text: please tell me am i totally insane? ok so please help me on this, i may be totally crazy. it's like this: every time i come home, i pass by this barnhouse with a bunch of animals wandering around out front. i'm fine for a while, until i reach the area with all the cows. as soon as i see them, i get short of breath and can't concentrate on driving because they turn me on sooo much! i swear the cows are so beautiful, so attractive, i can't think of anything else. and now my wife is filing for divorce because she found i went to the barn and cheated on her with a cow! but i can't help it...the cows are just so hot...what can i do? cows really are nice, aren't they? especially when their noses are all drooly and their udders are full to bursting and swaying back and forth. i have two pet hens and they are even better than cows, if you can believe that.  oh, lordy me.  i need a stiff drink. all this animal talk is getting me soooooo excited i can hardly stand it.