Social Q's - A Sharp but Cowardly Tongue My hair is always an issue; it's quite unruly. So I frequently change styles and colors. Recently, my mother-in-law said: "Your hair looks good. Do you like it? I told her I did. To which, she replied: "I was just wondering, because when we were looking at pictures from Penny's party, she said you look like a witch with your hair straightened." I confronted Penny immediately. She apologized for about 30 minutes. Another sister-in-law told me her mother's comment hadn't come out right. But my mother-in-law never apologized. How would you have handled this? Alexandra, London Like many folks who can dish it out but can't take it, I (and my witchy hair) would probably have slunk off into the night. So, kudos on being direct, Alexandra, but I wonder: Were you direct with the right person? It's complicated here because your mother-in-law pretended to like your new "do and merely repeated the criticism of others. But unless she's totally clueless, it's safe to say she's not a big fan of your new look, either (and more than a little passive-aggressive). That's why I would have begun, and probably ended, with Big Mama, rather than starting a three-way kerfuffle. If she pulls something like this again, say: "Thanks for letting me know. Next time Penny and the gang cut you to shreds, I'll be sure to let you know. This way, your mother-in-law sees that you're on to her tricks, and you reduce the number of characters playing "Family Feud." Plus, who cares what they think of your hair? Note to Jim Lehrer: This week's Presidential Debate on domestic policy might have been even livelier if you had included a couple of homeland issues like these. In Too Deep I am a recent graduate living comfortably, but I worry about money. In a rush of inspiration, I snapped up two expensive tickets for a birthday dinner for my boyfriend at a restaurant he's been dreaming about forever. Now I'm embarrassed by my extravagance. The gift is well beyond my means. We're not getting married anytime soon, I have debt, there are hungry people in the world, etc. Would it be amiss to see if friends and family want to chip in for his half of the dinner? A.M., New York Shut the five-star menu! Your fiscal anxieties and newfound moral objections to fancy restaurants are great reasons not to have bought the tickets in the first place, but not for asking other people to pay for them (even one of them) now. It seems tacky-town and selfish, since you'll be tucking in yourself. Perhaps these tickets are returnable. If not, simply set aside a small amount every week, and pay off your folly in no time (or over several years), just like the rest of us adults do. First Impression I have an uncommon first name, and it is often mispronounced or misheard. It rhymes with a common name. When clients I am meeting for the first time mispronounce it and continue talking, I never know when to correct them. If I do it immediately, I risk seeming rude for interrupting them. But if I wait, they often feel sheepish for rambling on using the wrong name. Thoughts? Taryn, Chicago Go Sporty Spice and make a strong offense your best defense. (And while we're at it: Sanchez or Tebow this weekend? It's like we're in the Sports section.) Introduce yourself preemptively to everyone you meet for the first time - before they start talking. Stick out your hand and say: "Hi, I'm Taryn." (You can even add: "It rhymes with Karen.") This should cut down on the number of manglings. If not, and if I were the one mispronouncing you, I'd prefer you tell me right away. And when I apologized, I'd appreciate a smiling: "Happens all the time." Triple the Nosiness My brother and sister-in-law are the parents of triplet boys. Whenever I mention this, many people ask if they had "help" getting pregnant (like in vitro treatments) or if the pregnancy was natural. I find these questions rude. My usual response is: "I don't know. I would never ask such a personal question. Should I answer differently? Anonymous Why mess with perfection? For help with your awkward situation, send a question to SocialQ@nytimes.com or SocialQ on Facebook. You can also address your queries on Twitter to @SocialQPhilip. Please include a daytime phone number.