text: either or neither nor????? love? should i stay with the guy who is struggling with money  right now i should i choose the guy who is set with money no i am not a gold digger it's just ...both of them like me for me.  both of them are sweet ...but the one who is struggling right now is a little more special to me but he can't ever come and see me or do anything....and there is a reason why i won't go to his home town and he understands that but if he was to come see me i wouldn't except him to pay for everything i am not that kind of girl...........i am just confused and i am ready to settle down so what do i do ??? well this is one of the things two people first learn to do when they want to have a relationship together. falling in love is easy but managing the responsibilities that come after takes work and compromise. based on your statements that the guy who is having some financial struggles right now is still the one you would like most to be involved with then here's my suggestion. tell him you really want to work things out between you but that you need to be able to see each other and spend more time together. tell him that you understand that having the money needed to do this is hard for him to manage on his own right now and that you would like for the two of you to work together to save money and then be able to make plans to spend those times together. this accomplishes two things, assuming he feels as much for you as you do for him and is willing to make whatever sacrifices are necessary to be together. first, you show him that you are willing to work as hard as him to make things possible between you and secondly, in doing this, you provide the motivation he appears to need to be more self reliant financially.  good luck & best wishes!!