fiance left me completely fault cant stop blaming dark thoughts backcurrent issuestate mind this blame myself keep kind of i deserve die thoughts know illness speaking least hope is first time ive thoughts attempted things past gone psychwards twice quite years back though medication medication works this knocked harder thought would want strong therapy next wednesday im scared want happy want forgive myself know stable actually want die think deserve to through  different relationships  engagements now age  feel like point even  exes minus recent one abusive unhealthy me crosspost offmychest post describing happened know do feel lost hopeless explanation got recently happy more tried get bit explanation angered her fine literally  hours ago told loved me even asked anything bothering happy said absolutely nothing wrong happy going start saving place live year everything honestly first healthy relationship had ive many people past abuse me first woman ever love way someone loved give love gave equally agreed almost everything important friends years know handle things recently  months ago  put medication helps depression well made plummet back dark places want anything back wanted give back everything got her even ring still says wants friends ready wish understood knew went wrong started unhappy realized would done everything fix work it least talk things could end mutually knows me incredibly honest relationship secrets whatsoever agreed wed always tell anything wrong soon was im back beginning trying pick pieces figure life even know begin even know trust anyone anymore let anyone life like that even general came today drop everything off ring jewlery bought her still woudlnt tell truth confronted directly claimed want hurt feelings already did right thinking end something told already that getting job incredibly important felt like something tell first place also told part often badly reacted mother abusing me told detail happened every time happened say wants friends someday again go contact whatsoever then tried ask least keep ring memories sake refused that least take back favorite stuffed animal bought early relationship everything else gave back recently unfriended facebook unfollowed instagram twitter everywhere else feels surreal blame completely good making thoughts go bad places im going best let thoughts win spend time people im alone also jobs already lined interviews next week class applied for told that change thought mind all hope one day friends again end crosspost
fiance left me completely fault cant stop blaming dark thoughts backcurrent issuestate mind this blame myself keep kind of i deserve die thoughts know illness speaking least hope is first time ive thoughts attempted things past gone psychwards twice quite years back though medication medication works this knocked harder thought would want strong therapy next wednesday im scared want happy want forgive myself know stable actually want die think deserve to through different relationships engagements now age feel like point even exes minus recent one abusive unhealthy me crosspost offmychest post describing happened know do feel lost hopeless explanation got recently happy more tried get bit explanation angered her fine literally hours ago told loved me even asked anything bothering happy said absolutely nothing wrong happy going start saving place live year everything honestly first healthy relationship had ive many people past abuse me first woman ever love way someone loved give love gave equally agreed almost everything important friends years know handle things recently months ago put medication helps depression well made plummet back dark places want anything back wanted give back everything got her even ring still says wants friends ready wish understood knew went wrong started unhappy realized would done everything fix work it least talk things could end mutually knows me incredibly honest relationship secrets whatsoever agreed wed always tell anything wrong soon was im back beginning trying pick pieces figure life even know begin even know trust anyone anymore let anyone life like that even general came today drop everything off ring jewlery bought her still woudlnt tell truth confronted directly claimed want hurt feelings already did right thinking end something told already that getting job incredibly important felt like something tell first place also told part often badly reacted mother abusing me told detail happened every time happened say wants friends someday again go contact whatsoever then tried ask least keep ring memories sake refused that least take back favorite stuffed animal bought early relationship everything else gave back recently unfriended facebook unfollowed instagram twitter everywhere else feels surreal blame completely good making thoughts go bad places im going best let thoughts win spend time people im alone also jobs already lined interviews next week class applied for told that change thought mind all hope one day friends again end crosspost
prometido me dejó completamente la culpa no puedo dejar de culpar pensamientos oscuros detrás de la actual mente de estado problema esta culpa me mantengo tipo de morir pensamientos saber la enfermedad hablar menos esperanza es la primera vez que los pensamientos ive intentaron cosas pasado psychwards dos veces bastante años atrás, aunque medicamentos trabaja este pensamiento más duro golpeado querría terapia fuerte el próximo miércoles