I cannot deal with the death of a parent. This was some years ago but still badly affects me.
Hi there, are you free to talk?
user
null
Hello, how can i help you today?
assistant
Others
I have been feeling terrible about the death of my dad. It would have been his birthday last week and that makes it even worse.
user
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Oh no... I am sorry to hear that. It must be devastating. Was it an accident, illness or natural old age?
assistant
Reflection of feelings
He was only in his early sixties but he suffered a number of health problems, including early onset dementia.
user
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That is rough, both for you and him. I know it's meaningless to tell you not to be sad, however, you can think that he's not in a better place
assistant
Affirmation and Reassurance
I presume you mean now and not not ;). Though I simply am not a believer. It just made me think how meaningless life was.
user
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oh sorry, yyeah I mean now. Life is... fleeting isn't it? I sometimes think it's meaningless too
assistant
Self-disclosure
I do not really know what to do about my feelings. They are not going away.
user
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I feel you, coping with losing your loved ones is never easy. In fact, it's confusing when you grieve and even when you recover and move on
assistant
Self-disclosure
Do you think that people ever really recover from a significant bereavement? I think that what you said there was very wise. Maybe it's worse, in some ways, to feel that your grief has lessened .. there is guilt that comes with that.
user
null,null
I don't think people can completely get over that, you just get used to the pain of not having them around
assistant
Affirmation and Reassurance
Whilst it hurts to think about him being dead, I think that it would hurt more if I had totally forgotten about him and did not think about him every day.
user
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I just need you to know that whatever your feeling is, it's completely normal and you shouldn't feel guilty for having it
assistant
Affirmation and Reassurance
It is just - very hard. I keep thinking about all the times I disagreed with him or did not appreciate him enough and I never got to tell him how much I loved him.
user
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Your dad wouldn't want to see you grieving everyday either. You should live the way you know he'd love to see I believe he knew you loved him regardless how much you two argued
assistant
Affirmation and Reassurance,Affirmation and Reassurance
I know that he did :). I had just not expected to lose him at such a comparatively young age. He did not get to enjoy his retirement!
user
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That's sad when he spent all his time taking care of the family and yet could not enjoy his free time
assistant
Reflection of feelings
Yes. I think it would have been easier to deal with had he not immediately descended into very bad health as soon as he retired and had had time to have some fun.
user
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have you considered seeking therapist? We almost never think of that service, but in a lot of case, people actually need help from professionals when grieving
assistant
Question
I can't really afford to have therapy at the moment. Also I know that my dad was just have considered it to be a waste of money - he was very careful with money.
user
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he seemed to be a great man. Instead of regretting what happened, celebrate how great of a person he was
assistant
Others
That is a really sensible suggestion and it cheers me up to think of it. You have been a really great help to me.
user
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I'm glad I could be some help for you
assistant
Others