Euro 2012: Why Manchester United defender Rio Ferdinand is England's real danger man And who's this lucky fellow who's been given the chance to train with the England squad, possibly after winning some sort of school letter-writing competition? Is that Martin Kelly, aged 22, of Whiston, Merseyside? It is, you know. It's not their fault, of course. It's simply their misfortune to have been playing during English football's most fallow era for two decades, at a time when international football has never seemed so superfluous. When England caps are so undesirable not even Ben Foster wants one, you know the lustre of pulling on the Three Lions jersey has waned. Winstone odds-on to annoy In order to counteract the rise of the betting exchange, traditional bookmakers have had to innovate. I use the term loosely. What you generally see, then, as soon as Adrian Chiles cuts to a break, is the disembodied head of Ray Winstone with the latest in-play odds, reminding us that we can bet on almost any aspect of the game, from the time of the final goal to the number of corners. It is a measure of the campaign's effectiveness that I am unable to recall which bookmaker it is advertising. Perhaps my insight is somewhat lacking in this regard, but I have never been so utterly convinced of the number of corners that would occur during a game that I felt an urge to burnish my hunch with money. If I were, I feel certain I would be using my powers of clairvoyance to protect Third World villages from natural disaster, or thwart criminal masterminds. Perhaps I've missed the point. A little local difficulty At some stage, you may sally forth from your home or your place of work to watch the game in the pub. Big mistake. Consider the scene. England have just scored a vital last-minute goal against Ukraine and the place is practically exploding with noise. But let's freeze the picture a moment. Say there are 100 people in the pub; 10 will be in the toilet, around 20 will be at the bar, spinning round just a fraction too late to see the ball ricochet off Andy Carroll's backside. At least 40 will be watching from such an acute or obstructed angle that they may as well have been watching the goal on an iPhone spinning around in a tumble dryer. Five more will have been betting in-play. Which means if you go to the pub and something interesting happens, you have a 25 per cent chance of catching it. Best to stay at home and watch it on ITV HD. Your chances of actually seeing anything would surely be at least double that. Terry's trophy heartache Suspend your disbelief! England have won Euro 2012! But, alas, Terry has got himself sent off for calling Xavi a ""midget"" and is unable to pick up his medal. Can anybody think of a fate more perfect than Rio Ferdinand going up to collect it for him?