Duchess of Cambridge delivers perfect TV package In the tradition of pregnancies both royal and common, the Duchess of Cambridge's tenure tending to a Windsor bun in her oven was accompanied by mild nausea in the morning. What made it unusual was that most of it occurred after the baby was born. There are women throughout British royal family history that have panicked over not being able to deliver a boy and here we are, Kate did it first time. One can only imagine the screams that accompanied the delivery of the heir in the control rooms of Australian television broadcasters this morning, but you can be sure this was pain-free labour: after all that time waiting for Kate, here was the ultimate blessing as news of the royal arrival was announced as if on cue for the start of the breakfast shows. Until that moment, our hosts and hostesses had been facing the prospect of crossing to London every other minute with nothing to actually report. When the birth was announced - via some combination of email, Twitter and an easel in the palace forecourt - they were able to cross to London every other minute with one thing to report and much, much more on which to speculate. Happy couple: the Duchess and Duke of Cambridge in April. And boy oh boy - yes, it was a boy - did they speculate, when not grinning and gushing with an enthusiasm that would have been hard to surpass had they actually given birth to the little fellow themselves. Melissa Doyle, having recently vacated the co-host's chair at Seven's Sunrise, had the last laugh today as she anchored the program's baby bonanza from London. What do we know about the royal birth? Doyle was heard to inquire at one point, the answer being that we knew the sex, weight and arrival time and absolutely nothing else, but neither she nor her peers across the dial were to be deterred by the small matter of having to rely on guesswork. CNN correspondent Victoria Arbiter gives the infamous quip on the Duchess of Cambridge. Over on Nine, Lisa Wilkinson and Ben Fordham was working hard in Sydney and, as was common among all broadcasters as the hours unfolded, had in their arsenal the one failsafe baby angle that was both irresistible and, if you were into actual facts and information, endlessly useful: let's talk about Diana. I think Wilkinson was right in pointing out that the tragedy of Diana's life and our fervent interest in it goes much of the way to explaining the world's obsessive interest in the fate of her sons, and has the additional benefit of providing fodder for speculation that is in no danger of being contradicted. "It's still a hard thing to get your head around that if Diana were still alive she would be a grandmother," mused Wilkinson in conversation with British royal-watcher Ingrid Seward, who if memory serves seems to have been royal-watching since Queen Victoria was on the throne. Seward, who let on that she had given birth in the same hospital wing in which Catherine had so recently done the business, concurred. She'd be a great boost for grandmothers everywhere. Nine then beamed in via Skype Diana's former bodyguard Ken Wharfe, who confirmed of his former boss: "She'd be delighted, chuffed about this." Wharfe's most telling contribution was his memory of William's comment to his mother when he was a toddler: "I don't like tographers." Little did young William know what was to come, including the fact that his childhood security guard would one day be taking to the airwaves to speculate about the likely feelings of his dead mother on the birth of her grandchild. But such is his lot, and the lot of the new prince. The indignities pile up at such a rapid rate they soon seem normal. Social media was in on the game, of course, though local traffic was slight given the early hour and much of it both here and abroad seemed to confirm this was a television event, with Twitter in a supporting role for snark and additional speculation. It also helped spread the word when there was a debacle unfolding on air, as happened with the appearance on CNN of Victoria Arbiter, daughter of former palace press adviser Dickie Arbiter. Amid stiff competition, Ms Arbiter may have taken the cake for the most ghastly contribution of the morning: "My first thought I have to say was - this is how brilliant a royal Kate is. This being Victoria's first thought, we won't bother you with her second and third. One seems one too many. Over at the ABC, breakfast hosts Virginia Trioli and Michael Rowland were trying gamely to keep up the perky levels demanded of the occasion while still fulfilling Aunty's charter responsibilities as a news organisation, but at such moments it's difficult to find any sensible balance been gravitas when the background music is Land of Hope and Glory. Better to just surrender to the circus, and there is something compelling about watching so much money and talent and time thrown with abandon at reporting news whose depth can be measured by the length of the statement on that easel outside Buckingham Palace. And there is undeniable pleasure in waiting for the next great line to emerge from the mouths of broadcasters tasked with finding something fresh to say when the news is swiftly growing old and thin. Let's doff our hats, then, to one Camilla Tominey, another of Nine's royal-watchers, who noted of the Duchess's time in labour: "She's had quite an innings." Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, a Pom had to go and mention the cricket. Well played, Camilla, well played. Special royal programming will take over the airwaves again tonight. ABC1 has Born To Be King at 8.30pm; Ten has Will and Kate: A Royal Arrival at 6pm. Seven has bumped Today Tonight for a special one-hour bulletin at 6pm. Contact Neil McMahon on Twitter: @NeilMcMahon