Graeme Swann leaps to defence of his captain Andrew Strauss after tour 'witch-hunt' But nobody actually called for Strauss's head, did they? Swann would know: he reads all the papers. He admits making one angry call to a journalist last summer, and he was clearly angry before the Colombo Test: "People were saying: "He must perform to keep those guys in the press happy; not me, of course, but the other guys." "I don't know if Straussy reads the press or not, but I couldn't believe that we'd be so happy just to say: "Get him out, [Alastair] Cook can captain and we'll get somebody else in."" What, though, if England had lost that Test in Colombo, making it five consecutive losses, and Strauss had not scored any runs? Surely then it would have been an issue? "I'd have seen it as an issue only in a very black and white point of view," he says, "As in if a football team loses five on the trot and it's the manager who gets the boot and the players don't get anything said against them. I'd have said: "Let's sit down and look at those five Tests and ask at what point was his captaincy a glaring issue? At what point did he not captain us into a position of winning any of those games? If he hadn't done any of that, I would have said it was fair enough and he should be sent back to Radley to play for the Old Boys! Ah, that's more like it. From defence counsel to banterer in an instant. This is Swann's more natural habitat. It's not that Swann cannot be taken seriously - and it was my questioning that took him in that direction - but he just does jocularity so well. As Strauss and James Anderson will doubtless aver over the next few weeks. For Swann will play two county championship matches for Nottinghamshire before the first Test against the West Indies on May 17; against Anderson's Lancashire and Strauss's Middlesex. Has he ever got Strauss out? A huge smile engulfs Swann's face. "Yes, it was an absolute ripper," he says with dollops of irony while pointing to the covered square outside at Trent Bridge. He got 120 here [in 2007], and went for a sweep that bounced off his back elbow to bowl him around his legs. Straussy will be very nervous for that match. No one knows this, but he always knows the batsman's stats and how they get out. He is more than happy to remind them between overs. Well, I've been studying him, and I know his stats inside out. As for his close mucker Anderson: "He will just shout and swear at me," Swann says, "He probably wears his heart on his sleeve for his county more than anyone. I think he was borderline being banned for life against Yorkshire last year, just because he was playing for Lancashire and they hate Yorkshire! I'm not worried because he is only a medium pacer these days, very similar to Ian Austin I'd say; a lovely bowler who just put it on the spot. That should wind up Anderson royally, although his and Austin's body shapes couldn't be further apart. Mention of the current ICC Test player rankings is likely. In the bowling Anderson is third, and Swann fourth. "I knew when he went past me, because he told me!" says Swann. Normally Cooky tells me about the statistics. I can't stand them. But last Wednesday he was liking them a little more. He had just been pronounced England's most valuable player of the winter, according to the FTI MVP rankings system. The award is for all forms of the game, but Swann also stood top of the Test MVP; rightly so, in my view, because there is no greater seizer of situations, but interesting given that some considered that, after the 3-0 loss to Pakistan in the United Arab Emirates, Monty Panesar had usurped him as England's No 1 spinner. "Sometimes the level of expectation goes through the roof," sighs Swann, "I remember thinking that if a poor tour means 13 wickets at 25 apiece, then I must have had a couple of unbelievable years!" Not even a frustrating first innings in the first Test at Galle had burst Swann's bubble of positivity. Swann had figures of 23-3-92-0, as Mahela Jayawardene made 180. "I was peeved," he confesses, "For the first time in a long time I was thinking "I wasn't good enough today." Against Jayawardene, that was, not the rest of their batsmen. He is a genius, one of the best I have bowled at. He picks length quicker than your average world-class batsman, if that makes sense. In Galle he basically treated us like 10-year-old kids, with the way he manipulated the field and the strike. But in the second innings I was on quickly with two left-handers in, and I didn't bowl any differently. Suddenly I had four wickets, including Jayawardene as he edged one that didn't spin but was supposed to. In the UAE Panesar took 14 wickets at 21, but he bowled more. Pakistan had a lot of right-handers, and along with the Decision Review System and the low, skiddy pitches meant Panesar was mostly given first opportunity. But by the end of the winter Panesar was not even playing, and Swann was taking 10 wickets in the match as England at last won. And, sadly, England were little nearer finding a balanced side in Asia. We're looking for Jacques Kallis, aren't we? Swann says, "Then we could play two spinners all the time." England will now encounter Kallis and the South Africans this summer. "It's going to be one hell of a series, even if I can't believe it's only three Tests," admits Swann. Since I came into Test cricket they're the best team I've played against. It was two years of hard slog to get to No 1, and testament to how well we played that we had a buffer zone after the car crash in the UAE. But I'd still be horrendously disappointed if we weren't still No 1 at the end of the summer. Beyond that the 33-year-old Swann's goal is simple: "Try to play Test cricket as long as I can," he says. I desperately want to tour Australia again [in 2013/14]. The Ashes win down there was easily the best six weeks of my cricketing life. It was so exciting that it was like being a kid on a school field trip. That sums up Swann well. Few cricketers have ever combined enjoyment, humour and significant achievement so neatly. He remains the game's most engaging interviewee. And on a bitterly cold and wet day he even gave me a lift to the train station afterwards. He can't be that miffed with the press after all.