Mermaids don't exist, according to US government The National Ocean Service, a scientific agency of the Commerce Department, felt compelled to make the somewhat obvious statement in a response to a rash of inquiries made after a spoof documentary was broadcast on US television. "We don't have a mermaid service programme," a spokeswoman told the BBC, prompting sighs of relief from American tax payers. At least two people wrote to the agency demanding answers after the Discovery Channel broadcast a programme called, Mermaids: The Body Found. The show was shot in a documentary style and was described as painting "wildly convincing picture of the existence of mermaids." The NOS has yet to comment publicly on the existence of the Loch Ness monster.