text: is it true that if i fart at the speed of light on a spaceship ...? that my farts will disipate after my grandchildren on earth are dead ? i must know because the great spaghetti monster has told me so. or maybe it was the voices in my head. or maybe i'm just making it up. but probably not.  also, if i slap my salami on sad spacecraft will it end up in my face if i do not turn on the inertia dampeners ?  god i'm stoned. my momma told me about guys like you.