text: women, help me please!? this might be the toughest decision i have to make.  i was date raped 12 weeks ago, and got pregnant by the mother******. he left the country right after, so i decided to have an abortion.  i live in a very conservative area, and decided to go for the cytotec abortion. took 12 pills and inserted 6, bleeded 15 days, and come to find out today that the fetus is still alive.  it already has a heartbeat, and i don't want to abort it now because of that, but i live in fear that it will have birth defects related to the pills i took. please help me clear my mind, i won't read any idiotic insults, as i realize what i did, nor will i pay attention to condemnig me, but what can i do now? i was raped by my x.  he got 8 months in jail while i recieved the rest of my life with the most beautiful girl.  i tried abortion and was unable to finish it.   take this as a sign from god that there is a reason for this child.  if you are unable to keep it than yes adopt the child out.  the child you carry could very well save the world from cancer, come up with the next treatment for sever retardation in children, or invent the most increadible machine ever.   what we choose to do makes a differance in the future.  this has happened for a reason.  go see a doctor, take prenatal vitamans take care of yourself and this baby.  the child living through the abortion pills and inseres makes me believe that this child is wanting to live.  that should have been enough signs but if you are anything like myself i was takingin home preg tests up till 2 weeks before my daughter was born.  i though it would go away.   i laugh at this now 12 years later.  i know you are scared and worrid about what this child may turn out like, but believe me if i  have learned nothing in the last 13 years it is that god has a plan.  i may not know what it is but i do know that when i look at the child i carried i still thank god she lived thought the last 13 years of her life.    i spent the first 9 months trying to figure out how to get rid of this child, and since have spent the last 12 years 3 months trying to figure out how to save her from the tormoils of the world.    teenage years here we come.  take this as a blessing and move on.  see a doctor, take care and always believe that the lord will bring you through what ever you need. i often screamed at god telling him that he has forgoten me, does not realize that i am unable to deal with that which he has given me.  then i look at my childs eyes and realize.  not only did he give me a way to work through the rape, he gave me the most amazing gift any one can have.  a child who loves me for me.    good luck and feel free to email me.