dont really wanna live past next birthdaymy birthday coming months ill turning  every birthday depressing supposed die years ago nobody even cares im still anyways fact birthday literally ignored throughout whole life ive one decent birthday bittersweet memory lies anyways ive basically given life dont really see future me future envisioned years came crashing destroyed sense reality im also stuck right now parents basically holding hostage feel like loser failure lie people question ride bus dont job still live parents like im lazy stupid dont even know would first thing come mind things cars expensive housing state horrendously high actually problems parents psychotic easier explain ride bus save money gas say im living get enough money apartment fact job once car once apartment too lost things mental illness fucking stupid idiot im stuck parents wont let get job car mental help rather stay suffer homeless again ik im weak rather die point plus ive winging awhile planned dying years ago ever since failed first time future planned bf refer abusive ex severely damaged me lot people severely damaged me wheres punishment wheres damage ive tried think it feel fucking angry it guess caring stupid again also feel like reason killing time stupid last time killed myself ex abused shit felt worthless im scared life people everyday fine cant fucking normal im pathetic
dont really wanna live past next birthdaymy birthday coming months ill turning every birthday depressing supposed die years ago nobody even cares im still anyways fact birthday literally ignored throughout whole life ive one decent birthday bittersweet memory lies anyways ive basically given life dont really see future me future envisioned years came crashing destroyed sense reality im also stuck right now parents basically holding hostage feel like loser failure lie people question ride bus dont job still live parents like im lazy stupid dont even know would first thing come mind things cars expensive housing state horrendously high actually problems parents psychotic easier explain ride bus save money gas say im living get enough money apartment fact job once car once apartment too lost things mental illnessfucking stupid idiot im stuck parents wont let get job car mental help rather stay suffer homeless again ik im weak rather die point plus ive winging awhile planned dying years ago ever since failed first time future planned bf refer abusive ex severely damaged me lot people severely damaged me wheres punishment wheres damage ive tried think it feel fucking angry it guess caring stupid again also feel like reason killing time stupid last time killed myself ex abused shit felt worthless im scared life people everyday fine cant fucking normal im pathetic
En realidad no quiero vivir más allá del próximo cumpleaños mi cumpleaños viene meses mal vuelta cada cumpleaños deprimente supuesto morir años hace nadie me importa todavía de todos modos hecho cumpleaños literalmente ignorado a lo largo de toda la vida ive un cumpleaños decente memoria agridulce mentiras de todos modos ive básicamente dado la vida realmente no ven futuro me futuro años imaginados venir estrellarse sentido realidad im también atascado ahora padres básicamente tener rehenes se siente como perdedor fracaso personas pregunta viaje autobús no trabajo todavía vivir padres como im perezoso estúpido ni siquiera saben lo primero viene mente cosas coches caros vivienda estado horriblemente alto en realidad problemas padres psicóticos más fácil explicar viaje autobús ahorrar dinero gas decir im vivir conseguir suficiente dinero apartamento hecho trabajo una vez que el coche una vez perdido cosas mental enfermedad maldito idiota im padres atascados no dejar de conseguir trabajo coche ayuda mental lugar sufrir sin hogar de nuevo ik