text: how do you tell someone that you've been with for 18 yrs that you dont love them anymore? i've been with my husband for 18 yrs now we have 3 kids and things havent been good between us. i feel outta love with him for some time now but i dont know how to tell him. its been hard because i dont feel dat connection anymore what can i do? try to reconnect with him by thinking of the reasons why you got together with him in the first place. if you still don't want to be with him, you should know the best way to tell him because you have been with him for 18 years. it's going to hurt him, but it's up to you to decide if it's worth staying or leaving.