ive attempted redflag three times im state im contemplating again lost hope heres story fthis redflag note like rantasking advice everything started two years ago life pretty much started spiraling went straight downhill warning friends emotional support family anybody else lost hope felt like everything meaningless attempted redflag twice mother found second attempt  get help call ambulance let suffer throwing everything eventually blood three days straight told nobody family kept herself reaction anger understood first  almost lost daughter became way much show empathy sadness worry angry kept yelling me calling stupid ungrateful something reaction made afraid  want live afraid die point nightmares dying mental breakdowns daily thought dead two years absolute living nightmare nothing worse depressed suicidal yet terrified afraid dying like forcing live wanted to want mother angry knew disappointment everyone around me last school year became depressed get bed also developed extreme anxiety mom dad pick school daily basis kept anxiety attacks mental breakdowns terrible missed much school grades started dropping everything felt meaningless me kept hearing insults every side either parents younger sister lack energy live losing appetite caused underweight horrendous amount stress parents school mind became eventually much me even self harm helped anymore sleep even though insanely tired eat even though starving felt like anymore worst thing anyone talk it friends supportive family destroyed maybe even mental state itself one day body gave up fainted room parents took hospital seven days went diagnosed mental illness sort of tetany basically means big amount stress start attacks shaky body unable breathe pass out another shit plate finally winter break came by able get away school toxic people could finally fix sleep schedule least little bit know hospital made realize one cared all visitors parents brought food everyday one really gave shit me lonely make imaginary friend head could talk least sounds crazy became attached one me was skip way january mom finally decided take action after two years went psychiatrist surprise got diagnosed severe suicidal depression extreme anxiety got shit ton meds went home thought good way become old happy self happy meds supposed make happy right no realize make bunch melatonin come brain could go youtube post motivational videos still depressed sometimes looking back even think got worse time spent internet specifically youtube reddit got tired friends feeling lonely even though socially awkward overall antisocial person tried reach worked holy freaking shit worked felt happy happy first time two years felt like fireworks exploding smiling found amazing friends reddit definitely best ones ive ever had thing mental state id doubt myself mind would screaming deserve someone much better secretly hate friends pity decided first time damn life focus little selfish ignored thoughts felt like top world honestly ill never feel like ever again magical life backstabbed again made thoughts stronger selfishness believed every single thing mind told fell little tricks mental state got even worse self harm got worse again skipped school tried slit wrists kitchen eating sleeping medication mother found me bandaged wrists put bed angry looked tired like fought whole country ukraine herself blood whole kitchen wiped razors thrown away redflag note looked like nothing happened laying bed even though moving could still feel dizziness heart felt like going explode head took good ten minutes get rid blurry vision finally focus mother sitting next me looking many emotions eyes mascara around eyes smudged asked why thing told already wrote note fell asleep never took longer nap that felt like slept whole day honestly thought mother finally understood me finally getting grip mental state like shed supportive oh boy wrong i forced lie everyone told make story anyone including sisters psychiatrist asked happened last piece hope ever crushed like that next therapy session psychiatrist told burnt arm making schnitzels mom well believed it definitely mom fake alibi understand it mental breakdowns became pretty much daily thing kind  actually idea eyes could come doze tears friend time internet friend told everything felt like absolute shit totally hopeless lost worthless suicidal something made feel type way gave hope everything would okay again silly believed it felt good dream hope id fall asleep holding pillow pretending him id talk sister time point got annoyed listen anymore drew comics them love found light darkness mind become best thing happened time hope would fade one day come back other it finally got guts talk mom told ill go psychiatrist tell everything unknown reason agreed go me think way tired done even procrastinate told feelings redflag attempts that something kinda funny happened day look away mental breakdown disappointment moms eyes told hed lock mental hospital redflag watch crying saw face still accomplished something day actually invited lesson gave norwegian students studied psychology talked english not native language mental state felt good really nice mom even told proud me got locked mental hospital risk commiting redflag week horrendous treated us like animals cooked disgusting meals threatened feed us tubes nose finish whole thing the nurse told first hour there yelled us constantly extremely strict point even go toilet get water also mean every visitor let us shower everyday like supposed to wednesday saturday disgusting craziest week life first time life happy back home excited see comfortable bed teddy bears mostly could talk friend course fuck things up was friendless again hopeless again therapy working meds working nothing working mom kept constantly telling head anf stop depressed easy said already found friends here nice get speak up like barrier let myself felt like at point exfriend took hope happiness him take long mind start hitting huge waves depressing thoughts even bigger waves usual also take long believe fall it already broken heart broke even found one wanted kill themselves think ive ever felt hatred disgust disappointment like moment took sank almost killed person someone almost died me felt worse murder ever could now im pretty much here feeling worse ever shit happening everywhere around hopeless depressed suicidal agonized self genuinely know do meds work therapy work nothing fucking works week left school starts feel like last drop know im expecting think advice would nice read way here thank you
ive attempted redflag three times im state im contemplating again lost hope heres story fthis redflag note like rantasking advice everything started two years ago life pretty much started spiraling went straight downhill warning friends emotional support family anybody else lost hope felt like everything meaningless attempted redflag twice mother found second attempt get help call ambulance let suffer throwing everything eventually blood three days straight told nobody family kept herself reaction anger understood first almost lost daughter became way much show empathy sadness worry angry kept yelling me calling stupid ungrateful something reaction made afraid want live afraid die point nightmares dying mental breakdowns daily thought dead two years absolute living nightmare nothing worse depressed suicidal yet terrified afraid dying like forcing live wanted to want mother angry knew disappointment everyone around me last school year became depressed get bed also developed extreme anxiety mom dad pick school daily basis kept anxiety attacks mental breakdowns terrible missed much school grades started dropping everything felt meaningless me kept hearing insults every side either parents younger sister lack energy live losing appetite caused underweight horrendous amount stress parents school mind became eventually much me even self harm helped anymore sleep even though insanely tired eat even though starving felt like anymore worst thing anyone talk it friends supportive family destroyed maybe even mental state itself one day body gave up fainted room parents took hospital seven days went diagnosed mental illness sort of tetany basically means big amount stress start attacks shaky body unable breathe pass out another shit plate finally winter break came by able get away school toxic people could finally fix sleep schedule least little bit know hospital made realize one cared all visitors parents brought food everyday one really gave shit me lonely make imaginary friend head could talk least sounds crazy became attached one me was skip way january mom finally decided take action after two years went psychiatrist surprise got diagnosed severe suicidal depression extreme anxiety got shit ton meds went home thought good way become old happy self happy meds supposed make happy right no realize make bunch melatonin come brain could go youtube post motivational videos still depressed sometimes looking back even think got worse time spent internet specifically youtube reddit got tired friends feeling lonely even though socially awkward overall antisocial person tried reach worked holy freaking shit worked felt happy happy first time two years felt like fireworks exploding smiling found amazing friends reddit definitely best ones ive ever had thing mental state id doubt myself mind would screaming deserve someone much better secretly hate friends pity decided first time damn life focus little selfish ignored thoughts felt like top world honestly ill never feel like ever again magical life backstabbed again made thoughts stronger selfishness believed every single thing mind told fell little tricks mental state got even worse self harm got worse again skipped school tried slit wrists kitchen eating sleeping medication mother found me bandaged wrists put bed angry looked tired like fought whole country ukraine herself blood whole kitchen wiped razors thrown away redflag note looked like nothing happened laying bed even though moving could still feel dizziness heart felt like going explode head took good ten minutes get rid blurry vision finally focus mother sitting next me looking many emotions eyes mascara around eyes smudged asked why thing told already wrote note fell asleep never took longer nap that felt like slept whole day honestly thought mother finally understood me finally getting grip mental state like shed supportive oh boy wrong i forced lie everyone told make story anyone including sisters psychiatrist asked happened last piece hope ever crushed like that next therapy session psychiatrist told burnt arm making schnitzels mom well believed it definitely mom fake alibi understand it mental breakdowns became pretty much daily thing kind actually idea eyes could come doze tears friend time internet friend told everything felt like absolute shit totally hopeless lost worthless suicidal something made feel type way gave hope everything would okay again silly believed it felt good dream hope id fall asleep holding pillow pretending him id talk sister time point got annoyed listen anymore drew comics them love found light darkness mind become best thing happened time hope would fade one day come back other it finally got guts talk mom told ill go psychiatrist tell everything unknown reason agreed go me think way tired done even procrastinate told feelings redflag attempts that something kinda funny happened day look away mental breakdown disappointment moms eyes told hed lock mental hospital redflag watch crying saw face still accomplished something day actually invited lesson gave norwegian students studied psychology talked english not native language mental state felt good really nice mom even told proud me got locked mental hospital risk commiting redflag week horrendous treated us like animals cooked disgusting meals threatened feed us tubes nose finish whole thing the nurse told first hour there yelled us constantly extremely strict point even go toilet get water also mean every visitor let us shower everyday like supposed to wednesday saturday disgusting craziest week life first time life happy back home excited see comfortable bed teddy bears mostly could talk friend course fuck things up was friendless again hopeless again therapy working meds working nothing working mom kept constantly telling head anf stop depressed easy said already found friends here nice get speak up like barrier let myself felt like at point exfriend took hope happiness him take long mind start hitting huge waves depressing thoughts even bigger waves usual also take long believe fall it already broken heart broke even found one wanted kill themselves think ive ever felt hatred disgust disappointment like moment took sank almost killed person someone almost died me felt worse murder ever could now im pretty much here feeling worse ever shit happening everywhere around hopeless depressed suicidal agonized self genuinely know do meds work therapy work nothing fucking works week left school starts feel like last drop know im expecting think advice would nice read way here thank you
ive intento de bandera roja tres veces im estado im contemplando otra vez perdido esperanza heres historia fthis redflag nota como consejos de rantasking todo comenzó hace dos años la vida casi comenzó en espiral fue directamente cuesta abajo advertencia amigos apoyo emocional familia cualquier otro perdido esperanza se sentía como todo sin sentido intento de bandera roja dos veces madre encontró segundo intento obtener ayuda llamar ambulancia