dont know get strength keep goinghey kind hard explain ive never considered killing myself lately though life pushing think more become really hard continue little background me im yo gay guy married living us came international student im tourist visa graduated college stem degree ever since graduated life going downhill accelerated pace first many terrible occurrences happened college failed communicate proper way remain us legally opt those international students us know im talking about paying expensive government fees waiting  months july october  receive employment authorization got letter denied thing apparently never happens every student applies gets it completely bummed didnt give journey stay us i wont safe back home country decided apply asylum husband then bf offered stay together weather storm  months jumping lawyer lawyer getting necessary paperwork putting together asylum story by feb  law firm settled paid pockets at least  consultations appointments told case didnt good chance approved risked put deportation procedures dropped asylum went back home quick week to prevent overstaying student visa returned back bfs apartment florida went school decided together arrangement would benefit us would stay home live simple life worked   job id clean cook make sure everything around apartment tidy this continues till day btw  months later august  and counseling amazing supporting parents sat boyfriend explained cant continue living like this living life wasted potential becoming increasingly difficult doing then weve together  half years living together full year half didnt issues living other fact enjoyed it telling couldnt keep this managed gather courage ask hand marriage to properly life together accepted admitted wanted ask well since saw trouble topic i didnt want reason got married moon next couple months november small wedding  closest friends afterwards ran courthouse legally wedded state florida coming days quickly began get papers together file marriage greencard got paperwork tax documents needed past  years managed get translations documents like birth certificate documents government requires finally  months  later had ask money friends family able file marriage greencard feb  coronavirus happened entire world shut down including uscis office meant application along many couples shelved till god knows when savings gone credit card debt im finding difficult pay top that cant work legally get papers thought going year but far one disaster another sadly end  year quarantine still nowhere found everything same back housemaid life cook clean put smile pretend everything fine try strong till may husbands phone would start ringing weird times night one day got curious looked phone stomach dropped saw hes texting ex month now that theyve unprotected sex his ex hiv tried think carefully could continue here confront without ruining chances remaining us finally reached conclusion cant risk it pushed back mind till get documents best course action getting hiv last concerns compared permanently going back home job prospects freedom loving whoever want love recap ive dealing depression dont know long continue maid stem degree collecting dust shelves dont know long keep sex husband pretend everything great dont know long keep waiting everything reopen middle pandemic cant see friends cant work life zero direction purpose cant take anymore im strong minded person time shitstorm weighting me day day little little strength fading away thought ending crosses mind daily pray me get times cant really see light end tunnel
dont know get strength keep goinghey kind hard explain ive never considered killing myself lately though life pushing think more become really hard continue little background meim yo gay guy married living us came international studentim tourist visa graduated college stem degree ever since graduated life going downhill accelerated pace first many terrible occurrences happened college failed communicate proper way remain us legally opt those international students us know im talking about paying expensive government fees waiting months july october receive employment authorization got letter denied thing apparently never happens every student applies gets it completely bummed didnt give journey stay us i wont safe back home country decided apply asylum husband then bf offered stay together weather storm months jumping lawyer lawyer getting necessary paperwork putting together asylum story by feb law firm settled paid pockets at least consultations appointments told case didnt good chance approved risked put deportation procedures dropped asylum went back home quick week to prevent overstaying student visa returned back bfs apartment florida went school decided together arrangement would benefit us would stay home live simple life worked job id clean cook make sure everything around apartment tidy this continues till day btw months later august and counseling amazing supporting parents sat boyfriend explained cant continue living like this living life wasted potential becoming increasingly difficult doing then weve together half years living together full year half didnt issues living other fact enjoyed it telling couldnt keep this managed gather courage ask hand marriage to properly life together accepted admitted wanted ask well since saw trouble topic i didnt want reason got married moon next couple months november small wedding closest friends afterwards ran courthouse legally wedded state florida coming days quickly began get papers together file marriage greencard got paperwork tax documents needed past years managed get translations documents like birth certificate documents government requires finally months later had ask money friends family able file marriage greencard feb coronavirus happened entire world shut down including uscis office meant application along many couples shelved till god knows when savings gone credit card debt im finding difficult pay top that cant work legally get papers thought going year but far one disaster another sadly end year quarantine still nowhere found everything same back housemaid life cook clean put smile pretend everything fine try strong till may husbands phone would start ringing weird times night one day got curious looked phone stomach dropped saw hes texting ex month now that theyve unprotected sex his ex hiv tried think carefully could continue here confront without ruining chances remaining us finally reached conclusion cant risk it pushed back mind till get documents best course action getting hiv last concerns compared permanently going back home job prospects freedom loving whoever want love recap ive dealing depression dont know long continue maid stem degree collecting dust shelves dont know long keep sex husband pretend everything great dont know long keep waiting everything reopen middle pandemic cant see friends cant work life zero direction purpose cant take anymore im strong minded person time shitstorm weighting me day day little little strength fading away thought ending crosses mind daily pray me get times cant really see light end tunnel
No sé conseguir fuerza seguir goinghey tipo duro explicar ive nunca se consideró matarme últimamente aunque la vida empujando pensar más se vuelven realmente duro continuar poco fondo meim yo gay chico casado viviendo nos vino internacional estudiante turismo visa graduada universidad título raíz desde graduada vida va cuesta abajo acelerado ritmo primero muchos terribles sucesos sucedido universidad fallida comunicación adecuada manera siguen siendo nosotros legalmente opt esos estudiantes internacionales que sabemos im hablar de pagar costosas tasas del gobierno esperar meses julio octubre recibir autorización de empleo recibió carta negado cosa aparentemente nunca sucede cada estudiante aplica se desanima completamente no nos da viaje estancia