user6870: I'm a strict vegetarian and non-alcoholic. But all my friends are non-vegetarians and alcohol consumers. So, when I host a party at my place, it becomes obligatory of me to host them with alcohol and non-vegetarian food (bought from a restaurant). Although, I have done this in the past, I have started to think if it is really right of me to do so, since I may be aiding them in breaking their Sila. But, coming from a culture where guests are to be treated as Gods, I also wonder if it will be rude of me to call them home and not serve to their liking. 
So, should I, at the cost of hosting a boring(for them) party, appearing rude and risk losing their company, help them keep their Sila intact (if at all it does) at least for an evening? Or should I not bother about trying to combine preaching and hosting and keep my ethics limited to me?
P.S. I'm convinced that consumption of meat and alcohol is breaking of Sila in the true spirit of the Buddha's teachings, irrespective of how certain sects or traditions of Buddhism may justify alcohol and meat consumption.

user6888: On the subject of food, I do not see any issue with not serving meat. I would not expect any of my vegetarian friends to prepare meat for me.
With alcohol, the same applies, but because it's more "expected" in a party (depending on how it's advertised to the invitees), it would make sense to mention this and allow people to bring their own. "Alcohol will not be served but feel free to bring your own." This reduces the extent to which you could be seen as an "enabler" of their "sin".
"Bring your own" can also apply to food in some cases - when hosting a barbecue for example, you could provide vegetarian options while allowing guests to bring (and if necessary, cook) their own meat. You may need a separate grill in that case though.

user715: A good friend is one who helps his friend become a better person, even at the cost of popularity.
I think reasonable people definitely do understand dietary choices when it's explained with humility and reason. 
As your friends, they ought to be capable of respecting your wise choices in life.

In a bodhisattva sense one must engage with society, and host guests properly, but it's very tricky, and in many ways far tougher than wandering alone as a hermit.
I think you're being trapped into confirming to social norms as well as your beliefs. You need to decide which between the two is the tie breaker when they come in conflict.

If your friends don't understand your beliefs, and if you are of the Theravada bent of mind, then the answer is very clear - go alone, avoiding false companions. If you are more worldly, then there's other very sociable passages to quote from elsewhere in the Buddhist canon.

There are verses in the Dhammapada (verse 61 onwards) about choosing one's companions wisely. This is also reflected in some of the earliest suttas like the Rhinoceros (sword horn) sutra which precisely warns of this trap of being waylaid by misdirected compassion.
I'm quoting here select portions of the sutra linked above.

For a sociable person
  there are allurements;
  on the heels of allurement, this pain.
  Seeing allurement's drawback,
  wander alone
  like a rhinoceros.
One whose mind
  is enmeshed in sympathy
  for friends and companions,
  neglects the true goal.
  Seeing this danger in intimacy,
  wander alone
  like a rhinoceros.
There is sporting and love
  in the midst of companions,
  and abundant fondness for offspring.
  Feeling disgust
  at the prospect of parting
  from those who would be dear,
  wander alone
  like a rhinoceros.
We praise companionship
  -- yes!
  Those on a par, or better,
  should be chosen as friends.
  If they are not to be found,
  living faultlessly,
  wander alone
  like a rhinoceros.
People follow and associate
  for a motive.
  Friends without a motive these days
  are rare.
  They are shrewd for their own ends, and impure.
  Wander alone
  like a rhinoceros.


user43: Party is made fun by people sharing their love and life experiences with each other, not by meat and alcohol.
More importantly, in this case, I think you should uphold your spirit and not bend to your friends' opinions. Do not be afraid to show your friends who you really are, your real value system. Living authentic life is better in long-term, than pretending to be someone else out of fear of losing the little you have.
No need to boast or preach. Just do what you truly believe in, they will see and ask, and then you can answer.

user5715: "So, when I host a party at my place, it becomes obligatory of me to host them with alcohol and non-vegetarian food (bought from a restaurant). "
I don't see how it is obligatory. You could serve delicious vegetarian food and non-alcoholic drinks. If you take your Buddhist precepts you are not supposed break them yourself or encourage others to break them. I think your instincts on this are correct. 
Would it be so boring? Have you spoken to your friends about this? Why not raise the subject and see what they say? 

6870: <p>I'm a strict vegetarian and non-alcoholic. But all my friends are non-vegetarians and alcohol consumers. So, when I host a party at my place, it becomes obligatory of me to host them with alcohol and non-vegetarian food (bought from a restaurant). Although, I have done this in the past, I have started to think if it is really right of me to do so, since I may be aiding them in breaking their Sila. But, coming from a culture where guests are to be treated as Gods, I also wonder if it will be rude of me to call them home and not serve to their liking. </p>

<p>So, should I, at the cost of hosting a boring(for them) party, appearing rude and risk losing their company, help them keep their Sila intact (if at all it does) at least for an evening? Or should I not bother about trying to combine preaching and hosting and keep my ethics limited to me?</p>

<p>P.S. I'm convinced that consumption of meat and alcohol is breaking of Sila in the true spirit of the Buddha's teachings, irrespective of how certain sects or traditions of Buddhism may justify alcohol and meat consumption.</p>
 6888: <p>On the subject of food, I do not see any issue with not serving meat. I would not expect any of my vegetarian friends to prepare meat for me.</p>

<p>With alcohol, the same applies, but because it's more "expected" in a party (depending on how it's advertised to the invitees), it would make sense to mention this and allow people to bring their own. "Alcohol will not be served but feel free to bring your own." This reduces the extent to which you could be seen as an "enabler" of their "sin".</p>

<p>"Bring your own" can also apply to food in some cases - when hosting a barbecue for example, you could provide vegetarian options while allowing guests to bring (and if necessary, cook) their own meat. You may need a separate grill in that case though.</p>
 715: <p>A good friend is one who helps his friend become a better person, even at the cost of popularity.</p>

<p>I think reasonable people definitely do understand dietary choices when it's explained with humility and reason. </p>

<p>As your friends, they ought to be capable of respecting your wise choices in life.</p>

<hr>

<p>In a bodhisattva sense one must engage with society, and host guests properly, but it's very tricky, and in many ways far tougher than wandering alone as a hermit.</p>

<p>I think you're being trapped into confirming to social norms as well as your beliefs. You need to decide which between the two is the tie breaker when they come in conflict.</p>

<hr>

<p>If your friends don't understand your beliefs, and if you are of the Theravada bent of mind, then the answer is very clear - go alone, avoiding false companions. If you are more worldly, then there's other very sociable passages to quote from elsewhere in the Buddhist canon.</p>

<hr>

<p>There are verses in the <em>Dhammapada</em> (verse 61 onwards) about choosing one's companions wisely. This is also reflected in some of the earliest suttas like the <em><a href="http://www.hermitary.com/solitude/rhinoceros.html" rel="nofollow">Rhinoceros (sword horn) sutra</a></em> which precisely warns of this trap of being waylaid by misdirected compassion.</p>

<p>I'm quoting here select portions of the sutra linked above.</p>

<blockquote>
  <p>For a sociable person
  there are allurements;
  on the heels of allurement, this pain.
  Seeing allurement's drawback,
  wander alone
  like a rhinoceros.</p>
  
  <p>One whose mind
  is enmeshed in sympathy
  for friends and companions,
  neglects the true goal.
  Seeing this danger in intimacy,
  wander alone
  like a rhinoceros.</p>
  
  <p>There is sporting and love
  in the midst of companions,
  and abundant fondness for offspring.
  Feeling disgust
  at the prospect of parting
  from those who would be dear,
  wander alone
  like a rhinoceros.</p>
  
  <p>We praise companionship
  -- yes!
  Those on a par, or better,
  should be chosen as friends.
  If they are not to be found,
  living faultlessly,
  wander alone
  like a rhinoceros.</p>
  
  <p>People follow and associate
  for a motive.
  Friends without a motive these days
  are rare.
  They are shrewd for their own ends, and impure.
  Wander alone
  like a rhinoceros.</p>
</blockquote>
 43: <p>Party is made fun by people sharing their love and life experiences with each other, not by meat and alcohol.</p>

<p>More importantly, in this case, I think you should uphold your spirit and not bend to your friends' opinions. Do not be afraid to show your friends who you really are, your real value system. Living authentic life is better in long-term, than pretending to be someone else out of fear of losing the little you have.</p>

<p>No need to boast or preach. Just do what you truly believe in, they will see and ask, and then you can answer.</p>
 5715: <p>"So, when I host a party at my place, it becomes obligatory of me to host them with alcohol and non-vegetarian food (bought from a restaurant). "</p>

<p>I don't see how it is <em>obligatory</em>. You could serve delicious vegetarian food and non-alcoholic drinks. If you take your Buddhist precepts you are not supposed break them yourself or encourage others to break them. I think your instincts on this are correct. </p>

<p>Would it be so boring? Have you spoken to your friends about this? Why not raise the subject and see what they say? </p>
