Chapter 5 - Birthdays part 1

Hello humans it's Weegee1 again with a new chapter of Winnie the Pooh and the Hundred Acre Screw. I can't believe I have over a two hundred unique views in under a month, since it seems a lot of people like my story I'm going to be working on this story harder than before. I will also try to start releasing longer chapters due to a wonderful critique by CrisisBorn after this chapter, thank you for the help. Now then Fanfiction bible page 3 verse 7 I don't own Winnie the Pooh in any way shape or form it's owned by someone else.

Christopher blinked realizing that he spent a fair bit of time reminiscing about the event that turned his life around. Looking outside the window he saw that the sky was darkening into the early onset of dusk, checking his grandfather clock he saw it was seven at night. "Time sure does go by at a rapid pace when you're happy." the young man mused aloud to himself. "I still have to cook dinner, make the bed, wash the dishes, and shower." he muttered as he entered the kitchen. Dinner was a simple affair of toad in the hole, a large pancake cooked in a frying pan in the oven with bangers in it, a recipe his dad loved.

Gathering the ingredients was easy enough 1.5 cups flour, 3 eggs, 1.5 cups milk, 2 tablespoons butter, 1 tablespoon oil, a pinch of salt and pepper, and a pound of bangers. In one bowl he combined the flour with the salt and pepper before setting it aside, in a small pot he melted the butter then added the milk before removing it from the head and adding the eggs whisking until it was a smooth golden color. Setting the pot down on the unheated side of the stove he preheated the oven to 425 Fahrenheit, grabbed a ceramic pan smearing a tablespoon of vegetable oil on the sides and bottom of it before sliding it into the heating oven. Lifting up the cooler liquid he added it to the flour mix he combined them into a smooth batter which he set aside again to work on the bangers. Heating a small skillet he added a tablespoon of oil and waited until the oil started sputtering before adding each banger carefully until he had them all browning nicely, once they had finished browning he turned the heat off and removed the ceramic pan from the oven and added each banger to the pan.

Whisking the batter one last time to make sure it was still properly mixed he poured it over the bangers and put the pan back in the oven. With nothing left to do for 25 minutes he made his bed, fluffed the pillow, and then made his way down to the kitchen just in time for the toad in the hole to be done. Grabbing a plate, utensils, a glass for milk, and some syrup Christopher sat down to eat in silence with his thoughts unaware of the eyes watching from the shadows. After eating Christopher picked up his plate, utensils, and glass from milk setting them on the countertop next to the sink before putting the dish pan in place and going to get towels. The young man turned on the water to heat up while he put the syrup and milk away completely oblivious to the shape scurrying from the kitchen shadows into his bedroom , where they hid beneath his bed patiently. With the water hot enough Christopher move the faucet so the hot water filled the dish pan half full before turning the water off, adding dish soap, and putting the towels in place for the dishes to dry once they were washed.

Humming a random nonsensical tune Christopher began scrubbing his dishes clean one by one before placing them on the rinsing side where he sprayed the suds clean with a quick burst of hot water and placed them on the towel to absorb any excess moisture. Yawning and looking at the grandfather' clock he saw it was well after eight in fact it was almost nine o clock, deciding to put the dishes away in the morning the lethargic young man trudged up the stairs to take a shower. Grabbing a towel from his room's closet he walked his way to the bathroom, setting his towel aside Christopher turned on the water and waited for it to heat up while he grabbed his shampoo and body wash.

Setting his towel down in a spot where it wouldn't get wet he began the arduous process of bathing, for most people the task of properly bathing would take up to ten minutes maybe fifteen but for Christopher it took around thirty minutes most of which was spent on washing his 'package'. The good thing was that he stopped growing in that particular way when he hit twenty, the awkward thing was that he ended up with balls the size of a large musk melon each and a dick twenty two inches long when hard, a fact that got him ridiculed in locker rooms as well as drove women who flirted with him away, which made Christopher sad due to not having any friends however it also made him happy as it meant he could focus on his loved ones.

As he slathered his form with body wash he noted another fact about himself was his inability to grow body hair or facial hair, when he asked Miriam due to having no one else to ask she responded from the shadows that she stayed in "Hiding such a handsome face would be a sin as for the body hair, I believe one of those in school with you said pubic hair are like vegetables, you have to push them aside to eat." a hearty chuckle emerged from Christopher at that memory especially since he could practically hear the smirk in her voice at her humor. As the young man showered he remembered a wonderful fact that was on the calendar in the kitchen downstairs, tomorrow was Winifred and Patricia's birthday.

As he thought of the upcoming event he blanched realizing that he had no clue what to get them, or at least Patricia, Winifred was easy to get a present for anything with honey in it or involved with honey was guaranteed to be appreciated by her. So wrapped up he forgot a very important fact, it was his birthday tomorrow as well. Drying himself off he walked to his room before laying down to sleep and promptly launched up yelling "Tigger!"

Perspective Change

While Cristopher was getting ready for the day ahead a mysterious creature dwelled beneath his bed placing under the sheets a nasty surprise. When the water in the bathroom turned on to get nice and hot the creature did decide to trot. Down, down, down the stairs ignoring its lost orange and black hairs it waited patiently with no cares.
Her love would get quite the scare, she was certain he'd know who it was by her love of pranks a talent many found annoying to be quite frank. She leaned forward and cupped an ear hoping to hear..."Tigger!" Her love did yell in an upset voice that sounded like a harshly ringing broken bell. Smiling Tigger laughed "Hoohoohoo I still got it!" and bounded off into the woods.

Perspective returns to normal.

Christopher was stuck between laughing and fuming, he knew Tigger had a nearly obsessive problem with pranking others he just wished she would have done it earlier in the day instead of doing it right before bed, he also wished that she didn't stick a rubber snake in his bed. Most might not have noticed the clues that she left but with his years spent being pranked by her, as well as pranking with her he could easily notice the signs.

In the mouth of the snake were several fine black and orange hairs which were the biggest tip off, beneath his bed were a few more hairs of the same color, and the final piece of evidence, the true nail in the coffin was a letter sticking out from beneath his pillow "Welcome home Christopher. With love Tigger." Quirking up the sides of his mouth into a smile he shook his head, climbed into bed, and drifted off into a deep dreamless sleep. Early in the morning around six or so Christopher awoke with a yawn and a bone popping stretch before throwing the covers off and muttering "Damned morning wood. Could use it as a sundial." giving a chuckle he stood and walked downstairs with his second head leading the way.

For breakfast Christopher had a simple breakfast of scrambled eggs and toast after which he began his preparations for the special day ahead. His first objective was the creation of a cake for the birthday party that everyone would enjoy, searching through his mother's recipe books he came across one in the form of a honey lemon beehive. Reading the entire recipe he decided it would go over well, he then set out to get the ingredients for the cake 1 1/2 cups of unbleached flour, 3/4 cups almond flour, 1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder, 1/2 teaspoons baking soda, 1/2 teaspoons salt, 8 teaspoons room temperature unsalted butter, 1/2 cup sugar, 2 eggs, 1/4 cup honey, 1 lemon rind, 1 teaspoon vanilla extract, 1/2 teaspoon lemon extract, and 1 cup buttermilk.

At the bottom of the page there was an addendum for a sweet and tart glaze to be made once the cake was in the oven consisting of a 1/4 cup honey, 2 tablespoons unsalted cold butter, and 1 tablespoon lemon juice. Christopher preheated the oven to 350 degrees and greasing the honey comb pan he then started the work of measuring out the flours, baking soda and baking powder, and salt into a medium bowl then he mixed them together. Getting out his mixer he put the warm butter and sugar and whipped it until it was light and airy before adding the eggs one at a time into the sugar and butter mixture.

He grated the zest into the mixing bowl then measured out the extracts and honey in as well before beating them into the mix. Once everything was incorporated he added the flours and the buttermilk to make a batter. He poured the batter into the honeycomb pan and tapped the side to make sure there was no air bubbles that could ruin the cake before he put it in the oven to cook for thirty minutes or until it was golden brown. While he was waiting for the cake to be baked he started on the glaze. Grabbing a small sauce pan he put it on the stove top and added the honey, butter, and lemon juice before setting it on a low heat.

Once the butter started to melt he started stirring it lightly to make sure it wouldn't burn or stick to the pan. After the glaze was done he removed it from the heat and set it on a cold burner, he then checked the cake and saw it was done. Pulling the cake out of the oven he set it on a bread board he got out for it to rest on for ten minutes, upon the passing of ten minutes he unfastened the honeycomb and removed the cake. Christopher stirred glaze and applied it to the cake with a baker's brush.

Nodding to himself Christopher realizes he would need more than one due to the number of guests who would be at the party so he set about making three more. Once he had all four cakes ready he put them on a large platter and covered them up to keep them moist before going to get the presents he thought of while baking. For Winifred he had a red box with a little golden bow on top with several large jars of custom order honey inside, including clover honey which was fairly common on the bee farms in the township nearest to him, dandelion honey which had a more potent earthy taste to it and wasn't overly common but it wasn't extremely rare either, and the last unique one was honeyfrom a wasp farmer, when asked why the older man farmedwasps he safelysaid a bee can sting an intruder once before dying, a wasp can sting many times, they are also simpler to take care of because they will eat anything you leave them. Christopher found out the old farmer fed his wasps a special diet to change the flavor of the honey, the jar he got was a special blend of black caps, rose nectar, and mint sprigs.

Smiling at the memory of the energetic and cantankerous old farmer hobbling around with a swarm of wasps landing on him to take breaks in their flights before taking off again Christopher went to get Patricia's gift. In a purple box wrapped with a little pink bow was a blue and red striped sweater like what Patricia always used to wear with a gold necklace from his mother's old jewelry box. With everything in order Christopher started his long journey to the heart of the woods.

Deep in the Hundred Acre Woods around seven in the morning another group was preparing for the two birthday girls and a certain unaware birthday boy's special day, humming was pouring out from an open window in Roxanne's house. If one were to look inside they would see an odd gathering of creatures of the fairer gender, sitting in a cushy red chair was Tigger with her feet tapping in anxiety and nervousness, in the blue painted wooden chair across from Tigger was Roxanne a slim yet curvy white furred green eyed rabbit trying to read a recipe book on desserts, trying being the key word due to Tigger's increase in fidgeting.

Before Roxanne could start yelling at Tigger a book snapped shut drawing their attention to the figure emerging from the kitchen shadows "Now ladies, I believe that you can put aside your differences for one day correct?" a silky smooth voice asked in amusement "Yes lady Miriam." Tigger and Roxanne said at the same time in embarrassment. The front door opening and slamming startled Tigger and Roxanne from their embarrassment causing Tigger to leap up and latch onto the ceiling and Roxanne to fall off her chair "Sso what'ss all the racket about then?" a whistling voice inquired as Gabriel, a short, squinting, stocky gopher that was barely over four feet tall waddled into the room trailing muddy boot prints holding a thick cook book. "Must you wear those filthy clothes in my house? You're trailing mud and dust all over my freshly mopped floor!" Roxanne shrieked in a mix of horror and despair.

Gabriel smirked and started patting off her overalls spreading dust everywhere "You need to get laid bunny. I thought your sspeciess were alwayss fucking, or iss that the non neurotic varieiess? I'm ssure you wouldn't grouch about messess if it wass made by Chrisstopher tiling your fieldss, or maybe you would." Gabriel crudely retorted while making hip thrusting motions "Ladies, if you are all finished with the pleasantries, I believe we have some cakes to make." Miriam calmly interrupted the bickering bunny and the grouching gopher which brought their attention back to the task at hand. Shaking her head and sighing at their antics Miriam set the open book down on the kitchen counter before helping a sheepish Tigger down from the ceiling.

Putting the book she was reading down she pointed to a recipe called carrot cheesecake a two part recipe consisting of a carrot cake bottom topped by a cheesecake. "Ladies we are dividing this cakes work in half, due to there being carrots here you three will make the bottom layer. Now behave while I get the other group started on the top half." after her orders she snapped her fingers making a replica of the recipe book before vanishing into the shadows to parts unknown, for now. Gathering around the table Gabriel inquired nervously "Sso what'ss the ressipe for?" Rabbit smiled with insane delight and responded in a voice of uncontained glee "carrot cake."

The recipe was underlined 1/2 cup pecans finely chopped, 1 cup all purpose flour, 1 teaspoon baking powder, 3/4 teaspoon baking soda, 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon, 1/2 teaspoon ground ginger, 1/4 teaspoon kosher salt, 1/2 cup vegetable oil, 1/2 cup sugar, 2 large eggs, 1 1/2 cups shredded carrot. "Tigger get the ingredients, Gabriel you handle the stove and mixing ingredients, I'll read the instructions and help where needed." Gabriel nodded with a look of determination on her face while Tigger stopped bouncing long enough to nod. "Tigger I need flour, pecans, baking powder and soda, ground cinnamon, salt, vegetable oil, sugar, eggs, and three large carrots. Gabriel set the oven to 350 and get me a nine inch pan." Roxanne requested while she looked at the book once Tigger brought the ingredients, and the oven preheated she began reading the ingredient amount in the recipe to Gabriel. ".

Spread the pecans on a baking sheet and brown them in the oven, once the pecans are browned remove them and cool then finely chop them. Gabriel in a large bowl combine the pecans, flour, baking powder and baking soda, cinnamon, ginger, and salt. Tigger while she's doing that whisk the eggs, oil, and sugar in another bowl, while you're both doing your jobs I'll shred the carrots." Roxanne ordered. Once the ladies were done with their work Roxanne went back to the recipe and began giving directions again"Tigger stir the carrots into the egg mixture then fold that into the flour mixture until it forms into a batter. Gabriel pour the batter into the pan then put it into the oven until a toothpick can be inserted and come out clean.".

Once the cake was finished Roxanne smiled and said "Good job girls! Now we just have three more to make according to Miriam's order at the bottom of the page." Before Gabriel could begin to complain or object Roxanne grabbed her shoulders and as soon as Gabriel opened her mouth to say something Roxanne darted down and locked lips with the confused gopher's "I can smell you under that dirt and grime covered clothing enough to know that your in season. I also know which names you whistle out from between those teeth of yours during your little sessions. So here's the deal, you help me finish up baking since Tigger just bolted out the door, then take a shower, and I'll help you out. Deal?" Roxanne questioned while grabbing onto the nervous, and aroused burrower's ass who could only nod due to being unable to trust her voice."Good girl." Roxanne quipped before kissing her deep enough that Gabriel's legs started knocking and the front of her overalls developed a small wet spot "Orgasming from a simple kiss Gabriel? My you really are a needy girl. Now let's get to work sweet cheeks." With a swat to Gabriel's ass that drew a squeaking moan from her lips as well as making her cunny release more fragrant nectar into her overalls.

On the other side of the Hundred Acre Woods in a wooden house nestled in a grove of trees an odd group was focused on getting ready for the day ahead. "Ruth I need you and Kessie to help Olivia set up the tables and chairs in the clearing while me and Miriam bake the cake." A silky voice spoke from within the kitchen before an extremely buxom wide hipped kangaroo came out of the kitchen wearing an apron and nothing else "Yes mom" a young lady's voice responded before saying "Come on Kessie" "Oh and Eeyore could you be a dear and fetch the carrot cakes from Roxanne's house? I believe that Gabriel and Roxanne will be preoccupied with each other for a while and I'd like to get those cakes ready before the birthday boy and birthday girls get to the clearing." The motherly kangaroo said as Miriam emerged from the shadows of the kitchen corner "It may take me a bit to get there but I don't mind Kendra." with a smile on her lips Eeyore sashayed out the door with her tail flicking absently behind her large jiggling rump.

When everyone left except for Miriam and Kendra Miriam read the recipe aloud "For our part we are making a cheesecake center layer to go on top of the carrot cakes Roxanne's group made with a sweet berry glaze on top.". Kendra nods while her tail flicks back and forth behind her before inquiring "I understand the recipe, the one thing i don't understand why you had everyone leave before we could bake Miriam?" Miriam smirked and leaned down next to Kendra's ear "Well my sweet little jumper, you are in season, and we're out of milk." Kendra's thighs rubbed together before she looked down and saw the spots on the floor from her achingly needful cunny which caused her to blush hotly under her fine brown fur and her ears folded back slightly in a mix of arousal and shame.

When Kendra opened her mouth to protest Miriam put her scaled index finger on Kendra's plush lips "We both have a job to do, I have to make a cake, and you have to make a glaze. Now the job is simple we make our Sultan's special day wonderful it will be very awkward with you trying to restrain yourself from having intercourse with him as soon as you see him. It will also be hard making the glaze without milk, seeing that you are the only one lactating we can solve two of our problems at once. You can take care of your heat and get it to a tolerable level and when you're settled down enough you can get me three cups of milk, I know that you drain a gallon twice a week and you haven't done any this week at all which is why you are wearing a thick absorbent apron. My guess is you were saving up for Christopher due to your desires to celebrate his birthday in a certain way just like the other women of the woods. Today it's for him, Winifred, and Patricia enjoying the sharing of sheets. Tomorrow is another day, if you hold out until then I'm sure you will enjoy the rewards." Miriam smiled and swatted Kendra's ass sending waves through it and causing the flustered marsupial to rush off to her room leaving a small trail of cunny honey in her wake.

Once Kendra's door closed behind her Miriam snapped her fingers and several stick figures made of shadows crawled out from beneath the tables and chairs in the living room before scuttling into the kitchen and standing before their maker awaiting their orders. "3 cream cheese packages 8 ounces each, 2/3 cup sour cream, 2/3 cup sugar, 3 large eggs. 3 tablespoons all purpose flour, 1 teaspoon lemon zest, 2 teaspoons lemon juice, 1 teaspoon vanilla extract. You little ones get the things and I'll take care of mixing and baking okay?" Miriam asked in a caring tone in response the little stick figures stared at each other then started nodding before scurrying off to gather the ingredients as fast as there little thin legs could take them. With a smile Miriam mused "who knows maybe you little ones will finally have a sibling someday."

With the sound of clinking containers and bouncing fruits as well as little exclamations of "oops" and "uh ohs" all the ingredients were brought to the table. "Go and play now little ones, tell auntie Anemone we will meet up in two days when you go back home okay." Miriam happily said which was followed by a chorus of "bye auntie Miriam." as the little stick figures dispersed back from whence they came. Miriam looked up from the recipe when the door slammed open revealing a heavily blushing Eeyore holding a large tray with four carrot cakes on it. "Why Eeyore, you look like you ran a marathon. Why don't you tell me what happened." Miriam said with a smile on her face.

Flashback

After Kendra asked Eeyore to get the cakes from Roxanne's house she decided to take the long route, which was rare for her since most of the time she would mope from point A to point B. Today was different, today Christopher was coming to the woods, even better today was his birthday. The simple thought of him happily eating cake brought a dopey smile to her face and a slight shake of her hips. As she was slowly moving along the path she saw Tigger launching through the woods with such speed that she was out of sight before Eeyore could even open her mouth to say something to get the tiger's attention.

Shrugging her shoulders the confused donkey just kept walking towards her goal, hearing a moan of discomfort or pain that sounded like Roxanne's voice she ran up to the door and kicked it open hard enough to splinter the wood in the middle as well as leave a hoof print in the wood of the door she came across a sight she will never forget. Four carrot cakes sat upon a large metal tray, the kitchen as well as the rest of the house was spotless as usual. Hearing the same moan as before coming from upstairs she slowly and silently made her way up the stairs, her search ended at a partially open door.

On the foot end of Roxanne's bed pristine white sheets were bunched up and untidy, pillows were strewn all around the floor, and there in the middle of the bed were a very naked Gabriel and Roxanne. Roxanne had her eyes closed and her hands wrapped firmly around Gabriel's hips holding her in place as Roxanne's tongue polished Gabriel's clit with the same ferocity that she would use on an especially dirty set of dishes.
Eeyore couldn't see what Gabriel was doing but based on how Roxanne was slightly bucking her hips on occasion she safely assumed that the gopher was energetically returning the favor. Eeyore stepped back while stifling a gasp causing a board to creak under her weight, thankfully neither Gabriel nor Roxanne noticed. Making her way down the stairs as fast as she could while remaining silent Eeyore grabbed the tray of cakes and left hearing an exclamation of "OHHHH FUUUUCK YESSSS" boom out behind her as she sped up.

Return to the present

"Hahaha, oh you poor dear. Why don't you go take a nap, I'll wake you when the rest of the baking is done." Miriam said in a calming way. Eeyore nodded before setting the tray down and walking away a shriek sounded out shortly after she was out of sight which was followed by a pounding of hooves and the slamming of a door. "For someone so small she sure can scream." Kendra bemused cleaning her ear with her right hand's pointer finger while her left hand held firmly onto a gallon bucket that was nearly full of fresh milk. "You know we only needed three cups of milk right?" Miriam teased with a wide smirk on her lips and hands on her ample hips. "Just take it." Kendra ground out in embarrassment before she left to make sure Ruth and the others were doing their jobs alright. "So good at teasing others but becomes an embarassed mess when someone teases her. 

I wonder if she'll notice that she is only wearing her apron?" Miriam wondered aloud.
Shaking her head in amusement she got to work making the cheese cake center layer, combining the eggs, sugar, and sour cream in a large bowl until smooth she set it to the side before starting on the rest of the ingredients. Combining cream cheese, vanilla extract, lemon zest and juice, and flour she mixed it until it was smooth in a large bowl before adding the egg mixture and whisking it until it was fully incorporated. She set the oven to preheat to 425 degrees while she made 3 more batches and put them in glass pans before sliding them into the oven to cook. While the cakes were baking she got ready to make the berry glaze for the toppings.

Humming to herself she began gathering together blueberries, strawberries, and raspberries once she had the berries together she poured Kendra's milk into a bowl before putting six cups of powder sugar on top of the milk. Taking a fresh unused whisk she mixed the solution into a smooth frosting and then set it aside. After a while the cheese cakes were golden brown and finished so she turned off the oven, took the cakes out and set them aside to cool enough to remove them from the pans. After removing the cakes from the pans she put the cheese cake portion on top of the carrot cakes before liberally topping each one with a mix of berries and a heavy application of glaze.

With a snap of her fingers the glaze solidified and the cakes cooled to a perfect temperature, a quick nod and an even quicker double check to make sure she didn't forget anything Miriam began the journey to the centerof the woods deciding to take the long way and walk for once instead of reappearing where she wanted to be. Upon leaving the house she used magic to put on her garb and closed the door as she left.

Sorry about the long wait my laptop decided to die so I'm now using my cellphone to do fanfiction and shark Corona medical cases. I will have the next birthday scene chapter up by the 10th or earlier hopefully. Take care everyone.

Sincerely Weegee1