text: hurts to have sex? we had sex for the first time a long, long time ago. we have been doing it for about 7 or 8 months.  the problem is, i have only made her orgasm twice during sex, after tons of foreplay. i have absolutely no problem getting her to come from eating her out. she says it hurts every time, just like the first time did. for some reason, she didn't bleed the first time.  i have heard the suggestion to try with her on top. it doesn't work - i can't get it in. i've only been able to get it in once, when i held it because she can't do it. it just slides. i gave up on that a long time ago, because when i did get it in once, she said it hurt way worse and that she couldn't have sex like that.  i don't want to have sex with her if i'm going to hurt her.  please help me out. yes, she could possibly still have part of her hymen, particularly if she didn't bleed--either she didn't have one to begin with, or it didn't get stretched or torn enough.    have you tried using lubricants?  that might help--there's a lot of friction down there, it could hurt without a good lube.      is it possible that she's nervous...maybe worried that someone else will hear, worried about getting pregnant, anything.  if she's not relaxed, the muscles down there will tighten up and make things painful.  this is something she should ask her gynocologist about, if nothing seems to help.  don't worry, gynocologists hear this sort of thing all the time.  they will be able to tell if there's a physiological problem.    sex is both a mental and a physical thing.  if she's worried, nervous, thinking about something else, has a hormonal problem, still has her hymen, doesn't have enough lubricant...all of those things and more can contribute to it.