Pet grief: Support group Wings helps pet owners with loss of their pets Last year was a tough one for Janine Kressler. Within six months, the Phillipsburg resident lost three beloved pets - Lily, Toby and Rosie - all to cancer. Lily, a gentle and loving 11 1/2 -year-old greyhound that Kressler adopted four years ago, died in February. Toby, 14, a cat she had owned since he was a kitten, died five days later. And Rosie, 11, another sweet-natured greyhound, succumbed in May to osteosarcoma, a cancer that spread through her bones. Greyhounds, she says, are susceptible to osteosarcoma. But knowing that doesn't make it any easier to cope when the pet dies. Pets are family to Kressler. Her husband was killed by a drunk driver 20 years ago, and her daughter is grown and out on her own. "If I didn't have my animals ...," she said, then paused, not wanting to imagine life without them. The role of pets in households has changed tremendously over the past few decades and the human-canine bond has grown stronger. Pets today are part of the family, so losing one is like losing a family member, says Dr. Phil Zeltzman, a traveling veterinary surgeon in the Lehigh Valley. He sees how much more money and emotion pet owners are investing in their animals, and he sees how much harder it has become for people to part with their pampered pets. Veterinarians have become much more sensitive, offering grieving rooms or separate exits for those faced with the task of euthanizing their furry family member. But that's usually where it ends, says Zeltzman. Many pet owners are left with feelings of anger, guilt and depression, particularly when they must make the decision to euthanize. So in June, Zeltzman established Wings, a pet grief support group, to provide a safe, casual, non-judgmental and confidential setting for people to meet with other pet lovers who are going through similarly difficult times. Wings meets once or twice a month at locations in Allentown or Bethlehem, led by psychologist Joanne Krug or licensed counselor Maurene Bellman. Both are animal-oriented people who have grieved the loss of pets themselves. There is no charge to attend, but donations are accepted. The group leaders volunteer their time. About a month after Rosie died, Kressler learned about Wings while reading a newsletter on Zeltzman's website, http://www.DrPhilZeltzman.com. She decided to attend Krug's group in Bethlehem, hoping to learn coping tips and, perhaps, share tips she developed on her own. "Who better to help than someone who truly knows what you are going through," says Zeltzman. Everyone who attends is in the same boat, although they may be in different stages. "When you lose a pet, you go through the same grieving process as you do when you lose a human member of your family," he says. But pet-loss grieving does not get the same respect. Some employers are likely to think you're crazy to ask for a few days off to mourn the loss of your dog. Friends and acquaintances who don't own pets are also less likely to understand, Zeltzman says. "I'm not really a support-group type of person but I have enjoyed going to these meetings," says Kressler, who has been attending sessions since June. Now that her loss is not as fresh, she finds fulfillment in comforting others and sharing some of the methods she learned to deal with the loss. After losing Lily, Toby and Rosie, she turned the thousands of photos she had taken of them over the years into memorial slide shows. She also had graphite sketches of them done by an artist. "We are not judgmental about how people grieve," says Krug, who leads the Bethlehem group. It's important to march to your own beat and have faith in yourself in processing the loss the best you can on your own timeline. Some people need continual support through a loss. And others feel better after attending one support-group meeting, Krug says. They just need to be assured that the grief they are feeling is normal. "Whether you keep ashes or a collar, save a favorite toy or set up a memorial, it isn't abnormal or weird - not if it helps you process the loss," she says. Since losing Lily and Rosie, Kressler also learned that adopting a couple more greyhounds has helped her move on. She now shares her home with three greyhounds and seven cats. None replace Lily and Rosie, she says. But they fill a hole left by their loss.