im much pain im exhausted im ready go nowmy name reuben bell im  years old less hour ago pointed air rifle head pulled trigger gun jammed tried  times useless thing didnt work wound punching stupid thing fell apart went fighting least piece lead leg funny fires try destroy needed didnt work all dont know im writing this dont know anything anymore life series sleepless agony followed short hours sleep cycle continues dont even know describe feel daily basis im constantly hurting im also exhausted struggle feel anything all doesnt make sense painfully real me many regrets im haunted friendships lost didnt pick phone send one message time thought could normal might actually happy lost entirely actions again again im here hate every part me im bisexual disgusts me dont even know why problem gay people bi people whatever feels wrong dad says unnatural constantly hear people say sexuality real cant exist people believe this fuck you bottom heart hope suffer much have truly deserve it despite failing today know one day take life wont long now  pence name  days ill evicted rent doesnt come through tried make effort look jobs applied hundreds received rejection letters silence all cant hope anymore dont want to would lead short relief followed even pain im sympathy help ive made decision want need always hear things like think family youre alone know family is family memory abusive mother still lives mind matter far away move woman leveraged first redflag attempt death father try bring back control family father spent  life another country girlfriend trying keep brother away first monster married right abandoned her leaving take emotions brought yes take life think family alone ive giving thought want coming days go id like good nights sleep id like hot meal duvet isnt tatters id also love go walk rain one time anything really wish could get hug still air pistol know enough shots head chest kill me didnt see option would hurt much id black quit shooting self leg today ive realised take pain ill load painkillers drink good scotch lock door throw key window turn rain sounds tv get with might suck little wont feel ever worth it know im words page guys want something help actually help people life right going early stages went through still helped help them comments reddit wont save life someone could maybe use friendly chat right might lockdown even important please please help someone needs it someone still helped ive accepted ill die alone really dont want others following me thank reading
im much pain im exhausted im ready go nowmy name reuben bell im years old less hour ago pointed air rifle head pulled trigger gun jammed tried times useless thing didnt work wound punching stupid thing fell apart went fighting least piece lead leg funny fires try destroy needed didnt work all dont know im writing this dont know anything anymore life series sleepless agony followed short hours sleep cycle continues dont even know describe feel daily basis im constantly hurting im also exhausted struggle feel anything all doesnt make sense painfully real me many regrets im haunted friendships lost didnt pick phone send one message time thought could normal might actually happy lost entirely actions again again im here hate every part me im bisexual disgusts me dont even know why problem gay people bi people whatever feels wrong dad says unnatural constantly hear people say sexuality real cant exist people believe this fuck you bottom heart hope suffer much have truly deserve it despite failing today know one day take life wont long now pence name days ill evicted rent doesnt come through tried make effort look jobs applied hundreds received rejection letters silence all cant hope anymore dont want to would lead short relief followed even pain im sympathy help ive made decision want need always hear things like think family youre alone know family is family memory abusive mother still lives mind matter far away move woman leveraged first redflag attempt death father try bring back control family father spent life another country girlfriend trying keep brother away first monster married right abandoned her leaving take emotions brought yes take life think family alone ive giving thought want coming days go id like good nights sleep id like hot meal duvet isnt tatters id also love go walk rain one time anything really wish could get hug still air pistol know enough shots head chest kill me didnt see option would hurt much id black quit shooting self leg today ive realised take pain ill load painkillers drink good scotch lock door throw key window turn rain sounds tv get with might suck little wont feel ever worth it know im words page guys want something help actually help people life right going early stages went through still helped help them comments reddit wont save life someone could maybe use friendly chat right might lockdown even important please please help someone needs it someone still helped ive accepted ill die alone really dont want others following me thank reading
Im mucho dolor im agotado im listo ir ahora mi nombre reuben campana im años de edad menos hace hora puntiagudo rifle de aire cabeza jalada gatillo pistola atascada tiempos inútiles cosa no funciona herida puñetazo estúpido cosa se cayó a pedazos fue luchando menos pieza led led gracioso fuegos intento destruir necesario no funciona todo no sé i escribir esto no sé nada más vida serie sin sueño agonía seguida horas cortas ciclo de sueño continúa ni siquiera sé describir sentir base diaria im constantemente dolido im también agotado lucha sentir nada todo no tiene sentido dolorosamente real me muchos pesares im amistades perdidas no recoger teléfono enviar un mensaje pensamiento normal podría realmente feliz perdido completamente acciones otra vez im aquí odio cada parte me