many triestoday good day yesterday spent consciousness bed even knowing got there wednesday night th drinks mom drinks afterwards watched show woman jumped death reason made want die too wandered around house looking pills came benzos oxys ritalin plan take hot bath pop pills slit wrist box cutter everything readyi sat bathtub foelr trying talk it took one pill  oxys idk took anything else cant remember drank vodka thats it everything went quiet closed eyes next thing knew wearing someones tshirt shorts im bed know got there im embarrassed im there work again im embarrassed sorry explain myself cant do wanted die thats it thats best explanation come with know why did still sometimes im embarrassed seems thing now im fine im happy reason minute overpowering voice head telling need die need too goes away fast came im happy fine again except times agree it go away gets louder demanding screaming it theres option tried fail know going back voice going back keep ignoring it dont happens now obviously stop drinking thats trigger guess else worst part family cant help feeling way guilt feel side awful guess younger brothers ones found me  clock morning completely incoherent fuck happened big sister deal that see way im scared im scared happening seem quite control used be what next time keep ignoring it every single day ignore it push voice far cant hear anymore eventually claws way back up screaming time go thats goes again finally cave start come plan course fail stop me voice gets loud keep trying first all want part keep telling need die secondly hard time ignoring it need help controlling it who find that fucking know dont know do everytime theres quiet hear voice telling it ive strong long seems like im slipping recently im losing grip strength keep pushing thru episodes thats fucking terrifying
many triestoday good day yesterday spent consciousness bed even knowing got there wednesday night th drinks mom drinks afterwards watched show woman jumped death reason made want die too wandered around house looking pills came benzos oxys ritalin plan take hot bath pop pills slit wrist box cutter everything readyi sat bathtub foelr trying talk it took one pill oxys idk took anything else cant remember drank vodka thats it everything went quiet closed eyes next thing knew wearing someones tshirt shorts im bed know got there im embarrassed im there work again im embarrassed sorry explain myself cant do wanted die thats it thats best explanation come with know why did still sometimes im embarrassed seems thing now im fine im happy reason minute overpowering voice head telling need die need too goes away fast came im happy fine again except times agree it go away gets louder demanding screaming it theres option tried fail know going back voice going back keep ignoring it dont happens now obviously stop drinking thats trigger guess else worst part family cant help feeling way guilt feel side awful guess younger brothers ones found me clock morning completely incoherent fuck happened big sister deal that see way im scared im scared happening seem quite control used be what next time keep ignoring it every single day ignore it push voice far cant hear anymore eventually claws way back up screaming time go thats goes again finally cave start come plan course fail stop me voice gets loud keep trying first all want part keep telling need die secondly hard time ignoring it need help controlling it who find that fucking know dont know do everytime theres quiet hear voice telling it ive strong long seems like im slipping recently im losing grip strength keep pushing thru episodes thats fucking terrifying
Muchos intentos hoy buen día ayer pasó cama de conciencia incluso sabiendo llegar allí miércoles noche th bebidas mamá bebidas después de ver show mujer salto muerte razón hizo querer morir también vagabundeo por casa píldoras que buscan vino benzos oxys plan ritalin tomar baño caliente píldoras pop cortado cortador de la caja de la muñeca todo listo sat bañera foelr tratar de hablar tomó una píldora oxys idk tomó cualquier otra cosa no recuerdo beber vodka que todo se fue tranquilo ojos cerrados siguiente cosa sabía usar alguien camiseta pantalones cortos im cama saber llegó allí im avergonzado im trabajo otra vez im avergonzado explicar no puedo querer morir eso es que la mejor explicación viene con saber por qué a veces im avergonzado parece cosa ahora im bien