Swimming Scandal Rates Low In Australian Sporting You call that a scandal? Phil Lutton examines how swimming's Stilnox crisis stacks up against some of Australian sport's more notable wildfires. Melbourne Storm salary cap Outrage factor Completely off the charts, both from fans of the Storm, who felt hard done by, and fans around the rest of the NRL, who felt cheated. And team-mates who never had a ride in the GI speedboat before it went to the dry dock. Clean up bill Minimal, apart from all the premiership points left lying around and the paint that melted from the walls while Craig Bellamy was exploding with searing rage, summoned from the pits of fiery hell. 'Indignant questions from frenzied media' potential Very high. Demanding more answers than most were the Storm's owners, News Ltd, who weren't particularly impressed with their books being diddled to the tune of $3.17 million over five years. The villain Brian Waldron. Grade 9/10 Ben Cousins and the drugs that worked Outrage factor Medium to high, if only for the dogged persistence Cousins seemed to have to end his once-brilliant career. West Coast fans were the most aggrieved, as were people with decent tattoos. Clean up bill Fairly decent. It's hard to imagine a party at Ben's place ending with a 10.30pm bed time. He also pranged his car in 2009, so add that to the invoice. 'Indignant questions from frenzied media' potential Since Cousins had a genuine issue with drugs and booze, it was hard to get too outraged at the man himself. There were opportunities to mount the high horse when questioning the Eagles or AFL about their handling of his repeated infringements. They were duly taken. The villain His tattoo artist. Grading 8/10 Nate Myles and the hallway to hell Outrage factor Less outrage, more grimace after the then Roosters forward couldn't make it back into his hotel room on the NSW Central Coast and unfortunately made a mess of things in the hallway. He was found sleeping steps on the steps at 8am. Nude. Game on. Clean up bill The cost in dollar terms wasn't through the roof. A decent mopping or carpet shampoo would have done the trick. But someone had to do the job, so the cost in emotional terms was considerable. 'Indignant questions from frenzied media' potential Medium to high. By the time Myles locked himself out, there had been a steady diet of rugby league scandals. This was another opportunity to demand answers from David Gallop, who fronted up to so many 'crisis' press conferences he literally could have done Swimming Australia's version asleep, no Stilnox required. The villain The locksmith. Sonny Bill Williams and the Bulldogs Outrage factor Turn it up to 11. Williams is a fine athlete but remains a tall, tattooed, Kiwi version of Lucifer himself to anyone remotely fond of the Canterbury Bulldogs. He broke his contract and walked out of the club and the code in 2008. Clean up bill Minimal, thankfully, although Dogs fans might bring a few effigies along when they play the Roosters this season. A dust pan and brush should be sufficient. Williams was painted as a money hungry traitor who deserted the game for the riches of European rugby. But now he's back, and really great for the game, so everyone not associated with the Bulldogs has calmed down, Frans Botha being the obvious exception. The Villain Khoder Nasser Grading 7/10 The Weapons of Mass Destruction, Batman, Stilnox and an early night Outrage factor What would Julian O'Neill think of all of this? The men's relay team had a meal, watched a movie, popped a Stilnox and ran up and down knocking on doors until 10.30 - at night. It could even be as late as 11.30pm if you believe Emily Seebohm. The horror. Clean up bill When it comes to hotel hijinks, they Weapons of Mass Destruction aren't quite up to the standard of Myles, who we must point out is now a changed man at the Titans. But who knows what kind of mess they left at the restaurant. Did they even stack their plates? Over to you, AOC. 'Indignant questions from frenzied media' potential Judging from the press conference, very high. Answers were demanded on how many pills they took, whether they were 'bonding' or 'partying' and what movie they watched. Thank God they said Batman instead of Beaches. The Villain Zolpidem Tartrate. Grading 2/10.