Is My Family Business Going to Be an Orphan? As I promised I would in a recent post, I have held a family meeting to discuss the long-term fate of my business. I have no plans to retire anytime soon, but I have just turned 56, and I don't think it is too early - if it is ever too early - to plan for the future. There are some other factors that have pushed the subject to the front of my mind. In May, my youngest son is graduating from college and my oldest son is expecting a baby - in fact, both events are due on the same day. In addition, my middle son, who has been working in the business with me for four years overseeing our expansion on the Web, has decided that he probably wants to leave next year to pursue something else. The purpose of this meeting was really just to get everyone thinking. I would guess that over the next five years our plan of action will take on more clarity - there is no clarity right now - but even just this first go-around has given me some insight. First of all, this is about my situation and my family. Succession plans are not one size fits all. Entrepreneurship is always about personal freedom and personal choices, and every entrepreneur has a different mix of goals, values, skills and circumstances. The succession plan might in fact be the grand finale of these choices. While I have been fighting the epic battle of trying to balance the needs of the business and the needs of my family for 34 years, this choice will not be part of that battle. I am going to make sure that my family does not suffer any more consequences from being born (or married) into the chaos of entrepreneurship. At the same time, I am going to do everything possible to preserve the business for the sake of my estate and my employees. What that means, exactly, is that the succession plan is Step 2. Step 1 is for my sons to figure out what they want to do for their livings. While I don't want them to live in my shadow, I also don't want them to live in the dark. The business could provide a very good living and satisfaction for the right person. That said, I know the succession needs of a business can cause problems by involving offspring who don't really want or aren't really qualified to be there. I am going to work to avoid that on my watch. As it happens, I learned a couple of lessons even before the meeting started. First, my daughter-in-law did not come. My son wasn't sure if I wanted her there, and he didn't ask. Not a big problem, but in my mind, she and any future daughters-in-law are part of the discussion, since they will certainly be affected. Not only would any questions or comments be welcome, I would just as soon have them see and hear the proceedings themselves. I'm sure that not all business owners and not all families would view this the same way. The second lesson I learned was that I have become accustomed to running meetings in my business where the ground rules are well established and followed: show up on time and come prepared. That means, don't get up in the middle of the meeting to get coffee in another room. It is a distraction, the whole meeting grinds to a halt and you lose momentum. My feelings about this may be influenced by the fact that I don't drink coffee, which makes the whole ritual even more bewildering to me - and by the fact that I'm still startled that my sons are old enough to drink coffee. I did come prepared. I reviewed how much life insurance I have, my view of the immediate future, who should be involved in the case of my untimely death, and the possible scenarios for long-term and short-term succession - or to sell the business. From the beginning, there was only one thing I knew for sure - the first and second son would never be in business together. Never. While they get along fine, they are very different, and those differences would result in constant problems and tensions. What about Nos. 2 and 3? Not sure. For that matter, I'm not sure that anyone will be involved. Which gets me to the beginning of my process. As a good retailer, I wanted to take inventory. I asked all three sons to write down their thoughts about the future and any possible involvement with the business. The following is a synopsis. The oldest son is 30 and has been building a successful career in real estate. Here are some of his thoughts: "I believe that it is important that we come up with a plan now to ensure that the business carries on under the Goltz name. I love my two brothers very much, but I have seen many family businesses fall apart because of too many cooks in the kitchen. Since I have chosen a different path, I sincerely hope that one of my brothers will choose to be groomed by my father to eventually take over the business. This is very important to me so that my dad's legacy will be a lasting one. The idea of selling the business makes me sick. My wife and I are currently awaiting the birth of our first child. We hope that the same values I learned growing up around the business will also be instilled in him, and that, if he chooses, there will be a family business for him to be part of. Oh, and ouch. My legacy? I see my children and anyone else I have affected as my legacy. If the business becomes a part of it, that will be a bonus. As for my son's son being part of the company, that was a revelation - something I had never considered. This is even more complicated than I realized. The second son, the one who has been working with me for four years, is 27. Some of his thoughts: "While working at my father's companies is a great opportunity, one that I am fortunate to have, I am not sure it is the best opportunity for me. I am interested in creating something of my own, or being part of a team creating or doing something I'm more interested in. I also might want to get an M.B.A., although I am not totally sure it is the right thing to do. Lastly, I feel like working with my dad puts a strain on my relationship with him and that most conversations are geared toward business. While I am uncertain about my future, I feel like now is the time I should do something on my own. This gives me mixed emotions. His happiness is my only priority. And yet, he has done an excellent job helping us become more Internet-savvy. And he has also given me some personal perspective that only an adult child could give. He complains that we have too many initiatives under way and that some of them are not worth the energy or resources. He finds it stressful to be overseeing five Web sites along with all of the other technology issues he deals with. He is probably right. He joined the company at a very difficult time in the economy, when our sales took a dive, so he has never really seen the magic when it is all working. We are almost there. I like having him around. And other employees tell me regularly how helpful he has been. And no, they are not just kissing up. You don't need to believe me. The third son is just graduating from New York University. Some of his thoughts: "At an early age I picked up a video camera and turned a hobby into a career path, as I am about to graduate from film school and seek work in the industry. Although I'm trying to "make it," it remains to be seen which opportunity will be greater a few years from now: a name in the entertainment industry or the prospect of joy and fulfillment working in a family business. The media offer a thrill with sacrifices attached, whereas a family organization has a destiny over which I ultimately have more control. One thing I know today is that I will be making a living working for someone else. If the day comes that I join the family business, I will have a unique talent to contribute to a position where I can be valuable. My wife and I have accepted that he needs to stay in New York and let this play out. We will wait and see what happens. I will follow up as the world turns. Jay Goltz owns five small businesses in Chicago.