text: relationships with partners who are not out and open? i don't have anything particular in mind, just that my ex aggrivated me immensely because she would act like we were going out (holding hands, quick kisses, etc.) but if anyone asked her, she would deny that she was attracted to girls and tell them that i was just barking up the wrong tree.  she wouldn't even tell people be both knew were kinsey2s or higher that she liked girls, and i don't understand that at all.  of course if you're not sure how someone will take it, excercise caution, but if you know they're gay, why not gain an ally, as it were?  also, a current very good friend of mine who i am almost sure is a k6 (maybe a 5) lists her preference as straight on myspace and won't let me post anything that makes her sound gay.  don't these girls realize that there is as much support as hatred out there if you know where to look?  why are they ashamed of who they are?  lastly - is dating someone like this a good idea? omg my x did the same exact thing to me.  my x broke up with me, but she will still hug and kiss me.  like she keeps reeling me back in.  confusing i know.  when we were first going out she made it quite clear that she could never come out to her parents.  then a few days ago she says that she is really only 20% gay.  what a slam in the face to me.  she won't accept anything of who she is.  maybe she believes that denying the truth will make her life easier. i really don't know if dating someone like this is a great idea, but it depends on how much you care for them.  i still love my x a lot and if she wanted to get back together i would be all for it, but at the same time i don't get the full benefits of a healthy relationship.  the only quetion you need to ask is if the good out weighs the bad.  do you still enjoy being around her?  if her denial is upsetting you that much then maybe it is better to break it off, but if you still seriously care for her, then it makes it a little more difficult to just let go.