text: what do you have to do to become president of america?   follow these steps, it's guaranteed to work.  if you get drafted for a war, skip town while having daddy cover for you.  start up a bunch of oil companies using your daddy's money. fail horribly and drive the companies out of business.  acquire a cocaine addiction.  make friends with middle eastern leaders.  when election time comes pay off your governor brother and other people to keep minorities from voting.  insure the votes are not properly counted.  pay off news stations to announce you the winner, prematurely.  get the supreme court to appoint you.  repeat in four years, but make sure everyone in the country is focused on a war you started so they don't noticed your underhanded trickery and general stupidity.