How can we ever tell our daughter we tried to abort her? Shannon Skinner, 19, tried to terminate the pregnancy accidentally conceived 4 months after giving birth for fear it could damage her health Bled for two days and regretted but felt she did the right thing She and partner Anthony Hunt, 24, grieved for three months Months later, emergency scan revealed baby had survived By Helen Weathers Expecting: Shannon and Anthony's baby is due in May despite taking an abortion pill eight weeks in Staring in disbelief at the 3D ultrasound scan of her unborn daughter, 19-year-old Shannon Skinner would have wept with joy if she hadn't been shocked into stunned silence. The baby looked absolutely perfect, almost fully formed with a little button nose and a tiny hand raised to her face, as if waving hello to the mum she had yet to meet. When the tears finally fell, as Shannon left St Michael's Hospital in Bristol on Christmas Eve clutching the scan picture, they carried the bitter taste of guilt and fear. Because the baby wasn't meant to exist. When Shannon was almost eight weeks pregnant, she underwent an early medical abortion (a termination using pills as opposed to surgery), having accidentally conceived just four months after the traumatic birth of her first daughter Lacie, now aged ten months. Advised by doctors the pregnancy could pose a serious risk to her physical health, coming so soon after major repair surgery, Shannon - who was also being treated for post-natal depression - felt she had no choice but to have a termination. So last autumn her GP referred her to a Marie Stopes clinic in Bristol, where she took two drugs around four hours apart, the first to stop the pregnancy hormones and the second to trigger contractions. Shannon bled for two days and though she bitterly regretted the abortion, she felt she'd done the right thing for herself, partner Anthony Hunt, 24, a head chef, and Lacie. She had a contraceptive implant fitted and for three months grieved for her lost child, completely unaware the abortion had failed and that the baby was still growing inside her - until an emergency scan revealed the truth. It was a massive shock because I was convinced the abortion had been successful. I just bawled my eyes out. It was the last thing I was expecting," says Shannon, a waitress. I then felt petrified, out of my mind with worry that the abortion pills had affected the baby, but it wasn't until I saw the 3D scan of my daughter that I fell in love with her. Once I'd seen her face, everything was different. Shannon and Anthony then faced another dilemma. Would they keep the baby they thought they'd aborted? Indeed, because of the higher risk of birth defects associated with the abortion drugs Shannon was given, she was offered a surgical termination. The legal limit for abortion is 24 weeks, so Shannon had less than four weeks to decide. To see your baby's face and then be told you can still go through with an abortion, how can you? To survive the first abortion, my daughter obviously wanted to be here and now I'm really looking forward to seeing her," says Shannon, whose baby is due in early May. If anything has happened to her because of the abortion medication I took, I will have to live with the regret. Proud: Shannon thought she was saving the baby from a difficult life. But now she is more determined than ever to make sure the little girl survives and is happy When she is here I will love her, but I'll never stop feeling guilty that at one stage I tried to get rid of her. I just don't know how we are going to explain that to her when she is older. I will always regret the abortion, but I'll never regret having her. She must be remarkable to have survived that and I just can't wait to hold her. Shannon is five months pregnant, but her bump is barely visible when I arrive at her neat, tidy flat in Bristol. Anthony is playing with Lacie, who is an adorable poppet. They seem like a sweet and loving couple, if rather shell-shocked, but terribly young to be taking on the challenge and financial burden of two young babies, especially in such distressing circumstances. Both babies - Shannon insists - were the result of contraceptive failures rather than carelessness on their part and she feels badly let down by the NHS when she was trying to act responsibly. Shannon had hoped to go to university to study social work, but insists she and Anthony - who have been together for three years - dreamed of having children together. Only not quite this soon. She was 17 when she fell pregnant with Lacie. "My mum always told me to have a career and live my life before settling down with children," says Shannon, whose parents split up when she was two. My dad, a sergeant in the Army, wanted me to join the Services and build a life for myself. It was a shock when I fell pregnant because I was on the Pill, but there was no question of having an abortion. We were excited to be having a child, but my parents were disappointed. Like Shannon, Anthony's parents split up when he was very young and from the age of five he had little contact with his father Mike, a roofer. To be honest, I was delighted when Shannon fell pregnant. I couldn't wait to be a dad and wanted to prove I could be a better father than my own," says Anthony, who has worked since leaving school and was a head chef by the age of 19. When Lacie was born, I was so happy I cried my eyes out. She's my world. I couldn't love her any more than I do. She was everything we dreamed of. Sadly, however, Lacie's birth was so swift - just 17 minutes after arriving at hospital - that Shannon suffered a third degree tear and some of her internal organs were ruptured. She had an emergency operation to repair the damage and was advised not to become pregnant for at least two years and that even then there could be serious complications. Returning home in pain to their top-floor flat with a baby who wouldn't sleep, Shannon developed severe post-natal depression. Anthony was working 50-hour weeks to support his young family, returning at night after a ten-hour shift. They started to argue constantly. I felt very emotional and at times I couldn't cope. Anthony did everything for the first two weeks after Lacie was born because I was in so much pain and could barely move. When he went back to work I felt so alone and frightened," says Shannon. The strain proved too much and the couple agreed to live separately when Lacie was just four months old. Two weeks after Anthony moved out, Shannon discovered to her horror that she was pregnant again. I was feeling ill, sick and worried. When I told Anthony I might be pregnant, he said: "You can't be, we used condoms," " says Shannon. Her partner Anthony Hunt, 24, was worried for Shannon's health after the birth of their first daughter Lacie Pregnancy tests all came back positive. My first thought wasn't "I can't have this baby," it was: "What if I do have this baby?" I didn't want to have an abortion, but I kept thinking of Lacie and how unfair it would be on her if anything happened to me and she was left alone or I couldn't look after her. Anthony says: "Neither of us believes in abortion, but my immediate reaction was that it wasn't right to bring another child into the world in these circumstances. I was worried about Shannon's health and our relationship had broken up. We had to think of Lacie. Shannon was undecided when she went to her GP to confirm the pregnancy, but reluctantly decided to terminate when he explained giving birth could cause serious complications and internal damage. Following a telephone consultation with a doctor at Marie Stopes, Shannon was booked in for a medical abortion when she was seven weeks and two days pregnant. Anthony was there to support her. "We were scared, and I was having so many doubts," says Shannon. "I kept saying to Anthony "I don't think I can do this," and he said: "Whatever decision you make I'll back you." We were on the point of walking out when my name was called. I cried for ten minutes before I could take the first medication. I had to make myself think of Lacie to go through with it, but I was full of regret. Early medical abortions account for 30 per cent of abortions carried out at under nine weeks" gestation. 'Neither of us believes in abortion, but my immediate reaction was that it wasn't right to bring another child into the world in these circumstances. I was worried about Shannon's health. partner Anthony Hunt, 24 Many women, like Shannon, choose a medical abortion over a surgical abortion because it is considered less invasive and distressing, mimicking a natural miscarriage. It involves taking the drug mifepristone orally, which inhibits the normal action of the hormone progesterone, which is essential for pregnancy. This is followed by misoprostol, which can be taken on the same day or up to three days later, which causes the uterus to contract and expel the embryo. However medical abortions have a higher failure rate than surgical abortions, with up to 14 in every 1,000 failing to end the pregnancy, though some studies suggest the failure rate could be as high as 3 or 4 per cent. In one in 100 cases, the womb is not entirely emptied and further medical intervention is needed. The risk of infection is one in ten. Women who have suffered a failed medical abortion are offered a surgical abortion, as mifespristone carries an increased risk of birth defects, including limb deficiencies, digit abnormalities, skull and central nervous system defects. The four hours I waited between the two abortion drugs were the worst of my life. I was in a terrible state knowing what I had just done and still had to do," says Shannon. A couple of hours after taking the second set of drugs, I started bleeding heavily. For weeks I cried all the time and felt so guilty, but I told myself it was something I had to do for Lacie. The Marie Stopes clinic warned Shannon of the failure rates and gave her two pregnancy tests to use three and four weeks after the termination to check she was no longer pregnant. They told her to call them if she had any problems. At home: The couple are now prepared to bring up their little girl into a loving home When the two pregnancy tests showed positive, Shannon went to her GP, but a third test at the surgery was negative. Reassured, Shannon left thinking the positive result had been caused by her contraceptive implant or hormone fluctuations from the terminated pregnancy. She feels upset that she didn't undergo a scan at this stage to confirm if she was pregnant or not. "I started to worry I was still pregnant when I could feel movements in my tummy, but people kept telling me it must be trapped wind or caused by the repair surgery," says Shannon, who was also suffering from morning sickness, which she put down to the contraceptive implant. I just couldn't believe that an embryo could survive a termination, so when I did a pregnancy test on December 19 which showed positive I thought I must have fallen pregnant again after the termination. When I went to my GP he was very surprised and said it was extremely rare for the contraceptive implant to fail and even suggested it might be a phantom pregnancy. Shannon was sent for an emergency scan on December 21, expecting to be told she was pregnant with a foetus no older than ten weeks. "All I remember is Anthony looking at the screen as the sonographer did the scan and hearing him say: "Wow, that's a big baby." The sonographer seemed a bit confused and was asking me the date of the termination and how far gone I was when it was carried out. Then she said: "This is the same baby." Then the midwife said: "The termination obviously failed." That's when I bawled my eyes out. I started to worry I was still pregnant when I could feel movements in my tummy, but people kept telling me it must be trapped wind or caused by the repair surgery I was so frightened the baby had been damaged. I was scared out of my wits. On Christmas Eve, Shannon went for a scan to check her unborn baby for defects, during which the consultant produced the 3D scan. "They checked the baby in detail and the consultant spoke to the drug manufacturers about side effects, but because this is so rare he couldn't give me any statistics," says Shannon. My baby looks perfect, but the consultant said he can't guarantee everything will be 100 per cent when she is born. Even if she has no visible deformities, they've told me they will have to monitor her closely for three years in case she's suffered any damage that has affected her functioning skills. A midwife at St Michael's Hospital, where Shannon is receiving check-ups, has launched an investigation into what happened and the couple have complained to Marie Stopes International, which carried out the procedure for the NHS. A Marie Stopes spokesman said: "Very occasionally, the medical abortion pill can fail. Cases like this are few and far between but, of course, that does not make the situation any less upsetting. A spokesman for the British Pregnancy Advisory Service has also said: "Good follow-up care is important and any symptoms of ongoing pregnancy should be investigated. The medication has been associated with an increased risk of birth defects, but that does not mean women in this rare situation cannot go on to have a healthy baby, and scans should provide reassurance. But Shannon and Anthony, who are trying to rebuild their relationship and are determined to bring up their daughters as a family, face an anxious wait with no guarantee of a happy ending. Shannon suffered bleeding over Christmas and was back in hospital on Boxing Day. She has a higher risk of miscarriage as a result of the injuries she sustained during Lacie's birth. She may need a cervical stitch, which reduces the risk of miscarriage, and has been told the baby will have to be delivered by caesarean to prevent further internal damage. "It's very frightening and I wish I'd never had the abortion in the first place," says Shannon. It's going to be challenging and every time I look at her I'll feel guilty, but whatever happens she will be loved.