Chapter 20 - generosity is a virtue v2 (Ladd x Lua)

“You’re too good to me,” Ladd says, first thing in the morning. He’s always said it, but he’s been saying it a lot lately.

Getting used to sleeping in new places has always been difficult for him, and he’s had to make adjustments like that a lot over the recent years. Now that he’s out, he’s had to not only adjust to what it’s like to fall asleep in New York, but to fall asleep with someone at his side again, and to fall asleep while knowing that a bad move from either of them could result in her getting hurt.
Learning to fall asleep with his prosthetic was hard enough the first time, but it’s harder when he has to worry about her, on top of everything else. She has to deal with his inability to sleep and with that potential risk and with the fact that he isn’t the same as he used to be, and she really is far too good to him. Far better than he deserves, but he’s always known that.

“Morning,” she replies, her voice hardly audible. She pushes backwards, pressing her body closer to his, and he knows that she has only one concern on her mind, not caring a bit about his own concerns at the moment. Well, she’s always been incredibly needy in the morning, not that he’s one to talk. Getting used to sleeping alone again was one thing, but getting used to waking up alone was a different pain altogether.

“Like I said,” he continues, wrapping his arm around her, wasting no time in cupping one of her breasts, giving her a teasing squeezes that earns him a soft gasp from her. “You really are too good to me.”

A lot of thoughts fill his mind that he doesn’t voice, about how generous she’s always been, giving him the time of day when she’s clearly out of his league, how she’s even willing- no, eager - to give him her life, and waits for him even when it becomes difficult, even when she doesn’t have to. She’s way to good to him, and way too good for him, but she doesn’t want to hear that right now, doesn’t care a bit about his insecurities or praise.

“Ladd,” she breathes, and he brushes his thumb across her nipple.

“You really love that, huh?” he teases. “I could get you off without even trying. I bet if I just kept this up and kept whispering sweet nothings in your ear, I could. Like maybe listing different ways I could kill you…”

She squirms, and he grins to himself. In the past, it would have been even easier; he could finger her while he teased at her breasts, and if he coupled that with a few vivid descriptions of her own death, she would have been absolute putty in his hands. It’s not that it’s difficult now, he just remembers how easy it could have been if he had two functional hands, and he is reminded once again that Lua really is too good for him.

She has always been too beautiful for him, probably the most beautiful woman in the world, though he isn’t sure how much of that is his bias. Probably most of it, but it’s hard for him to imagine anyone more beautiful than her, and it’s hard to imagine why she would let herself be seen in public with someone as average, almost ugly, as him. Of course, anyone would look ugly standing next to her.

His imperfections seem to grow by the day, while she only seems more perfect in comparison. He feels more monstrous than ever alongside her, and somehow, for whatever reason, she sees that as all the more reason to stay by his side. She is so giving, too good to him, and he does his best to give back, and make this worth the effort that she’s been putting in.

“You’re so, so good to me, baby, but that’s why I’m so good to you,” he murmurs, pinching her nipple, and pulling her tight against him so that she can feel how much he wants her. “Not good enough yet, though, am I?”

“Not yet,” she says, and he can imagine the way she must be pouting right now.

“Yeah, yeah, I know, you won’t be satisfied until I slit your throat, right?” He nips at her ear and she squirms again, letting him know how easily that works on her. “Or maybe you want me to go for the chest? A quick stab, piercing your heart just like that? You’d like that a lot, wouldn’t ya, doll?”

“ Ladd ,” she practically whines, and it’s hard to tell if she’s urging him to go ahead and do everything he’s saying he can do, or if she just wants him to hurry up and fuck her already. More than likely both, and while he can’t deliver on the former at the moment, the latter is not a problem in the slightest.

After only a few weeks back together, he’s a comfortable fit again, with her not needing much preparation to be able to fully take him. Though this isn’t the most comfortable position for either of them, she’s always liked it, though he wishes he could have had her turn to face him, or maybe laid back with her riding him. Either way, he’s not one to complain about a little bit of discomfort when he’s got Lua wrapped around him, and can feel every pulse and shudder of her desire.

“You’re so perfect,” he mumbles right against the back of her neck, and she whimpers. “I wish I could kill you over and over and over again.” As it is, she’s already close just from how he teased her earlier, and this teasing only pushes her closer. She’ll be easy this morning, and he wonders if she had already been up to something before he woke up to notice.

Or maybe he’s just that good, and maybe it’s easier to repay her for how good she is to him than he thought.

Whatever the case may be, it doesn’t take him long to get her to come, and he can never hold back after he’s gotten her there, no matter how hard he may try. After all, he can barely beat her to begin with, having much less endurance in that regard, but once she’s there, he really doesn’t have any reason for holding out to begin with.

This is just the start to their day, and the first of many times that he will be struck by how wonderful she is, and how much he doesn’t deserve her, but Lua is too good to him, and even though she’s too good for him, she continues to stay by his side, waiting for her chance to give over her life to him. She really is too generous, he thinks. 