A Plan for Making Friends on Facebook What's the right approach to friending people on Facebook? Do I have to know them? And what about the people Facebook keeps suggesting to me as "People You May Know"? Are they seeing the same thing about me - and not friending me? Anonymous If ever a place was about "the friend of a friend," it's Facebook (or the wrong side of the velvet ropes at the popular nightclub, Tenjune. And good luck with that.) No need to be shy on Facebook. If you feel like it, extend the click of friendship to folks you know, or know of, or with whom you have 65 friends in common. Better to hold back if you simply admire their smoking hotness or Robert Marc sunglasses. A slightly tighter nexus is required. But I fear rejection as much as the next guy. So click liberally on days you feel brave, and less so when the prospect of being ignored by virtual strangers might hurt your feelings (or make you wish that Mark Zuckerberg had never been born). And as for Facebook's "People You May Know" algorithm, you're right: Its suggestions are probably mutual, and those coldhearted, almost-pals could just as easily friend us. But someone has to blink first, and the one who does is generally rewarded with the return-click of new friendship. And if not, what's the harm: one less parody of "Call Me Maybe" on your Facebook newsfeed? Ignoring All Skeptics My 5-year-old son is so severely allergic to nuts that even a trace amount (from a knife that had peanut butter on it) causes his throat to swell shut. We try not to make a fuss about it with others. But some friends and family act skeptical, as if his allergy didn't really exist. Or they say that we must be one of "those parents," who worry unnecessarily about their children. How should I address these comments? John, Broomall, Pa. Call me a swine (fed on wild chestnuts), but I, too, once assumed that the seeming explosion in nut allergies among children was really just a symptom of helicopter parenting. Because every pint-size gourmand I knew as a tot wolfed down peanut butter and jellies, and ambulances were never required. So my life experience made me doubt yours. Boy, was I wrong. And I'm sorry about that. Don't bother fussing with the skeptics. Any defensiveness on your part will only make the doubters more certain of your hysterical over-parenting. That's the way skepticism feeds itself. It's more important for you to keep an eagle eye out for your son's safety around them. It's probably just a matter of time before the scoffers of my era (and others unfamiliar with this problem) recognize the greater incidence and seriousness of nut allergies today. Cold comfort to you, I know. Until then, keep calm and say: "You sound skeptical. Believe me, I wish this was make-believe. And if you simply can't help yourself, demonstrate how an EpiPen works - on them. Definitely kidding. Not in This Neighborhood I used the word "ghetto" to describe a shoddy repair job. My friend said he found the word offensive. I understand how its historical context (Jewish ghettos, urban slums) might offend. But it's so commonly used today that I assumed it was O.K. Should I avoid using ghetto when referring to inanimate objects? Hsiao, San Francisco Here's a hint: yes. And whenever friends say you've offended them, stop and think about it. Unless that was your plan all along. I've heard idiotic fashionistas and ironic hipsters dub anything tacky (or inferior) as ghetto fabulous. They think it's funny. But not so long ago, persecuted groups in Europe were forced to live in ghettos until they were slaughtered. And in America, ghettos house underprivileged communities in blighted urban neighborhoods. Laugh riot, right? I know you didn't mean any harm. And movies like Spike Lee's terrific "Crooklyn" have uncovered plenty of sweetness in ghettos, too. But the word doesn't mean shoddy. It's a synonym for shame on us. So scrub it from your repertory. Mailing It In We just got a thank-you card in the mail for a high school graduation gift we sent. The card was written by the graduate's mother, and she signed his name, too. We're torn: It's nice to receive thanks, but from the mother? Nicole, Alabama Now you see why I was skeptical of peanut allergies. Momzilla, much? Having other people write our thank-you notes, in the absence of carpal tunnel (or at least a fresh manicure) is ridiculous. And contrary to the view of generous Nicole, it will cause others to think less of us - and less of our mothers. For help with your awkward situation, send a question to SocialQ@nytimes.com or SocialQ on Facebook. You can also address your queries on Twitter to @SocialQPhilip. Please include a daytime phone number.