text: is it true that if i dont say then my husband cannot make out if i m virgin? i wanna try sex with someone...but dont wanna marry him...will my husband get to know if i and that guy wont say anything?? generally a woman's vagina stays "tight" until she bears a child.  tearing through the hymen of a woman is the tell-tale sign of loss of virginity and being penetrated for the first time by a man's penis.  some women already have a torn hymen from sports, activity, or pleasuring herself with objects placed in the vagina as teens.  the absence of a detectable hymen is not evidence of prior sex.  you will have some discomfort when a man enters your sex for the first time.  if it is a while between partners, a new partner will likely cause a little discomfort again, even if you are not virgin because you are being somewhat stretched to accomodate his girth...like using muscles again for the first time after a long break.  also the diameter of his penis may make this less or more of an issue.  some narrow penises don't cause the same stretching, while a thick penis stretches the vagina more.  remember though, the vagina can stretch enormously to fit a baby's head through it, so you will not encounter a penis that "doesn't fit" for the diameter of it.     choosing to have sex is another issue.  if you are certain about your choices and make sure that the choice you make is your own, not a man pressuring you to let him put his penis inside you, then losing your virginity when and to whom you want to is your business.  sex is like walking.  we can do it naturally, but we get better at it once we have walked a ways.  and no one can really tell how many walks we've taken previously by looking.      being naive about positioning your body for penetration, about the experience and the response it brings to you, and about how timid you are about having a man penetrate you will tell a partner more about your past sexual experiences than your vagina and hymen will.     whatever you decide, and whenever you choose to become sexually active, be sure to be safe (avoid rape and assault risks) and be sure to protect yourself from pregnancy and sexaully transmitted infections (make him wear a latex condom every time).  and when it happens for the first time, enjoy!  welcome to the club.