user-1: I have been continuing my meditation practice, and I feel there would be a great benefit from switching to a metta practice instead of breath. Yet, with metta, a strange phenomenon occurs.
I am usually very good during metta bhavana and  generate the feelings. However, it is incredibly hard for me to begin the metta session, and I seem to avoid this type of meditation before and afterwards. Only during the practice do I feel great emotion and compassion.
How can this be explained?
Thank you.

user-1: I would think of this as generalized aversion.
Aversion is a hindrance, one if the five hindrances. Whenever one notices a hindrance one should direct the mind accordingly.
If thinking about doing a certain contemplation seems tedious then one should resolve that aversion before doing anything else. One does this by recognizing the circumstances, properly reflecting and secluding oneself from the triggers mentally & physically. When a stilling of unwholesome thoughts has occured one can just enjoy that and not worry about whether one used metta or whatnot to attain it.
There is nothing repulsive about metta contemplation but contemplation or meditation in general can become repetitive & a chore. It is especially boring if one is putting in a lot of work but get's neither special rapture nor lights & visions.
How one deals with aversion is a matter of trial & investigation. One should learn many skillful means such as redirecting the mind to the body and the themes of appriciation & etc. One might think that metta counters aversion but if one is averse to doing it, as one has been doing it, then it isn't at that time suitable and one can choose to investigate the aversion or choose another gladdening theme such as ie compassion, appreciation, equanimity, virtue, The Buddha and whatnot. One can also do breath work to shut out distracting thoughts and thus create distance & attain seclusion in order to perceive the grand distinctions such as lights & visions.
Forcing oneself to meditate with an aversive mind is not a good idea but the stilling of aversion is a meditation and a good idea.
You can also try mixing things up to avoid monotony in contemplation, try different ways of rousing the mind and develop wholesome themes by giving of attention as you see fit.

user-1: 
How can this be explained?

That's aversion towards the meditation practice. Just note it as "disliking" and be mindful about it until it passes away. Be very vigilant in observing this aversion when it arises as it can sabotage ones practice if left by itself.
Eventually, as one gains more and more clarity of mind, this aversion will subside due to the mind understanding the benefits and freedom that comes from consistent meditation practice.

-1: <p>I have been continuing my meditation practice, and I feel there would be a great benefit from switching to a metta practice instead of breath. Yet, with metta, a strange phenomenon occurs.</p>
<p>I am usually very good <em>during</em> metta bhavana and  generate the feelings. However, it is incredibly hard for me to begin the metta session, and I seem to avoid this type of meditation before and afterwards. Only during the practice do I feel great emotion and compassion.</p>
<p>How can this be explained?
Thank you.</p>
 -1: <p>I would think of this as generalized aversion.</p>
<p>Aversion is a hindrance, one if the five hindrances. Whenever one notices a hindrance one should direct the mind accordingly.</p>
<p>If thinking about doing a certain contemplation seems tedious then one should resolve that aversion before doing anything else. One does this by recognizing the circumstances, properly reflecting and secluding oneself from the triggers mentally &amp; physically. When a stilling of unwholesome thoughts has occured one can just enjoy that and not worry about whether one used metta or whatnot to attain it.</p>
<p>There is nothing repulsive about metta contemplation but contemplation or meditation in general can become repetitive &amp; a chore. It is especially boring if one is putting in a lot of work but get's neither special rapture nor lights &amp; visions.</p>
<p>How one deals with aversion is a matter of trial &amp; investigation. One should learn many skillful means such as redirecting the mind to the body and the themes of appriciation &amp; etc. One might think that metta counters aversion but if one is averse to doing it, as one has been doing it, then it isn't at that time suitable and one can choose to investigate the aversion or choose another gladdening theme such as ie compassion, appreciation, equanimity, virtue, The Buddha and whatnot. One can also do breath work to shut out distracting thoughts and thus create distance &amp; attain seclusion in order to perceive the grand distinctions such as lights &amp; visions.</p>
<p>Forcing oneself to meditate with an aversive mind is not a good idea but the stilling of aversion is a meditation and a good idea.</p>
<p>You can also try mixing things up to avoid monotony in contemplation, try different ways of rousing the mind and develop wholesome themes by giving of attention as you see fit.</p>
 -1: <blockquote>
<p>How can this be explained?</p>
</blockquote>
<p>That's aversion towards the meditation practice. Just note it as &quot;disliking&quot; and be mindful about it until it passes away. Be very vigilant in observing this aversion when it arises as it can sabotage ones practice if left by itself.</p>
<p>Eventually, as one gains more and more clarity of mind, this aversion will subside due to the mind understanding the benefits and freedom that comes from consistent meditation practice.</p>
