text: how do i know if my best friend is gay without asking? my best friend for a long time has been acting kind of strange lately. he has always acted feminine at times but not overboard. but latly he has started crossing his legs like a woman and just not like he used to. this is all kinda hard to explain when i dont know wat to think. it wouldnt bother me if i knew he was gay but it bothers me that he is my best friend and may be keeping a secret from me.thanks for any advice u can give. i just dont really wanna ask hime so i was wondering if there is a way to tell. i think oh velveteen is right. just tell him that you've noticed him acting a little peculiar lately, and ask him what's up. if he wants to know what you're specifically talking about, you could be honest with him or just tell him that you can't put your finger on it (the second would be my preference). hopefully he will come clean, if there is anything to come clean about. some men are effeminite without being gay, and your friend could be one of those men.   anyhoo, good luck, and i hope it goes well!