want murderedi dont know else word it want someone kill me anyone else similar experience dont know suicidal self harm problem wanted killed years used want kill lot could never family murdered wouldnt know much wanted it im even depressed anymore im happy want die days often im mostly ok things looking up still cant shake desire killed think lot ive described ideal death doped drugs thrown fight ring get ass beat conversation friends idea killed alluring dont know cant shake it escape extent guilt feel towards redflag im one pulling trigger dont feel bad dying whole process sounds amazing intense fear rush pain getting shot gut realizing oh shit im going die falling ground slow drawn painful death slowly fade consciousness dread dying intensity feeling tempting die want really feel once know really unhealthy fantasy murdered would probably actually suck still want real bad ive tried times could never finish job felt sooo good tried to feeling rope tighten around neck oxygen slowly cut brain warmth slowly encroaching numbness amazing feeling body shut piece piece ecstasy moment something ill never forget pain melted away wonderful state absolute peace last minute guilt set took away bliss quickly undid rope sat guilt awhile havent tried since part still wants to want again want feel fade intensity pain before never gonna happen dont know id find someone willing kill me want real bad days maybe happened id run away even instincts kick in hope wouldnt least wouldnt get away im safe now refuse kill myself dont want kind control die want life entirely someone something elses hand want one made die want feel good it feel bad fantasy really fucked up wish didnt cant shake it bad was think maybe  times week still idk needed vent anybody insight maybe similar experience
want murderedi dont know else word it want someone kill me anyone else similar experience dont know suicidal self harm problem wanted killed years used want kill lot could never family murdered wouldnt know much wanted it im even depressed anymore im happy want die days often im mostly ok things looking up still cant shake desire killed think lot ive described ideal death doped drugs thrown fight ring get ass beat conversation friends idea killed alluring dont know cant shake it escape extent guilt feel towards redflagim one pulling trigger dont feel bad dying whole process sounds amazing intense fear rush pain getting shot gut realizing oh shit im going die falling ground slow drawn painful death slowly fade consciousness dread dying intensity feeling tempting die want really feel once know really unhealthy fantasy murdered would probably actually suck still want real bad ive tried times could never finish job felt sooo good tried to feeling rope tighten around neck oxygen slowly cut brain warmth slowly encroaching numbness amazing feeling body shut piece piece ecstasy moment something ill never forget pain melted away wonderful state absolute peace last minute guilt set took away bliss quickly undid rope sat guilt awhile havent tried since part still wants to want again want feel fade intensity pain before never gonna happen dont know id find someone willing kill me want real bad days maybe happened id run away even instincts kick in hope wouldnt least wouldnt get away im safe now refuse kill myself dont want kind control die want life entirely someone something elses hand want one made die want feel good it feel bad fantasy really fucked up wish didnt cant shake it bad was think maybe times week still idk needed vent anybody insight maybe similar experience
Quiero asesinado no sé más palabra que quiere que alguien me mate a alguien experiencia similar no sé suicida auto daño problema buscado años usados querer matar lote podría nunca familia asesinado no sabría mucho quería im incluso deprimido más im feliz querer morir días a menudo im mayormente ok cosas buscando todavía no puedo sacudir deseo matado pensar mucho ive descrito ideal muerte droga dopada tiro anillo de lucha conseguir culo golpe conversación amigos idea matado atrayente no sé no puedo sacudirlo escape extensión culpa sentir hacia rojoflagim uno tirar gatillo no se siente mal morir proceso entero sonidos increíble intenso miedo prisa dolor conseguir tiro tripa realización oh mierda im morir caída lento dolor muerte lentamente desvanecer conciencia miedo morir intensidad sentimiento tentador morir querer realmente sentir una vez saber realmente malsano fantasía asesinado probablemente realmente chupar todavía querer verdadero mal