I cheated on my boyfriend and I don't want to tell him. I feel really bad because he is a great person.
I enjoy getting to offer support to a live person.
I am having a really hard time with something that I did to my boyfriend.
user
null
Do you want to talk about it?
assistant
Question
Yes, thank you! I was with him since childhood and we are actually still together. I slipped up one night and hate to admit what I did.
user
null
It sounds like you're holding onto a lot of guilt about this incident. Are you comfortable talking about that night?
assistant
Reflection of feelings,Question
Yes, it is intense guilt. I can't think of anything else. I hate to tell you but I cheated on him. I am so sorry and can't look at myself in the mirror.
user
null
That can really weigh you down, beating yourself up with guilt. Does he know about the incident?
assistant
Reflection of feelings,Question
I feel like I am worthless and I don't deserve to ever be happy or laugh again. I really do love him and I don't ever want him to find out what I did. Yes, I cant stop beating myself up. He doesn't know what I did but he is little suspicious.
user
null
You definitely deserve to laugh and be happy. One mistake doesn't define you!
assistant
Affirmation and Reassurance
Thank you! A long time ago his sister told me that he cheated on me and I believed her and so I wanted to get him back.
user
null
It says a lot about your character that you feel badly about this, that you can see and recognize you acted in a way you don't agree with. That's something to build on. That desire to "get even" is definitely understandable.
assistant
Affirmation and Reassurance,Reflection of feelings
I appreciate that and have been thinking about character a lot lately. I do believe he cheated on me first, if that even matters now.
user
null
Do you feel like you got what you needed from the experience, as in, that you've "gotten even"?
assistant
Question
Yes, I feel very even! I won't do it again. Can I ever give up the guilt that I feel and move on in our relationship or do I have to tell him what I did? I have known couples who don't tell each other and they are happy now.
user
null
While it may be true in general that honesty is the best policy, in this case I wouldn't suggest telling him. It is just going to cause angry feelings. But, the fact you already believed he cheated on you and it motivated you to do the same shows a basic lack of trust in this relationship. That's something you should really look at.
assistant
Providing Suggestions,Providing Suggestions
Thank you for making me feel heard. I have been alone in my thoughts and needed to be understood. Yes, I agree with you and I feel like I kind of let it go now that I told you about it. I am going to be in touch regularly of that's okay? I feel so much better now. I can take a deep breath again and I want to go take a walk with my dog now. Thank you for all of your time and understanding.
user
null,null
I'm glad you're feeling better now that you've gotten it out in the open. Of course, you are welcome anytime.
assistant
Affirmation and Reassurance
That sounds great because I want to keep this private and I know you won't tell anyone so I feel really safe here.
user
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