life rant secretsi born late september far remember ive sick born family strong history mental illness moms side sick dads sick storys paranoid anxious behavior day born would scream chairs left pushed table could even comprehend anything would cry night time  form change feared anything scared admit it would nightmares freak accidents  learned family could die left content fear safety around me  started notice bullying never weight grew self hatred ate others food brought comfort nothing else could also began developing crush girl im female knowing nothing heterosexuality convinced disgusting dad opinionated homophobic got tablet free internet range  became informed sexuality internet  friends year one girl year older one night sleep over ended experimenting witch far young so still bullied students found happened her bullied severely developed acne every one else led bullying spent recess year hole back fence away every one else school grades declined   years old grades became worse hated self body severely thought cutting fat body kitchen scissors yet diagnosed mental illnesses sky rockets severity grades work ethic time low met another girl thing happened previously happened year also like boys timei thought death lot bullied got called fat ugly got called gay mocked grades even teachers cut first time began skipping lunch gained weight due binge eating  years old grades s freinds developed self harm addiction cut self chance got continued gain weight would starve week time binge eat weighed self  times day cried ate bullied gym began working got home school every day  hours binge eat started experimenting prescription drugs tried slitting wrist overdosing summer tried getting clean self harm several relapses severely suicidal  weeks th grade school counselor hospitalized im hospital groomed molested almost  year old boy groomed sex  year old girl  days discharging hospital relapsed get stitches hospitalized hospital visit sent residential hated it  days later birth day there dog diedim shit personfor real like really shity staff patients really hated me deserved it kept breakdowns stupid shit grew attached staff even though hated me guess felt cared for started fear going home i still sick scared would happen left binge habits flourished managed sneak razor blades diazepam pass lasted month mutilated chest instead showering talked fucking walls snuck meds pass planed od changed mind asking float nurse questions meds realised probably would found out suffered lot pain died would really long painfully watched meds desolve toilet like  morning treid restrict instead bingeing staff caught on stopped ended bingeing end tried hinting past ed s substance abuse really want time kinda sucked it one believed me remember wondering could find journal documenting it guess mom trashed it began attention seeking therapist got discharged thinks may cause know ask help decided enough brought prescription diazepam razors pass used help last month got discharged discharged ish months night tried oding old prozac got sick continued mutilate thighs abuse harder substances remember summer spent like  days tweaked out bingeing got worse got comments weight gain school mates started new school turned  rumor spread smoked pot school bathroom never smoked weed school people knew smoked every day schoolat creek lost it mutilated arm  planed od school counselor hospitalized got therapist thought safe refered iop program im currently shits hill restriction hit like rock ive clean while would gladly cut self could still abusing substances ive really low high key suicidal life feels kinda shit gonna lie thank reading means lot
life rant secretsi born late september far remember ive sick born family strong history mental illness moms side sick dads sick storys paranoid anxious behavior day born would scream chairs left pushed table could even comprehend anything would cry night time form change feared anything scared admit it would nightmares freak accidents learned family could die left content fear safety around me started notice bullying never weight grew self hatred ate others food brought comfort nothing else could also began developing crush girlim female knowing nothing heterosexuality convinced disgusting dad opinionated homophobic got tablet free internet range became informed sexuality internet friends year one girl year older one night sleep over ended experimenting witch far young so still bullied students found happened her bullied severely developed acne every one else led bullying spent recess year hole back fence away every one else school grades declined years old grades became worse hated self body severely thought cutting fat body kitchen scissors yet diagnosed mental illnesses sky rockets severity grades work ethic time low met another girl thing happened previously happened year also like boys timei thought death lot bullied got called fat ugly got called gay mocked grades even teachers cut first time began skipping lunch gained weight due binge eating years old grades s freinds developed self harm addiction cut self chance got continued gain weight would starve week time binge eat weighed self times day cried ate bullied gym began working got home school every day hours binge eat started experimenting prescription drugs tried slitting wrist overdosing summer tried getting clean self harm several relapses severely suicidal weeks th grade school counselor hospitalized im hospital groomed molested almost year old boy groomed sex year old girl days discharging hospital relapsed get stitches hospitalized hospital visit sent residential hated it days later birth day there dog diedim shit personfor real like really shity staff patients really hated me deserved it kept breakdowns stupid shit grew attached staff even though hated me guess felt cared for started fear going home i still sick scared would happen left binge habits flourished managed sneak razor blades diazepam pass lasted month mutilated chest instead showering talked fucking walls snuck meds pass planed od changed mind asking float nurse questions meds realised probably would found out suffered lot pain died would really long painfully watched meds desolve toilet like morning treid restrict instead bingeing staff caught on stopped ended bingeing end tried hinting past ed s substance abuse really want time kinda sucked it one believed me remember wondering could find journal documenting it guess mom trashed it began attention seeking therapist got discharged thinks may cause know ask help decided enough brought prescription diazepam razors pass used help last month got discharged discharged ish months night tried oding old prozac got sick continued mutilate thighs abuse harder substances remember summer spent like days tweaked out bingeing got worse got comments weight gain school mates started new school turned rumor spread smoked pot school bathroom never smoked weed school people knew smoked every day schoolat creek lost it mutilated arm planed od school counselor hospitalized got therapist thought safe refered iop program im currently shits hill restriction hit like rock ive clean while would gladly cut self could still abusing substances ive really low high key suicidal life feels kinda shit gonna lie thank reading means lot
vida rant secretsi nacido tarde septiembre lejos recordar ive enfermo nacido familia historia fuerte enfermedad mental mamás lado enfermos papás enfermos historias paranoico ansiedad comportamiento día nacería gritos sillas izquierda empujada mesa podía incluso comprender cualquier cosa llorar noche tiempo forma cambio temía cualquier cosa miedo admitir que sería pesadillas extraños accidentes aprendidos familia podría morir contenido izquierdo miedo miedo seguridad alrededor de mí comenzó aviso acoso aumento de peso auto odio comió otros comida trajo comodidad nada más podría también comenzó a desarrollar aplastamiento chicaim mujer no saber nada heterosexualidad convencido desagradable papá opiniones homofóbicas tableta gratis Internet gama se convirtió en información sexualidad amigos año una niña año mayor una noche sueño terminó experimentando bruja lejos joven