text: i'm agnostic but why do i fear suicide? there's been times i've contemplated suicide but the fear of what happens "after" suicide frightens me. fwiw , the thought of church, attending church and those who choose to force the gosple down my throat bores me. yet why am i such a hypocrite when it comes to thoughts of suicide? i not only cotemplated, i tried suicide.  trust me, it's a real eye opener.  i too found church boring, but when i really started studying the word, i realized i was full of pride.  i wasn't bored with the word or church, i was bored with me.  you got to realize that you can't judge a church by a few people.