TV Review - TV and Radio - Scotsman.com William And Kate: The First Year STV, Tuesday, 8pm The Hunt For Bin Laden STV, Tuesday, 9pm 2 Broke Girls E4, Thursday, 9pm ITV rolled out two anniversary programmes last week and my favourite STV continuity wummin - you know who I mean - used the ads breaks in the first documentary to whet our appetites for the second with maximum come-hither simper and purr. It has to be said, though, that the potential for cross-marketing for the Duchess of Cambridge and Osama bin Laden was not immediately apparent. William And Kate: The First Year was a devastating hatchet job on two families who sum up everything that's wrong with Britain today. It laid bare all the snobbery and irrelevance of one clan and all the social-climbing and bourgeoisie dullness of the other, and what a blessed relief to be able to watch such a programme before we're expected to fall into line again for yet more flag-waving and commemorative plates. Ha, just kidding! This was like a "what the butler saw" machine featuring lots of nice photographs from Hello! and OK! flicked at speed to animate the young Royals. These machines were silent, of course, and this film might as well have been, for all it told us about its subjects. Or maybe you were impressed by Elizabeth Kuhnke, body language expert, who pronounced: "It looks as though they like to touch each other... there's a passion, they're cute to watch - and sexy." The programme promised to reveal the "inside story" on "what makes this twosome tick" but, of course, did nothing of the sort. William, when he's back at the marital home in Anglesey, "a small island off Wales," likes to pop down his local on quiz night (well, he's done this once). Kate, when her husband's flying copters, takes out the rubbish on her own, and presumably this has happened more than once otherwise there will be an awful lot of macaroon bar wrappers lying around. Actually, I've no idea if Kate likes macaroons, this column's primetime snack of choice. But I do know that, together with her Wills, she's "totally in touch with not being stuffy." That in £175 High Street dresses she "literally sparkles." That four changes of outfit per day are required when she stays at Sandringham but that together the couple can "still sort of identify with the working man." I've nothing against any of the Royals, don't actually care one way or the other, but if the Cambridges really are as modern as this programme claimed then they were ill-served by the current generation of royal correspondents who just filled the airtime with words, any words, fluffy, puffy ones preferably, because the really important thing was that any second there would be another shot of the winsome, dimpled, skinny queen-consort-to-be literally combusting in something chain-store and off the peg. Hip-hip! But I think I've found the connection between William And Kate: The First Year and The Hunt For Bin Laden. In the former, Kate looked on proudly as her man did some waterbirding (the Canadian term for landing a copter on a lake) while the latter extensively featured the CIA, prime exponents of waterboarding. Not that the agency got close enough to America's most wanted for a long, long time. And if they had, waterboarding wouldn't have been enough. Gary Schroen recalled the orders he was given: "You're going to find him, kill him, cut off his head, put it on dry ice and ship it back here so we can go show the president." The doc rounded up lots of CIA veterans like Schroen, and lots of FBI ones too - but never in the same room because of a turf war between the organisations that's been going on forever. So the blame got passed around with politicians copping their share. And the night before the operation which took out "Geronimo," everyone knew what was about to happen but had to keep schtum at a White House dinner and endure a stand-up comedian mocking their failure to catch him. Twelve months on, these guys - no room for Homeland's Claire Danes here, unfortunately - were still pretty grumpy about the whole affair. One of them said: "If I ordered a pizza and it took ten years I wouldn't be too delighted." Some will probably still be grumping about each other on back-porches and in golf buggies and well into retirement, because the obsession with OBL was huge. "I had a poster of him in my home, 6ft tall," said the FBI's Jack Cloonan. It was in my bedroom. My favourite new American comedy in the classic one blonde, one brunette, gag- every-second-line tradition is 2 Broke Girls, starring Kat Dennings and Beth Behrs as Brooklyn waitresses. Sample put-down, to finger-clicking male customers: "You think that's the sound that gets you service? I'd say it's the sound that dries my vagina.