Chapter 0 - research subject

Several years before, the request had been made. Hanneman wasn’t thinking properly when he did it; or rather, he was thinking properly, but only about his own interests, so as always, he was only thinking about Crestology when he made the request. He wasn’t thinking about social implications or Byleth’s boundaries, or anything of the sort when he told her to remove her clothes so that he could do a full physical examination.

Upon seeing Byleth’s shocked face, he finally realized exactly what he had said, and quickly stammered that he would ask Manuela to do that in his stead. She could take the proper notes, and share the information with him so that he could add it to his eternally ongoing research.

Of course, Manuela had turned him down flat, telling him to stop harassing the young professor, and Byleth had slipped away during the ensuring argument. And then the conflict had gotten more intense, and Byleth disappeared for five years, waking up in the middle of the war, and Hanneman’s plans to research her fell by the wayside.

Now that Byleth has returned, she has more pressing matters to attend to, helping her former students through the war, but there are times when Hanneman brings up their old conversations, and how she had always been so willing to help him with his research. She finds comfort in their conversations, in the sense of familiarity she has when talking with Hanneman, and the way he’s able to make her forget the stress of the war whenever they lose themselves in conversation.

She expects him to bring up that old offer, so it comes as no surprise when he asks her, “Do you remember what I said to you when your hair first changed?”

“You wanted to investigate the cause in relation to my Crest,” she replies, and he nods.

“Of course, things got a little awkward there, but I’m still interested in seeing what we can discover there,” he says.

“I’m not sure if there’s any relevant information to be found, considering how long it’s been since it happened.”

“Nonsense, Byleth! There’s always relevant information to be found. And even if it isn’t relevant , information is still information,” he says. “I still have so many questions about you that need answering, and I’m not sure how much my research can progress from this point on, if we stick to only discussing things.”

“So you’re saying you still want to physically examine me?” she asks, not able to stop herself from blushing as she voices it. She would be lying to herself if she said that her mind didn’t go a multitude of less than proper, less than professional places when talking about something like that.

“I’d still be alright with you letting someone else do that part for me, and take notes,” he quickly replies. “If not Manuela, then Annette might be able to. She’s been studying under me for some time now and is always eager to take on extra work…”

“No, I think you’ll be just fine for the job,” says Byleth, before he can suggest anyone else and before she can lose her nerve.

“You...oh, you...do?” asks Hanneman, looking surprised. “Well, while I’m not sure what brought the change of heart on, I’m certainly not going to deny such a perfect opportunity!”

“I’m just not sure if you can really get the answers you want looking over someone else’s notes,” she replies, and though that’s not entirely true, it’s as good a reason as any, and one that Hanneman readily accepts.

They agree on a time during a free day, when neither have any other responsibilities to interrupt them, and Byleth tries not to let herself get nervous while she waits for the day to approach. It will certainly be a strange and uncomfortable situation, but she has her reasons for allowing Hanneman to do something like that to her, not least of all because she genuinely wants to aid him in his research. Especially since discovering that he’s a little self-conscious when it comes to not having much to talk about outside of Crestology, and she wants to make sure he knows that she’s genuine when she says that she’s interested in hearing about it from him.

Another reason is because she does want answers, and this may be the only way she’s ever going to get them. If there’s anyone she can trust, it’s Hanneman, and the arrangement is mutually beneficial. Her final reason might make it a bit more strange that she wants to let him clinically examine her naked body, but she doesn’t let that stop her. Whether it makes sense or not, it doesn’t really matter.

~X~

Once the agreed upon date is upon them, Byleth arrives at Hanneman’s office. He lets her in, shutting and locking the door behind them. She notices a cot set up that he must have borrowed from the infirmary so that she would have somewhere comfortable to lay while he examines her.

“I can go over the details of what I’ll be looking for today, if that would make you more comfortable,” he says.

“No, you don’t need to do that,” she says. “It would probably go over my head either way, but I trust you. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.”

“Very well. You...know what to do next, I’m assuming,” he says, and has the decency to awkwardly look away, even though he’ll be getting an up-close look at her soon.

Byleth wastes no time in removing her clothes, shivering once she’s completely exposed. She lays down on her back, and says, “Alright, I’m...ready.”

To his credit, Hanneman keeps thinking completely professional as he turns back around and comes over to her. Byleth tries to keep from blushing, but fails. She looks somewhere off to the side, wondering how long this is going to take. Every time his hand brushes over her, she feels hot all over, but specifically wherever he’s touched her, as if the heat concentrates and radiates from that point.

She knew this was going to happen if she went through with this. After all this time, her attraction to him hasn’t faded one bit, and no matter how clinical his touches may be, the fact remains that she is naked and he is touching her, and she can’t help getting excited, her body reacting all on its own. She tries to keep any reaction out of her face or body language, but Hanneman is in a world of his own, as he always is when thinking about his favorite topic.

All this time, she has tried to avoid her feelings for him. There’s the matter of the age difference, for one thing, and she isn’t sure how to approach someone who may see her as a child, despite them holding the same position at the same school. On top of that, she wouldn’t know how to approach him if they were the exact same age, because her time as a mercenary didn’t exactly give her many social graces, and she’s had to pick them up over time. Romance and the like was never something her father taught her anything about, that’s for sure.

Finally, she is afraid that if she were to try to pursue him, he would remind her that the only reason he’s interested in her is because she possesses a rare crest. Not because he likes her so much as a person, not because she’s impressed him with her wit or personality or whatever it is men like him are interested in, not because she’s exceptionally beautiful, but because she has a crest that he wants to study, and he has to be nice to her to be able to do that. Even knowing that that is more than likely the case, she doesn’t want to hear him say anything like that out loud.

So she has kept her feelings to herself, and finally agreed to taking part in this research because she cares about him and wants to help him, and because she’ll be able to be close to him in some way, even if he’s only looking at her as a test subject. It’s all she’ll ever have, so she has to be content with it, and enjoy it while it lasts. Though not so much that it’s obvious that she’s enjoying it.

“Byleth…” His voice snaps her out of his thoughts, and she realizes that he no longer has that faraway look in his eyes that he gets when talking about Crests.

“Yes?” she asks, her voice coming out hoarse from not speaking for some time.

“This probably isn’t the best time for this, but I actually have a confession to make. Regarding...well, a lot of things,” he says. “Mainly, I haven’t been entirely honest in my reasons for being so interested in you in particular.”

Byleth isn’t sure what to make of what he’s saying. He’s made it very obvious what about her interests him. What could he possibly have lied about?

“The truth is, I’ve used a lot of this as an excuse. Of course, it didn’t start out as one, and I’ll always genuinely be interested in your Crest and the effects that it has on you, but that hasn’t been all there is to my intentions in a very long time,” he says. “When we were co-workers, it was one thing, but after losing you for so long...after thinking I would never get to see you again…”

He trails off, and Byleth speaks up. “Hanneman, I...what are you saying?”

“You might hate me for this, but I’ve used all of this as an excuse to get closer to you.”

Byleth blinks up at him. She doesn’t know what to say, when his statement was so unbelievable yet so genuine, and she can see in his face that he isn’t lying. But she was always sure that she was the one using his research as an excuse, and that he had no other interest in her.

“I don’t…”

“I care about you as much more than a test subject, Byleth. And this is the worst way to go about getting closer to you, but I...well, I didn’t know what else to do. But I can’t keep running from my feelings, can I?”

He doesn’t give her a chance to answer before he continues. “I don’t blame you if you’re upset with me, but I just wanted to-”

Byleth knows that if she doesn’t interrupt him, then she won’t have a chance to speak at all. She sits up while he’s trying to explain himself, grabbing him by the collar and pulling his face close enough to hers that she can shut him up. Any resistance Hanneman might have had crumbles when he feels her lips on his, and he takes over, pushing her onto her back and climbing on top of her. She’s glad that the cot is sturdy enough to support their combined weights, but then that thought is far from her mind as his hand begins drifting lower.

He gropes her and she whimpers, and for a moment, that snaps him out of things and he breaks the kiss. “I’m sorry, I don’t...I don’t know what came over me there, but I really shouldn’t-”

Again, Byleth kisses him, not allowing him to continue, but he pulls back soon after. “I suppose that means you don’t agree? Or, maybe I should say, you want me to continue, correct?”

“I’ve wanted this for a long time,” she replies. “I don’t want to miss this chance.”

“Then we can talk later,” he says simply, giving in once and for all. He fumbles with his pants while he resumes kissing her, and when his hand returns to her chest, she can feel the heat of his erection against her. She moans pathetically into his mouth, all of the tension that’s been building since he first had her strip becoming too much for her to bear.

Honestly, though she’s fantasized about this, it’s been hard to imagine Hanneman as someone particularly impulsive or passionate, but perhaps waiting so long has left him pent up enough to throw caution to the wind. Whatever the case, things are moving quickly now, and he lays down against her, kissing down her neck while moving his hand down between her legs.

He can feel how wet she’s gotten, just from what they’ve done so far, and when he works one of his fingers inside of her, she cries out so suddenly that she blushes. Hanneman doesn’t seem to mind, encouraged by it, and she squirms under him as he teases her with it, before working a second finger inside of her. His touch is so different from her own, more precise, with experience behind it, though she’s sure it’s been some time since he’s put that experience to use.

Even so, it’s exceptional when compared to the clumsy progress she’s made on her own over the years, and just when she thinks she can’t take much more, he stops short, pulling his hand back and propping himself up again.

“Now, you’re sure you’re ready for this, aren’t you?” he asks.

“Yes,” she replies simply, and he smiles down at her, positioning himself so that he can begin to press inside of her with a gentle thrust.

“It’s been quite some time for me,” he murmurs, “so I hope I don’t disappoint.”

“I-I’ve never,” she mumbles, wincing a bit.

“Oh! Well, then, I’ll make sure to be gentle,” Hanneman replies, going still for a moment to allow her a chance to get used to the new sensation and to get used to having him inside of her.  Byleth takes deep breaths, trying to get rid of any unnecessary tension. It’s hard to relax when she subconsciously resists any pain, but she does her best, just letting herself enjoy this.
Hanneman holds himself up, only lowering himself once he’s sure that she take more, and just like that, he begins to bury himself inside of her. His self-control is impressive, and no matter how out of practice he may claim to be, he seems to be able to perfectly sense just how much she can take at a time, and when she’s ready for more. Slow and calculated, just like she would expect from somebody like him.

And there is love in his expression all the while, so different from the faraway and clinical look he had while examining her. How long has his research been an excuse, she wonders. Before she disappeared, it seems, but how long before that? She can barely remember exactly when it was that she fell for him, but it was gradual, and by the time she finally admitted it to herself, it was far too late to be able to do anything about it.

But she never would have thought he was hiding similar feelings for her. All this time, she was sure that, if she didn’t possess a rare Crest, if she didn’t possess a Crest at all, he would have stopped interacting with her at that, but now she wonders, if she hadn’t had one, would pursuing him have been enough to win him over? If it was all an excuse, would he have found another excuse to get to know her?

Out of practice or not, he knows what he is doing, every movement speaking to his previous experience. She is glad to have someone like him to help her through this, and though they’ve both taught alongside each other, now he is teaching her. He begins to move, thrusting into her when she is able to take it, and she begins moaning, louder and louder as he goes. For a moment, she is afraid someone passing by his office might overhear, but then, as he fucks her, she loses the ability to think clearly at all, and forgets her concerns entirely.

“How’s that?” he asks her breathlessly, after a moment.

“It’s good,” she manages to gasp out, hardly able to speak at all.

“There’s a good girl,” he replies in a gentle tone, and she whimpers, arching her back in response to his praise. She wants more and doesn’t know any other way to express it, but he seems to take the hint, picking up speed with his thrusts and falling into a quick rhythm.

Her breathing becomes erratic as she gasps out for him, incoherent in her moans and shouts. She grows closer with each thrust, working her hips against his in her impatience, until she can’t take it anymore, crying out pathetically once more as she tips over the edge. And as she comes, she is so overwhelmed with pleasure that she barely notices him joining her, nearly collapsing on top of her with a soft grunt.

It is quiet save for their breathing, both of them panting in their shared afterglow, and Hanneman slowly moves off of her laying close beside her and pulling her close to his body. Byleth is content like this, not concerned with anything that might be going on in the world. For just right now, nothing outside of his office matters to her, and the only thing she cares about is the man at her side.

After a moment of laying together like that, just cuddling one another and catching their breath, Hanneman speaks up. “I tried to hide from my feelings for a while, you know. For so long, I tried to convince myself that it really was just your Crest I was interested in. It would be terribly unprofessional for me to...well, I’m sure you understand the implications of all of that.”

“I didn’t think you would be interested in me for a lot of those reasons,” she replies. “I’m so happy that I was wrong.”

“And I’m happy that I was wrong about you. There were a lot of things I thought you might find too off-putting about me…”

“But those are the things that I find endearing,” she confesses, and he smiles.

“Then I’m so glad I invited you to be my research subject,” says Hanneman. “Otherwise, we might have never been able to admit to our feelings.” 

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