Sketch: Gove the butler at your service, sir Note the nose-aloft poise, the imperturbable composure, the face expressionless but for the occasional raising of the eyebrows. Note the vocabulary, engorged with polysyllabic prolixity, and the elocution, crisp as a new shirt. Note the way, after giving each of his answers at the dispatch box, he graciously dips his head, as if acknowledging his lordship's demand for another bottle of the "95. Note, above all, the simultaneous air of deference and superiority. Today, Gove the butler was endeavouring to give satisfaction to the House on the matter of GCSE reform in England. To summarise, there would be a greater focus on exams; fewer marks for coursework; a new grading system (1-8, with 8 the top score); and more algebra, Romantic poetry, genetics, Medieval history. Mr Speaker, can my right honourable friend assure me that the exam boards will not allow grade inflation to creep in to these newly reformed GCSEs? Certainly, sir. I shall telegram Lady Bassington-Bassington immediately with the glad tidings. Dinner shall be served promptly at seven. Mr Speaker, when is the Secretary of State going to listen to the professionals in schools, who actually teach and plan and know what they're talking about? Forgive me, my lord. The scullery maid shall be dismissed at once. The latest issue of Punch has arrived and awaits your lordship's perusal in the library. Mr Speaker, does the Secretary of State agree with me that these substantial reforms are essential to restore the confidence of employers and further education establishments in the GCSE system? Indubitably, madam. Sir Gerald sends his warmest regards. Shall I draw your bath? On the whole, Labour offered little opposition to the reforms. "Not as bad as some of us may have feared," grumbled David Blunkett. Diane Abbott (Hackney North and Stoke Newington) even went so far as to praise them. An "emphasis on rigorous qualifications and on obtaining core academic subjects," declared her ladyship, was entirely in the interests of working-class and ethnic minority children. Below stairs, her ladyship's pronouncement was greeted with astonished delight. "Mr Speaker, I am in love!" blurted Gove in excitement, temporarily forgetting his station. The honourable lady is absolutely right! "In love"? A mere servant? With the lady of the house? This was most unseemly behaviour and scarcely befitting his position. The man is lucky not to be out on his ear.