Telling a Friend You Think Her Son Is Gay My friend keeps telling me that her 11-year-old son is not his regular happy-go-lucky self. It is clearly worrying her, and I have spent a fair amount of time listening. But of all the theories she has proposed to explain his quieter, more withdrawn mood, none seems as likely to me as that the boy is obviously gay. Would I be impolite to share my view or a bad friend if I don't? Anonymous, Ohio It may take a village to raise a child, as Hillary Rodham Clinton reminded us in her best-selling memoir (and magnificent payday), but don't mistake that for open season on other folks" kiddies. Personally, you could tell me my child was gay, and I'd be fine with it - as my mother was. But if your pal was last spotted carrying an "Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve" placard at a defense-of-marriage rally, I would counsel you to zip it (as much for the child's sake as for his mother's). Also, 11 seems a mite early for speculating about anyone's sexuality, especially if you are basing your opinion on old-fashioned stereotypes. Chiffon scarves and "Judy Garland at Carnegie Hall" are for everyone now. Plus, the little boy may not have hit puberty yet, or may be hitting it right now (which could also explain his moody behavior). Here is a balancing test for you: Share your theory with your pal only if you are as certain that she will hear it in a positive way as you are that the little boy is gay. Otherwise, cut everyone some slack and keep on listening. The Pumpkin Eater I grow pumpkins in my yard, and give an annual Halloween party to let friends" and neighbors" children pick them. But this year, the patch was a dud: no pumpkins. So I quit watering it until a neighbor reprimanded me, showing me a vine that had jumped my fence and sprouted pumpkins on her lawn. I reminded her about my parties, but she said the pumpkins were hers and she intended to eat them. I didn't fight, but I don't want to invite her to my get-together. Is that O.K.? Sue, Colorado Springs Unlike revenge, pumpkin is a dish best served warm. If you are too sweet to fight for your gourds, you are probably not the type to invite everyone in the neighborhood to your shindig except the meanie next door. So, invite her. But cut that vine pronto, so she doesn't swipe the fruits of your labor next year, too. (And yes, to the sticklers out there, the crop that jumped the fence probably belongs to the neighbor as a legal matter. But, really?) My Boss, My Silence I recently started my first job and have a positive relationship with my boss. He even took me out to lunch to talk about my career goals. But when I go to his office to speak to him, he rarely looks up from his e-mail. Sometimes, I stand in his office for a minute or two before he acknowledges I'm there. And in meetings, his attention wanders to his BlackBerry instead of listening to others. I don't think he's aware that others find this rude. Should I say something? Anonymous Sorry, Anonymous, but you lost me at: He took you to lunch to discuss your career goals. Can we talk about rare birds? No question, speaking to people who are mesmerized by their cellphones (instead of us) is alienating. It is rude, inefficient, and your boss is probably missing half of what goes on at his meetings. But he is still the boss, and you are a new employee. I suggest silence for the time being. If you must speak, try: "Would it be more convenient for you if I came back later, when you are finished with your e-mails?" But as bosses go, you seem to have snagged a good one. Do yourself a favor and don't mess it up. Romance Tips I have a crush on a sophisticated gentleman who owns an authentic Italian pizza restaurant. He is warm, well groomed and has excellent manners. Sigh. Sometimes he waits on me, but he has never given me special treatment, like a free glass of wine or soda. Would tipping help advance the relationship? Debbie, Manhattan You are unlikely to tip your way to happily ever after. For every "Pretty Woman," there are approximately 20 million Client No. 9"s. And who wants to buy a boyfriend? Try another tack: Visit the restaurant during off-peak hours, and ask this fine fellow to join you for a slice. See if you have anything in common, aside from your mutual love of grooming and buffalo mozzarella. For help with your awkward situation, send a question to SocialQ@nytimes.com or SocialQ on Facebook. You can also address your queries on Twitter to @SocialQPhilip. Please include a daytime phone number.