text: what would you do....??? what would you do if you had caught your fiance having an affair, and having decided that you were willing to try to work it out, you find that no matter what you say they are determined to stay "friends" with the person they had the affair with? claiming that they're not having an affair anymore, but just friends. isn't an affair about more than just sex? i'ld like to hear from both the guys and the girls, what would you do if it was your fiance? yes, you are right that an affair is always about more than sex...especially if they are still friends.  your fiancee is sharing his thoughts and feelings with this other girl and not with you.  that is worse than the sexual cheating...it is emotional cheating.  how can he bond with you when he is bonding with her?  i don't think your fiancee is ready for a committed relationship...sounds like he wants his cake and to eat it too.  as long as you are willing to accept that, that is the way it is going to be.  most guys who cheat, cheat more than once...so even if he breaks up with her, he could cheat again after you are married.  why would you want that?  i would dump him now and move on...as hard as that is.  count your blessings that you found out what kind of character he has before you got married.  you deserve someone who thinks you are the world...this guy ain't it.