Janet Christie: School shoe trouble I thought I'd stolen a march buying them last term, but hadn't reckoned on her swapping one with a friend and the pair of them losing track. So it's back to school in odd shoes, both black pumps, granted, but one with a bow, one without. "It's a good look," she says. Grrrr. The shame. Which is why we're traipsing around in Edinburgh festival-end torrential rain to the shop my friend had recommended for a bargain. These are very fashionable. I like these," she says, trying a pair on. They fit, miraculously, as she has a strong foot base (aka fat feet). "Very nice," she trills. But they're plastic. I should have leather. Plastic makes my feet smell. Let's go back to John Lewis - they have wider fittings," she says authoritatively. So, it's all the way back down the Bridges, taking a ticket and waiting so long that her feet grow another half size. All the shoes are too narrow. I feel tears welling. "Aw, poor mum," she says. Look, we've saved £40. Let's go and see a show! Oh, what the hell. We splash out on an hour of tapdancing/beatboxing instead and I forget the shoe hell. "That was just amazing," she says as we emerge into the rain. And you know what the best thing was? Those tap shoes. Can I have a pair?