A Face-Lift Is Not Worth Mentioning My younger sister and I shared a tempestuous childhood. We are very different. She is a single working girl in New York, and I am the Laura Petrie type with a husband and children in Los Angeles. I haven't seen her in over a year, but judging from her Facebook profile, I think she may have gotten a face-lift for her 50th birthday. I went to the Hollywood Bowl for my 50th, but go figure. Anyway, she looked all tucked and botoxed and nothing like herself. What should I say? Wendy, Los Angeles Even Laura Petrie - picture-perfect on the old "Dick Van Dyke Show" - knew about airbrushing, Wendy. And with our bevy of new touch-up apps, there is no telling how your sister may have fiddled with her picture (while leaving her actual bags and wrinkles alone). But even if she had a cosmetic procedure, why say anything about it, unless you want to rekindle the tempestuousness of your youth? It doesn't sound as if you are terribly close. Although you may speak more regularly than you see each other. Still, if your sister has not confided in you, it seems meanspirited to bring it up. She may feel judged or self-conscious, though if I am reading between the lines correctly, a part of you may want her to feel that way. Keep your suspicions to yourself. Remember: Silence is golden and duct tape is silver, in case you cannot trust yourself not to push Baby Sister's buttons. And if you simply have to say something, go with: "You're looking as well rested as Joan Rivers." A Party Favor? My wife would like to give me a party for a very special event. That is just fine with me, but I do not want her to invite a certain man we know. Although she does not question my reasons for wanting to exclude him, she says: "His wife is one of my oldest and dearest friends. I don't see how we can't invite them. But I say I won't be there if he is. You certainly know how to take a conversation to Defcon 3, don't you? Threatening not to show up at your own party - yikes! So, I will not take a "life is short" tack and advise you to make up with this fiend. Nor will I ask how you can put your lovely wife in such an awkward position with her bestie. Sometimes, we dislike people that much. Because this is one of those cases, you and your wife must decide whether to roll the dice and hope the couple never hears about your party (very unlikely), or have her explain to her pal that for your big day, you asked her to restrict the guest list to people you feel especially close with. Confession: I wouldn't be brave enough for either course and would probably suffer this fellow's attendance for my wife's sake. Hard to Say Goodbye I am the receptionist at my company, where part of my job is planning office events. When employees leave on their own, I generally give a small party in their honor. But we recently had to downsize for financial reasons, letting several people go. Would it be awkward to give them going-away parties, too? Mary, San Francisco It's kind of you to be so sensitive. Why not host a group farewell for the crowd that's being pink-slipped and let them decide whether to attend? It's not as if they were caught pilfering from petty cash or whiling away their afternoons on FunnyOrDie.com. No reason not to thank them for their contributions, the way you do with everyone else. Just make sure to keep these shindigs modest. Otherwise, your colleagues may resent the company for letting folks go for financial reasons while you play Marie Antoinette over flutes of Champagne and platters of foie gras. Whiff of Trouble My significant other seems to have stopped brushing his teeth regularly. I have deduced this from the lack of toothpaste use in his bathroom and his terrible breath. I offer mints frequently and extol the benefits of my electric toothbrush, which only makes him defensive. But his bad breath is a huge turnoff. How can I raise the subject without hurting his feelings? Robin, New York In the name of all things minty-fresh, who can we trust to tell us about our dragon breath if not our significant others? No need to channel Sherlock Holmes, either. Skulking around other people's bathrooms is not appealing. Just be gentle and direct: "Honey, you've had bad breath lately. You may want to brush more or see your dentist. Something more serious may be afoot. And if you meet with embarrassment or hurt feelings, say, "I'm only telling you because I love you." He'll be swishing and rinsing in no time.