text: keeping my faith? i am in a vicious cycle.  i want to have faith in god/jesus but it's just so far-fetched for me to believe.  this then leads me to guilt for my disbelief.  guilt then leads me to excessive drinking and partying.  im a person who need proof nd it's about faith.  what can i do to to find peace of mind? aretus60,  i really admire your courage to ask for help here, and i was surprised to see that you received quite a few answers that were compassionate and caring. i really want to help you, but there’s nothing that i can do. you have to talk to jesus yourself.  if you ever knew god, you need to repent (change your direction) and ask jesus to save you all over again. if you have never done it, you need to understand that you have made mistakes. then, ask jesus to forgive you, and tell him that you will gladly follow him. if you do that, and mean it from your heart, he will do his part and save you.  don’t trust in a religious upbringing; don’t trust in what you were taught. talk to jesus and trust only in him.  after you have done that, please read my newsletter for may on my yahoo! 360 page. it will give you some wisdom about dealing with the drinking and partying and anything else that you are struggling with.   someone has been praying for you, and i have prayed for you, too.  god bless.