really know anymore manok really got get out know anymore ive odds mother years bit backstory set mood this im prone bit nasty quick temper sometimes oddball mindset ive grown notion cant treat others respect deserve mine treat others want treated basically believe respect something earn others effort hard work cant force someone give manners something entirely different everyone those im yearold soon  still lives mother im unable drive due deathly fear driving ive literally ripped steering wheel hands try pushing car away someone driving carelessly got close car multiple times before suffer severe depression therapist believes ptsd from poor family environmentabusive parent since little involved major accident younger caused severe brain damage basically babyshaken syndrome years ive grown really bad headaches migraines well slightly forgetful mild seizures now theyre sporadic unpredictable nature theyll happen usually get auras mine occur an aura like forewarning theyre coming on extremely forgetful like tell something even three minutes later ill forget ask again rather slow minded well due although means stupid dropped school due bullying harassment id probably straight student way college thats life planned me although it unfortunately not basically ive caged chained mothers house regardless badly wish could leave free live life way want to heres thing though according mom shes idiot might add im allowed depressed ive never known shouldnt use word lightly im also apparently according her riding tailcoat crying everything a lazy stupid bitch thats never worked day life is nice want something asshole get it might add hate asking things cant get means usually ask it im kid thats always hated christmas birthdays like getting things people entire family mom sister father always money hungry assholes anything money even go far wish death parents get inheritance faster so never wanted like them hate garbage mindset have grew basically alone raised myself part mother never home the working member household divorce father mentally emotionally abusive sister always side everything whether fear hed things asshole herself honestly tell you grew special little mindset based observed others learned like people like none entitled bs slides me onto true matter here forgive post long honestly even know belongs point honestly ask someone else im confused done everything life now stage set here lets get onto main issue reason posting said before moms points follows im lazy slob im asshole im stupidretardedetc cannot depressed ptsd never abused means im liar everything think say matter everything wrong just excuse lazy theres nothing wrong me house isalwaysa mess disgusting honestly full dirt dust probably making health issues worse itsalwaysbeen way since divorce mother clean doanythingaround house well dirty dishes sink collecting mold month half shell clean them throws newspapers wherever hell feels like leaves becomes inconvenience her order pick she even ask demand cant even take trash bag garbage gets full yells piles overflowing onto floor andthenshe yells atmefor taking sooner it never gets full im one home rare occasion does take own regularly days take time effort vacuum clean rooms without asked to honestly got bad back december went month long trip country breathe homeand believe me felt like heaven clean could finally breathe house felt fresh light heavy air negativity house so extremely ill time set work three full weeks cleaning entire house top bottom sick tired disgusting realizing would chance enjoy clean house once came home anddidnt even tell thank you did started making mess immediately even though asked keep clean for sake animals started bitching old baby sitter an exfamily friend come helped clean gotten sick alone my seizures acting really badly time due stress anxiety alone long set designated area newspaper letters go respectively house end cluttered trash again ive going therapist almost full year now helps slightly visit her wonderful woman btw get see often enough therapy really help much see maybe month days time get see next time im right back started last time usually stressing badly crying bullets debate whether kill done bullshit fault end admit terrible memory often put cheese wrappers counter forget my older dog needs medication every day im focused getting eat pills needs forget quite often pick see remember pick garbage nearby see the gods know head attached id never find set down often left picking garbage well since shell accuse mine anyway make regardless often calls stupid dumbass things simply im forgetful slow minded honestly cannot help really wish could better efficient possible ever be theres problem around house ill try fix ill ask help neighbor knows dowhich pisses mother off let tell youapparently im liar often get squabbles she loves piss knows buttons push extremely short tempered irritable days due bullshit years days tend call bullshit attempt talk see anything make things better im wits end sick crap already eight years garbage alonenot mention six seven years dads mental emotional abuse thatso wanted inquire well abuse mother says itnever happened even though never home see and admit younger teacher actually called me without knowing time wanting commit suicide suicidal eight nine years old of course like proud withdrawn little shit was denied point gave asking help adults asked begged pleaded long time realized nobody cared better dealing alone huge mistake part go that onto matter now father abusive means mean used force watch tv him usually crime shows news breakinsmurderrapekidnappingsexual assultetc hence horrible anxiety alone without people around got walked away whatever watching admitted like it would get chase room getin faceandscreamat threaten beat shit it used pick young throw shoulder raise hand like going beat assjustto make cry made laugh id squirm scream cry even anything wrong deserve it hed take dogscatswhatever had drive throw middle desert die this constant dogs one dog had really loved she heart soul early childhood first selfownedpicked dog mine families got sick parvo demanded mother take vet put down it waste money let bash skull sludge hammer believe me fast painless death her im sure would slow cruel allowed thatwhich let bring quick note here mother always knew drunkard asshole hes hated since got car accident young told not waste money me take life support let die which life support btw surviving own even that came coma finally cleared come home told me said youre fucked play with laughed ran crying said would deny could possibly abusive anyway finish finally im sorry forgot anything major here apparently according mother seizures extreme fear driving its literally crippling really wish could live life normally like everyone else depression anxiety social detachment excuses lazy stay her believe me could live normally id miles away her id love nothing home yard grass flowers place animals ourselves clean home heavy air due negativity anger filling it paint walls whatever color wanted decorate home see fit so id love job im perfectionist nature as mother hell ever happened side her ill never know family trait feel worthless like fucking garbage waste space life rotting away due health issues ive mainly caused myself due years addiction soda that caused medication forced take meant i for doctor dumbass taking proper care depression feeling like nobody would ever love care me id want nothing feel successful happy hate sitting nothing never able anything go anywhere pushes buttons far often show bad side treats me could literally ask friends the have strangers ive helped past im really nice person love care everyone even people whove hurt badly screwed past still care people hope best lives im kind person yes bit fucked sense humor irritable generally im really kindhearted aside temper issues social problems im really nice hell even able think dying simply fact did would cats dogs end up theyd streets malnourished around parts ending roadkill taco meat thought hurts far anything deal mom people does would selfish cant them need so sokrates or socrates however prefer spell it would said remain bitter hateful towards hurt past likely hurt others way hurt you want hurt anyone hate anyone grudges worthless waste time world never get better people hold onto things like that want know asshole reacting badly mothers treatment me understand works tired probably puts lot shit always takes im tired it im getting mri done today see bad damage now seizures get worse tumors anything ill update eventually anyone cares it want know really asshole situation really excuses used think knew answers questions know anymore ive holding onto years honestly im starting realize bottling emotions problems fears keeping eventually kick bucket way go im actively suicidal passive i want to ill never act it least foreseeable future type thing really want know others think idea anymore
really know anymore manok really got get out knowanymore ive odds mother years bit backstory set mood thisim prone bit nasty quick temper sometimes oddball mindset ive grown notion cant treat others respect deserve mine treat others want treated basically believe respect something earn others effort hard work cant force someone give manners something entirely different everyone those im yearold soon still lives mother im unable drive due deathly fear driving ive literally ripped steering wheel hands try pushing car away someone driving carelessly got close car multiple times before suffer severe depression therapist believes ptsd from poor family environmentabusive parent since little involved major accident younger caused severe brain damage basically babyshaken syndrome years ive grown really bad headaches migraines well slightly forgetful mild seizures now theyre sporadic unpredictable nature theyll happen usually get auras mine occur an aura like forewarning theyre coming on extremely forgetful like tell something even three minutes later ill forget ask again rather slow minded well due although means stupid dropped school due bullying harassment id probably straight student way college thats life planned me although it unfortunately not basically ive caged chained mothers house regardless badly wish could leave free live life way want to heres thing though according mom shes idiot might add im allowed depressed ive never known shouldnt use word lightly im also apparently according her riding tailcoat crying everything a lazy stupid bitch thats never worked day life is nice want something asshole get it might add hate asking things cant get means usually ask it im kid thats always hated christmas birthdays like getting things people entire family mom sister father always money hungry assholes anything money even go far wish death parents get inheritance faster so never wanted like them hate garbage mindset have grew basically alone raised myself part mother never home the working member household divorce father mentally emotionally abusive sister always side everything whether fear hed things asshole herself honestly tell you grew special little mindset based observed others learned like people like none entitled bs slides me onto true matter here forgive post long honestly even know belongs point honestly ask someone else im confused done everything life now stage set here lets get onto main issue reason posting said before moms points follows im lazy slob im asshole im stupidretardedetc cannot depressed ptsd never abused means im liar everything think say matter everything wrong just excuse lazy theres nothing wrong me house isalwaysa mess disgusting honestly full dirt dust probably making health issues worse itsalwaysbeen way since divorce mother clean doanythingaround house well dirty dishes sink collecting mold month half shell clean them throws newspapers wherever hell feels like leaves becomes inconvenience her order pick she even ask demand cant even take trash bag garbage gets full yells piles overflowing onto floor andthenshe yells atmefor taking sooner it never gets full im one home rare occasion does take own regularly days take time effort vacuum clean rooms without asked to honestly got bad back december went month long trip country breathe homeand believe me felt like heaven clean could finally breathe house felt fresh light heavy air negativity house so extremely ill time set work three full weeks cleaning entire house top bottom sick tired disgusting realizing would chance enjoy clean house once came home anddidnt even tell thank you did started making mess immediately even though asked keep clean for sake animals started bitching old baby sitter an exfamily friend come helped clean gotten sick alone my seizures acting really badly time due stress anxiety alone long set designated area newspaper letters go respectively house end cluttered trash again ive going therapist almost full year now helps slightly visit her wonderful woman btw get see often enough therapy really help much see maybe month days time get see next time im right back started last time usually stressing badly crying bullets debate whether kill done bullshit fault end admit terrible memory often put cheese wrappers counter forget my older dog needs medication every day im focused getting eat pills needs forget quite often pick see remember pick garbage nearby see the gods know head attached id never find set down often left picking garbage well since shell accuse mine anyway make regardless often calls stupid dumbass things simply im forgetful slow minded honestly cannot help really wish could better efficient possible ever be theres problem around house ill try fix ill ask help neighbor knows dowhich pisses mother off let tell youapparently im liar often get squabbles she loves piss knows buttons push extremely short tempered irritable days due bullshit years days tend call bullshit attempt talk see anything make things better im wits end sick crap already eight years garbage alonenot mention six seven years dads mental emotional abuse thatso wanted inquire well abuse mother says itnever happened even though never home see and admit younger teacher actually called me without knowing time wanting commit suicide suicidal eight nine years old of course like proud withdrawn little shit was denied point gave asking help adults asked begged pleaded long time realized nobody cared better dealing alone huge mistake part go that onto matter now father abusive means mean used force watch tv him usually crime shows news breakinsmurderrapekidnappingsexual assultetc hence horrible anxiety alone without people around got walked away whatever watching admitted like it would get chase room getin faceandscreamat threaten beat shit it used pick young throw shoulder raise hand like going beat assjustto make cry made laugh id squirm scream cry even anything wrong deserve it hed take dogscatswhatever had drive throw middle desert die this constant dogs one dog had really loved she heart soul early childhood first selfownedpicked dog mine families got sick parvo demanded mother take vet put down it waste money let bash skull sludge hammer believe me fast painless death herim sure would slow cruel allowed thatwhich let bring quick note here mother always knew drunkard asshole hes hated since got car accident young told not waste money me take life support let die which life support btw surviving own even that came coma finally cleared come home told me said youre fucked play with laughed ran crying said would deny could possibly abusiveanyway finish finally imsorry forgot anything major here apparently according mother seizures extreme fear driving its literally crippling really wish could live life normally like everyone else depression anxiety social detachment excuses lazy stay her believe me could live normally id miles away her id love nothing home yard grass flowers place animals ourselves clean home heavy air due negativity anger filling it paint walls whatever color wanteddecorate home see fit so id love job im perfectionist nature as mother hell ever happened side her ill never know family trait feel worthless like fucking garbage waste space life rotting away due health issues ive mainly caused myself due years addiction soda that caused medication forced take meant i for doctor dumbass taking proper care depression feeling like nobody would ever love care meid want nothing feel successful happy hate sitting nothing never able anything go anywhere pushes buttons far often show bad side treats me could literally ask friends the have strangers ive helped past im really nice person love care everyone even people whove hurt badly screwed past still care people hope best lives im kind person yes bit fucked sense humor irritable generally im really kindhearted aside temper issues social problems im really nice hell even able think dying simply fact did would cats dogs end up theyd streets malnourished around parts ending roadkill taco meat thought hurts far anything deal mom people does would selfish cant them need so sokrates or socrates however prefer spell it would said remain bitter hateful towards hurt past likely hurt others way hurt you want hurt anyone hate anyone grudges worthless waste time world never get better people hold onto things like that want know asshole reacting badly mothers treatment me understand works tired probably puts lot shit always takes im tiredit im getting mri done today see bad damage now seizures get worse tumors anything ill update eventually anyone cares it want know really asshole situation really excuses used think knew answers questions know anymore ive holding onto years honestly im starting realize bottling emotions problems fears keeping eventually kick bucket way go im actively suicidal passive i want to ill never act it least foreseeable future type thing really want know others think idea anymore
realmente saber más manok realmente conseguir salir saber más probabilidades de vida madre años bit backstory set mood thisim propenso poco desagradable rápido temperamento a veces rareza mentalidad ive adulto noción no puede tratar a otros respeto merece el mío tratar a otros quieren tratar básicamente creer respeto algo ganar otros esfuerzo trabajo duro no puede obligar a alguien dar modales algo completamente diferente todos esos im