At 60, Britain's oldest mum of IVF twins finally admits: I wish I had a man to help me Carole Hobson had IVF twins Freida and Matthew at age 58 She became a pensioner this year, and Freida called her 'Nanna' Says she needs an extra pair of hands for the physical support As every mother knows, there's no more heartmelting moment than when your baby calls out for you, seeking reassurance and love. But spare a thought for Carole Hobson, whose two-year-old daughter, Freida, turned to her a fortnight ago, looked into her eyes and said: 'Nanna.' Carole will be 61 this month. On Christmas Eve 2010, she became Britain's oldest mother of twins, Freida and Matthew, who were conceived through IVF in an Indian clinic. Today, she is giving her first interview since becoming a pensioner - albeit one who looks after two toddlers single-handedly - after retiring from her job as a social worker. She began to draw her occupational pension earlier this year. Carole Hobson, 61, mother to two-year-old twins Freida and Matthew conceived through IVF Carole admits she has lost count of the number of people who have wrongly assumed she is the children's grandmother. The latest came a few days before Freida called her 'Nanna'. They were walking through a shopping centre near their home in Kent when Freida threw herself to the floor, kicking and screaming in typical toddler fashion. Noticing she had her hands full with the twins, a shopper stopped to offer help, asking innocently: 'Are you their nanna?' Carole replied curtly: 'No, I'm their mother.' It was an incident that would have been forgotten were it not for Freida mimicking the woman a few days later. 'I thought: "Oh no, this is coming up now - the children are getting to an age where they understand," ' says Carole. 'But I told her: "No, I'm Mummy." ' Taking care of two-year-old twins would be a challenge for any parent, but for a single, first-time mum of pensionable age with a back problem so severe she qualifies for a Blue Badge disabled parking permit, it can be nothing short of overwhelming. Between the ages of 55 and 58, she underwent four failed rounds of IVF, using donor eggs and sperm And it seems Carole, who went to great lengths to conceive - following four failed IVF attempts, she had donor embryos implanted in her uterus at a clinic in Mumbai - had no idea what she was letting herself in for. 'I don't think people sit you down and spell out the drawbacks of motherhood,' she says. If they said "You will get two hours sleep that night and the next night and the night after," you would think: "Oh my God." But somehow you cope... I've had a few respiratory infections because lack of sleep can make you poorly. If I give them cereal, they throw it everywhere. I pick up all their bugs from nursery. It's SO exhausting' They also bring home viruses from nursery, because they catch everything, and then I get it. My mum, who's in her 80s, tells me to have a flu jab like she does.' Though the twins now sleep through the night, Carole is up with them at 6.30am each day. She is so exhausted by the time they go to bed at 7.30pm that she often falls asleep on the couch. 'They don't get cereal with milk any more as they throw it around and I am constantly sweeping the floor,' she says. 'That's the bit that's surprised me most.' However, Carole insists that hers is a happy-ever-after tale of a woman who became a single mother of two exuberant children at a time when others are contemplating leisurely Saga holidays. She is, she says, determined to show those who criticised her for having twins so late in life that she is making a success of it. Delightful and a great source of joy to her though her children are, Carole has come to the conclusion, a little late in the day perhaps, that what she needs is a man to share the burden. 'My age is not an issue,' she says. But I need an extra pair of hands. Carole at 58, at home in Sittingbourne, three weeks after bringing her twins home 'I wouldn't get involved in a relationship for an extra pair of hands, obviously. But if you are in a relationship, you do have that help. It's not the emotional support as such, it's the physical support. For example, help with getting two children through an airport, which is no mean feat as I discovered when I took them to Spain this summer. But wouldn't it take a special sort of 60-something man to be willing to take on twin toddlers? 'No, because I think these children are so lovely - and you are assuming I would go for a man older than myself,' she says. So, she's looking for a toyboy? 'To be honest, I haven't given it a huge amount of thought. It has been a very busy and satisfying couple of years. A more significant matter Carole has been unable to find time for is making a will. Or, indeed, making provision for someone to step in and take care of the children should anything happen to her. A headteacher's daughter and the eldest of four children, Carole grew up in Lancashire, but has lived in Kent for many years. She describes her three younger brothers, who are all married with grown-up children, as 'very traditional, very conventional'. One of them called her 'crazy' when she announced her decision to try for a baby in her 50s. She has never married and says it was not until her late 40s, when it was too late to conceive naturally, that she felt maternal urges. At the time, she was involved in an on-off, long-distance relationship with a geologist, who refused to father a child by fertilising donor eggs to be implanted in Carole's womb. So, between the ages of 55 and 58, she underwent four rounds of IVF, using donor eggs and sperm at a clinic in Cyprus, all of which failed. Record braker The world's oldest mother, Rajo Devi Lohan, gave birth in India to a daughter at the age of 69 In a last-ditch bid to become a mother, Carole flew to a Mumbai clinic, where six embryos were inserted into her uterus, three of which successfully implanted. Thirteen weeks later and back home in Britain with the pregnancy taking its toll, Carole opted for a 'selective reduction' to improve the remaining babies' chances of survival. A needle was inserted into one of the embryo's hearts to inject a chemical that stopped it beating. Making this decision was clearly painful for Carole, who says she thinks about this baby 'every single day'. 'I knew that if I tried to carry all three babies the risk of disability was much higher, as was the risk of premature birth and losing them all,' she says. 'I knew that I wouldn't be able to cope with three severely disabled children, who might need 24-hour care or be unable to lead independent lives.' Carole recently moved house to be closer to better schools because she believes that with a good education the twins won't need to rely on her in later life. 'Of course, I want to provide for them, but realistically they have got to be able to provide for themselves from the age of 18,' she says. With the right education they will be set up for life. I don't do much forward planning because they're at an age where they demand lots of attention and need to be watched all the time. But I'd like to see my grandchildren.' I point out that were her children to start families aged 30 - almost half the age she was when they were born - she would be 88 by the time she had grandchildren. Carole could do with a hand for the physical support but is a 'more motivated' mother being older now 'Oh God, would I?' she says. 'Let's hope medicine has improved, especially if I'm supposed to look after the grandchildren! 'But I don't feel any different to when I was 20 or 30. I think I'm coping with motherhood better because I'm more motivated than when I was younger.' However, Carole's need for support was never more evident than two weekends ago when Freida suffered a severe asthma attack and had to be treated in hospital. With her parents in their 80s and living hundreds of miles away, and brothers and friends beyond the baby stage of parenting, she says she felt she had no one she could ask to take care of Matthew. And so all three were forced to stay in a hospital room overnight while Freida's breathing was checked hourly by nursing staff. The twins are no strangers to hospital, having spent their first two months in neo-natal care after being delivered nine weeks prematurely by emergency Caesarean, weighing just 3lb 3oz each. Carole pictured when she was pregnant Fluid was drained from their under-developed lungs: Freida had three operations, Matthew one. Because of being born premature, they have regular developmental checks at which both are performing well - Freida beyond her years. Matthew is lactose intolerant, an allergy which was only diagnosed when he was 13 months old and rushed to hospital in agony. He also chooses to eat only a limited number of foods, including pancakes and chips. Freida often follows suit. Coping with these stresses would be hard for a married mother half Carole's age, who would no doubt be advised to seek out support from other mums locally. However, other than the three days a week that the children are at nursery, Carole seems to be raising them in a vacuum. There are no little friends calling round to play or other mothers on hand with whom Carole can share battle-weary tales over a cup of tea. 'As an adult, your friends don't tend to live nearby,' she says. 'It's only when you've got children that you realise you need people next door. 'Any single parent will have experienced something akin to what I'm going through. You simply muddle through and cope because you have to. Even married couples with relatives living on the doorstep will have times when there is no one else around and they have got to deal with something alone. 'You've got to be strong for your children. And as an older mother you are more empowered and more able to take on the world when you have to. However, it's not hard to see why Carole may think twice about taking her children to a playgroup, where she would face uncomfortable questions from the other mums. With their olive complexions and jet black hair, her children bear no resemblance to fair-skinned, fair-haired Carole. That's not surprising given that the egg donor was a 24-year-old Indian woman while the sperm came from a 6ft Scandinavian engineering graduate, both selected from clinic catalogues. When they travelled to Spain on holiday, Carole was asked by passport control what relation she was to the children. She told the Spanish immigration officer that she was their mother and, as their passports showed they shared the same surname, he didn't question her further. What the twins know: 'Mummy wanted a little girl called Freida and a little boy called Matthew and I travelled around the world to find you and brought you home' So, other mums on the playgroup circuit could be forgiven for assuming that Carole is a doting granny taking care of the twins while their parents work. 'If people seem surprised to hear I'm their mum, I say: "Oh yeah, I do look a bit rough', because I know that I don't," says Carole. After all, some mothers in their 40s can look quite old. In fact, considering all she is juggling, Carole is well-groomed, with highlighted hair in a shoulder-length bob, and elegantly dressed. Taking care of two-year-old twins can be nothing short of overwhelming for a single, first-time mum of pensionable age with a back problem so severe she qualifies for a Blue Badge disabled parking permit She has a youthful attitude, insisting that there is nothing to stop her embarking on a new career after completing the course she's signed up for in family dispute resolution. In the meantime, she does the occasional freelance job - she is a trained social worker - while claiming working family tax credit and making plans to write a book about her life. For now, though, Carole is so busy looking after her lively toddlers - and her back injury makes it difficult even to do the ironing - that it's hard to imagine how she could fit in anything else, let alone starting a new career in her 60s. 'If a TV programme starts at 9pm, I know I won't stay awake to see it end,' she says. 'I'll fall asleep on the couch and wake up furious with myself because it takes so much energy to go upstairs and get ready for bed. 'The children are in the thick of the terrible twos, but they're growing up all the time. 'My occupational pension won't go far, but it's an advantage of being an older mum that I get that every month, no matter what. And I can always start again with a new career once I've finished my course.' Her apparent lack of concern about the future means she tackles issues as and when they arise. She has not yet decided what she will tell her children about their unconventional arrival in the world. Carole says: 'When they start asking, I will take advice from help groups, such as the Donor Conception Network, to see what's best to tell them. 'What I've said to them so far is that "Mummy wanted a little girl called Freida and a little boy called Matthew and I travelled around the world to find you and brought you home'. 'But I've recently discovered the female donor already had two children, so the twins have two half-siblings who, you never know, they may meet one day - so that's quite interesting.' Up to now, Carole has felt too overwhelmed to tackle the 600-mile round trip to take the twins to visit her family in Lancashire, so being close to their extended family appears to be low down in her list of priorities. With the benefit of hindsight, would she have done things differently? 'No,' she says. 'If I'd had children earlier or with a partner, I'd never have had these two children - and I think they're fabulous.'