PIERS MORGAN: Sean Penn's a whirlwind of intensity and passion The text message was intriguing: "Want to come to a small private house party and meet the Haiti Prime Minister?" asked Sean Penn. I befriended Hollywood's most firebrand actor after several interviews. He's an extraordinary whirlwind of intensity and passion, on and off screen. But great fun, too. But great fun "Love to," I replied. Tonight, I arrived at a luxurious West Hollywood home owned by former child star actress Soleil Moon Frye. And previously owned, it transpired, by John Malkovich. (I was given a guided tour of the vast Roman-style bathroom he personally designed. Boy,, that guy knows how to relax.) The Haitian PM, Laurent Lamothe, was an impressive man - he's driven through a series of bold initiatives to try and pull the country out of the chaos caused by the 2010 earthquake. But it was double Oscar-winner Penn who impressed me even more. After he spoke powerfully and eloquently about what more needs to be done, I asked him, "How much time have you spent in Haiti?" Two of the last four years. The Haitian PM, Laurent Lamothe, was an impressive man I can't think of a single celebrity who has ever devoted more of their physical time to a cause like that. Particularly when they could be earning £10 million a movie instead. He told a hilarious story about the notorious former Haitian dictator Papa Doc Duvalier. He was urged to attack America by some of his advisors, on the basis that, after they won, the Americans would then pay for reconstruction of the country as they did with Germany and Japan. He thought for a few seconds, then shook his head and said, "I can't risk this." "When his henchmen asked why, he explained: "Because we might win the war!"" Penn fell about laughing. That shows you the incredible, unique, fighting spirit of the Haitian people. You could say the same about Sean. He was involved in an angry clash last week with a guy trying to take his photo in a hotel bar. I asked. This guy was taking sneak pictures of me, so I told him I wasn't in a zoo, and that if he was hungry, I'd shove his ******* camera down his throat... He stopped, and laughed. I can't help myself sometimes. We talked movies. "Jack Nicholson's my hero," I said. What's he like? Sean smiled. He's a great guy. I persuaded him to do a few days" work on a film with me once, and we went out drinking one night to a local LA bar. At 1am, a beautiful young Latino girl came up to Jack and asked if he'd like to dance. He stared at her, smirked and said: "Wrong verb, baby..."" This is one of those famous anecdotes that I always assume are apocryphal. You actually heard him say that? "I was standing next to him," smiled Sean. Jack has a way with words... Jeremy Clarkson popped up on The Graham Norton Show tonight, and called me a "waste of blood and organs." "That," I retorted via Twitter, "is like being called thick by Joey Essex." A few hours later, Mr Essex - currently residing in the I'm A Celebrity jungle - replied (presumably via a third party): "Your thick." I rest my case. Another jungle inmate, Matthew Wright - an old friend and colleague - has attracted considerable comment, good, and bad. Wayne Rooney tweeted tonight: "This Matthew in I'm A Celeb is really doing my head in. Snake. "He's in a jungle," I replied. What's he supposed to be - a whale? "U should go in there, u might lose some weight," came the response. Ouch. Penalty, ref! I can't say I know Nigella Lawson well. But I'm friends with her brother Dominic, and was friendly with her first husband John, a great character and terrific journalist until his tragic, untimely death from throat cancer. More from Piers Morgan... But Nigella, perhaps appropriately, did figure in the greatest meal of my life. It was with BBC news legends Jeremy Bowen and Sophie Raworth - starting at the Ivy restaurant at 12.30pm, and ending in a Soho rickshaw at 2am. Throughout the day, as more and more wine was sunk, we were joined by a bizarre mix of luminaries, including actress Emma Noble and her then boyfriend James Major (this was the night his father John's affair with Edwina Currie was revealed - James had no idea) and Adam Faith with his young lover (he died soon afterwards, in bed with her, allegedly uttering the last, immortal words: "God, Channel 5 is s***, isn't it?"). In the corner for much of it, at "their" table, sat Nigella and Charles Saatchi. They seemed incredibly happy together - giggling, holding hands, even exchanging the odd tender kiss. So I was as shocked as anyone when all these latest scandalous revelations spewed into the public domain. Nobody knows the inner workings of a marriage. But I do know this: Nigella lost her mum at 47, her sister at 32, and her husband at 48. All to cancer. If she turned to drugs to escape the hideous pain of all this grief, who could blame her? A survey reveals the ten most annoying people of 2013 - as voted by the great British public. I came seventh, beating Katie Hopkins, Harry Styles and Luis Suarez. But missing out to Lady Gaga, Kim Kardashian, Helen Flanagan, Russell Brand, Miley Cyrus and the winner, Justin Bieber. I'm encouraged by the fact that half my co-annoyees are dollar billionaires. There's clearly big money in being exceedingly irritating. Send your Twitter questions about the rich, famous and infamous to @piersmorgan using the hashtag #askpiers - and every week I'll answer the most amusing