text: i am 33 and have never had an orgasm. where exactly is the "spot" and what is the best way to get to it? i hear so much about masturbation but come on... getting turned on about yourself! the first thing you have to do is relax...... then start thinking about, well.... whatever turns you on in that way (e.g. the hugest stiffy you've ever seen, for instance... and it being all yours to "play" with). next is the build up...... which mostly involves stroking things such as your thighs / breasts / p*ssy area, etc...... or of course have a willing partner stroke them for you.... may take up to 10-25minutes or more for a good build-up, before moving on to "the grand finale" (you may want to try a spot of finger teasing before sticking them right the way in)...... by now you should be getting like a throbbing sensation just above the entrance to the "garage doors"..... if so, press right up against the throbbing part (either inside or outside "the garage doors", or inside and out at the sametime if you really wanna get it going), and rub on it (helps to start it off slowly, then gradually build up speed from there)..... and you should get a sensation almost like you gotta pee (which will be the orgasm building up)........ when you've found the spot, and start getting that sensation..... just keep stimulating it in whatever way you can imagine to make it harder to hold it back..... and the longer you can hold it back when stimulating it, the more intense it'll be when you finally blow.  try not to worry too much about it.... some women find it harder to cum than others..... just try to enjoy working on the build-up, and it'll fire away when it's ready.  there are also certain exercises that should help: http://www.geocities.com/hotsprings/spa/4502/vagex.html