Chapter 21 - Well, the Grass was Greener on the Other Side

I don’t own DC Comics or Superbabes: Special Delivery Service.

“Thanks so much for your patronage, everyone.” I look back over my shoulder to the green vest and white button-up of our tour guide. He clapped his hands together and took a quick breath, ready to announce to our group. “Exit is right back where we came in. If you wish to stay and look around you can as well. And if you have any questions feel free to ask them. I along with the rest of our guides are here for your convenience. Thanks so much everyone, and I hope you enjoyed the tour.”

Finally.

Feeling more than satisfied with my visit, and now that I’ve finished the final requirements for this stupid assignment, I follow the bulk of the patrons towards the front doors. Our dozens of feet tapping against the marble floor, along with the eager voices of those who chose to stay behind, echo within the entry hall, ending once our group pushes open the double doors and exit back onto the park grounds. 

I zip up my jacket to brace against the brisk wind. We all go our separate ways, with each of us choosing our own dirt path to walk down, me included. The path I choose happens to be the one I came from. A straight path in front of the entrance leading to the dense tree line. An impressive mixture of wide and thin trunked trees topped with bushy leaves that, when close together, made a blanketing canopy that blocked out most of the sun. 

Well… whatever sunlight that managed to seep through the overcast cloud cover. Who am I kidding? It’s Gotham. I still haven’t seen the sun once here.

I take in a deep breath. The air is so much more fresh, combining the natural smells of pine, dirt, fresh grass, and the occasional ‘horse’, with the wafting fragrances of hot pretzels and hot dog stands. 

The sounds of laughter, conversation, and music, permeated in the air. The origins of which could come from anywhere. Be it on a separate, far away path to my right, where a couple couples of various ages chatted amicably, or to my left across a river, where a dude was kicking back on a bench with his boombox.

It’s pleasant. It’s peaceful. It’s an environment that feels so much more natural than a cold classroom or my apartment. 

Wow. I really need to get out more.

Like actually go out and see some of these places. I mean sure, when it comes to parks, the first one I’ll probably think of most often would be the ‘classic’, ‘iconic’ Central Park in New York City. But Robinson Park? Hell, it’s a pretty decent second. And I’m glad to see I’m not the only one who thinks that. 

“H-Hold… hold on!” A couple of kids, both probably around 10 years old, who look barely tall enough to make it past my stomach, run past me, both of them carrying boats almost a third the size of themselves.

One of the kids, wearing a brown jacket with red, poof ball beanie, gasped and panted as he struggled to keep up the pace with his friend.

His friend, wearing an orange puffer jacket and a green flap cap, kept his lead, adding insult to injury by turning around and run-walking backwards. “Come on dude, we’re almost there.” 

Huh. Neat. I wonder if there’s a lake around here.

I continue down my path, where a bunch of the trees with the lowest hanging canopies begin to merge with huge bushes and hedges. It’s much more difficult to see anyone else up ahead or on any of the other paths, but that doesn’t mean I can’t hear them.

“Yeah, I’m thinking we reschedule that nine o’clock to ten o’clock, and have Elloise go through the conditions with them before the partners get in.” My ears perk up as around the bend, a middle aged woman in a tight ponytail and tighter workout clothes lightly jogs into view with a pair of wireless earbuds stuck in both ears. “Yep, the contracts are all up to date. You can take those in and get those notarized.”

Ooooo, lawyer stuff. Heh. Work stops for no one I guess.

“Come on, the clients will be more than pleased with what you drafted up. And if they aren’t Mr. Wayne’s not above coming in at the eleventh hour to soften them up.” She jogs past me, and I look behind out of vain instinct that I’d ‘see’ more, but she’s already hidden around the curve of hedges. “Trust me, with enough prep time, nobody can beat Bruce Wayne.”

She works for Bruce Wayne?! Fuck, that’s cool. I wonder who I’m going to see nex—

“OUT OF THE WAY!” I hear in front of me through the sound of rapidly ticking spokes.

“Huh?” I twist forward, wondering who the hell is—

A flash of color: skin tight yellow on top of red shining metal, and a menacing black tire ripping towards me.

I take one step off to the side, and immediately it feels like the world is falling from under my feet. There’s this gust of wind that pushes against me, this spongy feeling against my back, and finally…

“AGH! OW!” The ground. Pain floods my back and head, and I clutch desperately for the back of my skull first and foremost, while the rest of my body squirms and writhes. 

“WATch it asshooo…!” A man’s voice wizzes past.

With effort, I turtle swivel from my back onto my front, pushing myself up onto my unsteady feet and up this grassy slope through the hedge, finding only a huge trail of airborne dirt, a hint of a back wheel and a yellow ass, aaaand he’s gone. The dude’s gone. Dude on a bike just drives off down the trail at the same FUCKING SPEED!

“AAAGH!” I scream out. “Fuck you you… fucking… bitch ass… shit… face hole! Fuck… aaaugh…” 

I don’t know if it was the fall or me getting back up, but I bend over to brace my arms on both knees. I thought the pain in my head was bad already, but now it feels like it's splitting open under a ton of water and getting filled.

My head feels heavy, my vision is blurring, the whole world feels like it's spinning! I… I… Oh shit… I need-I need to sit down.

I stumble back behind the hedge, reaching for something to hold onto and steady myself. Thankfully my hand closes around a tree branch, strong enough to hold onto even with my weight… I think. 

The branch bends and droops with my sinking body, so my other hand pats around, finds, and takes hold of the trunk. I let go of the branch, letting it swing back up and—

“AH! Pffft!” Something! I don’t know what, a cloud of dust or pollen flies everywhere! My mouth, my nose. “Blegh!” I desperately spit out what I can, wiping and shaking off whatever it is that came off of the branch, but with each swipe it becomes harder and harder to tell if I’m making any progress. I can’t feel any of the dust on my hands, but I still feel a buzzing against my skin.

In fact, it’s the only thing I feel. I can’t feel anything else.

“Wha—ha…” I take in deep gulps of air, but I can’t feel my lungs expanding in my chest. I reach out and drag my hands against the tree trunk, but it feels like smooth nothingness, not rough bark. Everything feels numb.

I can’t feel my legs buckling under me as I squat down onto my knees and ass. I can’t feel the grass on my face as my vision goes sideways and my body slumps against the ground. 

It felt like my blood had completely drained free from my body, but it’s not… my eyes feel… I feel… I…

“Uhhhh…”

Meanwhile, 10 minutes ago

“Thanks so much. I’m so sorry for her running off like that.” The mother frantically brushed away the stray lock of blond hair that stuck to her slightly sweaty face. Her five year old daughter stared aimlessly while she rocked on her heels and toes and tugged on her mother’s fingers.

“Not a problem at all, ma’am.” Jeffrey, the Botanical Garden tour guide, gave his best smile. “No harm done at all.”

“Thank you.” The mother sighed in relief, but in a split second she tugged her daughter forward. “What do you say?” She hissed.

“Sooorry.” The girl let the word spill lazily from her mouth without a hint of sincerity, not even bothering to look Jeffrey in the eye.

“Apology accepted.” Jeffrey said cheerfully, patting the little girl on the head while she continued to ignore him. “And if you ever want a personal tour, you know who to ask for.” He pointed a thumb dramatically on his name tag, but the little girl was too busy not caring to notice.

The mother let out an exasperated sigh at her daughter’s rudeness, before giving Jeffrey one last embarrassed smile and tugged her daughter towards the front door. “Heh heh heh, thank you so much. C’mon we have to go now if we’re going to make it in time to see daddy for dinner.”

“I want ice cream.” 

The mother rolled her eyes and groaned. “Ugh, no you cannot have ice cream before dinner. After, yes. Before, no!”

Jeffrey let out a pleasant sigh as he turned away from the mother having her arm yanked on by her impatient daughter. “Ahhh what a great day.” He smiled, and looked around the atrium for someone to give a tour to.

Everyone who remained in the lobby distracted themselves by perusing the models and displays, walking down the three branching pathways, and in general, trying to avoid Jeffrey. So no one took notice as the slightly vine-covered front double doors, strangely without a single hand to push them, opened up, welcoming in a woman in a dark, evergreen trench coat and a wide brimmed hat cast downward to hide her face. 

The well dressed woman in green clicked her similarly colored high heeled boots past the line for the ticket counter that sat next to the front entrance. With every booth busy with customers, the Woman walked unimpeded towards the primary corridor, perfectly walking past groups of people that would have intercepted her pathway. 

“Good afternoon, ma’am!” Jeffrey, ever attentive, called out from next to a pair of garden goers, who slinked away once they found an opening to escape. “Looking for a tour at Robinson Park Botanical Garden?!” The woman made no reaction, and continued on her way down the garden’s corridors. “Ma’am? Oh ma’am?!”

Jeffrey jogged after the Woman in Green. As he turned the corner he gasped, not just because he was slightly out of breath, but because the Woman had somehow been able to cover so much ground when she was out of his sight. He immediately ran after her, increasing his pace once he saw that she had turned left towards one of the closed off exhibits. 

“Oh ma’am? Ma’am!? I know you must be a lover of herbology as much as I am,” Jeffrey said worriedly, “but that way is closed for the evening! Ma’am?!”

When Jeffrey turned the corner, he saw that the retractable belt barrier that blocked the entryway had been unhooked and the doors pushed open. The Woman was deep into the room, standing before the circular display that dominated the middle of the room. 

“Ma’am.” Jeffrey huffed. “I’m so sorry, but no one is allowed here.”

She stared up at the hodge podge assortment of jungle trees, wide leaves, and massive flowers, and pulled off her wide brimmed hat, unleashing a mane of long red hair that tumbled down her back. Very ‘bright’ red hair.

Jeffrey’s eyes, once instantly recognizing just who had strayed into the botanical garden, grew wide and he took a careful step back. But as if he had activated a trip wire, every plant in the room shuddered despite there not being a single gust of wind or open window. 

The ground rumbled, gently at first and then harshly, as the solid marble floor split apart and roots as thick as tree branches shot out and whipped around wildly like hooded cobras. And as if it were out of some horrid nightmare, the brightly colored flowers started flapping their petals, growing thorn like maws that dripped with digestive fluids. Flower after tree after fern, the dozens of species of plants either merged with or grew into monstrous, amalgamated creatures that snapped at the air with their makeshift plant teeth. 

The creatures crowded dangerously close around the mysterious redhead, but they did not attack her. They stayed where they were, growling softly, like they revered her.

“Y-you…” Jeffrey shuddered in fear, “you’re…”

“Oh, I don’t think you have any need to worry, honey.” Poison Ivy said as she shed her coat from her green tinged shoulders, letting it drop onto the floor with a puff of plant dust and revealing one piece made entirely out of leaves was wrapped tightly around her sensual, hourglass body, emphasizing her curves of her hips and a tease of what bounces underneath.
“You see…” she turned around, a maneater smile on her potent, green lips, “I’m here to catch up with some very good friends.”

Elsewhere…

All was quiet on the trail path. Birds tweeted, crickets chirped, and Eli? Eli was still unconscious, hidden behind the hole in the hedge and at the mercy of Mother Nature.

He laid comfortably in his little hideaway on the grass, sleeping soundly, peacefully. But with how quietly he sleeps, there’s no way for anyone to tell that he’s even there. 

Which begs the question: Will anyone be able to find him? 

What if no one ever does? What if he stays asleep, wasting away into an infinite slumber like a poor, cursed princess.

“Hmmm… mmm… zzzz…” Eli mumbled under his breath, clutching his jacket tightly together snugly before relaxing comfortably back into his sleep.

Right… well this is pretty uneventful. And, just saying, there was aLOT more happening over at the botanical garden. And Eli’s not really going anywhere. Soooo…

Back at the Garden…

The front of the Robinson Park Botanical Gardens was a picture of pristine perfection. A charmingly modern design, bright white walls with gray accented roofs, recognized mainly for its front entrance, which had been built with huge, floor-to-ceiling glass forty feet high that let in light of the afternoon sun to the many plants on display in the lobby. 

Sadly the admirable facade had become tarnished as a three foot tall and three foot wide flower pot crashed out of the tallest window. It sailed in the air before landing striking directly into the ground and breaking in an explosion of dirt and ceramic, startling the dozen park goers milling around in front of the gardens. They stared at the remains of the massive pot, their attention only taken away once they heard banging on the front doors. 

Dozens of visitors visiting the gardens crowded behind the glass, banging their fists and releasing muffled screams as the air behind them seemed to grow ‘hazy’, like a sauna filling with steam. With effort, someone managed to pull the doors open, releasing the visitors along with the billowing cloud of ‘haze’.

“RUN! RUN!” A battered and bruised Jeffrey screamed out, scrambling free from the front doors along with the other patrons.

The dozen park goers did nothing of the sort, staring in terrified confusion as they watched all the people inside, couples, parents, children, and staff, cough and sputter as they struggled to make their way clear of the building. 

And then the front exploded.

Park goers and garden visitors jumped and collapsed to the ground as what could only be described as a massive flower walked straight through the building front, showering glass, stone, and metal onto the grass. 

Three stories tall, a thick stem sprouting a dozen root-like arms, and four ‘legs’ at its base. And at the peak, within the unfurling, pink petalled bulb, Poison Ivy sat like a disapproving queen, staring down at all of her little subjects.

“Well, hello there!” She crooned to all the little people below. “You’re all just in time for dinner.”

Everybody, all at once and perfectly in sync, screamed.

Those who were originally outside literally dropped everything they were doing, leaving behind anything that would slow them down, and sprinted away from the garden and Poison Ivy’s botanical abomination. The visitors who were trapped within the museum pushed themselves up to run, but ultimately found that they couldn’t.

One by one their heads grew heavy and their bodies became numb. The fear induced adrenaline that had given them the strength to run away was leaving their body dangerously fast. 

Some managed to keep themselves standing, some made it further than others, and some simply collapsed on the spot, tumbling head over heels to a stop on the lush green grass, but ultimately, everyone succumbed to slumber.

“Ha ha ha haaa.” Poison Ivy let out a sensual chuckle from atop the flower bulb. She watched with evil hunger at those who managed to escape, but she didn’t seem concerned. “Run all you want. Everyone gets tired.”

She lifted her arms high into the air and spread them wide. The massive leaves embedded in the stem exuded a hazy, white powder that floated into the air and blew away in the breeze, spreading deeper and deeper into the park.

“Rest assured, Gotham,” Ivy sneered up at the towering cityscape, watching her pollen disperse into the air, “you’ll all get your chance to keep my babies more than well fed.”

“Ugh… uhhh…” a voice groaned.

Poison Ivy’s face hardened as she scanned across her collection of victims for the one who dared to stay conscious. Her acid green eyes settled on a middle aged man with graying hair and a clean button up shirt, whose body shivered against the grass.

“Oh how very rude.” Poison Ivy smiled cruelly. “You mustn't talk when my baby’s mouths are full with you.”

Behind her, within the ruins of the botanical garden came what could only be described as a cacophony of rabid howling. But if anyone came across these sounds they would know that it didn’t come from either a human or an animal.

“Don’t you worry about a pretty little thing, my babies.” Ivy cooed lovingly, swaying her hips from side to side as she listened to the growls of her ‘children’. She extended one of her hands, willing one of the many roots to stretch out towards the man. “I’ll help you get big and strong.” She said, her smile wiping away clean from her face.

The botanical garden erupted in another batch of cheerful howling, sensing their mother’s kindness. Ivy’s root reached over to the unconscious man, pushing aside two different people who got in her way, and slowly wrapped around his waist like a coiling snake. 

As she squeezed tighter, she noticed a strange, prickling sensation spreading across her skin. The tiny hairs on her arms, as well as the ends of her air, stood up, and in the distance, she thought she heard what sounded like a muffled boom. 

A harsh wave of wind, strong buffeted up against Ivy atop her perch, spraying dirt everywhere and forcing her to wrap the giant roots around her to shield herself. . “AH! AGH!” She grunted, waiting for the wind and shower of dirt to dissipate, only to discover that her prey was gone. “What? How?!” 

She willed her root towards another unconscious victim, when ZOOM! A streak of bright light, a cloud of dirt, and they too were gone. 

“Rrrr-RAGH!” She shot out dozens of roots at a time, moving so quickly from the flower that they snapped in the air like a whip, but every time, the streak of light removed one of her potential victims and she hit nothing but dirt. “AGH! Where… ARE YOU?!” She screamed in rage, spinning around in her slow and cumbersome flower in the vain hope of finding who was eluding her.

Ivy huffed in her anger, calming down once she felt the hair on her arms raise. There was a  distinct smell in the air, the smell of ozone, and a sound that could only be described as the crack of lightning striking the ground behind her.

“Ooooo, so close.” The cocky yet jovial voice of a man taunted her from the shadows. “Want to go again? Best 27 out of 52?

Poison Ivy responded in kind. “HAAAH!” By launching another vine at the arrogant voice. Fully intending to skewer the person alive.

Meanwhile…

It was quiet along the park trail. Birds chirped comfortably in their trees, and the trees rustled in the calm breeze. And the squirrels gathered their—w-wait. Hold on just a second. Why the hell are we here?! What happened with the fi—?

“AAAAH! AAAAAH!”

What the? Uhhh, a man, just a… normal looking man in slacks and a button up shirt, not a businessman, just… a man ran screaming for his life down the very path Eli had previously walked. 

“OH MY GOD! Please no!” 

“Ruuuun!”

Uhhh, more people frantically ran away. They pitifully begged for their lives, hoping that one they’ll all live to see their loved ones and—okay, hold on. 

Why are we here? Hello? The garden. Poison Ivy. Big fight happening, right? But uh, you know, why are we not there… NOW?

Can we go back please? Seriously, there’s nothing happening here. What, is it Eli? Where is that little shit anyway?

“Mmm… ah… uhhh… zzz…”

Eli’s still in that hedge. He’s fine. Come on, there’s nothing happening here. Let’s GO!

BACK at the Gardens…

“HAH!” Poison Ivy struck her root into the ground hard and dragged it across, spraying dirt in a wide arc in the hope that it would slow down the rogue bolt of lightning. But be it pinpoint strikes or wide attacks, nothing could be done to hinder it.  “Show yourself and die properly!”

Ivy kept up her attacks, striking everywhere she thought she last saw the bolt run to, but each time she’d come up with nothing but dirt.

“Come oooon!” The voice continued to taunt her. “You can do better than that!”

“STAY STILL!” Ivy screamed, launching another attack that hit nothing but a red afterimage.

“Nuh-uh.” 

Miss.

“Too slow.” 

Another miss.

“Yeah, speed really isn’t your thing, is it babe?”

Again and again she thrashed and speared every which way her flower could reach, but each attack resulted in nothing but empty craters deep into the park’s soil.  

What worried Ivy the most was that with each missed strike, the further her prey was able to get away from her. And with nothing to show for her efforts, she would be wise to drop everything and run, but it’s the voice in the lightning that stands in her way.

She can’t do anything to stop it, which means it can do anything to stop her. Delaying her further would give Gotham PD more than enough time to stop her in tracks. But there are things far worse than the police Ivy needed to worry about. Someone else. Or rather, something else.

“I can do this all night, babe!” The voice said in one location, before there was another crack of lightning and the voice appeared somewhere else. “The real question is if you can.”

“You won’t make a fool out of me!” Ivy snarled and gave a wave of her hand. The massive flower extended a fresh helping of roots that curled into sharpened drill points. Another wave of her hand, and the flower released a flurry of these foot long spikes like a shotgun spray. 

They struck the grass and punched through the trees, launching at such a speed that some were able to embed themselves into the rocks. Nothing should be able to survive such an attack, and yet…

“Ooooo, so close!” The voice called back, annoyingly unharmed. “That was a pretty good try. You got anything else for me?”

Ivy’s blood boiled at the sound of the incessant, perfectly alive voice. It was probably the only thing that would get her red in the face.

“Hey are you gonna take that out, or just leave it in?”

“H-Huh?” Ivy stuttered, immediately halting her attack. Feeling paranoid, she frantically scoured the surface of the flower for whatever might’ve damaged it, when a distinctive high pitched sound made her ears tingle.

Beep.

Ivy’s eyes grew wide as she discovered, to her horror, a small chunk of metal, with a blinking red light, embedded in the ‘shoulder’ of her flower. 

And this chunk of metal… was in the shape of a bat. 

Beep. Beep. Beep, beep, beepbeepbeepBEEP!

YEAH! BOOM! HA HA! Wait, where’s the explosion?

Eli mumbled as he curled up into a bal—wait NO, not this asshole! Go back. Go back to the fighting! Come on!

“Mmmm… ugh…”

AAAAHH! Why are we here?! And will you wake up already?! 

Stupid sleep pollen. 

“Hmmm… er… aaaahh…” Eli grunted as he shifted over onto his other side.

That’s it by the way. All he did was shift onto his side. 

Is this what you wanted?! C’mon! Get back to the good stuff. Right now, dammit!

Yes! Good, finally!

Alright what’s going on—oh FUCK YEAH!

Poison Ivy’s massive flower, bruised and burned, lifted its half burned bulb into the air and released a hauntingly sentient bellow. “OOOOOOORRRRRRGGHH!” Its head swayed left, then swayed right, and fell to the ground, dead.

Wait, no that’s it?! It’s over?! Ahhhh, god dammit. Whatever, fine.

When it was certain to say that the flower was… really feckin’ dead, a flash of light and another spray of dirt appeared in front of its burnt and deflated body, revealing the streak of red and yellow that was busy hiding and annoying Poison Ivy. 

“Phew.” The Flash whistled, raising a hand to his ear and clicking his comms. “Flash to Batman. Big Parlor of Terrors rip-off has been taken care of. Poison Ivy on the other hand…” Flash inched closer to the dead flower, and pushed the half burnt bulb to the side, revealing a human sized hole in the dirt, “looks like she managed to tunnel her way out of here.”

“Not a problem.”

“Gah!” Flash yelped, jumping to the side to discover the dark and brooding caped crusader of Gotham City himself standing right behind him, barely moving like he’d been behind him the entire time. “Duh-I mean, uh right, yeah.”

Batman approached the dead flower, kneeling by the hole in the ground. He clicked on a flashlight and took in every detail in the perfectly smooth tunnel. “Poison Ivy may be dangerous, but she’s impatient. Egotistical.” Batman deduced. “She won’t take this loss lying down. She’ll make the next move. You can count on that.”

“Riiiight,” Flash murmured, half listening and understanding Batman's psychological profiling. 

“Good work on getting the people clear of the danger, Flash.” Batman gave his regards. “Feel free to head back to Central City. I’ll take it from here.”

“Sure thing Bats.” Flash grinned, winding himself up for a quick sprint to his hometown, when a thought stopped him before he took his first step. “Hey, wait a minute!” Flash called out to Batman’s back. “What about all the little ones? Isn’t that going to be a problem for the clean up crew?”

“Don’t worry. I already took care of it.” Batman said. 

“How did you take care of i—?” Flash jolted as the front of the botanical gardens exploded… again. Dirt, debris and the remaining glass billowed from the entrance, completely extinguishing the screams of angry plants.

Flash uncurled himself from his standing fetal position and looked up at the cool guy who looked directly at an explosion.

“Like I said.” Batman explained, turning around and walking away, business concluded. “I already took care of it.”

“Wow.” Flash looked on in awe. “Yeah, you uh, yes you did.” 

Eventually he decided he had had his fill of dead plants and property damage, and turned around to follow behind Batman, still listening to the sound of crumbling concrete and glass shards. 

“Hey did you want me to fix up the place orrr…” Flash offered.

“I wouldn’t worry about it.” Batman replied rather unconcerned. “The damage is kept mostly to the front entrance. And there are plenty of philanthropists willing to donate funds for the renovations. Use it as an opportunity to create more jobs for construction workers.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m sure there is someone like that.” Flash joked. He cocked his arm and prepared to elbow his friend, but stopped and super speedily repositioned his arms behind his head once he noticed Batman glaring at him. “Hm? You say something?”

“No.” Batman smirked. “Nothing at all.”

Alright, fine! You can go back to that stupid numbskull…

“Uggggh… oh my god… ohhhhh…” 

One, two, five, six, I don’t know how many blinks it takes for my vision to adjust itself, but a couple seconds rubbing against my closed lids helps with wiping away that last bit of blur.

Yicch, and the eye crust. Always with the eye crust.

I sit myself up and twist my back to and fro until I feel a series of satisfying pops. I move on to my neck, swiveling around like a… like a… wait, where the hell am I?

Looking to my left and right, I’m sitting in between two hedge walls, both well kept and evenly trimmed, that, when I turn around, converge behind me into a tree with low hanging branches. The tree that I remember grabbing onto after I fell down! 

It’s all starting to come back to me.
Even the hole I fell through, that’s still here. Just a barely noticeable opening, a sliver of space three feet tall and barely half a foot wide, in the thinnest part of an otherwise, beefy hedge wall. Looking at it from this side, it’s a miracle no one’s fallen in here before. But that isn’t the strangest thing about this place. The path behind this hedge slopes downward and curls around a bend. 

“Hmmm… mmph…” Carefully, I push myself up onto my feet, grabbing onto the tree again so I can shake off the last of my numbness. 

Feeling more confident, I let go and make my way forward. My hand trails through one of the two towering hedge walls as I walk along its path down that rounded bend, which opens up to a large flat open space.

The area is probably the same size as a dirt cheap studio apartment, around 100 or more square feet, which for an actual apartment is small, but for the outdoors it’s like the perfect hideaway picnic area. A cozy out of the way place surrounded by the hedges and bushes, that reach high enough to merge with the tree canopy like a dome made out of plants. 

I stare up at the canopy in awe, at the sky that peers through the gaps between the leaves and branches like a kaleidoscope. Shifting my gaze downwards, I notice a second tree a little ways down another shallow slope. It’s short and squat, with two big branches and ‘medium’ and ‘tall’ heights making it a dream for my 9 year old self to climb. And to the left of that is…

Woah. It’s the lake.

At the end of the slope, a dozen or so feet down, is a wide opening in the canopy ‘dome’, showing off the wide space of the dark lake, where ducks quacked happily and people walked happily along the opposite bank. 

But beyond even that, which is easily the greatest view of it all, is the view of the Gotham skyline. Towering office buildings and skyscrapers that shot out from behind the trees, looking like they had been planted there. With every window brightly lit, it made a perfect contrast to the orange sky of the setting sun. 

Wait a minute. It’s sunset? Hold on, what time is it?

I frantically paw at my front pocket and pull out my phone, clicking it on. “7:36 PM?!” I took a four hour nap! Outside! On top of grass and dirt! That’s…! That’s…

Actually, it was nice. Easily the best and most comfortable sleep I’ve ever had outside. And I don’t think I’ve ever slept outside in my life. Except for that tent my dad would occasionally put up outside in our yard, but that was sealed and had a mattress. So we didn’t have to worry about creepy crawlies or lumpy dirt. 

But this place? No lumps, no sore body, no wet grass, no bugs. This place is single handedly the most comfortable spot I’ve ever been in outside of my home. Or my apartment. Or a relative's house. Whatever.

Just the thought of it boggles my mind. This completely hidden spot, with all of this shade, and this PERFECT view. It’s… fucking magical! 

And I found it. This little hidey hole seemingly in the middle of nowhere. I doubt anyone could find this unless it was by accident like I did. You could do anything here and no one would know. 

Absolutely Anything. Anything. Any… thing… 

Immediately I walk back up the slope to the opening in the hedges. From this angle I can see the thin sliver of open space, the only thing hinting at a hidden area that could easily be pulled aside.

Slowly and carefully, I push my head out, spotting the trail I was knocked off of, and look both ways. Nobody’s here to see me exit.

I bring my head back into the hedge, and just… I need to think. 

Nobody knows about this place except me. It’s quiet and out of the way. Comfortable, with plenty of shade and within view of an amazing sight of the city and the lake. It’s completely private.

So that means… I can do some ‘private’ things here if I wanted to.

“… but would she?” I ask no one but myself. “Nah, she… she definitely would. Wouldn’t she?”

I slip my hand into my pocket and pull out my phone, tapping open my contacts and scrolling down the list to one name in particular.

Orders Your Boss Superbabes. 

End.

Oh man, after the delay for the Holiday Special (still worth it imo), finally I can show y'all the setup for the Poison Ivy delivery. I've had this scenario in my head for months so I hope this meets expectations.

AND CAMEOS! My first Batman cameo, with a side helping of Flash. Early spoiler, Batman will definitely be dropping in to bother Orders for the delivery chapter. But that's just because Batman can't be in a Superbabes story without bothering Orders at least once.