Completely quackers - Telegraph Old maids bicycling to Holy Communion through the mists of the morning were to Orwell (as later to Sir John Major) among the characteristics of the English scene. Perhaps on their way back, the mists having lifted a bit, the old maids might feed the ducks. What could be more innocent? Try it in Ely, though, and - wham! - a council spy could be down on you with a £2,500 fine. Considering that shoplifters and drug-dealers often get off with far less, it is an oppressive penalty for an act of kindness to a feathered creature. Is that what the Environmental Protection Act 1990 envisaged? No, of course not. East Cambridgeshire council may be worried about ducks wearing out the grass, instead creating "designated duck feeding areas" on the Great Ouse, but elsewhere signs have been put up, threatening huge fines. It's not cricket - or if it is, the council's out for a duck.