text: should i believe my husband??? my husband recently lied to me about smoking pot.  this has been an issue for us for years.  he had told me he quit and i believed him, i told him that if he needed help i would be there for him, but he went behind my back and did it anyway. when i confronted him, he lied to me a number of times and came up with all kinds of excuses.  he knew all he had to was ask for help or just tell me and i would not have been upset, i would have tried tohelp him. now, since these incidents, i am doubting his honesty in the past.  it scared me to realize he could lie to me that well and continue to lie to me when i confronted him. the one thing that i now am doubting is whether or not he slept with a friend of mine before we got together.  i know for a fact that 9 months after they were "friendly" a baby was born.  this baby looks shockingly similar to my husband, yet he continues to deny that he ever slept with her.  he says i should go talk to her or get a dna test if i dont believe him. i think you need to be there for him now. he wouldn't be smoking pot behind you back if you would let him be. if it causes no harm to you nor the family, what's the big deal. he would feel free to do it at his own house and believe me if you would toke up with him, you would be both reallyyyyyyyyyy happy. unless he uses other stuff, honey, you don't have to worry the least he would get is aggressive on the contrary reallyyyy pasiveeeeeeee! not that i'm a user, i have friends that do and are married couples and are very happy. unless he goes further than doing pot, i think it's really not a big issue. he lies because he does not have an alternative. if he tells you the truth, you'll be upset, if he does'nt the same, so i think you should talk. about the "baby", make sure it's not your imagination that your husband & the baby look shockingly similar but in any event, go for the dna test, it's the only way you will ever know and personally, i rather have him do it than live with the doubt. good luck