12 weird Christmas gift ideas from eBay Regular shopping is for silly beardless people. CHRISTMAS shopping is the pits. Every mall in the country is packed with rude customers and downtrodden employees in Santa hats. Every store is blaring that one Christmas carol you really hate. Screw all of that. Do your holiday shopping on eBay. It's cheaper, easier and you can do it all in your pyjamas. Here are some ideas to get you going. He came back from the dead to be on your bread. This toaster will burn Jesus's face onto every slice, giving you a breakfast that feeds your soul as much as your body. Cumberbatch seems to have a special talent for attracting psycho stalkers, and with this "cuttings pack," you can be one of them. The condition is listed as "used," which creeps us out A LOT. You could plaster a whole bedroom wall with these babies. Hey there sports fan. This lamp was used in the London 2012 Olympic Village and has "the authentic seal of approval." It's a hotter item than Ian Thorpe's old Speedo. It will brighten your life. A Giant African land snail grows to a length of about 18cm, which naturally makes it the perfect childhood pet. Just make sure your kids wash their hands after touching it. It might look impressive, but this snail still moves slower than your grandpa. Everyone needs a good incense burner. Obviously. We're not sure why this one has a face, but that seems to set it apart from the competition. This incense holder won Movember. These dentures used to belong to someone else, and that person probably suffered from diseases you've never heard of. On the other hand, vintage is totally in right now. They're just a little worn, that's all. This one's a bargain at less than $20. Mount the head on your wall, press a button and let it serenade you. There's a clip of it singing on YouTube if you're not sold yet. You'd be angry too if you were stuck on a wall. This guy, Geoff Capes, won a few major shot put titles in his time. He did so with grace, style and a forest of facial hair that would even make fiercely mustachioed Mitchell Johnson cower in fear. Geoff's rugged visage can be all yours for just $12. The beard to end all beards. We have no idea how kids sleep at night anymore. This abomination is called a "Moshi Monster," and it will give us nightmares for years to come. What has this thing been smoking? The seller says this Pringles machine would be "perfect for your club or pub if you've got one," but we think it could work in a loungeroom as well. Keep it fully stocked and you'll never have to cook dinner again. Once you pop ... We're pretty sure this is cursed. It looks cursed. But if you were a bit of a punk in your younger days, it might be a nice addition to the mantelpiece. The mohawk is a classy touch. He's more of a punk than your 14-year-old son. If you know a Game of Thrones fan who can't stand our Prime Minister, you simply must buy them this T-shirt. Otherwise you're as bad as Joffrey. A summer child wouldn't get this reference.