The One-Page Magazine - NYTimes.com By Dave Itzkoff Not yet 30, John Mulaney has already made his mark on "Saturday Night Live" as a writer for Stefon (the in-the-know nightlife correspondent played by Bill Hader) and through his own "Weekend Update" appearances. He is also starring in a new Comedy Central stand-up special, "New in Town." Still, he suspects his boyish looks will forever have audiences wondering if he's a truant high-schooler. "People like us, we're like Bud Cort," Mulaney says. We'll just lose our hair and be bald boys. You'd never go, "That guy looks old." You'd go, "That young guy looks terrible." " By Eric Spitznagel Chris Rock once said that a father's only job is to "keep our daughters off the pole." But the International Pole Sport Federation in Salt Lake City is now mounting a campaign to make pole-dancing an Olympic sport. "The word "gymnastic," " explains K.T. Coates, the federation's president, "derives from the Greek "gynos," which translates to "naked." " By Tom Vanderbilt Each bite of Fair Trade chocolate can gave its eater a feeling of virtue. And not just because of its association with well-compensated workers and sustainable equatorial life. New research by the University of Michigan's Jonathon Schuldt shows that people presented with "ethically" produced chocolate believed it (wrongly) to have fewer calories. The fair-trade effect is the classic psychological halo effect, he argues, in which one positive attribute influences our feelings about other aspects of the product. By Greg Veis The State of the Union Most planetariums Yellow Tail cab-sauv "The Bachelor,"Season 4 to now Sno-Caps Cold out there, huh The return of Van Halen Febreeze Additional reporting by Samantha Henig By Maud Newton "Why not build robot teachers to help out in schools?" asked Ray Bradbury in a 1974 letter, arguing that robots, like books, have the potential to help keep people human. Now South Korea is battling a shortage of English teachers by using robots to take roll, sing nursery rhymes and correct language mistakes. One part of Bradbury's fantasy remains unfulfilled, though. He hoped the machines would speak in "my vo-ice." By Matt Bai Here's another reason that Mitt Romney would like to cast himself as a reprisal of Ronald Reagan: the age gap. Three times since the Gipper's reign, Republicans have run candidates who were at least a decade older than their opponents (Romney is 14 years older than Obama) and lost every time. Maybe high-tech voters just gravitate toward candidates who seem more contemporary. In that case, the Reagan-like dye job can't hurt. By Edith Zimmerman 3 months distanced Gchat 5 unanswered texts 2 poorly responded-to e-mails 1 awkward but not unpleasant dinner 1 postdinner drinking session, bowed out from because of "stomach feeling weird" 3 more months icy Gchat, culminating in . . . 1 Gchat block and/or Facebook unfriend. By Bess Levin At his going-away party last month, Morgan Stanley's chairman, John Mack, told employees that his true passion wasn't making billions. It was women's shoes. To satisfy this yearning, Mack often popped into Bergdorf Goodman to offer his opinions to shoppers - so successfully, in fact, that a manager once suggested he apply for a job. While a Morgan spokeswoman says that Mack doesn't have "any plans to actually pursue" this potential career, Bergdorf isn't dangling an offer. "Plenty of people love shoes," says Ginger Reeder, a spokeswoman for the retailer. But not everyone can sell shoes. By Lizzie Skurnick To clean a child's face with one's own saliva. See also: Licktim (the child thus cleaned); Spaternity (to claim one's adult child for cleaning). By Rachel Nolan Byung-Hyun Kim Dominant submarine-style hurler. Kim Clijsters Possibly the bestnon-Williams of her era. Kim Cattrall Holden Caulfield-like icon for cougar set. Kim Jong-un Precocious totalitarian. Kimba Wood Almost the first female attorney general. Kim Kardashian A new kind of talent. By Hope Reeves Blue Ivy, the name Jay-Z and Beyoncé bestowed upon their newborn, may one day prove popular. In the meantime, the "Top 100 Baby Names of 2011" list by Babycenter.com had Sophia at No. 1 for girls. "Ivy on its own is trending up," says Linda Murray, the site's editor in chief. It has a green nature to it, and moms are loving nature-sounding names. The name Blue is very, very unusual for a girl - it's actually 7,214 on our list. By Will Shortz Remove six letters from "Frank Sinatra" so that the remaining six letters, in order, will name a world capital. Hint: There definitely isn't a Golden Nugget in this capital. For answers, see bottom. By Tyler Cowen Vanished Kingdoms, by Norman Davies: Studies the losers too. Alice James, by Jean Strouse: Her brothers weren't the only smart ones. By Dustin Diamond It's very difficult when you walk into something and people say, "Oh, hey, it's Screech." When you wanna grow, the hardest thing should be shedding who you used to be. You've got to set goals. Ask yourself, "How do I want to be seen?" As told to Spencer Bailey By Adam Leff and Richard Rushfield JBL Aquarius II Speakers + " "Mother, Jugs and Speed" = Japanese Fighting Fish + " "St. Elmo's Fire" = Crocodile-Skin Filofaxes + The Chunnel = The Spice Girls + Furbies = Pocket Dog + " "Sex and the City" = Paris Hilton + Pinkberry = Co-Ed Baby Showers + Momofuku = Really Expensive Cupcakes Brain Twister Answer: Ankara, Turkey