text: i'm gay and i'm desparately in love with my straight best friend. how do i move on without telling him? from his experience with girls, he doesn't respond well to people admitting attraction to him. he gets paranoid, self-conscious and feels "boxed in". so i made it my pledge never to tell him, for his freedom's sake. being gay, i don't really fill in his need for "brotherly" friends, there's always this difference between us. and now, it just pains me to realize that i'm not that much of a keeper as a friend, and there are other people who can easily replace or fill in what i provide him. i've always been platonic with him, and he knows that i'm one of those who are "safe". i'm changing my "underworld" lifestyle because of him, to be a better person, but then again, the pain of not having him sometimes leads me to becoming promiscous. i can't call him mine in any way i could, and weighing between friendship and love, i chose friendship. and yet, that part is disposable. so how do you become strong to ignore the person you gave your heart to, and move on? by the way, we work together. i think you're making a very good choice in just staying friends.  i have a friend that i am in love with, but they are bi- so i try to not let emotions take the better of me.  i respect the fact that he's not that way.  he knows i like him, but he still is a very close friend.  he's cool with that fact.  i'm able to tell him some of my deepest thoughts, and he just goes with it.  we really care about each other, but not in that way.  try to work out a way were you two can be just close friends.  it worked with me.