Suggestions for Filibuster Reform - NYTimes.com ONE item likely to be on the 113th Congress's agenda - the Senate majority leader, Harry Reid, has hinted as much - is filibuster reform. Over the last three Congresses, the number of filibusters introduced by minority Republicans has hit record levels, and an always-pokey institution has become a civics-class horror show, a legislative abattoir where perky, fresh-faced bills go not to become law but to die protracted, agonizing deaths, less "Schoolhouse Rock" than "Saw." Some proposals for reform: N.F.L.-Style Challenges. Football coaches are allowed three challenges to referees" calls per game. Similarly, each party could be granted three filibusters per Congress. This would add a fascinating strategic wrinkle to the legislative process: say it's the end of next year and Republicans have only one filibuster left - do they use it to block a progressive tax bill, or hold on to it in case President Obama nominates Bill Ayers to the Supreme Court in 2014? The sight of Mitch McConnell or Harry Reid tossing yellow flags onto the Senate floor might be great theater, or possibly not, given the unhappy history of ceremonial first pitches. Assigned Reading. Two rule changes. First, to filibuster, senators would once again have to hold the floor by speaking for hours on end, "Mr. Smith Goes to Washington"-style; and second, they would have to do so reading material of the opposing party's choosing. Legislators would surely be less cavalier about blocking bills if they knew it would mean plowing, aloud, through the entire "Fifty Shades" trilogy or a stack of old GQ's from the 1970s. Should these measures fail to deter filibuster abuse, the majority party could always invoke the nuclear option: "Courage to Stand: An American Story," by Tim Pawlenty. Immunity Challenges. Senators could protect favored bills from filibuster by winning "Survivor"-style challenges like assembling a giant puzzle blindfolded or eating non-Western subsistence foods without vomiting. This rule would also increase the Senate's overall approval ratings, because who wouldn't want to see if Barbara Mikulski could save greenhouse gas offsets by keeping down a meal of stink beetle larvae and camel's blood? Strip Filibusters. With every new filibuster, supporting senators would take off another article of clothing, forcing legislators eventually to ask themselves, "Do I object to this trade bill or naval-yard closing so strenuously that I'm willing to let Al Franken see me naked?" Taylor Swift-Boating. If a senator abuses the filibuster, Taylor Swift will write a very harsh song about him or her, e.g., "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together, Marco Rubio" or "Mean (and by "Mean" I Mean You, Kirsten Gillibrand)." If the legislator continues, despite Ms. Swift's having come up with an excellent rhyme for "Regina George-like," the star will buy a home next to the senator's family compound, become besties with the senator's mother, and just generally persist. The Lysistrata Rule. For the duration of a filibuster, supporting senators would be denied all intimate contact - not only with spouses and significant others, of course, but also aides, lobbyists, call girls, rent boys and Twitter followers. Are You More Patient than a Fifth Grader? A senator proposing a filibuster would first have to successfully explain current rules regarding filibusters and cloture votes to a 10-year-old of average intelligence (as chosen by the nonpartisan Congressional Child-Picking Office). The filibuster could proceed only after the 10-year-old was subsequently able to explain the rules to a 5-year-old with attention-deficit disorder and SpongeBob on in the next room. Bruce Handy is a writer and editor at Vanity Fair.