strugglingso planned finally killing myself everything ready day placed planned made mistake talking good friend lived several states away made sure tell exactly was thought safe talk to want stop me help mei wanted say goodbye someone actually cared understood he going similar difficulties unfortunately could go plan able reach contact command ended spending  days involuntarily admitted lockdown psych unit another  weeks therapy complete step locked like animal know friend cared time wish interfered going hell last  years exhausted fighting this feel like heart ripped out trying get help themes receiving either  want medicate i  different meds none really helped caused bad side effects  pain misery fault miserable chose miserable currently process losing everything brings meaning life already hate myself could sure use sort encouragement reason keep fighting right want fight more
strugglingso planned finally killing myself everything ready day placed planned made mistake talking good friend lived several states away made sure tell exactly was thought safe talk to want stop me help mei wanted say goodbye someone actually cared understood he going similar difficulties unfortunately could go plan able reach contact command ended spending days involuntarily admitted lockdown psych unit another weeks therapy complete step locked like animal know friend cared time wish interfered going hell last years exhausted fighting this feel like heart ripped out trying get help themes receiving either want medicate i different meds none really helped caused bad side effects pain misery fault miserable chose miserable currently process losing everything brings meaning life already hate myself could sure use sort encouragement reason keep fighting right want fight more
lucha tan planeado finalmente matarme todo listo día colocado planeado error hecho hablando buen amigo vivió varios estados de distancia se aseguró de decir exactamente se pensó seguro hablar para querer detenerme ayuda mei quería decir adiós alguien realmente cuidado entendió que iba dificultades similares por desgracia podría ir plan capaz llegar contacto comando terminó de pasar días involuntariamente admitido bloqueo unidad de psiquiatría otra semana terapia completo paso bloqueado como animal sabe amigo cuidado tiempo deseo interferido ir al infierno los últimos años agotado luchar contra esta sensación como corazón arrancado tratando de conseguir ayuda temas recibir bien quieren medicate i diferentes medicamentos ninguno realmente ayudó a causar malos efectos secundarios dolor miseria miseria miserable elegido miserable proceso actual pérdida de todo significa vida ya odio podría usar tipo de estímulo razón seguir luchando derecho quiero luchar más