Kungani amakati engcono kunezinja?
Okokuqala, ake ngithi lo mbuzo umelela umbono wami siqu, ongokomuntu siqu. Ngiyazithanda nezinja, kodwa hhayi njengamakati. Ngingumuntu othanda amakati ngokuphelele. Nokho, ikati. Ngiyazithoba ngenxa yomsebenzi wokuzama ukuchaza ngamazwi ngokunembile imfihlakalo yalezi zidalwa ezinhle ezikhethe ukwenza abantu izigqila. Ngakho esikhundleni salokho, ngenxa yokuthi ngizama nokuqeqesha imodeli, ngizosebenzisa izichasiso eziningi ezingadingekile futhi lokho kuyodingeka kwenziwe. Amakati abelokhu ephakathi kwabantu isikhathi eside kakhulu. Ngikhumbula ngiseyingane nginencwadi eyayikhuluma ngokuthi eGibithe lasendulo amakati ayehlonishwa njengezidalwa ezingcwele futhi egcinwe ngokunethezeka emathempelini kaBaast. Ubufakazi bokuqala obuziwayo bokuthi amakati ayefuywa abantu bembuleka ethuneni langesikhathi se-Neolithic eCyprus. Into engiyithanda kakhulu ngamakati ukuthi awazange azikhathaze ngokuzishintsha kusukela ngaleso sikhathi. Baqhubeka nje bengabacasuli futhi bengabafihli, kodwa futhi benothando futhi bedlala lapho benesifiso sokwenza kanjalo. Futhi unamandla futhi ufuna izinto ngenkani, yebo. Amakati angabakhulumisi abahle kakhulu. Ziye zafunda ukuhewula kubantu ngoba ziye zaqaphela ukuthi siyayamukela le mihawulo, ngisho noma kuyivelakancane ukuzwa ikati lihewula kwelinye ikati (kuyinto ehlazisayo!). Amakati akhuluma ngendlela ekhethekile ukuze akhulume nezinhlobo ezingaphansi. Ikati lami likwenza kucace ukuthi lifunani ngokubukeka, ulimi lomzimba nokumemeza okungajwayelekile lapho likhathazwa. Uphinde abe yinkosikazi yamahlaya ngokuphelele futhi ngokusobala uyakhohlisa. Uma efuna ukudla uzoqala athi "Ngilambile" futhi uma lokho kungasebenzi sithola okugcwele ngokuthi "Ngilambile, lokhu kuyishwa, ngizokufa cishe ngokushesha uma ngingakutholi ukudla manje". Nginokwazisa okukhulu ngekhono lamakati okulawula abantu nokungabi namahloni akwenza lokhu. Amakati futhi azimele ngokuphelele uma eqhathaniswa nezinja. Asikho isidingo sokuhambahamba, asikho isidingo sokuthatha izikhwama zokuphonsa udoti ezesabekayo, asikho isidingo sokunakekelwa okubizayo ngaso sonke isikhathi uma ufuna ukuya kolala. Bayabathanda abantu babo kodwa ngokwemibandela yabo. Amakati ayathandeka futhi amnandi. Angikwazi ukukugcizelela lokhu ngokwanele. Wake walibona ikati liphenduka ukuze ubone isisu salo esinamafutha. Ungakwazi kanjani hhayi ancibilike. Wake waba nekati elenza amabhisikidi esifubeni sakho (noma emoyeni). Ukweqisa ngobumnandi. Ziyathandeka ngisho nalapho zithukuthele. Futhi iningi lamakati engiye ngahlangana nawo liyazi ukuthi lingakutshela kanjani ngobumnene ukuthi yikuphi ukuthandana okuvunyelwe nokungavunyelwe (ukuhlikihla isisu okungekho emthethweni). Bayokushaya ngempama, kodwa iminwe yakho iyobe ikhona. Futhi ukubhonga kwekati esifubeni sakho kuyinto eqabula kunazo zonke emhlabeni wonke. Igama lesiSweden elithi <unk>cat<unk> lithi <unk>kattepus<unk>. Lokho kukodwa kubonakala kuyisizathu esihle ngempela sokuthi kungani amakati engcono kunenja. Izwi lokugcina liya kuTerry Pratchett, umbhali wamanoveli eDiscworld, owabhala: "Ezikhathini zasendulo amakati ayekhulekelwa njengonkulunkulu; awakukhohliwe lokhu". Nathi akufanele.