Thirty ways you know you're a South Australian LET'S be honest - being South Australian is awesome. So we compiled a few of the ties that bind us all together. You know you're a South Aussie when ... You know what bung fritz is. Fritz and tomato sauce on white bread. Pour it on. The first question you ask someone you just met is, 'what school did you go to?' Wherever it was, it probably wasn't this one. And if it was, nice job, mum and dad. You say " heaps good " and people don't look at you strangely. Wearing your favourite T-shirt at Ushuaia, Argentina, the southern-most town in the world ... heaps good! You've prank-called Bob Francis. Bob Francis, being tormented by yet another "bloody dickbrain." You used to go on dates to Skyshow . A quiet date on the Torrens under Skyshow fireworks. Is the umbrella for cinder protection? You've nearly been killed at the Britannia Roundabout. Just another drive home from the city. You've ridden the Rundle Mall pigs. Admittedly, it's hard to tell whether Joshua Parish is ecstatic with joy or frozen in terror in this picture. You hate the only other AFL team in the state so much that you actually cheer for Collingwood when they play your rival. Rub it in, why don't you. You claim any celebrity who has ever visited here as a South Australian. This South Australian even won Oscars! You went to bed when Fat Cat told you to. You flip your beer before opening it. Max Cooper in 2001, drinking a Pale. What's he doing in Cooper Creek? But we ARE sure he turned that beer before opening it. You feel nostalgic about the demise of the double-cut roll. That thing's as big as his head! You enjoy whingeing about the fact that we're a state of whingers. I'm so tired of all these whingers. You submit Xavier Minniecon as a "spotted" for the Sunday Mail's gossip column. TV weather presenter Xavier Minniecon, possibly during his audition for the movie Anchorman. You're inexplicably proud of homegrown inventions people in other places would never think to be proud of. Such as Hills Hoists ... Yep, that's what a Hills Hoist is for! Victa mowers ... Tony Cassar collects Victa lawnmowers. ... and even one-way freeways. That's two prime-movers leading a cavalcade across the Marion Rd overpass during the opening of the Southern Expressway. You hate Victorians for no real reason. And if this is photo doesn't convince you ... ... here's Eddie McGuire receiving an honorary doctorate to RMIT University for gameshows, or something. So that's Dr Ed, to you. You think crying over spilt milk is entirely valid - if that milk is Farmers Union Iced Coffee. You know, it was near-impossible to find a photo of spilt Farmers Union Iced Coffee, but there were many, many photos in our archives of workmen drinking it, under handily placed (and slightly off-colour) signs. Chug son, chug. You think boat , not spinach , when you hear the word 'Popeye'. Yep, there's Jennifer Hawkins. Oh, and Popeye. You still can't believe Dazzeland closed down. You feel strangely possessive about the precise position of the Mall's Balls. The reason why no one meets anyone at the Balls on Friday nights any more ... preachers. You NEVER EVER let another driver merge into your lane ahead of you. Ever. Is it the Aussie flags or the Bintang sticker that's the big giveaway? You know that ' pie floater ' isn't a dirty euphemism. The pie cart, back in 1996. Imagine if pie floaters had include fritz ... You call the Murray River the River Murray because you think it sounds posh (er). Ah, the serenity. You're secretly proud when tourists ask you what part of England you're from. Since we can't run a photo of someone speaking proper English, here's a photo of an actress preparing for an open-air performance of Wuthering Heights, in Cornwall, UK. You've gotten third-degree sunburn on the Hill at Adelaide Oval. 30+ suncream? Why would you when you've got watermelons for hats? You pretend to know the difference between a tempranillo, a grenache and a petit verdot. Well, I'm enjoying the piquant bouquet, redolent of strawberry shavings, Ghanaian cocoa beans and just a hint of old smuggler's socks. Now where's the spit bucket? You felt guilty and rushed out to buy a jar of Spring Gully pickles a few months ago. Come on ... you know you did. You think Vili is a culinary god. If you have a portrait painted of you, you must be pretty good at making pies. Your family used go on holiday at the same spot on the river or coast each year. Why would you go anywhere else? You have no problem in stealing something from Victorians , since they already stole something from us. The Australian F1 Grand Prix in Adelaide. Be honest - you haven't watched it since the Vics flogged it, have you? And yes, we haven't mentioned Woodies, Haigh's, Bickford's, Stobie poles, FruChocs or Kitchener buns. So over to you - you know you're South Australian when ...