With Carla Bruni around? Yes, we need feminism Earlier this year, she told French reporters that she and her husband were "modest people. We eat pasta, too. She announced that her favourite pastime is to sit with her baby daughter on her knee while they watch soap operas and the French version of the dating show, Farmer Wants a Wife. Whereas she once swung from chandeliers with Eric Clapton and Mick Jagger (though not both at the same time), and professed that she found monogamy "madly boring... I prefer polygamy and polyandry," she now sees fit to lecture Valérie Trierweiler, the new first lady, for not being married to François Hollande. This from the woman who once tried to persuade Donald Trump to leave his wife - and who left another of her lovers for his own son. It is simpler to be the legitimate wife of the head of state than his partner. I tried to show that I was prepared to do my duty," purred Mrs Bruni-Sarkozy, taking a pot shot at her successor when she heard of Ms Trierweiler's audacious desire to continue with her career after moving to the Elysée Palace. Mrs Bruni-Sarkozy's assertion that women should forget about feminism and stay at home and watch television with their children is offensive to every single person ever born with two X chromosomes. It insults women who work and women who opt not to - or who can't - have children, and it insults stay-at-home mothers, too. Does being a housewife preclude you from being a feminist? And is the term "housewife" even valid any more? A new survey - carried out by IPC media - of 2,000 British women aged between 40 and 60 found that 93 per cent were in control of the family finances, while 92 per cent chose large appliances for the home and 85 per cent made the decision about where the family goes on holiday. Not surprisingly, these women find the phrase "housewife" old-fashioned and derogatory. They prefer instead to be known as the family CEO. Of course, it is doubtful that Mrs Bruni-Sarkozy has ever had to go through anything even close to the day-to-day grind experienced by Joanna Bloggs. When did she last iron a uniform, make up a lunch box and help with homework all at the same time? "It is slightly frustrating to hear a wonderful celebrity tell us about their lifestyle choices," agrees Siobhan Freegard, the founder and managing director of the parenting website, Netmums. Freegard is just about to embark on the manic school run when I call her. I'm always amused to hear what Gwyneth Paltrow has to say on the subject. Women like Carla Bruni have help and childcare, and for them, being a "stay-at-home" mum is all very nice and about having lunch with the girls. But if you speak to the average woman who is looking after a one-year-old and a three-year-old, they will tell you that it is the hardest job in the world. You can't get anything done. You can't go upstairs or to the loo without your brood following you with all their toys. It isn't just about baking cupcakes, believe me. Carla is yummy mummy to everybody else's slummy mummy: most of us really need to juggle, juggle, juggle. Of course, for many women staying at home simply isn't an option. "There is something basic and primeval about wanting to be at home with your very young children," says Freegard. But in the real world it isn't always possible. In fact, it rarely is. The truth is that the system has changed, and working women are now a huge, integral part of the economy. And then there are those women who see the staggering cost of childcare and realise they simply cannot afford to go to work. They would like a job but it doesn't make any financial sense. There is never a perfect answer," Freegard says. The novelist Fay Weldon agrees. Just because a woman stays at home to look after the children, it doesn't mean she is devoid of a brain - though I suspect that Carla is. Many housewives dream of going on to work when their children leave home, of training to be a doctor or whatever. These things are often a matter of income, not intellect. In this modern, so-called "progressive" world, we are damned if we do and damned if we don't. So if feminism is about women having choices, then, ironically, all Carlarggggh has done is prove that we still need people to fight its cause - more than ever.