husband could either be gay or bisexual,he obviolusly tries to hide it from me,but last week? i discovered he had put up an ad on the internet looking for men,we have never talked about this,he is in no way a pervert or anything,its just that he is keeping this side of hi secret,which bugs the hell out of me,i dont even look at him the same way ii did before.i would like to confront him,or atleast get him to talk to me about it,without coming off as being sneaky or anything,please hel,how do i do this????? if he is actively looking for men, there can be little doubt he would like to at least explore bisexuality.  you definitely need to talk to him about it; this is far too big an issue to let pass.  how you deal with it depends greatly on your attitude toward bisexuality.  your marriage is your marriage and there must a resolution that will make you both happy.  i would recommend you ask him to see a marriage counselor with you.  *not* because there is anything wrong with being bisexual, *nor* because there is anything wrong with your reaction.  a counselor can often help facilitate discussion that might get bogged down between the two of you on your own, and help you reach resolution.  i wish you luck, and if you need someone to talk to, you may email me.  i would gladly discuss more with you in a private manner.  (i am married and bisexual.  my situation will certainly differ from yours, but i'm a good listener if you need one!)  .