Tim Vine's top ten jokes Eric Bristow asked me why I put superglue on one of his darts. I said you just can't let it go can you? I saw this advert in a window that said: "Television for sale, £1, volume stuck on full." I thought, "I can't turn that down." I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again Conjunctivitis.com - that's a site for sore eyes (this year's Lafta winner) So I said to a Scottsman 'did you have terrible spots as a kid?' He said 'ac ne' Do you ever get that when you're half way through eating a horse and you think to yourself, 'I'm not as hungry as I thought I was'