Chapter 0 - Cacophony

A slime girl, an invisible man, a shapeshifter, and a body swapper walk into a bar. It sounds like a joke, it is pretty funny, but for the barman now having to serve the very infamous group known politely as “Cacophony” and more unpolitely as “Chaos”.  They were anyone’s worst nightmare. Sure, they were a decent adventuring team, often somehow completing great feats but it more seemed like the bumbling of a mad god more than anything on purpose. Usually with lots and lots of property damage. The barman was already examining his bar, wondering how long it would take to get back into business after it burned down. Each of the team of four were unique in their own way. 

Kevin, the invisible man. Rumour has it that he was invisible long before he had ever met up with the rest of Cacophony. Anytime he has ever been asked about it he has always said “I just woke up that way.” He was the only stabilizing force in the whole group. But that somehow just made it worse, like sound reverberating off a wall. The part that was currently bothering the barman was that he was a known nudist and if his bar survived he’d have to give that stool a thorough cleaning. 

Malice, the slime girl. A rare sight, especially in these lands. Slime girls weren’t common and most stories or things heard about them were foreign by nature. That they lived out in caves and tunnels or rare slime biomes or something. With only the occasional one showing up in swamps. Malice was a troublemaker through and through. Rambunctious, loud, energetic, often ignoring social norms, that sort of thing. She was the match that lit the fuse and the one the barman was watching the most. If there was gonna be any trouble, it’d start there. 

Kaylie, the shapeshifter. No one knew their true form but they were often female, blonde, tall, and human. If there could be an odd one out of the group, surprisingly it’d be them. They weren’t quiet but they weren’t as crazy as malice. They seemed so incredibly normal at first glance but they had been here for half a glass and already they had turned into over a dozen different people for fun and mostly talked to malice about their last adventure. 

Rionheart, the body swapper. Besides being a body swapper, they were most the adventurer like of all of them. A pure female berserker body. Big, handaxe to their side, tall, short cut hair, etc. The barman had seen a few female adventurers like that and it always reminded him of the women back where he grew up. No one did big and tough as well as orc women. But her ability was odd. He hadn’t seen her use it yet but it seemed like she made frequent use of it during quests and missions. How putting someone else into that big and tough of a body was a good idea, he’d never know, but it had worked out so far it seemed. 

The barman sighed, all of his patrons had already fled the second Cacophony had walked in. No one wanted to be caught up in their craziness. They had broken and destroyed more buildings than he had seen and while no accidents had happened yet, well, part of that was probably survival instinct. The flaming pig incident still had them banned from seven different cities alone. As he heard an argument between the four start to start up, he patted his bar, saying goodbye and looked at Kevin. Well, where he was sitting. 

“Pull your own drinks. Pay me tomorrow. I’m going home.” 

“Absolutely.” a voice said. 

The barman walked away, sighing. Sometimes, Chaos comes for you. 

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“I’m telling you! I’m the best shapeshifter!” Said a very drunk slime girl. Malice was boozed up the nines but the rest of her group was too so who cared! Well, maybe not Kevin but that just meant he needed more booze! But first… 

“What are you talking about?! I’m literally a shapeshifter! I can become any person I want.” 

Kaylie was swaying and talking nonsense! How dare they! 

“Nuh uh! You can’t become anyone.” 

“It was one time!” 

“And besides! I can become anything. So I win!” 

“Bah! Only slimy things!” 

“What’s wrong with slimy things huh?!” 

Malice and Kaylie went back and forth for a bit while Kevin sipped a beer, it raising invisibly into the air, before Rionheart spoke up. 

“Wait, ain’t I the best shapeshifter? I can just become of you’s or anyone else! I can just take over and shapeshift or morph into anyone or anything!” 

Malice and Kaylie looked at each other and then back to Rionheart. 

“Doesn’t count!” “No way!” 

That started a whole new argument with the three, before Malice eventually got incensed and ‘stood up’. Now, slime girls are interesting in many, many ways but one of them is their feet. They usually either go full human legs and feet or into a single big mass below the knees. The latter being much more common. Motion can get kinda odd when you realize they don’t have bones or muscles and can thus transform or morph into virtually anything with enough time and practice. Malice was drunk, very drunk, and thus performed a minor miracle. She ‘tripped’. Now slime girls almost never trip, for fairly obvious reasons. They have nothing to trip on. But yet, it is still possible. Malice fell back, briefly becoming a blanket like plane of slime out of sheer panic, and fell right onto Kevin. 

Kevin, for his part, had been quietly drinking and minding his own business when he was suddenly embedded into a slime girl. 

Malice recovered quickly, now making herself much larger to accommodate Kevin, pulling him fully in. She quickly made her slime breathable and then smirked. Kevin was totally naked and enveloped into her slime. Not the first time either but it’s not every day you accidentally fall into having sex. She could feel him pushing against her slime, his cock already beginning to get hard, as she felt herself be poured inside his mouth and lungs, politely not entering certain other holes he had. A slime girl felt things differently than most other races. Anything inside them gave them a sensitive feeling that was distinctly pleasurable. Having a whole person, moving around inside you? Malice suddenly found herself drunk and getting fucked out of her mind and was here for it. 

Kevin however was panicking lightly. Well, for a moment. He had been in this position before, many times, but always in private. Despite what everyone said about him, he wasn’t a pervert. He was invisible and naked, sure, but that was only because life was easier that way. Walking clothes made people more disturbed than someone just being invisible and to make use of his ability he had to take them all off anyway. 

No, as he felt Malice’s slime start to rub against his whole body, go down his throat and lungs and nose, felt his cock start to rise and much more attention be placed on that part of him, he began panicking for two reasons. One, all of his friends were ‘watching’ him have sex and he felt total and complete embarrassment about that. He wasn’t into exhibition! And two, because it was finally happening. He knew, he knew, that one day, something like this would happen. That out of all of their misadventures and crazy antics, one day, this particular day would come. When their insanity became sexual in nature. He had dreaded this day, worrying about waking up with a hangover and looking over and seeing all of them in a single bed together. His worst fears were happening in front of his very eyes while his dick was getting stroked and he couldn’t escape. It was a bittersweet dread. He’d enjoy this but god, the morning was going to be brutal. 

While Malice was grinning triumphantly and enjoying the hell out of herself and Kevin was experiencing horny dread, the other two hadn’t noticed at all. No, what they had seen had been Malice fall backwards, become much bigger, and then grin down at them. 

“Hey! Becoming bigger doesn’t make you better at shapeshifting!” 

“I don’t see you doing it!” 

Kaylie, drunk off their ass, had enough and grabbed Malice’s arm to make the next part easier. She then morphed into a slime girl, into Malice herself! 

Rionheart had a look of pure betrayal on her face. 

“Aw hell no! You ain’t doing me like that!” 

And body swapped with Malice. 

Now, there was a reason that neither of these two events had ever happened before. Why it only happened while the two were drunk off their ass and not thinking straight. Malice had told them never to do it and they had listened because she was serious. Don’t do it, ever. The reason was simple. Slime girl bodies were different. Very very different. The major component is that almost every other race had nerves, but slime girls were essentially all nerves. Every single droplet and smaller experienced the same as a fingertip. There was no empty space or difficulty of feeling something somewhere on their body like in other races. They, quite literally, felt so much more. 

The second these two events happened, Kaylie and Rionheart instantly lost control of their bodies, falling into each other. They had no way to process what they were feeling or experiencing. As Malice suddenly found herself feeling a lot, lot more solid and nearly numb, she watched in horror as her two friends seemed to combine into one, bigger slime. She nearly stepped in, trying to do something before her panic stopped as she saw they were merely temporarily fusing. An innate ability of most slimes and slime girls. She instead watched in fascination as they seemed to full become one being. They were both her, so it made sense, but she had never seen anything like it, even in her homelands. No slime was 100% compatible after all. It was, amazing. 

Kaylie and Rionheart did not think it was amazing. Or, well, maybe they thought it was too amazing. Just from the mere act of existing, they were already overwhelmed by essentially feeling an unending amount of pleasure. As if their whole body, inside and out, had become 100x more sensitive than any other part of their genitalia. It felt like a constant never ending orgasm for them both and that was before you factored in them now combining and feeling Kevin’s entire body moving inside them, amplifying everything much much more. Feeling his hard cock, his whole body, their own bodies seeping inside his own, Kevin feeling like he was in a storm of slime and was panting through it, it had all quickly turned into two mind broken slime girls and one man getting the fucking of a lifetime. 

Malice was pissed. They were having all the fun without her! Being human was really, boring! Solid and dull. It would be the same as a human becoming a rock. Well, whatever! She would make the most of it! 

Malice quickly took off all her clothes, looked back at the giant puddle that were her friends, ran, and jumped into it! She fell in, feeling the slime coating her entire body, giving her a familiar feeling. She grabbed onto Kevin, her weight bringing them closer to the actual floor and decided she might as well try having sex as human. It was difficult to position herself but she pulled and lined herself up, before slamming down onto Kevin’s invisible slimy dick. Kaylie and Rionheart were busy having mindblowing orgasms constantly and Malice was struggling to feel anything at all comparatively. But she was more than making up for it with great enthusiasm as she slammed herself down, again and again and again, while coated on the outside and inside in her own slimy body. 

Kevin, was just enjoying the ride at this point, as he felt himself get fucked and rode and slimed and felt himself be pushed through slime into someone’s vagina. He wasn’t sure what the hell was happening but he was not in control of the situation. He let a small sigh escape between the grunts and moans of pleasure coming out of him. Typical. 

The night was wild, they moved, they fucked, the ball of slime and sex moved and roamed. They knocked over a whole shelf of drinks on top of them, getting them all much more drunk through the slime. No one could say by the end of it exactly what went where or what they had done but they all knew they had an amazing time. 

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Kevin woke up and looked to his right. He saw one slime girl, Kaylie in her normal form, and Rionheart probably in her own body, all passed out and naked. Though Malice and him were always naked. He looked to his left and saw a burnt down bar, flames still smoldering around it. Well, sigh. 

“Yeah, that seems about right.” 

