one big mistake ends alldear all like share current feelings way vent everything rages head thuesday last week last working day long planned holiday japan evening became tired temperature rose  went bed early temperature rose bit night came back  next morning thinking postponing departure roommate pushed go said want expose people perhaps pass virus sure called airline company noted contact gp called gp basis phyiscal complaints coughing sneezing could fly decided go take easy first days thinking could mild cold blocked nose days body tired due end stressfull period work think agreed also based stress level make think clear really called parents advice didnt japan gradually started show flu symptoms although overall felt ok day flu sick could expected day night however realized turn flu im  sure off could passed travellers inside airplane study  shows passengers  vonuerable virusses outside went hospital influenza test showed negative read swab tests  reliable according fda im positive flu know hell thinking board plane im stuck hotel rooms exposed people potential lethal disease notes annually ca  people die flu related infection attack rate  population brings following max average mortality calculation  bn population x    persons get flu    mln   although cough sneeze flu also transmittable breath lets presume ive infected  persons  chance im going responsible someones death im usually responsible person thought responsible someones death unbearable me cant live life idea might killed someone ill never find know whether might infected burden never released im much regret get plane miserable time life ruined want end life even following reasons to  im bhuddist therefore redflag negative karma you hurt others unpleasant way exiting life ill lower rebirth next life  love mother know devastated many many years  cant see little niece nephew grow up tried slow hang wrote goodbye letters family puss stopped getting unconsious days ago major panic attacks calmed bit talked dad yesterday although mention mental state regretted board plane mom said relax also talked friend comforting however lost think future ofcourse say take easy carry burden murderer start eating drinking backup plan redflag dehadration would time tokio ive booked hotelroom week ive time die slowly made stupid choice life never again acted unresponsible must pay sin im much regret cant turn back time maybe someone die ignorance chance haunt rest life prefer end japan waste time bought rope today could wait till im back home easier body could minimize burden parents good life everything could wish for messed never same supposed fun holiday end  years life perspective repent stupid life threatening decisions ive made done late now cant turn back time yes chance ive killed someone low noted inluenza deaths seniors chance much needless risk ive endangered people with cant live idea end life over finished grief much want kill asap afraid back last moment unsuccesfull potential brain damage would better back home buy better supplies ive wait  weeks that oh mess everything worked well this im sopping hotel room full thoughts feel sorry family friends buddhist dharma says focus future past result caused unintentional harm feel sorry lowereing negative karma use make changes life generate good karma helping others genuine good person cant life grief stupid mistake need carry rest life cant come comfort always question mark many people suffered action thanks reading hope suffering end soon
one big mistake ends alldear all like share current feelings way vent everything rages head thuesday last week last working day long planned holiday japan evening became tired temperature rose went bed early temperature rose bit night came back next morning thinking postponing departure roommate pushed go said want expose people perhaps pass virus sure called airline company noted contact gp called gp basis phyiscal complaints coughing sneezing could fly decided go take easy first days thinking could mild cold blocked nose days body tired due end stressfull period work think agreed also based stress level make think clear really called parents advice didnt japan gradually started show flu symptoms although overall felt ok day flu sick could expected day night however realized turn flu im sure off could passed travellers inside airplane study shows passengers vonuerable virusses outside went hospital influenza test showed negative read swab tests reliable according fda im positive flu know hell thinking board plane im stuck hotel rooms exposed people potential lethal disease notes annually ca people die flu related infection attack rate population brings following max average mortality calculation bn population x persons get flu mln although cough sneeze flu also transmittable breath lets presume ive infected persons chance im going responsible someonesdeath im usually responsible person thought responsible someones death unbearable me cant live life idea might killed someone ill never find know whether might infected burden never released im much regret get plane miserable time life ruined want end life even following reasons to im bhuddist therefore redflag negative karma you hurt others unpleasant way exiting life ill lower rebirth next life love mother know devastated many many years cant see little niece nephew grow up tried slow hang wrote goodbye letters family puss stopped getting unconsious days ago major panic attacks calmed bit talked dad yesterday although mention mental state regretted board plane mom said relax also talked friend comforting however lost think future ofcourse say take easy carry burden murderer start eating drinking backup plan redflag dehadration would time tokio ive booked hotelroom week ive time die slowly made stupid choice life never again acted unresponsible must pay sin im much regret cant turn back time maybe someone die ignorance chance haunt rest life prefer end japan waste time bought rope today could wait till im back home easier body could minimize burden parents good life everything could wish for messed never same supposed fun holiday end years life perspective repent stupid life threatening decisions ive made done late now cant turn back time yes chance ive killed someone low noted inluenza deaths seniors chance much needless risk ive endangered people with cant live idea end life over finished grief much want kill asap afraid back last moment unsuccesfull potential brain damage would better back home buy better supplies ive wait weeks that oh mess everything worked well this im sopping hotel room full thoughts feel sorry family friends buddhist dharma says focus future past result caused unintentional harm feel sorry lowereing negative karma use make changes life generate good karma helping others genuine good person cant life grief stupid mistake need carry rest life cant come comfort always question mark many people suffered action thanks reading hope suffering end soon
Un gran error termina todos como compartir sentimientos actuales ventilación todo rabia cabeza martes la semana pasada día de trabajo largo planeado fiesta noche japan se convirtió en cansado temperatura se levantó cama temprano temperatura se levantó poco noche volvió a la mañana siguiente pensamiento postergación salida compañero de cuarto empujado go dijo want exhibition personas tal vez pasar virus seguro llamada compañía aérea noteed contacto gp llamada base gp quejas phyiscal toser estornudo podría volar decidió ir fácil primeros días pensar podría frío leve bloqueo nariz días cuerpo cansado debido final estresante trabajo pensar también basado nivel de estrés hacer pensar claro realmente llamado padres consejos no japan comenzó gradualmente mostrar síntomas de la gripe, aunque en general se sentía bien día enfermo podría esperar día noche sin embargo se dio cuenta vuelta gripe im seguro podía pasar viajeros dentro de estudio avión muestra pasajeros vonuerables viruses fuera de hospital prueba de influenza mostró negativo lectura pruebas de muestras de hisopos confiables según fda