hihello name emelia using new account want history ive contemplating posting weeks finally decided it im terrified breaking rules tell anything wrong take post fix it live old relevant im going say shortened version story little rant share likely nobody read respond so post deserted feel guilty think redflag alot think might happen consequences are feel reason because even though rest family toxic mum cat two things mean world me used live whole family mum dad two older brothers memories except cousin hating me aunts uncles bullying dad even though lived together older brothers sound nice books protecters loving mine tormented every minute saw me life bad compared others competition dad incurable illness others basically means ache time energy stuck bed days week bad young but said remember much them story going tell weirdly peiced together bare me years ago seeing quite young parents got divorced rest main family lived apart carers would go every weekend remember loving going there mum stopping brothers bullying little know bullied scared too oldest brother angry would pound door scream luckily never touched hurt scared wouldve done anything save mum wouldve taken hit her even though never came that loved going dads money would buy snacks cook dinner me mum working two jobs brother slacking rent trying feed us every day yet felt sorry her wanted spend time dad mistake bullied school weight poor pretended care breaking inside pretended friend took advantage joined gang bullies realised laughed them pretended bothered was one pushed rusty nail went foot cry scream hid pain anger inside bottled up laughed said fine accident purposely pushing rusty nail fine fine pushed knife throat night held firmly head slowly backing away wanted want it selfish thought die would selfish monster yet heard redflag stories think theyre selfish would think strong going long unfortunate felt pain throat look led decision felt bad took knife away crying tear silently put knife back asked mum move soon possible next day stood started leave alone back dad would criticise everything do mum treated woman capable mature age homphobic racist sexist let stay home alone going somewhere hated hated museums parks fairs used visit grew tired felt obligated go one night snapped told get phone could watch war documentry interest in snatched away even though mum texting something important screamed threw dinner snatched back couldnt fight took advantage that brother could couldve killed body dad let even look me knowing would get knife protect needed little unhinged back then still guess guess thats one thing right night wanted leave cold raining coat shoes blocking it trapped mum picked up never went around again never saw him spoke arranged neutral discussion family friend lovely second mum moment seemed blame everything ganged on outspoken mum fight me stopped seeing him learned things done mum past left thousands thousands debt paid child support lied millions times spread rumours manipulated brothers false stories saw was longer brothers dad us two moved stay friend back feet bad seeing little money teens lived tormented much brothers did least better scared grateful grateful mum protecting me finding solution vision clouded rock hers made cry looking struggling wouldve still would given support could hated self able work support us hated thinking saying that felt like let down didnt fast forward years moved away got apartment slowly opening again forgive him tried therapists made anxious hard fill silence nobody talking me blank human free guess cant complain confident outgoing fake persona hide behind it even mum want im gloomy im weird feel like sane belong here good think redflag alot it would look smell feel hear like thought way would go many know stopped me aside mum would think way would look disgusted police would fat body way chin would obvious way would lift clothes see fat vomit sight me thought need lose weight anything cant ugly die would hurt others worthless ugly gay disgusting monster fat weird freak loud think it think things true fat weird loud curvy weird expressive agree both though darkness always consumes positivity makeup dress nicely ugh waist big double chin disgusting makeup blended properly im going attract much attention colour goodlooking people writing good enough ever going get career want disappear eat much get more want world see me feel loved deserve it annoying friends hate me im stupid deserve school deserve freedom homeschooling look like should girl skinny like that get surgery im lazy work more fat obvious jump love way look crop top people see back stomach want noticed want bold
hihello name emelia using new account want history ive contemplating posting weeks finally decided it im terrified breaking rules tell anything wrong take post fix it liveold relevantim going say shortened version story little rant share likely nobody read respond so post deserted feel guilty think redflag alot think might happen consequences are feel reason because even though rest family toxic mum cat two things mean world me used live whole family mum dad two older brothers memories except cousin hating me aunts uncles bullying dad even though lived together older brothers sound nice books protecters loving mine tormented every minute saw me life bad compared others competition dad incurable illness others basically means ache time energy stuck bed days week bad young but said remember much them story going tell weirdly peiced together bare me years ago seeing quite young parents got divorced rest main family lived apart carers would go every weekend remember loving going there mum stopping brothers bullying little know bullied scared too oldest brother angry would pound door scream luckily never touched hurt scared wouldve done anything save mum wouldve taken hit her even though never came that loved going dads money would buy snacks cook dinner me mum working two jobs brother slacking rent trying feed us every day yet felt sorry her wanted spend time dad mistake bullied school weight poor pretended care breaking inside pretended friend took advantage joined gang bullies realised laughed them pretended bothered was one pushed rusty nail went foot cry scream hid pain anger inside bottled up laughed said fine accident purposely pushing rusty nail fine fine pushed knife throat night held firmly head slowly backing away wanted want it selfish thought die would selfish monster yet heard redflag stories think theyre selfish would think strong going long unfortunate felt pain throat look led decision felt bad took knife away crying tear silently put knife back asked mum move soon possible next day stood started leave alone back dad would criticise everything do mum treated woman capable mature age homphobic racist sexist let stay home alone going somewhere hated hated museums parks fairs used visit grew tired felt obligated go one night snapped told get phone could watch war documentry interest in snatched away even though mum texting something important screamed threw dinner snatched back couldnt fight took advantage that brother could couldve killed body dad let even look me knowing would get knife protect needed little unhinged back then still guess guess thats one thing right night wanted leave cold raining coat shoes blocking it trapped mum picked up never went around again never saw him spoke arranged neutral discussion family friend lovely second mum moment seemed blame everything ganged on outspoken mum fight me stopped seeing him learned things done mum past left thousands thousands debt paid child support lied millions times spread rumours manipulated brothers false stories saw was longer brothers dad us two moved stay friend back feet bad seeing little money teens lived tormented much brothers did least better scared grateful grateful mum protecting me finding solution vision clouded rock hers made cry looking struggling wouldve still would given support could hated self able work support us hated thinking saying that felt like let down didnt fast forward years moved away got apartment slowly opening again forgive him tried therapists made anxious hard fill silence nobody talking me blank human free guess cant complain confident outgoing fake persona hide behind it even mum want im gloomy im weird feel like sane belong here good think redflag alot it would look smell feel hear like thought way would go many know stopped me aside mum would think way would look disgusted police would fat body way chin would obvious way would lift clothes see fat vomit sight me thought need lose weight anything cant ugly die would hurt others worthless ugly gay disgusting monster fat weird freak loud think it think things true fat weird loud curvyweird expressive agree both though darkness always consumes positivity makeup dress nicely ugh waist big double chin disgusting makeup blended properly im going attract much attention colour goodlooking people writing good enough ever going get career want disappear eat much get more want world see me feel loved deserve it annoying friends hate me im stupid deserve school deserve freedom homeschooling look like should girl skinny like that get surgery im lazy work more fat obvious jump love way look crop top people see back stomach want noticed want bold
hihello nombre emelia usando nueva cuenta quiere historia ive contemplando publicar semanas finalmente decidió im aterrorizado romper las reglas decir nada mal después de arreglar liveold relevantim va decir versión abreviada historia poco desposeído compartir probablemente nadie leer responder tan post desertado sentirse culpable pensar Redflag mucho pensar que puede suceder consecuencias son la razón porque a pesar de descanso familia tóxico gato dos cosas significa mundo yo utilizaba vivir toda la familia papá dos hermanos mayores recuerdos excepto primo odio mis tías tíos bullying papá a pesar de vivir juntos hermanos mayores suenan agradables libros protectores que aman la mía atormentado cada minuto me vio la vida mal comparado con otros competencia papá