text: i'm in a relationship with a great guy...i know he loves me but he's holding back....help!? i was married for 20 years my husband passed away 4 years ago.i've been dating this guy 2 years(he's lived with me 1 year)i have kids he loves them they like him he helps me with money and chores he's a great guy i know he loves me but i think hes afraid to commmit. i want to move on get married start a new life i dont know if he can do that i think hes holding back. he wants to take things slow. he says we dont really know each other.how long does it take to get to know someone?i'm not getting any younger.should i "wait and see"?or just move on and find someone who feels the same way about me as i do them?i dont want to waste any more time but i dont want to give him up.i dont feel that he loves me with all his heart.can i live with that?or will i end up unhappy for the rest of my life? help!! i think you really have to ask yourself if you are truly unhappy with things the way they are? i know that you would like to feel a 100% commitment from this guy, but if he's shying away, perhaps you really don't need anything more than what you already have. i feel that in most instances, to make a relationship work demands communication, and if you tell him what is important to you and he doesn't want to acknowledge your needs, then that isn't a relationship as much as getting comfortable with someone. the guy sounds like a keeper who is just looking to stay away from going thru a hassle of a wedding (don't try telling me weddings aren't a hassle). i am not a doctor, but i sometimes feel the same way about my girlfriend. maybe she's a little too wrapped up in her life to truly notice what i am looking for. we've been together for 10 years and still aren't married. i want it, she says no rush. (reversed roles) call me old fashioned. hope this has helped somehow...  take care and let me know how you make out