text: today i found out of an affair my wife had 13 years ago with my best friend - how do i deal w/ this.? first, i have been very happily married for over 20 years and today i am in shock or better yet...numb like a zombie. i received a call from my long time trusted best friend who had to confess something to me; an affair with my wife 13 years ago. according to him it was a "one night stand". the funny thing about it was that i knew exactly when and where this happened when he described the details. i never questioned it because a totally trusted both my wife and my best friend. how could i have been such a fool. it never dawned on me. my best friend (if i can still find the words to call him that) asked and begged me for forgiveness. i really don't know why he's doing this now after so many years. he has supposingly been happily married for also 20 years also. what do i do. i just don't know my feelings now. i know my wife has been a very caring, supportive,and loving wife and mother. i just don' want to believe it. i really don't know what to do. please...i need some feedback. well it happened long enough ago that it hasn't effected your marriage up till now. make up your mind if you want to stay married or not. if you are looking for a reason to leave then this is it. if you are still in love with your wife then talk it over with her and forget about it. when i say forget about it that is what you have to do. if you get into an argument over something do not bring this up. every one is entitled to one mistake.