text: is it fair to let kids aged 9 and older decide which parent they want to live with in a divorce? parents don't live in the same state and visitation might be difficult, but parents are good friends. no one knows about their relationships with their parents better than the kids, so who better to decide? i'd say go with the kids. if the parents are good friends, that's wonderful. they can accommodate extra visits, or even switch for a while, if the child asks for that. it should be all about the child,not the parents. they've messed up the kids life enough as it is.