text: husband gave ultimatum what should i do? my son, whos 19, does not take showers regularly enouogh and does not wash his clothes that often, so occationally he stinks.  i go round and round with him every morning just about asking him to please take a shower, please wash your clothes.  sometimes he does it sometimes he doesn't.  let me just say that other than that he is a great son.  never caused us a lick of problems.  but this morning my hubby gave an ultimatum, either my son (his step-son) takes a shower and washes his clothes or he has to move.  i told my husband he was being rediculous.  my son is currently going to college and does not have away to support himself.  my husband said, "its either him or me, you decide!"  i talked to my son, i said, "please take a shower and wash your clothes when you get home."  and he said he would, but i am still stunned by my husbands ultimatum, what should i do? easy, tell your husband you choose your son. you are his mother you have a responsibility to him. your husband is being unreasonable. sure this is a problem, but this ultimatum was not the solution. tell him if the ultimatum stands, he needs to leave. don't abandon your son just because your husband is an a**hole. you will regret it. get rid of the jerk.