world systematically stripping things make happy coping mechanisms last  yearsi used work made happy fencing team got sinus infection  months shortly recovering herniated disk back got surgery almost year later still extremely limited without serious painful consequences  back surgery like play guitar video games random onset numbness pain arms hands zero medical explanation doctor took seriously worst peaks head back life remind make life hell again used like drink one night ended hospital pancreatitis possibly drugged hostess cant drink anymore lest want reignite excruciating pain side like weed moved country isnt legal im trying antidepressants again ones took kid made even depressed brought back suicidal thoughts im sex addict put dick toosmall vibrator cup  months ago ever since cant get full erection pain numbness still masturbate twice day even though makes worse positive chemicals get anything doctor hasnt done actual tests anything beyond looking giving fucking herbs ive lost fuckin ability sex s friends busy succeeding care graduated semester late time covid start friends jobs growing careers im useless piece shit ive seen friends twice past  months partly im afterthought them even best friend says im best friend im different country family whole crisis vowed didnt get job id kill coming back us shithole id rather go back anyway figure easier family die overseas accept it rather finding body visa expires  months dont see finding job then want easy way go nothing seems easy enough lazy ass checked tall building around none public access stairways apartment building  stories want make sure get full  meters needed die confidence hate bullshit read news theres zero hope humans generation even solve every one problems have whats point world sustainable capable burning exploding violence oppression theres nothing worth looking forward to thats assuming im going medical situational problems piled cruel fucking universe want talk someone friends either busy succeeding dont want pull down dont trust them dont want trigger them writing dumb post ill probably delete anyone knows good place jump tokyo hmu
world systematically stripping things make happy coping mechanisms last yearsi used work made happy fencing team got sinus infection months shortly recovering herniated disk back got surgery almost year later still extremely limited without serious painful consequences back surgery like play guitar video games random onset numbness pain arms hands zero medical explanation doctor took seriously worst peaks head back life remind make life hell again used like drink one night ended hospital pancreatitis possibly drugged hostess cant drink anymore lest want reignite excruciating pain side like weed moved country isnt legal im trying antidepressants again ones took kid made even depressed brought back suicidal thoughts im sex addict put dick toosmall vibrator cup months ago ever since cant get full erection pain numbness still masturbate twice day even though makes worse positive chemicals get anything doctor hasnt done actual tests anything beyond looking giving fucking herbs ive lost fuckin ability sex s friends busy succeeding care graduated semester late time covid start friends jobs growing careers im useless piece shit ive seen friends twice past months partly im afterthought them even best friend says im best friend im different country family whole crisis vowed didnt get job id kill coming back us shithole id rather go back anyway figure easier family die overseas accept it rather finding body visa expires months dont see finding job then want easy way go nothing seems easy enough lazy ass checked tall building around none public access stairways apartment building stories want make sure get full meters needed die confidence hate bullshit read news theres zero hope humans generation even solve every one problems have whats point world sustainable capable burning exploding violence oppression theres nothing worth looking forward to thats assuming im going medical situational problems piled cruel fucking universe want talk someone friends either busy succeeding dont want pull down dont trust them dont want trigger them writing dumb post ill probably delete anyone knows good place jump tokyo hmu
mundo sistemáticamente stripping cosas hacer feliz los mecanismos de afrontamiento los años pasadosi uso trabajo hecho feliz equipo de esgrima consiguió infección sinusal meses en breve recuperación hernia disco de nuevo consiguió cirugía casi año más tarde todavía extremadamente limitado sin graves consecuencias dolorosas volver cirugía como juego guitarra video juegos al azar inicio entumecimiento dolor brazos manos cero explicación médica doctor tomó seriamente peores picos cabeza espalda vida recordar hacer vida infierno otra vez utilizado como bebida una noche final pancreatitis hospital posiblemente drogada anfitriona no puede beber más no quiere reinite dolor extremo lado como maleza movida país ist legal im intentar antidepresivos otra vez uno tomó niño hizo incluso deprimido pensamientos suicidas traídos de vuelta im sexo adicto poner polla demasiado pequeño vibrador taza meses atrás desde que no puede conseguir plena erección dolor entumecimiento todavía masturbarse dos veces día aunque hace peores químicos positivos conseguir cualquier cosa doctor hant pruebas reales cualquier cosa más allá de mirar mierda hierbas i pérdida de capacidad sexo amigos ocupado éxito cuidado graduado semestre tarde covid inicio amigos trabajo