Complaint Box What Annoys You? Send your rant - no more than 500 words, please - to: complaintbox@nytimes.com, with a subject line of your last name, followed by "Complaint Box" and the topic. Detailed instructions are below. As a feminist I feel patronized when men step aside for me or pull out my chair, as though I am too delicate to make it through my day without their assistance. If they were just being polite, they would accept when I step aside for them. But many won't, demonstrating that it's not about manners - it's about gender. Emily Post's Etiquette: Manners for a New World, released last year, confirms my belief that chivalry is dead, or at least should be. For instance, the book dictates that "whoever gets there first opens and should hold the door for the next person," be they male or female. The book does hedge on the proper manners for dates, partly because some women consider chivalry romantic. But it is also awkward, inefficient, and inconvenient. Say I reach a door before a man. He reaches around me to grab the handle before I can, then herds me away from my spot in front of the door so he can open it for me without hitting me with it. Far from courteous, this maneuver usually just invades my personal space and slows down those around us. It would be so much more pleasant for everyone if we could proceed across the threshold in order of arrival, as Post's Etiquette recommends. Then there is the elevator stand-off. Say I'm waiting for the elevator and plan to get out on the second floor. That means in a tall building, most other passengers will get out after me, so I want to board last and get off first. But Messrs. Gallant simply will not board until I do. If I give in and get on first, I have to ask the whole gang to get back out 20 seconds later so I can disembark on the second floor. This wastes everyone's time. Chivalry is no picnic for men either. They can't know which women expect it and which don't, so they don't know when to be gallant and when it will earn them a glare. I am no man-hater - I adore my husband and am a friend and fan of many other well-meaning males who face this dilemma. For everyone's sake, the whole thing must end - especially in New York, where agreed-upon, consistent rules are crucial to keeping pedestrian traffic moving more or less smoothly. Piper Hoffman is an attorney and writer living in Brooklyn. She blogs at piperhoffman.com. If you wish to submit a Complaint Box essay, please send it as an attachment and in the body of the e-mail to complaintbox@nytimes.com, along with your name, address, phone number and e-mail. In the subject line of the e-mail, type your last name, followed by "Complaint Box" and the subject of your complaint. Essays can be 100 to 500 words. Because we receive so many submissions, we can get back only to those whose complaints are being considered for publication. If you do not hear from us, thank you anyway, and feel free to submit it elsewhere. Please note: Complaint Box is not the forum for your complaints about City Room or The Times. It is for essays on the general hassles of life, like the one above. If you have an issue with City Room, e-mail cityroom@nytimes.com. For issues with The Times, see the options at the bottom of the nytimes.com home page.