help feel depressed suicidal know whylet begin first episode depression ended night put gun mouth almost committed redflag depression caused bottling feelings years years end ex every suicidal thought parents arrested almost abandoned etc im usually good keeping things control lost control almost committed redflag it thing stopped thought would happen mom shes one life stuck me even jail love much night would get occasional suicidal thought stare nearest window wanting run jump nothing handle freshman year high school im  sophomore top class all advanced classes eligible college programs good friends support me im part band school thats friends come from like second family loving girlfriend cares lot she knows time tried committing redflag life used be recently though suicidal thoughts flooding head seem stop want tell mom would devastate she know first time want tell friends able help me want tell girlfriend yet think shell able handle would hurt way know try help cant ive come im scared thoughts feel trapped inside myself im sorry weird ive never done want help someone talk to thank anything think would help
help feel depressed suicidal know whylet begin first episode depression ended night put gun mouth almost committed redflag depression caused bottling feelings years years end ex every suicidal thought parents arrested almost abandoned etc im usually good keeping things control lost control almost committed redflag it thing stopped thought would happen momshes one life stuck me even jail love much night would get occasional suicidal thought stare nearest window wanting run jump nothing handle freshman year high schoolim sophomore top class all advanced classes eligible college programs good friends support me im part band school thats friends come from like second family loving girlfriend cares lot she knows time tried committing redflag life used be recently though suicidal thoughts flooding head seem stop want tell mom would devastate she know first time want tell friends able help me want tell girlfriend yet think shell able handle would hurt way know try help cant ive come im scared thoughts feel trapped inside myselfim sorryweird ive never done want help someone talk to thank anything think would help
ayudar a sentirse deprimido suicida saber por qué empezar primer episodio depresión terminó noche poner boca pistola casi cometido rojoflag depresión causado embotellamiento sentimientos años finales ex cada pensamiento suicida padres arrestados casi abandonado etc im generalmente bueno mantener las cosas control perdido control casi cometido rojoflag cosa dejó de pensar que pasaría mamás una vida me golpeó incluso cárcel amor mucho noche conseguiría ocasional pensamiento suicida mirada ventana más cercana querer correr salto nada manejar primer año secundaria secundariaim segundo año clase superior todas las clases avanzadas programas universitarios elegibles buenos amigos apoyarme im parte banda escuela que amigos vienen de como segunda familia cariñosa novia se preocupa mucho ella sabe tiempo intentó cometer Redflag vida utilizado ser recientemente aunque pensamientos suicidas inundación cabeza parece stop querer decirle mamá devastaría saber primera vez quiere decirle a los amigos capaz de ayudar a decirle a novia y sin embargo pensar concha capaz de manejar daño manera saber tratar de ayudar no puede vivir im pensamientos asustados sentirse atrapado dentro de mí mismoim lo siento