text: why do women (usually) never say what they want and never want what they say? it is usually women who do this, but i know that men are just as bad.  i've found a woman (colleague, nothing special) who said she wants a really sweet guy and all that.  she's now seeing some bad boy stoner.  why do people do that? people are trained from birth to feel that they are not worthy to have what they really want and that they are selfish if they go after it, so they tend to settle for what they think they deserve and live thier lives in misery.  it takes a lot of self confidence to say 'i want a great guy' and then turn down the guys who are not up to scratch. 'what if i really deserve a loser?' 'what if no great guy will have me or i never find him?'  is what people are thinking.