toxic relationship suicidal thoughts aftermath idk doi dont usually speak whats going life really go online tell anyone anything personal myself im usually reclusive try let life continue lately ive felt like im very dark place ive told opening forum help least help opening feel something read guess well ampxb heres big one ive never honest myself entire life battled sexuality gay straight bisexual ive bounced around entire life ive never chance explore gain comfort might be ive always relationship felt like wrong gender years ago found furry fandom accepting people felt home short started causes gaps life friends looking weird family asking questions clear never opened furry anyway hide directed me like sexuality lifestyle hobby people could relate too slowly faded away want friends family calling weirdo hid it still look lot art use help find comfort might be even begin start this  year long relationship partner ftm early process hormones anything yet started dating still going well say lindsey first love nothing stopped us wanted together puppy dog stage strongest awhile fell apart partner struggled faithfulness lot relationship primarily internet friends also furry internet big part lives means internet friendships play big part well hard time remembering privateclosed relationship within first  years th th year began make internet relationships making mistakes fueled mostly spite also begging attention anyone th year took break currently lived washington i taking care sick mother decided return california first week stopped talking one day sent message something forgotten me kept talking that began breakdown emotionally mother falling ill loneliness sudden change lifestyle  year relationship began regret choices talked things end asked could try again distance try fixing things distance us test waters things come agreed began talking day night calls intimate videos shared still felt strong love other as  year relationship you seemed like things getting better slowly  months eventually moved california mother care equipped family hard first managed however never really talked  months apart even though talked often lot days went without text call asked usually told family busy something eventually refusal talk happen time drew rift us one day shower decided pick phone browse chat histories time period look messages social media accounts went ultimate snoop found everything could  month time sent nudes countless men stand wanted fun once lied multiple times sex another man countless times texting inbetween hours together im sick writing it remembering it but haunted years found out fought days nonstop think would mark end relationship right well no justified saying hurt break wanted get back breaking her and like idiot agreed her took blame convinced sex man me deserved abuse forced us take break ive struggled depression entire life ive never months time without feeling creep way life usually triggered something anything could big could small never really know happens fought feeling two years peroidic episodes accusing lindsey terrified would cheat again idk stayed guilt fast forward  years weve together  years total hate myself everything me annoy ones care cant stop talking idk why excitement eagerness ive never really known get carried away people tell jerk taking lighthearted teasing far without realizing feeling embarrassed hours even notice ass attitude towards life soured im often irritable upset roommates unreasonably dont much good say anything anymore ive gotten bad enough people around speak it used attractive cared appearance excited show off but ive gained lot weight last year nearly  pounds nearing  pounds even ive never disgusted myself problem im upset eat habit forever lot people im sure stop im paying it stopped wearing favorite clothes stopped taking shirt public stopped making video calls cant stand might look im constantly paranoid shell cheat again ask questions go silent ruin entire days frustration did every fight would break up get upperhand never true maybe  days week spend together laugh two miserable know it cant let go coronavirus locked home last  months straight ive left handful times supplies overall ive anxious leave house im scared getting sick ive depressed relationship lost job live unemployment sit around waiting next day shes picked social media again talking people hours plays apex legends every single day someone met online someone talks hours hours bed dinner everywhere never explains anything tells wants social life again stays almost year lost friends bad attitude family learned im questioning sexuality i dont know how cut entirely spend time waking am smoking weed every  minutes sitting bedroom pm taking sleep aide fall asleep ive suffered nightmares regularly last year dont know anymore ive lost feeling im nub everything feel like husk autopilot thats breath air ive lost touch myself ive felt mental health suffer dont know how cant even describe whats happening anymore  weeks ago sat car wondered could use kill without hurting others dont gun lindsey came garage wanting smoke weed seen sitting car trance focused dashboard staring nothing told truth without meaning too slipped accident coming whatever stuck in response was passive encourage me but didnt anything help time either laid bed hours thinking little seemed mean her little seemed mean her everyone ampxb dont even know wrote this hoped maybe saying myself typing out maybe could stop myself feel like inevitable eventually today broke again mean it idk ive sitting box  days wondering theyre gone good time left read ignored entirely dont know anymore feel like control taking life dont want fight anymore dont want suffer dont want keep going everything ugly life race wars virus scares gays hated again conservatives rioting sexuality never got experience  years whats point continuing life never even start write entire story attention forum people real problems im sorry post even here know else post this im desperate advice anything
toxic relationship suicidal thoughts aftermath idk doi dont usually speak whats going life really go online tell anyone anything personal myself im usually reclusive try let life continue lately ive felt like im very dark place ive told opening forum help least help opening feel something read guess well ampxb heres big one ive never honest myself entire life battled sexuality gay straight bisexual ive bounced around entire life ive never chance explore gain comfort might be ive always relationship felt like wrong gender years ago found furry fandom accepting people felt home short started causes gaps life friends looking weird family asking questions clear never opened furry anyway hide directed me like sexuality lifestyle hobby people could relate too slowly faded away want friends family calling weirdo hid it still look lot art use help find comfort might be even begin start this year long relationship partner ftm early process hormones anything yet started dating still going well say lindsey first love nothing stopped us wanted together puppy dog stage strongest awhile fell apart partner struggled faithfulness lot relationship primarily internet friends also furry internet big part lives means internet friendships play big part well hard time remembering privateclosed relationship within first years th th year began make internet relationships making mistakes fueled mostly spite also begging attention anyone th year took break currently lived washington i taking care sick mother decided return california first week stopped talking one day sent message something forgotten me kept talking that began breakdown emotionally mother falling ill loneliness sudden change lifestyle year relationship began regret choices talked things end asked could try again distance try fixing things distance us test waters things come agreed began talking day night calls intimate videos shared still felt strong love other as year relationship you seemed like things getting better slowly months eventually moved california mother care equipped family hard first managed however never really talked months apart even though talked often lot days went without text call asked usually told family busy something eventually refusal talk happen time drew rift us one day shower decided pick phone browse chat histories time period look messages social media accounts went ultimate snoop found everything could month time sent nudes countless men stand wanted fun once lied multiple times sex another man countless times texting inbetween hours together im sick writing it remembering it but haunted years found out fought days nonstop think would mark end relationship right well no justified saying hurt break wanted get back breaking her and like idiot agreed her took blame convinced sex man me deserved abuse forced us take break ive struggled depression entire life ive never months time without feeling creep way life usually triggered something anything could big could small never really know happens fought feeling two years peroidic episodes accusing lindsey terrified would cheat again idk stayed guilt fast forward years weve together years total hate myself everything me annoy ones care cant stop talking idk why excitement eagerness ive never really known get carried away people tell jerk taking lighthearted teasing far without realizing feeling embarrassed hours even notice ass attitude towards life soured im often irritable upset roommates unreasonably dont much good say anything anymore ive gotten bad enough people around speak it used attractive cared appearance excited show off but ive gained lot weight last year nearly pounds nearing pounds even ive never disgusted myself problem im upset eat habit forever lot people im sure stop im paying it stopped wearing favorite clothes stopped taking shirt public stopped making video calls cant stand might look im constantly paranoid shell cheat again ask questions go silent ruin entire days frustration did every fight would break up get upperhand never true maybe days week spend together laughtwo miserableknow it cant let go coronavirus locked home last monthsstraight ive left handful times supplies overall ive anxious leave houseim scared getting sick ive depressed relationship lost job live unemployment sit around waiting next day shes picked social media again talking people hours plays apex legends every single day someone met online someone talks hours hours bed dinner everywhere never explains anything tells wants social life again stays almost year lost friends bad attitude family learned im questioning sexuality i dont know how cut entirely spend time waking am smoking weed every minutes sitting bedroom pm taking sleep aide fall asleep ive suffered nightmares regularly last year dont know anymore ive lost feeling im nub everything feel like husk autopilot thats breath air ive lost touch myself ive felt mental health suffer dont know how cant even describe whats happening anymore weeks ago sat car wondered could use kill without hurting others dont gun lindsey came garage wanting smoke weed seen sitting car trance focused dashboard staring nothing told truth without meaning too slipped accident coming whatever stuck in response was passive encourage me but didnt anything help time either laid bed hours thinking little seemed mean her little seemed mean her everyone ampxb dont even know wrote this hoped maybe saying myself typing out maybe could stop myself feel like inevitable eventually today broke again mean it idk ive sitting box days wondering theyre gone good time left read ignored entirely dont know anymore feel like control taking life dont want fight anymore dont want suffer dont want keep going everything ugly life race wars virus scares gays hated again conservatives rioting sexuality never got experience years whats point continuing life never even start write entire story attention forum people real problems im sorry post even here know else post this im desperate advice anything
tóxico relación pensamientos suicidas secuelas idk doi generalmente no hablar lo que va la vida realmente ir en línea decirle a alguien algo personal yo mismo