text: how to explain to a 11 yr old that seniority rules no matter how good you are.? my 11 yr old is and all star soccer player who has been playing for the past 7 years with our recreation dept. he was use to playing the whole game because he is good but this year he started middle school and went out for the team there and he made it. he is good but as we all know you can be the best at something and still have room for learning and improving. he is 11 so he of course has room for it. he is getting upset though because the coach will only play him for 20 mins or so a game. he is feeling that he is not good enough. which he is but the 8th graders are holding senoirity and playing the whole games. there are some 6th graders on the team not playing at all but yet the practice just as hard as the rest of the team. he is feeling down on himself and wanting to quit what should we do logically in his mind, he feels he's a better player.  therefore he should get more play time.  nothing wrong with that logic.  seniority is a fact of life though as unfair as it is.  i don't like to practice it in the work enironment but there are rare instances when decisions have to be made and length of service becomes a deciding factor.  teaching him to roll and bow down may not necessarily be the best thing to teach him.  has he pointed out his feelings to his coach?  the coach might take it into consideration.  the coach might even admire his confidence and try not to discourage it.  throwing tantrums however won't get him far; a mature approach is best.  making the coach aware might make the coach give him the encouragement he needs.