Brenda Blethyn: 'I don't care about the way I look' Blethyn's background was no less extraordinary, but at least it was happy. She was born Brenda Bottle, the youngest of nine - she has eight brothers - in Ramsgate; her father was already in his sixties by the time of her birth. The family wasn't rich but was loving. Both of her parents had been in service - her father was a chauffeur, her mother a maid. I do think about them whenever I watch Downton. Although the family was close, one of her brothers lost contact with the other siblings, which resulted in Blethyn turning amateur detective herself. "About 40 years ago, I set about tracking down my eldest brother, Terry," she explains. He had left the Merchant Navy and lost touch. I did that old-fashioned thing of going from door to door with a photo of him. I became a bit of a detective myself and eventually tracked him down to British Columbia where he was living with his family. He eventually moved back to Britain. He died a few years ago, but before then I was able to get to know him in a way I never had as a child because he wasn't at home when I was growing up. I also grew close to his family. His granddaughter, Kelly Scott, is an actress too. Funnily enough, she has a role in one of the new episodes of Vera. Acting didn't come quite as quickly for Brenda. After leaving school at 17, she got a clerical job at British Rail and married Alan Blethyn. Still, acting was her private passion, and she pursued amateur dramatics in her spare time. Meanwhile, her husband left her for a neighbour. In retaliation, Brenda covered the marital home with topless pictures of herself. She talked about her former husband in her memoirs. He was a lovely man. And her... I was ever so upset at the time, but I've grown up since then. As her marriage was ending, Blethyn took acting more seriously, and enrolled in the Guildford School of Acting. After graduation, she worked for the National Theatre before being cast for a BBC Mike Leigh play, Grown-Ups, in 1980, and her career took off. As Blethyn has grown older, her career has improved. Even so, she is not blind to the problems faced by actresses of a certain age. I don't think you can deny that there are more roles for middle-aged men than there are for middle aged women. And that's wrong and should be changed because it doesn't reflect our society. There should certainly be more jobs for women, particularly of my age... and my height, too," she laughs. But I consider myself one of the lucky ones. I am always aware that at least 10 other actresses at any time could do the job as well as me. She is slightly bemused, too, by the caterwauling about class in the acting profession. Recently, Rob James Collier, one of the stars of Downton Abbey, complained that working-class actors have it tougher than those born with a silver spoon in their mouths. Might class have been a barrier to Brenda's success? Not especially. I've been able to play lots of upper-class ladies at the National, although maybe it is more difficult to be seriously considered for one of those roles. Luckily, that kind of thing goes over my head, so even if they were prejudiced against me - or hated me - I wouldn't know. Soon after her marriage to Alan ended she met Michael Mayhew, an art director who worked, until recently, at the National Theatre. The couple have lived together for the past 35 years. They never had children - despite her "hundreds" of nieces and nephews. Even now, she is often asked about her childlessness. It's because men have a life outside of fatherhood and very often, women didn't. But for many years now, women have too. Despite being together so long, they only recently married. Michael and I did talk about getting hitched. But never very seriously," she says. Once I was in Las Vegas, surrounded by hen nights and chapels presided over by Elvis lookalikes, and so for a laugh I called him in the middle of night to ask if he wanted to get married. He said, "Hello. Hello. Who is this?! It was always a bit of joke. But then you do start to realise that if one of you were to pop your clogs and you were still unmarried it might cause problems legally for the other. Finally, Michael did propose. It was on Skype, while I was filming the first series of Vera. I said to him, "You could get down on one knee" He said, "OK, then." And promptly disappeared from my screen. The wedding was a low-key affair. It was at Peckham Register Office with just Timothy Spall and his wife as witnesses. Afterwards, we all went down the pub. Still, the joy of being a married woman again has taken her by surprise. "You're with a person for such a long time they come to feel like an extension of yourself and being without them just seems unthinkable," she says. But I never thought that being married would make a difference. But it has. Being married to Mike is like being enveloped constantly in a warm cuddle. Marriage has given me a sense of finally belonging. Vera is on Sundays at 8pm on ITV1