Why Winston Churchill will always be the last word in political wit The reason I've been thinking about this is that the other morning I received a copy of the newly published Dictionary of Humorous Political Quotations (editor Fred Metcalf, publisher Biteback). Open it at random - indeed, open any book of quotes at random - and chances are you'll find some choicest Churchill, or at least, a line that's been attributed to him because it sounds too good to be by anyone else. I suppose I'll have to declare an interest. Churchill's wasn't the first name that caught my eye as I flicked through the book. In fact it was, well, all right, mine, sitting beneath some heartless and unjust slur about Gordon Brown looking like a bad-tempered wardrobe in a suit. Of course I'm not so repulsively egotistical as to have immediately scoured the book for any other lines taken from my parliamentary sketches. (There were 15. Precisely 15. I checked twice, cackling maniacally. As none of my colleagues were in the office that early, on their behalf I kicked myself down the nearest flight of stairs.) Then there's what I'll call the Molotov cocktail - not so much a witticism as an incendiary weapon lobbed in the direction of the enemy. For example, the headline on a column by the gleefully provocative Republican commentator Ann Coulter: "Liberals Love America Like OJ Loved Nicole." After Churchill, the wittiest politicians are probably the two Johnsons: Boris ("My position on cake is pro-having it, and pro-eating it") and Lyndon B ("Only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First, let her think she's having her own way. And second, let her have it. Not strictly political, but so good I'm quoting it anyway). For an insult to score, it must be specific. It's no use just calling people thick. Take this American bumper sticker: "If ignorance is bliss, then you must be one happy liberal!" On the face of it, neat enough. Trouble is, you could change "liberal" to "Republican" (or whatever else you like) and it would make no material difference: it's still the same joke. Unlike, say, "The problem with socialism is you eventually run out of other people's money" (attributed to Mrs Thatcher). That could apply only to the named ideology. Yes, political quips are reductive - but reductive in a good way. So much in politics is long, pompous and dull. A decent witticism reduces it to something short, sharp and amusing. More than that, it makes politics seem graspable, in a way that rambling rhetoric doesn't. To quote that deathless wit, Anon: "A Communist is someone who has nothing and wishes to share it with the world." Those 15 words say more than most half-hour speeches.