waiting die passively suicidalim year married woman boring clericaladministrative work ever since puberty ive dealt depression social anxiety codependency ive suicidal thoughts since  never acted upon meaningful way except one time young teen tried get top building jump it foiled locked door ridiculous last years rough less less energy terrible time paying attention work suffer it makes feel even like shit even suicidal thoughts used enjoy things passion dance literature history etc im starting find difficult even get excited things now real friends apart one lovely lady may bonded college lives far away due combination terrible social skills well afraid basically everyone right now meaningful relationships may parents brother husband husband genuinely good guy honestly love man never want get divorced think matter time marriage crumbles apart due number reasons  life sentence mental illness  seem give fuck  narrow interests gaming gaming combined  inability take pleasure anything anymore ive tried get interested things together thing together gaming watching tv worse sex life frankly disappointing good ill hearts tied libido feel unloved scarcity it last times weve sex like making love someone whod rather something else really passive disinterested change appearance since started dating either hes sick difference drives ive tried therapy last round go well psychiatrist kept trying focus finding meaningful career honestly self esteem shit automatically think would fail whatever set do im going try frustrating im tired kept wishing ill erased existence memory think drinking bottle draino know loved ones would tormented guilt want hurt them
waiting die passively suicidalim year married woman boring clericaladministrative work ever since puberty ive dealt depression social anxiety codependency ive suicidal thoughts since never acted upon meaningful way except one time young teen tried get top building jump it foiled locked door ridiculous last years rough less less energy terrible time paying attention work suffer it makes feel even like shiteven suicidal thoughts used enjoy things passion dance literature history etc im starting find difficult even get excited things now real friends apart one lovely lady may bonded college lives far away due combination terrible social skills well afraid basically everyone right now meaningful relationships may parents brother husband husband genuinely good guy honestly love man never want get divorced think matter time marriage crumbles apart due number reasons life sentence mental illness seem give fuck narrow interests gaming gaming combined inability take pleasure anything anymore ive tried get interested things together thing together gaming watching tv worse sex life frankly disappointing good ill hearts tied libido feel unloved scarcity it last times weve sex like making love someone whod rather something else really passive disinterested change appearance since started dating either hes sick difference drives ive tried therapy last round go well psychiatrist kept trying focus finding meaningful career honestly self esteem shit automatically think would fail whatever set do im going try frustrating im tired kept wishing ill erased existence memory think drinking bottle draino know loved ones would tormented guilt want hurt them
Esperar morir pasivamente suicidaim año casado mujer clerical aburrido trabajo administrativo desde pubertad ive tramite depresión social ansiedad codependencia ive pensamientos suicidas desde nunca actuar sobre manera significativa excepto una vez joven adolescente tratado de conseguir edificio superior salto se desplomó puerta cerrada ridículo los últimos años áspera menos energía terrible tiempo prestar atención trabajo sufrir hace sentir incluso como mierdaeven pensamientos suicidas utilizados disfrutar cosas pasión danza literatura historia etc im empezando encontrar difícil incluso conseguir cosas emocionantes ahora amigos reales aparte una encantadora dama puede unirse a la universidad vidas lejos debido a combinación terribles habilidades sociales bien miedo básicamente todo el mundo ahora relaciones significativas puede padres hermano marido marido genuinamente bueno hombre honestamente amor hombre nunca quieren divorciarse pensar materia tiempo matrimonio se desintegra debido número razones de la vida sentencia enfermedad mental parece dar mierda estrechos intereses juego juegos combinados incapacidad tomar placer cualquier cosa más ha tratado de conseguir cosas juntos juego televisión peor sexo vida francamente decepcionante bueno mal corazones atado libido sensación de escasez no amado