text: hey girls out there.......wen did u lose ur virginity? was it painful the first time? is it really enjoyable now or still painful? i was 16 and yes it was painful.  as a mature older adult, i look back on my youth frequently and question some of the things i did.  i know that i had sex when i was young because i was looking for something or someone who cared about me or made me feel special or significant.  my parents were very strict and never spoke with me about sex or anything of any controversial nature.  i know now that i was way too young to appreciate sex and relationships and that i only used sex as a way to feel connected to someone.  wrong reason at 16!!!  i believe that sex is an important part of a healthy mature relationship and i don't believe in abstinence until you are married, but i do think that sex at too young an age leads to somewhat more promiscuous sex, irresponsible sex, and loveless sex.  sex in a healthy mature relationship can be amazing and exciting. but i believe that when young people experiment with sex too early it can lead to a lacksadaisical approach to intimacy in adult years.  most young people don't have the life experience to fully comprehend the emotions associated with sex - good or bad.