know doive suicidal six years want hurt family even made attempt ive come close several times first complicated plan drown two failsafes sure later considered finding something tall enough jump from think ever comes ill take belt hang myself anywhere scares easy would be im afraid die want hurt people really wanted kill typing out still worry eventually ill exceptionally bad day decide last reasons kill myself i almost  years old living mother get along well im sure point want independent move out feel like burden i serious issues anxiety kept comfortable around people entire life deeply introverted shy could figure hermits afford food house might problems i selfdiagnosed aspergers syndromeautism spectrum disorder and ashamed considered faker official diagnosis almost cried realized possess nearly traits associated asd understand greater detail make life much easier i job car quit college social demands giving panic attacks its know know well ive never good knowing people would like job cant find one give panic attacks good introvertjobs replaced machines ive considered volunteering feel like im burden society cant even muster strength go school supposed help people cant even breathe im surrounded strangers my one passion something cant make living with make music music love fringe people consider music like kind music gets labelled pretentious not music write pop song tried would hate myself popular music awful me theres small niche kind music small unless radio starts playing avantgarde noise passion hobby i feel like world hostile people like me im normal yes ive heard every possible variation idea theres thing normal thats lie world accommodating people average money sex love adventure none things appeal me like pop culture sports cant really relate anyone wants desires alien everyone meet im weak thats boils to im simply weak world scares idea navigate it want functioning independent adult every attempt ive made leaves depressed anxious suicidal guess see doctor last thing want financially burden mother further course im sure shed rather dead thank reading
know doive suicidal six years want hurt family even made attempt ive come close several times first complicated plan drown two failsafes sure later considered finding something tall enough jump from think ever comes ill take belt hang myself anywhere scares easy would be im afraid die want hurt people really wanted kill typing out still worry eventually ill exceptionally bad day decide last reasons kill myself i almost years old living mother get alongwell im sure point want independent move out feel like burden i serious issues anxiety kept comfortable around people entire life deeply introverted shy could figure hermits afford food house might problems i selfdiagnosed aspergers syndromeautism spectrum disorder and ashamed considered faker official diagnosis almost cried realized possess nearly traits associated asd understand greater detail make life much easier i job car quit college social demands giving panic attacks its know know well ive never good knowing people would like job cant find one give panic attacks good introvertjobs replaced machines ive considered volunteering feel like im burden society cant even muster strength go school supposed help people cant even breathe im surrounded strangers my one passion something cant make living with make music music love fringe people consider music like kind music gets labelled pretentious not music write pop song tried would hate myself popular music awful me theres small niche kind music small unless radio starts playing avantgarde noise passionhobby i feel like world hostile people like me im normalyes ive heard every possible variation idea theres thing normal thats lie world accommodating people average money sex love adventure none things appeal me like pop culture sports cant really relate anyone wants desires alien everyone meet im weak thats boils to im simply weak world scares idea navigate it want functioning independent adult every attempt ive made leaves depressed anxious suicidal guess see doctor last thing want financially burden mother further course im sure shed rather dead thankreading
know doive suicida seis años quieren lastimar a la familia incluso intento hecho ive venir cerca varias veces primer plan complicado ahogar dos seguros de fallas seguro más tarde considerado encontrar algo alto salto de pensar nunca viene mal take cinturón colgarme en cualquier lugar miedo fácil sería im morir querer herir a la gente realmente quería matar escribir fuera todavía preocupación eventualmente mal excepcionalmente mal día decidir las últimas razones matarme i casi años de edad madre viva get lookwell im seguro punto quiero independiente moverme sentir como carga i graves problemas ansiedad mantenido cómodo alrededor de la gente toda la vida profundamente introvertido tímido podría imaginar ermitaños pagar comida casa podría problemas I autodiagnosticed aspergers syndromeautism espectro desorden y avergonzado considerado falso diagnóstico oficial casi llorado realizado poseer casi rasgos asociados asd entender mayor detalle hacer la vida mucho más fácil i trabajo coche dejar de la universidad demandas sociales ataques de pánico su conocimiento