text: define feminist.?   a feminist is a woman who is proud of being such. a feminist follows this doctrine: "when you see a really drunk girl leave a bar alone late at night and you follow her and make sure she gets inot her taxo all right.  that's self-protection. when you aren't afraid of looking like a supreme chickenshit and ask your friend to go into a public bathroom with you  because it creeps you out, but not for any intangible reason. that's self-protection [...]  when you dance, run, jump, buy yourself a birthday cake even though your birthday's five months away, cavort, kiss all the firls you love to love, laugh, sing, shout, jump rope, ding-dong ditch the house of someone who gets on your nerves, swing, climb trees, pick your nose in public, daydream, eat with your fingers, break something on purpose, fart loud, skip and pin your friends to the ground and tickle them, that's self-protection. everytime you look in the mirror and your heart races because you think, "i'm so fucking rad," that's self-protection. protect yourself."