i essentially live purely obligationi want die hard alive lately things keep going family or least members family friend kieran passion music smallest hope still better tomorrow family selfexplanatory love brothers mother well grandparents father different story though necessarily hate zero love him id hate devastate killing myself despite brain always telling theyd get it anyways maybe would dunno friend kieran also reason hes six years hes done many financial moral things me hes kept going downward spiral many many times yet still treat like shit bitter sad feel time deserve him really dont love guy could ever know brother actual brothers sometimes music selfexplanatory keeps going hope also selfexplanatory though question every day still hope said still really wish alive things thankful for though theyre short supply anyways im lonely  time  time im depressed hardly room happiness any often times ill think im happy moment realize later wasnt merely distracted depression loneliness one biggest blows romantic failure girlfriend attempts ive made getting one year flopped completely first girl tried getting of genuinely liked connection too ghosted upon confession never acknowledging since second attempt lifelong best friend emily hardest part fact wanted date did issue was attracted women guys despite best efforts look past that blame her but still hurt ive always sort crushed bit get close actually meaningful relationship ruined something control soul crushing but digress absolutely emotionally debilitating lonesome way want loved accepted somebody likes me likes things do may lot ask for hurts romantically lonesome really really hurts another factor constant fear future want nothing write music living loyal fanbase share mostly horrible life experiences with well give advice aid via music create wish wealthy though dislike that want earn enough live of well buy things id like buy there however constant fear ill never able live dream out skill limitations time limitations way world works etc many factors working me terrifies know possible ill fail almost makes trying seem worth it try know better chance failing passing obviously plan giving time soon terrifies me keeps night yet another thing depresses loss innocenceloss innocence shit childhood that whenever see pretty girl watch anime see cartoon etc become depressed cartoon anime ones show things like love stories coming age stories even simple shit like kid normal life get jealous that upsets me and especially depresses me sexual stuff see hear anything sexual become so depressed know why weirds too get it probably understand since even understand makes articulating impossible tried maybe understand and lastly final thing ill talk adds anguish since many anisocial life become money friends besides one best friend cant get much since sheltered life social skills goddamn terrible meeting new people huge struggle me so naturally get cooped house long periods time thinking sad lonely and trust me thinking much regularly dangerous im sure know that really eats away you apologize wall text call post lot mind get out even ive repeated shit almost every post ive made thanks whoever reads stupid thing comments especially comment really need human contact even comment reddit heavily appreciated cheers good daynight ps sorry typos really feel like reading whole thing revise it almost  am lmao
i essentially live purely obligationi want die hard alive lately things keep going family or least members family friend kieran passion music smallest hope still better tomorrow family selfexplanatory love brothers mother well grandparents father different story though necessarily hate zero love him id hate devastate killing myself despite brain always telling theyd get it anyways maybe would dunno friend kieran also reason hes six years hes done many financial moral things me hes kept going downward spiral many many times yet still treat like shit bitter sad feel time deserve him really dont love guy could ever know brother actual brothers sometimes music selfexplanatory keeps going hope also selfexplanatory though question every day still hope said still really wish alive things thankful for though theyre short supply anyways im lonely time time im depressed hardly room happiness any often times ill think im happy moment realize later wasnt merely distracted depression loneliness one biggest blows romantic failure girlfriend attempts ive made getting one year flopped completely first girl tried getting of genuinely liked connection too ghosted upon confession never acknowledging since second attempt lifelong best friend emily hardest part fact wanted date did issue was attracted women guys despite best efforts look past that blame her but still hurt ive always sort crushed bit get close actually meaningful relationship ruined something control soul crushing but digress absolutely emotionally debilitating lonesome way want loved accepted somebody likes me likes things do may lot ask for hurts romantically lonesome really really hurts another factor constant fear future want nothing write music living loyal fanbase share mostly horrible life experiences with well give advice aid via music create wish wealthy though dislike that want earn enough live of well buy things id like buy there however constant fear ill never able live dream out skill limitations time limitations way world works etc many factors working me terrifies know possible ill fail almost makes trying seem worth it try know better chance failing passing obviously plan giving time soon terrifies me keeps night yet another thing depresses loss innocenceloss innocence shit childhood that whenever see pretty girl watch anime see cartoon etc become depressed cartoon anime ones show things like love stories coming age stories even simple shit like kid normal life get jealous that upsets me and especially depresses me sexual stuff see hear anything sexual become so depressed know why weirds too get it probably understand since even understand makes articulating impossible tried maybe understand and lastly final thing ill talk adds anguish since many anisocial life become money friends besides one best friend cant get much since sheltered life social skills goddamn terrible meeting new people huge struggle me so naturally get cooped house long periods time thinking sad lonely and trust me thinking much regularly dangerousim sure know that really eats away you apologize wall text call post lot mind get out even ive repeated shit almost every post ive made thanks whoever reads stupid thing comments especially comment really need human contact even comment reddit heavily appreciated cheers good daynight ps sorry typos really feel like reading whole thing revise it almost am lmao
Yo esencialmente vivo puramente obligación quiero morir duro vivo últimamente las cosas siguen yendo familia o menos miembros familia amigo kieran pasión música más pequeña esperanza aún mejor mañana familia autoexplicativo amor hermanos madre bien abuelo padre diferente historia aunque necesariamente odio cero amor id odio devastate matar a mí mismo a pesar de cerebro siempre diciendo que lo conseguirían de todos modos tal vez no sé amigo kieran también razón hes hes seis años él ha hecho muchas cosas morales financieras me sigue yendo espiral descendente muchas veces sin embargo todavía tratar como mierda amarga triste sentir tiempo merecer él realmente no amor chico podría conocer hermanos reales a veces música autoexplicativo sigue yendo esperanza también autoexplicativo aunque pregunta todos los días esperanza dijo todavía realmente desear cosas vivas agradecidos por aunque son suministro corto de todos modos