user13640: Im in the process of trying to 'wake up' I made a grievous error with a colleague recently. I sent a nasty email about something she was involved in. I was trying to manipulate her-even perhaps bully her with my views
I was drinking a lot at the time.
I have since realized the error of trying to control anybody or not to take the views of others to heart. I have realized my error after reading various guides to Buddhism.
I have offered an apology but now a considerable amount of my colleagues hate me.I see it in their eyes and way they communicate with me. 
How does a novice Buddhist deal with this? 

user13348: Answer given by dhamma 4life is very nice arisen  out of real and genuine concern/compassion about the questioner.It is very appreciable and important that you have developed an interest in buddhism ,which is a very true and gives guarantee of attaining liberation  if followed ardently and honestly giving stress of 10% to the codes of conduct and 90% to the practice. First of all whatever you have done to your colleague ,was it not out of deep interest of wellbeing of her? if yes then dont bother at all ,howsoever others may have whatever look in their eyes. Afterall we are surrounded by mundane people controlled by their ego,jealousy,hatred. And as we have these things in us it will not be proper to think that why they behave with you like this. As long as you are true in your intention ,forget about everything happening to you or whatever you have done.Whenever we commit mistake ,our so called built up image of a goody person gets little bit shattered . That image building is part of the running of ego.(here i mean running of a machine) . So our mind convince us that say sorry ,by doing so the shattered image again rebuilds itself by assuming that i have said sorry. okay i have done wrong but i am so good that i have said sorry also for it. this assumption makes us again ready for commiting mistakes. So saying sorry is of no use .  Now as pointed out by  dhamma 4 life , you are very much engrossed in thoughts about the things happened . I do not know what you are trying to practice ,but if it is vipassana then observe the sensations rising on arising of thoughts and be equinimous ,dont react to them with aversion,be neutral. It is the sensations produced and the reaction of us towards them is the root cause of whatever we do ,feel happy or sad . So make use of the situation. In buddhism dukkha is the base from where to move further.  Our father/mother  sometimes speak harsh words/beat us but never feels guilty about it bcs he is very sure of his good intention behind it. Your action is immaterial, your intention behind it is important .As buddha quotes "intention is kamma". Go in some 10 day retreat to practice vipassana available and convenient to you. Afterall we are not that which we see in the eye of people. people's eyes see very superficially. Pl bear in mind that the interest developed in buddhism /your starting of the practice let it be in crude way , is of very very importance and of top priority, So don not waste time in this senseless,foolish things of engrossing in those thoughts again and again. Wish you practice/study buddhism  ardently and genuinely to go further and further on the path. heartily best luck.

user-1: In addition to all the good answers here's some solution from my experience.

One of the problems you have dealing with this situation is Guilt that you are still feeling about sending that email in the first place. This guilt can be dealt with skillfully. Now that you have already accepted the problem that's the first step. As you have already said that you were drinking at that time, sit for meditation and contemplate on the following.
You didn't have had a real choice to make at that time as you were
not mindful and aware of your action in that moment of anger, your
brain/mind reacted to something she did. In that moment limbic
system of your brain completely took over the neo-cortex and you
acted out of emotions of anger and hatred. In part, it was also your
biology so have forgiveness for your self for what got done through
you.
You are saying, I see it in their eyes and way they communicate with me, you have to trust me on this, it is largely made up by your mind. At the most you can say, your colleagues don't have a good opinion of you. What happens is we are filled with some expectations from people, based on our past mind projects these expectations, and you end up experiencing what you were looking for in the first place. Think about this, if they are filled with hate over an email, every time they see you, it is really their problem, not yours. Contemplate on these words of Buddha. 


“By doing this (holding on to anger) you are like a man who wants to hit another and picks up a burning ember or excrement in his hand and so first burns himself or makes himself stink.”
  Visuddhimagga IX, 23.

So, in effect don't think about the hateful eyes of your friends.

As pointed out by other answers, practice metta meditation. The best place to start is Ajahn Brahm's youtube videos of guided metta meditations. No matter what has happened to give metta and loving kindness to your friends. Dukkha is an inevitable consequence of human life. Maybe your friends need metta too. 

Also, contemplate the following verse from Dhammapada



One should not consider the faults of others, nor their doing or not doing good or bad deeds. One should consider only whether one has done or not done good or bad deeds. --- Dhammapada Verse 50.

The point is you cultivate the pure mind by following the 10 paramitas. Don't focus on others, like everything else, others will change. 
Hope this helps. Metta to you.

user111: You are not going to become any better if you are just looking for a way to escape from the consequences of your mistakes. You need to put forth an honest effort to become better. Here are some steps that will help you in doing that.

If you haven't already done it, send another mail to all those who received the original mail, correcting the previous mail and apologizing for it. Mention that you have realized your mistakes after getting guidance from Buddhism. 
Go to the Buddha and take the Triple Refuge and the five precepts. When you take the 4th precept, make sure to promise to refrain from all 4 forms of wrong speech: lying, hateful/vulgar speech, divisive speech, idle speech.
Practice on-the-go-Metta meditation towards your friends and colleagues regardless of the way they look at you. Meaning, you have to chant in your mind "may you(other) be happy, may you be well, may you be successful, may you be free from suffering" as you interact with them.
Whenever the thoughts of regret come to the mind, simply discard them as impermanent, suffering and non-self. Later as the mind becomes more matured and capable, try to observe these thoughts to see the 3 characteristics.


13640: <p>Im in the process of trying to 'wake up' I made a grievous error with a colleague recently. I sent a nasty email about something she was involved in. I was trying to manipulate her-even perhaps bully her with my views</p>

<p>I was drinking a lot at the time.
I have since realized the error of trying to control anybody or not to take the views of others to heart. I have realized my error after reading various guides to Buddhism.
I have offered an apology but now a considerable amount of my colleagues hate me.I see it in their eyes and way they communicate with me. 
How does a novice Buddhist deal with this? </p>
 13348: <p>Answer given by dhamma 4life is very nice arisen  out of real and genuine concern/compassion about the questioner.It is very appreciable and important that you have developed an interest in buddhism ,which is a very true and gives guarantee of attaining liberation  if followed ardently and honestly giving stress of 10% to the codes of conduct and 90% to the practice. First of all whatever you have done to your colleague ,was it not out of deep interest of wellbeing of her? if yes then dont bother at all ,howsoever others may have whatever look in their eyes. Afterall we are surrounded by mundane people controlled by their ego,jealousy,hatred. And as we have these things in us it will not be proper to think that why they behave with you like this. As long as you are true in your intention ,forget about everything happening to you or whatever you have done.Whenever we commit mistake ,our so called built up image of a goody person gets little bit shattered . That image building is part of the running of ego.(here i mean running of a machine) . So our mind convince us that say sorry ,by doing so the shattered image again rebuilds itself by assuming that i have said sorry. okay i have done wrong but i am so good that i have said sorry also for it. this assumption makes us again ready for commiting mistakes. So saying sorry is of no use .  Now as pointed out by  dhamma 4 life , you are very much engrossed in thoughts about the things happened . I do not know what you are trying to practice ,but if it is vipassana then observe the sensations rising on arising of thoughts and be equinimous ,dont react to them with aversion,be neutral. It is the sensations produced and the reaction of us towards them is the root cause of whatever we do ,feel happy or sad . So make use of the situation. In buddhism dukkha is the base from where to move further.  Our father/mother  sometimes speak harsh words/beat us but never feels guilty about it bcs he is very sure of his good intention behind it. Your action is immaterial, your intention behind it is important .As buddha quotes "intention is kamma". Go in some 10 day retreat to practice vipassana available and convenient to you. Afterall we are not that which we see in the eye of people. people's eyes see very superficially. Pl bear in mind that the interest developed in buddhism /your starting of the practice let it be in crude way , is of very very importance and of top priority, So don not waste time in this senseless,foolish things of engrossing in those thoughts again and again. Wish you practice/study buddhism  ardently and genuinely to go further and further on the path. heartily best luck.</p>
 -1: <p>In addition to all the good answers here's some solution from my experience.</p>

<ol>
<li><p>One of the problems you have dealing with this situation is Guilt that you are still feeling about sending that email in the first place. This guilt can be dealt with skillfully. Now that you have already accepted the problem that's the first step. As you have already said that you were drinking at that time, sit for meditation and contemplate on the following.</p>

<p>You didn't have had a real choice to make at that time as you were
not mindful and aware of your action in that moment of anger, your
brain/mind reacted to something she did. In that moment limbic
system of your brain completely took over the neo-cortex and you
acted out of emotions of anger and hatred. In part, it was also your
biology so have forgiveness for your self for what got done through
you.</p></li>
<li><p>You are saying, <em>I see it in their eyes and way they communicate with me</em>, you have to trust me on this, it is largely made up by your mind. At the most you can say, your colleagues don't have a good opinion of you. What happens is we are filled with some expectations from people, based on our past mind projects these expectations, and you end up experiencing what you were looking for in the first place. Think about this, if they are filled with hate over an email, every time they see you, it is really their problem, not yours. Contemplate on these words of Buddha. </p></li>
</ol>

<blockquote>
  <p>“By doing this (<em>holding on to anger</em>) you are like a man who wants to hit another and picks up a burning ember or excrement in his hand and so first burns himself or makes himself stink.”
  Visuddhimagga IX, 23.</p>
</blockquote>

<p>So, in effect don't think about the hateful eyes of your friends.</p>

<ol start="3">
<li><p>As pointed out by other answers, practice <em>metta</em> meditation. The best place to start is Ajahn Brahm's youtube videos of guided <em>metta</em> meditations. No matter what has happened to give <em>metta</em> and loving kindness to your friends. <em>Dukkha</em> is an inevitable consequence of human life. Maybe your friends need <em>metta</em> too. </p>

<ol start="4">
<li>Also, contemplate the following verse from <em>Dhammapada</em></li>
</ol></li>
</ol>

<blockquote>
  <p>One should not consider the faults of others, nor their doing or not doing good or bad deeds. One should consider only whether one has done or not done good or bad deeds. --- Dhammapada Verse 50.</p>
</blockquote>

<p>The point is you cultivate the pure mind by following the 10 paramitas. Don't focus on others, like everything else, others will change. </p>

<p>Hope this helps. <em>Metta</em> to you.</p>
 111: <p>You are not going to become any better if you are just looking for a way to escape from the consequences of your mistakes. You need to put forth an honest effort to become better. Here are some steps that will help you in doing that.</p>

<ol>
<li>If you haven't already done it, send another mail to all those who received the original mail, correcting the previous mail and apologizing for it. Mention that you have realized your mistakes after getting guidance from Buddhism. </li>
<li>Go to the Buddha and take the <a href="https://refuge.sirimangalo.org/" rel="nofollow noreferrer">Triple Refuge and the five precepts</a>. When you take the 4th precept, make sure to promise to refrain from all 4 forms of wrong speech: <strong>lying, hateful/vulgar speech, divisive speech, idle speech</strong>.</li>
<li>Practice on-the-go-Metta meditation towards your friends and colleagues regardless of the way they look at you. Meaning, you have to chant in your mind "may you(other) be happy, may you be well, may you be successful, may you be free from suffering" as you interact with them.</li>
<li>Whenever the thoughts of regret come to the mind, simply discard them as impermanent, suffering and non-self. Later as the mind becomes more matured and capable, try to observe these thoughts to see the 3 characteristics.</li>
</ol>
