recovery much harder depression itselfhello ive never made reddit post probably never this thought share start please read currently bad place writing good me may bad you today months anniversary redflag attempt context high school girl los angeles struggled lack self worth thoughts redflag since maybe th th grade mother father older sister always normal loving people me albeit show strange ways were east asian family love sense tough love makes sense anyways first time seriously considered killing th grade honestly remember exact details think got bad grade report card day mom came room started crying screaming saying know me keep mind sister straight student throughout high school getting b foreign parents long ago specifically remember day mom telling would rather kill live me  so next three years continued spiraling chasm depression anxiety never told anybody middle school depression considered sin reason continued fights parents constantly depression mostly contained seriously consider ending life high school came along mother wanted attend private school district sake better education catholic allgirls school knew nobody there make matters worse known bisexual since remember my parents know make matters even more worse grandma hospitalized time best friendneighbors house burnt down yeah life wreck get whole lot worse though back middle school particularly enjoy going class liked seeing friends learning new things different girls private school exclusive demeaning around good people every day felt like spirit getting crushed entered campus know sound dramatic go place hate entire  hours day takes toll mental health started relapsing selfharming ways first thoughts insomnia sleeping  every night want wake next morning months school something happened girls feel uncomfortable talking even strangers internet result events seriously considering ending life point decided tell parents began mom traditionalminded asian is immediately told suck stop white people problems yeah problems seem minor compared scale world upper middle class family lives suburban neighborhood privileges things many people work hard whole lives still get life good but time blinded depression failed see things one track mindset set killing myself fact parents take seriously made even sure life worthless depressed crying every day school getting anything accomplished sisters intervention made end all convinced go see therapist talked longrepressed issues parents fix things start one day mom called downstairs sat immediately started sobbing telling much loved me sorry see upset before told could go back old school next year old friends were touched wet cheek realized crying too parents never close seeing like completely shell shocked me asked promise never kill myself did on drove school every day be strong months summer would tell left car grueling school year made alive back old school plenty friends much better thanks therapy still get depressed often think redflag time morning dad got fight small one got pretty quickly think much it walked room couple hours later started crying apologizing me told loved much never wanted see upset completely torn never seen dad cry before back went horrible school interact time kept dark regarding mental health never saw express emotion toward me now eyes red tear streaks going face understand upset something small insignificant fight tons past every little thing hit mehe knew knew redflag attempt knew everything happened last year time knew thought fault letting get bad parents thought fault whole time obsessed horrible felt acknowledge pain parents must felt imagine parents must felt raising loving child tell want die must worst feeling world knowing close losing child caught emotions time deep depression realize much loved me much pain would cause actually succeeded killing myself parents never argue anymore never get fights theyre scared spiral again might lead permanent decisions time weird happy fight anymore find missing times would get mad trivial things would forget within hour now whenever seem upset immediately start overly kind sympathetic think reason hurts much know reason become way selfish trying kill myself could realize much would hurt around me already hurt parents much feel like ive broke them know continue here mind clearer realizing damage done previously could see feel guilty even thinking killing myself knowing pain would transferred family thought going depression hardest part turns out recovering infinitely harder read way endi guess one thing say theres always somebody loves cares deeply many wonderful things life celebrate people want celebrate you depression bitch gets way that fight it
recovery much harder depression itselfhello ive never made reddit post probably never this thought share start please read currently bad place writing good me may bad you today months anniversary redflag attempt context high school girl los angeles struggled lack self worth thoughts redflag since maybe th th grade mother father older sister always normal loving people me albeit show strange ways were east asian family love sense tough love makes sense anyways first time seriously considered killing th grade honestly remember exact details think got bad grade report card day mom came room started crying screaming saying know me keep mind sister straight student throughout high school getting b foreign parents long ago specifically remember day mom telling would rather kill live me so next three years continued spiraling chasm depression anxiety never told anybody middle school depression considered sin reason continued fights parents constantly depression mostly contained seriously consider ending life high school came along mother wanted attend private school district sake better education catholic allgirls school knew nobody there make matters worse known bisexual since remember my parents know make matters even more worse grandma hospitalized time best friendneighbors house burnt downyeah life wreck get whole lot worse though back middle school particularly enjoy going class liked seeing friends learning new things different girls private school exclusive demeaning around good people every day felt like spirit getting crushed entered campus know sound dramatic go place hate entire hours day takes toll mental health started relapsing selfharming ways first thoughts insomnia sleeping every night want wake next morning months school something happened girls feel uncomfortable talking even strangers internet result events seriously considering ending life point decided tell parents began mom traditionalminded asian is immediately told suck stop white people problemsyeah problems seem minor compared scale world upper middle class family lives suburban neighborhood privileges things many people work hard whole lives still get life good but time blinded depression failed see things one track mindset set killing myself fact parents take seriously made even sure life worthless depressed crying every day school getting anything accomplished sisters intervention made end all convinced go see therapist talked longrepressed issues parents fix things start one day mom called downstairs sat immediately started sobbing telling much loved me sorry see upset before told could go back old school next year old friends were touched wet cheek realized crying too parents never close seeing like completely shell shocked me asked promise never kill myself did on drove school every day be strong months summer would tell left car grueling school year made alive back old school plenty friends much better thanks therapy still get depressed often think redflag time morning dad got fight small one got pretty quickly think much it walked room couple hours later started crying apologizing me told loved much never wanted see upset completely torn never seen dad cry before back went horrible school interact time kept dark regarding mental health never saw express emotion toward me now eyes red tear streaks going face understand upset something small insignificant fight tons past every little thing hit mehe knew knew redflag attempt knew everything happened last year time knew thought fault letting get bad parents thought fault whole time obsessed horrible felt acknowledge pain parents must felt imagine parents must felt raising loving child tell want die must worst feeling world knowing close losing child caught emotions time deep depression realize much loved me much pain would cause actually succeeded killing myself parents never argue anymore never get fights theyre scared spiral again might lead permanent decisions time weird happy fight anymore find missing times would get mad trivial things would forget within hour now whenever seem upset immediately start overly kind sympathetic think reason hurts much know reason become way selfish trying kill myself could realize much would hurt around me already hurt parents much feel like ive broke them know continue here mind clearer realizing damage done previously could see feel guilty even thinking killing myself knowing pain would transferred family thought going depression hardest part turns out recovering infinitely harder read way endi guess one thing say theres always somebody loves cares deeply many wonderful things life celebrate people want celebrate you depression bitch gets way that fight it
recuperación mucho más difícil depresión sí mismohello ive nunca hizo reddit post probablemente nunca este pensamiento compartir empezar por favor leer actualmente mal lugar escribir bueno me puede mal hoy meses aniversario Redflag intento contexto escuela secundaria chica los angeles luchado falta de sí mismo vale la pena pensamientos Redflag ya tal vez th grado madre padre hermana mayor siempre normal amando a la gente aunque mostrar maneras extrañas eran este asiático familia amor sentido duro amor tiene sentido de todos modos primera vez seriamente considerado matar a grado honestamente recordar detalles exactos creo que consiguió mala nota informe tarjeta día mamá vino habitación comenzó llorando diciendo saber que mantener mente hermana estudiante recta a través de la escuela secundaria conseguir padres extranjeros b hace mucho tiempo recuerdo día mamá diciendo que preferiría matarme vivir