looking forwardi going kill saturday im going take time selfish write why think problems started age two father walked life never came back never wanted anything me mom single close five got man physically verbally abused year knowing happening decided marry him kid half brother always made feel left like belong feel like ive never really family result im gay hard time coming terms this hated want gay struggled prayed nothing ever changed around age  fell love someone thought best friend lead years eventually ended  years later told kill upset string broken promises course try kill knew nothing next day die sent text saying done day attempted redflag get cop knocking door leads hospitalized im highschool develop schizophrenia im put several mood stabilzers anti depressants anti psychotics makes life living hell sedate never helped hallucinations spent good three years essentially staring bed room ceiling unable muster energy leave room hallucinating taunted voices stopped taking medication tried really really heard get life track made friend lives seas became attached supportive nice me lost  pounds gaining ton wheight tried get job tried make friends got part time job eventually everything ive worked seems like nothing im still alone feel feral hard time articulating thoughts psychiatrist put medication help concentrate agreed eventually tried see furthering education dead end far mean ive getting closer friend seas point think ive fallen love tell feel seem care still fine countinue friendship eventually says want anything friendship im fine long happy meet another guy psych issues hes always nice decide chase years getting dating first date goes okay learn family friends moved situation needed help happy help next day go house trying help get clothes washed hang blows kept asking okay sort nervous tick mine dragged glass point im upset life filled failed relationships friendships relationships family seas friend becoming distant slowly cutting life finally today cant take anymore tell im going disapear want know im going want worry him know validate life people inhuman live life without single meaningful relationship im pain want die would worse live like this constant hell confusion lonliness im looking forward oppurtunity least likely disturbed saved many people told life would improve gotten worse know one care everything go fine without me still tried help guy hurt today dropped food gave company know hes alone worry literal regret death affect single person treated like trash im idiot
looking forwardi going kill saturday im going take time selfish write why think problems started age two father walked life never came back never wanted anything me mom single close five got man physically verbally abused year knowing happening decided marry him kid half brother always made feel left like belong feel like ive never really family result im gay hard time coming terms this hated want gay struggled prayed nothing ever changed around age fell love someone thought best friend lead years eventually ended years later told kill upset string broken promises course try kill knew nothing next day die sent text saying done day attempted redflag get cop knocking door leads hospitalized im highschool develop schizophrenia im put several mood stabilzers anti depressants anti psychotics makes life living hell sedate never helped hallucinations spent good three years essentially staring bed room ceiling unable muster energy leave room hallucinating taunted voices stopped taking medication tried really really heard get life track made friend lives seas became attached supportive nice me lost pounds gaining ton wheight tried get job tried make friends got part time job eventually everything ive worked seems like nothing im still alone feel feral hard time articulating thoughts psychiatrist put medication help concentrate agreed eventually tried see furthering education dead end far mean ive getting closer friend seas point think ive fallen love tell feel seem care still fine countinue friendship eventually says want anything friendship im fine long happy meet another guy psych issues hes always nice decide chase years getting dating first date goes okay learn family friends moved situation needed help happy help next day go house trying help get clothes washed hang blows kept asking okay sort nervous tick mine dragged glass point im upset life filled failed relationships friendships relationships family seas friend becoming distant slowly cutting life finally today cant take anymore tell im going disapear want know im going want worry him know validate life people inhuman live life without single meaningful relationship im pain want die would worse live like this constant hell confusion lonliness im looking forward oppurtunity least likely disturbed saved many people told life would improve gotten worse know one care everything go fine without me still tried help guy hurt today dropped food gave company know hes alone worry literal regret death affect single person treated like trash im idiot
Mirando hacia adelante voy a matar sábado im va a tomar tiempo egoísta escribir por qué pensar problemas comenzó la edad dos padre caminar vida nunca volvió nunca quiso nada mamá soltero cerca cinco hombre físicamente abusado año sabiendo que sucede decidido casarse hijo medio hermano siempre hizo sentir izquierda pertenencia sentir como vida nunca realmente familia resultado im gay duro tiempo venir términos este odiado deseo gay luchado rezó nada cambió en torno a edad cayó amor alguien pensó mejor amigo plomo años finalmente terminó años después le dijo matar cuerda trastornada curso promesas roto tratar de matar sabía nada al día siguiente muerte enviado texto diciendo hecho día intento rojo Flag conseguir policía golpear puerta leads hospitalizado im highschool desarrollo esquizofrenia im poner varios estabilizadores humor antidepresivos antipsicóticos hace vida vida infierno sedate nunca ayudó alucinaciones pasó bueno tres años esencialmente mirando cama techo incapaz de reunir energía dejar habitación alucinación voces burladas dejó de tomar medicamentos realmente realmente oído conseguir vida pista hizo amigos vidas vida