life trust connection fucked upi live alone spent  time alone since beginning covid ive ruined first relationship ive ever ive felt safe genuine ways keep fucking every time less safety less trust time dont know repair more moods point im completely apathetic catatonic like get up sit one place day lose time also aware horrifically dragged single minute is get stoned minds racing go bed again dont speak anybody dont hear anyone know point im thought people im almost waiting sign permission ok make decision thing keeping going making very gory emotionally uncomfortable art stuff intense enough cause loved one cry it close dont really see aspect true feelings more intense people love you dont want burden more relapsed opiate addiction midst bullshit kept hidden long could kept keeping dirty junkie secrets like always fucking used to even dont understand obviously wanted sabotage life badly recent months ive fucking clean  days much even looking heroin whole time ive even tried sneakily source case one off ive taken form opiate ive sober exception weed feel better it everybody life treats something not using heroin partner told dont trust me nature relationship vague think dont like even thought person more feel completely utterly unheard unseen point due constantly spiralling ways existing expressing others dont find appropriate makes uncomfortable im aware reality so like now feel like truly end want hear reasonable way think feel fucking nuts cant tell anybody im close to im going jump local viaduct m high fucked
life trust connection fucked upi live alone spent time alone since beginning covid ive ruined first relationship ive ever ive felt safe genuine ways keep fucking every time less safety less trust time dont know repair more moods point im completely apathetic catatonic like get up sit one place day lose time also aware horrifically dragged single minute is get stoned minds racing go bed again dont speak anybody dont hear anyone know point im thought people im almost waiting sign permission ok make decision thing keeping going making very gory emotionally uncomfortable art stuff intense enough cause loved one cry it close dont really see aspect true feelings more intense people love you dont want burden more relapsed opiate addiction midst bullshit kept hidden long could kept keeping dirty junkie secrets like always fucking used to even dont understand obviously wanted sabotage life badly recent months ive fucking clean days much even looking heroin whole time ive even tried sneakily source case one off ive taken form opiate ive sober exception weed feel better it everybody life treats something not using heroin partner told dont trust me nature relationship vague think dont like even thought person more feel completely utterly unheard unseen point due constantly spiralling ways existing expressing others dont find appropriate makes uncomfortable im aware reality so like now feel like truly end want hear reasonable way think feel fucking nuts cant tell anybody im close to im going jump local viaduct m high fucked
vida confianza conexión jodido upi vivir solo tiempo pasado solo desde el comienzo covid ive arruinado primera relación live siempre se siente seguro maneras genuinas mantener follar cada vez menos seguridad menos confianza tiempo no sé reparar más estados de ánimos punto im completamente apático catatónico como levantarse sentarse un día perder tiempo también consciente horriblemente arrastrado un minuto es conseguir drogado mentes carreras ir a la cama de nuevo no hablar nadie no escuchar a nadie saber punto