know much longer hold killing myselfive tried overdosing twice past  years failed times even though took lot first time  pills found around   hours later second time several bottles prescription meds including sedativessleeping pills lithium kind slept vomited out people told reason failed ive never believed it moments happiness life last years mostly ive lethargic miserable want leave house ever want get home lie down im really tired cant fall asleep wear out drink much take sleeping meds desire better improve life idid buy new car recently nice happiness purchase short lived resigned never take another partner desire sex cultivate friendships new relationships fear living parents rent house forever im riddled anxiety ive taken many different kinds meds cant even remember all none affect positively recreational drugs illicit poor reactions dont like them like drink almost control im out dont always drink though always drank ive always felt way far back remember like around age  im mid s mental health still fucked sure ive made positive changes growth nothing compared massive amount crap going head people always telling seem fine im dramatic try share bad pain is say look act like imhappy well duh im going mopeing around time others looking tried therapy went   therapists quit started online therapy ive month really helping tried exercise dieting became unhealthily obsessed stop im nothing baby real hobbies passions dreams goals simply want cease existence im tied fighting feelings want give end all always wanted die still do im thinking buying russian pills online like barbiturates ending life taking ton several gimlets glasses wine maybe weed tub really set mood plus tub would catch vomit easier cleanup family maybe could lay tarp im sure easy get vomit bathtub whatever do really think im gonna time fail keep trying succeed ill buy fucking pistol blow brains hang partial suspension idk want constant suffering with im always paranoid ive tried best get help help me im living nightmare every day every night
know much longer hold killing myselfive tried overdosing twice past years failed times even though took lot first time pills found around hours later second time several bottles prescription meds including sedativessleeping pills lithium kind slept vomited out people told reason failed ive never believed it moments happiness life last years mostly ive lethargic miserable want leave house ever want get home lie down im really tired cant fall asleep wear out drink much take sleeping meds desire better improve life idid buy new car recently nice happiness purchase short lived resigned never take another partner desire sex cultivate friendships new relationships fear living parents rent house forever im riddled anxiety ive taken many different kinds meds cant even remember all none affect positively recreational drugs illicit poor reactions dont like them like drink almost control im out dont always drink though always drank ive always felt way far back remember like around ageim mids mental health still fucked sure ive made positive changes growth nothing compared massive amount crap going head people always telling seem fine im dramatic try share bad pain is say look act like imhappy well duh im going mopeing around time others looking tried therapy went therapists quit started online therapy ive month really helping tried exercise dieting became unhealthily obsessed stop im nothing baby real hobbies passions dreams goals simply want cease existence im tied fighting feelings want give end all always wanted die still do im thinking buying russian pills online like barbiturates ending life taking ton several gimlets glasses wine maybe weed tub really set mood plus tub would catch vomit easier cleanup family maybe could lay tarpim sure easy getvomit bathtubwhatever do really think im gonna time fail keep trying succeed ill buy fucking pistol blow brains hang partial suspension idk want constant suffering with im always paranoid ive tried best get help help me im living nightmare every day every night
Sé que mucho más tiempo mantener la muerte melfive intentado sobredosificación dos años pasados veces fracasados, aunque tomó mucho primera vez píldoras encontradas alrededor de horas más tarde segunda vez varias botellas receta medicamentos incluyendo sedantessleeping píldoras litio tipo dormido vomitó gente dijo razón fallida ive nunca lo creyó momentos felicidad vida pasados años sobre todo ive letárgico miserable querer dejar casa nunca quiero volver a casa tumbarse en realidad cansado cant quedarse dormido beber mucho tomar meds deseo mejor mejorar la vida idid comprar nuevo coche recientemente agradable felicidad compra corto vivir resignado nunca tomar otra pareja deseo cultivar amistades nuevas relaciones miedo vivir padres alquiler casa para siempre im acertijo ansiedad ive tomó muchas clases diferentes meds no puede recordar incluso todos ninguno afectar positivamente drogas recreativas ilícitas reacciones pobres no como ellos como beber casi control im out dont siempre beber aunque siempre bebió ive siempre se sintió mucho atrás recordar como alrededor de edadim mediados salud mental todavía follada seguro ive hizo positivo cambios crecimiento nada comparado masiva mierda va a la gente siempre decir bien im dramático tratar de compartir el mal dolor es decir mirar como imhappy acción