For Mets" Collins, Agonizing Went On After No-Hitter's Final Out Casting shadows upon the afterglow of Johan Santana's no-hitter were concerns about the effect the effort may have on his surgically repaired left shoulder. To become the first pitcher in Mets history to record a no-hitter, Santana had to throw 134 pitches Friday night - far more than his previous high this season, 108, and considerably more even than his previous career high, 125, which he produced in 2008, well before his arm began to bother him. Santana's workload was an inescapable concession to the significance of the moment. But on Saturday, Terry Collins, the Mets" manager, was still dealing with his fear that the rewriting of history could come at some cost. And so, on Saturday afternoon, even as an aura of celebration lingered inside the home clubhouse at Citi Field, Collins was holding his breath, waiting to see how Santana would recover, and formulating a schedule to provide him some extra rest. "He's still wound up with adrenaline," Collins said of Santana. We'll wait till that's out and see how he's feeling. There is right now a real plan to back him up a day or two. Santana had an operation in September 2010 to repair a torn anterior capsule in his shoulder, and his return to action this season had until Friday been handled with extreme care. Collins was frank about the fraught thought processes he endured during the game, and about the conflicting emotions he had in its wake. "My heart told me to take him out due to the fact that I'm playing with a huge piece of the organization," Collins said of his thinking as he watched Santana's pitch count rise. If this guy goes down, it'd be pretty drastic for us. Santana, for his part, allowed himself to get lost in the moment, deciding on the mound to chase the achievement and accepting the future repercussions, whatever they might be. "You can spend your whole career and never have a chance to do it," Santana said. When I had that situation there, I knew I had to take the most out of it, and then we'll figure it all out tomorrow. Collins bought into Santana's thinking during the brief conversations the two had on the mound in the eighth inning and in the dugout before the ninth. Collins said he was consumed after the game with excitement for Santana, the organization and the fans. But that feeling, he said, was mixed with regret, the nagging sense that he had made a mistake. "I went against just about everything I stand for," Collins said of his decision to let Santana continue past a pitch count he had set of about 115. Collins added: "In my heart, I was very, very excited for Johan, and very, very excited for everybody. But I kind of had felt that I had made the wrong move. The battling sentiments first surfaced after the game, when Collins became emotional at a news conference while discussing his decision to let Santana finish the game. The scene was reminiscent of another last September, when Collins obliged Jose Reyes's request to be removed from the final game of the season to aid his pursuit of the batting title. Then, Collins fought back tears as he explained the controversial move. But Collins has made his respect for his players, particularly his veterans, a tenet of his managerial philosophy. "Terry was dealing with an experienced guy who's been around," Bob Geren, the Mets" bench coach, said of Santana. Sometimes you've got to trust and listen to your veteran players, and Terry does that. For all the trust Collins showed Santana, the decision troubled him into the night. "I'm not sure who had less sleep, Johan or me," he said. On Saturday morning, Collins's anxieties were eased somewhat by bits of reassurance he received from his superiors and peers. Collins said that Sandy Alderson, the Mets" general manager, and Jeff Wilpon, the team's chief operating officer, supported his decision. "The consensus was, don't beat yourself down over this; you made the right move," Collins said. Collins also received a call Saturday morning from the former Cardinals manager Tony La Russa, who also offered encouragement. His most important discussion was with Santana, who said Collins pulled him aside Saturday morning and said, "We have to talk." Santana, somewhat predictably, said he felt good, but he acknowledged he would have to wait to see how his shoulder responded. "The next couple of days are going to be important, to see how I recover when I go throw my bullpen," Santana said. But if we have to take an extra day, there's nothing wrong with that. An extra day of rest would perhaps represent the best situation for the Mets. Much worse, as Collins said he had feared, would be seeing Santana unable to pitch for a few months. Is it worth it? Collins said he asked himself Friday night. I believe in the organization, and I believe in the team, and I'm not here to destroy any of that. The cost for writing history, then, has yet to be determined.