Chapter 0 - bested again

Lately, Byleth spends nearly all of her free time sparring with Felix. She checks on her other students from time to time, and talks to them whenever they need it, but when she isn’t needed, when she can check in on whoever she chooses, it inevitably ends in her asking Felix if there’s anything she can do for him, which inevitably ends in the two of them sparring.

He’s rough around the edges, and difficult to figure out, but slowly, she’s come to understand that he admires her quite a bit. It’s her mercenary upbringing that intrigues him, and her actual skill that impresses him, and, though skeptical of her at first, he now makes it clear that he has much he wants to learn from her. So, rather than discussing books and potential lesson plans, or unwinding over tea, like she might do with her other students, she and Felix spar frequently, until he is the person she spends the majority of her time with.

They’re close, much closer than she’s been with pretty much anyone before coming to the monastery. Her father was one thing, but the other mercenaries kept her at an arm’s length outside of battle, and back then, she didn’t mind. Byleth never felt particularly lonely, never understood that feeling to begin with, but things are changing now. She’s opening up more to others and, as a result, the others are rubbing off on her, and for the first time, she is beginning to understand her feelings.

Felix is probably her closest friend, though it feels odd to call him that, not only because he is her student, but because of how they spend their time together, and because of how she feels around him, which is very different from how anyone else she considers a friend could make her feel. In the back of her mind, she has an idea of what’s going on, but she doesn’t address it, to herself or anyone else.

Felix insists that they work on his hand-to-hand fighting, claiming that she has more experience than any other teacher he’s had. He says that, when it comes to fighting without a weapon, he’s been horribly neglected, and he’s ready to learn all that he can about how to take down his enemies when his blade fails him. So, for a few weeks now, they’ve been working on that, with Felix determined to take her down in a hand-to-hand fight before he moves on to the next stage. They spend a lot of time basically beating each other up, and that is when it becomes difficult to avoid the differences in her feelings.

Rarely has fighting thrilled her so much, as it has become mundane over the years, but with Felix, it certainly does fill her with a thrill that she isn’t used to. Time after time, she defeats him, but he learns quickly, putting up a better fight each time until she actually starts to struggle against him. And then, one day, he bests her, managing to put up enough of a fight that she loses her footing for a moment and then he has her, tackling her to the ground and pinning her hands above her head.

“Got you,” he says between breaths. “Did you let your guard down?”

“You never gave me that luxury,” she replies, staring up at him. There is a heat growing in her and she feels restless, wanting to move while at the same time, not wanting him to let her up.

“You’re flattering me,” he says, shaking his head, and still, he does not let go of her wrists. “You aren’t going easy on me, are you? You haven’t even attempted to break free. In a real battle, it wouldn’t be over until one of us were dead, so I’m surprised you haven’t attempted to take me by surprise yet.”

“A battle can end with surrender, and I’ve surrendered.” Though Felix has managed to catch his breath by now, Byleth can’t seem to catch hers. She squirms a bit, but she can’t bring herself to put up an earnest resistance.

“You’re still moving,” he points out. “Some sort of trick? You’ll feign surrender, only to take me down after my back is turned?”

“Nothing like that.”

Sighing, he lets go of her, sitting back and then standing up. Byleth tries to hide her disappointment as he extends a hand to help her up. She knows that this is getting out of hand; this is her student, and she’s in the middle of helping him train. She shouldn’t be feeling like this , not even after being so close to him, after having him pin her to the ground, their bodies so close that she could feel the heat radiating from his…

Her breath hitches in her throat, and Felix says, “What is it? I didn’t seriously hurt you, did I?”

“No, I’m fine.” But if she’s fine, then why can’t she catch her breath? She’s being too obvious, and the ache between her thighs grows worse as Felix scrutinizes her.

“You seem very out of it, professor,” he says. “Are you sure there isn’t something bothering you?”

It’s rare that he shows this much concern, which means that she’s both too obvious and made him too curious to let it go. She feels shaky, and more than anything, she wants Felix on top of her again. Swallowing hard, she says, “I need to get going.”

“Your guard is still down,” he warns her, but he says it as he lunges, offering no real warning. She might have been able to fight back or avoid his attack, if she were in her right mind, if it were anyone other than Felix and any time other than right now. In a flash, he has her pinned again, this time to the wall behind her. It isn’t the same as having him on top of her, but she likes this quite a bit, maybe even more. His body is so close to hers that she can hardly breathe.

“Too easy. I don’t believe you really surrendered,” Felix says, his face so close that neither of them can really help making eye contact. The fact that he is deliberately looking into her eyes is a rarity, and she can feel his breath against her face. “Seemed like you still had some fight in you. At the very least, you looked like you wanted more of...something.”

“Felix…” She needs to fight back now and prove to him that this is over, and that it isn’t what he might think it is. If she gets out of his grip, she can put distance between them and organize her thoughts, and ensure that something like this never happens again. She can’t allow herself to let it become what he might think it is.

“Nothing to say?” he asks with a hint of a smile. “You know, I’m not an idiot, don’t you? You’re not always this easy to read, but today...today, you’ve got your feelings written all over your face.”

“I don’t…”

“I know what you really want to do, professor. So? What’s stopping you? I’m at an advantage and could always fight back, but you’re so close...well, you never know if you don’t take the risk and attack first.”

Is he really inviting her to make a move on him? No matter how great the temptation may be...Byleth steels herself. Felix is still one of her students, and no matter how close he is, and no matter how openly he may seem to be inviting her, she isn’t going to break.

At least, not first.

But Felix grows frustrated when she does not say or do anything, and he scowls. “You really are impossible,” he mutters, before using his own advantage to make his move. And Byleth is weak, all of her resolve crumbling as he drops her hands, pressing his lips against hers. Rather than pulling back, she steps into the kiss, her body against his, and he wraps one arm around her shoulders, while holding the back of her head with other hand, and no amount of reminding herself of his or her position can stop her anymore.

Felix is the first to pull back, glancing off to the side as he says, “Is besting you in combat really all it takes to turn you on?”
Shaking her head, she weakly replies, “This is...a first.”

“So, just me, then?” He looks back at her when she nods, and kisses her again, harder this time, pushing her into the wall. She can feel how he wants her now too, and is very aware of how little she actually knows about any of this. It’s rarely come up in her life, never something she felt she could ask her father about, so her knowledge is rusty, more than a few things picked up from certain faculty members, revealing too much about their own experience after a few drinks.

Byleth is not confident that that knowledge will be enough to carry her through this, but Felix seems keen on taking the lead, regardless of how little experience he must also have. He must be aware of the risk of getting caught, but he doesn’t let that deter him either, and Byleth no longer has the strength to care about such risks. This time, when he breaks the kiss, he stares pointedly at the ground while he does the work of getting his pants out of the way.

They both undress as much as necessary and as little as possible, and he has her shoved against the wall again, before she has a chance to be self-conscious or to stare at him too much. He keeps things moving quickly, giving neither of them the opportunity to think clearly and back out; he nudges her legs apart with his knee, and she balances herself against the wall, lifting her legs so that she can wrap them around him. Felix offers her enough support that she doesn’t fall, pressing his erection against her.
“I don’t want to hurt you,” he says, “but I don’t have any idea what I’m doing.”

“It’s fine, we’ll figure it out.” What’s a little pain to her, anyway?

“So, you don’t have anything to teach me, then?” he teases, before a look of concentration comes over his face. He looks so much like he does when he’s trying in class that she almost wants to laugh, but then, he pushes forward, so slowly that she’s surprised to see that much self-control from him. She realizes that she’s holding her breath, and tries to relax.

It takes him some time to make progress, as he slows or stops whenever he notices her wincing. She half-expected him to lose himself in the moment, or to expect her to toughen up, but he really tries his best to be gentle. So she tries not to let her pain show on her face, because, despite the pain, Byleth is impatient, wanting more no matter what it takes.

But, once Felix has buried himself inside of her, his own patience begins to slip. He closes his eyes with a soft groan, digging his fingers into her shoulders in one last attempt to maintain his self-control. It does not hold out, and before Byleth has a chance to catch her breath, he’s begun thrusting into her, faster and faster with each movement, and she grits her teeth as she tries to adjust to the sudden change.

“F-Felix,” she whimpers, but now, he has lost him in it, and doesn’t show any sign of having noticed. And, even so, behind the sudden, sharp pain, she finds herself wanting more. She wants this so bad, she’s wanted this, and now she can’t help but enjoy it. As she begins to get used to it, she tightens her legs around him, and starts to work her hips against his.

Felix hisses, growing tense as she assists him, and he leans forward, resting his head against her shoulder as he tries to fight against his own pleasure. He likely sees this as a competition as well, and she can feel his uneven breath on her skin as he hides his face, unable to slow his pace now, but unable to maintain his composure at the same time.

And then he’s there, releasing inside of her with a low moan, just barely able to support her weight as he is overwhelmed by his orgasm. It takes him some time to catch his breath, but once he’s recovered, the first thing he does is hiss, “Damn it!”

He helps her down onto shaky legs, more determined than ever not to look her in the eye as she asks him, “What is it?” Could it be that he’s already regretting this? If so, it would not be difficult for him to get her in a lot of trouble, but before she can panic, he answers her.

“You beat me again!” he snaps. “If I can’t even hold my own against when we’re fucking, then what hope do I have?”

“Now, now,” she soothes, trying not to laugh at how put out he looks, “remember that you did beat me during hand-to-hand earlier. That’s what started this whole mess.”

“You were probably going easy on me. Since you get so hot and bothered when someone pins you down, I mean. You wanted me to win!” he teases, and she blushes. Though that was not the case, she can see exactly why he thinks it is, and it will be difficult for him to accept any future victories.

Leaning back against the wall, she puts a hand between her legs, ready to finish herself off for now. At the very least, she has some experience with pleasuring herself, no matter how clumsy that experience may be. “Why don’t you watch me carefully?” she asks. “This much, I can teach you. For next time.”

Slowly, he looks back over to her, his face flushing when he sees what she’s doing. “A-alright. But next time, I’m not going down so easy.”

And so, against her better judgment and despite all the risks, Byleth begins an affair with one of her students. 

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