Time to end Socceroos' name game The Fitz Files BRAVO to the Socceroos. Played good, done fine, qualified for the World Cup, for the third successive time, and are - When my baby, when my baby smiles at me, I'm ... - off to Rio! Seriously though, can some of you bastards move over a little - there's a pack of us trying to storm our way onto the bandwagon at the last minute, and we will not be denied! The fact that the national team has once more made it to the most prestigious international team competition of the lot, together with the broad success of the A-League, highlights the fact that soccer really has at last made it in Australia despite the best efforts of those knuckle-dragging Neanderthals who have tried to say it really is an inherently dull game compared with league, union and AFL. You bloody well showed them! One thing though. Yes, it is obvious that soccer really is here as a major force to stay. But, tiring of the eternal semantic shit-fight of whether it is properly called "soccer" or "football" - in a country that already has three codes calling themselves "football" - can I gently suggest that soccer people can't have it both ways? That is, if you do absolutely insist that "soccer" is your slave-name, and everyone that uses it is guilty of racism - no, really, I have hundreds of emails to this effect, even from people who can spell - then it is time to come up with a new name for the national team. I am happy to act as a cipher for you, and will pass on the best of the nominations. Either that, or return to sanity and accept that we call soccer, "soccer" in this country for the same reason we call a koala a "koala" - because that is what we have always called it, and there was never a problem in the first place. All furious correspondence on this subject should include two sentences. I am sorry I'm such a serious insect. It is not OK to call soccer, 'soccer', but it is OK to call the Socceroos the 'Socceroos', because ... Thought you might like to know that the Swans' stalwart defender Lewis Roberts-Thomson (nickname "Hyphen") did not play against the Essendon Bombers. This was all to the good, as the Bombers forward playmaker Nick Kommer did play, and the poor punctuation would have spoiled the game. After all, you can't have a Hyphen following a Kommer! Regards, Roger M.Hurley Tonight's the night! Not just for the Wallabies, but maybe also for the Cauliflower Club, established last year - for those with cauliflower ears, or are only pretty because the real men did the hard yakka up the front while they were parasitically prancing around in the backs - as an off-shoot of the Primary Club. We now have 450 members who will donate 50 tax-deductible dollars, at least once a year to rugby charities, when a Wallaby front-rower scores a Test try. Our annual lunch is now locked in, too, for November 15, when the great Richie Benaud will be addressing us. Google for details. Former English cricket captain Michael Vaughan raised an interesting point regarding the David Warner imbroglio. When I look at this Australian team I see divisions in the camp. I saw that on the field on Saturday at Edgbaston. Michael Clarke has suffered with a bad back and we all hope he recovers but I question why he was not at the first game of the summer against England. No matter how bad an injury you are carrying, as a captain you should be there with the team for an important match. It was great that he turned up at the [Shane Warne] charity event on Sunday but I wanted to see him at Birmingham for the England game. A fair point, surely? Of course Clarke needs treatment for his injury - without him, Australia's batting ranks are looking horrifyingly thin - but without him in Birmingham to set the tone, the team unraveled both on the field and off it. And how is it that while the likes of Shane Watson got sent home for not doing their homework, David Warner did not receive at least equal treatment for hitting an opposing player. The most alarming thing of all, though, with my thanks to reader Mike Sandy who pointed it out: How can it be that when a man with hand-eye co-ordination strong enough to be an opening batsman for Australia throws a punch at a target as big as another man's head, he only strikes a "glancing blow"? Things are crook in Tallarook ... A point of order, Mr Chairman! I am reliably informed that when the players were introduced at the US Open first tee, the announcer said: "Winner of 14 majors, Tiger Woods ... with former US Open champion, Rory McIlroy, and from Australia, Adam Scott ... Any chance they could mention him as "current US Masters Champion ..." Apparently not. Meanwhile, the fact that Tiger Woods came 40th in that US Open highlights the fact that it is now five years since his last major win. Jack Nicklaus' record of 18 majors is looking safer than ever. Good! The announcer at the end of the news on the Jonesy & Amanda WSFM Breakfast Show on Wednesday morning, deadpan: "Good news ... there is no new rugby league atrocity this morning ... but it is only 7 o'clock." Female colleague, to a Brisbane Fitzphile on Friday, after being delayed in getting a latte from her local cafe by a long queue wanting hamburgers: "There are a lot of overweight people in the city all dressed in red, what's going on?" She has a point. Is there a single Lions fan you've ever seen in an "M" size jersey? 2GB's Ben Fordham: "Holger Osieck is so excited with the Socceroos win, he has decided to let his wife speak in public!" Dutch Boyd reminisces over what might have been at the epic 2003 World Series of Poker: "It still hurts, thinking about how close I came. When you're deep in the Main Event, it's almost like you're living a dream. It feels like fate. It's predetermined, and you're going to win it, and nothing's going to stand in your way. The universe wants you to win. It wasn't until I was out the door that I realised the universe doesn't care. Socceroo Lucas Neill on what Lucas Neill thinks about things. From now we focus on Lucas and his next year now. Thank you, Lucas Neill. Tim Cahill sees Lucas Neill's pathetic attempt to win this week's Michael Clarke nomination, and raises him threefold: "The reality for kids is that if Tim Cahill can do it then they definitely have a shot at it ... We don't know who the next Tim Cahill will be, and right now the next Tim Cahill probably doesn't know he wants to play football." Tim Cahill wins. If you need him, Peter FitzSimons will be in his trailer, with a revolver. The text Adam Scott sent Justin Rose after Scott won the Masters earlier this year. This is your time, this is our time, to win these tournaments. Shane Warne - in reference to the David Warner 2.30am shenanigans - on what it was like in his day: "We had a saying, 'Before midnight is your time. After midnight is cricket time. If you can't do what you want before midnight it's not worth doing. Former Blue Bryan Fletcher on the experience at Lang Park: "The fans at the ground ... say stuff about your mum and your sister. There's some pretty hardcore stuff going on. No wonder Kevin Rudd swears like he does - they swear like sailors up there. Former England cricket captain Michael Vaughan: "The bigger issue for David Warner is what went through his mind at the moment he decided to punch Joe Root. What made him walk up to a young kid, a baby-faced lad who looks 12 years old and does not generally do anything to annoy anyone. Ken Sutcliffe, on the soccer World Cup: "I've been to two of them, and can say it's a unique experience." Both of them unique, Kenny? David Gallop. On Wednesday morning, while the NRL was dealing with four atrocities at once, the new boss of the FFA was planning his trip to Rio, and basking in the glory of a job well done. Peter Allen. On the day Australia qualified for the World Cup and they played I Go to Rio across the ground was the 21st anniversary of his death. Everybody after me: "When my baby ... when my baby smiles at me I go to Rio! de Janeiro ... " Lions fans. Much like the Barmy Army, these fans provide a special atmosphere and are a credit to rugby. Be nice to them! The Brumbies. Did Australian rugby proud becoming the first Australian provincial side to beat the Lions in more than 40 years with a great 14-12 victory on Tuesday evening. The Wallabies. Take on the Lions on Saturday in Brissie in the first Test. No mercy. No prisoners. Justin Rose. First Englishman to win a major since Nick Faldo took out the 1996 Masters and the first to win a US Open since Tony Jacklin in 1970. Jason Day. As equal runner-up at the US Open it gives him his fifth top-10 finish in just his 11th major, including being the runner-up on three occasions. With him and Adam Scott, is Australian golf on the edge of a Golden Age? Adam McCormack. The reserve half-back for Combined NSW-Queensland Country side who played the Lions last week, came on with 10 minutes to go and pulled off the tackle of the day on Brian O'Driscoll, and has been the toast of his family and club, the Mid North Coast Axemen, since. Dr Mark Sargent. The former NRL player has just been awarded his PhD in public policy at the University of Newcastle. Congratulations to him. Australian cricket team. For the first time missed the knockout stage of Champions Trophy, whatever that is. Kurt Tippett. Makes his long-awaited debut for the Sydney Swans away to Port Adelaide on Saturday afternoon. Twitter - @Peter_Fitz