Chapter 0 - crushes and experiments

Robin doesn’t realize that she’s in too deep until it’s far too late. Allowing Laurent to spend time with her and observing her is, at first, a favor to him, but it quickly turns into something else. She gets a thrill whenever she remembers that she’s going to see him, and the time spent together is spent in equal parts excitement and anxiety, though she isn’t sure what she’s anxious about- or excited about, for that matter.

It takes her an embarrassingly long amount of time to put two and two together and realize that she likes him, that she likes him as a lot more than a fellow soldier, that she’s actually got the most hopeless crush on him. How she managed to fall so hard for him without realizing it is beyond her, but now that she has realized it...well, she’s completely clueless as to where to go from here.

Spending time with Laurent becomes too difficult for her, the more she dwells on her feelings, until she finds herself avoiding him entirely. Just being around him makes her flustered, and soon enough, it isn’t just her crush on him that’s nagging at her. Considering the fact that she has no memory of her time before joining up with Chrom, and her time since then has been spent single, she can safely assume that it’s either been a very long time for her, or she’s never had anything to begin with.

She supposes it’s only natural that she’s curious about it, and that her thoughts and fantasies linger on Laurent most nights now, but she has no hope of being able to be alone with him at this point and she keeps her distance. If she’s going to pursue him, she has to figure out how to do it, and how to keep a level head around him, and at this point, she doesn’t even know if she should pursue him or not.

She has it so bad for him that at one point, Chrom comes to her and asks her if Laurent is still helping her, and she can feel her entire body growing warm.

“Wh-what do you mean?” she asks, and her voice doesn’t even sound familiar to her.

“You said he’d been assisting you with your work,” replies Chrom. “But I haven’t seen the two of you together recently, so I was only wondering…”

“Oh! Oh, well, I haven’t...we haven’t…” She struggles to remember how words even work. “We’ve both been busy.”

“That makes sense,” her friend replies. “But I think you benefited from having him help you. You’d been running yourself ragged, and he helped a lot with that. Now...you don’t look so good. Are you sure you’re feeling alright?”

She can’t believe her crush on Laurent has gotten so obvious that Chrom can tell something is wrong with her just by looking at her. “There’s nothing to worry about!”

“If you’re sure...you know, it won’t do us any good if you let yourself get run down. If you need anything, you can always ask.”

She does what she can to reassure him, and to keep the conversation away from the topic of Laurent, and she thinks that she manages to persuade Chrom not to worry. That is, until Laurent comes to visit her the next day and she nearly has a heart attack.

“Chrom told me that you looked under the weather,” he says. “Now, we’ve had this discussion before, so I don’t think I need to remind you why you should accept my help.”

“No, you don’t, but…” Oh, gods, what is she going to do now? “I don’t really need anything. I think Chrom was just confused.”
“I wish I could believe you, but I’d like to think I’ve spent enough time observing you that I can tell when something is off. And, believe me, Robin, something is definitely off.” She feels as if she’s actually going to dissolve under his gaze.

“Laurent…” She tries to look anywhere but at him, because she knows, with that intense look on his face, she isn’t going to be able to handle looking at him.

“If you describe your symptoms to me, I can try to diagnose it, or at least give you a vague idea of what might be causing your problem.”

She almost wants to tell him that she already knows exactly what’s wrong, but to do that would lead to him asking for specifics, and she can’t very well tell him that it’s just him, that she can’t be around him without wanting to jump him. There’s no way she can get out of this without being honest, but honesty will only sell her out completely.

“I don’t really know what my symptoms are,” she lies, knowing that he’ll see right through her.

And Laurent doesn’t look like he believes her, just as she knew he wouldn’t, and he nods. “I...see.” He leans closer and her breath catches in her throat, and she can feel her face growing red. Now he’s too close, and her breathing remains unsteady as she bites her lip and struggles to stay still. It would be all too easy to lean forward and kiss him right now, and oh, does she ever want to!

“I think I’m getting a good idea of what some of them might be,” he muses. “Irregular breathing, flushed face caused by an increase in body temperature...you seem to be fidgeting quite a bit.”

She thinks about denying it outright, but it’s not like he would believe her now. “Wow, I-I guess you’re right about that,” she says. “Maybe I am sick, and I should...just be getting to bed, huh?”

“Robin, I...I know what those are symptoms of,” he says, and she notices for the first time that his cheeks are rather flushed as well. “I know that there are several possibilities, but I think you’re...aware of what I suspect.”

“Laurent…”

“Please...if you could just tell me if I’m right.” She doesn’t want to misinterpret the look in his eyes, but it’s so very different than anything she’s ever seen in him, and she doesn’t know if there’s any way to interpret it.

“I...want you,” she confesses, bracing herself. If he’s disgusted with her, or put off by her confession, then so be it. She’s past the point of being able to hide it anyway, and if this is what gets him to leave her alone and let her move on with her life...she promises herself that she won’t be too sad.

But there’s only silence, as Laurent stands in front of her, face completely unreadable, and he doesn’t respond. She is quick to say, “And it isn’t just that, I don’t...I mean, we’ve gotten so close lately, and I’ve come to care about you a lot.” She doesn’t know why she keeps talking, digging her own grave further, but if she’s confessing to him, she might as well go all the way. “I’ve fallen for you, Laurent.”

“I…” Finally, he speaks up. “Well, I’m completely at a loss for words, I...hoped that I was right, but I never…”

“You hoped?”

“Robin, you’ve fascinated me from the very beginning. When you tried to avoid me, it was devastating, and when I began to suspect that it was due to some...feelings, I couldn’t help getting my hopes up. Now that I know how you feel…” He gives a small smile, his eyes lighting up. “I can’t help but get a little bit excited myself.”

Taking a deep breath, she says, “We don’t have to rush things. Whatever pace you want to take this at...I don’t mean to get ahead of myself.”

“No, there is nothing for you to worry about,” he says. “Knowing how you feel now, I...doubt I would be able to hold back.”

She kisses him, because she’s wanted to for so long and because, hearing his words, she knows that there’s no way she can hold back. Laurent makes a soft noise of surprise, or pleasure, when she does, and it’s nearly enough to drive her absolutely mad. She has to have him, here and now, and it’s so very nice to know that he has no objections, even if she isn’t exactly sure where they should go from here.

But then, surprisingly, she feels Laurent’s hand drifting between her legs, and she jumps at the sudden contact. He pulls back with a look of concern on his face, and says, “Was that too far? I’m sorry, I assumed…”

“No, I just...wasn’t expecting you to make the first move like that.”

“While I don’t have much experience, I’m...knowledgeable, in terms of anatomy and...other things. I’d like to put some of the things I’ve learned into practice, if you don’t mind me studying your reactions.”

Only he could put it so clinically and still sound arousing- or maybe that’s just her bias talking. Whatever the case, she’s quick to agree, and they move so that he’s sitting down. She discards her clothes, as he instructs, and his eyes roam over her body with something different than his usual, detached interest. He beckons for her to sit on his lap and she does so, and he wraps one hand around her to support her while resting the other between her legs again.

Robin leans back, resting her head against him while he begins, squirming almost instantly. He rubs his thumb against her clit and she lets out a whimper; she blushes, biting her lip to try to keep quiet, though Laurent doesn’t seem to mind. While he continues that, he runs his index finger along her entrance before slowly beginning to work it inside of her.

She can barely hold still, and her whimpers turn to all-out moans. Laurent really wasn’t kidding about being knowledgeable, and his touch is so different than her own. Of course, things are different simply because it’s him , the man she’s wanted so desperately, but there’s more to it than that. He has a technique already worked out, and despite never putting it to practice before, it is proving to be very effective.

When the hand he is using to hold her finds its way to one of her breasts, she nearly goes to pieces, especially when he takes her nipple between two fingers and pinches it lightly. Even she hasn’t experimented with that, but as sparks of pleasure shoot through her, she certainly regrets that and is glad that Laurent has thought so far ahead. She briefly entertains a fantasy of him trying something like that on himself, and wonders how sensitive he is, before the fantasy fades away as she begins to completely lose her senses.

He must be able to tell that she’s growing close already- and she can only blame the built up tension, and the anticipation, for it being so quick this time- because he picks up with his movements, hooking his finger within her, stroking her clit a bit more quickly, rolling her nipple between his fingers. She can hardly breathe now, and she gasps out his name without even really meaning to.

“Absolutely fascinating,” he murmurs, low against her ear, and she feels as if she could melt in that moment.

Rather than melting, she gives in, all of the tension that’s built up slowly releasing in waves, in spasms, and her breath comes in gaspy moans, in broken strains of what could be his name if only she could put the syllables together. Laurent holds her, his hands slowing to a stop as he realizes that she’s already there, and he brings his hand back up, embracing her with both arms.

“I...love you,” he says softly, the first time either of them has actually come out and said that.

And, despite how breathless she is, Robin manages to get out, “I love you too…”

“I’m so glad,” he says, and even though she’s facing away, she can tell from his tone of voice that he’s smiling. “If possible, I’d like to experiment further like this, with you. I’m glad that we can have a relationship, so that we can continue…”

“Of course,” she says, wondering if he can tell just how eager she is. 

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