Missing Jewelry and Other Sticky Situations When my husband lost his job, I fired our once-a-week cleaning woman to streamline expenses. Since then, I've noticed that several pieces of expensive, irreplaceable jewelry belonging to my parents are missing. This woman continues to work for my neighbor, and I am tempted to cross the street and confront her. But I worry that I may be making a mistake, and the jewelry is hiding in an attic trunk or basement. Barbara, Rockville Centre, N.Y. Unless your former cleaning lady turns up for work all blinged out in your granny's tiara, it's hard to imagine a confrontation helping here. Thieves are notoriously tightfisted with confessions. And you don't have a single carat of proof that she is one. It sounds as if it's been ages since you set eyes on the ancestral sparklers. You're not even absolutely sure where they were last housed. Rather than accuse her, why not ask the cleaning lady for help? Say: "I'm having a devil of a time finding my heirloom jewelry. Do you remember seeing it? If she doesn't, ask: "Could you help me look?" Who knows: a fresh pair of eyes, like the proverbial new broom, may sweep clean and spot the jewelry right off the bat. (And check all coat pockets - especially the old ones. That's where I found my dad's favorite cuff links years after suspecting that the lovely woman who changes my sheets had pilfered them.) Love the One You're With I am a middle-aged woman dating a middle-aged guy. We met on Match.com and have been seeing each other since February. We spend weekends together and another night during the week. He says he likes me, but doesn't want to date me exclusively. But isn't it reasonable for him to stay off Match when we're together? I sense he checks the Web site as soon as I leave the room. Should I bring this up? Anonymous One of the biggest problems with online dating (aside from married daters, time-wasters and folks who post pictures from 26 years ago) is that the world can come to resemble a candy store of endlessly available men and women. It is not. And even if it were, who wants to think that our dates are always looking over our shoulders for tastier Gummi Bears? Air your concerns. Four months together isn't exactly the Queen's Diamond Jubilee, but it's not four minutes, either. If your beau doesn't aspire to exclusivity (or see his way there with you), better to know now. Some quiet night, ask: "Do you see us closing down our Match.com accounts anytime soon?" As for his logging in when you're together, don't accuse (because you don't really have the goods). Just say, "Can we agree to keep off the site and not message other daters when we're together?" If he can't make even that minimal gesture, it may be time to log him out of your life. The Paper Chase My boss asked me about some notes she remembered giving me to type. I had no recollection of them, but checked my desk and told her I didn't have them. The next morning, I found papers scattered all over my desk. My boss told me that she had been looking for the notes. I find this incredibly invasive. Don't I have a right to privacy when it comes to my work space? E. P., Fort Worth Actually, no - or only a limited one, which is why drug runners and fencers of stolen electronics rarely stash their loot in unlocked cubicles. I agree that your boss was invasive. But be careful. You owe her a measure of respect (and a hissy fit may get you fired). Wait until she is in a relaxed (and minimally caffeinated) state and say: "I understand you wanted those notes. But I had already told you I didn't have them. I'd love it if you could respect my space as much as I respect yours. Caveat: If your boss bears any resemblance to Charlize Theron in "Snow White and the Huntsman," let this go - and steer way clear of those sharp metal fingernail extensions.