text: is she wrong for getting hit in a relationship? i had a talk with a friend who had broken up and she recently revealed to me that she got hit by her ex-bf. she and that guy had been dating for one year and a half and lived with him for one year. she still blamed herself for being hit and until today, her ex still stand strongly that it was her that caused him to hit her. basically he shoved her while they were arguing about something and although she got hit, she never really bruised ( thats why i didnt know she was hit). her ex told her that he was never the violent person and he had never ever raised his hand to hit any women and blamed her for being the psychotic one. btw, it happend twice.  i think everytime it started when he was being controlling and she couldnt take it and try to stand up for herself. i have never been in a domestic abusive relationship and i dont know what to tell her. can a person be blamed for being hit or made someone hit her? i met her ex and he seemed like such a nice person! men who do this frequently appear to be awesome people (think ted bundy, the all american boy turned serial killer)...  it is absolutely not her fault, and he's using that as an excuse for his own inability to control his impulses.