Never mind the pandemics
Never mind the volcanic ash
Never mind the AWB
Never mind the manchester united supporters
Never mind global warming
Never mind people with Blackberries
Never mind the starving people in Africa
Never mind the people that moer seals with clubs
Never mind fur coats
Never mind Oprah Winfrey
Never mind the fact that our ‘dear’ Alexander McQueen offed himself
Never mind the fact that Hurt Locker won an Oscar
Never mind that Liverpool won no trophies this season
Never mind that Rafael Benitez is still the manager
Never mind that Rafa Benitez still plays Lucas every game
Never mind that Liverpool won’t play Champions League next season
Never mind, Nirvana
The problem that is threatening our very existence was brought to the world’s attention with the release of the 2010 Time 100 Most Influential People in the World list. And up there, with the likes of Barack Obama and Steve Jobs, is none other than fag-ass vampire pansy, Robert Pattinson. This douchebag:
The man/boy/girl/vampire that has single-handedly pissed all over the good names of Count Dracula (the original) and Count Dracula (Leslie Nielson in Dracula: Dead and Loving It).
And you know what the worst part is? Chicks dig him. And now he’s one of the most influential people in the world. Apparently.
Say a prayer to The Lord above, because there’s nothing on this earth that can help us.