text: my ex boyfriend passed away..need advice? i am very good friends with his brothers wife,(in fact they introduced us) but i am currently with someone else now and very happy.he does not know about this prior relationship, and it is best if i keep it that way.(long story)i dated the ex about 5 years ago.he ended the relationship. what can i do to show respect and sympathty to my friend and her husbands family without going to the funeral? i plan on sending a card and stopping by her house the day after the funeral. i feel like a horrible person, but i simply cannot bring myself to go to the funeral for a lot of reasons. i think phone calls are more personal than a card.  if she's your friend she will understand why you won't go to the funneral. the next best thing to going in person is always a actual voice on the other line.