In Sickness and Health (2 Letters) Re "Caregiving as a "Roller-Coaster Ride From Hell" " (Personal Health, April 10): No one can be prepared for the derailment of life that occurs when a spouse becomes impaired by illness. What saves me in particular is my work, my support group of women in the same situation, my friends not in the same situation, and my family. I have learned about resilience. With resilience we can withstand life's unexpected disasters and still experience joy. Nancy Wergeles Weston, Conn. Taking care of sick people is never easy, especially when the caring is not shared, but calling it "a roller-coaster ride from hell" is truly a cause for alarm. The women's movement was right to protest the failure of men to significantly share in the care given to children, parents and their wives, but it surely never meant for women to emulate this masculine perception. Such an attitude bodes ill for the emotional and physical well-being of our society. Bette Dewing