No shortage of characters or stories, just productions You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em; Know when to walk away and know when to run; You never count your money when you're sittin' at the table; There'll be time enough for countin' when the dealin's done; Now Ev'ry gambler knows that the secret to survivin'; Is knowin' what to throw away and knowing what to keep; 'Cause ev'ry hand's a winner and ev'ry hand's a loser; And the best that you can hope for is to die in your sleep. So goes the Kenny Rogers classic, chanted and hummed by most who bet. "Why would you be taking any notice of that mug," rasped my narrator, based on the "Melbourne" Mick Bartley character. The television series, with the first episode based on a Melbourne Cup fix, would be fictional, like Luck, the ill-fated US extravaganza produced by and starring Dustin Hoffman. It was prematurely put down supposedly because of horse injuries, but more likely the go-slow of dwindling ratings. Yes, it had faults but appealing areas: characters and a wonderful script immersed in vision that captured racecourse action and back-stretch, or stable, drama. Of course an Australian venture would need a script adviser well seasoned to the turf skulduggery plus a vivid imagination; fiction, but based on characters, such as Melbourne Mick. And Underbelly had a storyteller ... Go to the opening scene with Rogers doing The Gambler. But the narrator has to set the tone. How would you end up taking any notice of him ... he bludged a drink and bummed a cigarette, obviously not on a red-hot winning streak. Have a look outside my big bay windows. That's Sydney Harbour from Rose Bay, said to be the best aspect. You can't see my swimming pool from this angle but you'll get a good look at it when we go to the garage to view the Roller. Now, I arrived in Sydney from Melbourne in 1946 with only one pair of shoes, dancing pumps because I was looking for speed more than durability. About the only thing that Kenny Rogers's jingle got right was 'if you're gonna play the game, boy, ya gotta learn to play it right'. Certainly there are contenders for the narrator. No doubt the patriarch of a bookmaking dynasty would have supporters. The Waterhouse clan, with more than a dash of Power Without Glory intrigue, could be a ratings winner and the McHughs, Bruce and father Bill, are worthy of consideration. Perhaps a laconic racing writer, imbued with dry humour and one step ahead of the toe-cutters, the enforcers renowned for their debt-collecting technique of removing a body part for every month owed. A likely hero in this category would be cut in the mould of the late Bill Mordey. Of course jockeys come into contention. Darren Beadman needs the work and he could be billed as the Down Under Tom Cruise for overseas consumption. Alas, he couldn't be submitted to a coke-snorting scene like Gary Stevens, the champion US hoop, in Luck. Stevens may never win an Oscar but his presence gave the series a sense of authenticity. Maybe his Luck chapter lit the saddle flame because he made a comeback this year. Possibly the camera would like Glyn Schofield, with the cheeky smile, but that South African accent wouldn't do for the narrator. Considering Underbelly, a woman isn't out of the question and a Betty Lane personality would be attractive. However, as with all roles, the actor would be important. To get to the heart of Randwick's first woman trainer none less than Helen Mirren would fill the role. Luck had the benefit of Turo Escalante (John Ortiz), a South American trainer, delivering the best lines, while Nick Nolte looked the part of a battler attempting to hang on to a good horse, but was touched in the wind (voice problems). "Nolte's geezerish turn as Walter Smith was marred by his unintelligibility, as if he lost the roof of his mouth in the great tornado of 1936," wrote David Stubbs in The Guardian. Blood-and-guts trainers with the personality to carry off the narrator, going on the modern-day model, are difficult to find; too much media exposure, political correctness. Peter Moody has a certain Aussie way but we'd have to hark back to get real punch from them. Say Jim Barker, mentioned here a few weeks ago, or even Jack Denham, but they would be more co-stars than storytellers. Barker in his New Guinea days caroused with Errol Flynn. Owners and breeders will be peeved but they don't make the cut, being only bit players in general. Punters could fit the bill with a "Hollywood" George Edser type. But Edser had too many periods closer to The Gambler than Melbourne Mick. The series is about winning, which leaves only Black Caviar as a serious rival. Remember Francis The Talking Mule?