text: if your mate of 6 years starts phoning a "part of the family"? my mate has started phoning a person who is supposed to be a part of the family (really just a childhood friend) and keeps it a secret - i found out - why is he so secretive if she's family (by the way they have slept together in the past)what would you do? doesn't sound too good. talk to him. if he is reluctant to answer you, then you need to tell him that. explain what is bothering you so that it doesn't seem that you are getting upset over nothing. you have a reason to question what is going on becauseof the fact that he has slept with her in the past. he would be suspicious too if the roles were switched. if he keeps getting defensive even when you are open about your worries then you need to put your foot down because he shouldn't be keeping things like this a secret from you... bottom line... he wouldn't be defensive if there was nothing to hide.