plans kill march ive struggling lot depressive selfdestructive thoughts years remember really mild sad episode genuine feelings emptiness wanting close eyes never wake this im extremely paranoid friends feel like hate force talk otherwise think ill hurt kill myself nothing feels genuine think anyone would ever want hang find nice friend mostly childhood friends treating way ive never made good experience genuine friend whos friend makes feel alone unwanted im scared everyone sees psychotic person need endure else theyd feel guilty redflag im scared opening past trauma barely trust anyone this want hang localgiant forest th birthday mainly want dad birthday kill myself love lot also sees psychotic rather normal person know past conversations way talks problems psychologist mom abused want talk felt like mention it nothing future seems good worth going pain im loss want hang myself ive crying since woke closest friends betrayed trust yesterday called police psychotic breakdown talking dying never said id try anything called want talk want feel responsible death thats think least selfish thinking that im heartbroken shook up none messaged since yesterday either feel like truly hate abandoned me feel like fault broke friendship lost one things still cheered day up know anymore im heartbroken wish die hope manage hang march ordered proper rope set good time window
plans kill march ive struggling lot depressive selfdestructive thoughts years remember really mild sad episode genuine feelings emptiness wanting close eyes never wake this im extremely paranoid friends feel like hate force talk otherwise think ill hurt kill myself nothing feels genuine think anyone would ever want hang find nice friend mostly childhood friends treating way ive never made good experience genuine friend whos friend makes feel alone unwanted im scared everyone sees psychotic person need endure else theyd feel guilty redflag im scared opening past trauma barely trust anyone this want hang localgiant forest th birthday mainly want dad birthday kill myself love lot also sees psychotic rather normal person know past conversations way talks problems psychologist mom abused want talk felt like mention it nothing future seems good worth going pain im loss want hang myself ive crying since woke closest friends betrayed trust yesterday called police psychotic breakdown talking dying never said id try anything called want talk want feel responsible death thats think least selfish thinking that im heartbroken shook up none messaged since yesterday either feel like truly hate abandoned me feel like fault broke friendship lost one things still cheered day up know anymore im heartbroken wish die hope manage hang march ordered proper rope set good time window
planes matar march ive lucha mucho pensamientos depresivos autodestructivos años recordar realmente leve triste episodios genuinos sentimientos vacío querer ojos cerrados nunca despertar este im amigos extremadamente paranoicos sentir como odio fuerza hablar de otra manera pensar mal daño matarme nada se siente genuino pensar que alguien alguna vez querría colgar encontrar buen amigo sobre todo amigos de la infancia tratar manera ive nunca hecho buena experiencia amigo genuino que amigos hace sentirse solo no deseado im miedo todo el mundo ve persona psicótica necesidad de soportar más se sienten culpable flanqueo rojo im miedo abrir pasado trauma apenas confiar en alguien este quiere colgar bosque localgiant th cumpleaños principalmente quiero papá cumpleaños me mata lote amor también ve psicótico bastante normal persona sabe conversaciones pasadas manera habla problemas psicólogo mamá abusado querer hablar se siente como mencionar nada futuro parece bueno vale la pena ir dolor