The Tony Awards Get Kinky: The New Yorker The sixty-seventh annual Antoinette Perry Awards were handed out last night, and they began with Neil Patrick Harris dissing Shia LaBeouf. "I wouldn't be here if someone else hadn't passed on hosting." The big winners were "Kinky Boots," Cyndi Lauper and Harvey Fierstein's feel-good (or feel-exhausted) musical about a drag queen who saves a shoe factory, which beat the worthier "Matilda" for Best Musical, and Diane Paulus's ingenious Cirque-ification of Stephen Schwartz's "Pippin," which won Best Revival of a Musical. Also a winner: Neil Patrick Harris, who aced his hosting gig for the fourth year in a row, and who'll be back to host the Emmys this fall. Has no one told the Oscars about this guy? The Tony telecast is always a dicey proposition, especially if you love Broadway and don't want to see it embarrass itself. Musical theatre doesn't always translate well to television. I'm looking at you, "Smash." But, at its best, a Tony number can immortalize a show or a performance. This year's ceremony was one of the most watchable in recent memory - thanks in large part to Harris and his magic tuxedo - but it had its share of W.T.F. moments, among them a number from "The Rascals," which was allegedly a show that was on Broadway this season, although it looked more like the seventh circle of Boomer Hell. If that was the low point, the high point was probably the number in which three performers who left Broadway for television (Andrew Rannells, Megan Hilty, and Laura Benanti) sung about the perks of small-screen stardom - and about the inconvenient fact that all their series had been cancelled. Welcome back, folks! Do a Broadway show. What else happened? A look back, in multiple choice: 1) Which of the following did Neil Patrick Harris do in his opening number? a. Dangle from a giant Tony statuette b. Rhyme "orphans" with "endorphins" c. Sing a duet with Mike Tyson d. All of the above 2) Which Tony winner thanked Harvard's president, Drew Faust? Christopher Durang (Best Play, "Vanya and Sonia and Masha and Spike") b. Diane Paulus (Best Director of a Musical, "Pippin") c. Tracy Letts (Best Actor in a Play, "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?") d. Mike Tyson 3) Strangest pairing? Oliver Platt and Liam Neeson, as the gods of comedy and tragedy b. Scarlett Johansson and Alan Cumming, playing patty-cake backstage c. Neil Patrick Harris being licked by dog from "Annie" d. The co-presenters Michael Bloomberg and Sigourney Weaver, whose height differential reminded me of a certain magazine cover Match the acceptance-speech line with the person who said it: 4) "I can't say I wasn't practicin" in fronna the showah coytin for a coupla days." 5) "This award is a ringing endorsement of ignorance and stupidity." 6) "When I think of the moment where I stand before you, this moment, I cannot help but remember all of the thumbprints that have touched this being during the course of her career." 7) "Carmen Marc Valvo gave me this dress. Nobody else would. Dennis Kelly (Best Book, "Matilda") b. Andrea Martin (Best Featured Actress in a Musical, "Pippin") c. Cicely Tyson (Best Actress in a Play, "The Trip to Bountiful") d. Cyndi Lauper (Best Original Score, "Kinky Boots") 8) Whom did Billy Porter (Best Actor in a Musical, "Kinky Boots") describe as "the personification of true Christianity"? His mother b. Cyndi Lauper c. Harvey Fierstein d. Jesus Christ 9) Which of the following was not on Neil Patrick Harris's list of "playsicals"? "Cats on a Hot Tin Roof" b. "Children of a Lesser Godspell" c. "A Raisin in the Sunday in the Park with George" d. The Elephant Man of La Mancha Answers: 1) d. Photograph of Cyndi Lauper, by Kevin Mazur/Getty.