text: for married people: what makes you more angry? the affair or the lies about it?   the lies, the fact that someone i trusted didn't think they could or wanted to do the work needed to build a great marriage.  i'd say it's either the lies or the death of the your dream of who your spouse was, or the hope that your marriage would get better.  i was angry at myself for my mistakes, and angry at her for her lies, deception and manipulation.  the blame-shifting angers me too.  sorry, i couldn't nail it down to just one ;)