Heather Garriock struggles to realise her Rio dream Heather Garriock with her partner Mathieu Louchart and 14-month-old daughter Kaizen. There was a silver lining for Heather Garriock after the Matildas missed qualification for the London Olympics in late 2011. Approaching her 29th birthday and having rarely had a break since first representing Australia as a 16-year-old in 1999, Garriock and partner Mathieu Louchart realised they had a brief window to begin a new part of their lives together. "We thought it would be a good time to have a baby," she says. There was an opportunity there and I thought I didn't want to be 35 and try to squeeze in three kids in the space of a couple of years. Cup dreams: Heather Garriock playing for the Matildas in 2011. Had the Matildas played in London, Garriock says she would have "probably been satisfied with that" and perhaps moved on from international football to start a family. But her competitive streak took over. After playing in three Women's World Cups, two Olympic Games and in leagues in Europe and the US, the Western Sydney Wanderers captain felt there was "unfinished business" and set her sights on Rio de Janeiro in 2016. Since the birth of daughter Kaizen in October last year, Garriock's dream has been "to play for the Matildas and have my lovely family on the sideline." However, that dream, the star midfielder says, is becoming a nightmare. She has met the huge physical challenge of returning to peak condition with typical determination. But seemingly beyond her reach has been the support of officialdom for her position as a new mother. Such is her frustration over what she feels is procrastinating by administrators, one of Australia's most experienced footballers fears she may be forced into retirement because of her decision to have a baby. "I know a lot of people will say 'It's your own choice to have a child'," the 31-year-old says. But why should we miss out? Males can go on with their sporting careers and start a family. Women just need a bit more support from the networks around them. Garriock claims she approached Football Federation Australia while pregnant to seek clarity about an official position on travelling with the Matildas while caring for an infant. She says she made FFA aware that if she were to return to the national side, she would need financial assistance so she could have Kaizen and a carer join her on tours. FFA began work on the issue, but Garriock remains in limbo. "My daughter's 14 months old now, I fell pregnant two years ago," she says. That's a long time in which they could have done something. FFA say they're in the middle of writing their child policy. But why are they still writing it? They seem to be refusing to get on with it. It's been a debacle. It's been a nightmare trying to get support from the federation, just to help a female athlete coming back from having a baby. Garriock says new national coach Hesterine de Reus and her Matildas teammates have been supportive but the situation is out of their hands. Her anxiety is growing because next year the Matildas will spend nearly three months on the road, a period of time she cannot spend away from her toddler. She estimates the cost of a nanny from now until the team's defence of the Asian Cup in Vietnam in May would be about $20,000, including travel to the Cyprus Cup in March. "It's nothing really for a big organisation," she says. But it's a lot for a family. I'm caught between a rock and a hard place now. If there was plenty of money, I'd just keep going. But there's not. I'm trying to work out how to be a mother and juggle all that. It's going to be very difficult. I just think there needs to be a child policy so we have some kind of boundaries in place, not just for me, but for any female footballers who want to have a baby and come back. Former Matildas captain Melissa Barbieri, like Garriock a long-time national representative, has also battled since having a baby. Barbieri went public last month about having to sell her memorabilia to fund her move to Adelaide to play in the W-League after she failed to regain a Matildas contract following the birth of her first child. Garriock fell pregnant with Kaizen five months before Barbieri, early last year, and her Matildas contract ran out in June, leaving her with no income beyond the government baby bonus. When she was selected for a Matildas tour to the US in October she had to rely on financial assistance from the Professional Footballers Association. Adam Vivian, general manager of the PFA, confirmed the association met expenses for Kaizen and Garriock's mother, who acted as carer. "We've offered whatever support we can and we'll continue to do so," Vivian said. We've been working with FFA regarding a parental policy but unfortunately it's still in draft form. Vivian said the issue was one of "gender equity in sport." "Sport is a precarious life, especially if you're a female athlete and you fall pregnant," he said. I've worked very closely with Heather over the last little while. She's very passionate about her football and being an elite athlete. She's passionate about being a mum as well. But Heather won't be the first or last to give birth and come back to an elite status and she shouldn't be looked upon unfavourably in any way just because she's a mum. Several athletes returned to top level sport after having a baby, including basketball captain Rachael Sporn, netball captain Sharelle McMahon and hurdler Jana Pittman. In 2003, a landmark decision by a federal magistrate found that former Adelaide Ravens player Trudy Gardner had been discriminated against when she was banned by Netball Australia from playing while pregnant. During the case, the Australian Sports Commission produced guidelines for the federal government on pregnancy and athletes, which stated that women must sign disclaimers to continue competing but excluding them was discriminatory. However, policy on support post-pregnancy is often unofficially decided within teams or through negotiation with governing bodies. In the US, elite women footballers have benefited since 1996 from the kind of framework Garriock is advocating, with official rules encouraging player-parents to bring their children on tour. And, crucially, US Soccer covers expenses for the children and nannies. "US Soccer considers this an important element to help those players with children to continue to contribute," a team spokesperson told the Los Angeles Times last year. It allows the players to concentrate on their job of playing soccer without having to be away from their kids for a long period of time or worry about how they're going to be able to balance their family and career while being on the road during training camp. A FFA spokesman said Australia's official approach was that children and nannies were permitted to travel with national teams but expenses would not be covered. If she had the money, like the multimillionaire Socceroos, Garriock says she would bring her partner along to look after Kaizen. But it is not an option as Louchart, who manages a Sydney landscaping business, is the main breadwinner. "I cannot take time off because it costs us," Louchart says. It's good that she plays for her passion. But the way things are, we cannot follow her passion together. Garriock says a child policy is necessary to "pave the way for every other female footballer coming through." She says that as long as earnings remain petty in women's football and there is no support or security for young mothers in the game, players will continue to leave football early. "The top few players can make a decent salary playing in Europe or the US and coming back to play in the W-League," she says. But once that stops, you have to retire. Girls have to leave to start careers, buy a house and start a family. Not many stay in the game as long as I have. Garriock hopes her final act will be representing Australia in Rio with her family watching. "It's not that I don't like challenges," she says. I like to work hard. But I think, with a little bit more support, things could be a lot easier. That's what I'm after as much as possible, so I can continue on.