today imagined commit redflag new year nightmy life may look perfect you im  years old working tech industry top tier company good salary recently promoted know find new better job day want to recently bought expensive condo downtown enough savings solve notanticipated financial problems living foreign country relatives thousands miles away one friend never girlfriend loneliness destroyed mentally inside last year im suffering deep depression derealization receiving treatment last  months working  different psychiatrists tried bunch different medications without signs improvement suicidal thoughts seemed manageable bother lot rather curiosity couple weeks ago told friend joke nothing changes  months by new year ill figure something meaning maybe moving country but internally also thought redflag tonight feeling significantly worse ever figured wont get better ny thought end it imagination went upstairs rooftop stepped rail thought im doing spread hands like bird closed eyes stepped forward imagined seconds ill falling everything end reviewed situation ever ever again thought nobody see me happens someone try stop me felt real scary got tachycardia feeling lump throat trouble breathing never scared life even experience ny getting closer closer dont anticipate solution problem want end like dont want keep going tried calm down went walk outside come back office tried get touch friend seems busy tonight pm im afraid go home
today imagined commit redflag new year nightmy life may look perfect you im years old working tech industry top tier company good salary recently promoted know find new better job day want to recently bought expensive condo downtown enough savings solve notanticipated financial problems living foreign country relatives thousands miles away one friend never girlfriend loneliness destroyed mentally inside last year im suffering deep depression derealization receiving treatment last months working different psychiatrists tried bunch different medications without signs improvement suicidal thoughts seemed manageable bother lot rather curiosity couple weeks ago told friend joke nothing changes months by new year ill figure something meaning maybe moving country but internally also thought redflag tonight feeling significantly worse ever figured wont get better ny thought end it imagination went upstairs rooftop stepped rail thought im doing spread hands like bird closed eyes stepped forward imagined seconds ill falling everything end reviewed situation ever ever again thought nobody see me happens someone try stop me felt real scary got tachycardia feeling lump throat trouble breathing never scared life even experience ny getting closer closer dont anticipate solution problem want end like dont want keep going tried calm down went walk outside come back office tried get touch friend seems busy tonight pm im afraid go home
hoy imaginaron cometer año nuevo noche mi vida puede parecer perfecta