My mother is 82 years old, has dementia and is progressing quite fast according to the doctor, was diagnosed having lung cancer a few weeks ago, and was given 3 to 6 months to live?  The family members plan to tell her about her having cancer or a tumor.  I have to concerns: 1 - How do we tell her?, 2 - Since she has dementia, can we respect her wishes during moments of being lucid?  What if she changes her wishes after a day or too, what do we follow?  She had dementia about 6 years ago, had pneumonia last 2007, had no x-rays conducted from 2008-2010.  Had a seizure a few weeks ago, was hospitalized, took an xray and saw the tumor about 5 cm.
Hi, Thanks for writing in. You might discuss with other members of the family and assess her general condition. Instead of using the word cancer, you might put it across as a disease which requires long duration care and treatment. Her wishes are to be respected and this might be done by talking about her general condition regularly and trying to know what she feels about herself. Dementia is a difficult situation, and it is possible that she might not be able to understand the seriousness of her situation. In view of this it will be good to ad Chat Doctor.  In the end we want her to live in comfort and with the least pain possible. Please discuss with the pain relief doctor and provide adequate medicine and nutrition. Please do not worry.