Sketch: GDP (George Delivers Putdowns) Helpful Tory MP: "Mr Speaker, would the Chancellor agree with me that our party strategists have dreamt up a new slogan, Long-Term Economic Plan, which we are under orders to repeat at every opportunity, irrespective of how mindlessly servile it may make us appear? And second, would it benefit my career to tee him up for a scripted putdown at the expense of the Shadow Chancellor? Luke Osborne: "Dad, please can I have some more pocket money? It's been £2 a week for nearly four years now. George Osborne: "Today's GDP figures show our economy grew by 0.7 per cent last quarter. These numbers are a boost for the security of hardworking children, and, thanks to the difficult choices we have made, I can today announce a rise in pocket money of 6p a week - three per cent more than it would have been under the plans of the mother opposite. Frances Osborne: "Oh, shut up about your blasted GDP figures and finish your dinner. But leave room for pudding. I went to Waitrose and got us a huge custard tart, half-price. George Osborne: "Excellent. A long-term economic flan. The standard of pun, if you can believe it, was even lower in the Commons. Mr Osborne reminded MPs of various inaccurate predictions made by the Shadow Chancellor, then concluded: "What they need on the other side of the House is new crystal balls!" Mr Balls's response was not entirely laudatory. Very good, Chancellor. A joke about my surname being Balls. Fabulous. Still, Tory MPs enjoyed it. In fact, they enjoyed the whole session. When Mr Balls first rose they gave him the biggest cheer I've ever heard him receive. Even the Speaker joined in the fun. "Keep calm!" he scolded them, not very sternly, a smile playing on his lips. You've got the man at the box for whom you were waiting! A shadow minister, Catherine McKinnell, called them complacent. They shook their heads and chuckled indulgently.