text: how do you think somebody gets to be a loner? do you think it could be about a fear of commitment?why else could it be?tell me what you think. define a loner and in what context?   please keep in mind my answers are from lifes experience, i am not a trained mental health professsional i am just an earthy, sincere mature person who is willing to share my knowledge.  in youth (say between kindergarten and grade six) being a 'loner' might be brought on by a home environment where reserve is the norm. sometime it is a sign of high intelligence in a child, he/she may feel bored or not interested because they are different in intelect to their peers. then again maybe he/she my just be new in the neighborhood. on the dark side being a loner has been shown quite often to be an early sign of mental illness or worst yet, physical or emotional child abuse. the reasons can be many and just as varied.  in the more formative years say 7th grade to 12th grade the hormones are raging all around him/her and all the same reasons above apply plus some new ones such as  (1.) religeous upbringing. (2.) fear of contageous deseases. (3.) acne. (4.) lack of self esteem. (5.) being bullied, not accepted by peers. (6) serious problems at home. these are the years where you are force by life experiences to 'mature'. choices have to be made and quickly, many and heady desisions have to be made (college or not, sex or not, are two examples), this requires 'more space' to ebolve and react positively in emotions and actions. in the mature years college and thereafter all these 'factoids' still play an important role in human relations and even more 'factoids' come to light. an example might be a difference in lifes goals or direction of careers.   the list can go on and on. and to put it bluntly to you specifcally. this is good time for many commitments. but maybe not a very good time for romantic/emmotional commitments.