The TV Week with Dianne Butler Highlights of the TV week ahead. DIANNE Butler previews the TV week ahead including Elementary, The Good Wife, The Block: All Stars and Parenthood. Channel 9, 8.40pm TONIGHT'S dead body turns up on a golf course. Found by a guy named Chip. Nice one. Patrick Jane needs the diversion of a murder, he's starting to obsess about new Red John angles. Lem McVie, the victim, was in a gang, but the CBI rule that connection out pretty quickly, especially when they find out he'd moved into a bigger shark pool - he'd become a real estate agent. The agency was also the kind of place that takes on people who can't readily get work elsewhere. You'll pick the killer, maybe, but that's not why you watch this show. It's to watch Simon Baker. Fpur stars HOW to make a couple happy: 1. Separate bathrooms. No joint shopping trips. Now let's see what this show says. The four couples here are described as being in crisis. They're all arguing about directions as they're driving to where they're staying, which, I don't know, seems completely normal to me. But they've all scored below 40 on the "happiness" scale. Over 60 is happy. Below 40 - call the lawyer. SBS One, 7.30pm I'M surprised more cooking shows don't go to Darwin really. Long way - hassle, budget - but the food influences: Thai, Indonesian, Malaysian, Greek. Herbs are the thing in Darwin, you can grow anything. One woman Maeve meets makes her a cha-om omelet - she grows the cha-om between her mangoes. You'll see some fantastic food. Mudcrab. Octopus. Toffee bananas you can make in two seconds. Fox Footy, 6.30pm (QLD 5.30pm) OBVIOUSLY some massive shocks here pre-season. First up, the allegations about calf's blood. I was trying to talk someone down during the week, a sports guy, and I basically said look, it's no more than what half the women of Sydney put in their face every month. I think I was a big help. The big news in footy though is that Colling-wood (coached by Nathan Buckley, left), is leaving Melbourne to play a game of football. Next weekend in Perth. Tonight's game is at Etihad and features Colling-wood v Essendon v Western Bulldogs. Soho, 7.30pm (QLD 6.30pm) SO if you've ever thought you should have had a look at this show, here's your chance - episode one. Press record. To recap: someone with a beard, a dead wolf, the daughter doesn't want to marry the guy but she has to, she steps in scalding water but doesn't notice, she gets a white horse which I'm pretty sure isn't code for heroin despite her vagueness, and a sister and brother have sex. Soho, 9.35pm (QLD 8.30pm) AND if you've never watched this show either, now's a great time to get on - the start of season four, with Lucy Liu joining the cast as Officer Jessica Tang, the new partner of John Cooper, a cop who's returning after back surgery. There's a shootout tonight, but she's not involved, and I get the feeling when she does have to draw her gun there'll be Consequences. Because of Officer Tang's Issues. THE greatest animals to walk on Earth are in Africa, according to David Attenborough. I don't know. Koala? Kangaroo? Polar bear? Tiger? Komodo dragon? They're all great, it's not a competition. Tonight, in the Kalahari - which Attenborough describes as the oldest and strangest corner of Africa - you'll see drongos (seriously), meerkats, lions, elephants, and leopards. You'll be glad the TV takes up one side of your house. I don't know if I was happy about witnessing it, but there's an incredible power struggle between giraffes at the end. It's always about the water. I HOPE you're ready. Chris Brown eases us into it with a Tasmanian devil who's hurt his leg. Then it begins: Lisa Chimes - over at SASH, the small animal hospital - is with Gypsy, a distressed german shepherd who won't eat. And then this: Chris goes to Coffs Harbour to see if Bucky's cancer has come back. Greg, a marine animal trainer, found Bucky hurt on a sand bank and has been with him since - 42 years ago. AMIEL'S funeral. The third prisoner of war. The guilt ... I mean, there's always plenty of Jewish guilt so you can only imagine how Nimrod and Uri are feeling. The wrong people cry and things happen that shouldn't. Amiel's sister Yael hasn't met Uri and Nimrod 'til now, even though they feel so close. She doesn't look too flash and doesn't feel better when she sees Amiel standing there graveside smiling at her. Two and a half stars IF Sister Evangelina was prime minister she'd shut down the Quality Street factory. Here it is, the treacly Christmas Special, and she's saying this. When there's snow and it's East London in the 1950s and people are leaving day-old babies on the step of the convent and there's a sound called The Workhouse Howl that only people who have less than no hope make. So they need their Quality Street treats. And their free insulin. Cubby is putting on the nativity play, with the local cubs, and the mayor is coming. But Jenny is concerned about Mrs Jenkins, a derelict who keeps calling her Rosie. SHERLOCK'S been following the Balloon Man case since it began, and he knows one thing - the London papers would've come up with a better name than the Balloon Man. He took his seventh victim last night, a girl from Queens - Sherlock heard it come in on his police scanner. He's called in straight away, and it's not nearly as open and shut as it first looks. Surely he can't be smarter than Sherlock Holmes. Channel 10, 7pm CLAIRE'S building her son a sporting field. Would you define this as helicopter mom behaviour? (Cameron, at the ground: "What did we learn from A League of Their Own?" Claire: "There's no crying in baseball." Cameron: "No, that Madonna's a lousy actress"). And this week's lesson in real estate is: yet to be gleaned. The neighbour's house is for sale. She bought it in 1962, and Claire and Cameron see profit. Five stars WHAT if Dr Arden really is a Nazi scientist re-housed in America with a new identity? It would explain why he loves experiments so much. What a role for James Cromwell. The Nazi hunter is played by Uncle Tio from Breaking Bad, minus his wheelchair and annoying bell. Poor "Anne Frank," whoever she is. And poor tragic Shelley - Chloe Sevigny - who's had her legs cut off and, who knows what else, done to her. And now Sister Jude is going to sterilise Kit, who either is or isn't a vicious killer of women. Dr Thredson is more determined than ever to get Lana out of Briarcliff. Tonight. Channel 10, 4.30pm ERIC'S got Stephanie's tribute they shot at her party and he was going to show it to her but now he's not sure, it's her last episode and he doesn't want to upset her. Pam, who's insane, suggests he have a look at it and then decide. He gets to Brooke's bit and has to pause it because it's "way too emotional." All right for him - Brooke's alone with Stephanie in the mountains and Stephanie's about to die. Channel 7, 9.45pm BARNEY'S got a dog. He's still reeling from his breakup with Quinn, Robin thinks, otherwise why the dog? Robin wants to have him over for dinner, cheer him up (her boyfriend Nick has his own cooking show on cable). Ted and Victoria are all but finished as well, if you ask Lily and Marshall. Victoria's the one Ted knew years earlier and then six months ago swooped in on as she was on her way to her wedding. CAN a life have any meaning without underfloor heating in the bathroom? It's a question that's plagued society since Socrates and Dani from The Block 2012. Josh and Jenna are doing mosaics ("A couple of hours," somebody estimates laying time - hopefully the tiler) while "maintaining the heritage features and mixing them with modern and minimalist touches," says Josh, with mad hair. These are the biggest bathrooms in Block history, Scott Cam tells us. Phil of Phil and Amity expresses an ill-defined emotion about people coming into his house and he doesn't know who they are. Reminder: it's not his house. THE entire family, even Kristina who has breast cancer, turns up at the police station when Zeek, their father, gets arrested for making an illegal U-turn. Plus he's driving with an expired licence. His children think he's losing his mind. Kristina has got her surgery soon. She keeps fiddling with the date, mainly because of Max, who's worked up because his school has taken away the snack vending machine. Very worked up. TED'S bedside lamp's on the blink. Plus he's losing his mind. Why not just fix it himself, using tools he finds in the shed? Great idea. Julie, still, thinks her father's fine. She interferes in every aspect of her children's life yet when the doctor arrives to talk to her father, she leaves the room. At least Frankie should be out of her hair soon - she's now hot for Coby, Dave's nephew. Nothing tenser. Das Boot. 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea. McHale's Navy. And now Last Resort, a throwback to the kind of action thriller Harrison Ford was making before he got his ear pierced. It's also got elements of Heart of Darkness. And Lost. So they're 150 metres down, there's been some hijinks, nostalgia and now - what's this? An order to nuke Pakistan? The captain (Andre Braugher) senses something's amiss, and gets into a to-do over the phone with the Pentagon. Then things turn very bad. And just who are these Navy SEALs they dramatically rescued at the start? NOT only is tonight the half painful/half liberating Sadie Hawkins dance - convened by the Too Young To Be Bitter club - a dance designed to give licence to the girls who don't get asked by boys to a dance. It's also the night when glee clubs everywhere lose their dewy innocence. Their Lance Armstrong/calf blood deflowering, thanks - or people won't feel thankful, not initially - to Sam and reluctant partner Blaine. NOBODY just sits down next to Eli Gold at a diner to ask for the hot sauce and by the way, how's the campaign going. The next thing we know Eli and Diane are having a meeting at the Justice Department. Campaign donations. Had to happen. The trial Alicia and Will are involved with tonight is messy - two trials for the same murder. Problems too for Kalinda and her serpentine husband. Just shoot him, dear.