(Married) Girls Just Want to Have Fun I am a young newlywed, but my husband and I have been together for seven years. Several of my close friends are still single. When I go to bars or clubs with them, without fail they tell any man I strike up a conversation with that I am married. It's not as if I'm hiding the fact. My wedding ring is in plain sight. I have a great relationship with my husband, but when I'm out with the girls, I enjoy a little harmless flirting. Why do my friends feel the need to ruin my fun? Wild generalization: Singletons don't understand that fantasizing about an afternoon in the prison yard with the cute guard from "Orange is the New Black" is occasionally required to get us long-coupled folk through Tuesday-night dinners with our spouses. A finer (yet untested) romantic streak races through their veins. The loss of it is what sends me back to Jane Austen every year, and you (apparently) to flirty watering holes. Probably no harm either way. But your pals" insistent interventions make me nervous. (And I hesitate to dismiss their concerns as "one to a customer" annoyance: "You've already got a man. Why do you need to hoover up all the single ones in here, too?") Imagine that your husband is standing with you (or nearby) when you engage in these "harmless flirtations" with other men. If that makes you squirm (or would make hubby see red), pull back. Perhaps you are laying it on a bit thick. But if your behavior still seems harmless to you, tell your pals not to worry, that your hair-flipping and arm-touching have been sanctioned by Social Q's. Someone's in the Kitchen We have a group of friends we invite to dinner once a year. We love seeing them, and because we rarely do, every moment is a treat. After dinner, I want to clear the table and get back to my guests. But one of them insists on rolling up his sleeves and washing the dishes right away. I can't leave him to clean alone, so I get stuck in the kitchen, too - listening to gales of laughter from the next room. I've told him we prefer to leave the dishes for later, but he insists on "helping." Any ideas? Believe it or not, I have two - and at the same time! First, be as truthful with your Johnny-on-the-spot dishwasher as you've been with us. It's a lovely sentiment: "I don't want to miss a minute with this glorious crowd or with you. Please come back to the dining room so I can have it all. But there may be a subtler problem at work here. Folks who jump into pre-emptive cleanup at parties (in my experience) may feel awkward in social settings. Lending a hand gives them something to do with their anxiety. So seat your chattiest Cathy next to your dishwasher-in-training and try keeping him engaged. And if all else fails, hide the sponges. Uncle Mike Has a Boo-Boo I frequently invite my 30-year-old brother to join my family for dinner. But lately, when he arrives, his neck is covered in hickeys. The bruises are a subject of much interest to my three children, who are 4 years old and younger. What should I tell them? When I was 6, an adult told me that maxi-pads were diapers for baby dolls. That explanation satisfied me for years. No need to broach the birds and the bees with your kiddies quite yet. Just say: "Uncle Mike has a few bruises. Everyone gets them sometimes. Let's hope your brother (and his partner) move on to less visible forms of lovemaking soon. Because 30 is pushing it where love bites are concerned. On Second Thought Last Sunday, I answered a question about friendly neighbors who keep their cocker spaniel chained up all day. The letter writer wanted to improve the dog's life, while preserving her relationship with its owners. In my zeal to foster good (human) relations, I neglected to note that chaining up a dog all day might be abusive and is outlawed in many areas. I also missed several signs that the spaniel's health was possibly being neglected. Not to worry: several hundred trusty readers let me know I missed the boat. Most suggested an anonymous call to the Humane Society, the local animal control agency or a veterinarian, all of whom might provide help - and improve this pooch's quality of life. Good thinking, readers.