text: why does it hurt when having sex for the first couple of times?   never underestimate the power of foreplay.  i remember years ago, when i was dating my ex wife, we had been living together for some time.  she complained to me once of it being painful, and we had been sexually active for months.  she asked her gyneocoligst about this, and he informed her that her cervix was a bit smaller then average.  he then suggested foreplay.  she then came to me and talked with me about it.  so we tried slowing things down a bit before penetration.  she set the pace, and decided when she was ready, and we had a very satisfying sex life there after.  talk with your b/f or husband about this, explain to him that you find it painful, and that he should take more time to prepare you.  this is done in so many ways, touching, insertion of the finger/s.  you set the pace, and when you feel you are aroused enough (wet!) then you tell him you want him, and he should be gentle and easy at first, and build things up from there.  if you are having issues with self lubrication (meaning you just dont seem to get very wet, and dont worry this is not all that uncommon), then try using personal lubricant, there are many products on the market to help you enjoy your sex life, and make sex much more comfortable and enjoyable.  beyond that, breathe, and relax, and focus on him, and enjoying everything that he is doing to you :)