text: is he abusing me? i recently married my hichschool sweetheart. we dated for 5 years before we got married.? he was always shy and calm, but recently he's become more and more violent. he never hits me, but he will hit or throw things. he has also started criticising me, saying i never clean enough or that i am lazy. also, he restricts my money usage, even if its money that i have made. (even after all the bills have been paid) he used to be so sweet, and i dont see what has caused the change. what should i do? yes, that is abusive behavior, and hitting "things" is what domestic abuse experts call "furniture violence" and it's considered a huge red flag... was there anything that seems to have triggered the change? trouble at work, a death in the family,legal problems, drug or alcohol abuse? if none of that seems possible, he needs to see a doctor...sudden, unexplained personality changes often indicate a medical problem and he should get a complete work-up from a physician. in the meanwhile, you need to keep yourself safe...if he's acting badly, leave the house, put a few days worth of clothes and some cash in a bag at the home of a relative or trusted friend in case you need to leave suddenly. contact your local womens shelter for more information on warning signs and options that are available to you. it is not your fault, no one deserves to be frightened of what goes on in their own home and you don't have to tolerate it...yes, you promised "for better or worse" but he also promised to "love, honor and cherish".