need adviceapologies advance long ampxb so think need advice urgently ampxb planning commiting redflag today almost everything set ready go supposed final and important thing needed attempted became violently ill unable due severe lack sleep food passed seemed window opportunity closed ampxb im really bad shape mentally guess point physically suffer ptsdcptsd utterly consumed life almost every waking moment spiraling nightmare paranoia terror hate even saying that feel like liar feel vile pathetic way am bad cant keep going like this ampxb whats stopped killing fact affairs order even close do even im unable die now next spiral ill one last thing take care way cant even imagine getting there cant imagine getting walking room interacting roommates nothing different go work excuse missed today act nothing changed ampxb another thing im fight roommates speak were speaking were fighting something cant cant explain cant open im longer see react terrified literally reaction could possibly have want horrified sad want angry me anything im terrified past repeat theyll treat contempt scorn theyll tell im suffering none real im pathetic baby needs get it im terrified theyll angry tell felt way want tell them want find out ampxb leave me cant leave go settle final obstacle finally die cant get next morning go work interact nothing wrong dont know current physical state would allow that even cant bear tell roommates faces whats happening me call emergency services itll obviously leave roommates shocked confused without answers itll saddle hospital bill cannot pay poor uninsured fuck state lack medicaid expansion going hospital might make so much worse ive traumatized hospitalsnursesdoctors past last time hospitalized offered support kicked soon possible homeless money ampxb even know theres good advice me going sit utterly paralyzed until until even know thoughts anything im sorry long
need adviceapologies advance long ampxb so think need advice urgently ampxb planning commiting redflag today almost everything set ready go supposed final and important thing needed attempted became violently ill unable due severe lack sleep food passed seemed window opportunity closed ampxbim really bad shape mentally guess point physically suffer ptsdcptsd utterly consumed life almost every waking moment spiralingnightmare paranoia terror hate even saying that feel like liar feel vile pathetic way am bad cant keep going like this ampxb whats stopped killing fact affairs order even close do even im unable die now next spiral ill one last thing take care way cant even imagine getting there cant imagine getting walking room interacting roommates nothing different go work excuse missed today act nothing changed ampxb another thing im fight roommates speak were speaking were fighting something cant cant explaincant open im longer see react terrified literally reaction could possibly have want horrified sad want angry me anything im terrified past repeat theyll treat contempt scorn theyll tell im suffering none real im pathetic baby needs get it im terrified theyll angry tell felt way want tell them want find out ampxb leave me cant leave go settle final obstacle finally die cant get next morning go work interact nothing wrong dont know current physical state would allow that even cant bear tell roommates faces whats happening me call emergency services itll obviously leave roommates shocked confused without answers itll saddle hospital bill cannot pay poor uninsured fuck state lack medicaid expansion going hospital might make so much worse ive traumatized hospitalsnursesdoctors past last time hospitalized offered support kicked soon possible homeless money ampxb even know theres good advice me going sit utterly paralyzed until until even know thoughts anything im sorry long
Necesit consejo disculpas avanzar largo ampxb así que pensar necesidad consejo urgentemente ampxb planificación cometer redflag hoy casi todo listo ir supuesto final e importante cosa necesaria intento se convirtió violentamente incapaz debido grave falta de sueño alimentos pasados parecía ventana oportunidad cerrada ampxbim realmente mala forma mental conjetura punto físicamente sufrir ptsdcptsd totalmente consumida vida casi cada momento despierto nightmare paranoia terror odio incluso decir que se siente como mentiroso se siente vil patético manera de ser malo no puede seguir yendo como este ampxb lo que dejó de matar hechos orden incluso cerca no puede morir ahora próxima espiral enfermedad una última cosa tener cuidado manera no se puede imaginar llegar allí no se puede imaginar llegar a caminar habitación interactuando compañeros nada diferente ir trabajo excusa falta hoy acto nada cambió ampxb otra cosa im pelea compañeros de cuarto hablar hablaron estaban luchando estaban luchando algo no puede explicarse abierto im ver reaccion aterrorizado literalmente podría haber querido horrorizado triste querer cualquier cosa im miedo pasado repetir ellos tratar desprecio desprecio s les dicen im sufrimiento ninguno real im primo