Strange tale of a raft and a Little Sailor The Green and Golds become very excited and noisy. AUSTRALIS is a fairytale country at the bottom of the planet. It is a vast island surrounded by water with about 23 million humans, 50 million sheep and 100 million strange things that seem to move by whacking their tail on the ground. The inhabitants are known as the Green and Golds and are managed by a group who form a council operating out of an odd building in the middle of nowhere. There are Red people and Blue people in the council, with the Red people seemingly in control. But what is this? Five of the Reds, named Gillard, Swan, Shorten, Emerson and Howes, are forcing up to 40 of their group on to a rotten raft and pushing them out to sea into rough and unfriendly seas. It's hard to see how they'll survive! The Group of Five in charge of the Reds are a weird, tense bunch, tired-looking, hunched and more than a bit battered around the edges. They watch from the shore as the raft with their forlorn colleagues is tossed on angry waves . . . but then a little boat appears, sailed by a ruddy, bespectacled figure. The Little Sailor offers to try to save some of the Reds on the raft. He explains his boat is too small to save them all, but he may be able to save a few. The Gang of Five's hatred of the Little Sailor is obvious. While two hold him, another removes the bungs from his boat. They hold the Little Sailor until his boat sinks and then they throw the him into the turbulent sea. But the Little Sailor is one of life's survivors and manages to swim to shore. Meanwhile, the Reds on the raft have belatedly realised that the Gang of Five might not be the great leaders they thought they were and, this being a fairy story, they still have time to change their minds and save some, if not all, of their number. Obviously, the Gang of Five have been selfishly serving their own interests but should the Reds rise up and try to save themselves? And if they were to tell the Gang of Five to get stuffed, who do they turn to lead them? Who better than the Little Sailor? They don't all like him, he has not always treated them well in previous times, but they recognise that he seems to like them right now. More so than the Gang of Five. And the Little Sailor, now happily dried off and full of fight, seems to be very popular with the Green and Gold people - while the Gang of Five are treated with disdain. But time is running out. If the Little Sailor is to save some of the doomed Reds, they are going to have to turn to him within the next 10 days. For after that, there will be little chance of plucking anyone from the waterlogged raft. Many of the Red people are angry - naturally they want to survive. But the Gang of Five don't seem to care for any of their fellow Reds, nor even for the history and reputation of the Red group, once a proud and influential part of the island's council. Some of the Reds think their whole group may be destroyed if too many perish on the raft. But that does not seem to be of concern to the Gang of Five. Amid all this self-destruction, members of the Blue group, which has slightly fewer members than the Reds, have been busily rushing all over the island, talking to lots of Green and Golds and spreading their message. But they should be careful, because if the Reds rise up and turn to the Little Sailor and he can save some of those sentenced to death by the Gang of Five, they will have to rush even more quickly over the island. The Green and Golds, meanwhile, seem fairly bored with everything and everyone. The only thing that seems to give them any pleasure is when they assemble in vast numbers in circular structures containing seats that surround a broad, grassy surface. There, people painted in different colours chase what looks like an inflated, stubby condom. The Green and Golds become very excited and noisy and for a couple of hours they are able to forget about the bickering of the Reds and the Blues. And who knows, if the Little Sailor is able to perform a miracle and save some of the Reds, perhaps he could perform another miracle and help one of the teams chasing the stubby condom on the broad, green surface. The team's members are painted in both blue and red but don't seem able to catch the condom at all. It just keeps slipping through their fingers. Anyway, I think the poor Reds stuck on the raft will ask the Little Sailor to try save as many as he can. After all, Australis seems to be a funny place - who'd ever think of chasing condoms?