Chapter 0 - delayed confession

Peacetime does not always mean peaceful times, and Flayn finds that after the war comes to a close, she is just as busy as she was during, always running all over the monastery as they figure out how to adjust to the world as it is now. She and the rest of those with the church have more work than ever before, and she is lucky that several of the students from Byleth’s class, who were present to aid them with the war effort, have opted to remain at the monastery for the time being, to aid with the reconstruction efforts.

Among those students is Linhardt, someone that had the chance to get very close to during her time as a student, and again during the war. Though his advancements regarding her crest and his research were off putting at first, the two built a bond that went far beyond that, culminating when, just before the war ended, Linhardt told her outright that he liked her. Flayn has been confessed to over the years, but usually by those who don’t know her well, admiring her from afar and waiting until she’s free from Seteth’s gaze to go all out, but she has never been confessed to by someone that she is actually close to.

Certainly, she has never been confessed to by someone that she would consider saying yes to.

But it was hardly the right time to start a relationship, and she insisted they put things on hold for now, which Linhardt did not argue with. She feels bad for making him wait for her, but it simply wasn’t the right time, and now she’s been too busy to take the time to give him a proper confession, though she does wish that they could begin to move things along. Flayn doesn’t intend to make him wait too much longer, but she doesn’t have a lot of time to spare, and doesn’t always know where to find him, or what he’s busy with.

In fact, she barely has time to worry about herself, let alone Linhardt. It is nothing short of a miracle that she finds time to eat three meals a day, and she isn’t getting nearly as much sleep as she would like to. Often, she is so distracted with her tasks that she doesn’t pay attention to anything else, not even her own needs, regardless of how urgent they may be. Which is to say, she’s ended up with several close calls upon realizing that she’s neglected to relieve herself right up to the very last minute, ignoring it until it’s impossible to ignore it anymore. She’s had several close calls, but she’s made it every time, and that, at least, is a good thing.

Flayn doesn’t intend to make Linhardt wait for her, and certainly not so long that even someone like him could get impatient with her, but, without meaning to, she lets that drag out for far too long as well. He does get impatient, or at least decides that it’s more worth it to confess to her again, rather than waiting for her to come around and give him her answer. So he finds her one day, approaching her when she’s mostly alone, hurrying through the monastery, and insisting that she give him some of her time.

Normally, this wouldn’t be a problem. Normally, even if she were busy, she would be able to talk a few moments for someone as important to her as Linhardt. However, he did not catch her at a free moment, or even in the middle of a task. Flayn had just excused herself from her work because she had something more pressing to take care of, and she can either tell Linhardt that she’s busy with that , or she can hear him out, despite how urgent this has gotten.

Though the more rational part of her knows that Linhardt would likely wait for her, the fear of making him wait only for him to decide he’s tired of waiting for her is prevalent. Likewise, though he probably won’t ask what’s so urgent, if he does, she thinks she would be far too embarrassing to actually have to tell him what the problem was. So, despite the intense throbbing in her bladder, she decides to hold it a little longer, and hear him out.

Never mind the fact that she only realized how bad her need had gotten because of a particularly sharp pang, and a sudden leak that she just barely managed to put a stop to before it turned into something worse. She has everything under control now, so she will be just fine.

“You’ve been increasingly harder to get a hold of lately, Flayn,” says Linhardt.

“We have all been busy since the war ended,” she replies, not sure what else to say. She subconsciously squeezes her thighs together, then quickly pulls them back apart when she realizes what she is doing.

“You don’t need to remind me. All I’ve wanted to do since the war ended is find a place to hide away and nap for a day or two, but even I haven’t had a chance,” he replies.

“You could have returned to your home.” She resists the urge to squeeze her thighs together again, trying to ignore her aching bladder as much as she can without relinquishing control. Flayn knows exactly what he’s come to talk to her about, but he isn’t exactly getting to the point, and this conversation probably won’t be brief. Maybe she should have excused herself first after all.

“Are you kidding me? That would probably mean even more work, if you can believe that,” he says with a sigh. “But that’s beside the point. Flayn, I had something that I wanted to discuss with you. I know you had said we could talk about this later, but it’s later, and it doesn’t seem like we’ve had much of a chance yet.”

“I...I apologize, I have not had the proper chance to talk to you, but I promise I did not forget.” It is taking all she has to keep her mind on the conversation at hand. Even knowing how important it is is not enough to distract her from the distress signals that her bladder is sending out. Or perhaps she shouldn’t allow herself to grow distracted from it, or else she might grow too relaxed, and then…

“No need to apologize, I understand, but that’s why I decided to find you myself. If you’re not busy right now, I’d really like to talk to you.”

Now, she has the perfect out. She can be honest and explain the situation, and ask him to wait just a few minutes, or she can even lie and say she’s working on something else, and arrange a time to meet later in the day. Surely he would understand either of those, and surely he wouldn’t mind waiting just a little bit longer, when she isn’t even brushing him off. He’ll know that she’s sincere.

“Of course, I have some time to talk,” she finds herself saying, wanting to scream in frustration once the words are out of her mouth.

“That’s good,” he says, taking a moment to think before he starts, and she spends every second of silence fighting back whimpers and trying to remain still. “I’m sure you already know what it is I want to talk about with you.”

“You would like my answer,” she replies, hoping that she’s just imagining her voice wavering, and that Linhardt doesn’t notice anything amiss.

“I would, but I’d like for you to give me a chance to better explain myself,” he says. “I told you before that I like you, and I meant that. Spending time with you has been something very special, and you’re one of the only people I enjoy spending so much time with.”

Clenching her hands into fists at her side, Flayn vows to herself that she will hear him out to the end, no matter what. No matter how uncomfortable she may be right now, she will ignore that. After all, it’s not often she gets such a genuine confession, and she plans to accept at the end, so it wouldn’t do for her to let her mind wander during this conversation.

He continues on, saying, “I meant it when I told you that I like you, and I wanted to know what you felt, but things are a little different now. We won this war, and perhaps everything will be peaceful from now on, but what if it isn’t? Or what if things hadn’t turned out so favorably? If that were the case, I couldn’t imagine if I lost you, or if I died before...well. Flayn, what I’m trying to say is that I want you to know that I’m in love with you, and I want to be with you. Not because of any experiments, or Crests, but just because I do.”

To hear him put it all into words is enough to cause her heart to skip a beat, and Flayn bites her lip as she tries to think of the proper response. She loves him, of course; she’s known that she loves him for some time now, and had the same fear of someday losing him, before they had a real chance together. She is so happy right now that she can think of nothing else but how best to tell him of her own feelings, and that distraction proves to be her undoing, turning the happiest moment of her life into the most humiliating.

She gasps at the sudden spurt of liquid that escapes, her knees buckling as she tries to stop the flow. But one spurt turns into another, and then another, and she is speechless, squeezing her thighs together and panicking, while it becomes very obvious to Linhardt that something is wrong with her. He stares at her in confusion and she wants to beg him to look away, so that at least he doesn’t have to see this, but her mouth opens and closes uselessly as she loses control.

The worst part about it all is how good it feels to finally empty her bladder, whether it’s against her will or not. After holding back for so long, it feels so good to let go, suddenly and completely. At first, her dark dress conceals what’s actually happening, but it isn’t long before a puddle begins to form at her feet, and she stares down at the ground, blinking back tears. All the while, she keeps thinking that she shouldn’t leave Linhardt hanging, she hasn’t answered his confession yet, he’s waiting for her answer…

And then she thinks that it doesn’t really matter, because there’s no way he still means that now.

There is a long stretch of silence after it’s done before Linhardt speaks up. “Flayn…? Are you...alright?”

“I am so terribly sorry,” she says, in a small voice. “I have been so busy today that I have not had a moment to myself, and when you found me, I was on my way to...to…”

“You could have said something,” he says, and his tone is sympathetic, but that hardly means anything. Of course he’ll be nice to her, and treat her like a child, which she’s sure is what he thinks of her.

“I-I know that, but I did not want to...I put you off for so long, and I…”

“We’ve both been too busy,” Linhardt says. “That much is obvious. Which, by the way...you haven’t give me your answer yet.”
“I...what?” Did she hear him correctly?

“I know you’re probably in a hurry to clean up, and I’ll help you with that, but if you waited that long just to hear me out, could you please give me your answer?”

Flayn has no idea what to make of this. He should be disgusted with her, or at least think she’s too immature to bother with, and instead, he’s hardly batting an eye. It’s a strange reaction, but one that makes her feel a little better all the same.

“Linhardt, I...I have to admit that I feel the same. This was not how I envisioned telling you, but…” She looks up at him to see that he’s smiling. “I do love you.”

“That’s wonderful!” he says. “I’m glad we finally got that taken care of. Now, you probably don’t want to linger here for long, so would you like some help cleaning up?”

She tells him that he doesn’t have to, that it’s her mess and she can handle it alone, but he insists. If she ever doubted his feelings, she certainly couldn’t now; Linhardt doesn’t go out of his way to help just anyone. And, as embarrassing as it is to have him help with something like this, it’s touching all the same.

He follows her back to her room after that, and she’s glad that her dress is dark enough that no one can tell, at a glance, what’s happened to her. Her wet clothes have gone cold around her, and she can’t wait to get them off, but when Linhardt follows her into her room, it becomes apparent that he feels the same way.

Somehow, it makes perfect sense that it’s come to this, though it also makes no sense at all, with how she humiliated herself. If it weren’t for that, she would understand this outcome, and wanted it- wants it still- but Linhardt continues as if it didn’t happen. He’s always been kind to her, but especially now, and so, she’s glad, at least, that she doesn’t have to wait for him any longer.
They’re both blowing off work right now, but as she locks the door behind her, she couldn’t care less. She would say that they’ve both earned it, and she apologizes again for the mess as he helps her undress.

“It’s no problem, really,” he replies, and she wonders, briefly, if there might be something more to this, but she decides not to question it right now. Instead, she decides to be more forward, pulling him into a kiss.

They alternate between kissing each other and helping each other out of their clothes, until they tumble onto her bed, with Linhardt on top of her. She’s never done anything like this, but she’s sure he hasn’t either; she has wanted this for longer than she can possibly say.

When he kisses down her body, he finds one of her nipples with his lips and it feels so good that she could cry. It makes sense that Linhardt can so easily find where she would be so sensitive, what with how well-read he is, and so, she supposes a lack of experience won’t be much of a hurdle for someone like him. And while he flicks his tongue over her nipple, earning gasps and moans from her, he drops a hand between her legs, causing her to jolt in surprise.

She’s become rather acquainted with her own body over the years, but Linhardt wastes no time in getting caught up, and it isn’t long before her touch has her whimpering, trembling with how badly she needs him. He never lets up with his hand or his mouth, not until she is sure that she will come undone at any moment. And then, as if sensing this, Linhardt stops abruptly.

“Do you think that was enough preparation?” he asks. “I know it’s supposed to take a bit of work the first time, but I don’t know exactly how much, so-”

“I am ready,” she replies, her voice nearly breaking as she just barely manages to speak. Truthfully, she doesn’t know if she is, but she doesn’t want to wait a moment longer, and she’s sure that he doesn’t either.

“Alright, then let me just…” He shifts their positions, until she can feel him pressed between her legs, and she tenses reflexively, having to reminder herself to breathe, to relax. She is excited and she is nervous, and above all, happy to be sharing this with Linhardt.

There is a brief moment of hesitation before he pushes forward, moving his hips so that he can begin to fit the tip inside of her. She realizes again that she’s holding her breath, and tries deep and steady breaths, trying not to tense up again as he slowly fits himself into her. He takes his time, doing this as gently as possible, and giving her the time that she needs to adjust. It is slow going, but then, any traces of pain begin to fade away, and when he asks her if she is doing alright, she is able to tell him that she’s ready for more.

His first few thrusts are hesitant, but as he becomes confident that he isn’t hurting her, he finds a steady rhythm, driving into her until they are both moaning and breathless and needy. She raises her hips against his to increase the friction, and together they find their pace. Flayn cries out for him and he holds tight to her, just barely holding out as he waits for her. Fortunately, his wait is not a long one, as it doesn’t take much to push her to the edge, and once she is at her limit, she doesn’t bother to hold back.

As she gives in with one last cry, Linhardt reaches his own limit, and they come nearly simultaneously, with his orgasm triggered by the sensation of hers. For a moment after that, everything blurs together, and as she begins to come down, it’s hard to tell how much time has passed at all. She is aware of Linhardt pulling out so that he can lay next to her, pulling her close to him. The room is completely silent now, and she isn’t sure what to say now that that’s done.

Fortunately for her, Linhardt seems to have no issue figuring that out, as he yawns and says, “Well, I think that’s all I have in me for today.”

“Should we not clean up and go back outside?” she asks, and, in response, he pulls her tighter against him.

“Absolutely not,” he replies. “I think we’ve both earned a nap.”

“But you said that that was all you had in you for today,” she points out.

“Exactly. So, then, let’s nap for the rest of the day,” he suggests, and she finds that she can’t bring herself to say no. 

-
If you're interested in my writing updates, please follow my fanfiction twitter @WattStalf

I'll follow back so long as you don't post anything hateful!