user5242: Few years ago, family put matrimonial ad in newspaper in India. We thought we selected nice person, but turns out he was abusive, unfaithful, and only wanted green card. Worse, he made me have miscarriage.
Now, I wish to move on with my life. One minute my heart says I want family to put matrimonial ad in newspaper in India again, next moment my heart says I want to keep busy in USA, maybe I will find person I am meant to marry here.
I asked God to give me sign, a "Yes" or "No" as to whether we should put another matrimonial ad (of course we learned from last time, will be million times more careful), but literally, one hour I think "Yes", next hour I think "No".
What does Buddhism teachings say in this case. For past few months I have been torturing myself mentally just thinking of this.

user7751: Love is foundation of a relationship. Instead of marriage focus on love. If you have positive vibration you will attract persons of positive vibrations to you. Also you will be able to feel the person instead of judging the person. Looks like your understanding of very natural phenomenon (man/woman) is shallow and taking recourse to religion to understand simple basic concepts is not advisable at this stage. 
Love is energy and if you are full of love i.e. energy it will attract others to you. Try to be healthy and cheerful and forget about marriage. Marriage is second step when love changes its dimension. When two people want to dissolve themselves into each other and decide to live together its called marriage. I know of a couple where if one is hurt the other feels it (one in a million). Marriage which you know of is a lawful arrangement by the society and therefore utterly flawed.     

user111: Buddhism has principles called “Sama-jivi Dhamma” for couple to ensure their compatibility and provide a firm foundation for a long married life. Sama-jivi dhamma concerns four qualities:

Sama-saddha:  having compatible faith; they uphold the same  religion, revere the same objects of worship, concepts, beliefs or principles, and share the same lines of interest- they are equally firm in all these or can reach agreement on them.
Sama-sila: having compatible morality; they have conduct, morality, ethics, manners and upbringing which are harmonious or compatibility.
Sama-caga: having compatible generosity; they are in accord, not conflict, with each other in their generosity, hospitality, munificence, sacrifice, and readiness to help others.
Sama-panna: having compatible intelligence; they are sensible and can understand each other; they can at least reason with each other.

You don't have to limit yourself to one method of finding a partner. You can try all the accepted ways. 
But, whether it is a love marriage or an arranged marriage, it is best to date for about an year and find out if you are compatible, before tying the knot.
As far as dealing with the capricious nature of your own mind, Vipassana meditation is the way to go.

user738: It's important to understand that any amount of external situations happen which may not go your way. When it goes your way, you're happy and God doesn't come into the picture. And when it doesn't, sometimes God doesn't help. ;)
So the idea is to accept the external situation as it is, because it was never in your control. And keep living with the moments in life. If you let an external situation faze you out too much, you're lost. 
Understand this fact. What we are in control of is ourselves, our internal reactions and responses to anything. 
So whatever situation life brings you, just take it in the right stride and keep smiling and going. Simply accept it. There is no need to fear anything. Fear is ego's response to a threat on its existence.
Don't struggle with yourself. If you put an ad in the matrimonial page, don't expect things to go right. But don't expect things to go wrong either. Just let it be. Because the future is only imaginary if we think about it. So let the future be whatever it is. Have faith in yourself that you can deal with anything. 
The way to deal with it is to introspect if you are ready, put the ad. And hope it goes right by analyzing the person clearly. Go with the flow. Because life is to be lived whatever the situation may be, sportively.
(PS: And please, don't expect a certain God, to help out whenever you are in trouble. That is simply wishful thinking.)

5242: <p>Few years ago, family put matrimonial ad in newspaper in India. We thought we selected nice person, but turns out he was abusive, unfaithful, and only wanted green card. Worse, he made me have miscarriage.</p>

<p>Now, I wish to move on with my life. One minute my heart says I want family to put matrimonial ad in newspaper in India again, next moment my heart says I want to keep busy in USA, maybe I will find person I am meant to marry here.</p>

<p>I asked God to give me sign, a "Yes" or "No" as to whether we should put another matrimonial ad (of course we learned from last time, will be million times more careful), but literally, one hour I think "Yes", next hour I think "No".</p>

<p>What does Buddhism teachings say in this case. For past few months I have been torturing myself mentally just thinking of this.</p>
 7751: <p>Love is foundation of a relationship. Instead of marriage focus on love. If you have positive vibration you will attract persons of positive vibrations to you. Also you will be able to feel the person instead of judging the person. Looks like your understanding of very natural phenomenon (man/woman) is shallow and taking recourse to religion to understand simple basic concepts is not advisable at this stage. 
Love is energy and if you are full of love i.e. energy it will attract others to you. Try to be healthy and cheerful and forget about marriage. Marriage is second step when love changes its dimension. When two people want to dissolve themselves into each other and decide to live together its called marriage. I know of a couple where if one is hurt the other feels it (one in a million). Marriage which you know of is a lawful arrangement by the society and therefore utterly flawed.     </p>
 111: <p>Buddhism has principles called “<strong>Sama-jivi Dhamma</strong>” for couple to ensure their compatibility and provide a firm foundation for a long married life. Sama-jivi dhamma concerns four qualities:</p>

<ol>
<li><p><strong>Sama-saddha</strong>:  having compatible faith; they uphold the same  religion, revere the same objects of worship, concepts, beliefs or principles, and share the same lines of interest- they are equally firm in all these or can reach agreement on them.</p></li>
<li><p><strong>Sama-sila</strong>: having compatible morality; they have conduct, morality, ethics, manners and upbringing which are harmonious or compatibility.</p></li>
<li><p><strong>Sama-caga</strong>: having compatible generosity; they are in accord, not conflict, with each other in their generosity, hospitality, munificence, sacrifice, and readiness to help others.</p></li>
<li><p><strong>Sama-panna</strong>: having compatible intelligence; they are sensible and can understand each other; they can at least reason with each other.</p></li>
</ol>

<p>You don't have to limit yourself to one method of finding a partner. You can try all the accepted ways. 
But, whether it is a love marriage or an arranged marriage, it is best to date for about an year and find out if you are compatible, before tying the knot.</p>

<p>As far as dealing with the capricious nature of your own mind, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fpzurcpIDeY" rel="noreferrer">Vipassana meditation</a> is the way to go.</p>
 738: <p>It's important to understand that any amount of external situations happen which may not go your way. When it goes your way, you're happy and God doesn't come into the picture. And when it doesn't, sometimes God doesn't help. ;)</p>

<p>So the idea is to accept the external situation as it is, because it was never in your control. And keep living with the moments in life. If you let an external situation faze you out too much, you're lost. </p>

<p>Understand this fact. What we are in control of is ourselves, our internal reactions and responses to anything. </p>

<p>So whatever situation life brings you, just take it in the right stride and keep smiling and going. Simply accept it. There is no need to fear anything. Fear is ego's response to a threat on its existence.</p>

<p>Don't struggle with yourself. If you put an ad in the matrimonial page, don't expect things to go right. But don't expect things to go wrong either. Just let it be. Because the future is only imaginary if we think about it. So let the future be whatever it is. Have faith in yourself that you can deal with anything. </p>

<p>The way to deal with it is to introspect if you are ready, put the ad. And hope it goes right by analyzing the person clearly. Go with the flow. Because life is to be lived whatever the situation may be, sportively.</p>

<p>(PS: And please, don't expect a certain God, to help out whenever you are in trouble. That is simply wishful thinking.)</p>
