Friends: The One with the Guy in a Yellow Tie And finally, George had informed him that Dame Helen Ghosh had accused him of running the Government as an chauvinist Old Etonian clique that excluded women. He'd looked him blankly. You remember Dame Helen, don't you? George had said. The one with the enormous... ..."chip on her shoulder?" finished Dave. Only dimly. Always thought she was some sort of secretary. Anyway, it's an outrage to say we're an Etonian clique. I mean, you went to St Paul's. And Nick was at Westminster - talk about escaping disadvantage. Anyway, Dave had decided to take his mind off his problems, while venting a few frustrations. So he'd summarily moved No 10"s Bonfire Night celebrations to a spot in the garden just outside Nick's window, and tasked his little helpers with building as accurate a dummy of the dummy as possible. Other candidates had been suggested, such as Mark Reckless or Lord Patten, but it was felt that no one would recognise the former, and an effigy of the latter would be too heavy to lift. "Are we all ready, then?" asked Dave, as the Tory members of the Cabinet gathered around the pyre, in what resembled the climax of The Wicker Man, if the cultists had been wearing Savile Row suits. With that, he thrust his lit torch into the pyre - only to watch as it struggled to ignite the damp wood. "Hah!" said Nick, flinging open the window above. Typical Tory incompetence. "Don't worry," said Dave, with an evil grin. We've got a back-up plan. With that, George stepped forward, bearing dozens of copies of the Coalition Agreement - and dumped them on the fire. As the flames began to crackle around Nick's cardboard face, Dave reflected that, for the first time in an awfully long while, he almost felt content.