text: ok which is worse in your eyes? finding out your spouse cheated or them telling you that they cheated but wanting to work it out. and could you honestly try to work it out ? please try to be honest and not toss out i'd dump her/ him before really thinking about it   that is all i ask   thanks :) it would be far worse to find out u were cheated on, than your spouse telling u and wanting to reconcile. if my spouse had wanted to go to therapy, or shown me i had a chance i would have given it my all, and tried my best to forgive. but i had no decision in the matter, it was decided by him and the women he had been seeing for over a year. working it out is far better than a divorce, because i believe there is nothing broken that can't be repaired with god's help. divorce is painful, especially when it involves another person. and had it not been for the presence of this other person in my marriage, i do believe he would have come home. if he is truly sincere, and knows he has caused u pain, and takes responsibility than it is always best to make a go of it, and pray for a happy ending.being a sucess is not as important as taking that first step and trying. a hurt heart takes time to heal, one can't go back into being trustful right away. if they want to work it out that means they are remorseful and know a wrong was done, means they have a concience and they aren't just thinking of themselves. does depend on how many times one has had this happen, and how many times you have been injured by someone elses wrong choices, but if it only happened once, than there is hope. the injured spouse must be able to feel safe, and that it is ok to trust again, it can be achieved in time if the cheater is willing to be completely honest, and if no funny business occurs again.