text: x-mas gifts for ex and stepkids? i'm going to buy my ex a gift.  the kids are more difficult.  they've taken advantage of their mom and i to the max.  i let one know that x-mas and b-day cash will be halved and the other half will pay back (clear and acknowledged) loans.  the other, who was most responsible as a kid and supportive during the divorce doesn't "owe" me a dime (the $ to her were always a couple $100 or less and not described as loans) but won't contact me,  let me know her phone or address (mom obviously won't help and i think she's trying to contaminate our relationship) or let me (since i don't know how to contact them) see my grandkids (her kids).  with no contact for 1.5+ years, i can't see giving her lots of money.  what do people think about this whole sad, sorry situation?  talking with my ex is not an option - she hates me and would like her kids to have nothing to do with me. ok i'd send them a card........  i understand your situation my mum divorced a guy i really liked he loved my boys and was great to them i never took advantage of them and basically when it ends like all divorces you stay with who was loyal to you....and blood is thicker.  i am sorry for you....  i am sorry for my ex step dad.... but i would not hurt my mum.  that's how they feel.  so send them a card tell them you care even though all this has happened and give them your phone number....other than that know you made a difference being a part in their lives in some little or big way and try to move forward and make a life for yourself...  hugs