Chapter 1 - Hello, Lisa!

 People always mistook me for a girl, whether it was a guy over the phone or unfamiliar teachers counting boys and girls on field trips. Other guys would’ve relished it, since teenage girls loved that crap, but as an Asian kid that grew up feeling tiny compared to the big guys around me, it was just another unpleasant point to add to the list of grievances. Not that I caught any break from the white classmates that knew I was a guy, who constantly picked girl names to call me by and confused strangers. Like the dwarves in Warhammer, I kept an entire mental book of grudges against the white enemy that surrounded us from all over, especially the fat whores in my class that kept saying they wished they could be as pretty and stated over and over how much they wanted to dress me up. They only provoked deep disgust within me. Because of them, I took every sport under the sun to prove my manliness, to no avail.

 If there was one good thing about my life, it was Vera. Our families had close ties going back centuries in the old country, and given that we were the same age and spent our childhoods in the same schools and same places, being best friends, it was simply expected that we would get married. I was in love with her for as long as I could remember, but now that we were both nineteen and about to enter college, it felt like the right time to officially propose and maybe even… do it. 

 Our relationship never advanced beyond simple kissing after all these years, not even up to french kissing. The worst part about it is that white guys in high school always groped her and pulled her in their arms, treating her like a plaything even when I was around, as if they somehow had a right to her simply because she was Asian. It drove me wild with jealousy and a desire for justice. And yet, despite whites fucking with us over and over, Vera mostly kept white friends, and many of them guys… 

 I just needed to marry her before anything worse happened to disrupt our plans. 

 

 The golden cross gleamed as it dangled right above Vera's strawberry ice cream. The day turned out to be sunny and nice despite the grim forecast, and she suggested we go out to do some light shopping and treat ourselves to one of the new vegan places that opened downtown. 

 She spooned more melting ice cream into her mouth, the dainty tongue passing over full lips to pick up any lost drop. Her eyes seemed unbearably dark and mysterious under the elegant hat, but her long straight hair gleamed under the sun’s rays like a lacquered piece of art. 

 The bare shoulder top showed off her honeyed skin, its sleeves reaching all the way to her shiny red nails. There was a restrained elegance about the way she dressed; and yet she never tried to hide anything. The way her chest rested on the table and heaved under the top with any movement of her arm could only be considered obscene. All it took for the flimsy fabric of the top to stretch and show a clear outline of her bra and where it ended.  Whenever she took a call and got up from the table, she would tug on the high-waisted jeans and wiggle back into them being as tight as possible. The way the jeans squeezed her only emphasized the lewdness of her wide hips. Only Vera could go around fully-dressed and look this sexy. 

 Who could have thought that a girl this perfect would be mine? No doubt, she was the best thing in my life. Hell, she was the best thing there was about me, in general. They could laugh at me as much as they wanted - I would be the one fucking and breeding this hottie, while they would be home with their fat wives.  

 Vera started giggling as she spoke over the phone and moved her hand suggestively over her tummy. Who was she talking to? Considering our history I knew adhering to my jealous instincts was a bad idea, especially when following them always led to pain in some way or another. Either nothing happened and Vera came out looking golden, or the things that happened were considered so bad that she came out of the victim. It was more than once that she cried to me about guys staring at her or accidentally brushing their hands over her body. The problem was that she still thought it was okay and normal to be friends with guys, even white ones.

 I saw her laugh again and twirl a lock around her finger, and a couple of times she even gazed my way and winked. Then her fingers moved up her chest to finger the cross, her forearm pushing enticingly into her soft and yielding breasts. 

 The blood rushed straight to my cock and brain. I was horny. Jealous, but horny.  

 Vera ended her call and came back, her face losing much of its previous excitement. I perked up and offered a warm smile. “What’s up? Who was that?” 

“Why do you ask?” She spooned some ice cream in the most casual way possible and sloshed it around her cheeks as her smoldering eyes pierced through mine.

“Why do I ask?” I gulped, suddenly feeling exposed and placed on the defensive. “Just out of curiosity.”

“My friend called,” she said plainly. “He asked me if I could hang out in the afternoon.” 

“What friend?” 

 Vera sighed with all the boredom of a five-hundred-year-old vampire. “Are you doing the jealousy thing again? Seriously? Look, how long are you going to keep at this?” The long red nails tapped unhappily over the table. “You’re never right. I could’ve told you now that it was my parents or a female friend. But I told you the truth. Ben, my piano instructor, wants to hang out tonight and practice for our show. Is there a problem with that?” 

 My brain searched in vain for an answer. The polo shirt I wore began to feel suffocatingly heavy, while the goosebumps that rose across my pale arms were showing in the most transparent way. No, what problem could there be with seeing that guy? They knew each other for years and he seemed super gay, but I just hated the idea of her being around another guy at night. Especially an older white guy she admired. 

 Not that I could explain this to her in any satisfying way. Generally, Vera leaned towards sweet, understanding, and forgiving. Break one of her most prized possessions because of clumsiness, and she would console you over feeling bad and apologize for its poor placement. But if you were going to question her character, if you doubted the veracity of her words, then what followed was a hellstorm brought on by her indignance that turned nastier the more you pursued it. 

“T-There’s nothing wrong with it,” I finally conceded. I wanted to say that it would’ve been better if she spent her limited time with me, but I understood that they needed to prep for the show. It would’ve been if I had friends of my own, especially female friends to make her jealous with; but the only guys I knew that were half-decent were DOTA-playing Slavs from across the world and drunk Aussies that I called with in the middle of the night. I just needed to accept that Vera wasn’t a shut-in and that her real life could come first at times no matter how far our relationship developed. 

 A grimace ruined her exquisite and soft features. “I’m so happy to receive your permission, good sir!” she howled with thick sarcasm, feigning an English accent. What else was I supposed to respond with at this point? Did she seriously want me to beg for forgiveness again? 

 Confronted with her deathly silence, I finally stammered: “Sorry about before.” Vera only shrugged and ate her ice cream, avoiding eye contact, now souring on me completely. Was that not enough? Did I have to humiliate myself to get forgiveness each and every time? Come on...

 My mouth refused to move and produce any further apology; Vera stood up and announced she was going to the bathroom. Her phone was left on the table, and I couldn’t help but think that was intentional. A test of my resolve. That she--

“Excuse me.” 

 The sudden call made me shiver. I glanced up and saw a white guy staring at me, though he stood a respectable distance away from our table. You could say he was a fattie fat fat, with a belly that couldn’t be covered entirely by his sweat-drenched shirt, and a face so chubby his eyes were slits and a second chin trembled as he spoke. He couldn’t have been older than his forties, but it was hard to say. Strangely, he wore a DOTA shirt and the brightest pair of blue sneakers in the world. 

“D-Do you play DOTA?...” he stammered. 

“What?...” 

 A sausage finger pointed towards the table and my own iPhone, from which the DOTA logo dangled down the side of the table. “Oh…” It was hard to deny it now. “I guess so? Why?” 

“Wow. It’s so strange to find a cute girl that plays DOTA. They’re all either into League or Warcraft…” 

 Cute girl? Did he think I was?... What the fuck was this retard saying! Just like that, my awkwardness turned into anger. “I’m not a girl.” 

 The fat face reddened with confusion and got even sweatier. “You’re not?” 

 Just then, Vera showed up and joined in. “What’s going on?” 

“Oh, I just saw your friend and wanted to ask her…” He went ashen and quiet. 

“Her? Why are you saying her?!” I got up and kicked my chair towards him. “I told you I’m not a girl, asshole!” 

 The fat guy opened his mouth slowly. “I…” 

“I’m sorry about my friend,” said Vera, putting a protective arm around my shoulder. “She’s very shy when it comes to guys. Lisa, haven’t I told you to stop overreacting like this? It’s unseemly.”  

 Lisa?... I wasn’t even sure what to say. I must have pissed off Vera significantly to make her want to humiliate me like this in public - perhaps too much to dare cross her now. “Uhm…”  

 Vera winked at me and beamed at the guy. “So, what did you want to say to her?”

 The guy shifted his weight uncomfortably from one foot to another, then wiped the sweat from his forehead. “I just… God, how can I say this to such a cute girl? I know I’m scum, but I just wanted to ask… If maybe she would like to hang out sometimes?” The fat fuck confessed this to my girlfriend as if I weren’t standing right next to him, as if I hadn’t told him mere moments ago that I was not a girl. 

 Was this guy joking? I wasn’t a fucking girl! And why would I want to hang out with some white neckbeard double my age and my weight? LOL! Did he seriously think he could just walk over to an Asian girl half his age and ask her out? God, white guys were fucking dis--

“I’m sure she would like that very much. Lisa is really bad at interacting with people. I mean we’re talking disastrous levels,” Vera commented, giving me a warning stare. “So please excuse her rudeness.”

“Oh, d-definitely!” he stammered happily, his eyes gleaming - or maybe it was some sweat? - as he stood there overjoyed. “I’m also bad with people.” 

 I hoped that Vera would end this joke soon. This was punishment enough. 

 Instead, she placed a thoughtful finger to her chin and took us both in her view. “How about tonight?”

“Tonight? S-Sure!” 

 Tonight? What? I wasn’t hanging out with this guy. “Vera…”

“Silence, Lisa!” she drawled impatiently. “Give me your number, and I’ll make sure she’s there.” 

 And just like that, they exchanged numbers and a promise was made, as if my own opinion wasn’t even remotely relevant. The neckbeard kept turning to wave at me as he walked off...

 This… couldn’t be real. I wasn’t going to go on a date with that guy. Not even if it meant breaking up. This was fucking crazy! 

 Once he disappeared into the distance, I glared at her. “Vera. What the hell was that?”

“What? I set you up on a little playdate. I’m sure it will be fun.” 

“He thinks I’m a girl!” 

“Good. Now you’ll know how hard it is to be a girl. Maybe you’ll stop getting mad and jealous at everything. If that guy had come up to me and asked the same question, you would’ve blamed me. Okay, so I’m blaming you.” She poked a nail in my chest and cackled with satisfaction, like some witch that just won a bet. “You don’t want guys to ask you out? Maybe stop looking so girly, friend! Maybe stop sounding so fucking girly and cut that stupid fucking girly hair!” The way she snapped made me feel like these were things she wanted to express for some time.

“Okay… I’ll go do it right now, okay? The closest barber is a--” 

“No.” Vera shook her head solemnly, stopping any and all possible negotiation. “You’ve got a date now, so you’re going to look your best.” 

“I’m not going on that date.” 

 Vera tilted her head and narrowed her eyes analytically. “Why not?”

“Because I am not a girl.” 

“So what? I mean, it’s just him. You aren’t literally going to turn into a girl. So what’s the problem?” 

 My heart raced just imagining the problems. “Are you serious? What if something happens?” 

 Vera giggled darkly. “What could possibly happen? I mean, do you secretly love old white guys, Lisa?” 

 The words instantly sprung the image of that guy with his arm around me and made me shudder. “Fuck no. But what if--”

“What if what? What if something happens outside of your control? What if he decides to be a fucking pervert and starts touching you? I don’t know, Lisa--”

“Stop calling me that!” I snapped.

“--things like those shouldn’t happen. After all, you’re there. You’re not a statue. You can move and talk, right? Stop him? I’m sure you’ll figure it out. That’s what guys have told me my entire life.”  

 I shook my head fiercely. “I am not going. I am not.” 

“Oh, you’re going. You have two options here, darling. You spend two unpleasant hours that are almost the entirety of my life, or I’m done with you. If you’re good, I’ll reward you.” Each tap of her heels made me jump as she approached me. “Don’t you want to be a good little boy for me?” she whispered hotly. 

 

 I couldn’t believe what she got me to do. 

 The indie music played over the ambient noise of the cafe and people were passing by and checking their phones, but it all felt otherworldly. How could I possibly be here, preparing to meet some guy for a date? Not just a guy, but some creepy old white dude. Vera, if you don’t make this worth my while… 

 It only took so long until he appeared in the doorway, baffled by the interior of the cafe as if he had never been in one in his life (not impossible, given his looks). His eyes scanned the area until we finally made contact. Then he grinned. “Lisa,” he said, coming over and standing by as if to hug me. I remained seated. Very seated. 

“Sit down,” I ordered. 

“Right, right…” 

 His fat ass barely fit on the slender metal work chair. The table was small and made out of glass, and as soon as his hairy arms came down they spread all the way to the edge of my side. Jesus, this guy was huge. Cut it up on the Big Macs a little, huh, fattie? 

 His eyes twinkled as he looked at me. “What?” I snapped. “What is it?”

“You’re just so beautiful. I can’t believe you’re here with me.” 

 I picked up my chair and pushed it back a good distance from the table and his coarse paws. “That makes two of us.” 

“Did I ever tell you my name?”

 I crossed my arms and leaned into the seat. “I don’t care. At all.”

“It’s--”

“Henry.” 

“No, it’s--”

“Henry. Your name is Henry now, just like my name is Lisa.” 

 He stared at me dumbfounded. “Henry?”

“Yes, like Henry VIII.”

“Grim name, no? He killed his wives.” 

 A cruel laugh escaped me. “What, did you think I’d become your fucking wife? Shut the fuck up, Henry. Now order yourself a drink and slam it down your fat fucking gullet so we can go.” 

 The big man was sweating right in front of me. I expected him to leave or maybe curse back at me, but he only responded by lowering his head and slumping like some docile farm animal. He was so big that he could have easily ripped me limb from limb if he wanted to, I knew that much. And yet here he was, doing whatever I said and eating up my insults. It struck me just how similar this was to my relationship with Vera. Only the roles were now reversed…

 A cute girl came to take our orders and Henry ordered himself a beer. A very prole choice, and I wondered what this monster even worked as a job. “Are you laborer, Henry? A man of the people? Don’t tell me you’re some beta IT guy, or I’m leaving right now.” 

 For the first time, he nodded confidently. “I’m an arborist.” 

“A what now?” 

“I work with trees.”

“Jesus. You do have the look of a lumberjack.” 

 Henry sipped his beer and shook his head. “No, no, no, it’s not like that. We don’t cut trees. I mean, sometimes we might have to, but that’s not our job. I just care for the trees. I’m a tree surgeon.”

“A tree surgeon,” I repeated, unable to keep from laughing. “That’s a thing?” 

“Yes, ma’am,” he said, as if that were the only thing about him he could take pleasure in. “What about you?” 

“Let’s not talk about that.” The last thing I wanted was to share information with this guy that could get him to find me. Bad enough that we were here together, though this was a totally unfamiliar area of the city where nobody could recognize me. Thank god for that. 

 I was uncomfortable with the way he stared at me. How could this guy seriously think I was a girl? Wasn’t it obvious that I was a guy? For fuck’s sake, people saw whatever they wanted to see… But his eyes were drinking me up as if I were some supermodel.

 As soon as I finished my drink, I stood up. “I think it’s time to go.”

“So soon?” 

“Yes.” 

 But just as we were out of the cafe, he insisted we go somewhere else. “Come on, let’s just go for a drive. I have a car. We can go anywhere.”

 Vera said she wanted two hours, but barely twenty minutes passed inside there. Fuck. I guessed I could trick Henry into saying we were out for longer, but I feared the truth sooner or later. What would Vera say? Why did I even care? Right now she was with some white guy playing the piano. I didn’t even know what she was doing.

 I became super pissed. She was torturing me while she went to some strange guy's house in another city? What the hell, man? 

 Then, it suddenly dawned on me.

“I want to go to...” 

 Henry gave me a look. “But why? It’s like two hours away.” 

“Are you saying you won’t take me?”

 Henry rushed to unlock the car before I said another word. “We’re going!” he cried. “Like the wind.” 

 He was so stupid and enthusiastic that it made me crack up. I hid my face so he wouldn’t see it, but fuck, I was starting to feel bad for this fat old bastard. He wasn’t all that bad… The fucking tree surgeon. Ahhh, Vera, why did you do this?... 

 I got into the car and we started off. I watched the city passing by, the blood rushing through me as I realized I was heading to spy on Vera, once more giving into my bad instincts. But she put me in this situation. And she sent me on a date with Henry. Both of them were on her. That I managed to take a shitty predicament and turn it into an opportunity was a testament to my brainpower.

 As he drove, Henry kept peering over at me, and I could feel his eyes lingering over my face and body. “Look at me like that again,” I warned him, “and I’ll make sure this car ends up in a river.”

“But then we’d both die.” 

“It’s a risk I’m willing to take.” 

 He did keep quiet for most of the drive, though we played 80s tunes. I was mentally preparing myself for all possibilities. That Vera was doing nothing. That Vera was cheating on me. That Vera found out about my presence before I could discover what truly went on. Maybe this was a bad idea, I thought, but it was already too late. The headlights started showing the signs that our destination was only a few miles away. 

 It took a while to find the area where this damned pianist lived, but I remembered going there with Vera once before, in a nice upper-class neighborhood. Henry parked some distance from the house, then I got out and told him to wait. “I’ll be back in a jiffy. Do not drive off until I’m back, no matter how long I take. Do you understand?” 

 Henry shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “I thought it was a jiffy.” 

 Was this fat moron serious? “Okay, change of plans. Give me the keys.” 

“What?”

“Just give me the keys, asshole!” 

 He quickly passed them over and they jingled as I slid them into my pocket. “Okay, good. See you soon.” 

 Thankfully, it was dark as fuck out, a cloudy night that didn’t even show a sign of the moon or stars. I found Ben’s house and scaled the joke of a fence, then ended up in his zen garden. The lights in the house were on, and as soon as I peered in I spotted the two of them sitting at the piano, playing in unison. Even with my ear against the glass, I couldn’t hear anything. Soundproof?

 They’re not doing anything, I realized after I watched them for a few minutes. This made me feel awful for doubting Vera. Still… I wasn’t ready to go yet. I crouched in the bushes as they brought the song to a crescendo and then finished with a few mournful notes. I heard Vera play enough that I could hear it in my head even without any sound.

 Ben spoke to Vera and she blushed and nodded. Then the asshole leaned in to whisper straight into her ear, and his gaze passed over the window. I hid, terrified that he might have seen me... though nothing happened. When I glanced back inside they were gone from the piano. Where are they? 

 My heart raced as I made my way around the house, trying to find them again. They turned out to be in the kitchen, but that opened straight to the garden, so looking through was out of the glass wall was out of the question. Instead, I angled my neck until I could catch a glimpse of the door from the living room window. All I could see was the arch of Vera’s perky butt. God, it looked so good. 

 My girlfriend took a step back and then I saw him as well, both of them holding wine glasses. I noticed she wore the exact outfit as before, but the top was further down her arms, the front low enough that it gave a teasing view of the start of the creamy upper peaks of her breasts, a delightful sight denied to me, yet somehow offered to him. Vera listened intently to whatever Ben was saying, her nails clicking against the glass. 

 This pianist was big enough that she barely made it to his chest, and his biceps and pecs popped out of his shirt. His chiseled jaw was rough from all the shaves, and the carefully swept hair of his head shimmered gold in the light. The worst part was the distinct bump in his pants that neither one of them acknowledged despite its growing size and occasional movement.

  Was he hard while talking to my girlfriend? My jealousy made my head spin. Wasn’t he supposed to be gay? I thought he was gay. He looked gay. This guy… Why was he standing so close to her? And what could he be saying to get Vera so enraptured? His body was so imposing that it made her look like a child. 

 Was this what alphas looked like? It made me feel uncomfortable looking at him. For one, there was no way I could ever be that tall. And there was certainly no way I could get that jaw. At most I could beef up my body, and then instead of being a slender guy I would just be roided up manlet that people kept on laughing at for different reasons.

 Vera spoke instead, and her fingers started moving up and down his forearms arms, caressing suggestively it as the words left her red lips. Just from the way she touched him it was easy to tell that she was enchanted with this guy. His hand came up and moved through her liquid black hair, and then she leaned into his palm, letting him cup her cheek. His other arm came around her back… then moved down to her ass as he brought her in for a kiss.  

 This was no simple kiss like the ones Vera and I shared. It was a long and detailed open-mouth make-up session during which his fingers explored her whole body. The sight of those gross white fingers going all over my Asian princess left me paralyzed. How could she allow him to do this to her? How? We were going to be married… We…

 The strong arm just pulled her decisively. Ben felt the heat of her petite body as he smothered her against his hard chest, her head nuzzled in his pecs as his veiny hands groped her ass, the strength in them so overwhelming that Vera’s knees buckled as he abused the innocent cheeks.

 Then, out of nowhere, he pushed her away and slapped her with the back of his hand. It was such a savage blow that she flew out of her heels and crashed to the ground. Vera put her arm out to ward him off and started crawling away while he meaningfully and imposingly followed after her, removing the belt from his pants. 

 Do I call the police? I wondered. But how could Vera not scream if this was for real? No, this was probably some fucked up game of theirs. They came all the way back into the living room until he finally rushed and slammed his foot into her chest, keeping her pinned to the floor. Vera flailed helplessly, then Ben came down and raised her back up and took something out his pocket… her phone. 

 His thumb hit the screen a couple of times, then he placed it on the table and locked eyes with her. I wondered what he did, until my pants buzzed. “Shit, shit, shit!” I whispered, afraid they might hear something. I took it out and answered breathlessly. “Yeah?” 

“Honey?” said Vera softly. “How are you?” 

 Did they know? What was this? “I’m okay,” I said. “You?”

“Oh, I’m just here practicing. How’s your date going?” 

“Fine… He’s uh--” I gulped painfully as I watched them through the window. “An arborist.”

“Interesting. Well, I’m sorry I was so quick with you today. I just wanted you to know that I love you.” 

 As she spoke, Ben stepped forwards and pulled her blouse over her head and threw it away. Vera just stood there submissively in her bra, staring blankly as he prepared to undress the rest of her. She jumped as his palm caressed her tummy, then went down to undo her jeans. It was the first time I ever saw her without full clothing. Only the cross fell between her tits. The first time I caught a glimpse of her full cleavage and the long toned legs. All because this white guy was undressing her for his pleasure.

“Honey?” Vera called out. 

 I blinked and struggled to speak. “I’m here.”

“You know I’d never cheat on you or hurt you right?” Right as she said the words, he unclasped her bra and let it fall. Her full and round breasts were right there, even more exquisite than they were in my dreams, big and soft, yet perfectly balanced and supple, with cute nipples that hardened like pink little bullets. Ben ran a finger down her hip and she squirmed, her breasts so heavy that they rocked gently over her delicate torso. The white bastard let his eyes rest on them casually, as if they were his property, and Vera looked exhilarated to be the focus of his potent gaze.

“I love you,” I found myself saying, not knowing what else to say.

 Without any word from him, she let her panties drop and stepped out of them, presenting her body to him like a slave waiting to satisfy her master.

“I love you too,” she cooed, but her eyes were on him. Desperately locked.

 Ben picked up the phone and ended the call. He yanked her by the hair and kicked the legs from under her with the same savagery as before, then dragged her over to the sofa, her glistening and dripping pussy on full display. Once there, he used the belt and tied it around her wrists, then sat down and brought her body in his lap. 

 The rough fingers stroked her ass tenderly, her usually pale skin looking golden and divine against his white hand. He barked an order and her body twitched instantly... and then the first slap came like a whip over her perfect Asian ass. Vera yelled with such despair that I thought I could hear it, but Ben put his palm over her mouth and went on with the gruesome work. The mark of his hand burned across her cheek, but he followed it with another smack, and then one more, hitting her mercilessly as she shrieked into his palm and struggled uselessly to get away.

 I had never seen Vera cry. Now, tears brimmed in her eyes and then went down her cheeks eyes as she sobbed from the pain; but that did nothing to impress Ben, who went on brutalizing her ass without the smallest facial expression. Just nothing. Only when the first drops of blood showed did I see the slightest curl in his lips, and then it seemed to me that his hits were getting worse, stronger and faster, until Vera’s legs went from kicking in despair to standing still in horror. 

 Then he stopped. Just like that, he released her bonds and pushed her off to the floor like the discarded wrapper of a candy. Vera took a moment to regain her composure, then quickly rushed over and knelt before him, raising her bleeding ass up high as her lips went down to kiss his feet, giving me an ample view of her abused cheeks and the pussy between them. She wasn’t just wet, but drenched, her inner thighs glistening like jewels.  

 I expected Ben to grab her and fuck her right then and there. Who could pass up such an irresistible treat? Instead, he comfortably rested his legs over her back, using her bent body as footstool while she shivered in nerve-wracking pain under him. His hand reached for the remote. Then he turned on the TV and relaxed, as if there were no one else in the room, and my girlfriend was nothing more than a piece of furniture. 

 I waited, and waited, thinking that she had to get up at some point. Half an hour passed and the night air was freezing. The only thing that changed was that Vera relaxed entirely and stood as still as actual furniture. 

 I have to do something. I called her phone, thinking he would put her on and give her a break from this suffering, but Ben reached for it instead. I wanted to hang up, but he picked up without hesitation. “Hello?” His deep voice rumbled over the speaker.

“Hi… Is this Ben? I asked warily. “I was looking for Vera.” 

“I know.” I could feel his smile through the call, but it was replicated in real life. This psycho. “She’s feeling under the weather and went to the bathroom. She told me to give you the rundown if you called. We called her dad to pick her up, but she might stay over if he doesn’t make it soon..” 

“Is she… okay?”

“Just temporarily indisposed,” he said calmly, not even bothering to glance down at her. One of his feet danced absentmindedly as they hovered over her butt. 

“Oh.” 

“I’ll just have her call you back when she’s feeling better, okay?”

“Yeah.” 

“Take care, buddy.” 

 Buddy? Did he call me buddy? There was a pit in my stomach as I watched this guy treating my future wife as furniture. I never even kissed her properly, and this is the sort of stuff she was doing with him? She was submitting herself to this abusive treatment from this scummy white guy? Not just any white guy, but this stereotypical chad that was my complete opposite. This blonde perfect jawlined fuck. 

 I wanted to go buy a gun and massacre both of them. Ben deserved it for doing this to me, and Vera deserved it for being a race traitor fucking whore. I’ll show you what a girl I am, I told myself, already seeing their blown-up skulls before me. 

 I got up feeling angry and confident, ready to kill, but as I distanced myself from the house the heat wore off, and the realization of what I just saw seeped into the deepest core of my being. The one girl I thought was mine was someone else’s. She was his first, and no matter what excuse she gave for her behavior, she was corrupted beyond redemption in my eyes. I could never trust her again. See her the same way again. 

 The one thing I ever had in this godforsaken existence, and it was taken away from me permanently. 

 I started sobbing uncontrollably, and my tears poured so badly that I nearly passed the car by. I got in and found Henry sleeping, though he woke up concerned at the sound of my crying. I wanted to stop, to not humiliate myself any further, but I couldn’t. It was like some fucking alien was trying to escape my chest and it kept beating violent, my teeth chattering without control. 

 Henry reached out and took my hand. “Lisa, honey, you’re freezing.”

“Don’t you fucking call me that! My name is not Lisa! My name is Greg! MY NAME IS FUCKING GREG!” I shrieked. “You dumb fuck! I’m not a girl, can’t you see that? Are you fucking blind? Or are you just such a desperate neckbeard that you’d fuck a guy if you could? TELL ME!” 

 Henry just gulped and bit his lip. “Li-- Greg. I don’t know what happened, but it’s going to be okay.”

“He ruined my fucking life.” My hand snapped out and hit the dashboard, but I only cried harder from the pain. It nearly broke my hand. I was so weak. So weak. Just a weak girly boy that got his girlfriend stolen away from him. She sent me on a date with Henry so she could go fuck this white guy. This fucking bitch! “BITCH!!” I screamed. 

 Henry watched me, terrified. “Who is, Greg?” 

“Vera is. Vera and her fucking piano teacher.” 

“Right. This piano teacher hurt you?” 

“You’re so fucking stupid, Henry.” I laughed and buried my face in my palms. “HE RUINED MY LIFE! HE TOOK EVERYTHING FROM ME! EVERYTHING! YOU UNDERSTAND? YOU STUPID FAT FUCK? YOU WHITE FUCKING… FUCKING… NECKBEARD FAT!” I struggled to find even words. My head hurt. The screaming was helping me calm down, but my head was going to explode. My eyeballs hurt and were throbbing so hard I thought they would pop out of the damn sockets.

 Henry reached out and put his hairy hand on my shoulder. “You tell me where he is and I’ll crush his fucking skull in,” he said solemnly. 

“And how are you going to do that, Henry? Look at you. You’re fucking fat. You’re a hippo.” 

“I have a bat.” 

“And you’re just going to beat his head in? In public? Are you stupid, Henry?”

“I have a mask, too. A hockey mask. Just for such occasions.” 

 I wasn’t sure what I was listening to anymore. Was this a dream? A nightmare? Henry was plainly telling me to carry a hockey mask for occasions like these? “You often beat people up in the middle of the night?” 

“If I have to. People love to fuck with the trees, Lis-- Greg. The law is not on our side.”

 My fist reached out and hit Henry in the arm. He cried out a little, but it felt good. I hit him again, and again. “Greg!” he cried. “What are you doing?” 

“Henry, give me that fucking bat. Right now.” 

 He rushed out of the car and opened the trunk, then quickly handed me the bat. I think the idiot expected me to go after Ben, so when I aimed it at him and started swinging, he just yelled. “Stop, Lisa!” 

 The bat went at him again. “IT’S GREG!” 

“Greg, please! We’re friends! We’re friends!” 

 It felt good to beat him. He tried to protect his body, and god knows the rolls of fat were everywhere, but I just let him have it. These white fucks. I wasn’t a girl. I wasn’t one. And they took her from me. They took Vera. It felt good to sink that bat into Henry’s plush fucking belly. To smack him on the back. “FUCK YOU ALL!” 

 I’m not sure how many hits I landed, though by the end the bat dropped out of my hands. I wanted Henry to be squealing on the ground like a pig, but he was just staring at me with the same dumb, confused look of his, when I lost balance and my whole body came crashing down. “Fuck…” 

 You, I wanted to say, just as I passed out. Fuck you. 

