user4748: How does a Buddhist know when to tolerate a situation, and when to exit a situation? For example, a lay Buddhist in an abusive relationship: is it correct to accept the abuse, or avoid it?
Disclaimer: I am not referring to my own relationship. I just chose this scenario as a hypothetical example.

user-1: What is dangerous that is harmful, stressful, undesired.
What one is averse to that is perceived as stressful, undesired and harmful.
Difference is that Aversion is to be uprooted as Defilement, Danger is to be avoided.
Seem to me that it is a matter of evaluating the object of referrence, in this case the relationship. 
Does OP rightfully perceive danger? 
It is perceived as abusive by OP, if OP s perception is well developed as in he is a wise & well-discerning person then definitely he should run away once he starts perceiving the danger in such association. It would be like seeing a punch coming and not moving away, you dont have to but all things considered you probably better off moving.
One who has a relationship has worry about relationship. When there is no relationship, there can be no abuse of that sort.

user43: Very interesting question. I'd say, as long as you can keep learning from it, it's OK to stay in an abusive relationship, may even be useful. But only if you know what you're getting out of it, what is it that it helps you practice.
May be patience, may be metta, may be egolessness etc. 
But once you have exhausted learning possibilities, I would say it's time to move on. In my mind this pertains to all types of difficult situations: abusive relationships, difficult job conditions etc.
If the pressure is so strong that it flips you into a victim mode all the times, and you completely forget that you are there to practice (as you would in a master mode) - that's probably a good indicator that the issue is more on the danger side than on the aversion side, I think it's a question of strength. There's no reason in subjecting oneself to what one just cannot handle, that stops being practice and becomes self-harm at that point.
So to summarize: 1) can you keep learning from this? 2) Are you not overwhelmed to the point of not being in control of your learning anymore? 

4748: <p>How does a Buddhist know when to tolerate a situation, and when to exit a situation? For example, a lay Buddhist in an abusive relationship: is it correct to accept the abuse, or avoid it?</p>

<p><strong>Disclaimer: I am not referring to my own relationship. I just chose this scenario as a hypothetical example.</strong></p>
 -1: <p>What is dangerous that is harmful, stressful, undesired.
What one is averse to that is perceived as stressful, undesired and harmful.</p>

<p>Difference is that Aversion is to be uprooted as Defilement, Danger is to be avoided.</p>

<p>Seem to me that it is a matter of evaluating the object of referrence, in this case the relationship. </p>

<p>Does OP rightfully perceive danger? </p>

<p>It is perceived as abusive by OP, if OP s perception is well developed as in he is a wise &amp; well-discerning person then definitely he should run away once he starts perceiving the danger in such association. It would be like seeing a punch coming and not moving away, you dont have to but all things considered you probably better off moving.</p>

<p>One who has a relationship has worry about relationship. When there is no relationship, there can be no abuse of that sort.</p>
 43: <p>Very interesting question. I'd say, as long as you can keep learning from it, it's OK to stay in an abusive relationship, may even be useful. But only if you know what you're getting out of it, what is it that it helps you practice.</p>

<p>May be patience, may be metta, may be egolessness etc. </p>

<p>But once you have exhausted learning possibilities, I would say it's time to move on. In my mind this pertains to all types of difficult situations: abusive relationships, difficult job conditions etc.</p>

<p>If the pressure is so strong that it flips you into a victim mode all the times, and you completely forget that you are there to practice (as you would in a master mode) - that's probably a good indicator that the issue is more on the danger side than on the aversion side, I think it's a question of strength. There's no reason in subjecting oneself to what one just cannot handle, that stops being practice and becomes self-harm at that point.</p>

<p>So to summarize: 1) can you keep learning from this? 2) Are you not overwhelmed to the point of not being in control of your learning anymore? </p>
