Chapter 15 - even when coughing up a lung (Ladd x Lua)

A/N: Shotgunning

She's taken a liking to watching him smoke cigars, and she's especially taken a liking to the way the smoke hurts her lungs and chokes her and causes her to cough. Ladd feels so guilty at first, because he wasn't thinking, because he didn't mean to do anything to hurt her. But if she likes it, then he can't feel guilty for long, and if he can justify it in his mind as another way to tease at her death, then it's just fine.

In fact, when he lets his mind linger on the subject, he thinks that it's more than just fine, and that it's something he can take into further consideration. The poor thing is doing her best to be patient, but he knows that it's hard for Lua to wait for the death he's promised her. He knows that it's hard for her, and that's why he does things to tease her, because even if he is just being a tease, it gives her something to look forward to, a reminder of why she's bothering with being patient in the first place.

After thinking enough on it, he decides that cigars won't work as well for what he has in mind, which is disappointing, because they're much bigger and showier than cigarettes. But if he doesn't have something where he can actually inhale the smoke, then it isn't going to work at all, and he purchases a package of cigarettes that he begins smoking in preparation. She notices the difference right away, and he can see the question in her eyes, but she never asks it aloud and for that he is grateful. He isn't able to keep secrets very well, and he doubts he would be able to stop himself from blurting it right out. It is even hard without her asking, after all.

But he keeps it a secret until a night when he gets his fiancee alone, and she sits patiently on the edge of his bed, waiting for him to do whatever it is he has in mind for tonight. She is always passive, but always willing; sometimes, he thinks she might have a greater appetite than he does, and maybe she does. These weren't things he spent so much time thinking about before he met her, anyway.

He pulls out a cigarette and lights it, taking a drag and letting the smoke start to fill the room. She watches him as he paces in front of her, her eyes never leaving him, and the he sits down next to her. He takes in a deep breath and holds it, and he uses his free hand to pull her face to his. When she parts her lips, he blows his smoke into her mouth, holding her in the kiss for as long as he can before she pulls back to cough hard.

She coughs into her fist, shoulders shaking, and there is nothing about this that should be beautiful, but it is because he doesn't think that there is anything she couldn't make beautiful.

It takes her a moment to recover, and even once she's stopped coughing, her breathing is ragged and there is the slightest look of pain on her face. He rests a hand on her cheek, brushing hair out of her face and caressing her skin, and she smiles up at him, the movement of her lips slight and almost impossible to notice.

“Took me a while to come up with a new way to take your breath away,” he says. “But was it worth the wait, little angel?” She nods and he laughs. “Of course it was, I know what you like!”

She looks to him with expectation in her eyes, and he isn't sure if he should be surprised that she's asking for more or not. But he can never say no to her, even when she doesn't ask him out loud, and he brings his cigarette back to his lips and sucks, holding the smoke in his mouth again. This time, she goes for the kiss herself, her impatience showing, and he breathes into her already open mouth without hesitation and pulls back to watch the strangely beautiful sight of her coughing. He always finds new ways to fall further in love with her.

“It hurts,” she says, once she's recovered this time, and her voice is scratchy from the coughing. Just the sound of her voice is enough to make him feel guilty, but he reminds himself that she's happy and that this is exactly why she's perfect for him.

“You want me to kiss it better, dollface?” he asks with a grin. She nods, closing her eyes and visibly relaxing before he's even done anything for her. He rests his hand on her back, finding the zipper and pulling it down before doing the same to her dress.
With her breasts exposed, he leans down to take one in his mouth, her nipple between his lips. He knows he isn't actually close to her lungs like this, but to hell with details, he thinks. His tongue rolls delicately over the hard nub, earning a soft gasp from his fiancee. Resting a hand on the back of her hand, he uses the other to hold the cigarette a safe distance from the two of them. That is, until he gets an idea.

Already, he's running through how he's going to get her cleaned up after to prevent infection because he can't allow something like that to take her, all while he continues to gently suck at her nipple and starts to bring the cigarette closer to her. Without warning, he presses the burning tip against her shoulder blade, extinguishing it as she lets out a surprised cry of pain. She is never loud, except in moments like this, when he manages to take her by surprise and break through her usual stoicism.

“Ladd,” she gasps, and her hands find his hair, grasping and tugging until she goes slack, and only then does he pull back.

“You liked that?” he asks. “I thought you would. I thought you'd just absolutely love it, because I know how much that kinda stuff gets ya going! A pretty girl like you shouldn't love pain so much, and I love that, I love everything you hide behind that pretty, pretty face. You'd be one surprise after another to someone who doesn't know you like I do, you know?”

He realizes that he's rambling, but she gives him her attention just as she always does, listening to everything that he says. “You're the only one,” she says softly, and he smiles so wide at that that his face starts to hurt.

“You're the only one,” he replies, before changing the subject entirely. “Sit right there, okay? We gotta get that burn cleaned up so it doesn't get infected! I couldn't stand it if you got an infection...” He says this mostly to himself as he gets up and leaves the room, and when he returns, he cleans her burn with a gentleness that is only ever reserved for her.

Once he's done, she wordlessly gets on the floor in front of where he sits, reaching for the zipper on his pants, and he relaxes while she sucks him off. 


