Chapter 0 - when he wants more

Ike hooks his index finger inside of Soren, earning a muffled whimper from him. Soren muffled himself, knowing that if he hadn’t, he would have let out the most pathetic sound, and they’ve barely even begun. Humiliation is one way to describe how he feels right now, but it isn’t the most accurate description.

Well, he’s humiliated, for sure, but he knows that he shouldn’t be. Ike has assured him as best as he can not to worry about it, that it’s perfectly fine that he wants more, so he knows that he shouldn’t be. And he’s happy with anything that Ike does for him or to him, so he doesn’t want to seem like he’s ungrateful.

More than that, he’s just excited, the anticipation overwhelming him as much as his own arousal.

He wants more, and it’s taken him a long time to admit it. It’s embarrassing to even say, and their relationship has always progressed slowly, but Ike has a particular preoccupation, and this lines up with his own interests as much as it does Soren’s desires. Simply put, Ike is incredibly taken with Soren’s ass, and when it comes to their time spent alone, he spends quite a bit of time indulging in that preoccupation.

Just a fancy way for Soren to think about all the time Ike has spent fingering him and preparing him, and then all the time he’s spent fucking him, which certainly took some work to prepare for. Ike is very...blessed, in some areas, and it was as intimidating as it was exciting. But then, as time went on, and as the intimidation faded, Soren developed a preoccupation of his own.

The intimidation gave way to fascination, and Soren wanted to be able to take more. Which was not something he could easily ask for, nor did he even know how they could go about that. But he spends so much time thinking about it that he begins to fantasize about it, and figure out where to go from there. Though he’s fucked him plenty, he’s rarely used more than two fingers on him, occasionally moving up to three. Four fingers would be a bit of a challenge, and then all five, and then…

Soren fantasized about this more than he would ever be able to admit, and slowly, he manages to get up the nerve to confess to his fantasy. And, as ashamed of himself as he is, Ike is not put off by it at all, and is even enthusiastic about it. Really, Soren thinks, he shouldn’t be surprised. What’s more surprising is that Ike didn’t bring it up first.

And that’s where he is now, with Ike having barely started, and already, Soren is trembling. They’ve gone a little farther a few times before now, but tonight, he doesn’t want to hold back anymore. He wants Ike to go all the way with it, and he squirms, trying to keep himself relaxed despite his growing arousal.

As Ike begins to work a second finger inside of him, Soren bites his lip, trying to hold back another whimper. He hates how needy he always sounds when he moans, how every little noise betrays the calm demeanor he tries to put up, to keep Ike from seeing just how badly he needs him, just how pathetic he really is. No matter how close they get, it will always be difficult for him to really show himself to his lover.

Now with two fingers in him, Ike takes his time to play with him, slowly spreading his fingers apart to earn an audible gasp from Soren. It’s good, it’s so good that Soren has to resist touching himself, and his thighs seem to move of their own accord, clenching a bit to try and alleviate the pressure of his arousal.

As if sensing the meaning behind the sudden movement, Ike says, “You can touch yourself if you want to, just don’t jostle too much,” and Soren blushes, glad that he can’t see his face.

“I-I’m fine,” he mumbles, and Ike gives a soft hum of acknowledgment before spreading his fingers again.

“Alright, but just remember that the offer stands,” Ike replies, his tone growing more distant as he focuses on the task at hand. He scissors his two fingers, spreading and closing, until he can do so rapidly. This goes on for a few breathless moments before he pauses with his fingers spread, and pushes a third finger in.

“A-ah!” Soren cries, knowing that he’s starting to reach the point where his shame won’t be enough to hold him back from making noise. Three was their record once, but they’ve managed four without much difficulty, and nearly managed his thumb. It’s the heel of his hand that will be the real challenge, but they’ve prepared and worked for this, and tonight…

While he is thinking about this, Ike has already worked his pinkie in with minimal effort, and with four fingers buried in Soren, they are nearly there. The anticipation is nearly becoming more than he can bear, and he’s so turned on that it hurts. He wants to touch himself, he needs it, and that need is outweighing his pride. Ike said it was fine, Ike doesn’t care if he looks needy, Ike likes it when he shows how good it is…

Again, he’s glad that Ike can’t see how furiously he’s blushing as he puts a hand between his legs, trying to not jostle the rest of his body too much. He’s all but mastered the art of discreetly masturbating, of doing the absolute bare minimum to get himself off without waking up Ike who slept beside him, who Soren did not want to disturb with how frequently and unreasonably horny he always was.

While he fingers himself, Ike works on fitting his thumb inside of him, and Soren’s mind is all over the place, telling himself to relax, pleasuring himself, dwelling on the anticipation of what’s to come, thinking about Ike, always Ike…

When Ike manages to fit his thumb, the challenge of fitting the whole of his hands begins. Ike’s hands are not small by any means, and no matter how much preparation they may done, it is still a bit of a stretch for Soren to be able to accomodate the size of his hand. Ike’s fingers were already properly slicked with the oil they use, but he pauses to add more to his hand, applying a generous amount before he resumes.

Now, Soren goes completely still, pausing his own movement as he tries to focus on relaxing, and nothing else. He has to force himself not to think about the irony of trying to focus on relaxing, as his overthinking will only make it more difficult.

But trying to remain relaxed is all that he can do, as Ike takes things slow, and, with a gentleness that barely suits him, Ike pushes forward, until he has finally managed to fit the whole of his hand inside Soren. At first, Soren can’t think at all, can hardly breathe, and nearly panics as he steadily realizes that they’re finally there, that Ike has finally done it.

It’s Ike’s voice that brings him back to himself, asking, “That’s not too much is it? Does it hurt?”

Only a little bit, he thinks, but it’s fading, and he likes it more than it hurts, so he doesn’t voice any of that. But, come to think of it, he isn’t even sure if he could voice it, so he only shakes his head, looking over his shoulder for the first time in a while. Ike smiles at him and he ducks his head back down. It’s a little difficult to make eye contact with the man who has his entire hand up his ass.

There is a pause before he moves his hand at all, but then, he begins to curl his fingers and Soren can’t hold back a whimper, seeing stars as Ike balls his hand into a tight fist. He thinks Ike asks him if it’s too much again, so he weakly shakes his head. Ike keeps his hand closed, and Soren has to remind himself how to breath, but his next gasp for breath fades into a loud moan that would have humiliated him if he were in his right mind.

As he is now, he barely registers it at all.

In fact, he barely registers anything, and can hardly respond to any of Ike’s questions, just barely giving him permission to continue whenever he asks. He uncurls his fingers to earn another moan from Soren, and reforms the fist after he’s given him time to adjust, going back and forth and back and forth until it takes little effort, until Soren has completely fallen apart, moaning and whimpering for Ike, all inhibitions forgotten.

He comes harder than he has in some time, nearly forgetting his own name in the process, and by the time he has returned to himself, Ike has begun the slow and careful process of removing his hand. Soren slumps forward, not able to face him just yet; he can think a bit more clearly now, and he’s embarrassed as he recalls his pathetic behavior, but of course, Ike won’t comment on it.

Of course, Ike doesn’t see it as a problem to begin with, finding it all endearing. He gives Soren as much time as he needs to recover, and Soren decides not to let himself get caught up worrying about how needy he might look. As long as Ike is happy, there isn’t any problem, he knows, and if he is going to be completely honest with himself, there’s no problem with him simply enjoying himself.

And so, he rolls over to face Ike, inviting him to continue, and do whatever he may want. 

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