johnny dangerously is a 1984 american parody of 1930s ' crime/gangster movies .

it was directed by amy heckerling ; its four screenwriters included bernie kukoff and jeff harris .

the film stars michael keaton as an honest , goodhearted man who is forced to turn to a life of crime to finance his mother 's skyrocketing medical bills and to put his younger brother through law school .

it also features joe piscopo , marilu henner , maureen stapleton , peter boyle , griffin dunne , dom deluise , danny devito , dick butkus and alan hale , jr .

johnny dangerously

johnny dangerously <EOT> clark kenting : everybody knows that johnny kelly is johnny dangerously except his mother and brother .

: after dundee credits how johnny " lives dangerously , " johnny took " dangerously " as a last name to hide his true identity .

" around here you ' re johnny kelly , a law abiding nightclub owner . not the notorious gangster johnny dangerously " .

batman : mask of the phantasm , johnny dangerously , batman & mr . freeze : subzero

if you want to answer the questions , " who starred in the movie johnny dangerously ? " and " what is the full cast list of johnny dangerously ? " then this page has got you covered .

awesome mccoolname : johnny ' s nickname comes after he ' s told that he likes to live dangerously .

looking for movie tickets ? enter your location to see which movie theaters are playing johnny dangerously near you .

this cast list of who was in johnny dangerously includes both lead and minor roles . ( 15 items )

johnny dangerously cast list , listed alphabetically with photos when available . this list of johnny dangerously actors includes any johnny dangerously actresses and all other actors from the film . you can view additional information about each johnny dangerously actor on this list , such as when and where they were born . to find out more about a particular actor or actress , click on their name and you ' ll be taken to page with even more details about their acting career . the cast members of johnny dangerously have been in many other movies , so use this list as a starting point to find actors or actresses that you may not be familiar with .

a hilarious send up of old gangster movies . set in the 1930 ' s , it tells the story of johnny kelly a . k . a . johnny dangerously ( keaton ) .

“all right , here it is . johnny dangerously is going legit . ” “le - what ? ” “legit . ” “le - why ? ”

" johnny dangerously , " a spoof of ' 30s gangster pictures , is a movie with two comic strategies , two laughs and no acting . the strategies :

title johnny dangerously year 1984 distributor ( s ) 20th century fox film co . ltd classified date ( s ) 16 / 11 / 1984 approved footage 8115 + 4 bbfc reference aff040426

healthcare motivation : this is what originally drives johnny kelly to becoming a gangster .

luxury prison suite : johnny ' s prison - striped three - piece suit .

johnny speaks directly to the children in the audience about the importance of not smoking .

something else also rises : " sounds like johnny ' s gettin ' laid . "

victoria ' s secret compartment : when lil arrives with johnny ' s bail money .

thematic theme tune : " weird al " yankovic ' s " this is the life " over the opening credits explains how it feels to be filthy rich . the song " dangerously " sung by lil ' later in the movie could be this , but it is less about johnny dangerously than it is about lil ' s lust for him .

baby carriage : one of the would - be assassins of johnny is hiding in a baby carriage .

prisoner : johnny and the mothers are playing " stompin ' at the savoy " in vermont tonight .

a fun and entertaining spoof of the gangster genre , johnny dangerously pulls no punches . the story follows a kid named johnny who joins a new york crime syndicate and rises to the top , but when his brother becomes a d . a . johnny is forced to choose between his crime family and his blood family . starring michael keaton , peter boyle , joe piscopo , marilu henner , and danny devito , the film has a strong cast and they deliver some good performances . the slapstick and sight gags are also pretty well - done , though not all of the comedy works . the plot ' s a little weak too , but as far as parody films go johnny dangerously is one of the better one of the ' 80s .

johnny notes that his gang has to diversify , or else the japanese gangs will run them out of business .

necessarily evil : johnny gets into organized crime in order to pay for various medical expenses for his ailing mother .

oblivious younger sibling : both johnny ' s brother and mother . it ' s mistakenly thought to be a plot hole that vermin failed to realize johnny ' s real identity from when they were kids ( since he recognized him right away ) , but the real twist is that vermin figures out that the d . a . is johnny ' s younger brother ( he didn ' t know " kelly " was johnny ' s real surname ) .

in a hilarious sendup of gangster movies , johnny dangerously joins the mob to help pay for his sick mother ' s operations , but when he tries to extricate himself and go on the straight and narrow path , he becomes a target for his rivals and the law .

blinding camera flash : johnny gets photographed repeatedly and then promptly walks into the wall he can ' t see anymore .

the wavering " flashback " effect when johnny starts talking about his past life , which both characters on screen notice .

" organized crime has never been so disorganized ! " early theatrical trailer to 1984 ' s underrated mob comedy johnny dangerously . starring michael keaton , joe piscopo , marilu henner , peter boyle , griffin dunne , maureen stapleton , glynnis o ' connor , dom deluise , and danny devito .

danny vermin : * while being dragged away * you shouldn ' t shoot me johnny . my grandmother shot me once . . .

johnny dangerously is a comedic film produced by twentieth century fox in 1984 , and is primarily an affectionate parody of gangster movies set in prohibition - era new york city . the title character is played by michael keaton , portraying a youth who joins an organized crime gang to raise money to pay for medical procedures for his ailing mother .

“we missed the bus . they missed the bus . when’s the next bus ? ” the whole time johnny is on death row is fantastic .

mr . exposition : the pope , and the neighborhood , explain how johnny ' s family doesn ' t know he ' s a gangster .

fun anecdote : at my high school reunion , i talked to a guy i hadn’t seen in 10 years and wasn’t even really that close with in the first place . he asked what i’d been up to and i replied , “i’ve become a real scumbag . ” if it weren’t for johnny dangerously , i might have had to be dishonest .

but none of keaton’s movies matter , not even birdman , when it comes to a movie that some of us think is the best and most absurdly underrated film of his great career . on december 21 , 1984 , keaton hit the big screen with joe piscopo , marilu henner and a cast of character actors in johnny dangerously , the story of johnny kelly , a sweet nightclub owner who loves his mama by day and one of the city’s most notorious criminals by night . much like top secret , which was released earlier that same year , johnny dangerously received a mild reception from critics and earned limited spoils at the box office , because at that point in time , the spoof genre was simply dried up . johnny was the second feature effort of director amy heckerling , but back then her name carried little value , because her first film , fast times at ridgemont high , was initially hated by critics . little did they know these films would help her become a god of the cult classics .

1 . johnny dangerously ( michael keaton ) , a racketeer with a heart of gold , is trying to persuade his brother tommy ( griffin dunne ) to stay in law school ; his brother wants to get married so he can sleep with his girlfriend . johnny shows him a reel titled " your testicles and you " that effectively parodies sex - ed instructional films . this kind of sight gag isn ' t what you ' d call sophisticated , but hey , you take what you can get .

" i ' m sorry johnny , i just don ' t have the tits for it . . . i mean . . . heart . "

improbable weapon user : young johnny disarms one of moronie ' s men with a thrown newspaper and inflicts a groin attack on another thug with another .

johnny dangerously has a clear focus on what it ' s parodying , but a lot of the humour can fly over you before you realize there was supposed to be a joke . it ' s either a step ahead of the audience , or awfully subtle at times . the film can be quite funny , but there ' s this delay where you have to think about the jokes that took place before deciding whether to laugh or not , which feels delayed and awkward . maybe it ' s me , who knows . johnny dangerously does still make for a lightly enjoyable spin - off of gangster films of the 30 ' s ( or just in general ) , it ' s just a bit of hit and miss .

big applesauce : johnny has to remind lil that they ' re in new york after she mentions coming to chicago to make her way in the world .

don ' t tell mama : parodied , since to everyone but johnny ' s mother it ' s painfully clear that he ' s a mob boss .

the pardon : johnny gets one from the mayor after saving him and the d . a . , tommy kelly , from vermin ' s attempted assassination .

throwing the fight : johnny , at his mother ' s imagined insistence , takes a dive during the fight with tommy , and promises to go legit .

you mentioned pauly dangerously , but this article fails simply because there is no mention of the film being so influential it gave the stage name to one of the greatest managers , promoters and talkers in the wrestling business .

" weird " al yankovic wrote and performed a song for the film called " this is the life " . the song can be heard in some tv airings of the film during the opening credits as well as on some home video versions . the music video for the song contained many scenes from the movie and was shot in a night club setting making it look just like johnny dangerously !

" of course , we all know that ( as does all of johnny ' s old neighborhood ) , but the rest of the dundee gang don ' t .

" dj storm & johnny dangerous . . . " the youtube account associated with this video has been terminated due to multiple third - party notifications of copyright infringement .

the opening scenes of " johnny dangerously " are so funny you just don ' t see how they can keep it up . and you ' re right : they can ' t . but they make a real try . the movie wants to do for gangster films what " airplane ! " did for " airport , " and " top secret ! " did for spy movies . it has its work cut out ; this formula consumes comic inspiration at an exhausting rate , and the gangster movie is not exactly an original target for satire . what distinguishes " johnny dangerously " from the other attempts in this direction is the caliber of the actors : this is a high - class cast , having fun with the material , and bringing a certain reality to some of the characters almost in spite of themselves .

guys and dolls starring frank sinatra , jean simmons , marlon brando , vivian blaine , robert keith , stubby kaye , b . s . pulley , johnny silver , sheldon leonard

actor michael keaton is one of the stars of the new film “spotlight , ” the fact - based story of journalists who uncovered the child abuse scandal in the catholic archdiocese of boston . he says he was honored to take the role because he is a news junkie . he also tells today’s savannah guthrie that several people from the vatican have been surprisingly supportive of the film , and even admitted to being fans of keaton’s earlier work , specifically the movie “johnny dangerously”

do not do this cool thing : when johnny has to talk tommy into staying in law school , because tommy wants to get married right away . . . to be able to have sex with his girlfriend . johnny tells him that sex with beautiful dames is a " living hell , " and he ' s forced to show his young brother an army vd film to scare him straight .

resignations not accepted : johnny attempts to turn himself in to the crime commissioner in an effort to go legit , but ends up getting framed by vermin for killing the commissioner and sent to prison .

the great shame is that this mess belongs to director amy heckerling , whose gentle touch made " fast times at ridgemont high " so much more than a teen sex comedy . heckerling seems lost and distracted here - - the framing is careless , and the film moves with a stuttering pace . why is this talented director being channeled into projects like this ? " johnny dangerously , " now playing at area theaters , is rated pg - 13 for violence and occasional profanity .

the bet : tommy , not wanting to arrest his older brother , challenges johnny to a fight , where the loser has to quit their respective jobs of being a district attorney and a gangster , respectively .

the movie begins its light - hearted path with an animated credits opening featuring images of manhattan locales set to " weird al " yankovic ' s song " this is the life " . we are introduced to the owner of " kelly ' s pet shop , " mr . kelly , who apprehends a would - be thief and , after being treated to a tough - guy attitude , begins to tell the tale of his own past . . . the criminal known as " johnny dangerously . "

while i have no statistics to back this up , i am confident that more people still quote this line in their daily dialogue than any other line in movie history . it goes so well with anything , from being interrupted in conversation to someone borrowing your copy of johnny dangerously and then never returning it . fargin’ iceholes , my friends are . danny vermin was full of great quotes , including another fun one that my friends and i used to think was great until everyone became overly sensitive to every word in the english language .

1 . dredge up the cliche ' s of b - moviemaking with a literal - minded absurdism . this might be called the " airplane ! " approach . so " johnny dangerously " opens with a street scene bearing the legend " 1935 , " and the ho - ho is that the logo actually exists in the scene ( a passing car smashes it to smithereens ) . or a character says , " sure , and i ' m the pope , " in his best tough - guy style , and who shows up but - - the pope !

michael keaton plays johnny as a sweet , sort of gentle gangster who doesn ' t see any need to stir things up . his archenemy is danny vermin , played by joe piscopo , and there are a lot of other interesting characters around , including marilu henner as a sex bomb who spends some of her most intimate moments on top of a piano ; peter boyle as an eminently reasonable mob patriarch , and maureen stapleton as johnny ' s long - suffering mom .

2 . tommy , who stays in law school and becomes the da , puts his brother behind bars . but johnny bears no grudge ( ya big palooka ! ) . he gets word along the grapevine of a plot by the evil danny vermin ( joe piscopo ) to knock off the da . as the word is passed from prisoner to prisoner , it gets mangled , as it does in a party game . but johnny translates it back . " i know this grapevine . "

3 . marilu henner , as a nightclub singer who falls in love with johnny . there are few things more embarrassing than watching henner , with her pink fleshiness barely concealed by her gowns , paraded around as a sex object . she looks like a hamster .

metallicar syndrome : played with when johnny and lil are making their escape in a black . . . er , white . . . er , duckies - and - bunnies car that was previously covered in layers of shelf paper specifically so they could invoke the trope .

: parodied and lampshaded when johnny and lil go on a walk . . . and talk . after a very long time , they stop , look around and realize they must have left the city hours ago and are now out in the middle of a field in the middle of nowhere .

while the movie sends up classic gangster movies in general , the basic plot point of johnny and tommy kelly ending up on opposite sides of the law is inspired by manhattan melodrama ( 1934 ) . in that film , william powell and clark gable portrayed orphans who are raised together as brothers . clark gable ' s character " blackie gallagher " grows up to become a gangster , while william powell ' s character jim wade becomes a crusading district attorney ( just like johnny and tommy , respectively ) . also , in both films , the gangster brother roots for the district attorney brother to succeed .

michael keaton couldn ' t have played the role any better . as a kid born in 1980 , his johnny dangerously character helped model my idea of cool . his confident swagger and undeniable charm was a highlight of the film and the supporting cast was amazing as well . with peter boyle , danny devito , marilu henner , and quite possibly , one of the greatest comedic villain roles ever played , by joe piscopo , this movie hits on all cylinders . it has also stood the test of time as i ' ve shared it w / my children , nieces and nephews , and all have ended up quoting the movie quite frequently . you ' re not going to want to watch this movie just once . . . once .

as the pope soon explains , everybody knows ! johnny tries to lead a normal life with girlfriend lil ( henner ) , but with his mom in constant need of medical attention and sickos like fellow gangster danny vermin ( piscapo ) after his brother , he needs the life of crime . a funny , funny movie !

i love this movie ! ! so many people haven ' t even heard of this movie any more , but it is on my must see list ! michael keaton does a great job as johnny kelley / dangerously as he battle roman moron - ey and the rest of the " fargin ' ice holes " and the " bastages . " with his brother tommy who becomes a district attorney , it is a wid ride in a black sedan . no wait , it ' s white . now it ' s , * really ? * blue with baby duckies and bunnies on it . don ' t understand ? you have to watch this movie ! ! ! ( ray walston of ' my favorite martian " fame has a great cameo role in it , too ! )

you shouldn ' t write a review about this movie . my brother wrote a review about this movie once . once ! ! ! ! ! if you are looking for a realistic 1920 ' s gangster flick , watch the untouchables . if you want to have a great time laughing hysterically for 90 minutes , watch johnny dangerously . it has no basis in reality , but so what ? it ' s a comedy . a darn funny one at that ! it ' s michael keaton ' s early years and he nails the part ! the print through amazon prime video is sd , but it looks okay . and since it ' s about the 1920 ' s it works . the whole film is shot with a general blur anyway to give it an old timey look so the lack of hd doesn ' t take much away .

as their role model , however . without the zany inventiveness of the makers of that film , the all - out , anything - for - a - laugh approach collapses under the strain of too few funny jokes . the anachronisms and irrelevancies become tedious instead of funny . somewhere along the line , someone must have thought that having johnny switch from a charleston to break dancing was funny , someone must have thought that the mere mention of the cambridge diet plan was amusing , and someone must have thought that having maureen stapleton , as johnny ' s mother , perform obscene gestures was uproarious . well , they ' re not funny . the ideas aren ' t funny and the execution isn ' t funny .

tempting fate : moronie gets to thinking about expanding his night club because he ' s getting to where he ' s got to turn people away at the door . " knock down that wall , knock down that wall , and knock down that fargin ' wall ! " ( cue johnny and dundee ' s crew dropping a bomb on said nightclub to oblige moronie . )

danny vermin : you shouldn ' t grab me , johnny . my mother grabbed me once . once . danny vermin : you shouldn ' t hang me on a hook . my father hung me on a hook once . once . danny vermin : * while in clear pain * you shouldn ' t kick me in the balls . my sister kicked me in the balls once . . .

2 . inject our times into a period setting . another idea from " airplane ! " so a gangster ' s car has a bumper sticker reading , " i ' d rather be stealing . " street vendors sell " i love johnny " t - shirts . or a fat hit man says , " i ' m starting the cambridge diet on monday . " you get the point .

the movie begins with the promise that it will grow into a great comedy . there ' s a title song out of left field , sung by weird al yankovic , and then we see johnny as a middle - aged pet - store owner , stamping prices on his animals using one of those tape labeling machines they use in grocery stores . a kid tries to shoplift , and that inspires johnny to remember the days when he began his own career in crime . the flashback then develops more or less along standard gangster movie lines , with of course a comic twist on every cliché . it ' s a little dizzying trying to spot all of the cameo roles as they go by ; everybody who wandered onto the 20th century fox lot must have been hired to walk through this movie . but what gradually occurs to us is that we aren ' t laughing as often ; the movie keeps trying , but it runs out of steam .

longtime readers of filmdrunk might remember when quoting this movie was like a religion to us , especially since one of the site’s oldest commenters , pauly dangerously , dedicated his handle to the film . while we may have slipped on those references over the years , it doesn’t mean we don’t still love this movie like no other . so for the film’s 30th anniversary , i’d like to pay tribute to a wonderful comedy script , written by harry colomby , jeff harris , bernie kukoff and norman steinberg , by celebrating the best lines that you can still use in so many situations , mostly because they’re cleverly clean . that roman moronie sure knew how to leave his mark . even if he wasn’t from sweden .

the story is told in flashback , as keaton , a pet store owner , cautions a youth against a life of crime , using his own life as an example . this setup is a little shopworn , and is fairly typical of the entire film : a few good ideas well executed , a few good ideas thrown away , and several not so good ideas . the remainder of the film is a parody of the rise - and - fall - of - the - gangster cliche . johnny , a basically good boy , is forced to enter a life of crime to pay for the treatment of his mother ' s bizarre ailments . meanwhile , his kid brother is studying law to become a crime - fighting da . befriended by a kindly mob boss ( peter boyle ) , johnny malone , under the pseudonym of the title , is becoming a wealthy and important figure in the crime rackets . eventually , inevitably , his incorruptible brother sets out to nail him , little knowing that his sibling is the notorious gangster .

a fun thing about vermin that means absolutely nothing , because it’s simply a really vague coincidence , is that he tells johnny , “i’ll be late for target practice , there’s an opera letting out . ” it makes me laugh because keaton would go on to star in batman , a movie in which his character’s parents were shot outside of an opera . again , this is simply a coincidence , unless… joe piscopo can see the future . haha , just kidding . if that were the case , people would still know who he is .

american sniper attracted harsh criticism from antiwar activists like michael moore and many news personalities , has been compared to nazi recruitment films and generally has met with venom - spewing hatred from anyone who sees it as a glorification of the iraq war . others , including veterans of that war , said that chris kyle , the titular sniper , was no hero but a dangerously unbalanced man whose autobiography of the same name ( on which the movie is based ) is a bunch of lies . overall , critics seemed to like it , but many were also turned off by the premise and the potential lack of truth in it . as for audience reactions ? it broke several box - office records , wound up being the highest - grossing film of 2014 ( in the american market , anyway ) and earned a rare a + on cinemascore .

. i don ' t think that parody is keaton ' s forte . he seems to be more inventive in a realistic setting . also , keaton shows no aptitude for working in a comic ensemble . his previous films gave him almost all the jokes , with everyone else mostly serving as straightmen ( and - women ) . he ' s not nearly as good at receiving a joke as at telling one . joe piscapo has a medium sized part as a psychopathic hood . as with keaton , this part doesn ' t seem to play to his strengths . peter boyle is amiable , danny de vito is good as a corrupt da , and dom deluise puts in a mercifully brief appearance . maureen stapleton does well enough with the persistent vulgarities dealt to her , but she deserves better . marilu henner is ok as johnny ' s girlfriend , and even gets a couple of good lines . a number of fairly well known character actors show up for brief scenes , and are mostly wasted .

johnny depp ' s faced this in the new tens . it started with the pirates of the caribbean sequels , as the original was critically acclaimed , and alice in wonderland 2010 . critics pilloried them , despairing that he was squandering his gifts by sticking with such large ham , spectacle - driven fare instead of the smaller , serious ' films on which he built his artistic reputation . nevertheless , audiences flocked to them ; the second and fourth pirates films and alice grossed over a billion dollars each worldwide . when the lone ranger , patterned after the pirates films , became a box office bomb , critics were effectively given free rein to beat up on depp and his later career choices  never mind that , beyond these wacky ' roles paying him well , he enjoys playing them . given that depp wasn ' t an a - lister until the first pirates caused his popularity to skyrocket , there ' s an undercurrent of it ' s popular , now it sucks to this dissonance . the av club spoke up for his choices in a 2014 opinion piece .

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the great shame is that this mess belongs to director amy heckerling , whose gentle touch made " fast times at ridgemont high " so much more than a teen sex comedy .

i know i shouldn ' t like this film , but dammit , it ' s just so gloriously exuberantly silly that there ' s no use condemning it .

. . . the film doesn ' t just run out of laughs ; it becomes positively leaden by the last half hour .

so funny and entertaining , i really enjoyed it , even if some parts were a little too ridiculous . most of the time this is a very cool movie . it is a spoof of 30s - 40s gangster and film noir movies . if you like those movies , check this out .

this pastiche of old school gangster films has a couple of funny moments , but spread over 90 minutes it soon wears out it ' s welcome .

that ' s the thing ! i can ' t find it ! we ' re going to have to do a thyroid search .

you shouldn ' t hang me on a door . my father hung me on a door , once . once .

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set in the 1930s , an honest , goodhearted man is forced to turn to a life of crime to finance his neurotic mother ' s skyrocketing medical bills .

trippy indie madeline ' s madeline is the movie that lakeith stanfield and boots riley from sorry to bother you want to see the most .

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a morgue attendant is talked into running a brothel at his workplace after a deceased pimp is sent there . however , the pimp ' s killers don ' t look too kindly on this new ' business ' , nor does the morgue ' s owner .

after he ' s laid off , a husband switches roles with his wife . she returns to the workforce , and he becomes a stay - at - home dad , a job he has no clue how to do .

when a japanese car company buys an american plant , the american liaison must mediate the clash of work attitudes between the foreign management and native labor .

four mental patients on a field trip in new york city must save their caring chaperon , who ends up being taken to a hospital in a coma after accidentally witnessing a murder , before the killers can find him and finish the job .

an nypd detective ( michael keaton ) and his struggle for justice , while taking care of his late partner ' s three little girls after he is killed in the line of duty .

a man who never has enough time for the things he wants to do is offered the opportunity to have himself duplicated .

an ice hockey star is accosted by a youth gang who attempt to rob him ; after he chases them off he catches the youngest member and gives him a ride home , where he meets the boy ' s mother . a . . . see full summary »

a hustling drug addict checks himself into rehab to escape trouble with the law and realizes that it ' s exactly what he needs .

a couple work hard to renovate their dream house and become landlords to pay for it . unfortunately , one of their tenants has plans of his own .

two political speechwriters fall in love before they find out they are working for candidates on opposite sides .

stage 2 , 20th century fox studios - 10201 pico blvd . , century city , los angeles , california , usa

the name of richard dmitri ' s character is spelled moronie on his club sign and in newspapers . in the credits its spelled maroni .

: i would like to direct this to the distinguished members of the panel : you lousy cork - soakers . you have violated my farging rights . dis somanumbatching country was founded so that the liberties of common patriotic citizens like me could not be taken away by a bunch of fargin iceholes . . . like yourselves .

after the opening credits , you see " 1935 " on the screen . a car in the near lane of the street drives behind it . then , another car ( in the far lane ) runs into the number sitting on the road , and smashes it to pieces .

this movie is just too funny , a totally non - pc gangster romp . if mel brooks made a picture about the mob in the 30 ' s , it would probably look like this . too many great one - liners to to remember , and while its not for everyone , anyone who doesnt laugh a whole bunch of times doesnt have a pulse . so , put it on and laugh you iceholes ! ! !

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funny , ridiculous , may not be for those born after 1988 . it ' s slapstick and simple . no deep themes - other than love your family - so there ' s nothing to get too excited about , but it does what it intends to do , entertain . cute , loveable flick . it ' s so simple you can watch it again without minding . it ' s like a conversation with your favorite smart , funny , savvy , clever senior at the senior center . it ' s the same predictable story , but it ' s fun to watch him / her wind up to tell the story . you see the spice in his / her eyes even if the body has gone off the rails . this movie is like a visit with your favorite senior .

an 80 ' s time capsule holding some of the better players in comedy working at the time ; it ' s fun to see as nostalgia and quite a bit of the humor holds up if you have seen . . . well , any gangster movie ever made , particularly those being sent up by this movie - length parody . wonder why your 50 - ish uncle says things like " my brother did that to me . . . once ! " or " farghing icehole ! " ? this movie explains him . . .

hysterically funny movie , full of funny quotes you will use for a life time .

if you haven ' t seen this movie , , , you need to . it is a hilarious satire on the gangster era . you will start using some of the quotes from this movie from the day you watch it . the hilarious dialogue between the characters will give you plenty of hysterically funny quotes for future conversations . be prepared to cry with laughter .

a lot of fun , some good lines and a smattering of slapstick ! i remember watching this movie when i was much younger and now , as an adult , it seems to move much more quickly than i recall . . . not sure if that ' s a good or bad thing . i think the pacing is nice and well - suited for a movie of this type .

a little dated and silly , " did you know your name is an adverb ? " . but , make some popcorn and enjoy the hilarity .

prime members enjoy free two - day shipping and exclusive access to music , movies , tv shows , original audio series , and kindle books .

the wrestling episode : the g . l . o . w . episode of netflix’s ‘glow’

with michael keaton’s resurgence in what is undoubtedly one of the year’s 10 best films , birdman , a lot of people have been talking about the role that made him a certified a - lister in the first place – batman . obviously , you could argue that keaton was already on his way to leading man status seven years earlier in night shift , or perhaps he really stated his case for stardom in tim burton’s classic beetlejuice . batman was always unique , though , because it was the role that started a bizarre and inexplicable decline into one forgettable title after another . unless , of course , you enjoyed speechless and jack frost , in which case you probably never noticed anything at all .

thanks to this film’s great lines , a young burnsy was reprimanded many times in school for calling classmates “fargin’ iceholes . ” but i also blame these lines for making me think that the word bastard was actually “bass turd , ” which was hilarious to me because it was poop , man . that mistake led to me being grounded for a weekend . still , the best thing that moronie ever did for us was offer us these creative alternative curse words , not only because they’re technically clean , but also because your stupid friends who have never watched this movie won’t get them . it’s a great way to determine who doesn’t belong in your life .

also the newspaper article about maroni killing people while slaughtering the english language always got me . i need to watch this movie like right now , is it on any of the streaming services ?

no . at least not the legal sites . i can’t answer for the illegal streaming sites because i don’t trust that noise .

watching on those things is like defusing a fargin’ bomb [ viewfromthepine . com ]

it’s in that danny vermin clip , so it counts . i love the whole running gun gag . it could only be better if the gun got bigger every time .

glad i wasn’t the only one who got in trouble for calling someone an “icehole” in school . also , the lack of whitefish available at the concession stand is still a disappointment when i go to the movies .

girl who ain’t wearing a bra was a character we needed to know more about .

man , for years afterwards my dad & i would call each other fargin’ iceholes , or fargin’ corksuckers . love that movie…

and , to head back to a time when hollywood made gems like this movie , and the hottest piece of redhead tail was marilu henner… .

i’d forgotten about moroni . now i want to see all of al swearengen’s lines in deadwood dubbed by moroni .

“…because it was the role that started a bizarre and inexplicable decline into one forgettable title after another . ”

jeebus burns ! the line is “the lower east side . it really sucks . ” it . it ! jumpin’ christ on the cross , it’s not that difficult of a piece of dialogue .

this underappreciated classic needs a good blu - ray release . my sister , dad & i rented this on vhs back in the 80’s . the screenplay is very quotable .

and not to mention the opening song by none other than his weirdness , weird al .

that scene where the brother just wants to get married so he can get some… “that’s it ? you little # @ $ @ . ”

another great thing about the movie : weird al did a song for it . weird to consider that his career is still going strong thirty years later when so many other performers from that era have tanked .

basically the story of a man forced to finally see the injustice around him . riley’s movie is designed to do the same thing to you . …

" the ballad of narayama " is a japanese film of great beauty and elegant artifice , telling a story of startling cruelty . what a space it opens…

roger ebert ' s speech on empathy for the " 11th hour " series on april 9th , 1994 , being republished here in honor of his birthday june 18 .

roger ebert was born on this day in 1942 , and died a little over five years ago . i owe a good part of my success…

a look back at robert zemeckis ' half - animated classic , who framed roger rabbit , on its 30 - year anniversary .

a tribute to the late tab hunter , a gay matinee idol and hollywood trailblazer .

too bad . and especially too bad for joe piscopo , who is such an accomplished mimic that he once literally had me thinking i was watching jerry lewis on " saturday night live . " since masters of disguise are a fixture in gangster movies , why didn ' t they let piscopo play a most - wanted criminal who was desperately trying to alter his appearance , and kept running up against incompetent gangland plastic surgeons ? he plays danny vermin well enough , but the role seems rather limiting .

an interview with terry gilliam , director of " the man who killed don quixote . "

the ebert club is our hand - picked selection of content for ebert fans . you will receive a weekly newsletter full of movie - related tidbits , articles , trailers , even the occasional streamable movie . club members also get access to our members - only section on urltoken

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holds the honor of being one of the first movies to be rated pg - 13 .

: it ' s a period piece , but a comedy , so some jokes were based on when the film was made .

bag of holding : ma kelly ' s purse seems to have anything she needs .

bomb whistle : there is a scene actually involving a bomb dropped from a plane on the casino of his enemy , roman moronie . followed by an explosion .

broken aesop : " crime doesn ' t pay . " cue his fancy suit , chauffeured car , and elegantly dressed wife . " well , it paid a little . "

bull seeing red : the d . a . ' s death : in a commercial .

once . " ( long pause with index finger extended for emphasis ) " once . "

also , dundee ' s cigarette case with the bullet dent ( see pocket protector below ) .

danny vermin : you know , if jocko was in charge , we ' d be making cement loafers for him by now .

: in the prison escape ( unusual in that the warden knew he was there , he just didn ' t know about the gun ) .

cluster f - bomb : averted , due to roman moronie ' s mispronunciations .

covers always lie : the pope is featured on the theatrical release poster , despite only appearing in one scene in the movie .

cut his heart out with a spoon : roman moronie threatening mr . dundee .

deadly prank : young danny vermin , while selling newspapers on a street corner , produces a pair of large scissors from his paper bag to cut the leash from between a seeing - eye dog and a blind man , who is hit be a car off camera , then returns to work .

deliberately monochrome : the beginning of the flashback is b / w documentary footage with narration . when the movie ' s new action begins the film remains in b / w , then transitions into color to indicate the film will be remaining in the past for some time .

dog latin : " post - meridian , ante - meridian , uncle meridian , and all the little meridians . "

every car is a pinto : averted . tommy ' s car has its brakes cut and tumbles down a hill dramatically , but does not explode .

: mary - margaret catherine dineen , the cleaning lady , can cuss a mean blue streak of these whenever someone walks on the freshly mopped floor .

: the entire movie takes place during a flashback , illustrating the story mr . kelly is telling the would - be thief he caught trying to steal a puppy from his pet store .

mr . kelly : aw , don ' t worry about that , it ' ll clear up . it always does this when i talk about the past .

fluffy fashion feathers : lil ' s fancy nightgown has white feathers over the shoulders .

fun with subtitles : as the movie opens , subtitles fade in onto the screen to state the year ; then a car drives over them , as they are actually plaster props standing in the street .

averted here in that he really is trying to swear , but his accent is so thick that the words come out a mess .

hand cannon : danny vermin ' s . 88 magnum . " it shoots through schools . "

" sure , we did illegal things , but we never bothered the general public . and every christmas , jocko returned a little cash back to the community . "

" i should ' ve never picked that name . a name like that , you gotta live up to . "

macguffin : " whoever has my cigarette case bumped - off the commissioner . "

malaproper : roman moronie . he ' d have given the movie a hard r rating for language if the miserable corksoaker could pronounce a word of it correctly , that fargin icehole .

non fatal explosions : happens to both moronie and dundee at the hands of the other .

pie eyed : the animated segment does this , as it ' s done in a 30 ' s art style .

: dundee ' s cigarette case once saved him from an assassination attempt , and it has the bullet dent to prove it . it ends up saving

pretty in mink : lil wears a white fox wrap at the end , as part of spoofing the moral .

robot me : moronie ' s murdering gift sent to dundee ' s office , with postage due .

: the bits with the newspaper vendor , played by ray walston , getting beaned by a stack of newspapers , which cures his blindness , then makes him deaf , then gives him amnesia .

whenever somebody does something bad to danny vermin , he will say something such as " you shouldn ' t have done that . . . my [ relative ] did that to me once , once ! "

schoolyard bully all grown up : danny vermin ( minus the schoolyard ) . although his . 88 magnum shoots through them .

sitting sexy on a piano : lil sheridan , while singing in a nightclub .

: the activities of the police and d . a . ' s office are indicated with front - page newspaper headlines .

the paper simply slides up to view when revealing the outcome of moronie ' s trial .

turn out like his father : ma kelly doesn ' t want either of her kids turning out like their father , " killer " kelly .

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topper returns starring joan blondell , roland young , carole landis , billie burke , dennis o ' keefe , patsy kelly , h . b . warner , eddie " rochester " anderson , george zucco , donald m


teen-age strangler is a 1964 crime drama film , made in huntington , west virginia .

it exploits the popular concern with juvenile delinquency of the american cold war period .

it was re-released in black & white in 1990 , resulting in local screenings , newspaper writeups , and cast reunions .

it was featured on a season 5 episode of mystery science theater 3000 ( mst3k ) .

actor john humphreys , who played the role of " mikey " appeared at the mst3k first conventio-con in september , 1994 .

teen - age strangler

teen - age strangler <EOT> volume 10 : godzilla vs . megalon , swamp diamonds , teen - age strangler , & the giant spider invasion

there are no critic reviews yet for teen - age strangler ( teenage strangler ) ( terror in the night ) . keep checking rotten tomatoes for updates !

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a nerdy teen - age girl goes looking for her missing archaeologist father , and stumbles into a strange subterranean civilization .

" mystery science theater 3000 collection " volume 10 ( " godzilla vs . megalon , " " swamp diamonds , " " teen - age strangler , " " the giant spider invasion " ) ( 1955 - 1975 )

volume xxxiii : daddy - o , earth vs the spider , teen - age crime wave , & agent for h . a . r . m .

a meaningless drag race and a silly confrontation with the killer that sees lt . anderson shooting his gun at teen - age strangler through a broken window despite a prospective victim being in the line of the fire close out the movie .

teen - age strangler is a 1964 horror picture set and filmed in the city of huntington , west virginia . there ' s a mysterious killer targeting young ( ish ) women by strangling them , leaving their bodies in the open and marking their foreheads with lipstick .

: there is no teenaged strangler , nor does the strangler kill teenagers exclusively . likely intentional , not just to cash in on the " teenage x " genre , but as a

heck , it might even be jimmy’s little brother , mike . he’s a four - eyed sissy with girlish voice and a secret past of his own . though if he did turn out to be strangler , they might have to call the film pre - teen strangler .

( features clips from episodes 403 - " city limits , " 514 - " teen - age strangler , " 516 - " alien from l . a . , " 519 - " outlaw , " 521 - " santa claus , " 522 - " teen - age crime wave , " 523 - " village of the giants , " 603 - " the dead talk back , " 605 - " colossus and the headhunters , " and 607 - " bloodlust " )

well , they did it and they did it all in just about an hour ! teen - age strangler himself wasn’t terribly active until the end of things , but i was having too much fun counting all the fake sports pennants hanging up at both the malt shop and in jimmy’s bedroom to really mind all that much .

( features the shorts from episodes 313 - " earth vs . the spider , " 315 - " teenage caveman , " 514 - " teen - age strangler , " 603 - " the dead talk back , " 524 - " 12 to the moon , " 618 - " high school big shot , " and 701 - " night of the blood beast " )

. however , the result of their unfortunate union in ` i was a teenage strangler ' is michi ' s pregnancy .

teenage strangler passes the bechdel test . betty and ann have multiple ( albeit brief ) non - male conversations during the prologue .

( set of four individual discs containing episodes 307 - " daddy - o , " 313 - " earth vs . the spider , " 522 - " teen - age crime wave , " and 815 - " agent for h . a . r . m . " )

a troubled teen with an undeserved criminal past is the suspect when young women start turning up around town dead and marked up with lipstick .

i’m not sure if i’d call this a favorite but it is a good episode , mikey can’t be forgotten once you’ve seen him . as for people asking ‘is it a strangler who’s a teenager or someone who strangles teenagers’–i’d like to point out that spoiling the movie within the first five minutes would kill any suspense . # 49 “answer : c . john ensign , who plays jimmy walton in teen - age strangler . he was 47 when he made this movie . ” ensign played lt . anderson , not jimmy , so a 47 - year old police lieutenant makes sense .

[ teenage strangler should be with creative film enterprises / norman senfeld . giant spider invasion is with vci , who licensed gorgo to sf . ] *

this is the other feature on something weird’s teenage terror drive - in double feature along with the rougher more gang - ish teenage gang debs . teen - age strangler starring mike is the perfect chaser to all the deb action of the first film and will leave you debating with your friends which one of them showcased the worst song : this one’s ode to pin stripes or teenage gang debs ‘ insane attempt to start a kung fu dance fad with “black belt . ” regardless of where you come out on that issue , mike will surely end up being your favorite gang deb .

" misties " rejoice ! hot on the heels of the last volume , rhino has delivered yet another exceptional selection of films and shorts from the sorely missed " satellite of love . " watch in awe as joel , crow , tom servo and the rest of the gang make a mockery of toho ' s green goliath in " godzilla vs . megalon " and lampoon roger corman ' s earliest effort , " swamp diamonds . " stare in amazement as mike , in only his second outing on the series , and the bots skewer the homegrown horror of " teen - age strangler " and then " the giant spider invasion , " starring alan " the skipper " hale jr .

there ' s a graphic scene with michi and freak nasty that makes for uncomfortable viewing . these two also get it on in somewhat less unpleasant fashion in the lost opening of ` vampire strangler ' which can be found in the bonus material on

( set of four individual discs containing episodes 206 - " ring of terror , " 409 - " indestructible man , " 414 - " tormented , " and 1011 - " horrors of spider island , " plus " mystery science theater hour " bumpers for episode 414 - " tormented " and clips from episodes 303 - " pod people , " 514 - " teen - age strangler , " 523 - " village of the giants , " 822 - " overdrawn at the memory bank , " 817 - " the horror of party beach , " 202 - " the side hackers , " 316 - " gamera vs . zigra , " 321 - " santa claus conquers the martians , " 804 - " the deadly mantis , " and 907 - " hobgoblins " )

could not have been included . in this interview , they talk about their early film roles for factory 2000 and chelsea talks about the abortion sequence in ` i was a teenage strangler ' . there is a booklet containing some interesting reading material , though .

back at the malt shop , another horror unfolds before our disbelieving eyes . some girl gets up on the counter , proclaims her and this guy with a guitar the huntington astronauts , and starts singing one of those abominations that these low budget teen pictures traffic in .

( set of four individual discs containing episodes 419 - " the rebel set , " 504 - " secret agent super dragon , " 612 - " the starfighters , " and 811 - " parts : the clonus horror , " plus " mystery science theater hour " bumpers for episode 419 - " the rebel set " and clips from episodes 204 - " catalina caper , " 312 - " gamera vs . guiron , " 521 - " santa claus , " 522 - " teen - age crime wave , " 603 - " the dead talk back , " 806 - " the undead , " 814 - " riding with death , " 913 - " quest of the delta knights , " and 1002 - " girl in gold boots " )

( set of four individual discs containing episodes 212 - " godzilla vs . megalon , " 503 - " swamp diamonds , " 514 - " teen - age strangler , " and 810 - " the giant spider invasion , " plus bloopers from episodes 804 - " the deadly mantis , " 815 - " agent for h . a . r . m . , " 705 - " escape 2000 , " 703 - " deathstalker and the warriors from hell , " " turkey day infomercial , " 806 - " the undead , " 819 - " invasion of the neptune men , " 809 - " i was a teenage werewolf , " 812 - " the incredibly strange creatures who stopped living and became mixed - up zombies , " 817 - " the horror of party beach , " 822 - " overdrawn at the memory bank , " 807 - " terror from the year 5000 , " 820 - " space mutiny , " 810 - " the giant spider invasion , " 814 - " riding with death , " 805 - " the thing that couldn ' t die , " 704 - " the incredible melting man , " 701 / 701t - " night of the blood beast , " and 821 - " time chasers , " not to mention clips from episodes 302 - " gamera , " 314 - " mighty jack , " 317 - " viking women and the sea serpent , " 403 - " city limits , " 516 - " alien from l . a . , " 519 - " outlaw , " 521 - " santa claus , " 522 - " teen - age crime wave , " 605 - " colossus and the headhunters , " 804 - " the deadly mantis , " 807 - " terror from the year 5000 , " 904 - " werewolf , " 905 - " the deadly bees , " 910 - " the final sacrifice , " and 1013 - " diabolik " )

according to imdb . com , lynne “romulan” gorman was born in 1920 , making her 37 at the time the short was made . she had quite a long career in canadian television and film . her boyfriend / fiancee was craig slocum , who was a regular in dark shadows in the late 1960s . he was only 22 when the short was made , and died in 1978 , age 43 .

it ' s the fuzz versus " the fastbacks , " a gang of black leather high school hot - rodders , one of whom could be " the lipstick killer , " a psycho who leaves a stocking wrapped around his victims ' necks . and there ' s nothing like guessing whodunit in a film packed with father knows best nuclear families , moderne living rooms , tailfins , jack warden hats , and period hairdos . pipe - chomping dads bellow , " go to your room ! " at misunderstood kids who just want to race their cars , get in fights at marty ' s malt shoppe , and dance the chickenleg twist . but strangler ' s show - stopper is the swinging , " yipes stripes , " introduced by a teen queen who flashes her petitpants and announces : " fellow citizens and lovers of good music , for those of you who have pledged your allegiance to peter , paul , and mary , who have an undying love for the beatles , paul anka , and the chad mitchell trio , i give you huntington ' s astronauts . they ' re out of this world ! " check it out teenage strangler on a double bill special edition dvd with teenage gang debs from something weird video ! urltoken

on saturday morning , an autograph session scheduled for two hours stretched to more than four . that was followed by a celebrity q & a session featuring beverly garland ( star of three msted movies ) , david worth ( director of warrior of the lost world - - seen in episode 501 ) and john humphries ( who played mikey in teenage strangler - - seen in episode 514 ) . kim catrall ( who starred in city limits - - seen in episode 403 ) was also scheduled to attend but canceled at the last minute . studio tours went on all day saturday .

( features clips from episodes 615 - " kitten with a whip , " 202 - " the side hackers , " 623 - " the amazing transparent man , " 420 - " the human duplicators , " 319 - " war of the colossal beast , " 703 - " deathstalker and the warriors from hell , " 516 - " alien from l . a . , " 408 - " hercules unchained , " 308 - " gamera vs . gaos , " 620 - " danger ! ! death ray , " 522 - " teen - age crime wave , " 322 - " master ninja , " 705 - " escape 2000 , " 518 - " the atomic brain , " 105 - " the corpse vanishes , " 407 - " the killer shrews , " 603 - " the dead talk back , " 423 - " bride of the monster , " 316 - " gamera vs . zigra , " 512 - " mitchell , " 104 - " women of the prehistoric planet , " 417 - " crash of moons , " 508 - " operation double 007 , " 210 - " king dinosaur , " 511 - " gunslinger , " and 624 - " samson vs . the vampire women " )

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q : i ' ve heard and read about the mst3k conventio - con and expofest - a - rama that was held friday , september 16th through sunday , september 18 , 1994 . what happened ? a : it was great fun . about 2 , 000 msties from around the country gathered at the radisson south hotel in bloomington , mn .

the line to get into the merchandise room was endless but its inhabitants cheerful . another room at the hotel featured a " museum " of memorable props and costumes from the series .

episodes were run in three different rooms 24 hours a day ; showings of episode 424 - " manos " : the hands of fate were standing - room - only . the friday night keynote event included the entire current cast and writing staff ( joel did not attend ) discussing the early days of the show , showing slides and answering questions from the audience .

it was the first time fans has a chance to see the now - familiar " poopie " and " scrapbook " tapes , which not only were shown to fans waiting in line during the autograph session , but were also shown on the hotel tv .

on saturday night , the entire convention was bused to a theater in downtown minneapolis for a live performance of the show , featuring the movie " this island earth . " there were standing ovations beyond count and deafening cheers rattled the hall . following the show , conventioneers returned to the hotel for a gala costume ball that extended well into the wee hours and where msties and cast members mingled freely .

q : i was unable to attend the convention . did bbi videotape any of it ? are those videotapes available ? a : bbi did tape some parts of the con , and some of that footage was included in a tape the info club offered called the mst3k scrapbook .

q : how about the live show ? is bbi selling tapes of that ? a : some footage of the live show is included in the scrapbook tape . none of the very funny riffing of the movie was included , but you can get some idea of what you missed by watching mystery science theater 3000 - the movie . many of the riffs are the same as performed that night .

q : i couldn ' t make it to the second convention , which ran from friday , august 30th to monday , september 2nd , 1996 . what happened ? a : dubbed conventio - con ii : electric bugaloo , it was held at the minneapolis convention center . some 2 , 300 msties attended ( short of the 4 , 000 bbi was hoping to attract . worldcon , a major science fiction convention , was held the same weekend and siphoned off some potential attendees ; also , some attendees canceled their reservations when a planned live show was canceled due to the resignation , only a few weeks earlier , of trace beaulieu ) .

the keynote session featured the entire cast and writing staff ( including trace ) and which featured a few cheerful but confusing comments from sci - fi channel head honcho barry schulman and a wonderful farewell video of classic trace moments . also seated at the table was a guy ( introduced as a new writer ) named bill corbett . rumors swirled at the con that bill had been chosen to take over crow , but bbi refused to confirm them at the time .

the celebrity panel featured ( at last ! ) kim catrall ( featured in episode 403 - city limits ) , russell johnson ( the professor from " gilligan ' s island " and co - star of " this island earth " ) and rex reason ( star of " this island earth " ) .

at one session , scenes that had been cut from mst3k - the movie were shown . it may be the only time the dave alvin version of the mst3k theme song , including lyrics , was ever heard in its entirety in a public setting . also shown was a rough cut of a short , " assignment : venezuela , " that was to be included on the then - planned cd - rom .

at another session , mike nelson demolished a number of lucky msties in the video game " doom , " while mary jo pehl and bridget jones took another lucky group shopping at the mall of america .

the marvelous facility was also a star - - a vast improvement over the cramped quarters of the radisson hotel , where the 1994 convention was held .

q : will any footage of the second con be available to purchase ? a : despite the frequent appearance of a bbi camera crew at the con , no footage was ever made available for sale . however , several fans have compilations of fan - shot footage available for trade . post a note in the forums and someone will probably help you .

q : will there be another convention ? a : there will be no other official , bbi - sponsored conventions .

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go behind the scenes of the mission : impossible movies , check out the latest videos and trailers , and see which spy movies topped the box office in our mission : impossible guide .

movies i ' ve seen . . . ( because i have no life )

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a documentary - style drama about the " fouke monster " , a bigfoot - type creature that has been sighted in and around fouke , arkansas since the 1950s .

a sleazy , incompetent detective tries to simultaneously take down heroin dealers and a socialite who murdered a burglar .

young man goes to work for gangsters to impress his nightclub - singer girlfriend .

after her husband is gunned down , rose hood takes his place temporarily as marshal of a small western town .

the strange brothers , winston and myles , are having a party and they ' ve invited all of the local slackers and freaks . but a masked man shows up and starts strangling people to death at every available opportunity .

a man lets a former flame fall to her death rather than let her interfere with his new relationship , but her ghost returns to disrupt his impending nuptials .

a doctor experimenting with transplant techniques keeps his girlfriend ' s head alive when she is decapitated in a car crash , then goes hunting for a new body .

when lieutenant anderson calls headquarters the voice of the dispatch officer is obviously coming from off screen right and not from the radio in the car . anderson also fails to click only holds the receiver and fails to operate its buttons .

if the fans of mst3k , such as me , can ever get together and create an mst3k hall of fame , this movie might be inducted in as a charter member in the film category . john humphries definitely will be inducted as a charter member in the actors category , along with such luminaries as joe don baker , ross hagen , john agar and . . . the guy . . . you know , the one who played torgo . humphries made only one mst3k appearance , but it was a great one , playing a character so annoying that you ' re just begging the other characters to give him a swirley or rub his face in crunchy underwear . fortunately , humphries seems to have a sense of humor and reality , as he didn ' t foolishly follow other mst3k actors into years of horrible films , thinking he ' d eventually get his big break .

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enjoy a night in with these popular movies available to stream now with prime video .

a girl goes against the advice of her parents and her roommate and runs away with her boyfriend . the short asks the question of whether their love has the necessary elements to last long or not .

this short was included on shorts vol 3 , released by rhino entertainment on vhs in janurary 2001 , and on dvd in august 2004 as an limited time exclusive bonus for ordering mst3k : the essentials from a specially created rhino site .

a serial killer has been targeting teenage girls in a small town , strangling his victims with pantyhose and drawing an " x " in lipstick on their foreheads . lieutenant anderson (

) is frustrated by the crimes , and thinks that modern parents have become too lax with their curfews . local hot - rod gang the fast backs find themselves prime suspects , since an eyewitness says she might have seen their insignia , a bulldog , on the killer ' s back . their only alibi is an illegal drag strip race ( they ' re the number one group in the state ) , except for jimmy (

) , and can ' t answer for his whereabouts . tensions with fellow gang member curly cause jimmy to throw his fast backs jacket away , and a wild fistfight leads to a challenge to drag . when another body is found , the clues suddenly point to curly , but a high speed chase and a terrible accident only complicate matters further . so who is the killer ? is it the creepy janitor ? is it the dweebish kid brother ?

john humphries had never acted before doing this film . he has since said that he took his acting cues from jo canterbury , whom he knew had some acting experience off - broadway . so , as her performance became more teary and shrill , so did his . [ 2 ]

according to john humphries , most of the cast and crew of this film were friends or relatives of director ben parker .

the episode revitalized interest in the film so much so that it was given a premiere showing in huntington , west virginia ( where it was filmed ) in 1994 .

prologue : mike tries to phone his grandma for help . he runs into problems with calling long distance from space and answering machines .

segment one ( invention exchange ) : in deep 13 , the frank - n - forcer keeps frank out of dr . f ’s way . on the sol , the waiter - baiter attracts waiters so you don’t have to .

poetry and ponder the question , " what is love ? " crow wants to hear more about " hot love " . the gang ends up pondering the nature of love , mostly in terms of famous celebrities .

segment three : crow of the crow - magnons and tom of the hovermothers want to rumble gangland style , but mike intervenes by " rapping " with the bots .

segment four : crow and tom have a gadget attached to a pair of giant glasses that will make mike act like mikey from the movie . mike wises up eventually , and takes revenge on crow .

as the bots go on thanksgiving break , lonely custodian mike sings " i’m a janitor " . back in deep 13 , dr . f uses sawdust to clean up after frank when he bounces along to the song .

stinger : " and he didn’t steal no bike neither . . . i did ! "

rifftrax would later riff “how much affection ? ” which is plugged in the short’s closing credits .

“the master wants you but he can’t have you . ” ( manos : the hands of fate )

“you can flip any chick in the house . ” ( the brain that wouldn’t die )

" looks like he took dance lessons from arch hall jr . ! " " of eegah fame ! " " shtemlo ! "

( on seeing a sign for " women ' s residence ) " well , except for tom hanks and peter scolari . "

tom hanks and peter scolari starred in the sitcom bosom buddies as a couple of guys who pose as women so they can live in a women - only hotel .

actor emilio estevez did marry singer paula abdul in 1992 ; but their love ended about two years later . both forever your girl and cold hearted crow mentioned are songs recorded by paula abdul .

" and then you became a " pillar of salt " . . . what ! ? "

referring to the story of lot ' s wife from the book of genesis in which lot and his family flee from the city of sodom to avoid its destruction . they were advised by the angels escorting them not to look back but lot ' s wife did anyway . as a result , she " became a pillar of salt . "

in 1966 , charles whitman climbed to the top of a bell tower at the university of texas in austin and began shooting random bystanders on the ground .

a reference to " da butt " , a 1988 song by experience unlimited that was featured in the spike lee movie school daze .

a play on scared straight ! , a 1978 television documentary in which a group of juvenile delinquents were led on a tour of a new jersey prison to demonstrate the ultimate consequences of criminal behavior .

a reference to the watchtower , a magazine published by the jehovah ' s witnesses .

andrew dice clay was a popular comedian during the early 1990s . he was known for his vulgar , chauvinistic on - stage persona and costume , a throwback to the " greaser " look of the 1950s which consisted a black leather jacket and dark , slicked - back hair .

a reference to black panther co - founder huey newton , who was accused of murder in two separate cases in 1967 and 1974 .

jonathan silverman is an american actor best known for his lead roles in the film brighton beach memoirs and the tv series " gimme a break " and " the single guy " . he has dark hair and a prominent nose .

k . d . lang is a canadian singer . she had short dark hair and was openly gay at a time when there was a stronger social stigma about homosexuality .

during the early 1990s , cbs broadcast a series of late - night crime drama series ( including sweating bullets ) under the name crimetime after primetime .

actress vivian vance was best known for playing ethel mertz on i love lucy .

" cornjob " was joel and the ' bots ' nickname for a character in gamera vs guiron .

battle of the network stars was a series of television specials from the 1970s and ' 80s that pitted tv stars from the three major networks against each other in a series of athletic competitions .

during the 1990s , a series of public - service announcements promoting the use of seat belts featured the comical misadventures of a pair of living crash - test dummies , and used the slogan " you could learn a lot from a dummy . "

a quote from the annie hall , in which woody allen ' s character reacts with paranoia about perceived anti - semitism .

lyrics from " the trolly song " featured in the musical meet me in st louis , used here because the soundtrack is similar to the trolley theme from mr . rogers ' neighborhood .

reference to a series of zest soap commercials prominently featuring showerers and the slogan " you ' re not fully clean unless your zest - fully clean ! " .

[ we see liz , an oddly mature woman , brushing her hair before bed . ]

[ in the mirror , we see college girl peg toss her books on her bed . ]

: don ' t be silly , peg ! you always talk as if your mother were an… ogre , or something .

: honestly , peg — i don ' t know how many times , ever since we were in high school together , i ' ve heard you go on the same way about some man or other .

: and , now stay tuned for the clarance thomas - anita hill hearing .

commercially released on dvd by rhino entertainment august 2006 as part of the mystery science theater 3000 collection , volume 10 , a 4 - dvd set with godzilla vs . megalon , swamp diamonds and the giant spider invasion . collection 10 was discontinued shortly after release , due to rumored rights issues with godzilla vs . megalon .

re - released on dvd in february , 2008 in the mystery science theater 3000 collection , volume 10 . 2 , which replaced godzilla vs . megalon with the giant gila monster .

this dvd features an outakes section , about 15 minutes taken from the poopie ! ii tape .

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said killer has also appropriated one of the club jackets from a local drag - racing gang , leading to the protagonist jimmy being framed for the murders at first . eventually , suspicion drifts to other members of the gang , until the real killer is found .

the movie is punctuated with a musical number in the middle named " yipe stripes . "

: the few parents seen in the film are probably among the worst examples you could find . jimmy ' s father seems far more concerned with how jimmy ' s criminal record affects the

than how it would affect the boy ' s future ; meanwhile , betty ' s mom is overly excited to meet a police officer , and her dad is definitely the " hands - off " type .

dad : that ' s your job [ to protect the children ] , isn ' t it ? that ' s what you get paid for ! det . anderson : and what ' s your job as a parent ?

: the female protagonist ' s mother and mikey are some of the most notable examples of what happens when " community theater goes to the silver screen . "

also , jimmy and mikey ' s angry dad , who manages to say " by jupiter " with a straight face .

dark reprise : the murderer ' s theme is a darker and edgier variation of " yipe stripes " .

: a cop tells a woman that her neighbor has been murdered . her "

the fool : non - comedic example in mikey , though he was probably intended to be more a littlest autism patient .

: mikey , especially his " he didn ' t steal no bike either ! " moment . he ' s not even the only one in the cast overdoing it .

ham - to - ham combat : he was only following the example of the gal who played betty , as she was the only one in this film who had any kind of previous acting experience .

betty ( as " yipe stripes " plays on a jukebox ) : gee , that ' s a nice song .

there are no therapists : that ' s okay , though , as apparently there ' s no such thing as grief or psychological trauma , either . tony ' s girlfriend is killed , and he just goes to school the next day no problem . betty is nearly murdered and her attacker is shot dead in front of her , but give her 24 hours and she ' ll be back at the malt shop shakin ' her groove thang to possibly the worst song ever recorded .

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episode 514 is one of my favorite mst3k episodes thanks to the presence of the wimpy , goofy , nerdy mikey . this presents most every second he was on camera during the movie , along with the ' bots turning mike nelson into mikey as well . not stealing bikes has never been more fun !

mst3k premium cuts : mike era . best of the theater ( part 1 ) .

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fastbacks , the mekons and dinosaur jr . , dropping out of the punk and indie rock scenes one show at a time since 2007 . current personnel : dylan lee ritchie and nathan grumdahl .

chaotic , glitched - out electronic music on the latest from porch sam , each song clattering and shrieking its way into existence .

on “obedient vibrations , ” spa moans creates a haunting , shadowy world with eerie synths and chilling , far - off vocals .

the majestic oakland goth / post - punk group gets ready to release its first lp .

the dunedin - by - way - of - oakland sound on this super cool post - punk release doesn’t skimp on hooks .

charlotte mermoud ' s sometimes wacky vocals blend with plenty of wiry bass and a slightly sinister punk vibe .

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visit our archives of the mst3k pages previously hosted by the sci - fi channel ' s scifi . com .

mike nelson , kevin murphy and bill corbett reflect on mst3k ' s final broadcast .

short : ( 1957 ) a college couple rushes into marriage , while another couple is taking their time . movie : ( 1964 ) in a west virginia town , a newly arrived family is at the center of a series of murders .

song : “i’m a janitor ; ” dr . f . cleans up after frank

i’ll admit that the host segments are a bit rough and inconsistent in regards to humor and they just plain fell flat during the beginning of mike’s tenure . personally , i was happy when they stopped the invention exchange because none of those clicked with mike’s time . however , i think you have to make allowances for this simply because , it is a learning process . none of the brains could or would know exactly how mike would fit in and these beginning episodes are just that , trying to find the rhythm and chemistry of mike with the other players on the show .

the writers , i’m sure , always wrote these host segments during the joel era for joel , utilizing his style , persona , delivery so that the scene and dialogue flowed naturally based on what made joel , joel . with mike , there’s no way they could know how mike would deliver this line or handle that segment . he was still finding his character , as were the writers . learning what his timing was , how he would address the situation created in the segment for the most comedic effect . until they found the best fit and personality of the character they couldn’t really write for him . it’s why i think the invention exchanges stayed for a time ; they wanted to see if mike could carry those segments .

you have to keep in mind , mike’s first episodes were a lot like mst’s first season , they were learning and adapting all in front of a national audience . i think we can agree that they did find mike’s niche and the segments got better and the show shined once again in all aspects . you have to give mike a pass , just like frank before him , and mary joe after him . season 2 was frank’s finding of his character . season 7 ended before the dynamic of mother and son could be fine tuned to fit the actors .

oh and i forgot to add , that i love host segment two simply because mike pulls off that attitude and approach and older person who tries to pretend that he understands kids by using their slang and simply coming off as fake and kind of lame . he nailed that perfect .

also , as a single parent of one i understand where dr . forrester is comng from with the frankenforcer . still my favorite invenrtion and my namesake . i finally got to know someone special - me ! nhhnnhnnnhnhnhhhhnnnn . love trace’s uncle albert inspired laugh .

in regards to mike’s whispered yelling . i always assumed that was a result of his chronic headaches . i can’t imagine someone who suffers the intense pain of those regularly is willing to go full voice yelling .

i don’t have legit proof ( my only copy is the official dvd ) , but i’m sure the deep 13 / non - spaghetti ball bumpers first showed up in the last episode , not this one . i mean think about it . it’s mike’s first episode . with a new opening theme and doorway sequence , you would assume they would have replaced all the gizmonic bumpers with deep 13 ones in brain , right ? so why aren’t they in the last episode ? well , did anyone ever notice that the earliest rhino dvds actually have less bumpers than the others ? meaning that those specific ones were all most likely cut from the official release ? surely there’s somebody who still has their old tapes ( when these episodes first aired ) who can confirm that brain has these bumpers ? makes me wish shout factory would put out more re - issues ( and more special editions like manos ) , they haven’t done any since this past march .

this episode’s great . nice short , mostly good movie with mikey being the highlight ( plus two gut busting moments at the very end ) . lovely song too . a real winner , five stars . season 5 has been on a roll since super dragon ( lost world and hercules were great too , swamp diamonds was average with a great short ) and there’s still plenty of great episodes to come . this is my personal favorite era of the show .

like many episodes , this one gets better with repeated viewings . somehow i’d forgotten about mike’s “the master wants you , but he can’t have you” callback , and burst out laughing while watching this tonight .

the invention exchange is one of the best ones , it’s just chaos . forrester getting increasingly aggravated with frank’s baby crying ( “i think someone needs a nap , permanently ! ” ) , crow and servo’s purposefully - annoying waiter baiter ( “excuse me , pardon me , if i could just… excuse me , pardon me , if i could just…” ) that plays over their chatter and mike scurrying around - classic .

though it should be noted that any conversations between mikey and another female character wouldn’t count , since mikey is still technically a male .

at least peg isn’t as anal as sue from are you ready for marriage .

i get that these sort of shorts are expected to have a goofus to illustrate how to do something wrong . but even so peg seems needlessly thick .

when i first saw this episode , i was genuinely unsure of mikey’s gender when he was introduced .

in the first segment , it’s amazing how many of those celebrity romances are no more : almost all of them . i guess that was the point , but i’m still impressed by their accuracy rate .

i would have been more impressed if they had a high accuracy rating for picking romances that would have lasted .

“the lovebirds have arrived . ” and they’re leaving their droppings all over the place .

meanwhile , back in the cold , bitter , loveless life of her parents .

“where were you , then ? ” i vas in austria during the rumble .

gary , i broke up with you while you were over there getting trashed .

some people might not realize that it was basically an offensive maneuver to let him slam me in the wall .

good episode . i’ve got to say though , as someone who’s quite susceptible to having songs stuck in my head for days , yipe stripes isn’t one of them . which is odd , since it’s the only song playing through the entire movie . or maybe the song is just so bad that i unconsciously push it out .

“in this episode they began using something different from the traditional five - second shot of the spinning spaghetti ball when they went to commercial . the bits show closeups of deep 13 . ”

these new bumpers actually debuted with the previous episode * . i’m not sure if most people realize this , but rhino always cut the non - spaghetti ball bumpers out of their vhs releases , which carried over to when those episodes were re - released on dvd ( up through volume 3 or so ) . shout ! has done a good job for the most part with re - releasing these shows and restoring these bumpers ( and other things ) . you can find the full version of ep . 513 ( and 512 ) together on the bonus disc included in the 25th anniversary set .

* and they’re with every episode to the end of season 6 , each unique to their respective show . for future reference to those of you who only own the rhino dvds , these episodes don’t got the bumpers either : 515 ( shout’s dvd is the same , unfortunately , but the version on the vimeo streaming site has them all intact ) , 517 , 518 ( this is getting re - released again in september ) , 606 , 607 , 609 , 619 , 622

this movie was largely made by , and featured , people who had never made a movie before and would never make a movie again . hence , no cast and crew roundup this week .

a fun episode that’s worth some revisits . come to think of it , i should probably rewatch this one soon .

i want to think that anyone who was still potentially on the fence about mike after the brain that wouldn’t die became more of a believer after this one . it doesn’t hurt that mikey is one of the most memorable characters featured in an msted movie . the episode in general was great , but the riffing caught on fire when mikey popped up .

i can see arguments both ways as to whether or not this film ( and its short ) should have been featured for the first mike experiment . on one hand , you have a film that’s not as oppressively grim as the brain that wouldn’t die . there was also the potential for humor with mike trying to leave the theater after the short , only to find that he had an entire film to sit through . on the other hand , there are some great things going on in the host segments , and you would have to lose them in order to establish the mike character and his bond with the ‘bots . i go back and forth on this .

seeing the mst3k scrapbook only makes me wish that i could have been at the conventio - con to hear what john humphries had to say for the celebrity guest panel .

eight years later , and i find that i like this episode more than ever . frank in the frankenforcer and dr . forrester going into rage mode cracks me up , as does tom’s hover skirt getting stuck and disrupting the bots’ turf war , and mike as mikey is priceless .

the movie is…not that bad . i mean , it’s awful , but it’s not all that bad . i like these little regional indie films , and the fact that they managed to produce something with a storyline plus a beginning , middle and end is impressive . i could probably watch this movie unriffed , if i had to . though i’d rather not .

one more thing . there’s a scene toward the end , with betty and the janitor at the locker . he asks her what she’s looking for , and she says , “i’m trying to find something . or not find it . or something . ” i always thought that her delivery was this close to being good – if only she’d taken some acting lessons !

the “it wasn’t me that was murdered” riff cracked me up , and that lady really reminded me of some of the actors i’ve worked with in community theater in the past . this entire movie reeks of community theater , and that made it all the more entertaining to watch . definitely one of my favorite of season 5 .

i really like the way the movie’s title comes up with the guitar playing . it’s pretty effective . just about the only effective thing in this movie , which is full of moments by turns perplexing and utterly charming .

good movie , but for me a great short . for the first one mike did , “is this love ? ” was a real winner . i had the shorts 3 vhs and in high school i was in a critical thinking class and at one point we were discussing ways teenagers were seen in the past versus today . well , i talked my teacher into letting me show the short to the class . after a hurried explanation of why there were three weird characters at the bottom of the screen , i just let the thing play and it went over very well . the “we have a winner ! ” riff got a particularly big laugh . i did cut it off right before m & tb started reeling off their own short titles , fearing that might be a bridge too far for the teacher .

afterward , the short actually led to a good discussion . so , mst3k educates the youth of america ! think about it won’t you , thank you .

as for the rest of the episode , there were no duds but the ‘mikey glasses’ skit i think was the first real gem from mike’s era . it’s one that just sticks in the mind , especially crow’s sniveling at the end . jimmeh ? jimmeh ? …

joel’s very ‘pc’ attitude was really kind of annoying . the ‘booing’ whenever a woman was hit was probably the most annoying .

haydn 70 : exactly ! thank you , uranium – 235 . i am glad someone mentioned this . i love this show passionately–it is my favorite tv show all time–but the one negative for me is the pc stuff…in particular the ‘white male’ bashing ( so very tiresome ) …along with the above - mentioned item .

the big riff for me was , “i beat myself up ! ” love the short , but the way the original writers created the characters grates on me . i hate that the “lesson” is delivered by making one side saintly while the other is completely unreasonable and childish . “no ! i won’t wait a few weeks more and graduate with a degree and a free house from my parents ! i want to get married now ! and no , i won’t even let me folks meet my fiance before we elope ! ”

my favorite part of this episode is when the mother of the heroine is talking on the phone and the poodle in her arms appears as if he’s looking down towards crow , and crow growls at him .

tom : maybe this is the start of the counter culture . ( tom usually gets the worst / best puns . ) mike : now is this a teenager who strangles or a person who strangles teenagers ? crow : it wasn’t me who was murdered , was it ?

i like this episode a lot . mike is starts to get into the flow of things , and the movie wasn’t half - bad either , it had a coherent plot , and while the acting was not very good , these were small town people not professional actors . still , it lends itself great for riffing and i am glad that john humphries ( mikey ) was a good sport and showed up at the first convestio - con . i agree with sampo about yipes stripes , i have had that song in my head since i watched it on the 28th of june , it’s not a half - bad song either , nonsensical yes , but no worse than professionally produced bubblegum music . fave riffs : “now we’re stuck in lake forest ! ” mike “i live the other way , but all right . ” servo “oh . don’t invoke jupiter . ” mike “go on . git ! ” crow