text: how do you make yourself sound ill to your boss on the phone when you are pulling a sickie?   set your alarm for 3:00 a.m. then call the office and leave him a voice mail.  no way your voice can sound anytihng but "ill" at 3 a.m. when you've just aroused from an obnoxious alarm clock.  tell the boss you've been hugging the toilet all night and no way you can make it into work.  flush the toilet just at the end of your message, for effect.  that done, go back to bed and enjoy your day off.