want get help dont want make things worsetw trauma abuse neglect sh etc first part context feel free skip may important parts so living mom roommatewho obviously lot closer roommate loved torment me brainwashed manipulated mom believing would destroy life would tell he her daughter could live happily picture convinced im useless great job left alone home entire summer returning brief hour drop necessities returning back him point drop food literally nothing eat survived water tea moved month that september  really big fight broke thats first time ever told considering redflag called police hospitalized discharged went live aunt months later went live friend februaryish  back mom roommate time leading hospitalized another  times constant torment lots isolation relapsed old habits staying night sleeping day could avoid see himor her matter started self harming suicidal ideation got worse around everything horrible one night may three us really bad fight dont remember events leading it remember put chokehold kicked shoved onto tile floor head hitting first called police restraining order placed cps got involved thats found abuse neglect moms side removed care placed one aunts barely month hospitalized aunt thought mustve devils son self harming suicidal that went live dads best friendmy exstepmotherfor sake simplicity ill call anne here alright heres now ive annes care since june things gone relatively well ive still dealing depression anxiety suicidal ideation sh whole time felt comfortable opening while last time attempted redflag told pissed called selfish stupid ungrateful etc yelled time let go sleep felt like shit felt worse ever since relationship damaged im scared opening every time since ive told things im bothered ends lecture fight argument lately ive feeling lot suicidal usual much hard even think life without wanting stop existing gotten really bad know need tell someone im scared breaking point finds im still suicidal even tell her shell find im hospitalized someone tells it know exactly would happen likely pictures mind could say im much kick like everyone else could completely revoke privacy have andor trust would damaged ruined bond may had first outcome happens ill completely lost know ill living next two would really stressful deal helpful either way wish could tell whats happening wish would respond way would end well everyone id fine take hospital fact think would best issue worked past probably let happen reason worked past take seriously accept help getting feel like im contradicting making everything much worse wish like that feel really stuck right know go here help appreciated im sorry long post delete allowed
want get help dont want make things worsetw trauma abuse neglect sh etc first part context feel free skip may important parts so living mom roommatewho obviously lot closer roommate loved torment me brainwashed manipulated mom believing would destroy life would tell he her daughter could live happily picture convinced im useless great job left alone home entire summer returning brief hour drop necessities returning back him point drop food literally nothing eat survived water tea moved month that september really big fight broke thats first time ever told considering redflagcalled police hospitalized discharged went live aunt months later went live friend februaryish back mom roommate time leading hospitalized another times constant torment lots isolation relapsed old habits staying night sleeping day could avoid see himor her matter started self harming suicidal ideation got worse around everything horrible one night may three us really bad fight dont remember events leading it remember put chokehold kicked shoved onto tile floor head hitting first called police restraining order placed cps got involved thats found abuse neglect moms side removed care placed one aunts barely month hospitalized aunt thought mustve devils son self harming suicidal that went live dads best friendmy exstepmotherfor sake simplicity ill call anne here alright heres now ive annes care since june things gone relatively well ive still dealing depression anxiety suicidal ideation sh whole time felt comfortable opening while last time attempted redflag told pissed called selfish stupid ungrateful etc yelled time let go sleep felt like shit felt worse ever since relationship damaged im scared opening every time since ive told things im bothered ends lecture fight argument lately ive feeling lot suicidal usual much hard even think life without wanting stop existing gotten really bad know need tell someone im scared breaking point finds im still suicidal even tell her shell find im hospitalized someone tells it know exactly would happen likely pictures mind could say im much kick like everyone else could completely revoke privacy have andor trust would damaged ruined bond may had first outcome happens ill completely lost know ill living next two would really stressful deal helpful either way wish could tell whats happening wish would respond way would end well everyone id fine take hospital fact think would best issue worked past probably let happen reason worked past take seriously accept help getting feel like im contradicting making everything much worse wish like that feel really stuck right know go here help appreciated im sorry long post delete allowed
Quiero conseguir ayuda no quiero hacer las cosas peor que trauma abuso negligencia sh etc primera parte contexto se siente libre saltar partes importantes tan vivo mamá compañero de cuarto que obviamente mucho más compañero de cuarto amaba tormento me lavado de cerebro mamá manipulada creer que destruir la vida le diría que su hija podría vivir feliz foto convencido im inútil gran trabajo dejado solo casa todo verano volver breve hora gota necesidades volver a él punto gota comida literalmente nada comer agua se movió mes que septiembre realmente gran lucha se rompió que la primera vez que se dijo considerando rojo Flag llamada policía hospitalizada dado de alta fue vivo tía meses después se fue en vivo amigo februario volver compañero de cuarto tiempo llevar hospitalizado otros tiempos tormento constante lotes aislamiento viejos hábitos que permanecen noche dormir día podría evitar ver él o su asunto comenzó auto daño idea suicida se puso peor alrededor de todo horrible una noche puede tres nosotros realmente mala lucha no recuerdo eventos que le llevaron a cabo estrangulamiento