text: so confused about gay marriages? i am trying to understand all the conditions of gay marriages. in some states can you actually get married and in another you can only get a civil union thing. what is the difference.and another thing if two people of the same sex got married would they change one of there last names. i think there are a couple of significant differences between marriage and civil union.  the first is emotional.  "marriage" has a deep meaning to many/most people, and to be able to be married means more to them than just the financial/legal aspects of a civil contract.  the second is that there really are some legal areas where a civil union provides fewer rights than a marriage. most notably, except for those states which have recently passed laws to the contrary, marriage in one state is recognized in other states, whereas the same is likely not true of civil unions.  i believe that in the few states that have same-sex civil unions, they have granted most of the same rights as marriage; however, there are many cases where corporate policies have not followed suit.  for example, if a company would let someone cover their married spouse on the company medical insurance policy, will they allow that same coverage to a civil union partner?  as for how to decide if one of the partners should change their last name, i don't have a clue.