Chapter 0 - a sense of togetherness

It’s been building for longer than she cares to admit, but it’s gotten so much worse lately. In general, her life has gotten better, but the separation has honestly made her feelings for him even more intense, and though she’s been able to resist for so long, now, she doesn’t want to anymore. Now, she wants to act on her feelings, if only so they won’t feel so distant.

Byleth has been so isolated for most of her life that, when she began to develop more mature desires, something went astray, and with few regular people in her life, she latched onto her father in a way that she, even with her limited knowledge, knew was in a way that she shouldn’t have. She’s always known that it’s wrong, but for years now, her feelings for her father have gone far beyond familial.

And, ever since coming to the monastery, she’s been around more people than just him and the mercenaries she never built any bonds with, and spent less time with her father, who used to be the only constant in her life. This should have helped cure her desires, but instead, it’s only made things worse for her. She can’t help but compare the people she meets to her father, and no one ever comes close, and she misses him whenever they aren’t together.

It’s becoming impossible to deal with; whenever she sees a parent and child together, she misses the warm childhood she never really had- not that he didn’t try, but neither of them are particularly expressive- and whenever she sees a pair of lovers, she imagines them together. When she first met Alois, she tried a joke, calling Jeralt a stranger- which he didn’t like very much- but sometimes, she wishes that they could pretend that they were, that no one else here knew that he was her father, because then, maybe they could…

Of course, he would have to forget that he was her father too, wouldn’t he?

Byleth adjusts to her new life as much as she can, and she definitely enjoys being at the monastery, but it’s still stressful, teaching a group when she is used to keeping to herself, and being sent out on missions where she has to look after more than just herself. And, throughout all of that, Jeralt is out on missions so often that they barely have any time for each other, and her father is becoming like a stranger to her.

That is why, one night, she finally breaks. Years of resisting her desires crumble because of how badly she misses him, and when it’s dark and she knows she has little chance of running anyone important, she slips out of her own room, looking for him. She finds him in his office, still up and working, and lets herself in quietly.

He looks up, used to her nearly silent movements, and smiles. “Hey, kid. What’s got you up at this hour?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” she replies, and he laughs.

“Got me there,” he says, shaking his head. “The work has been piling up lately for everyone. I’m sure you’re feeling that too, right?”

She nods, stepping further into the room and closing the door behind her. He’s been drinking, she can tell that much, but that isn’t much different than usual. It’s never affected his work enough to present a problem, but tonight, she hopes it might affect his judgment enough to allow her this chance. If he’s stressed with work, he’s probably been drinking a little more heavily than usual- which is still incredibly heavy for the average man- so if any night is good, tonight is.

“Did you need something?” he asks. “I’m pretty much done, but I can always take a break, or pick up where I left off in the morning.”

“I just missed you,” she answers honestly, and his face softens.

“It really has been busy since we got here. Maybe we can get out soon, take some family time. Things are really piled up right now, but maybe when we calm down, I can talk Lady Rhea into assigning us on some really mundane field work, just you and me. Just like old times.” Jeralt gives her a warm smile than she returns. “I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to seeing you smile like that, kid.”

She stops, self-conscious, and he stands. “No, no, it’s not a bad thing. It looks good on you, I’m just used to you being a little more stoic. No thanks to my expert parenting, am I right?” he asks, closing the distance between them. “I miss you too, Byleth.” He's never been particularly touchy-feely, so she knows he must be drunk to wrap his arms around her, pulling her close to his chest and hugging her, for the first time in many, many years.

It’s a more perfect opportunity than she could have imagined for herself, and, though she stiffens at first in surprise, she relaxes into it, and wraps her arms around him as well, nuzzling her face against his shoulder. His soft laughter creates a low rumble in his chest, and she wishes that they could stay like this forever, but that’s impossible, especially if she is going to get what she wants next.

“You’re affectionate tonight,” he teases, and she doesn’t reply, nuzzling him again and inhaling, taking in his familiar scent. “Kid? Are you alright.”

“I am,” she says softly. “This is nice.”

“Well, I’m glad, but…” He trails off, unsure of what to say, and she can feel his grip relaxing, while she tightens her own hold on him. She can imagine what he must be thinking right now, trying to justify her behavior and turn it into something platonic, when it is becoming increasingly more clear that “platonic” is not her goal at all. Now, all she has to do is drive the point home, and pray that he gives in to the temptation.

She pulls back from the hug, looking him in the eyes, seeing the confusion in his face, and before he has a chance to react, she her face up, and gently presses her lips against his. Their first kiss is soft and gentle, and Jeralt goes completely tense, stunned into silence, and allowing her another chance to kiss him, this time for a little longer.

As she pulls back, he whispers, “What are you…” against her lips, but he doesn’t finish the question. She stares up at him, trying to communicate it with just her eyes, and still, Jeralt can barely move. Clearing his throat, he finally says, “Kid...not making fun of you or anything but...you know what that is, right?”

“I kissed you,” she replies in a small voice, and he clenches his eyes shut for a moment before opening them again.

“Yeah, yeah, you definitely did that. And you know that isn’t really how family…”

“I know,” she answers, and he doesn’t stop her from kissing him again. In fact, not only does he not stop her from kissing him and from deepening the kiss, but he allows it, and begins to kiss her back. One of his hands finds the back of her head, while the other rests on the small of her back, and she presses her body close to his.

This is what she’s been waiting for all these years; this is what she’s been fantasizing about, despite knowing better. She loves him, in a way that a daughter shouldn’t love her own father, and she needs him now more than ever. It’s been so hard, adjusting to life without him, so the only cure is to be closer to him than she ever has.

When he finally breaks the kiss, he asks her outright, “Just what the hell are you thinking, Byleth?”

“We’re family,” she answers. “You’re all I have, and I love you.”

“Hell of a way to express it.” He groans. “What am I thinking ? I should send you off, we should forget about this, you should spend a lot more time away from me, I shouldn’t even be allowed near you after I…”

“Please don’t send me away, daddy,” she says, and Jeralt freezes.

“What...what was that?” His voice is weak, and she can understand why. Never in her life has she ever called him that before. It’s always been “father,” sometimes “dad” or “papa” when she was little and father was a little too difficult, but for more than a decade, it’s always been father. Never “daddy”.

In fact, she picked it up in town, seeing a parent a child and listening to their conversation. She knew then and there that it wasn’t something she was supposed to turn erotic, and, given her feelings for her father, it was only a matter of time before she did just that. For some time, she’s wanted to try it out, but she’s waited for it, and now, it hits him hard.

“I said...please don’t send me away, daddy,” she repeats, staring up at him while he tries to avoid direct eye contact. “I already miss you so much, I don’t want to be apart anymore.”

“Damn it, Byleth, I…” He sighs in defeat. “I said that I should, but I never said that I would .” He is the one to kiss her this time, pulling her in as his lips crash over hers, and she presses her hips against him, feeling his erection for the first time. There’s no doubt in her mind that this is going exactly how she wants it to.

He pushes her back, so that she is sitting on his desk, breaking the kiss and pulling at her shorts. She helps him help her out of them, and her tights as well, and then he kisses her again, harder this time while dropping a hand between her legs. There have been many sleepless nights, where she had to essentially teach herself how to do this, at first not even realizing what it was she was doing. His touch is experienced, with none of the clumsiness she had when she first began to practice, but it stands to reason that he knows what he’s doing.

All those years of trying to figure her body out with no real knowledge, with no idea how to do it or what she was trying to do, would have been so much easier if only he’d been able to help her, she thinks. He’s always been there for her, always taught her everything he could, so it should have only been natural that he helped her through this as well. It’s a little late, but she appreciates it all the same, moaning into the kiss as her father fingers her.

She isn’t sure how long this goes on for, simultaneously feeling like it goes on for hours and like it ends too soon, but the next time he pulls back from kissing her, his breathing is heavy, and he is looking at her in a way that she has never seen before. He pulls his hand back to tug at his pants, and she whines, missing his touch immediately.

“What’s wrong?” he asks in a soft voice she’s only heard from him a handful of times.

“It just...hurts,” she says. “Without you touching me.”

“It hurts, huh? Well, just sit back and let daddy take care of that for you.” With his pants out of the way, he gets closer to her, standing in front of the desk with the head of his cock right up against her. He is so warm and she shivers only from excitement, aching for him.

Jeralt hesitates for a moment, and asks her, “Are you sure you want this, kid? I-I know it might be a little late to ask that but...once we’ve gone all the way, there’s no going back.”

She’s surprised he can think with enough clarity to give her one last out, when he fell prey to her so easily, but then, maybe he’s been wanting this all along too. Maybe it wasn’t nearly as much work to win him over as she thought it was. Whatever the case, she nods before saying, “Please don’t make me wait anymore.”

Any lingering doubts he may have crumble at this point, and his hips move forward as he slowly sinks into her. There is more discomfort than anything else at first, but he’s gentle with her, cupping the side of her face in one of his hands and taking his time, murmuring, “Just relax, baby, it’ll feel good if you relax.”

It’s hard to relax when her body tries to tense, but she takes deep breaths, and slowly, he is able to fit himself inside of her, and slowly, the pain and discomfort dissipate, until she doesn’t feel them at all. She whimpers softly, and he asks her how she’s holding up. “It’s good,” she murmurs, and Jeralt smiles.

“That’s my girl,” he replies, and she feels a surge of pride. No matter what they’re doing, she’ll always treasure when he praises her. “Still so weird, seeing you so expressive. I’m glad...you’re so beautiful like this…”

His hand falls from her face and he embraces her, pulling her tight against him as he begins working his hips against hers. She rests her head on his shoulder and he does the same, his lips close to her ear as he groans, praising her again from time to time, while she whimpers for him. This is what she’s been longing for, what she’s spent nights trying to fantasize about while she figured out exactly what it was that she wanted, and even after she understood, she could never have imagined something that measured up to the real thing.

Byleth has been alone for the majority of her life, except for this man, and she loves him. She couldn’t imagine sharing a bond like this with anyone else, even as she gets used to interactions with others and builds relationships around the monastery; no one will ever mean as much to her as her father.

“You’re doing so good,” he murmurs to her, some strain in his voice. She’s been close for a while now, and his words push her further, until she can’t hold back anymore. As if sensing this, he says, “It’s all right...go ahead, daddy’s got you.”

She’s done in then, coming harder than she ever has on her own, harder than she’s ever even been close to, and she is so dazed that she barely notices him joining her with a final thrust and a groan. He lets go of her so that he can plant his hands on the desk, support himself while he catches his breath, and she nuzzles against his shoulder again so that she can continue to inhale his scent while she catches her own breath. It is a long time before either of them speak.

“I really should get back to work,” he says, “not that I can probably focus after all that. Maybe tomorrow...I can get up early…”

“I should go back to my room,” Byleth says, but she doesn’t move, wanting to stay close to him for as long as she can. If she leaves, it may feel as if it never happened, and once she leaves, she will be back to her ordinary life until she can steal another moment with her father, if he will even allow such a thing to happen again.

“Say, kid…” He pauses. “Do you want to spend the night with me?”

And just like that, she forgets any of her concerns about where this is going. She loves him so much, and nothing will ever change that. “Thank you,” she says.

“Don’t mention it. Like you said...you miss me. We shouldn’t be apart so much.” 


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