Fewer Gifts and Frills Are Expected in a Rough Economy GETTING onto someone's gift list this Christmas is like getting past a velvet rope. Victoria Shtainer narrowed hers by age and rank. Children? They're in. Top clients? In. Everyone else? Perhaps post-recession. "This year I decided we're going to give presents only to the children, not the adults in the family," said Ms. Shtainer, a real estate broker in Manhattan with Prudential Douglas Elliman, "because everyone is making less." Like any businesswoman, Ms. Shtainer also wanted to give presents to clients, so she had to be strategic. She gathered some unopened wine and liquor from her apartment for re-gifting. "My husband is a physician," Ms. Shtainer explained, "he gets a lot of Cognac." Then she stocked up on chocolate at Costco. The candy and spirits went into gift bags, along with hand-written notes. And instead of paying for postage or a delivery service, Ms. Shtainer climbed into her car and dropped off each bag herself. "I really thought about who to give and what to give," she said, noting that she also donated 10 percent of what she would have spent for grown-ups to St. Jude Children's Research Hospital. Whatever you're expecting to find around the tree or the menorah this season, expect a little less. A year after consumers first began grappling with the nation's economic turmoil, thrift has become a habit. The new frugality not only means fewer gifts, it means less costly ones, recycled ones and handmade and home-baked gifts. Penny-pinchers are giving greeting cards instead of presents, or presents without greeting cards. And nearly everyone is snipping someone from their list. "We're seeing a less conspicuous consumption and a more back-to-basics consumption," said Christopher Haak, a senior analyst with Mintel, a market research group. Consumers have about 10 people on their Christmas lists, down from 16 people last year, according to the market research firm NPD. That means some holiday revelers won't be receiving so much as a slice of fruitcake. Co-workers and in-laws are on the chopping block. Spouses, too. Or so they say. Marshal Cohen, the chief industry analyst for NPD, noted there is often an unspoken understanding between would-be thrifty lovers: "The understanding is if I show up without a gift, you'll throw me out on the street," Mr. Cohen said. Of the various retailing surveys chronicling the collapse of materialism, one from American Express found that consumers are more likely to excise certain friends and family members than their pets. "Dogs and pets are winning in this recession," said Kit Yarrow, a consumer psychologist and chairwoman of the psychology department at Golden Gate University in San Francisco. The things that nurture us and make us feel cared for, they've been elevated in stature lately. All auxiliary people are out. While all that cutting back is good for consumers" bank accounts, many insist it is even better for their souls. Like most everyone, Susan Wenner Jackson is shorter on cash. So are her friends and extended family. Buying more stuff simply didn't make sense. "I don't need another bath-and-body set," said Ms. Jackson, who left her job as a copywriter in Cincinnati in September. She became a freelancer and blogs at Workingmomsagainstguilt.com. What she does need is a night out with her husband. And so Ms. Jackson told her baby sitter, with whom she exchanges gifts, "I would just love it if you would keep the kids overnight one night." As for her family - attention Jackson family members: please cease reading now - Ms. Jackson plans to give them photographs of her children (taken by her photographer husband) in frames decorated by her 3-year-old daughter. "That will make them so happy, and it won't cost us anything" Ms. Jackson said. The nascent frugality, she said, "forces you to be imaginative and create things that are meaningful." Indeed, Deanna Duke, who lives in Seattle and writes about the environment and sustainability at Thecrunchychicken.com, said more of her readers are expressing a desire to make their own presents, even though they worry the recipients will think they cheaped out. "The biggest thing for people is getting over the mental fear," said Ms. Duke, who this holiday is doling out homemade jams, like a cinnamon-ginger-plum variety with the French aperitif Lillet, and an Indian masala-strawberry jam with pinot noir and port. American households are expected to spend an average of $390 on Christmas gifts this year, down from $418 last year, according to the Conference Board, a business research group. What consumers intend to spend often differs from what they actually spend. But November's decline in sales at nearly every major chain - be it Saks, Macy's or Dillard's - made clear that shoppers remain cautious. "This year I'm definitely limiting the list a little more than I usually do," said Karen Rose, a mother of two who works at the California Culinary Academy.