The Downside of Dressing Sexy My older sister is 17, and we've always had a pretty good relationship. At school, kids have started saying mean things about her because of the way she dresses, like "What a tramp!" and other things that are not true. The thing is, she is dressing sexier than she used to, and sexier than the other girls, by far. This problem is only going to get worse if she wears the dress she just bought for prom. My parents are totally clueless. Should I talk to them about this? Matt You may be the best younger sibling since Phoebe Caulfield in "Catcher in the Rye." If you haven't read it, promise me you will. And your sister is lucky to have you. Let's leave your parents out of this for now. Something tells me that you are the best candidate for helping your sister. She may be looking for attention (and sometimes, negative attention can feel better than none at all) or she may be spreading new wings (a little too wide), which young folks are apt to do. After dinner, but before you launch your first Angry Bird, speak with Sis. This may sound corny, but tell her what you love about her. Is she smart, funny, fierce, kind - maybe a combo platter? Then say: "But the way you're dressing is throwing people off track. All they see is tight tops and short skorts, and I want them to notice what's really great about you. It may work, or she may not be interested in your two cents. Still, you'll have done her a good turn. One caveat: If the teasing at school seems like bullying, head straight for your parents. My hunch is that your sister is going through a phase. And as Holden says: "We all go through phases and all, don't we?" Mi Ashtray es Su Ashtray We are about to move from a single-family home to a town house. During a visit (we have yet to move in), we saw our next-door neighbor on his front porch smoking cigarettes. The smoke wafted across our porch, which was most unwelcome. How can we ask him not to smoke without ruining our chances for a neighborly relationship when we do move in? Bob, Hartsdale, N.Y. So much for a man's home being his castle (or ashtray). Do nothing until you move in. By then, you will learn how often your neighbor lights up, how troublesome his smoking really is, and whether there are any local laws or covenants to prevent it. Another reason for waiting: the "cup of sugar" principle. Why do we lend foodstuffs and appliances to our neighbors, and not strangers in the mall? Because we know we're going to see them again (and again). So we reach for better behavior. Your neighbor may be more receptive to your request once he starts seeing you day in and day out. But remember: living in a community requires compromise - which is not a solicitation for e-mail screeds about the evils of secondhand smoke. All I am saying (like John Lennon before me) is give peace a chance. Singing Their Own Tune Close friends are huge jazz fans. Six weeks ago, they accepted an invitation to our small dinner party. Last week, they called to say that their favorite performer was in town, and they had arranged for him to perform at their house that night, so they couldn't join us. I was disappointed and felt like a low priority to them. What say you? Carol, Baltimore Ouch! Unless the performer was Joni Mitchell (in which case, I would have canceled my party and begged to join theirs), I would feel exactly like you. But check out this slight variation: If the party poopers had driven to my place, prostrated themselves in apology, and convinced me that this concert was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, I would have given them a pass. You? The missing ingredient seems to be regret at canceling on you, a valuable lesson. Remorse: pass it on. Very Frequent Flier I am a 66-year-old woman and have worked as a flight attendant for 43 years. I am educated and multidimensional, but the job has a lingering stereotype of attracting brainless sexpots. How should I reply when people ask me how long I've been flying? I think they want me to apologize for being old. Pat, Carmel, Calif. Two flight paths: You may generously deflect the ageist flavor of the question with a statement of competence. Don't worry, I have plenty of experience. Or you can give your interrogators a little slap. If you're implying I'm old, you'd better keep an eye on your flotation device. For help with your awkward situation, send a question to SocialQ@nytimes.com or SocialQ on Facebook. You can also address your queries on Twitter to @SocialQPhilip. Please include a daytime phone number.