need pour heart outi even know start theres storm thoughts head hard put coherent text so im  year old guy basically im depressed  time feel ugly stupid week hopeless im statistics student university killing me life ive considered nerd used getting high marks liked teachers school considered intelligent kid actually never felt happy since childhood proud academic achievements gave least little confidence however things changed got uni rd year constantly feel like im good enough im tired understanding things sitting  hours stydying still getting results want seeing people better feeling like got wrong place got point im afraid study know feel stupid miserable ive always tried maximum want reach lowest possible mark thats enough pass matter try feel like im always fail motivation reached lowest level life goals years ago destroyed feel like mistake im alive theres bit one year get degree im scared im going life feels like knowledge talents ones going hire me theres single thing could happy left life friends im suffering social anxiety ive shy smart kid since childhood im highly introverted feel scared communicating unknown people theres one talk besides mum feel like weirdo one needs me understand people understand me say even try discussing things feels like always think differently others im always minority phoning hairdresser register haircut huge challenge me even mentioning going institutions speak completely unknown people panic attacks know act unknown situations go new places even count amount mental breakdowns travel another city country feel like social abilities worse  year old child go new city study leave parents home  years ago things started going downhill me getting used new city new people nightmare used cry every single day flats expensive rent im living dormitory worst place socially awkward pervert like me first roommate quite good friends almost speak almost problems living him however moved year ago since last september im living new one disaster clean room respect privacy thousands friends i somehow managed tell want room cant live normal life theres noise around understand that likes playing loud music even worse singing along even hes playing music somehow manages irritate little things like forgetting close door neither relax concentrate study hes around thank god often goes somewhere else leaves alone live exsoviet small eastern european country conditions dormitory great expect see normal western country theres lack space feel like imprisoned walls come back parents every single weekend escape ugly place could search job place get money rent flat im afraid change life anxiety also studies require lot time effort think could manage combining work studying enjoy staying home nothing common hobbies young people unfamiliar often involve going surrounded people hate life like vicious circle im tired lonely want friends im surrounded people want escape alone cant connect people hate small talk want discuss politics environment meaning life music people age interested even interested usually popular opinions refuse view things different angles leads able act like im normal like everybody else like parties like current pop music prefer summer winter etc people probably consider arrogant cant act things tell want fake overpolite person understands mother feel loves cares me probably reason committed redflag want hurt her however hate father hes alcoholic hes constantly arguing mother understand even try to hes intentionally bad person irritates hate hes home besides that hate way look im skinny short feel manly enough skin pale hate going out hate hair jawline skinny arms whole body general speaking voice quite highpitched get nervous anxiety sounds even feminine already does stereotypes society make easier accept myself want man boy ive always hated exercising unpleasant boring ive tried working many times get muscular always end feeling weak hopeless giving up enough im gay ive realized quite recently year ago makes hate even more one knows even know id dare tell anybody fact society country homophobic would make even harder feel like ill end lonely unhappy insecure rest life also virgin could write book problems stress im thats enough writing pouring emotions helped little bit thanks anyone taking time read this
need pour heart outi even know start theres storm thoughts head hard put coherent textso im year old guy basically im depressed time feel ugly stupid week hopeless im statistics student university killing me life ive considered nerd used getting high marks liked teachers school considered intelligent kid actually never felt happy since childhood proud academic achievements gave least little confidence however things changed got uni rd year constantly feel like im good enough im tired understanding things sitting hours stydying still getting results want seeing people better feeling like got wrong place got point im afraid study know feel stupid miserable ive always tried maximum want reach lowest possible mark thats enough pass matter try feel like im always fail motivation reached lowest level life goals years ago destroyed feel like mistake im alive theres bit one year get degree im scared im going life feels like knowledge talents ones going hire me theres single thing could happy left life friends im suffering social anxiety ive shy smart kid since childhood im highly introverted feel scared communicating unknown people theres one talk besides mum feel like weirdo one needs me understand people understand me say even try discussing things feels like always think differently others im always minority phoning hairdresser register haircut huge challenge me even mentioning going institutions speak completely unknown people panic attacks know act unknown situations go new places even count amount mental breakdowns travel another city country feel like social abilities worse year old child go new city study leave parents home years ago things started going downhill me getting used new city new people nightmare used cry every single day flats expensive rent im living dormitory worst place socially awkward pervert like me first roommate quite good friends almost speak almost problems living him however moved year ago since last september im living new one disaster clean room respect privacy thousands friends i somehow managed tell want room cant live normal life theres noise around understand that likes playing loud music even worse singing along even hes playing music somehow manages irritate little things like forgetting close door neither relax concentrate study hes around thank god often goes somewhere else leaves alone live exsoviet small eastern european country conditions dormitory great expect see normal western country theres lack space feel like imprisoned walls come back parents every single weekend escape ugly place could search job place get money rent flat im afraid change life anxiety also studies require lot time effort think could manage combining work studying enjoy staying home nothing common hobbies young people unfamiliar often involve going surrounded people hate life like vicious circle im tired lonely want friends im surrounded people want escape alone cant connect people hate small talk want discuss politics environment meaning life music people age interested even interested usually popular opinions refuse view things different angles leads able act like im normal like everybody else like parties like current pop music prefer summer winter etc people probably consider arrogant cant act things tell want fake overpolite person understands mother feel loves cares me probably reason committed redflag want hurt her however hate father hes alcoholic hes constantly arguing mother understand even try to hes intentionally bad person irritates hate hes home besides that hate way look im skinny short feel manly enough skin pale hate going out hate hair jawline skinny arms whole body general speaking voice quite highpitched get nervous anxiety sounds even feminine already does stereotypes society make easier accept myself want man boy ive always hated exercising unpleasant boring ive tried working many times get muscular always end feeling weak hopeless giving up enough im gayive realized quite recently year ago makes hate even more one knows even know id dare tell anybody fact society country homophobic would make even harder feel like ill end lonely unhappy insecure rest life also virgin could write book problems stress im thats enough writing pouring emotions helped little bit thanks anyone taking time read this
Necesito ver el corazón hacia fuerai incluso saber empezar Theres pensamientos tormenta cabeza duro poner texto coherente chico im año básicamente tiempo deprimido se siente feo estúpida semana desesperada im estadística estudiante universidad matándome vida ive considerado nerd utilizado conseguir altas notas como profesores escuela considerado niño inteligente en realidad nunca se sintió feliz desde infancia orgulloso logros académicos dio menos poca confianza sin embargo las cosas cambiaron uni rd año constantemente se siente como estoy lo suficientemente bien estoy cansado entender cosas sentado horas stydying todavía conseguir resultados quieren ver a la gente mejor sensación de tener lugar equivocado punto im miedo estudio saber sentirse estúpido miserable