Chapter 0 - strength and simplicity

Robin is happy.

It’s been a difficult road, but at the end of it all, she can truly say that she is happy. That is the simplest way to put it, but nothing is ever completely simple, and there is more beneath the surface, and being happy all the time is impossible. But, for the most part, she can say that she is happy, no matter how simple or how complicated her life may be.

Walhart certainly adds to that complication, though there is a simplicity to their love, in the blunt way he expresses his feelings and cares for her, as always, preferring to show everything he can through strength. Their battles are fewer and further between now, but he takes every opportunity to protect her, and when he can’t do that, he relies on the smaller things, like helping her grab something out of reach, carrying things for her, and sometimes carrying her , if he’s in a particularly affectionate mood.

Not that anyone on the outside would ever perceive Walhart as particularly affectionate. No, that’s something that Robin has learned to read into, as they’ve grown closer. It was quite the shock to everyone when the two first went public with their relationship, but with how Walhart has assisted their group and with the trust everyone has in Robin, soon their relationship was accepted. Even Chrom gave them his blessing.

So now they are going to be married, joining their lives even further, and Walhart shows his affection through his strength, serving his soon-to-be wife in whatever way that he can. But not everything is that simple, and there are things that Robin struggles to tell him, things that he cannot fix with his strength, things that she is not sure he can even fix at all.

She doesn’t know what to say or where to start, so she keeps it all to herself.

~X~

Most of her life before waking up in a strange field is a mystery, and she builds a new life for herself, building from the point where her amnesia began. She remembers little things, like her name and how to fight, and…

Most of her memories don’t come back to her at first, but rather, over time, and most of them are not clear, just snatches of things too vague to latch onto, but too realistic, too vivid, to just be dreams. And, for the most part, none of these memories are particularly happy ones. Her father, as she knows, was not exactly fatherly, but the more she uncovers about her “purpose”...

She can feel hands on her, she can see faces of men she doesn’t know, and she isn’t sure if that’s because she hasn’t recovered enough memories, or if it’s because this was her only encounter with them. But then...but then...even when her eyes close in her memory, that doesn’t shut out the feelings, and she’s terrified, time and again, and she hurts and he doesn’t care, he never cares, time and again, and her father tells her that this is just how it has to be.

Why is that how it has to be? Again, she isn’t sure if she just doesn’t remember the reason behind it, or if her father ever gave her one. The more she uncovers, the less she feels like she knows, and she wishes, more than anything, that she didn’t have to know this part. She was fine knowing nothing of her past, she was fine without any of her memories, and she wants to forget it all again.

With her marriage growing closer, and with her relationship with Walhart showing no sign of slowing, she can’t forget it all. Things are nice with him, and she knows that if she were to just let things go, then it would be fine, and he wouldn’t be anything like that. Maybe he isn’t the most gentle of men, but he’s still...they’re still…

She doesn’t want to be afraid of him, but she’s starting to realize that she is, and it’s all she can do to keep that feeling to herself.

Robin is happy, but things are not that simple, and she is afraid.

~X~

To his credit Walhart does not make a lot of moves in that direction, and what he does is subtle enough that she can brush it off without seeming like she’s outright rejecting him. She isn’t sure how she’s going to manage that on the wedding night, but for the time being, it seems to be working. Or, at least, she thinks that he hasn’t noticed, but then, there comes another night where he walks in on her, studying late at night.

This has become something of a pattern for the two of them, and she knows where this is going. As her work comes to a close, she will turn her attention to her husband-to-be, they will start a mostly empty conversation that will lead to him kissing her, and just when his hands start to move below her shoulders, she will break the kiss, and continue the conversation like nothing happened, or make a remark about how tired she is and how she should probably get to sleep soon.

That is how she thinks it will go tonight, but when she pulls back the first time, Walhart quickly pulls her back in. His hands start to drop again, so she pulls back out of the kiss, and he frowns, asking, “Is something the matter?”

“No, nothing! It’s just getting late, so I should probably-”

“Robin, how long are you going to do this?” he asks bluntly.

Still, she tries to pretend like she doesn’t understand. “Do what? I’m just pretty tired, so I should definitely-”

“Robin.” His voice is more firm this time and, though she knows she shouldn’t be, she is afraid. “If you are going to reject me at every turn, I believe I have the right to know why that is.”

“I’m not rejecting you!” she protests quickly. “I mean...rejecting you...in what way?”

“You’re not very good at lying about this, are you?” he asks, and his face softens a little bit...or at least, as much as it can, considering his general expression. “I just want to know what it is that makes you resist me every time we reach this point. If you want to say no, that’s all you have to say, but...I do want to know why.”

“I don’t...I can’t...I don’t know why,” she mumbles, not sure if she’s ready to have this conversation with him, or if she’ll ever be ready.

“Is it me?”

“No! No, it isn’t you, it’s just…” She hangs her head. “I don’t know how to explain it, I just remember...I just... remember .”

“What is it that you remember, Robin?”
“I’m afraid,” she says softly, and he comes closer, holding by the shoulders again.

“Who are you afraid of?” he asks. “What are you afraid of? What do I have to do to eliminate your fear? Unless…” Just as quickly, he lets go of her and pulls back again. “Are you afraid of me?”

“I’m not...not of you, not really,” she replies. “It’s stupid, I know.”

“It’s hard for me to judge whether or not it’s stupid when you still haven’t really explained it,” he says, and she thinks that is his attempt at humor. She offers a small laugh, surprised that it’s genuine.

“It’s hard for me to talk about.”

“Are you able to try? I really just want to understand what’s going on.”

“You know...about my past.”

“I know that there isn’t much to know, yes,” says Walhart, giving her a look that encourages her to continue.

“Sometimes I remember things, just little things, usually without any context,” she explains. “Usually it doesn’t make much sense, but sometimes that doesn’t matter, I can still...understand. And I have these memories that keep coming up where I’m with...men.”

“Men that you were with before?” he asks.

“Not quite, at least, I don’t think it’s as simple as that. I remember my father, telling me that I...that I had to do this, it was the way it had to be. So these men, they would...and I would...and…” She hears her own voice break; her throat hurts, and she doesn’t know when she started to tear up, but now, she is close to crying.

For a moment, she almost forgets that Walhart is there, her own fears creeping up on her yet again, but then he shifts, and she is brought back to herself. The look on his face is hard to read, and would be scary on its own, but it is not hard for her to figure out why he looks the way he does. He doesn’t have to say it; he is trying to figure out if there is some way for him to hurt these unknown men, and if that would really help the situation in the first place.

“Robin…” he finally says, but then he falls silent again. He doesn’t seem to know what to say, and she can’t blame him for that, not with the massive bomb she’s just dropped on him. “I don’t…” After clearing his throat, he continues, “I don’t know what I can do to help you, but if we never...if we have to stay how we are...I would never push you. You understand that, right?”

It’s odd to see him in this light; he’s awkward, trying to get his point across, and he could never appear gentle, even if he tried, but she gets the feeling that’s what he is going for, and it eases her worries, at least for the moment. At least enough for her to be able to say, “I don’t want that to be the case. I do want...that sort of thing, with you. Someday, I mean...I don’t want to have to be afraid forever.”

“Are you sure?” he asks. “I know that you might feel some pressure, with how your friends are settling down and having children, but with us, there does not have to be any pressure.”

“It’s not that I feel pressure from that,” she says, and that’s true. While that is something that’s been on her mind as well, wondering why she has to be behind the others, that is not her top concern. “I do want...you. I want to be able to do those things with you, without having to worry about anything else. I love you, and...I want you.”

“Robin, I just want you to know that it is incredibly difficult for me to remember that I have to hold back when you say things like that to me,” he replies.

“And there’s a part of me that doesn’t want you to.”

“Robin…”

“I just don’t know where to start, or what I have to do to make it so I don’t freak out.”

“I’m definitely not an expert,” he starts, “but maybe if we just took things very slow, you might be able to ease yourself into it?”

“Do you think we could try that?”

“It will be very difficult for me, but I’m strong. If I couldn’t even hold myself back, what kind of conqueror would I be?” Once again, she is pretty sure that this is his attempt at humor, and she appreciates it.

“Then let’s take it slow,” she agrees, and they spend the rest of their night together doing what she is already comfortable, until they tire themselves out, and fall asleep in each other’s arms.

~X~

For a few more days, that is still all that she can do, but then, as time goes on, he begins to touch her more and more, lower and lower. She still has moments of panic, where she sees things that she does not want to see, but eventually, they get to a point that she is able to relax if they dial things back a little bit, until they can continue, and bit by bit, she and her husband-to-be conquer her body and her fears.

They make it so close just before the wedding, and so, on their wedding night, they hope to be able to take it all the way. The day is so busy that Robin barely has a chance to think about what awaits her when she and her husband are alone, so she doesn’t have a chance to worry about it, or get herself prematurely freaked out. Things have gone smoothly so far, as Walhart has been patient with her and given her the chance to build trust and teach herself to enjoy the things she wants so much to enjoy.

And then they are alone, and waste no time in getting into things. Walhart has a fierce side in these matters, something that does not come as a surprise, but he forces it back, hesitating any time his control starts to slip. Robin thinks that one day, she will come to like that fiercer side of him, but for now, she is grateful that he doesn’t overwhelm her with it. He tries his best to be gentle as he kisses and touches her, getting her undressed in the process.

In the past, they’ve managed to get her completely nude, but he has yet to make it to that point, and tonight she can’t help but stare as he finishes undressing. If he notices her stare and her flushed cheeks, he does not comment before he resumes kissing her, slowly easing her onto her back. She is no longer a stranger to his touch, and the night before, they even made it so far that she felt his hand between her legs, so today, she relaxes, letting herself think only of him as he teases her with one of his fingers.

Robin squirms, squeaking slightly when he presses that finger inside of her, and it is not painful, like she imagined it might be. It’s been painful in the past, but- no, she isn’t thinking about the past, only the present. Only this moment, where Walhart is doing things that make her toes curl. She has never felt anything like this, never felt anything so good , and that is what separates this from any experience she might think she has. This experience is something completely different; this can barely be called the same thing at all.

But what he does next is something she is completely unfamiliar with; when he withdraws his finger, she winces a bit, certain that she knows what comes next, and unable to stop herself from tensing, but then, she feels his breath and opens her eyes, surprised to find his face between her thighs. Walhart presses his tongue inside of her, and for a moment, Robin forgets nearly everything, barely able to remember her own name as he buries his tongue within her, giving her pleasure that she never knew was possible.

She wants to ask him where he learned something like this, wants to ask him why he’s been holding out on her, why this isn’t what they started with, but speech is impossible at this point. Robin wants to learn everything he knows about...about this , where he learned all of his technique, but that will have to wait until later, until she has her head on straight again, when she isn’t...isn’t…

Of course, she had a vague idea of what an orgasm was , but to actually experience it for the first time...well, all she can really say is that there is no proper description to give it justice, and nothing that could have prepared her for the sudden and overwhelming surge of pleasure, magnifying with each pulse.

She doesn’t notice when Walhart pulls away, but then he’s looking down at her, and there is a strain in his voice as he says, “I think that’s enough for tonight.”

“Wh- but we haven’t- !” Once, she would have been reluctant to continue, but now, when she’s so close and so certain that tonight could be the night…

“You...it will be too hard for me to hold back, at this point. If you need me to stop, I...don’t know that I’ll be able to,” he says, and she knows that this is meant as a warning. She also knows that, if it were some time ago, she would have taken it as such, but now, with all they’ve done to prepare her for this point, and the state of mind he has her in, still riding on her afterglow, that sounds more appealing than she would ever admit.

“Please,” she gasps, “you can’t just leave me hanging like this. Not now that I’ve…”

“You’re determined to test my strength, aren’t you?” He is doing everything he can to give her an out and, though she appreciates it, she does not want to take it. She wants this, here and now, and he must be able to see her resolve, because next thing she knows, he is on top of her, and she can feel his erection pressed against her. “It’s...not too late to back out,” he says, pinning her wrists above her head, and she can tell that it’s a challenge for him to even say this.

“I’m not backing out anymore,” is all that she needs to say. Though his size is somewhat intimidating, his first push is slow, careful; so careful, in fact, that there is a part of her that grows impatient, but she knows better than to rush him. She knows better than to think about anything other than the moment, to let her mind wander anywhere beyond each new sensation, beyond the man in front of her.

This , she decides, is her first time, and that is all there it to it; that is her last coherent thought before Walhart buries himself in her, as much as he can manage. There are moments when she almost falters, when the slight pain that comes with each initial movement almost causes her mind to wander, but she stays grounded. She stays relaxed and she lets him settle, and slowly, her body is able to accommodate him, until there is no pain at all.

From that point on, there’s no need to worry about anything else, and she wouldn’t be able to even if she tried. Robin isn’t fully able to wrap her legs around her husband, but she does what she can manage, as if to trap him in his place while he begins to thrust, finding a steady rhythm that suits them both.

But it isn’t long before his steadiness begins to slip, before he loses some of his rhythm, and she can see more of that fierce side of him starting to come to the surface. She doesn’t fear this side of him, not at all, and if were to let it take over entirely, she would not mind that in the slightest. In fact, she hopes for it, someday, but for now, she is overwhelmed enough as it is.
Walhart’s grip on her wrists tightens more and more, the closer he gets, and she wonders if there will be bruises when all is said and done. Even this serves to excite her further, and she realizes that every display of strength, every bit of power that her husband shows right now, makes her feel safer with him, rather than afraid. She has nothing to be afraid of with him, not now and not ever again, and it is as she realizes this that she gives into her pleasure again.

Her second climax is no less intense than the first, perhaps even magnified because she still somewhat felt the aftereffects of the first, even after that time had passed. As for Walhart, she supposes that he must have just barely been holding out, by force of will alone, waiting for her before allowing himself to also give in like that. But when he does, he groans in a way that she has never heard from him before, and the look on his face is entirely new, too, and Robin doesn’t think she’ll ever get enough of it.

Still, it’s over just like that, and he is slumped on top of her, just barely able to support his weight enough to not crush her. The two are left panting as they recover, and even after she can think perfectly clearly again, even after she can breathe again, she still feels a pleasant tingle all over her body, and that, coupled with the sights and sounds of Walhart in his moment of weakness, are enough to leave her wanting more, again and again.

Though she knows it’s possible that she may wake up in the middle of the night, suddenly terrified, assaulted with visions of the past, or that she may even be reluctant the next time they try or that she may need a break before she can actually think about trying again, she knows that this time has been a success. It has been a very big success, and a big step on the path to recovering from the things that have been done to her in the past.

She never imagined that she would get so close to anyone, and she certainly never imagined that it would be someone like Walhart that she could put her trust into, and that would play such a crucial role, but now she can’t imagine doing this without him, and she is glad to have him by her side, now and forever. With that in mind, Robin is happier than she's ever been.

Just for a moment, lying with him on top of her, the two of them only breathing, things are almost simple. 

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