need advice stay alive getting fulltime job etchey guys probably really long rambling post need get everything hopes someone kind enough listen offer sound advice  year old living aunt tuscaloosa alabama small college town car though payments tags paid aunt along phone im  pounds carry well still hard physical labor since tend faint easily low blood sugar know still since graduated high school  ive held couple parttime jobs really hard do managed anymore longest held one year ive fucked around community college since then losing aid family bail out actually course graduate winter since really want waste money since nice enough help out lost hope back  got depersonalization disorder least think thats is ive suffered extreme depression anxiety life never thought redflag ever idealist artist loved life core even though abused emotionally general really tough upbringing anyway day got believe first panic attack feel like brain handle dissociated beside myself ego death could experience emotions outside them world became extremely real illusion shattered people became sentient meatbags me will since life felt like one long moment wish human ever lived survived somehow likely largely due lexapro started coping told myself if live rest life like this handle it got better started question could feel anything anymore slowly life became manageable would feel moments joy without questioning them like cursed disease however june year dissociated further another attack time things get better week dealing it decided losing horrifying mental battle ive ever had decided truly could feel love anymore closest person life sister kill myself thing is know love her love become permanently numb thought dealt before like everything world gets worse always become worse since day become phantom hiding pain planning redflag methods recently decided best thing do would honor life before work art stay alive her even hard feel anything want put horror losing me college somewhere else talk nearly every day ive told struggles always encouraging trying give hope told im suicidal aunt family maybe cure one day would gladly take cure death heres id like guidance broke living college fund aunt gave me run soon ive got high school diploma hard even get bed morning im still fighting always im afraid aunt thinks im working really go library day draw get reddit im neurotic psychotic levels im complete shutin introvert real skills health insurance either think could handle fulltime job one away people requires high school diploma get one those get apartment volunteer eventually work art free time think stay alive otherwise kill january thanks listening know really stream consciousness maybe hard follow desperate man answer questions might have anyone help get right path honor forever literally eternal gratitude
need advice stay alive getting fulltime job etchey guys probably really long rambling post need get everything hopes someone kind enough listen offer sound advice year old living aunt tuscaloosa alabama small college town car though payments tags paid aunt along phoneim pounds carry well still hard physical labor since tend faint easily low blood sugar know still since graduated high school ive held couple parttime jobs really hard do managed anymore longest held one year ive fucked around community college since then losing aid family bail out actually course graduate winter since really want waste money since nice enough help out lost hope back got depersonalization disorder least think thats is ive suffered extreme depression anxiety life never thought redflag ever idealist artist loved life core even though abused emotionally general really tough upbringing anyway day got believe first panic attack feel like brain handle dissociated beside myself ego death could experience emotions outside them world became extremely real illusion shattered people became sentient meatbags me will since life felt like one long moment wish human ever lived survived somehow likely largely due lexapro started coping told myself if live rest life like this handle it got better started question could feel anything anymore slowly life became manageable would feel moments joy without questioning them like cursed disease however june year dissociated further another attack time things get better week dealing it decided losing horrifying mental battle ive ever had decided truly could feel love anymore closest person life sister kill myself thing is know love her love become permanently numb thought dealt before like everything world gets worse always become worse since day become phantom hiding pain planning redflag methods recently decided best thing do would honor life before work art stay alive her even hard feel anything want put horror losing me college somewhere else talk nearly every day ive told struggles always encouraging trying give hope told im suicidal aunt family maybe cure one day would gladly take cure death heresid like guidance broke living college fund aunt gave me run soon ive got high school diploma hard even get bed morningim still fighting always im afraid aunt thinks im working really go library day draw get reddit im neurotic psychotic levels im complete shutin introvert real skills health insurance either think could handle fulltime job one away people requires high school diploma get one those get apartment volunteer eventually work art free time think stay alive otherwise kill january thanks listening know really stream consciousness maybe hard follow desperate man answer questions might have anyone help get right path honor forever literally eternal gratitude
necesita consejo mantenerse vivo conseguir trabajo a tiempo completo etchey chicos probablemente realmente largo divagar post necesidad conseguir todo alguien amable bastante escuchar ofrecer buen consejo año de vida tía tuscaloosa alabama pequeño coche de la ciudad universitaria, aunque pagos etiquetas pagados tía a lo largo de libras fonémicas llevan bien todavía duro trabajo físico ya que tienden débil fácilmente baja azúcar en la sangre saber todavía desde graduado de la escuela secundaria Ive celebrada pareja de trabajo a tiempo parcial duro manejaron más tiempo de un año de vida follada alrededor de la universidad comunitaria desde entonces perder ayuda familia rescate en realidad curso graduado invierno ya que realmente quieren perder dinero ya que buena ayuda perdió la esperanza de vuelta tuvo trastorno despersonalización menos pensar que es ive sufrió depresión extrema ansiedad vida nunca pensé Redflag artista idealista amaba la vida núcleo incluso aunque abusado emocionalmente general crianza difícil