Clive Palmer's criticism of Nick Xenophon's hair is a bit off-colour Focussing on Senator Nick Xenophon's hair is a silly distraction from the real issue of Senate power-sharing. POLITICIANS in glass hair salons should not throw stones. That is pertinent to Clive Palmer. His latest political dig, that Nick Xenophon has "got the blackest hair, you'd think he was an Asian," is wrong on so many fronts. It's guilty of racial stereotyping, sure. It's a silly distraction from the real issue of Senate power-sharing, without doubt. But worst of all, Palmer's slur stinks of hair hypocrisy. A quick trawl through the archives reveals Clive did a little more than dabble with dye. The bloke soaked in it. Just on a year ago, he looked like Betty Rubble from the Flintstones ... in drag. Mercifully he ditched the black dye job and went grey. But the jury's out on whether the latest shade is in fact natural. "Clive is a natural brunette and dyes his hair grey to look more distinguished," an insider has said. Incidentally, US President Barack Obama has been accused of fast-tracking his greying hair, but I think stress could be at the root of his "problem." Perhaps Clive's a little jealous? I mean Hellenic Nick could be the pin up boy for Grecian 2000. The independent senator has the trifecta: luscious locks, a rich hue and an impressive hair line that doesn't look like it will recede until 2050. And Clive? Well he's just a whisker away from a comb-over. The real issue here is ageing blokes' dye jobs. The fact they do it in an attempt to look younger - and don't think we'll notice - is risible. Men's bottled assistance generally falls in to three camps. There's the copper-brown crown favoured by Donald Trump. It's not just the radioactive colour that is uproarious. He is quoted as saying, "I get a lot of credit for comb-overs. But it's not really a comb-over. It's sort of a little bit forward and back. Ah-huh. A lot of thought goes in to Donald's 'do. Alec Baldwin also went the copper tinge. But he's ageing disgracefully well now that he's retired both his 30 Rock character, Jack Donaghy, and the dye job. Then there's Palmer's former jet-black shade. 1970s US track and field athlete Bruce Jenner looks pretty absurd in his goth mop. Liza Minnelli's ex-husband David Gest has obviously been dipping in to her hair dye - with dire results. And John Travolta's still hoping to resurrect Greased Lightning with his. But without doubt the worst offender is Geoffrey Edelsten. He once had soft wavy grey locks. Now he looks like an angry black chipmunk. Finally there's the bogan blonde brigade led by Shane Warne. He clung on to those tips despite his still recent Hurley-burly makeover. Second in Command is Warwick Capper. This is the once AFL "legend" who felt the need to bring out a single I Only Take What's Mine. Except when it comes to his God-given hair colour. David Beckham ditched that look a long time ago. Although even sensible hair hasn't yet won him a knighthood ... I confess I have a weakness for 50 shades of grey on a guy. There is something spicy about salt 'n' pepper on a man. Take George Clooney. He puts the "mmmm" into mature man. Other Silver Foxes of note include: Mark Bouris, Harrison Ford, Baz Luhrmann, Richard Gere, Pierce Brosnan and recent inductees Brad Pitt and Robbie Williams. Of course I, too, would be a hypocrite if I criticised men who coloured their hair. I have spent a small mortgage at the hairdresser's over the decades. And here's a little Secret Women's Business revelation: a trip to the salon can cost north of 120 bucks. That's before you get sucked in to buying all the hair care products. So is it fair women are expected to dye their hair and men are laughed at when they do? Women just do it better. And pay a professional for it. So blokes, if you feel the need to hide the greys, don't try this it home. Interestingly Canada and the EU banned the use of men's hair dye Grecian Formula because it uses lead acetate. Which brings me back to our Grecian Hair God, Nick Xenophon. Anonymous sources very, very close to the Independent Senator confirm he does not have a dye job. A bloke who wears $100 suits isn't going to bother with his hair. Elise Elliott is a senior reporter with Channel 9. Twitter @EliseElliott9