story almost killed myselfokay really long im sorry that considering redflag please please please favor read this might help all might make difference world tldr version tried commit redflag with pills stopped taking several ended worst darkest experience life regretted stopping since happened life still great know redflag answer story bit background me labeled loner wrong so kid quiet everyone asked why led believe somehow broken social were selfesteem nearly nonexistent teenager thought ugly friends used convenience struggled sexuality lot guilt laid religious environment grew up social anxiety grew worse began withdraw cave bedroom isolated friends family alike job going college rarely attended church around people made uncomfortable angry that social friendly then couple months ago started listening rotten voice head told worthless said life meaningless reason live told everyone would better without bother staying one really cared right pretend to love to believed it slid hill faster faster nearing bottomless pit despair planning redflag weeks best way method would least painful want create mess want find body horrific manner want mess end screwing body live forever idea appealed sleeping pills gathered much could took several nights laid hundreds pills never gall it then one night much life reached point meant nothing all brought pills laid me started downing two three time got twenty stopped realized what doing panicked seriously going end life last moments earth would spent alone darkened cave hopeless lost miserable pain no want that go it tried throw pills work take long pills hit me cant really remember happened did ended falling asleep vaguely remember horrifying snippets night waking flailing demonic presences attacking or felt like me woke morning could barely walk stumbled bathroom saw still remember sinister looked pupils huge face looked evil worst feeling ive ever had went told parents id tried night called ambulance got hospital recovered quickly family best make much fuss it am still alive glad it life still hard me trials shared im comfortable so survived attempt mean suddenly find life peachy brilliant still days hate still loathe times im still alive still get laugh read good books listen rain still get gorge chocolate pizza sleep listen favorite songs again im still struggling find purpose doubt ill find keep looking believe were miserable found purpose life us feel deeply others results depression becoming suicidal please surrender please hold little longer
story almost killed myselfokay really longim sorry that considering redflag please please please favor read this might help all might make difference world tldr version tried commit redflag with pills stopped taking several ended worst darkest experience life regretted stopping since happened life still great know redflag answer story bit background me labeled loner wrong so kid quiet everyone asked why led believe somehow broken social were selfesteem nearly nonexistent teenager thought ugly friends used convenience struggled sexuality lot guilt laid religious environment grew up social anxiety grew worse began withdraw cave bedroom isolated friends family alike job going college rarely attended church around people made uncomfortable angry that social friendly then couple months ago started listening rotten voice head told worthless said life meaningless reason live told everyone would better without bother staying one really cared right pretend to love to believed it slid hill faster faster nearing bottomless pit despair planning redflag weeks best way method would least painful want create mess want find body horrific manner want mess end screwing body live forever idea appealed sleeping pills gathered much could took several nights laid hundreds pills never gall it then one night much life reached point meant nothing all brought pills laid me started downing two three time got twenty stopped realized what doing panicked seriously going end life last moments earth would spent alone darkened cave hopeless lost miserable pain no want that go it tried throw pills work take long pills hit me cant really remember happened did ended falling asleep vaguely remember horrifying snippets night waking flailing demonic presences attacking or felt like me woke morning could barely walk stumbled bathroom saw still remember sinister looked pupils huge face looked evil worst feeling ive ever had went told parents id tried night called ambulance got hospital recovered quickly family best make much fuss it am still alive glad it life still hard me trials shared im comfortable so survived attempt mean suddenly find life peachy brilliant still days hate still loathe times im still alive still get laugh read good books listen rain still get gorge chocolate pizza sleep listen favorite songs again im still struggling find purpose doubt ill find keep looking believe were miserable found purpose life us feel deeply others results depression becoming suicidal please surrender please hold little longer
historia casi me mató a mí mismo okay realmente longim lo siento que teniendo en cuenta Redflag por favor favor favor favor de leer esto podría ayudar a todos podría hacer la diferencia versión Tldr tratado cometer Redflag con píldoras dejó de tomar varios final peor experiencia más oscura la vida se arrepintió parar ya que sucedió vida todavía gran saber redflag respuesta historia poco fondo me etiquetado solitario mal así niño tranquilo todo el mundo preguntó por qué led creen de alguna manera roto social eran autoestima adolescente casi inexistente pensamiento amigos feos uso conveniencia luchaba sexualidad lote culpa ambiente religioso creció ansiedad social creció peor comenzó retirar cueva dormitorio amigos aislados familia igual trabajo ir a la universidad rara vez asistió a la iglesia alrededor de la gente se enfadó incómodo social amistoso entonces hace un par de meses comenzó escuchar voz podrida cabeza dijo inútil dijo la vida sin sentido razón en vivo dijo a todos mejor sin molestarse en quedarse uno realmente cuidado derecho pretender amar creer que se desliza colina más rápido cerca de pie sin fondo desesperación planificación Redflag semanas mejor manera