An expat adventure inspired by Olympics year Mallorca is like a supersized Center Parcs, an adults" adventure playground teeming with cyclists, kite-surfers, canyoners, divers, stand-up-paddlers, hikers... all captivated by the Island's natural beauty. It follows therefore, as a Mallorcan resident, that you should find me taking to two wheels, foamy waves or well-trodden mountain paths every weekend. But you won't, "cos I don't. But what does a girl who's not particularly good at anything do? The answer is anything, once, to see what ignites my inner Olympic flame. The alarm goes off at 7am Sunday, unacceptable under any circumstances but even more so when the Saturday before combined the culmination of the Six Nations with St Patrick's Day and perhaps some alcohol. Nevertheless, I dig deep and find myself over the other side of the Island at 9am being fitted with rubber shoes and a harness that wouldn't look out of place on a baby bouncer. The good thing is everyone else from the Ondine Escape Beginner's Rock Climbing Course also looks a little bewildered so we take the half-hour hike from car park to cliff-face in companionable solidarity. 33-year-old Erica from yacht recruitment agency yco said we had "all of the gear and no idea" - she wasn't wrong. Having traversed a couple of stiles, waved off a swarm of flies and witnessed a mountain biker stack it in the ravine, we arrive at Cala Magraner. If you haven't been to Mallorca you won't quite understand the joy that is the hundreds of Calas we have at our disposal. Turquoise waves lapping bright white sands and, if it takes a hike to get to, beautifully deserted apart from hardcore campers, hippies (we had some bongo drums as a soundtrack to our entrance) and, in Magraner's case, oodles of rock climbers. Our expert instructor Jeremy filled us with an hour's worth of technical and safety know-how. Born in Mallorca to a German father and an English mother, 25-year-old Jeremy is not only a professional mountain guide but he also has the shiniest blonde hair and the toothiest white smile, which made concentration on rope elasticity and carabiner strength far more palatable. When we relocated to the rock face, it all looked a little high and daunting. Erica volunteered to go first with a breezy "let's get it out of the way." Revealing some kind of mountain goat ancestry she scaled the wall like a ninja. It was now my turn, no pressure. The first few metres were manageable, the next slightly trickier, and by metre five I was whimpering. I discovered that if you over-think and over-prevaricate, a mental block kicks in and your nerve goes. Having chucked the towel in after a few more climbs I decided to live vicariously through the rest of team Ondine, who were all impressively mastering the art. Allegedly the view of the Mallorcan coastline from the "top" was breathtaking - Erica took her iPhone up and brought it down for me. To conclude, I am not particularly good at rock climbing but the day was, for me, an immense success. I was grateful for the new friends I made, the thrill of trying something new and the feeling of 20-degree sun on my back in an idyllic Mallorcan beauty spot in March. Ondine Escape Beginner's Rock Climbing Courses start from €60 per person for qualified instructor-led rock climbing including equipment hire.