Big Read: Friends are a real gem in a girl's life Casey Drew, 24 (right), mum of Jack 18 months, has been friends with Rebecca Gibb (left), 25, since they were three years old. Photo: Mark Cranitch. Casey Drew, 24, and Bec Gibb, 25, happily spend a lazy public holiday in Drew's Forest Lake home, in Brisbane's northern suburbs, chatting and reminiscing on the couch while her toddler Jack plays happily at their feet. Turkish music thrums softly in the West End cafe where Bilge Ozgun, 33, and Lisa Lee, 37, gossip and laugh into their cappuccinos, a welcome catch-up snatched amid hectic university, music and family commitments. Friends, Lisa Lee from Fiji and Bilge Ozgun from Turkey, met about five years ago in a mutual workplace and have been friends ever since. Across town, Bernice "Toy" Bock, 92, and Kitty Milne, 83, play endless games of euchre, dealing cards in Bock's northside Ashgrove home, unchanged in the 60 years the pair have known each other. Companionable silence is broken only by the rattle of a tea cup or an occasional exclamation at a good round. As scenes like these repeat endlessly around the world, women instinctively know what scientific research has long proven. Friends bring women the most happiness in life and are vital to their good health. While men generally consider wives or partners their best friends, women rely far more on their girlfriends and as such have broader, deeper and more resilient networks than men. Men have the ``fight or flight" instinct but women "tend and befriend" looking to their children and girlfriends for support and comfort in times of stress. (Lee laughs loudly. ``With all due respect I love my husband, but I NEED my girlfriends! For my sanity!") By sharing a coffee, wine or phone call with a close friend, women feel calmer, more assured and less overwhelmed. Close friendships make women feel more attractive, lower blood pressure, heart rate and cholesterol, boost immunity, promote better sleep, stave off dementia, promote healing and help them live longer. Bernice "Toy" Bock, 93 and Kitty Milne, 83 have been friends for more than 60 years. They live around the corner from each other, and see each other nearly every day. Cover Feature on Women's Friendship. Studies reveal women with late-stage breast cancer who have a circle of confidantes have a better chance of survival than others. Newly-widowed women with a close friend or confidante are more likely to survive the experience without any new physical impairments. A Flinders University study following 1500 women for 14 years, found women with more friends live 22 per cent longer than those with fewer friends, regardless of the strength of their family connections. Another study discovered the more friends a woman has, the less likely she is to develop physical impairments as she ages and she is more likely to lead a joyful life. So significant were the results, a lack of friends was deemed to be as detrimental to health as smoking or being overweight. Modern technology and social media open more avenues than ever before to connect and reconnect with people, but psychologist Dr Zoe Hazelwood warns we do not necessarily have more nor stronger friendships than ever before. "When it comes to really getting to know people, I think we probably are less connected," says Hazelwood, 41, senior lecturer at Queensland University of Technology. We've become time-poor because we have so many things we try to do with our lives that we actually don't get together and have a good old chinwag with that really, really decent friend of ours, that we've had forever and a day. It takes more effort for us, despite what it looks on Facebook. Big Read: Friends are a real gem Source: Supplied Hazelwood says while our grandparents' generation might have friendships dating back to their youth, increasingly nomadic lifestyles mean this is no longer the norm. Also, what we need from friendship changes with each stage of our life. It's important to reinforce that friendships do shift and change in nature. That doesn't necessarily mean the person isn't still a friend, it's just that you learn to appreciate them for different things. For example, anyone who's ever had kids will tell you the friends they make through their parents' groups, they may not have anything else in common with except for the fact they both had a child at the same time and are therefore going through some of the similar parent-type things at the same time - but that may be all they need in a friend at that time. Hazelwood and best friend Kerrilee Maxfield, 46, met in Brisbane 15 years ago through their then-boyfriends. Those men are long gone but Maxfield was bridesmaid at Hazelwood's wedding, they are godmothers to their respective children, and even their jack russells are sisters. Hazelwood and Maxfield, a childcare worker studying to be a teacher in Tasmania, only see each other every few years but phone and message each other up to three times a week. "At times of peak busyness in our lives, it's possible friendships are what we need most to give us the strength to continue with that type of lifestyle," Hazelwood says. My own experiences would tell me that in times of stress, my best friend will certainly understand if I send her a quick text to say, `sorry I haven't been able to phone you back', and she'll always say, `no problem'. That's the true test of a female friendship - the fact you don't have to be constantly in touch with one another to know they'll still be there for you. Starting a new life in a new country presents many challenges but one of Lisa Lee's biggest fears was finding a new girlfriend. Lee, husband Wilson and their daughter Isabelle, seven, left their close-knit family in Fiji about five years ago to pursue economic and educational opportunities in Brisbane. Now an Australian citizen, living in Brighton on Brisbane's bayside, Lee has swapped a finance career to complete a degree in architecture at the University of Queensland. ``It was a genuine fear. It does take a lot of effort to find people that you can click with and just be yourself," says Lee. ``You have to create those relationships again." Lee joined her local church community, signed up for a walking group and started playing tennis, but it was at work selling educational software that she met close girlfriend Bilge Ozgun, a singer from Turkey who came to Brisbane to learn English. "We just chatted and we clicked," laughs Lee. We've been friends for four years, but it feels like we've known each other forever! Ozgun, who lives in West End, had been in Brisbane for over a year completing a Bachelor of Business Marketing when the pair met. An Australian citizen since 2011, she has since toured extensively - solo and with her band, Dilja - and this year started a Masters in Communication for Social Change at University of Queensland. Her music meant Ozgun was able to meet a lot of people and make many good friends, but she considers Lee practically a sister and the affection is reciprocated. We come from good families and are very family-oriented. We enjoy each other's company, and the same things. We like lovely restaurants and dressing up when we can," Lee says. I also think because of our ethnic background, we tend to blend and we find the same things funny. Some of the challenges that you face setting up in a new country - finding out where things are, how things operate, maybe how you should behave ... Ozgun agrees: "Our ethnic background brings us together because we are facing the same difficulties. We see the same barriers. Technology means the pair are able to stay in constant contact with their families and friends overseas, but it is a poor substitute for physical, face-to-face contact. ``We laugh a lot," says Ozgun. That's why I like Lisa - she's always very positive and I love to be with positive people. Casey Drew and Rebecca Gibb have been close friends since their parents met when they were three. They've been there for each other through everything from first kisses to first cars and first jobs. Naturally, when Drew fell unexpectedly pregnant with Jack, now 18 months, Gibb was the first person she called - even though they hadn't spoken for a year. The pair lost touch when Gibb, a primary teacher, was working full-time and finishing full-time study, and Drew juggled full-time work with her burgeoning relationship with now-fiance Keam Brodie, 26. Living on the opposite outskirts of Brisbane didn't help either - Gibb lives at home in Bridgeman Downs in the north, while Drew lives at Forest Lake in the west. Jack brought them back together. "Bec is just such a major important person in my life I just did not want her finding out (about the pregnancy) through anybody else, and if anything bad happened I knew she'd be there," says Drew, who is studying accounting since losing her job in real estate. Casey Drew, mum of Jack 18 months, has been friends with Rebecca Gibb since they were three years old. We've never had a falling out, we've never had an argument that I can think of. We may not talk for a couple of years but she'll always be there in my life. It's rare. Gibb says while they have swapped nightclubbing and partying for cafe breakfasts, play dates at the park and hanging out with Jack at home, their friendship is stronger than ever. They talk or message each other every second day, Skype once a week and see each other once a fortnight. We've gone through some battles together. I've had some bad news about my health that Casey has helped me through, and she's also had some problems like that," Gibb says. I don't feel comfortable talking to anyone else about that, except Casey. I have that real connection where I can completely open up and know that she wouldn't judge me. Her friendship has been vital. We're inseparable again and it's one of those things we joke about now, that we can't believe we went so long without talking! Bernice Bock is an Anglican, Kitty Milne a Roman Catholic. Milne is a vegetarian, while Bock still remembers Milne's mother's delicious corned meat fritters. These stalwarts of the Ashgrove community are tireless fundraisers for the Little King's Movement (a church-based support group for people with disabilities), social butterflies who frequent local events together and keen card enthusiasts with a wide repertoire. The lifelong friends met through Milne's mother Stella, who took Bock under her wing when she first moved to the neighbourhood from Toowoomba with late husband Harold. They hold keys to each other's houses barely two hilly streets apart, take turns to phone every morning and, for the past 13 years, have hosted a fortnightly Hoy morning at St Finbar's Parish. They also attend regular coffee and chat mornings with Communify - a group that delivers community services - in nearby Paddington, and weekly entertainment provided by the Italian community. "We sit and laugh, and I used to say that if anyone saw us they'd think we're a couple of mad kids," Bock says. Bock, once a volunteer childcare worker, could not have a family of her own but shared the care of Milne's six grandchildren. The children's school photos decorate her fridge and she quickly prompts Milne with their names and ages. Laughter flows over tea, scones and jam as they reminisce about old neighbours, mutual friends and drives to Toowoomba to visit Milne's three aunts - Therese, Biddy and Molly - who were nuns in the Mercy Order. Milne chose Bock over husband Mak, 81, for regular medical appointments and later returned the favour for her friend. Asked for the secret to their friendship, which included only one minor argument that could be recalled, they look at each other in bewilderment. "We have had a very lovely friendship," Bock says. I think just helping one another, don't you? "I think so," says Milne. Just life, isn't it?