Chilli and the polar bare Apparently very few pole dancers live the wild life. THE lights are low and I am clad in sequins. I'm attemping to stick my legs above my head in a move known as the "hello boys." I think I need to see an orthopaedic surgeon. I am not your average pole dancer. I'm not card-carrying, but I'd probably describe myself as a feminist. Women in sparkly bikinis gyrating around a pole is not my idea of female emancipation. But when a pole-dancing friend organised a night out for a group of thirty-something mums who'd last seen a cocktail when Tom Cruise mixed it up on the big screen, I thought it would be a laugh. "Sexy pussies night out" was the tongue-in-cheek name of the Facebook event. I joined. Immediately, 324 friends including my grandfather were informed that 'Natasha Robinson joined the event 'Sexy Pussies Night Out'.' I'd thought the event was private. In a panic I contacted our organiser, Natalie, a dairy enthusiast who had hosted many successful cheese-tasting evenings for her coterie of girlfriends, known as the Cheesy Pussies. She promised to convert the event to covert status. I let it be known that the tagging of any photographic legspreads was strictly banned. An Amazonian redhead, alias of Ryder, greeted us at the door, bearing champagne. She's a scientist in real life, studying for a PhD in chemistry. She was saying something but my head was positioned in line with her abdominals and I couldn't look away. I seized the glass before being directed to a pile of obscene lingerie. I'd been instructed to wear high heels together with something short so your legs could grip the pole. Channeling Marilyn Monroe, I'd opted for full-brief Nancy Gatz control undies. Not really the look pole dancers go for. I chose the most conservative set of sequins I could find - a miniskirt that barely covered my bum cheeks. Three hundred and sixty degrees of mirrors surrounded the gathered ladies - a teacher, a psychologist, a graphic designer, two stay-at-home mums and a triathlete. 'Chilli' led the class, beginning with an anecdote of how she was doing the "wild thing" with a prominent sportsperson. Judging from her pelvic rotation, I concluded the descriptor was most likely accurate. But apparently very few pole dancers live the wild life. The ABC's 7:30 program featured a case in point this week, telling the story of 'Minx', a medical doctor, PhD graduate and dux of her school who started pole dancing to inject a bit of balance into her life . Her conservative Asian parents were all for it, installing a pole in her grandma's room at home. Some ABC viewers were disgusted by the story. But Minx's folks want a copy of the DVD to send to their relatives in China. Tiger mums really have moved with the times. As for me, I'll stick with the Cheesy Pussies.