Chapter 6 - Finally Safe

The sun was well into the sky when I opened my eyes next. Naruko was gone, and my body still felt moderately sapped of strength. I almost felt like a child checking for monsters as I quietly poked my head down the hall, confirming that the houseguest was finally gone before taking a shower.

 
I still wasn’t sure what to do.
 
I had to tell Naruko, surely, but the thought of actually doing that… of looking into those bright, joyful eyes and telling her all that I’d done last night. That I’d frantically fucked Ino right there on our own couch, and then again in our guest shower. To see the despair and hurt in those beautiful blue orbs. Even worse, what if she got angry? What if she hated me? What if Naruko hated me....
 
It was a thought too horrible to imagine.
 
God, I was scum. But the sex had been just fantastic, and it’d been so long since Naruko and I had more than just a quickie on her desk… I twisted the lever to the left. There was an involuntary grunt as the shower turned ice cold. It didn’t matter if we only made love twice on a good week whereas Ino gave me two bouts and the greatest blowjob of my life within just a couple hours. That didn’t matter at all. 
 
Only under a cone of freezing water could I be convinced of that sentence.
 
I felt so tired, so drained, and I sure as hell wasn’t going to interrupt an important workday to dump such bad news on my wife. There was at least a little time to relax. I’d eat something, cook something nice, an empty stomach made everything worse, even things that were particularly awful to begin with. 
 
That one simple thought actually brought a smile to my face as I stepped out of the shower. I could almost smell the omelette already. Wait, I really could. Once more I carefully crept forward, confirming that Ino’s coat and purse were gone from where she’d rested them last night. All the same, was nervous approaching the kitchen, worried until I saw that dark, shiny hair.
 
“Hey Hinata,” I called casually. 
 
She gave a little jerk, which was unusual, but turned to me with a warm smile. 
 
“Hey Nago, are you hungover?” she asked, concerned but not upset. Never upset, she really was just the most nurturing woman on the planet. In light of that, I pulled her into tight a hug, relishing in the little squeak she let out. “Rough night?” she asked, voice off just a bit, maybe, I was probably imagining it.
 
“Yeah, you could say that. Did you come here just to check on me?” I asked, ready to gently scold her.
 
“Both of you, Naruko sent me a couple texts last night, sounded like she was really going at it, though she just might take a sick day,” she chuckled, turning back to the stove. “But uh, you know, she wasn’t here,” she said, shaking her head disapprovingly. 
 
“Gonna work herself to death, I keep telling her,” I said with a sigh, sitting down. My thoughtful sister had set a cup of black tea set out for me before I even sat down, I took it to my mouth and confirmed it was already perfectly sweetened. As I let the caffeine work its magic, I finally began to feel somewhat relaxed. As usual, I finished my drink just as breakfast was laid down, a nice veggie omelet, and a plate of assorted chopped fruits that sat between the two of us on the table. 
 
I suddenly realized that I was starving. Had I even eaten anything at dinner last night? It was all such a blur, I did my best to piece it together as I inhaled my food. It was so nice to just feel safe and serene again. Serenity, that was the perfect word. Sitting here in my cozy kitchen, eating a simple but delicious breakfast silently with my sister. Having nothing that urgently needed to be done. Just… serene. 
 
“So um-,” Hinata began, far more uneasy then I ever wanted her to be with me. I didn’t hide the concern in my eyes as I looked up at her.
 
“I uh… I know what you did with Ino,” she said bluntly, eyes on the plate in front of her, the plate she’d barely touched. I went still, into a state of shock I think. So shocked that my reply came out almost casual.
 
“She told you?” 
 
“No, no I just… bumped into her on my way in and… you know she seemed really happy and chirpy but also kind of… fearful? Like, left in a hurry, like she was afraid to talk to me and all that,” she articulated carefully, still not looking up at me. 
 
God. I hadn’t even thought about ruining my relationship with my family. Getting scolded and crapped on by dad and the cousins and everyone would be bad enough, but losing all the respect Hinata had for me was just? I felt a cold ball of some sort start to form in my gut.
 
“I’m sorry uh-“ I tried to think of something better to say than ‘she came onto me’. “She was… very insistent and, I don’t know, convinced me that’d be selfish to tell Naruko about her advances. Then she told me she wasn’t going to stop making advances until I… gave her what she wanted,” I muttered out, feeling pathetic for trying to justify my actions. 
 
“Figured it would be something like that,” she replied quietly. I stared at her hands while she poked at her barely touched breakfast. Then, with an almost imperceptible signal of determination, she set her fork down firmly by the plate. Figuring she was about to let me have it, I injected.
 
“Hinata I’m sorry, I know I screwed up I know I’m scum I-“

 “-Nago!” she cut me off sharply, harshly, it felt like I was stabbed in the heart. “Do not talk about yourself that way!” she scolded actually leaning over the short table to grab my hand. “You… you are the most amazing person I’ve ever known in my life,” there were tears in her eyes. “You see the best in everyone, your kind to everyone you meet, your always helping people whenever you can you treat your wife like a goddess,” her voice cracked and I rose from the table. Instinctively closing in to hug her again. 
 
When she got like this it was the only way I knew to bring her back down.
 
She sucked in a few breaths before continuing. 
 
“I’m not here to scold you or…make you feel bad,” she whined into my chest. She was only a couple inches shorter these days, but she still always tried to bury her face down there. “I just thought that after all that you’d feel… overwhelmed? Like you’d want some peace,” she explained, sniffing as she started to get herself together. “Do… do I still make you feel that?” she whispered, like she was afraid of the answer, like there was some possible reason that would have changed.
 
“Of course you do Hinata,” I assured, squeezing her harder. “I was just terrified that you’d… you know… think less of me or, hate me,” I muttered the last two words, even still they caused her to suck in another sob.
 
“I would never hate you, I swear, never!”
 
Great, well she didn’t hate me, but I’d clearly royally messed with her psyche. It had made her feel insecure, an issue she already struggled with. Once her breathing returned to normal I finished my apology.
 
“I’m so sorry Hinata, I’m sorry I put you in this position, I won’t be upset with you if you tell Naruko, I know she’s your friend too,” I muttered.
 
“No, Nago, I wouldn’t do that to you. If you really want to, um, have sex with Ino, that’s, well that’s your business,” she said, like she’d made up that justification on the spot. This to say, it didn’t make me feel any better. I sighed and kissed the top of her head, starting to pull away, but she didn’t release me. Her hands came up to grip my biceps as she looked up into my eyes. “I-“ she swallowed, she was carefully choosing her next words. “I don’t really like Ino, but, I like you, I mean I love you. I…I want you to have everything you want,” she explained, eyes beginning to water again. 
 
She gave me a quick peck on the mouth.
 
I blinked. 
 
Kisses on the cheek were rare but they happened once in a while, when she was really thankful or happy or whatever. Was this just a more intense version of that? It was an intense conversation. As much as I hoped, I knew her well, probably better than anyone on the planet, and that wasn’t the case.
 
“Hinata…”
 
“Oh god I’m sorry I-“ tears started steaming down her face, and this time it was my grip that kept us forced together.
 
“It’s alright, Hinata I just…” I let the sentence hang off, showing my confusion.
 
“I’m a freak!” she answered, almost shouting as she gave another tug to get away. My firm grip barely moved an inch against these efforts.
 
“If you calm down I’ll let go, but Hinata, come on, don’t talk about yourself like that,” I said, raising one hand up to the side of her face, heart aching and desperately wanting to bring her back.
 
“Nago,” she whined, she stopped writhing, and I was just thinking that I’d have to keep my promise when she spoke again, voice dry. “The truth is… I’m jealous of Naruko and now I’m jealous of Ino too!” she spoke loudly again, head pointed squarely at the center of my torso. Despite all logic and reasoning pointing to that conclusion, and me knowing that, the declaration still left me dumbstruck.
 
“Hinata…”
 
“I’m a freak,” she whimpered.
 
“Hinata! You are not- so what if you’re a little, unique in that way,” I began, with absolutely no idea how I was going to finish the thought. One hand came up to grab my wrist, the hand that was against her face. Slowly, she looked up at me with the most soul-wrenching look on her face.
 
“I love you Nago,”