loose ends tied nowm ive feeling actively passively suicidal years   ive reached friends family hotlines ive dragged house cops hospitalized maybe time would switch actively suicidal passively reckless instead actual attempts two nights ago tried overdose near dozenth time failed next day agony got bed times throw up since moved much except small things like clean dog feed pets know looked go tied loose ends last weeks pushed friends away point hate me make things easier mention friends barely knew needed something im trans man ok insurance covers parts transition since live home rent free spare cash go student loans cover copays know im really fortunate life im college student as take maximum credit hours pass decent job pick hours make well min wage state mentors professors close contacts best schools state parents abusive family generally pretty ok except even working hrwk school full time making as parents think im enough every weeks threaten kick enough housework fast enough siblings treated way kind anything generally get yelled at live home im oldest youngest still feel alone incapable giving receiving love idea near people enough make skin crawl know like around me im ugly feel like imposter even constant overbearing urge kill bad life all next attempt going starving death hanging nobody bothers either easy enough
loose ends tied nowm ive feeling actively passively suicidal years ive reached friends family hotlines ive dragged house cops hospitalized maybe time would switch actively suicidal passively reckless instead actual attempts two nights ago tried overdose near dozenth time failed next day agony got bed times throw up since moved much except small things like clean dog feed pets know looked go tied loose ends last weeks pushed friends away point hate me make things easier mention friends barely knew needed something im trans man ok insurance covers parts transition since live home rent free spare cash go student loans cover copays know im really fortunate lifeim college student as take maximum credit hours pass decent job pick hours make well min wage state mentors professors close contacts best schools state parents abusive family generally pretty ok except even working hrwk school full time making as parents think im enough every weeks threaten kick enough housework fast enough siblings treated way kind anything generally get yelled at live home im oldest youngest still feel alone incapable giving receiving love idea near people enough make skin crawl know like around me im ugly feel like imposter even constant overbearing urge kill bad life all next attempt going starving death hanging nobody bothers either easy enough
cabos sueltos empatados nowm ive sentimiento activo pasivamente suicida años ive llegó amigos línea directa de la familia ive drag house polis hospitalizados tal vez el tiempo cambiaría activamente suicida pasivamente imprudente en lugar de intentos reales hace dos noches intentó sobredosis cerca de docena de veces falló al día siguiente agonía consiguió cama veces vomitar desde se movió mucho excepto pequeñas cosas como perro limpio alimentación mascotas saben mirada ir atado cabos sueltos las últimas semanas amigos alejados punto odio las cosas me hacen más fácil mencionar amigos apenas sabía necesita algo im trans hombre ok seguro cubre partes transición ya que vivo casa alquiler libre dinero libre ir estudiantes préstamos cubrir copays saber im realmente afortunado vidaim estudiante universitario como tomar máximo crédito horas pasar decente trabajo horas recoger bien salario profesores contactos mejores escuelas estatales padres abusivos familia en general bastante bien excepto incluso trabajo hrwk escuela a tiempo completo hacer como los padres piensan que im suficiente amenaza patear bastante trabajo doméstico rápido lo suficientemente hermanos tratados manera amable cualquier cosa generalmente se gritan en vivo casa