text: what do you gay men mean when you say i'm a top only? i'm assuming that is related to the only way you have sex.  seems to me that a real homosexual would do it all ways.  so a top only will only date a bottom only?  god that would suck! it's like saying, i'm a hairdresser, but i don't cut hair, i only wash it.  anyway, i've always wondered what you guys really ment by a "top only" if a gay man is a top only, it means he will not receive anal sex, he will only give it. this can also mean that he will only recieve oral sex, he will not give it.  sometimes it reflects a man's personal tastes (just like some heterosexual men don't like giving oral sex and some do), but other times it can reflect on the feelings he has on what it means to be a 'real man'. there's a stereotype that "real men" don't receive anal sex or give oral sex to another man, that doing those acts are demeaning and degrading and only for [insert derogatory slang term for gay men here].  there's another twist to this. if a man is on the "down low", a phrase that african-american men use to talk about being a closeted gay or bisexual (often times even closeted to themselves), and about the gay sex they have in these situations, then for some reason they believe that if they only top, then they're not gay or bi.  i hope this helps.