basically summary struggles fears warning longseveral years ago breaking point snapped contemplated months evening different left party family attended earlier went home put favorite piece music basically tried make piece everything committing attempt raised religious family prayed happen quickly painless foremost happen all not hours later family came home woke up knew window passed would strength meters away me incredibly frustrated first then way thought everything again next months fears pushed towards moment resolved least invoke panic before came believe god prayed make happen held back kept reason relationship belief grew strong huge source hope strenght song listened evening became sort hymn said trust since believed saved night next months recovered grew optimistic started enjoy thoughts time think felt like could advance problems would solve dilemmas saw constantly one one one day stumbled upon piece music touched whole level never experienced before swore myself never listen song  find one waiting you yes kind superstitious weirdo believing god one true love or  ever want end life again way would able commit anything without remembering thought ultimately living waiting for day listened song again always perfect hurdle every suicidal thought toppling moment emerged subconscious least used be months lost lot connection belief months stand myself alone thoughts happy temporarily soon moment subsides emptiness gnawing feeling takes place one things numb video games dont think anything playing perfect break self loathing amount people manage thing decreased drastically making gaming important dont know happened stand anymore dont know thoughts turned dark void dont know friends loving family make feel wanted alone like opposite incredibly lonely time now lost energy even play games refuge gone inching closer closer listening song want hear badly crave someone share inner nature with someone mend me like stories almost given up promise gave mother years ago told incident feel binding anymore god saved last time might able again song keeps alive moment afraid afraid terrified might happen snap again put song live bad ending story thought back then thinking dark ending possible make bright ending triumph worth wait dont know might happen all think reason wrote post make clear myself close breaking point naive anymore another attempt spoiled naive lack knowledge anatomy terrified afraid sure turn to know happen cant connect family friends help me hope find solution strenght breaks
basically summary struggles fears warning longseveral years ago breaking point snapped contemplated months evening different left party family attended earlier went home put favorite piece music basically tried make piece everything committing attempt raised religious family prayed happen quickly painless foremost happen all not hours later family came home woke up knew window passed would strength meters away me incredibly frustrated first then way thought everything again next months fears pushed towards moment resolved least invoke panic before came believe god prayed make happen held back kept reason relationship belief grew strong huge source hope strenght song listened evening became sort hymn said trust since believed saved night next months recovered grew optimistic started enjoy thoughts time think felt like could advance problems would solve dilemmas saw constantly one one one day stumbled upon piece music touched whole level never experienced before swore myself never listen song find one waiting you yes kind superstitious weirdo believing god one true love or ever want end life again way would able commit anything without remembering thought ultimately living waiting for day listened song again always perfect hurdle every suicidal thought toppling moment emerged subconscious least used be months lost lot connection belief months stand myself alone thoughts happy temporarily soon moment subsides emptiness gnawing feeling takes place one things numb video games dont think anything playing perfect break self loathing amount people manage thing decreased drastically making gaming important dont know happened stand anymore dont know thoughts turned dark void dont know friends loving family make feel wanted alone like opposite incredibly lonely time now lost energy even play games refuge gone inching closer closer listening song want hear badly crave someone share inner nature with someone mend me like stories almost given up promise gave mother years ago told incident feel binding anymore god saved last time might able again song keeps alive moment afraid afraid terrified might happen snap again put song live bad ending story thought back then thinking dark ending possible make bright ending triumph worth wait dont know might happen all think reason wrote post make clear myself close breaking point naive anymore another attempt spoiled naive lack knowledge anatomy terrified afraid sure turn to know happen cant connect family friends help me hope find solution strenght breaks
Básicamente luchas de resumen miedos advertencia hace muchos años punto de ruptura se rompió previsto meses noche diferente partido de izquierda familia asistió antes se fue a casa poner música favorita pieza básicamente trató de hacer pieza todo cometer intento criado familia religiosa oró sucede rápidamente sin dolor más importante suceder no horas después la familia llegó a casa se supo que pasó la ventana se fortalecería metros de distancia yo increíblemente frustrado primero entonces manera pensó todo de nuevo los próximos meses miedos empujados hacia el momento resuelto menos invocar pánico antes de venir creer que dios rezado hacer que suceda retenido