text: i have to make a decision to move or stay i don't know what to do? the man i love is 450 miles away where his job moved him. we are not married and i have a 16 yr old daughter he wants us to move there but i have to pull her out of a school that she loves. he says he can't afford to drive back and forth because of the high cost of gas and he just can't stand saying goodbye to me. i am afraid if i don't go this time (i have made several attempts to go and can't seem to get there) he will say its over. i have driven there 4 times in 7 months to see him but he will not come here because he "can't say goodbye to me again". help! i was in a similar situation.  although my bf (now husband) never gave me an ultimatum.  we flew back and forth for a year.  i took my sons (20 & 15 at the time) to visit during spring break.  then we talked about what they thought about moving, well at least what my 15 yr old thought.  then we made the decision to move as a family.  we waited until summer and moved a few weeks after school was out.  that gave him time to learn the new area and make some new friends.  this move was only for 2 years, my husband was active duty military.  the town was terrible, the school was worse.  i eneded up home schooling my son, until we could move back home.  he hated the place and we did have some decipline problems, that promptly went away when we moved back home.  but we got through it, i am happliy married and he starts college in the fall, on a scholarship.  make sure your daughter knows that you will not move if she really doesn't want to, but also tell her your reasons.  i guess the moral to the story is, make the decision as a family and then you have to live with the results.