Social Q's - An Unfit Friend on a Fitness Excursion I am inviting several friends on a week's vacation abroad, all expenses paid. All of the guests (but one) are extremely fit, and I'm planning lots of hiking and biking. But I fear that the unfit guest, who is also needy, will ask others to stay behind with her, depriving them of wonderful experiences. The villa has a pool and is near the village, so she should be able to entertain herself. May I discourage her from asking others to keep her company, or ask guests to take turns baby-sitting, or should I let the chips fall where they may? Anonymous I assume your unfit guest will also be punished by taking her meals in solitary confinement, San Quentin-style? You are being extremely generous. But one of the trickiest roads for good hosts to walk (or hike and bike, in your case) is seeing to guests" needs without being Control Queens (and Kings) over their every intake of breath. Making the guest list is your call, as is the menu of recommended activities. But corralling folks into forced exercise for seven days crosses the line to Bossy Boots. Personally, the prospect of a quiet week on a comfy chaise, reading the Patrick Melrose novels by day and dining with pals by night, sounds like heaven. But if you're worried that your sedentary guest will feel lonely, perhaps you should invite a companion for her. Or if you notice one sympathetic soul repeatedly sacrificing hikes to keep her company, volunteer to stay back yourself. You can even elect not to invite the unfit woman. Just don't make guests feel uncomfortable about their fitness levels - or as if they're your bought-and-paid-for marionettes. Leading Questions When I go out in the evening, one of the first questions men ask is: "What do you do?" I respond that I'm a lawyer and leave it at that. Their follow-up comment is usually that I must make big bucks, along with an impressed expression. Then the mood shifts, and the guys become passive, as if they expect me to take the lead. How can I honestly communicate what I do, but also let men know that I appreciate Rhett Butler's Southern manners? Jenna, Jacksonville, Fla. Frankly, my dear, I don't give ... well, never mind. The best way to level the playing field when folks feel outclassed by our profession or earnings (not that I have much experience with this) is by showing an interest in them in return. Ask these new fellows what they do. Then pose a follow-up question (or three). These gents may be mistaking your terseness about being a lawyer for a superior attitude. Counteract it by being as kind and caring as Olivia de Havilland in the role of Melanie Wilkes. Disposable Income My sister-in-law and her family stayed in our home for seven weeks while we were away. The garbage disposal, which worked fine when we left, broke. And the plumber billed them $600 to replace it. My in-law wrote that she would be prepared to split the cost with me, because the plumber found problems that seemed to predate their stay. I am outraged. We did not charge them anything for their use of our home or car. But I am willing to split the cost for family harmony. Or should I say something? Liz, Boston On your theory, your in-laws are lucky the roof didn't cave in, or you would expect them to replace it. House sitters are not generally responsible for capital improvements. And if you wanted rent, you should have asked. You also didn't specify why your in-laws took up residence. Are they broke, and were you being generous? In which case, a $600 outlay may be hard for them. Or did you want a house sitter, and were they doing you a favor? And don't forget the learned plumber's opinion: they weren't solely responsible. If money were no object (though it always is), your in-laws might have generously paid for a new disposal. But offering to split the cost doesn't seem offensive. You'll be disintegrating leftovers for years with your new one. Perhaps you can picture your sister-in-law's face in the sink when you turn it on. For help with your awkward situation, send a question to SocialQ@nytimes.com or SocialQ on Facebook. You can also address your queries on Twitter to @SocialQPhilip. Please include a daytime phone number.