What Icahn Has to Say Carl C. Icahn is not only one of the busiest investors on Wall Street, he is also one of the most quotable. Mr. Icahn's wit was on display on Wednesday at the Delivering Alpha conference hosted by CNBC and Institutional Investor in Manhattan. The 77-year-old investor, with a close-shorn beard, discussed his fight over Dell, his brawl over Herbalife and even his domestic life. At one point, he tried out an English accent. The only time Mr. Icahn restrained this blizzard of language was to alter the phrase "pile of ..." to end with "absurdity" rather than a word that cannot be spoken on live television (though that hasn't stopped him in the past). Here are some of Mr. Icahn's memorable lines from Wednesday's session, by topic: Dell Shareholders of Dell are scheduled to vote on Thursday on a $24.4 billion buyout offer from Michael S. Dell, the company's founder, and the investment firm Silver Lake. Mr. Icahn, a major shareholder, has been vocal in his opposition. Dell's board, which supports the buyout, has argued that the company's business is deteriorating. I've been through a lot of these fights. I'm a cynic about corporate democracy and boards. I think most of these boards are completely dysfunctional," Mr. Icahn said. "We definitely do" have a candidate in mind to be chief executive of Dell, Mr. Icahn said. We're going to do whatever it takes to get someone. "There is no corporate democracy in this country," he continued. Dell is "a sad, sad commentary on it." "I believe this will go to a proxy fight, and I believe I can win a proxy fight," he said. His Rivals Mr. Icahn had choice words for the prominent short-seller James S. Chanos, who also spoke at the conference. "With all honesty, I think I have a much better record than he has," Mr. Icahn said. Ultimately, the point was less about Mr. Chanos than it was about Mr. Icahn's professed distaste for selling companies short. "Here's what Chanos misses," Mr. Icahn said. These companies can be turned around if you put the right management in and the right board in. Mr. Icahn also took aim at the hedge fund manager William A. Ackman, who runs Pershing Square Capital Management. Mr. Ackman has made a large bet against the nutritional supplements company Herbalife, and Mr. Icahn is on the other side of that bet. The grudge between the two goes back many years. The interviewer at the conference, Scott Wapner of CNBC, said Mr. Ackman had sent in a statement, which referred to his investment in Canadian Pacific Railway. "I wanted to be here today, but I'm at a board meeting in Canada," Mr. Ackman said, according to Mr. Wapner. I have a railroad to run. Mr. Icahn had a riposte: "Well, if he runs the railroad I wouldn't want to be on it." Later, Mr. Ackman delivered a counterattack in another statement read by Mr. Wapner: "Please tell Mr. Icahn that his specially equipped Canadian Pacific railcar is waiting outside for him." Herbalife Mr. Icahn said he had not "sold a share" of Herbalife. In fact, we bought more. The stock has climbed since Mr. Icahn built his position earlier this year. That has been a negative development for Mr. Ackman, who announced his bold bet in December. "I like Ackman," Mr. Icahn said. I'll tell you why I like him. Anyone that makes me a quarter of a billion I like. But is the stock the "mother of all short squeezes," as Mr. Icahn once declared, referring to a situation in which short-sellers are forced out of their positions? "I think it's the daughter of all short squeezes already," Mr. Icahn said. Domestic Bliss You are not about to see Mr. Icahn relaxing on a golf course. He is as active as ever. "What else do I have to do?" he said on Wednesday. "My wife watches me like a hawk," he said of Gail Golden, explaining that she is a minor investor in his fund. "At night, she looks over the numbers, and she's like, "How come you went down today?"" Mr. Icahn said. "Then, she starts mumbling about shareholders" rights," he said. She's forcing me to do this.