ive fallen far im give trying get outwall text coming gotta get out ampxb growing feels like bad dream multiple divorces birth parents seeing sets constantly fight new spouses ive bad memories engrained since childhood guess first one ive personally experienced dad nd spouse one weekend moms house visitation my dad custody me everything normal brought back dads house only instead dad stepmom door greet me dad asked went dad said left store asked completely ignorant fighting would happen two around dad said no coming back took baby halfbrother left like   time rd grade legit cried  hours straight broke around time state mandated testing i classmate teacher mom called mom broke class time went continued strong school as time advanced honors classes occasional slip ups would lose motivation remembering past ampxb point high school mom spouse whom cheated dad still  year old together since spouse like dad place got loud argument me half brother half sister side rush bedroom saw started arguing sister previously told arguing lot lately overheard talking getting divorce sorta ignored claims disbelief seeing two fighting brought memory day stepmom left immediately broke crying rage middle room two immediately stopped arguing seeing me calm best behaved child family suddenly burst out threw off really remember much that eventually got divorce mom moved apartment brother sister ill get back later ampxb half year year dad stepmom broke up dad met current spouse complex job time located  kids own son autism week half younger me daughter  months younger sister son month younger half brother dads side growing hell cause overprotected kids highly showed favortism towards them often getting trouble things did eventually mellowed saw things got line behaving with dads help anyways mom spouse got divorce dad current spouse started getting heated arguments resulted dad moving back twice span year two pretty much point complete wreck somehow still managing keep grades school two eventually came terms everything fine stable now ampxb back mom siblings apartment time relationship mom sister got pretty bad sister hit teenage years getting pretty rebellious and mom exactly mentally stable help found reason spouse broken basically cheating another lady mind you time sides family closed minded sort thing mom constantly going out leaving sister when visitation basically running apartment gone point either valentines day sisters birthday cant remember visitation mom sister locked room grandparents place bad mood divorce things mom sorta really naggy sister day tried stand her snap threaten me way back apartment old bad memories came broke car mom pulled took us park set apartment complex try talk us sat us seperately started talking us turn talking brother sister crying turned focused anger towards mom coming realization lot sadness happened life her got started walking complex back apartment mom saw came grabbed shoulder now ive never one fight cause problems always quiet one never really anything besides reading playing video games ive never fight moment grabbed me instinctively twisted arm got small fight nothing crazy grapple fest pissed growing up ive pretty much always bottled emotions mostly cause dad kind person thought showing emotion weak manly thing do point bottle anyting else up blew top point sister stepped seperated us brother mom went back car drove around complex back apartment sister i hand walked back attempt calm down shaking hard even unlock phone time call dad stepdad let know happened saturday dad grandparents place from side domino night dad pretty shaken hearing sister said call cause fact family even noticed dad right rush moms apartment pick up told no point thinking watching siblings ampxb years probably since high school would get highs lows lows would always lower last higher highs harder crash lows graduated high school abhonor roll placed  like  gradutatesincluding ap dual enrollment students got accepted ucf bright futures scholarship covering  pell grand covering rest excess new bank account throughout time though especially lows always thought ending it tying rope slitting veinartery jumping headfirst roof house never guts it adds self loathing bitterness finished first semester college pretty well second semester issues started laptop which was time  years old pretty much dying everyting keep working replacing parts installing linux cause windows got corrupted etc eventually dad forced get job mostly spouse kept bitching adult working relaxing home weekends eventually got job waffle house fridaysunday try get money replace laptop one caveat give  month help bills groceries with keeping maybe like  end month food stuff eventually replaced laptop working school grades slipped enough to  gpa requirement financial aid got cut pell bright futures point know do couldnt tell dad spouse basically religious grades placed pedestal family life smart first one actually go college graduate my dad dropped out sibilngs never went college anyways tell lost financial aid time one point nd stepmom basically guilted keeping working talking car something saying basically helping bunch work getting much thats fine dad would work even harder even overtime keep bills such me people pleaser kind person cant help resisting ones need basically kept working ended keep working waffle house eventually went door choir waiter try earn money ended taking student loan try keep going class try get degree grades kept slipping especially math used one best subjects go detail lower level math courses university basically slave could prison nothing math  hours straight week requirement cant that math basically flip back forth things keep overwhelmed keep calm pretty much focus time eventually gave going all even though requirement kept working grades kept slipping semester semester lack sleep time try study homework main culprits keep working support household eventually went probation grades got low flunked following semester one knows this best friends closests friends family first time ive talked it ive going year half amost  now pretending still going college im afraid tell anyone im afraid trust anyone ended defaulting loans collectors ass one knows ive gotten good lying parents face cant even tell im lying believe im currently taking online classes albeit little little part time continuing studies im not today yesterday got ad letters mail different attourney offices mentioning apparently collectors filed lawsuit me im wits end know now doubt letters ive given paying loans good chunk money about rds make currently working home depot goes house incuding paying whole electricity bill groceries last third goes paying phone bill personal needs like food such ampxb earlier year got hit car crossing crosswalk walking work ended torn ligament shoulder lump head light damage occipital lobe brain even tosssed  feet collision dad town time picking nd stepmom airport dropped dad back home country called him called work called  went hospital given painkillers stuff told would fine rest ended making claim guy hit mes insurance help attourney got treatment needed sometimes though especially now wish collision killed me wish hang on strong willed live hospital moms side caught wind sister told manager hospital showed up dad hand told let anyone side know anyways im sitting er road rash lump head from could see time surrounded family started crying pain felt none shock felt bad making worry me deserve worry deserve love ive lying every one faces years none know sometimes want disappear vanish suddenly wake gone bad dream now writing this ive though go kitchen grab knife end prick grab bedsheets tie tight know wont im coward ideas drive drive left long ago go flow try cause least amount trouble time comes one miss notice time comes
ive fallen far im give trying get outwall text coming gotta get out ampxb growing feels like bad dream multiple divorces birth parents seeing sets constantly fight new spouses ive bad memories engrained since childhood guess first one ive personally experienced dad nd spouse one weekend moms house visitation my dad custody me everything normal brought back dads house only instead dad stepmom door greet me dad asked went dad said left store asked completely ignorant fighting would happen two around dad said no coming back took baby halfbrother left like time rd grade legit cried hours straight broke around time state mandated testing i classmate teacher mom called mom broke class time went continued strong school as time advanced honors classes occasional slip ups would lose motivation remembering past ampxb point high school mom spouse whom cheated dad still year old together since spouse like dad place got loud argument me half brother half sister side rush bedroom saw started arguing sister previously told arguing lot lately overheard talking getting divorce sorta ignored claims disbelief seeing two fighting brought memory day stepmom left immediately broke crying rage middle room two immediately stopped arguing seeing me calm best behaved child family suddenly burst out threw off really remember much that eventually got divorce mom moved apartment brother sister ill get back later ampxb half year year dad stepmom broke up dad met current spouse complex job time located kids own son autism week half younger me daughter months younger sister son month younger half brother dads side growing hell cause overprotected kids highly showed favortism towards them often getting trouble things did eventually mellowed saw things got line behaving with dads help anyways mom spouse got divorce dad current spouse started getting heated arguments resulted dad moving back twice span year two pretty much point complete wreck somehow still managing keep grades school two eventually came terms everything fine stable now ampxb back mom siblings apartment time relationship mom sister got pretty bad sister hit teenage years getting pretty rebellious and mom exactly mentally stable help found reason spouse broken basically cheating another lady mind you time sides family closed minded sort thing mom constantly going out leaving sister when visitation basically running apartment gone point either valentines day sisters birthday cant remember visitation mom sister locked room grandparents place bad mood divorce things mom sorta really naggy sister day tried stand her snap threaten me way back apartment old bad memories came broke car mom pulled took us park set apartment complex try talk us sat us seperately started talking us turn talking brother sister crying turned focused anger towards mom coming realization lot sadness happened life her got started walking complex back apartment mom saw came grabbed shoulder now ive never one fight cause problems always quiet one never really anything besides reading playing video games ive never fight moment grabbed me instinctively twisted arm got small fight nothing crazy grapple fest pissed growing up ive pretty much always bottled emotions mostly cause dad kind person thought showing emotion weak manly thing do point bottle anyting else up blew top point sister stepped seperated us brother mom went back car drove around complex back apartment sister i hand walked back attempt calm down shaking hard even unlock phone time call dad stepdad let know happened saturday dad grandparents place from side domino night dad pretty shaken hearing sister said call cause fact family even noticed dad right rush moms apartment pick up told no point thinking watching siblings ampxb years probably since high school would get highs lows lows would always lower last higher highs harder crash lows graduated high school abhonor roll placed like gradutatesincluding ap dual enrollment students got accepted ucf bright futures scholarship covering pell grand covering rest excess new bank account throughout time though especially lows always thought ending it tying rope slitting veinartery jumping headfirst roof house never guts it adds self loathing bitterness finished first semester college pretty well second semester issues started laptop which was time years old pretty much dying everyting keep working replacing parts installing linux cause windows got corrupted etc eventually dad forced get job mostly spouse kept bitching adult working relaxing home weekends eventually got job waffle house fridaysunday try get money replace laptop one caveat give month help bills groceries with keeping maybe like end month food stuff eventually replaced laptop working school grades slipped enough to gpa requirement financial aid got cut pell bright futures point know do couldnt tell dad spouse basically religious grades placed pedestal family life smart first one actually go college graduate my dad dropped out sibilngs never went college anyways tell lost financial aid time one point nd stepmom basically guilted keeping working talking car something saying basically helping bunch work getting much thats fine dad would work even harder even overtime keep bills such me people pleaser kind person cant help resisting ones need basically kept working ended keep working waffle house eventually went door choir waiter try earn money ended taking student loan try keep going class try get degree grades kept slipping especially math used one best subjects go detail lower level math courses university basically slave could prison nothing math hours straight week requirement cant that math basically flip back forth things keep overwhelmed keep calm pretty much focus time eventually gave going all even though requirement kept working grades kept slipping semester semester lack sleep time try study homework main culprits keep working support household eventually went probation grades got low flunked following semester one knows this best friends closests friends family first time ive talked it ive going year half amost now pretending still going college im afraid tell anyone im afraid trust anyone ended defaulting loans collectors ass one knows ive gotten good lying parents face cant even tell im lying believe im currently taking online classes albeit little little part time continuing studies im not today yesterday got ad letters mail different attourney offices mentioning apparently collectors filed lawsuit me im wits end know now doubt letters ive given paying loans good chunk money about rds make currently working home depot goes house incuding paying whole electricity bill groceries last third goes paying phone bill personal needs like food such ampxb earlier year got hit car crossing crosswalk walking work ended torn ligament shoulder lump head light damage occipital lobe brain even tosssed feet collision dad town time picking nd stepmom airport dropped dad back home country called him called work called went hospital given painkillers stuff told would fine rest ended making claim guy hit mes insurance help attourney got treatment needed sometimes though especially now wish collision killed me wish hang on strong willed live hospital moms side caught wind sister told manager hospital showed up dad hand told let anyone side know anyways im sitting er road rash lump head from could see time surrounded family started crying pain felt none shock felt bad making worry me deserve worry deserve love ive lying every one faces years none know sometimes want disappear vanish suddenly wake gone bad dream now writing this ive though go kitchen grab knife end prick grab bedsheets tie tight know wont im coward ideas drive drive left long ago go flow try cause least amount trouble time comes one miss notice time comes
ampxb crecer se siente como mal sueño múltiples divorcios padres de nacimiento ver conjuntos constantemente lucha nuevos cónyuges ive malos recuerdos arraigados desde la infancia conjetura primero uno live personalmente experimentado papá y cónyuge un fin de semana mamás casa visitación mi padre custodia me todo normal traído casa papá sólo en lugar papá madrastra puerta me saludó papá preguntó fue papá dijo izquierda tienda preguntó completamente ignorante peleas pasaría dos alrededor de papá dijo no volver tomó bebé medio hermano izquierda como tiempo rd grado legit lloró horas directamente roto alrededor tiempo estado mandato prueba i profesor mamá madre llamada mamá rompió tiempo de clase se fue fuerte escuela como tiempo avanzado clases de honor ocasionales deslices perdería motivación recordar más allá de ampxb punto mamá esposa de la escuela secundaria que engañaron papá todavía año viejo ya cónyuge como papá lugar me tienen fuerte discusión