text: i'm a 31yo guy and am very shy around women.......? i have never asked a girl out in person in my life only over the internet. i'm a decent looking guy i just feel like they dont want anything to do with me...its always the other guy they want. what do you think causes this shyness?? low self-esteem is what causes it, but i think in order to deal with it, you need to go to a bar one night, find the hottest chick in the bar, then ask her to buy her a drink. it may be the hardest thing you've ever done, but do that one time and you'll see that there is nothing to be afraid of and it will get easier each time you do it. trust me. just don't act all needy or dorky...chicks hate that...be confident, funny and cocky