Ashes turnaround? I'm looking the wrong way The harsh reality: Despite all the talk of an Australian revival, the cold hard facts speak the loudest. Don't blame it on sunshine, don't blame it on moonlight, don't blame it on the good times and, whatever happens, do not blame this Ashes series loss on the boogie. Leave the poor old boogie out of it. If there's one thing long-suffering Australian cricket fans need right now, it's the boogie and the ability to heal yourself through the power of dance. Even song. Yes, yes ... Michael Clarke and his men dug in during the third Test, at Old Trafford, with bat and ball, and should have won and kept the series alive. The Poms wasted time on day four, ambling back to their mark like it was their shout at the bar. On the final day, we had 'em three-fa not much but then the heavens opened and instead of seeing God - or the man who considers himself to be the big fella, Kevin Pietersen - we saw rain that just would not stop. But is Australian cricket back, as some have claimed? Please. Clarke said his side had turned the corner within minutes of England returning the urn. You'd expect that. He is the eternal optimist. But it concerns us when good old Captain Grumpy himself, Allan Border, also believes the worm has turned and the hunter has become the hunted and all that jazz. This column worships Border. Forget about the sight of a tired and emotional Jeff Thomson falling asleep out there in the outer at Old Trafford. It was more refreshing to see Border running an assiduous eye over proceedings heading up a supporters' tour in much the same manner that he did from the slip cordon for more than 150 Tests. But on this issue we cannot agree: Border this week said England looked "vulnerable," adding that Australia "showed real fight and England are worried." Yes, all of England should indeed be trembling in their moccasins after claiming their third consecutive Ashes series, and this time in the shortest amount of time needed: three Tests. Excuse me if I don't go out on a three-week bender in celebration of the renaissance of Australian cricket after we've just lost the Ashes. Some of us will believe Australia have turned the corner after they actually have turned the corner and that little urn is in their possession. That said, if we're looking for something to blame then look no further than this godforsaken decision review system jibber jabber. Try and bring yourself to say it, Australia. India is bang on. DRS has become a farce and it should be scrapped. Whether it is the technology itself or the people using it, the system is flawed. How can the outcome of a Test be decided by Hawk-Eye technology showing an imaginary ball probably missing an imaginary leg stump with an imaginary black line down the middle? And what use the technology if the ICC continues to put officials in place who are evidently watching a different game to us, a la Usman Khawaja's first-innings dismissal? As for claims that silicon tape is being used on bats to avoid Hot Spot, it is surely a stroke of genius and not necessarily cheating. After all, some women have been using silicon to fool the world for years. Traumatic tragedy The death of jockey Simone Montgomerie at the Darwin Cup meeting on Monday has rocked racing - and also caused the industry to rally around itself during a dark time. Believe us when we tell you it was a very traumatic experience for those who were trackside. Montgomerie, 26, came off her mount between the 200-metre and 150m mark, in front of the bulk of the crowd. The sight of a white sheet being brought out on to the track by the ambulance crew signalled that the situation was dire. As word filtered around the track, it became apparent what had happened and the crowd fell silent. Some witnesses said the distraught look on the face of local trainer Stephen Brown said it all. The horses for the next event were led out into the mounting yard, but then the meeting was abandoned because jockeys were too affected to ride. Hold the phone You've all heard about the Melbourne Storm's infamous second set of books - but what about the second phone? The big talking point in "League Land" right now is the second phone found by the wife of a Test star containing "hundreds of contacts" for women he's been sharing regular, er, company with. This column has been told by several sources in the past few days about the player's infidelity and how he was forced to fess up when his wife found the phone. The player has been using the mobile application Blendr, which allows users to locate willing participants down to the metre. Mark of the man It's often said the mark of a man is the people who attend his funeral, and with that in mind Roosters life member Harry Phipps - who died recently at the age of 81 - must have been someone special. Former players - including Craig Wing, who flew in from Japan where he plays rugby - joined the Roosters squad as Phipps was farewelled at an emotional service at St James Church in Sydney on Tuesday. Roosters boss Brian Canavan told of how Phipps was considered the high-profile board's "conscience" even though he wasn't a team official - and used that defence to dodge a $10,000 fine for abusing referee Bill Harrigan after a loss to Canberra during the 1990s. Club chairman Nick Politis told a packed church that he would miss his old mate who sat just over his left shoulder, three rows back, saying: "The ref's a cheat."