Slowing Down a Quick Hookup I am a single gay man in a city full of gay men, and I'm not having enough sex. So I downloaded the Grindr app to find guys near me who are looking to hook up. The problem is, after I find a promising guy and we meet for a date, I feel awkward launching right into sex. So I beg off, and the other guy tends to get angry. Any ideas about what to say to end things on a nicer note? Anonymous, New York A little sexual repression is not a terrible thing. It lets us keep up to date with Shakespeare in the Park and Rihanna's latest kerfuffles. It also protects us from the grisly fate of Diane Keaton's character in "Looking for Mr. Goodbar." Carving knife, anyone? Don't begrudge your reticence about jumping into bed with strangers. Still, put yourself in the other guy's shoes. Grindr is famous for connecting men who are hot to trot right now. In fact, to cut down on nettlesome commutes, the app orders prospective dates by proximity, sometimes in mere feet. So consider how perplexing your excuse sounds to these gentlemen ("I'm not comfortable sleeping together right away") after using an app that is designed to facilitate precisely that. The answer here is not a magic exit line. Your solution is sharing your reluctance about sex-on-the-double before you meet these guys, not after. You may be better suited to more traditional dating options. You can always propose coffee dates to the men on Grindr, and good luck with that. But there are plenty of slower-going online forums - not to mention the gym and produce aisle of your local market, which worked like charms as mating grounds in the predigital age. Waiting Game Is Over My husband and I are new in town, and had an acquaintance and her husband in for dinner. It was a nice evening. The wife spoke of reciprocating, and asked me to e-mail her some dates when we're free. I said that we are free most weekends next month, hoping that she would offer specific dates. She hasn't, and I haven't e-mailed her any dates because it feels uncomfortable to me. Do you think she likes the idea of hosting but doesn't actually want to commit? Katie, Allentown, Pa. Anything's possible, including your suspicion that your new pal doesn't really want to cook a pork roast for you and will simply claim another engagement on any date you propose. Like you, I prefer specific invitations. They feel more real, and I can ... well, claim another engagement if I don't want to go. But let's face it: you're new in town and not likely to circulate much if you stand on ceremony. Send her the next three Saturdays you're free, and see what happens. You'll probably be tucking your chair under her dining table in no time. And if your darker suspicions are true, you'll know that soon enough. Otherwise, you're just waiting there in Allentown - and Billy Joel has already taken that line. Cue the Laugh Track My therapist is working with me on early childhood memories. But he says "in vitro" when referring to the time before my birth, instead of "in utero." It's hard not to giggle. May I point out I wasn't a test-tube baby without being rude? Anonymous, California Nothing disrupts my memories of the trip down my ma's birth canal quite like a malapropism. So knock yourself out. Correct your shrink politely - and let him know whenever he's distracting you from the real work of your therapy. He would probably be upset if you didn't. Napkin Niceties Once seated at dinner, when does one place the napkin in one's lap, before or after the food arrives? Ross Estes Blum, Berkeley, Calif. At restaurants, put your napkin in your lap as soon as you sit down. But in private homes (like Southfork in the rebooted "Dallas"), wait until your hostess unfurls her napkin, then follow suit. And would you mind asking what happened to Victoria Principal's Pam Ewing?