user2495: How we can strengthen dis-identification in normal life? How can we free our attention from self-reference?

user295: Identification is due to notion or perception. How do dis-identify is by cultivating opposite perception as in Girimananda Sutta. Also perception results in conditioned metal reaction which creates sensations followed by formations when you react to the sensation. Much of these sensations are generally around the head based on the volitional formation. These can be dissolved slowly by brining your attention to them maintaining equanimity and knowing their 3 characteristics.

user533: We should try to see everything as "impermanent, unsatisfactory and uncontrollable"
When you see and contemplate that you can not control anything, not even your body, then you will understand that nothing is really yours.
I mentioned the body because the Buddha used to give this example, as you cannot control it, you cannot prevent it from getting old, sick or die... then what is really yours to control? 
Another good technique, very common in Mahayana Buddhism, is to see "emptiness". When you see that everything comes from something else you will understand that everything lacks a self, a true identity, our bodies are just pieces of this planet, combined in a certain way based on the DNA of our parents... See dependent origination
In Theravada Buddhism, they would probably recommend you to focus on anatta (non self), as the Buddha used to say: "This is not me, this is not mine, this is not my self". There is no soul, a permanent soul would contradict impermanence, there is only a everchanging mindstream, so where is the identification? Hope it gives you something to think about!

user2265: It's not good to mix up actual daily living with meditation principles and practice. First one should master meditation and then one will naturally do "dis-identification" spontaneously and quite perfectly during day-to-day life. If one forces it to happen before one has that foundation, it will not be a real dis-identification and will damage both one's meditation life (2nd training) and one's life (1st training).
It's like training for the Olympics. Meditation is the training, the Olympics is day-to-day life. A participant, once already in the contest, should not think about "training"... one should just enjoy the road and live rightfully as best as one can, free of technique. When training on the other hand, the Olympian practices those techniques with all his might, strengthening and teaching his muscles.
One should work similarly on exercising the various facets of meditation, specifically the Wings of Awakening.
Thus, make special time to practice Vipassana and dis-identification will happen gradually. Don't force indifference in daily life or try to meditate. Just live mindfully and right. People are not meditation objects.
Make that special time throughout the day, even 2 minutes of moderately-powered Vipassana can completely change the way you would respond to anger-causing, delusion-causing, love-causing situations...

2495: <p>How we can strengthen dis-identification in normal life? How can we free our attention from self-reference?</p>
 295: <p>Identification is due to <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sa%E1%B9%83j%C3%B1%C4%81" rel="nofollow noreferrer">notion</a> or perception. How do dis-identify is by cultivating opposite perception as in <a href="http://www.themindingcentre.org/dharmafarer/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/19.16-Girimananda-S-a10.60-piya.pdf" rel="nofollow noreferrer">Girimananda Sutta</a>. Also perception results in conditioned metal reaction which creates <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vedan%C4%81" rel="nofollow noreferrer">sensations</a> followed by <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sa%E1%B9%85kh%C4%81ra" rel="nofollow noreferrer">formations</a> when you react to the sensation. Much of these sensations are generally around the head based on the volitional formation. These can be dissolved slowly by brining your attention to them maintaining equanimity and knowing their 3 characteristics.</p>
 533: <p>We should try to see everything as "impermanent, unsatisfactory and uncontrollable"</p>

<p>When you see and contemplate that you can not control anything, not even your body, then you will understand that nothing is really yours.</p>

<p>I mentioned the body because the Buddha used to give this example, as you cannot control it, you cannot prevent it from getting old, sick or die... then what is really yours to control? </p>

<p>Another good technique, very common in Mahayana Buddhism, is to see "emptiness". When you see that everything comes from something else you will understand that everything lacks a self, a true identity, our bodies are just pieces of this planet, combined in a certain way based on the DNA of our parents... See dependent origination</p>

<p>In Theravada Buddhism, they would probably recommend you to focus on anatta (non self), as the Buddha used to say: "This is not me, this is not mine, this is not my self". There is no soul, a permanent soul would contradict impermanence, there is only a everchanging mindstream, so where is the identification? Hope it gives you something to think about!</p>
 2265: <p>It's not good to mix up actual daily living with meditation principles and practice. First one should master meditation and then one will naturally do "dis-identification" spontaneously and quite perfectly during day-to-day life. If one forces it to happen before one has that foundation, it will not be a real dis-identification and will damage both one's meditation life (2nd training) and one's life (1st training).</p>

<p>It's like training for the Olympics. Meditation is the training, the Olympics is day-to-day life. A participant, once already in the contest, should not think about "training"... one should just enjoy the road and live rightfully as best as one can, free of technique. When training on the other hand, the Olympian practices those techniques with all his might, strengthening and teaching his muscles.
One should work similarly on exercising the various facets of meditation, specifically the Wings of Awakening.</p>

<p>Thus, make special time to practice Vipassana and dis-identification will happen gradually. Don't force indifference in daily life or try to meditate. Just live mindfully and right. People are not meditation objects.</p>

<p>Make that special time throughout the day, even 2 minutes of moderately-powered Vipassana can completely change the way you would respond to anger-causing, delusion-causing, love-causing situations...</p>
