The Lone Ranger - Telegraph Like everyone else, I suspect, I find Johnny Depp hard to dislike as an actor: where I'm sceptical is on the question of his brilliance. With eyes that speak more eloquently than words, he has frequently claimed the cinematic space in which language retreats, and costume and physical comedy take charge. Even so, there can be limits to one's admiration, and I hit the barrier with his portrayal of Tonto, the Native American companion of The Lone Ranger, in Gore Verbinski's sprawling film of the same name. Tonto appears first as an ancient exhibit in a museum - narrating his story to an awed small boy - and then, in flashback, as a younger man, his face stained with black and white make-up and a dead crow trembling atop his head. Mostly, Tonto's face has two expressions. Depp widens his eyes, or he widens his eyes while simultaneously retracting his chin to comic effect. He speaks in parodically broken English, is indestructible and acrobatic, and doesn't feel remotely real. The central mystery of this film is why - beyond the spiritual nod of a mysterious white horse - Tonto displays any loyalty to John Reid (Armie Hammer, whose teeth outshine his one-dimensional performance), the priggish dim-witted lawyer who becomes The Lone Ranger after his fellow Texas Rangers are murdered by outlaws. Here, after their first encounter in which Tonto risks his life to slow a runaway train, Reid promptly arrests him. In another scene, he happily leaves Tonto buried in earth up to his head, only to return upon remembering that the guy in the ground knows something useful. If ever someone had a duff nose for the dictates of natural justice, it's Reid. The film is far too long and chaotic, but it looks wonderful, and at times Depp successfully echoes the dead-pan clowning of Buster Keaton in wildly spectacular, precarious situations. Yet if it's a delight for the eyes, the brain and the heart will leave disappointed. The film suffers from an identity crisis, erratically mixing death and psychopaths with clunking comedy yet still expecting us to care. The Lone Ranger and Tonto might be riding out together again, but what a desperate pity there's a ringing hollow where the special relationship ought to be.