The last word in humour and honesty from Daily Telegraph readers I hope you enjoy spending time with them as much as I do every year, following the conversation as it echoes, sometimes answered, sometimes ignored, from Piddletrenthide in Dorset to Durness by Lairg in Sutherland, via Llanfairfechan in Conwy, Goodworth Clatford in Hampshire and, occasionally, Bessines-sur-Gartempe in Limousin, France. I'm already looking forward to doing it all over again next year - just as long as we don't run out of titles. Here are some of the best unpublished letters from 2012...... SIR - It is bad enough reading that Colin Firth's wife has dispensed with her underwear, but to publish the fact that 67 per cent of women over 80 are sexually active and that most achieve orgasm is devastating news. Are you mad, sir? I am a mere male (not a rampant young stud) of 68 years, still trying to live up to some vague sexual expectations. Not being certain whether or not I have succeeded is bad enough, but the thought of perhaps another two decades of strenuous and possibly gymnastic marital duties is just too much. My only resort is to prevent my wife from reading The Daily Telegraph. Geoff Milburn Glossop, Derbyshire SIR - Is it not odd, and a trifle spooky, that the two Tory ministers whom Labour have gone after are Fox and Hunt? What can it mean? Nicholas Guitard Poundstock, Cornwall SIR - David Cameron wants to help us old people to downsize. I am already two inches shorter than I used to be, so I don't need his help. John de Lange London N12 SIR - Why does your newspaper make such a fuss about Pippa Middleton? I see better-looking girls in the queue for Greggs in Walsall. Kevin Platt Walsall, West Midlands SIR - You report that a man has been seen in a yodelling outfit - aka lederhosen - in a nature reserve in Hertfordshire, apparently looking for illicit sex. In August 2010 I walked the entire length of the King Ludwig Way in Bavaria in my lederhosen and no one approached me with the offer of a sexual encounter. This summer I was planning to go to Italy, but Hertfordshire now looks a more promising destination. Charles White Washingborough, Lincolnshire SIR - I am very concerned when the media describes the forthcoming Olympic Games as a "once in a lifetime event." I attended the 1948 London Olympics. Roly Cockman Horseheath, Cambridgeshire SIR - Given the overly zealous use of copyright law, will the phrase "Five Gold Rings" have to be omitted from the carol Twelve Days of Christmas? P.B. Harbury, Warwickshire SIR - Following the first landing on the moon in 1969, I overhead two colleagues discussing the event. After acknowledging the seminal feat, one concluded her remarks by commenting: "What made it all the more remarkable was that it was only a half moon at the time." Josephine Hinson Gurnard, Isle of Wight SIR - With reference to your correspondent's inquiry, I have always understood that vehicles with darkened windows were driven by people with ugly children. Sir Richard Dashwood Bt Ledwell, Oxfordshire SIR - One is, of course, delighted to hear that the Greek economy is to be saved -once again. On a recent visit to Crete I asked for the recipe for a Greek salad. There came the not entirely ironic reply: "First, you borrow some feta..." Christopher Rodda Boscastle, Cornwall SIR - Am I alone in thinking that Jeremy Paxman looks like a Proboscis monkey? Michael Powell Tealby, Lincolnshire SIR - My family home, Compton Castle, built in the 14th Century, is open to the public. For the convenience of the visitors, my father had a sign saying "Lavatory" placed on a door. One day, my mother overheard a young man say to his companion, "What's a lavatory, dear?" To which she replied, "That's medieval for toilet." His Honour Judge Francis Gilbert, Q.C. Bovey Tracey, Devon SIR - My husband's pithy summary of today's Daily Telegraph was: "Bosoms; Downton Abbey; and the next thing that's going to kill me." Val Woollven Horrabridge, Devon SIR - I cannot possibly be the only person who is annoyed to read that Britain is hotter than another carefully selected place in the world. It is a matter of complete indifference to me. "Hotter than the Sahara" was reported on the front page on March 23 as temperatures reached 19C in Hampshire. However, Casablanca was 26C, Cairo was 23C and Tunis was 21C. I wonder if the newspapers in these three countries carried reports reading: "Just hotter than Middle Wallop." Geoff Gibbs Bristol SIR - My wife and I decided to open a bottle of wine every time GB won a gold medal. A mistake. Tony Hart Ascot, Berkshire Imagine My Surprise... Unpublished letters to The Daily Telegraph (Aurum) is available to order from Telegraph Books at £9.99 + £1.10 p&p.