text: its my birthday on monday - suggest a fantasy present that you would get me - im going to be 39? i like to be pampered - so be imaginative i'd pick you up in my ferrari and drive like a madman to the chopper that's parked outside buckinghame palace, where the queen has been standing for 1 hour (in the cold with just her slippers & cardie on) waiting to wave you off.  after hovering above a few streets throwing large denomination notes to passers by we zoom off to our lear jet, parked at heathrow, where a brass band plays a farewell to you.  on board we party like hollywood celebs whilst we fly to our private island (just off miami - i had it specially built).  once there we spend a few hours playing elephant polo with european royalty to relax, perhaps having a swim in the solid diamond pool filled with expensive champagne.  then, after a vigerous rub down from brad pitt your whisked off on the back of a harley davidson (ewan mcgregor driving this time) to las vegas where we blow a couple of million in the casinos.  after arriving in tokyo a few hours later (party all the way)on concorde (which i had specially re-instated for a one off flight, compliments of the british government), the time life magazines top 500 most influencial people sing happy birthday to you, whilst a tv screen shows george bush and osama bin laden shaking hands and agreeing that your birthday has ushered forth a new era in world peace, whilst the pope tap dances in the background holding a card saying 'god bless you and your birthday'.  as a small finale the citizens of the middle east form the words 'god bless this day, happy birthday' in candle light.  oh yeah, and george clooney would appear to you in the firework celebration in the form of a large animated display, portraying him giving you a movie style kiss.  whilst you were watching that he would secretly be getting your name tatooed on his arm and trying to gather the guts to ask you out on a date.  how does that sound?