maybe pain help someonethis going quite long post im really sure expect perhaps moderation perhaps trolls perhaps genuine questions id amazed anyone ends reading start finish goes probably also say details might particularly difficult people read especially youve thought redflag before around six months ago six months ten days precise exgirlfriend broke up decision pretty mutual time wed unhappy within pretty short period changed mind didnt want anymore unfortunately change onesided today together first month break tried keep mind would end speaking optimistic time apart contrition mistakes made ideas fix problems led us point would get us back together couple days first time saw break started asking question would couldnt rectify situation jest answer always probably kill myself time didnt take seriously knew joking hindsight think beginning kind desensitisation idea causing death im sure anyone reading imagine idea killing probably quite uncomfortable didnt really feel anything first time met things went really badly probably soon end conversation found stood side road unable stop crying control breathing thing could think time make feeling stop saw bus coming decided would step front it made decision able get kind control breathing crying bit less stepped edge road bus went around corner id found position optimism would work things point time nothing else seemed important even worth living for ended speaking text night got hope back still chance could actually fix things feeling carried next couple weeks back mind kept thinking things couldnt resolved going follow kill myself week half christmas  spoke hopes dashed sure nothing could done again found unable stop crying barely able breath time happened couple hundred metres away river again decided going jump able get control back myself combination design railing people constantly passing lack strength eating three days prevented jumping in tried climb sent goodbye text wasnt able get railing ended developing conversation knew trying trying change mind decided listen give chance anyone could stop would person nothing said changed mind hanging phone decided everything could make cold possible fall asleep hoped wouldnt wake up fact im typing means things didnt go plan spoke christmas agreed would meet see happened told worried shed week convinced moment madness wasnt something could really done would ever do didnt mean mindset completely shifted beginning concerned would make happy wanted get back cost thats say intent kill night insincere things started happening think part hoping shed give things another try reason save life realised week thinking virtually nothing else couldnt claim love someone thats doing realised happiness important part hinged worry me ended seeing almost every weekend first couple months year many moments things good optimistic moving right direction couple weekends row cancelled plans last minute second one called asked really going on said seeing ended feeling crap couple days said would leave alone didnt anymore midway conversation could feel crying breathing problems coming hung phone point certain nothing could started planning how when would kill myself derailed texting half hour later asking could talk weeks point none friends family knew bad things gotten first told friends feeling eventually told gone beyond thinking redflag also speaking counsellor weeks point largely due fear locked hadnt completely honest far suicidal ideation gone also hadnt told anyone work manager knew personal issues counselling sessions true extent issue never something made clear make matters worse started job four days aforementioned bus incident ive found difficult concentrate work im consumed idea killing myself employment seems fairly unimportant youre going die soon preforming badly work reached point decided would tell someone bad things resign since opening work lot support theyve offered make reasonable adjustments possible suppose positive thinking wouldnt helpful relationship mended found unemployed longer suicidal since last spoke ex made two plans kill one reason another neither came fruition things stand ive proposed ex meet speak covid drama passed lockdown rules eased given may time soon told feel rushed deciding either way still feel much same hope moving forward need remove life way think killing myself suppose purpose partly write everything also feel like could good anyone curious know feels like suicidal state mind able ask questions want able answer questions whenever ive watched videos listened advice deal suicidal thoughts ive found doesnt really resonate me way lot people tedtalks seem felt doesnt match me initially made feel even weirder and although dont hold much hope myself want able help someone else may also feel like feelings exist outside typical suicidal narrative ill try explain bit thoughts maybe answer questions comments anyone raises them ive symptoms depression long remember ive always managed stay top things now never considered redflag recently dont know anyone killed themselves im sure people tell need cut life completely start moving on advice everyone know given me problem times past six months havent wanted kill wished dead times feeling optimistic chance completely cutting would mean optimism therefore reason kill myself recognise kind feeling dependency healthy basis relationship counsellor explains as life like bottom boat compartments analogous different interests life like friendships career family hobbies etc one floods whole boat doesnt sink compartments fine continue analogy feel though compartments arent separated well one flooded spilled others build separation need drain flood start work might make sense anyone plain terms feel though need relationship back give motivation start putting safety net sorts place break dont find back here ideally wed get back together break recognise definitely possibility first months kept recently told friends speaking counsellor told people work recently referred psychiatrist also million different cards crisis helplines theres shortage people speak to contrary may seem im really sensitive person dont feel like need sugarcoat questions advice
maybe pain help someonethis going quite long post im really sure expect perhaps moderation perhaps trolls perhaps genuine questions id amazed anyone ends reading start finish goes probably also say details might particularly difficult people read especially youve thought redflag before around six months ago six months ten days precise exgirlfriend broke up decision pretty mutual time wed unhappy within pretty short period changed mind didnt want anymore unfortunately change onesided today together first month break tried keep mind would end speaking optimistic time apart contrition mistakes made ideas fix problems led us point would get us back together couple days first time saw break started asking question would couldnt rectify situation jest answer always probably kill myself time didnt take seriously knew joking hindsight think beginning kind desensitisation idea causing death im sure anyone reading imagine idea killing probably quite uncomfortable didnt really feel anything first time met things went really badly probably soon end conversation found stood side road unable stop crying control breathing thing could think time make feeling stop saw bus coming decided would step front it made decision able get kind control breathing crying bit less stepped edge road bus went around corner id found position optimism would work things point time nothing else seemed important even worth living for ended speaking text night got hope back still chance could actually fix things feeling carried next couple weeks back mind kept thinking things couldnt resolved going follow kill myself week half christmas spoke hopes dashed sure nothing could done again found unable stop crying barely able breath time happened couple hundred metres away river again decided going jump able get control back myself combination design railing people constantly passing lack strength eating three days prevented jumping in tried climb sent goodbye text wasnt able get railing ended developing conversation knew trying trying change mind decided listen give chance anyone could stop would person nothing said changed mind hanging phone decided everything could make cold possible fall asleep hoped wouldnt wake up fact im typing means things didnt go plan spoke christmas agreed would meet see happened told worried shed week convinced moment madness wasnt something could really done would ever do didnt mean mindset completely shifted beginning concerned would make happy wanted get back cost thats say intent kill night insincere things started happening think part hoping shed give things another try reason save life realised week thinking virtually nothing else couldnt claim love someone thats doing realised happiness important part hinged worry me ended seeing almost every weekend first couple months year many moments things good optimistic moving right direction couple weekends row cancelled plans last minute second one called asked really going on said seeing ended feeling crap couple days said would leave alone didnt anymore midway conversation could feel crying breathing problems coming hung phone point certain nothing could started planning how when would kill myself derailed texting half hour later asking could talk weeks point none friends family knew bad things gotten first told friends feeling eventually told gone beyond thinking redflag also speaking counsellor weeks point largely due fear locked hadnt completely honest far suicidal ideation gone also hadnt told anyone work manager knew personal issues counselling sessions true extent issue never something made clear make matters worse started job four days aforementioned bus incident ive found difficult concentrate work im consumed idea killing myself employment seems fairly unimportant youre going die soon preforming badly work reached point decided would tell someone bad things resign since opening work lot support theyve offered make reasonable adjustments possible suppose positive thinking wouldnt helpful relationship mended found unemployed longer suicidal since last spoke ex made two plans kill one reason another neither came fruition things stand ive proposed ex meet speak covid drama passed lockdown rules eased given may time soon told feel rushed deciding either way still feel much same hope moving forward need remove life way think killing myself suppose purpose partly write everything also feel like could good anyone curious know feels like suicidal state mind able ask questions want able answer questions whenever ive watched videos listened advice deal suicidal thoughts ive found doesnt really resonate me way lot people tedtalks seem felt doesnt match me initially made feel even weirder and although dont hold much hope myself want able help someone else may also feel like feelings exist outside typical suicidal narrative ill try explain bit thoughts maybe answer questions comments anyone raises them ive symptoms depression long remember ive always managed stay top things now never considered redflag recently dont know anyone killed themselves im sure people tell need cut life completely start moving on advice everyone know given me problem times past six months havent wanted kill wished dead times feeling optimistic chance completely cutting would mean optimism therefore reason kill myself recognise kind feeling dependency healthy basis relationship counsellor explains as life like bottom boat compartments analogous different interests life like friendships career family hobbies etc one floods whole boat doesnt sink compartments fine continue analogy feel though compartments arent separated well one flooded spilled others build separation need drain flood start work might make sense anyone plain terms feel though need relationship back give motivation start putting safety net sorts place break dont find back here ideally wed get back together break recognise definitely possibility first months kept recently told friends speaking counsellor told people work recently referred psychiatrist also million different cards crisis helplines theres shortage people speak to contrary may seem im really sensitive person dont feel like need sugarcoat questions advice
Tal vez el dolor ayuda a alguien que va bastante largo post im realmente seguro esperar tal vez moderación tal vez trolls preguntas genuinas id asombrado alguien termina lectura inicio final va probablemente también decir detalles podría particularmente difícil personas leer especialmente youve pensamiento Redflag antes de alrededor de hace seis meses hace seis meses diez días precisa exnovia rompió decisión bastante mutuo tiempo infeliz en bastante corto período cambio de mente no quería más lamentablemente cambio unilateral hoy juntos primer mes descanso tratado de tener en cuenta terminar de hablar optimista tiempo aparte errores de contrición ideas hechos problemas nos llevó a punto nos hizo volver juntos un par de días primera vez vio descanso comenzó a hacer pregunta no podría rectificar situación jest respuesta siempre probablemente me mata tiempo no se tomó en serio broma retrospectiva pensar empezando tipo idea desensibilización que causa la muerte