Chapter 2 - lines (Gunter)

He doesn’t mean to overhear her, or to catch her in the act of something so very personal. In fact, he’s never even thought about the possibility of her doing something like this, but when he goes to check in on the princess one night, he waits outside her door for a moment when he hears an odd noise from inside.

He knows that Corrin is the source of the noise, and for one brief, naive second, he wonders if she’s sick. Her breaths come, short and sharp, and in between those are soft sounds, almost like moans, but he realizes rather quickly that she isn’t sick. She isn’t sick at all, and the door is ajar and he lingers outside, trying to look in without her noticing.

He can see her, twisting and writhing in her bed, still mostly beneath her covers, but he can tell that she’s doing exactly what it sounds like she’s doing. Her eyes are closed and he can’t tell from this distance if her face is flushed or not, but it’s easy to imagine.

Gunter didn’t mean to overhear this or to catch her in the act, but here he is, standing in the hallway and listening. And, of course, he doesn’t mean to listen, but he’s never even thought about the possibility of her doing something like this, and he’s a bit stunned. Maybe even curious, more so than he would ever admit.

She’s never been anything more than what she is; the young princess he’s charged with protecting, the young princess he’s practically raised . Naturally, she was bound to start feeling these desires eventually, but that was never his business and never something he was supposed to consider. He sees now that she’s grown, and he knows that she’s well past old enough to be thinking these thoughts, and he starts to step back.

And then she speaks.

“ Gunter …”

He freezes and his breath hitches in his throat. Though he wants to think he’s misheard her, though he knows that that seems like the most realistic possibility, he knows what he heard. Nothing about this situation seems to be fitting his idea of realism anyway, and even if he wants to try to convince himself that he misheard her, she soon says it again, and much more clearly.

“O-oh...Gunter…”

There’s no mistaking it; that’s his name on Corrin’s lips while her hand...her hand ...he doesn’t know what to make of this situation. She’s a princess , and even if she’s grown, to him, she might as well still be a child, so it’s hard to register that she’s doing this, right here where he can hear her, he can vaguely see her, and that, on top of all that, she’s thinking about him . He absolutely doesn’t know what to make of this situation, and he doesn’t know what to make of the way his chest grows tight and of the heat pooling in the pit of his stomach.

“Please…”

He wonders what she’s begging for, and he tries to stop himself from imagining. She fidgets and squirms and whimpers and cries, and every now and then his name pops up again. Beyond that, she doesn’t say much else, other than “please” and “yes”, and other things like that, but she doesn’t need to. He doesn’t need anything else to add to the images taking root in his mind without his consent.

This is wrong . More than anything, he knows that this is wrong. Beyond the fact that it’s wrong for him to stand here and listen to her, it’s wrong that she’s doing this to begin with, that she’s doing this while thinking of him. The two of them are...they aren’t whatever she’s imagining. It’s wrong .

He tells himself that he’s putting a stop to things when he pushes her door the rest of the way open, and tells himself that this is the best option even though he knows that he should just leave her alone and pretend he never heard anything. But he pushes her door open and makes no effort to be quiet, so she is immediately alerted to his presence. She shrinks down in her bed, her movement ceasing as a terrified expression comes over her face.

“Just what do you think you’re doing in here?” he asks.

“What...what do you mean?”

“You don’t have to try to lie to me. I know exactly what it is you were doing, milady,” he says. “I’m just not sure I understand why , or why you thought that behavior was acceptable.” Already, he knows that he’s being too hard on her, but perhaps a part of him is hoping that, if he can crush her image of him, he can nip this...whatever it is, in the bud, before he’s tempted beyond what he can bear.

“I wasn’t...I mean...how...how long were you there?” She can tell that she’s in trouble, but she’s still trying to gauge just how much trouble she’s in.

“Long enough to hear something very interesting.” Gunter is going his best to sound firm, but why on earth are his hands shaking like this?

Corrin shrinks down even further, mumbling something incoherently. He knows, he knows , that he’s being too hard on her and that he’s humiliating her, and that it’s hardly his fault he didn’t walk away as soon as he realized what she was doing, but he can’t tear himself away from her.

“You have to understand what’s wrong about...that.”

“Of course I do!” she cries. “I do, that’s why I never...why I would never…”

“You shouldn’t even entertain a fantasy like that. I would never...and we could never…”

“I know! I know, I know!” Now, she seems close to tears. “I know that it’s wrong, and that I shouldn’t see you like that and that you would never see me like that, but I can’t help it! I can’t help how I feel, and I can’t help...wanting…”

Wanting him. He knows exactly what it is that she means, and he knows now that he's doomed. Regardless of what he's set out to do, regardless of his station, regardless of his common sense, Gunter knows that he's doomed. And he knows that, wrong as it may be- and, oh, it is so damn wrong !- that he wants her. He wants Corrin, his princess, more than he's ever dared to allow himself to admit, and now, there's nothing he can do about it.

Now, there's no way in hell he's going to be able to hold back.

She doesn't even seem to realize what's happening as he closes the distance between and climbs on top of her and presses his lips to hers. He moves too fast and she's still stuck in the moment where he was scolding her and where there could be nothing between them. Not to mention the fact that it must be her first kiss, and she doesn't know how to respond to something like that.

She's stiff for so long, but he does what he can to guide her until she's relaxing into it, and he kisses Corrin like he's absolutely starved for it, and perhaps he is. Perhaps it's been too long for him, or perhaps it will never be too long and he's rushing everything, perhaps he's doing something that goes beyond unforgivable. He can't bring himself to care anymore, and he bites her lip without even thinking. This is coming back to him a bit faster than expected.

When their lips finally do part, she's breathless with a confused expression, and he smiles at her almost sheepishly. "What...what was that?" she asks.

"I suppose I'm not very good at following my own advice," he says. "I did all I could to resist the temptation, but...it didn't do me much good."

"You mean you...?"

"I do. Gods help me, I do."

They don't do much talking from that point on, because he doesn't want trust himself not to try to talk either of them out of it, and because she doesn't seem like she's in the mood for talking. There will be consequences to deal with soon enough, and there will be feelings to discuss and many things to worry about, but for now, neither of them does any talking. He helps her out of her gown and then nearly stumbles as he undresses himself, and then he returns to her.

It's her first time, of course, and it's far from his, but it's his first in a very long time, so he has to remind himself how to be gentle and how to take things slow for her. But he quietly murmurs to her, breaking the silence as he tells her exactly what she needs to do, and he reassures her and guides her, and he feels more like her guardian than ever. He supposes that should remind him of how wrong this is, but damned if he hasn't given up on concerning himself with that.

For a moment, he works a finger inside of her, wanting to make sure that she’s ready, but she’s done so much to herself already that she’s squirming and eager, and when she starts to beg him for more, he can’t deny her. She winces and whimpers when he starts to press himself inside of her, but his voice is gentle as he tells her to relax, that he’ll go as slow as he can and that it will get better in time, she just has to get used to it.

In time, she does, and in time, he fits inside of her and he feels himself going to pieces at the familiar, but nearly forgotten pleasure. He’s denied himself for so long, but now... now , he doesn’t know how he’ll ever be able to hold back again. When he’s able to begin his slow, gentle thrusts, he leans his face down, resting it somewhere along her shoulder and breathing in her scent, and he isn’t sure if he’s trying to be closer to her or if he’s hiding his face due to his guilt.

She comes faster than he would expect from her first time, but she had been working at herself when he found her, so that likely has a hand in it. Either that or he’s better than he remembers, but the feeling of her trembling and contracting around him in her pleasure is nearly too much, and he hastily pulls out of her before it’s too late.

A mixture of humiliation and horror and relief washes over him all at once, and all Gunter can do is lie next to her. She clings to him, tighter than she ever did even as a child, and he knows that he’s crossed a line. He’s crossed a line and he can never go back to the way things were before, and he isn’t even sure if he wants to. There are so many things to question and worry about and feel guilty over, but for now, he’s just tired.

For now, he allows himself to fall asleep with Corrin holding onto him. 

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