seeking support im chronicallyill broken mess person inching towards death reaching againfirst apologize number times ive posted here ive brief interactions great people yet seeking connect anyone relate otherwise wishes talk me loneliness component this suppose means im looking something stick inject hope back daily life regardless im feeling selfconscious efforts reach out continue long follows copied recent post another forum short is ive feeling very very stuck lately feel though im backed corner way death im unsure handle that thoughts redflag pretty much inevitable longterm illness im sure lately loud making sense ever moredetailed rundown largely borrowed posts long read please bear me  ive chronicallyill  years  live family never lived independently still much feel like teenager got sick except older alone makes social pariah  never experienced real life beyond teens except vicariously others disappeared life  higher learning marketable skills physically reasonablyemployable  im financial burden family likely remain im dead  illness taken several bounding leaps worse last decade especially last couple years mostly induced circumstance left far less capable distracting successfully longestablished light hobbies could fill time  soulrendingly lonely small handful friends upon want keep piling problems dismal outlook get sense place lives continues shrink  realistic romantic prospects hopes one bores particularly deep would want use anyone purely validatory purposes all feels like im built programmed need share life someone especially cruel that given circumstances  life taking things increasing pace nothing returning fill voids get true anyone anywhere especially powerless actively fight otherwise counteract it  years illness dependence primarily financial others bigger things life fostered nearly zero appreciable ego mountains anxiety uncertainty selfimage may well even exist terrible  could wave magic wand cure completely right second would still impossible mess fix far many years behind salvage anything even close want life longer part hurts me daily see life passing me life going around me fixture home kind family pet absolutely nothing look forward to interests cant pursue needs cant meet desires cant even begin fulfill spend every day feeling though im enough life enough another person enough even myself just enough nearly enough last parent gone care pass siblings whatever unlucky ones draw short stick guess cycle continue family shrinks gone dreams career spouse  kids home own building continuing legacy living quiet modest life someone love instead ill nothing footnote family tree tired feeling like burden tired feeling like cant begin measure standard society place nearly anything littletono social worth definitely financial worth anchor disappointment drearyreminder couldve been not rejected mocked ignored put aside forgotten illness made life irony if im even using irony correctly here know im great fucking person im smart interests empathy patience lot things could list none things matter oh still live home you income even worse sick eww  well whatever im sure get idea one care purely companionship bring table strictly practical standpoint see value continuing live mean sound glib way theres plenty i value life people world nearly walled me theres much windowshopping time move on landlocked watching everyone fly feel though true hope removed equation ive gasping air ever since finally dawning maybe one path forward now its well death life without hope without love without something ive earned created life thats greater literal sits chair worth living pushing pain misery feel designed need partner life  cant that feel need create indulge creative pursuits  nope cant rare occasion life decided allow glimpse yanked away sometimes destructive effect let clear i want die paradoxically idea scares me concept ending life finding method so etc unnerves im even sure could go it cant keep living like anymore i fucking cant senseless suffering much loneliness much fractured stitchedtogether nature soul much know much longer continue like this know timer fast shrinking reluctance towards ending things diminishing thank much reading mess please forgive length semireposted nature im even sure im looking posting again beyond  know heard companionship something want pity want waste anyones time comments questions thoughts pms welcome point
seeking support im chronicallyill broken mess person inching towards death reaching againfirst apologize number times ive posted here ive brief interactions great people yet seeking connect anyone relate otherwise wishes talk me loneliness component this suppose means im looking something stick inject hope back daily life regardless im feeling selfconscious efforts reach out continue long follows copied recent post another forum short is ive feeling very very stuck lately feel though im backed corner way deathim unsure handle that thoughts redflag pretty much inevitable longterm illness im sure lately loud making sense ever moredetailed rundown largely borrowed posts long read please bear me ive chronicallyill years live family never lived independently still much feel like teenager got sick except older alone makes social pariah never experienced real life beyond teens except vicariously others disappeared life higher learning marketable skills physically reasonablyemployable im financial burden family likely remain im dead illness taken several bounding leaps worse last decade especially last couple years mostly induced circumstance left far less capable distracting successfully longestablished light hobbies could fill time soulrendingly lonely small handful friends upon want keep piling problems dismal outlook get sense place lives continues shrink realistic romantic prospects hopes one bores particularly deep would want use anyone purely validatory purposes all feels like im built programmed need share life someone especially cruel that given circumstances life taking things increasing pace nothing returning fill voids get true anyone anywhere especially powerless actively fight otherwise counteract it years illness dependence primarily financial others bigger things life fostered nearly zero appreciable ego mountains anxiety uncertainty selfimage may well even exist terrible could wave magic wand cure completely right second would still impossible mess fix far many years behind salvage anything even close want life longer part hurts me daily see life passing me life going around me fixture home kind family pet absolutely nothing look forward to interests cant pursue needs cant meet desires cant even begin fulfill spend every day feeling though im enough life enough another person enough even myself just enough nearly enough last parent gone care pass siblings whatever unlucky ones draw short stick guess cycle continue family shrinks gone dreams career spouse kids home own building continuing legacy living quiet modest life someone love instead ill nothing footnote family tree tired feeling like burden tired feeling like cant begin measure standard society place nearly anything littletono social worth definitely financial worth anchor disappointment drearyreminder couldve been not rejected mocked ignored put aside forgotten illness made life irony if im even using irony correctly here know im great fucking person im smart interests empathy patience lot things could list none things matteroh still live home you income even worse sick eww well whatever im sure get idea one care purely companionship bring table strictly practical standpoint see value continuing live mean sound glib way theres plenty i value life people world nearly walled me theres much windowshopping time move on landlocked watching everyone fly feel though true hope removed equation ive gasping air ever since finally dawning maybe one path forward now its well death life without hope without love without something ive earned created life thats greater literal sits chair worth living pushing pain misery feel designed need partner life cant that feel need create indulge creative pursuits nope cant rare occasion life decided allow glimpse yanked away sometimes destructive effect let clear i want die paradoxically idea scares me concept ending life finding method so etc unnerves im even sure could go it cant keep living likeanymore i fucking cant senseless suffering much loneliness much fractured stitchedtogether nature soul much know much longer continue like this know timer fast shrinking reluctance towards ending things diminishing thank much reading mess please forgive length semireposted nature im even sure im looking posting again beyond know heard companionship something want pity want waste anyones time comments questions thoughts pms welcome point
buscar apoyo es crónicamente roto desastre persona inching hacia la muerte llegar de nuevo primero disculpa número veces ive posted here iive breve interacciones gran gente sin embargo buscando conectar a nadie se relacionan de otra manera desea hablarme componente de soledad esto supone significa im buscar algo palo inyectar esperanza vida diaria independientemente de mí sentimiento de autoconsciencia esfuerzos llegar a cabo largo sigue copiado reciente post otro foro corto es ive sentir muy muy atascado últimamente sentir aunque im backed esquina manera muerteim seguro manejar que los pensamientos enrojecimiento casi inevitable enfermedad a largo plazo im seguro últimamente ruido hacer sentido cada vez más detallado ejecución en gran parte prestado posts largo leer por favor me oso