Chapter 1 - The Hive

Chapter One: The Hive


It smelt like death down here... the constant stench of rotting and decaying flesh... exactly what I always suspected hell might smell like. Flashlight shining my way down the crudely-shaped corridor, I kept my eyes open for anything out of the ordinary. The rock was mixed in with some strange black secretions which formed organic, sickening patters across most of the ceiling and walls. “Strange...” I mused, rubbing a gauntleted hand down the surface. It was smooth to the touch, but looked rough... like a strange 3-D picture you might see. I can only imagine what purpose a confounding pattern like this would serve. It was too quiet down here, too calm. If this was a Y Hive like I was lead to believe, it's either dead, or they were hanging back. It wasn't like them... they usually charged forward at the first sign of intrusion. Though... there was that one commander in another city who was voucing for Y intelligence... I can't say I agree or disagree with him... they've shown no real intelligence so far, but have been seen executing basic tactics... so it was a toss up.

I continued further down the tunnel, ready and waiting for something to jump me. The light from the little flashlight on my chest was a creature comfort, piercing the thick veil of darkness and allowing some modecrum of sight to be had in the otherwise void abyss. This place was terrible, sounds all around me growing in volume only to drop off seconds before I spin around to face them... this is definitely not something any human hands had built. She was right about one thing... even if I can't see them... the Y are definitely crawling all over this place.

The corridor continued to snake farther and farther down, eventually allowing a soft yellow glow to light up the walls of the corridor. Finally... some god damn light in here. Careful that light meant the Y could see me as well, I slowly advanced on the opening. The corridor split out into a massive chamber, dropping an additional fifty plus feet into the earth, ending in a huge, bowl shaped basin, within which were hundreds... no, thousands of Y just... waiting. Above me, a bloated Y clung to a stalagtite, it's distended body glowing a brilliant orange to fill the cavern with light. Cool, but disgusting. There were small ones as well – the mass-produced drones that harassed our soldiers – as well as the big ones... the ones who actually reproduce and spread all this fear. It was easy to tell the drones from the core Y. The big ones – we've taken to calling them progenitors, on account they reproduce at an alarming rate – were easy to spot from the drones, on account progenitors were always unique, a single unique snowflake in a sea of copy-pasted drones. I crouched down behind a protrusion in the corridor and put a hand to my earpiece.

“Commander...” I whispered, careful so they didn't hear me. “I've arrived at the center of the hive... it appears to be a... nursery of sorts...” I spied a few human corpses being gnawed on by the drones. “...I don't have a count on how many Y are down there.”

“Can you give me a guess on how many?” I tried to do a quick head count, but they were moving so quickly, I couldn't get much past fifty before I lost count.

“At least a hundred plus... maybe upwards of a thousand.” I heard her gawk on the other end of the line.

“Pull back, Tachyon. That's entirely too many.”

“What!?” I tried not to yell. “You send my happy ass this far, only to tell me to retreat? Fuck that!”

“Tachyon, you're a good soldier, but you need to learn to listen sometimes. There's no way you can take on a thousand plus Y.”

“Bet you I can.” I grinned.

“This is not up for debate! Return to base!”

“Yeah... you're right. It's not up for debate.” I paused. “Call you when I'm done.” I switched my headset off before she could reply. Ooooh, I was in so much trouble when I got back... but she really could not expect me to trudge all the way out here – to fight the god damn Y no less! - and then expect me not to fight the god damn Y! I looked down at the group... really the progenitors were the only real threat... and even then it wasn't by much. Standing from my crouching position, I took a few steps back to get a run up and...

Took a running leap into the basin below. It wasn't hard to aim to land on one of them... there were so many of them, it was impossible almost to see the floor of the basin. I said nothing as I landed, steel boots crushing a drone beneath and breaking my fall. I said nothing as I stood to my full, terrible height – just cracked my knuckles through the armor, silently asking which wanted to die first.

It was one of the progenitors that attacked first. It charged over it's drone minions in a fury, it's clawed arms brought to bear. This one was fairly human looking... not all of them are. Y can take many shapes – some humanoid, some beastial, others amorphus. They were all deadly, though. I snapped an arm to catch it's attacking hand, my impressive strength stopping it mid-swing. With a single pull, I ripped it's arm off, a spray of crimson splattering wall and Y alike as the creature shrieked in pain, stumbling backwards from it's severed limb. Tossing the arm up, I bashed it across the face as hard as I could, shattering both arm and head in one swift blow. Spinning about quickly, I snatched a leaping drone out of the air, mid-flight. This was a type I recognized... through it's nearly-clear stomach, I saw a mid of red and blue chemicals swirling about, separated by a thin membrane wall. We named these particular Y 'poppers', as the chemicals in their stomachs were highly volatile, and would explode if mixed. Holding the popper by it's stubby neck, I punched it's stomach once to break the membrane inside, then heaved it away like a grenade. After launch, it arced towards a small concentration of the beasts before exploding into a shower of viscera and blood.

Reactions caused me to turn and elbow another progenitor in the face, staggering it backwards. Grabbing it by it's neck and leg, I hoisted it over my head and threw it at another advancing pack of drones, the heavily armored creature crushing the lightly armored drones. Two swift kicks to another advancing progenitor from a heavy boot caused it to stumble and fall to the ground, where a third kick to it's head splattered it's twisted brain all over the stone. This was what I lived for. To make those sons of bitches realize they weren't the damn king of the universe around here. I found it... easy to get lost in the blood and violence of it all – pulling heads from shoulders and tearing chunks from bodies. Try as they might, none of the hated mongrels could even touch me, tiny, insignificant specks struggling uselessly against a titan of their enemy. It gave me supreme pleasure to watch Y after Y fall to my relentless assault.

A roar echoing through the cavern broke me out of my battle trance, the spine and skull I was wielding hanging limp in my hand, blood coating most of my body in it's cool, red embrace. I watched as drone and progenitor alike fled from me, retreating deeper into the hive. “Oh... so you think you can just run...” I snatched up a nearby popper, gave it a swift punch to it's gut and threw it with all of my might at the entrance all the Y were retreating to. Upon impact, it detonated into another gory shower, destabilizing the tunnel enough for it to collapse, sealing a handful of unlucky Y in here with me. “I wasn't done having fun yet.” I growled to them, advancing with my impromptu weapon in hand. The Y progenitor turned to face me, a grim acceptance in it's alien eyes. It knew it wasn't living past today. “GgggrrrrAAAAHHHH!” I growled, bringing the spine flail down on top of it with crushing force.

-A Few Minutes Later-

One grueling climb out of that bloodbath later, and I found myself back on the surface, at city level. I filled in the police officers, and told them the entrance was sealed further in, but I would call a crew in to fill this hole in as well. “Thank you, Tachyon. Everyone can rest easy knowing they're safe for another day.”

“Mm.” I grunted in response, handing the officer her flashlight back. “Here.” She daintly took it from me, on account I was now dyed a near permanent red from all the Y blood I had been basting in.

“Erm... thank... you?” I watched her toss the flashlight in the dumpster. I turned back to call my ride, turning my earpiece back on to report. The moment it's power came back on, I was greeted with a string of curses coming from Commander Kawazoe. Casually, I reached into my pocket to retrieve the pack of cigarettes it held, put one between my lips and snapped my fingers in front of the end, the flint and tinder built in striking a spark which lit the end. I took a long, much needed drag on the cigarette before letting Homura know I could hear her.
“Do you want to know how the mission went, or are you not done cursing me out yet?” I asked over the radio.

“Tachyon! There you are!? What the fuck is wrong with you!?”

“Sweetheart, I could write a novel on that question. What are we talking about specifically?”

“You've been radio silent for half an hour! Give me a damn status report!”

“Hive sealed.” I spoke simply. “Most of them fled deeper, but I sealed the tunnel on their end. Have a cleanup crew dispatched to seal the hole on this side.” I heard her huff, hot air venting quickly as she was want to do when furious.

“Let me guess. You completely fucking ignored me, and charged in like a damn battering ram, didn't you?” I finished the cigarette off and flicked it's dying butt into the gutter, letting the smoke leave in staggered gouts as I laughed at her description.

“Well, you know me, Homura. I'm a blunt instrument.”

“Commander Kawazoe! So long as you are member of this organization, you will treat me with respect!” I fished another cigarette out and lit it as well, taking this one much slower. Killing Y was like sex to me. It was best done early, there was no such thing as 'too hard', you don't want to go slow because you wind up boring one partner... and most importantly, there was nothing like a cigarette afterwards.

“I am.” I responded. “You keep me chained up inside like a rabid dog, and only let me out when you've got no other choice. So tell you what. You start letting me out more often, and maybe... I'll show you some kinda respect, eh?” The radio clicked off, and I got the distinct impression Homura was swearing up a storm with the radio off so I didn't hear how angry I made her. Not that I didn't already know. “Look, I'm not asking for much. Just... to get out once in a while. I'm not asking you to have sex with me or anything fucked up like that... just... a little moonlit stroll once in a while.”

“Fine!” She growled. “I'll... toss some more stuff your way, see how well you do. The problem is, Tachyon, I can't trust you to do anything with anyone else. Hell, the last unit I put you in complained that you tried to use their commander as a punching bag.” I laughed.

“Aaaah, good times.” The second cigarette smoldered between my lips, not really being enjoyed, just letting it burn. “I'll provide a full report once I get back, as per procedure.”
“And I'll work on seeing what else I can... keep you busy with.” She signed off in her usual fashion just as my driver drove up. He stopped and rolled down the window.
“What the hell happened to you?!” He asked in a surprised tone.

“Sorry. I was shanghaied into playing the title role in the local high-school's rendition of Carry.” I slipped into the car and shut the door. Man, I would hate to be the poor motherfucker who's got to clean this car... Y blood doesn't come out of anything easily.

“What is all that shit?”

“Blood, mostly. I think there's some intestine around here somewhere...”

“Is that a... piece of brain in your hair?” I reached up and fished a small chunk of brain matter from my head.

“So it is.” I dropped it between my legs.

“Jesus fuck, Tachyon... I'd heard the rumors but... I never thought you were that brutal.”

“Meh.” I answered carefree, taking a small drag on the cigarette in my mouth. I rolled the window down, letting the morning air waft through the vehicle... partially to vent the scent of coagulating viscera. “Most of 'em ran. This is just the poor sods who couldn't.”

“How do the Y even stand a chance with you on our side?” I openly laughed at him, a cruel, almost sarcastic laugh.

“I'm not on your side. I'm on my own side. Just so happens that our goals are the same. But...” I paused, looking at the cigarette in my hand. “Having said that... you'd be doing a lot better if Homura would let me out more often.”

“Why doesn't she?” I laughed again.

“Ah, that's a funny story. I don't play well with others...”

-Later That Night-

I had been debriefed and thrown into a shower quicker then I could blink, my clothes pretty much incinerated for the most part. Can't really blame them, they were ruined more or less... hell, I'm not spending the time or energy to wash the blood out. It was a relief to feel the warm water cascade down my back and chest, washing away all the fatigue and any traces of blood that had survived. No sooner had I left and dried then I had redressed in a new uniform, waiting the rest of whatever Homura was going to 'dig up' for me.

Knock, knock. Two quick knocks came to my door just as I was finishing up with my tie, causing me to pause and blink, clearing the distance between me and the door in two strides. I quickly opened it and checked who would be distrubing me this late. I looked down, a young woman in a similar uniform to my own on the other side. She was wearing white satin gloves and white leather boots in place of my steel plate. She was also wearing a skirt instead of pants. “Can I help you?” She smiled at me.

“Are you Tachyon?” She asked simply. I quirked an eyebrow, but nodded. This wasn't a girl I recognized... either I was worse with names and faces then I thought, or she was a newcomer. “I knew it. My name is Rikka. The others say I'm wasting my time but... I was wondering if you'd be interested in joining me for some tea?”

“You're new, aren't you?” She nodded happily. “And you want... to have tea... with me?” Another quick nod from her, her smile never fading. I had to give it to her, she had gumption to just come out of the wood work like this with a random question. “I'm gonna say no.” I closed the door on her face and walked away.

“Okay!” She chimed happily through the door, her clarion voice coming through perfectly. “I'll keep asking until you agree!” She mused. I couldn't help but laugh at her words. She was persistent, that's for sure.

“Bye.” I told her again.

“See you later!” I took off my blazer jacket and tossed it on the back of a nearby chair, followed quickly by my tie. Today had drained me – though it was a good kind of drain – and I just wanted to take a rest for a while, recharge the batteries. Throwing myself onto my bed, I cupped the back of my head with both hands and closed my eyes, quickly dozing off.

-The Next Day-

I was woken up much, much later by a static, constant knocking on my door. I groaned as I stood, silently praying this wasn't Rikka again with her asinine requests. Cold metal fingers wiped the sleep from my eyes as I stifled a yawn best I could. “Coming...” I groaned, throwing the door open.

“About damn time.” Came Homura's voice, the smaller woman pushing past me. I shouldn't be surprised, everyone was smaller then me, but with Homura it was like she would be smaller then a lot of people. Sometimes, I wondered why she didn't bother getting a new uniform. Homura was what most would consider 'chubby', her frame stretching her uniform to it's limits. Her ample chest threatened to split the three buttons that held her blazer on and murder the closest person, her full breasts would have been a proverbial holy grail for any man... provided she was interested in that kind of thing. Her skirt was stretched to it's absolute limits across her broad hips, her stockings squeezing her thighs warmly. If it sounds like I like the woman, you'd be mistaking. She was absolutely infuriating, and I'm positive she'd stab me in my sleep if I wasn't an asset to her. “I've been standing out there for fifteen minutes.”

“And I've been asleep. What's your point?”

“My point, Tachyon, is I have that job you oh-so desperately wanted.” She took my blazer jacket off the chair and turned it around to sit, tossing me my jacket. “Get dressed. Doctor Brightstone in Medical has a crazy job for both of us, and if anyone can pull this off with any chance of success – I can't believe I'm saying this – it's only going to be you.”

“I'm listening.” I mused, throwing my jacket on.

“We've finished construction on some containment facilities in Medical, but Doctor Brightstone has been working on something she thinks may be the turning point in our fight against the Y. She's asked me to bring her samples of Y so she can experiment... however, as you well know, Y cells degrade rapidly once the host dies. She wants a live specimen.” I paused, blinking at her request.

“Can we skip the part where I protest, citing how dangerous and reckless something like this is, and you just jump to the point where you tell me you've 'gone over every avenue and it's perfectly safe'?”

“Fuck that, it's stupid, reckless and dangerous... but if what she says is true, it may be worth the risk involved. She's been experimenting on... eh... well, maybe it's best to wait until we have something a little more concrete to go on... needless to say, the success of this mission may very well hinge the fate of humanity on it's shoulders.”

“So no pressure.” I shrugged.

“Indeed. We've gotten a call in about a small Y incursion sighted in a private residence... usually this kind of call would either go unnoticed or we'd simply wait them out. Most of the civilians on sight will be evacuated by the time you arrive. You're to enter the residence, subdue at least one progenitor, and bring it back to base preferably in one piece.”

“Just the progenitor?”

“Yes. Any other drones or progenitors on premise are to be considered disposable.” I liked that. It was going to be tricky enough to bring one back... two would be nearly impossible.
“How many Y are we looking at?”

“One at minimum, three at most.” I nodded.

“Alright Homura, I'll head out. Do I have a driver?”

“Commander, if you would – and yes, we've got a driver waiting for you in the motor pool... try not to get blood in this one, if you would?” I cracked a sarcastic smile.
“No promises.” Making sure my uniform was sitting properly, I started out the door. 

“Oh, and Tachyon... alive doesn't mean... unharmed. If you have to beat it into submission, do so.” I nodded without facing her, and continued towards the motorpool once more.
We'd been doing a lot of fringe research on the Y in the past two years. Part of me was wondering what we could possibly discover from all these 'samples' and 'specimens' we've been collecting... but the other half of me didn't want any part of any of it. My job was to do what I was told, and to kill Y. If I had to bring the occasional one in... well... if it all went to hell, I could at least wipe my hands of it, and kill the fucking thing. Eh, at least this was official, and I didn't have to fuck up any of my own clothes in the process.

I decided to take the stairs down to the motorpool... it was just three floors down, so it wasn't like it was a huge hike. Not... like I needed a lot of exercise either, but hey. Why wait when I can just climb a couple of stairs. I took the stairs, three at a time, on my steady trip to the garage; long legs and steel boots clacking gently against concrete. It would turn out that my driver for this trip, was the same guy from the last one, and the first words out of his mouth just so happened to be 'don't get blood on the leather this time'. I couldn't help but laugh at him. It was just so adorable how he thought I gave a shit about what he said... or what anyone says, for that matter. I sat myself in the seat – this time a cozy APC instead of a shitty little sedan – and told him to tell me when we arrived, while I closed my eyes for a bit.

Kathunk. I was jarred awake by a wheel dropping into a pothole, the whole van shaking. I took a deep breath to wake up. “Jesus, watch where you're driving.” I chastised the driver, who muttered a meek apology. Truth be told, I'm glad he woke me up when he did; I tend to... mutter rather embarassing things in my sleep. I sat up straight and tried to look more like a soldier and less like a sleep-deprived putz.

“We're almost there.” Came my driver's response. Good, sooner I was out of this damn chair and doing my job, the better. “So... uh... what exactly are you up against.”
“Small odds. Looks like what would be a waste of a larger force.” I shrugged. “Three at the most.”

“Strange... I thought procedure was to wait smaller incursions out, provided no civilians were harmed... are there any civilians on sight?” I shook my head. “Strange...” We turned a corner to see a barricade of news and SWAT vans blocking entrance to a private residence. “Goodie. News is here on this one. Have fun with that, I'll be in the car.” He drove between two SWAT vans – the officers outside waving us through – and parked near the curb, two wheels clattering up onto grass. I said nothing as I opened the door and stepped out, camera and reporters instantly flying into overdrive to catch something – anything – from me, any kind of official statement from me. They should really know better by now. I didn't even slow as I took the door out with a solid kick to it's handle, the wooden barricade splintering into a shower of wooden shrapnel, the loud crash announcing my presence.

“Alright you ugly motherfuckers! Come out and take a piece out of me!” I called into the well-lit home. It was a nice residence, well-maintained and whomever cleaned their carpets did a fucking amazing job of it. I took a few steps inside, boots digging lightly into the poofy, pristine blue carpet. It was quiet, but not that 'setting up for an ambush' quiet I had gotten used to in many of my operations. It was a normal quiet, like I had just broken into someone's home who was out on a date, or something.

That thought vanished the moment the ugly visage of a Y rounded the corner from the hallway, snarling and growling like a demented goat the whole way. This one was amorphous, basically a writhing mass of tentacles attached to a bulbous body with one stalk sporting a rather rudimentary head, with only eyes and a mouth to distinguish features. “How cute.” I grinned to it, taking a step forward. “Baby came out to play. Where's your dad, you fucker?” It tried to whip a tentacle at me, but I dodged it with a quick backstep, then threw myself at it's mass. “Wrong answer!” This was a drone, I could tell almost instantly. It barley had the strength to even begin to fight back, and I was confident if it managed to hit me, it would do little more then give me a light bruise. These amorphous fuckers were always a pain to kill, on account their bodies had no bones to break or skulls to smash... it took a dexterous grasp to find a way to kill it. Usually bullets would work just fine but... guns are for pussies, as I previously mentioned.

It consoldiated ten of it's twenty plus tentacles into one bludgeon and tried to attack again, but it's slow and predictable motions only allowed it's attack to be parried with a swift grapple. Holding fast onto it's tentacle mass, I heaved the creature over my head and slammed it into the ground behind me. “Bad Y! No dessert!” As it wiggled on the ground, I delivered a powerful strike with my foot, the steel boot biting deep into it's gel-like body. They didn't have bones... but they had organs. I felt something roll about underfoot for a moment before being crushed by the weight of the strike. The beast wailed in pain as I smiled.

“Oops. Did you need that?” Releasing my foot, I hoisted the creature up once more and swung it around, driving it into a nearby wall. It barely put up a fight after I crushed one of it's organs... bah! This wasn't fun anymore. Reaching down to it's crumpled form, I took a firm grasp on it's head – two of my fingers jammed into it's mouth for leverage – and pulled, shredding it's head from it's neck in a fountain of red. “Okay, that was baby. Where's daddy?” Dropping the useless mass of blood and skin, I began to search the house for the big motherhubbard that I was told was here. I figured eventually the beast would smell the blood of it's slain comrade and come to investigate... but I really didn't feel like waiting. Shoving doors open, I went room-to-room looking for the beast before finding it cornering a wimpering woman who was trying to keep it off of her with a dining room chair. Her clothes showed the tell-tale sign of Y attack – shredded nearly to ribbons – so it was easy to tell she's been here for a while.

“There you are.” I spoke to the progenitor. “I have been tearing this house apart looking for you.” I droned to the thing, the woman looking at me with pure fear in her eyes. “Oi.” I slapped the progenitor's shoulder. “Don't fuckin' ignore me.” It spun around and shrieked in my face, splattering me from the chest up with disgusting Y spittle. “Alright. We'll try this again.” I grabbed the progenitor – human-shaped so it was easier – by it's waist and hoisted it above my head. “Don't. You. Fucking. Ignore. Me!” I repeated, slamming it onto the ground as hard as I could, the beast bouncing up to my waist and wailing. Before it could get up, I snatched the chair out of the woman's hand and tossed it at the window nearby, breaking it and allowing her to flee. “Get out of here.” I told her, her terrified green eyes nodding to me as she struggled up and carefully climbed out the window. “Comin' over here, messin' with girls who don't want anything to do with you...” I shook my head. “Girls don't like a pushy fuckboy, you know.” I told it as it got to it's feet. It's claws were sharp and stained red – a previous victim – and it's eyes were filled with pure hate. This thing wanted me dead. Good. It took a blind swipe at me, the attack barely connecting with anything save air, my body stepping back one full step to dodge the attack. “They don't like boys who get angry when they don't get their way, either.” Stepping forward again, I put all my strength into a single punch, which connected solidly with the beast's jaw, the satisfying snap of breaking bones filled the air. It shrieked once more – a mumbled, stifled shriek – it's jaw flailing loosely on it's head from the strike. “How hard do I gotta hit you to make you go down and stay down?” I asked more myself. “Can't hit you too much, or you'll die... but I can't hit you only a few times, 'cause then you'll wake up on the trip back...” I shrugged. It wasn't that long of a trip. I could just wrestle the thing to the ground and make it submit, then hold it down on the way back.

It swung once more at me, this time my own hand caught it's claw and I shattered it's arm bones with a powerful strike to it's elbow. Following up with a balled mace-strike to the top of it's head, the beast collapsed like a ragdoll with barely a grumble. I paused, looking over it as it slowly inhaled and exhaled... good, it was alive still. Reaching down, I grabbed hold of it's good arm and pulled it up, slinging it over my back. “U-ugh... you fuckin' smell, dude...” I tried to block out my sense of smell but... it was just too strong. “Doc needs to throw your ass in the shower, first thing.”

-

I made a final check of the house, just to make sure no more Y were hanging around before I began my trek out. The police vans were blocking most of the reporter's view of the entrance, and our own van was also strategically positioned to prevent a lot of people from seeing me hefting a Y – alive, no less – on my shoulders. The driver was looking down at his nails as I opened the door.

“Mission accomplished I take i-” He looked up as I shoved the unconscious Y into the passenger's seat. What came next was the single most girly scream I had ever heard in my life.

“Dude.” I looked at him through slanted eyes. “Really?”

“Well, I'm sorry!” He continued to defend himself as I climbed in the back. “I didn't expect there to be a dead-damn-Y in the seat next to me.”

“Unconscious.”

“Unconsci -” He paused again. “UNCONSCIOUS!?” He wailed. “Why are you stuffing a living, breathing Y into the damn van!?”

“Homura told me to.” I shut the door. “Look, he's gonna be out for a good long while. Just... drive back, and we should be fine.”

“Commander Kawazoe told you what now!?” He looked about. “Has that woman lost her god-damn mind!? Bringing a live Y back to base!? That's foolish, stupid... IGNORANT even!” He looked uneasy. “And what if it wakes up again!? What happens then!?”

“Then I punch it again, and knock it out; stop being a little bitch and drive.” He locked eyes with the snarling monster as he shifted into drive and began our long trip home.

We arrived with no problems, pulling into the garage and parking next to a full containment team, waiting with stretcher, plenty of straps to hold it down, and more then one person carrying a flamethrower. Just in case. Homura was standing by the stretcher looking on, her arms folded under her ample chest, her face locked with that permanent scowl of disapproval she always wore when she had to deal with me. We stopped and I got out.

“Tachyon.” She spoke to me. “I trust mission accomplished?” I didn't answer, but just opened the passenger seat.

“Sssssh.” I whispered, holding a finger to my lips. “Baby's sleeping.” I opened the door, letting the Y tumble out onto the concrete floor. “He had a long day.” From the gaggle of men and women in lab coats came a young-looking woman with her coat gaping open for the world to see her rather tight-fitting black t-shirt.

“Amazing! Commander, when you said you could have a live Y specimen here by day's end I... I hardly dared to believe!” She dropped to her knees and began to examine it. “A few lacerations... a couple broken bones...” She glared at me. “Could you have damaged it any more?”

“Sure. I was tempted to break it's back over my knee... but figured that would fall out of the 'bring it back alive' category.” A pause. “Look, you wanted a living Y, you got your damn living Y. Once the Screaming Meanie in there is done cleaning the piss out of the driver's seat, this is going to be done. Can I go?” Two men in lab coats bent down to lift the creature – and it was immediately obvious that their strength was not sufficient. “Move out of the way, you wimps.” I took hold of it's leg and neck, hefting it up onto the stretcher. “There. Don't dislodge your tampons when you get it off the stretcher.” Without being dismissed, I turned and walked back towards my room for a shower and a change.

I was going to catch hell for that. I could promise that. In the long run, it wasn't hard for anyone to understand why Homura liked to keep me leashed, fat and happy back at base. I was good at what I did, but I was a damned frustrating individual to deal with, and very few people – none, actually now that I thought about it – knew why I was such a raging asshole. Even fewer cared to ask.

Once back in my room, I made quick work removing my clothes, first and foremost were the heavy, burnished plate boots and gauntlets, the heavy armor clattering powerfully to the ground, the carpet doing nothing to dull the sound. I wasn't even five seconds under the water before I heard the door to my quarters open with a crash. Huh... first time Homura has exercised her command right and burst in.

“Tachyon! Get your ass out here, now!” I groaned, sighing audibly as I shut the water off. I didn't bother redressing, just tossed a towel around my waist, then standing out in the bathroom door, leaning lazily. “What the fuck is your problem!?”

“My problem? I thought I was a perfect gentleman until the playboy bunny opened her fat gob.”

“That 'playboy bunny' is our chief medical officer! I seem to remember her stitching your ass up more then once! Don't you think you should be a little more polite to her?!”

“Me?! Homura-”

“From this moment forward, you'll address me as Commander Kawazoe, or not at all! I'm sick of your shit!”

“Ho-mur-a.” I emphasized. “Why the fuck does it always come back to me? Are you saying I'm the cause of all the problems here? That... that everyone else's shit doesn't stink? Because it sure as shit seems like it! You know as a fact that Patricia doesn't like me! She goes out of her way to belittle me at every fucking turn, and you always take her damn side!”

“I take her side, because you started this shit! You always start it!” She paused. “Now that I think of it, you didn't start this one, but still!” She inhaled deeply and let it out. “Fuck... look, Tachyon... I'm sorry. I've got the council on my ass to live up to the main branch, and... and I can't. I don't have a way to live up to them! You're the best damn agent I've got, and I can't trust you to do what you're told and keep your fucking mouth shut! That's... that's all I want, Tachyon. I want you to do a job without the barbs, the stabs or the insults.” I crossed my arms and glared at her. I wanted her to beg, to get on her knees and plead with me... but I decided not to push my luck too far.

“No promises, but I'll try...” She smiled sweetly.

“Thank you, Tachyon.” She bowed, her chubby frame fighting her at every turn.

“I said no promises.” I answered her. There came an awkward pause between us, me standing in just a towel, her just staring at me. “Can I help you with something else, or can I finish my shower?”

“Your hands-”

“They're fine. If you'll excuse me.” I closed the door and went back to turn the water on. I should have found a bigger towel.

