The great child savings debate: Should you shower your offspring in cash or sew up the purse strings and let them struggle? The latest confirmation that having children is expensive will come as no great surprise to cash-strapped parents. The cost of raising a child in state education to 18 has gone up again, to £148,105, new figures show. But teaching them the value of this colossal sum is another matter altogether. Is it true that feathering their nest will help them to fly better in adult life, or does a hefty dose of tough financial love make them stand better on their own two feet? We meet two sets of parents who have taken very different approaches to money management with their children. Sewing up the purse strings: Jacqui Roberts says she wants her children Megan, Thomas and Ben to know that money can never be taken for granted and learn to fend for themselves "I'm really not a mean person," says Jacqui Roberts, a mother of four children aged between 11 and 24. It's just that I'm desperate for my kids to learn that money is never to be taken for granted. Mrs Roberts is refusing to spare a single penny for her children's financial future. In a deliberate move to toughen them up and help them to fend for themselves, she has decided against building up a nest-egg for any of them. The 45-year-old widow from Kettering, Northamptonshire, is steadfast in her belief that 11-year-old son Ben, 12-year-old Thomas, Megan, 14, and grown-up son Jamie, 24, will be better off without any kind of financial leg-up. None of them has ever received a penny in pocket money. Christmases and birthdays were bereft of big-ticket goodies. Low-value items of clothing have been a staple gift for years. "I've seen how kids who are given everything without having to earn it turn out," she says. I want mine to learn a good work ethic and be able to make their own financial decisions with confidence. This approach, which many would consider spartan, is largely down to her background, she says. Thanks to my parents, I was brought up to appreciate the value of money through hard work and thrift. When my eldest son turned 18, I gave him a small gift - about £40 worth of new clothes - but I clearly remember him saying to me that most of his friends were presented with cars. "I felt awful but I thought to myself: "Did I get given my first car? I started work at 16, scrimped and saved and paid for all my lessons and insurance myself. I'm really proud of that. It was a Mini Cooper worth £600 in 1985 - but it was mine and I had earned it. This stringent approach has had to be explained to the children. "I've had to hammer home why it's so important because being this way is so different," she says. At heart, I tell them, it's about helping them to become independent-minded. As proof of her determination, she recently gave her 12-year-old son, Thomas, a tough lesson in money management. We went shopping together and I had agreed to buy him some clothes worth nearly £20. We went for lunch afterwards. However, he left the clothes in a bag in the restaurant. I refused to replace them and he had to sell sweets to the neighbours" kids to make the money back. I felt bad but he had to learn that you can't just leave things unattended and expect them to be replaced. Mrs Roberts's approach was also influenced by the death of her husband, Brian, six years ago. "He had type-1 diabetes and suffered a shock from a blood infection after an overseas flight," Mrs Roberts says. It was a complete shock when he died. After his death, it took months to work out the finances. In another blow to the family fortunes, shortly after Brian's death she was forced to give up work as a photographer after being diagnosed with Parkinson's. She now has only a widow's pension worth £5,450, topped up with tax credit payments, to bring up the three children still living at home. There is no money left at the end of the month to spare for the children. Mrs Roberts says: "I want to teach my kids to always watch the pennies, as you never know what will happen. Since there isn't a lot of cash left over each month, I've had to become a real bargain-hunter, using voucher and cashback websites like Quidco, which pay you a small sum every time you buy goods online via their site. But even if I won the Lottery tomorrow I wouldn't do things differently. I'd still cut out discount coupons. At the end of July, Mrs Roberts had managed to save a small amount of spare cash, so as a treat she gave her three youngest a £20 note each. Saving for the future: James and Rachael Stelfox put £200 a month aside for each of their three daughters Sian, Harriet and Edie "They were so excited about picking something to spend it on," she says. But when my daughter went to school the other kids were scornful, saying it was only £20. I think that's really sad. Because of how we live, when my kids get something they appreciate it so much more. I really hope I'm passing on my frugality to them. "Three girls are going to be very, very expensive," sighs James Stelfox. I don't mean to sound sexist but they're going to cost an awful lot of money - I've got three weddings to plan to pay for, on top of three lots of university fees and three deposits for properties. His fear of a lifetime of budget-busting bills for Sian, ten, Harriet, six, and Edie, three, has spurred him to drastic action. From the day each of his daughters was born, James and his wife Rachel have gone hell for leather to put away as much as possible for her future. To begin with, they put £200 for each daughter into a tax-free Barclays cash child trust fund each month. Anything they can afford to put aside at the end of the month also goes in. That's a staggering £7,200 a year they have to find. The couple, from Wimborne in Dorset, also make full use of their tax-free cash Isa allowances every year - currently £5,760 each. Although the cash is theirs, they have earmarked it to pay their daughters" bills. For years, they have also asked grandparents to buy the girls premium bonds from National Savings & Investments as birthday and Christmas presents. But that's not all. Mr Stelfox, 34, who runs an IT firm, says: "We also decided to invest in a buy-to-let property for them. It was a big step to take. It's currently rented out, but we plan to sell it at a later date to help fund our daughters" futures." Some of the profit they make from rent also goes into the savings pot. It is Mr Stelfox's ambition to invest in more properties so he can give each daughter a house as well as a lump cash sum when each of them reaches adulthood. His canny financial planning has eaten into the family's disposable income. So far, they have managed to save £80,000 for their daughters. Although the family are comfortably off, Mr and Mrs Stelfox have had to cut back on other spending, as well as saving less for themselves. But despite Mr Stelfox's serious planning, he is concerned about how the girls will spend the money when they turn 18. With child trust funds, children receive a lump sum on their 18th birthday - and it is up to them what they do with it. Mr Stelfox is therefore thinking seriously about changing the way he and Rachael, 39, save for the girls. If an 18-year-old girl is handed a lump of cash, there is no way of knowing how responsible she'll be with it. I want to be able to control it - I don't want them ending up in debt. I want them to learn to be responsible, sensible spenders. It's like with a pay-as-you-go phone. If they spend all their credit in the first week, then it's gone and that's it until they are due for their next top-up. In a final boost for his girls, Mr Stelfox hopes to start investing in stocks and shares. "It is definitely something I want to get more involved with," he says. After all, I'm not looking for a quick return. I am investing long-term. He has taken inspiration from what his parents did for him - saving into a trust fund. "I'm very grateful to them," he says. I've bought my little girl a Penny Black Stephen Taylor, 35, from Newport, Shropshire, is a keen coin and stamp collector and has bought his daughter a Penny Black stamp on an envelope in good condition - currently worth about £800 - which he bought from retailer Stanley Gibbons. Olivia also has five or six very old coins from the 11th-12th century, worth about £5,000, set aside in her name. Mr Taylor, a project manager, says: "It's risky but coins are increasing in value by 8-12 per cent each year - far better than any savings account. Stamps are increasing by about 3-4 per cent each year. No toys at Christmas - just savings Harjeet Sunhil Dial's two children, Milan and Areya, don't get a single toy at Christmas or birthdays. Instead, they get cash. The couple have been saving diligently for Milan, two, and Areya, four months, ever since they were born. They save £100 a month for each child into a Halifax Young Saver account, then top this up with Christmas and birthday money - Milan already has a handy £6,000 saved up. Mrs Dial, 31, from South London, says: "Instead of presents I just put money into their account. I thought about what I would have wanted at 18, and a nice of pot of £40,000 would have been so useful with house prices so high. Lucas is two but we're investing for his old age Shaun and Helen Bailey are to start retirement planning for their two-year-old baby son Lucas. It might sound premature, but invest £50 into a pension now and by the time your child turns 55 they would have as much as £215,000 saved, assuming growth of 5 per cent a year, according to figures from adviser Hargreaves Lansdown. Mr Bailey, 40, says: "A lot can happen between now and the time he is 55, but the thought of all that compound interest is very tempting."