Inside a sexless marriage: 'I will hit rock bottom and get sex from other men' Julianna says she has sex with her husband 10 times a year, tops. THE first time her future husband was naked on top of her, Julianna Colt thought to herself "Oh no, this is not going to work." They'd been dating about three weeks at this point. Julianna wasn't attracted to his body and the sex, she says, was just "meh." I was used to being with hot, young guys with muscular, sculpted bodies. I was like a guy in that way: I needed a hot body," she writes at Elizabeth Street , a blog for mums. This man had ticks in all Julianna's other boxes - he was handsome, fun, confident and mature. But she wished the sexual chemistry was stronger. We were definitely lustful for each other and it was fun to be with him, but the mechanics were sorely lacking. I didn't like the order he did things," she recounts. I didn't like his lack of attention to certain areas, and I didn't love his motion in the ocean. But I was determined not to worry since everything else with us was so great. We were falling in love. This is not what Julianna had with her husband. And it wasn't just their sexual styles that varied. Julianna noticed their libidos were in different gears too. We would come home drunk from a fun night out and I would want to start making out before we'd even made it through the door. He was easily embarrassed and would push me away in public and then when we got home he would want to order late night pizza rather than eating me, so to speak. She recognises these things as huge red flags, but ignored them because she had a great guy who wanted to marry her. I hadn't really had that before. Julianna decided to take the lead. When they became engaged, Julianna took charge and started to give her fiance pointers about how she liked to have sex, and positions he could assume. But this embarrassed her man. Offended, he stopped and rolled over. I knew he was sensitive but, my god, was he so sensitive that I couldn't even talk about sex? My previous boyfriend loved any sort of commentary or instruction. It felt so normal and natural to me to be able to talk about what I wanted sexually. During their engagement, the pair had less and less of their "horrible sex." The frequency dwindled to one or two times a month. They got married anyway, and finally the chemistry ignited on their wedding night. That night in our hotel suite we had the best sex and the most physically connected night of our lives together to date. He was amazing, the sex felt amazing, we did it multiple times. It was all unprecedented. I was thrilled - it meant that we were capable of having great sex," she recalls, saying that the good sex lasted into their honeymoon. When the honeymoon was over, so was the decent intercourse. Years down the track, that spark has fizzled. Julianna says she's had sex with her husband only 10 times a year every year since they married. Everyday life - her children, pregnancies, work, etc - distract Julianna from the anger, embarrassment and sadness she feels. But she lives with a nagging feeling. I can't help but know that I went from a life of having sex 300 times a year to 10, if I am lucky. The couple discusses the issue a lot. Julianna's husband feels misunderstood and under-appreciated and that affects his libido. But Julianna doesn't buy it. She believes a man's sexual desire should be strong enough to overcome such "trivial things." When I was looking for marriage counsellors I came across an article about sexual incompatibility in couples. It said that if a couple has sex less than 10 times a year, then they are in a 'sexless marriage'. It felt like another nail in the coffin of my marriage," she writes. She describes the horrible cycle she lives in. She feels angry and rejected, and every night she waits for him to make the first move. The obvious solution is to talk about the problem with her husband, but Julianna says he shuts down. Now I watch gorgeous men on TV and fantasise. I have my little electronic friend who satisfies me weekly. Every time I have an electronically-induced orgasm I tell myself I need to find a new lover. She's not ready to cheat, but admits she thinks about it all the time. If my husband and I ever do break up one day, it will be due to our sexual differences. I think one day I will hit rock bottom and simply tell him that I need to have sex with other people. What do you think of Julianna's story? Comment below or continue the conversation on Twitter @newscomauHQ. Read Julianna's story at Elizabeth Street. She's written another piece called Should I Get a Divorce.