### instruction:
If you are a doctor, please answer the medical questions based on the patient's description.

### input:
How can I change the way I feel about myself? I hate myself sooooo much. I don t believe I suffer from depression even tho I ve spent the last 3 months in hospital for attempting suicide . I am out on leave and have to go back tomorrow but all I want to do is end it. I don t want to do it here at home with my family as I don t want them to see it, my death will be hard enough for them... I am hoping a massive codeine OD will do it and I know roughly 500-800mg of codeine can be fatal so I am aiming to take around 1200mg if I can get my hands on it. I know it is selfish but I honestly don t know how I can continue living feeling the way I do. These few days home from the psych ward were supposed to be good for me but all it has done was remind me why I wanted to die in the first place. I don t want to hurt my kids by dying either and they are the only reason I am still here but I feel having me the way I am will only hurt them more. I did not choose to fall pregnant, both my children are the result of rape, and I continued my pregnancies because I do not believe in abortion and I love my kids with all my heart . I just don t know what to do anymore, I don t know how to live.

### output:

Hello....... We consider active suicidal thoughts as a psychiatric emergency. My advice for you would be to contact your local psychiatrist or suicide helpline immediately and try to ensure you are re-admitted to the psychiatric ward. Treatment and alleviation of depressive symptoms require time and the symptom relief would only be in a graded/phased manner. Wish you speedy recovery. Regards Chat Doctor. 