text: my fiance has an ex wife uses their children to get back at him. need some advice please.? my fiance's ex-wife is constantly using the kids as an excuse to have him wrapped around her finger. like, she told him if the kids were to be around me, that he would never see them again. things like that. and he loves his children very much and so do i. but she can have any guy she dates around them but yet i can't be. that isn't fair. my question is will this ever stop? why dont they have joint custody? no this will not end untill he gets joint custody. i feel bad for you cause i know you must love this guy and now you cant see him cause then he will not be able to see his kids. that is an awfull spot to be put in . i would hate it . but anyway see if you can get him to go and file for joint custody and then you should be able to see him any time you want. good luck and god bless an dhappy holidays.