text: why is it called the 'clap?' nobody applauds when you have it.?   lol... my mother and i thought this was funny.  should we be worried?  here is a joke that i had stashed away for just such an occasion:  a man and his newlywed check into a mountain resort by a lake. the desk clerk notices the "just married" sign still on the car. as soon as the man gets the luggage out of the car, he hops in a boat to go fishing.  he is out all day, comes back for a quick supper, picks up his lantern and goes back out at night. this goes on for a couple of days when the man happens to stop by the desk. the clerk starts a conversation with the man and mentions his behavior.  "i know it's none of my business, but i was wondering why you weren't having sex with your new wife."  "oh, i couldn't do that; she has gonorrhea."  "well, what about anal sex?"  "couldn't do that; she has diarrhea."  "there is always oral sex."  "nope, she has pyorrhea."  "wait a second. if she has gonorrhea, diarrhea, and pyorrhea, why did you marry her?"  "that's easy. she also has worms, and i love to fish!"