Beat the January blues with the new rules of happiness There's a new way to lift your spirits this January, and it's all about letting go. "Nowadays we put so much energy into trying to control our bodies, relationships, our money, our future, our business, our families and our kids," says Clinical hypnotherapist and master NLP Practitioner Jacqueline Hurst , "but in actual fact one of the best things we can do in pursuit of happiness, is learning to let go." READ: How to feel good about your body It seems we've been playing by the wrong set of happiness rules "simply relaxing and enjoying the moment is something that we now have to work at," Hurst explains, "it's work in progress." For Hurst, it's time to rethink the happiness game. It's not about taking on a new set of rigid new years resolutions, it's about "letting go, because freedom is the only condition for happiness." The Ten Lessons in Letting Go: Stop trying to be perfect, it makes us feel inferior and desperate to change; owning our uniqueness makes us feel worthy and excited to evolve. Other people will judge, so doing our best and accepting that people will form opinions is far more empowering than worrying about what everyone else thinks. Love will be messy at times, and unless you're in an unhealthy relationship, lean into the messiness. That's where the intimacy is. Tomorrow is uncertain and despite all our planning, plotting, worrying, or dreading, what will be will be and no matter how scared we may feel, it will always work out how it is meant to work out. We can't change other people. No matter how much we wish someone would act differently, it has to be his or her choice. We are going to redefine ourselves. It's tempting to cling to roles and ideas of who we are, but who we are is always evolving. Life is far more fulfilling if we see changes as adventures. We will hurt at times. Pain is inevitable. It's not a sign that something is wrong with us, or our lives; it's a sign that we're human, and we have the courage to care and live fully. It's also a sign you are growing .... We have to forgive ourselves. No one deserves to cower in shame and carry guilt, it won't do any good. If we want to be happy we need to cut ourselves some slack and believe we're doing the best we can. There are some things we may never understand. Much of life is a mystery, and it's human nature to try to solve it. Peace is learning to embrace the open-ended questions. The worst that could possibly happen might not be that bad . If we're willing to consider the possibility, we may find opportunity in that "horrible" thing. At the very least, we may recognise we're OK - still here, still strong, still breathing.