Oscars 2012: Those old red carpet blues Lisa Armstrong: 'On that cheap-looking red carpet, the overall tone was set by a selection of some of the most unsophisticated, badly executed outfits in recent Oscar history.' If one of the purposes of awards ceremonies is to confirm our inherent belief that we have superior taste to everyone else, then the 2012 Academy Awards dutifully fulfilled its brief. While the big prizes went to The Artist , a dexterous, stylish, joyously experimental little film, outside on that cheap-looking red carpet, the overall tone was set by a selection of some of the most unsophisticated, badly executed outfits in recent Oscar history. Oscars 2012: Red carpet fashion worst dressed I've often wondered why it is that so few (and, on Sunday, none) of the ravishing dresses I see in shows ever seem to make it onto the most high profile catwalk in the world. I'm not referring to the kind of thought-provoking challenges that excite fashion insiders. While there is definitely a place for the avant-garde in this world, the biggest night of an actress's career, generally speaking, is not it. Even the exquisitely stylish Rooney Mara almost came a cropper in her amazing-from-behind-weird-from-the-front Givenchy. When I visited Tom Ford's showroom in London last week, he told me the reason so many designers have grown disillusioned with the Oscar hoopla is because "most actresses are too petrified to take any risks. They call in 20 dresses, randomly select one at the last minute - and ruin it with bad hair and tacky borrowed jewellery. As it happens, Ford scored, with a white column dress and cape that were whisked directly from last week's presentation in London to Gwyneth Paltrow in LA, mainly because Ford is a long time friend of Elizabeth Saltzman, Paltrow's stylist. Combined with her severe hair, it was a bit Call The Midwife for my money but at least it fitted perfectly, which puts it about 1,000 points ahead of the competition. Paltrow is an old timer at awards ceremonies and has learned what suits her. One of the problems with award ceremonies is that many of the actresses nominated are new to this particular circus and haven't yet learned that just because something is free you don't have to wear it. "The default setting," as another designer told me, "is all a bit My Big Fat Greek Wedding , with Cinderella tossed in, and then some Snow White for good luck." Most of us can sympathise: it's hard not to throw everything you've ever dreamed of wearing into one horrendous overstatement when it's your first big formal event. Interestingly, almost everyone, including those outed as "worst dressed" on Sunday's red carpet looked infinitely better once they'd changed and - literally in some cases - let their hair down for the after parties. Oscars 2012: The best beauty looks The difference between our mistakes and theirs is that these women have highly-paid stylists who are supposed to secure them the world's most gorgeous dresses. On this year's showing, most of those stylists should devote their next life-coaching session to a job rethink, especially the ones responsible for J Lo's tarty horror and Stacy Keibler's garish metallic piece of ghastliness. But that's my taste, and it's subjective. Yet even if we return to the issue of execution, these Oscars still ran aground in a swamp of ham-fisted draping and swathing. Whether you dress like a showgirl (and J Lo has looked incredible doing just that many times) or prefer caution, there are many more dazzling showgirl dresses and better bland frocks than Sunday's display of ill-fitting frocks, with bog-standard cutting and unflattering colours. Does any of this matter? On the one hand, it all adds to the merriment of nations. But if you think that awarding best film Oscar to The Hangover Part II would have been a travesty, or that devoting an exhibition to Jack Vettriano at the Tate would be misconceived, or popping a Skoda engine into an Aston Martin and spraying it pearly pink is a good idea, then you can see that every time the second rate is palmed off to us as first rate, our collective sense of what's truly great is eroded.