He's Just a Cave Man in a Modern World Neandertal is a valley in Germany. That meager fact is a spoiler for "Neander-Jin: The Return of the Neanderthal Man," because there is virtually nothing else of value to be gained from watching this film. In this feature-length crime against comedy from Florian Steinbiss, a Neanderthal magically appears at a rural water-pump station in present-day Germany. A woman (Sarah Muehlhause) who we are told is an environmental sciences student takes a fancy to him despite the skepticism of her egghead father (Mr. Steinbiss). A conniving producer (Milton Welsh) and a pop anthropologist (Jeff Hixon, the film's co-writer and executive producer) vie to make a buck off the new arrival. Routinely botching the basics of setting up characters and scenarios, the film lets punch lines die like dogs and at times resembles a pornographic film without the sex. The Neanderthal himself (Jon Chardiet, who starred in the 1984 hip-hop tie-in "Beat Street") makes one pine for the comparatively quicksilver stylings of "Encino Man." An affront to Neanderthals and modern humans alike, "Neander-Jin" may set us all back thousands of years.