text: is this church bad for my children??? 1 year ago my husband, teen daughters and i joined a contemporary evangelist church. the girls attend a youth group. since they have been attending they have changed in a very bad way. they got together with a group of friends who steal, lie and are very gothic.  on one occasion my daughter was in sunday school and the teacher played a game called pass the note.  he made up a story and had the group answer the question and pass the note to the next person.  in the end it turned out that it said something like.  jenny (my daughter) is gay and is failing in school.  she is a fat pig and dont have any friends.  she was crushed and came running in the church crying.  i discussed this with them, but it did not help the problem.  also, my husband was out of work and we had a very difficult time and the church was extremely generious in helping us during this time.  i feel very guilty leaving under these condition.  what should i do?? as a former assistant pastor, i have seen this type of dillemma, before. the problem is that most medium to large churches have become a source of entertainment, rather than inspiration.   it sounds like this church has a youth group of several dozen kids. they probably have a youth pastor for wednesday night youth group, and a volunteer young adult to teach ss. this volunteer sounds like being seen as cool is more important to him than inspiring the kids to be moral.  whenever you frequent a place with large numbers of people you will find small groups of people that become the true source of inspiration, whether for good or evil. people cannot grow spiritually when they are simply members of an audience. we need companionship and friendship, a hand to hold, a shoulder to cry on. we will be naturally drawn to those we feel are most likely to accept us.  the problem is not one person, it is the entire empire of christianity we have built in america. jesus chose twelve disciples. these twelve were the ones he poured himself into. the common bond of this group was love. yet, even among these twelve, one became a traitor. can you imagine how many judas could have influenced if he had his own ss class?  the problem is extremely complex, but the answer is simple. find a few families that have children close to the ages of yours. meet with them at your house, their house, the coffee house. study with them, pray with them, talk with them. don't try to start a class, just be friends. have a bbq together, go to the lake together, watch the game together. in other words; make friends, and let them be your support group.   if you want to attend a church on sunday morning, fine. but, don't let that be the sole source of inspiration for your family. jesus called his disciples "friends"; not students, congregants, or members. you need a small group of like-minded families sharing the love of god, and the  journey of life, together.