text: is it normal for men to have emotional baggage? maybe i am just stereotyping, but should it take a guy very long to get over a relationship that was nothing but destructive to his own self esteem? he says he hates her now....and still loves her.   he also slept with me about 2 weeks after they broke up. it has been about 2 weeks since we did that...and we were drunk.  is this guy just girly with the emotional baggage or do guys really hurt inside and just not show it? i expect to hear this kind of stuff from women, not men. i thought men just moved on, no skin off their back.  i'm not trying to be his girlfriend, but i certainly wouldn't mind starting up some sort of "lover" situation with him.  how long is it going to take him to move on? they dated for about a year and a half....and the last half was nothing but problems. yes, it is as normal for a guy to have emotional baggage as it is for a girl.  if he really cared for her, he is probably still dealing with those feelings.  as for his past relationship being in a "destructive," just remember that love is often blind.  he probably didn't see it that way if, in fact, he was truly "in love" with her.    now, as for your comment about starting up some sort of a "lover" situation with him, here is my suggestion:  just go slowly, it may take him a little time to put the last one behind him.  so, be there as a friend...albeit a friend with occasional benefits...and wait for him to come around.  he will eventually, though it may take longer than a few weeks.  just remember, the quickest way to get over a past lover is to find a new lover.  so, it sounds like you are in the perfect position to achieve what you are hoping to start up.    best of luck!