England flanker Tom Croft believes he can be better than ever as he steps up comeback after broken neck "It was probably the second or third time I met the consultant after I'd had my operation, some two months into my recovery," Croft recalls. Originally, when I was in hospital after the op, he'd explained what happened but I was so drugged up on morphine then I didn't have a clue about what was going on. "This next time, he actually went through exactly what I'd done, using a diagram and a little model, and this was when he said: "This is how close you were to going through your spinal cord and being paralysed'. "I was like "----, this is serious" and was actually annoyed that I'd been told because I felt I didn't need to be at that stage of my recovery. Now though, I don't hold it against him at all that he made it clear how bad it actually was. It was probably a good thing in the long term because I knew that I couldn't chance anything, that I had to be 100 per cent right to play again. It was the right thing to be told; it just wasn't a nice thing to be told. What Hamlyn's words did, in fact, were to harden Croft's resolve. "If it had just been a small fracture, I might have thought, "I'll do a little bit of rehab, get it back to where it was and start playing." But because I was aware of the severity, I knew I had to push it as hard as I could to make my neck as strong as possible. Actually, it all probably made me more determined. That ferocious determination now thrusts him back into the limelight at his home ground, Welford Road, for the first time in nine months. Three weeks ago he played 50 minutes at Worcester and, after missing out on the Tigers" two Heineken Cup group games, on Saturday he takes the second step of the comeback in the LV Cup match against Wasps. It was the thought of crunching afternoons like this which spurred on Croft during the most tedious days of rehab and the long hours when, by his admission, he was a "moaning and complaining" couch-bound patient being tended to by his fiancée Harriet. I tried to do everything myself because I hate having to rely on other people. It's only when I realised I couldn't do the simplest thing like washing my hair and ended up rolling around in agony that I might ask for help. And if the helper gets it wrong, I'll have a go at them. It was a testing time for Harriet. I could have done with a bell but Harriet wouldn't give me one! She at least had a captive audience when outlining her plans for their summer wedding. Now his rugby life starts over. I'm not an overly philosophical person, musing over whether the injury has had a big effect on my life. But maybe, deep down, it has affected me in some way. My love of the game has probably increased because this is the longest absence through injury I've had and I just want to get back on the pitch. That's the biggest thing; just being back out there. So, for the moment, he hardly dare permit himself idle daydreams of a Heineken Cup quarter-final at Toulon, a potential England return - "I'll carry on training and playing with Leicester and when they see fit, I'll pick up with the England squad" - and the Lions tour to Australia. Putting that England jersey back on before the end of the Six Nations would be a big moment for me and, of course, I have fond memories of the Lions from 2009. But if I don't make it, I don't make it. I just can't afford to be thinking Six Nations, Lions, or I'll forget the basics of being at Leicester and potentially lose my focus and not get back to my best form. I'm not looking beyond the next game. Naturally, his return is having to be managed with care, even if he is convinced his neck "is probably in the best nick it's been in my whole career." He has trained specifically to strengthen it and, without sacrificing any of his speed and athleticism, has added nearly a stone of ballast to his pre-op 16st 3lb frame. Yet though he felt he was ready to play the deciding Heineken Cup group games against Ospreys and Toulouse, Leicester opted against the gamble of chucking him in when he was still far from match sharp. He accepts that sometimes you need protecting from own eagerness - but it does not stop him feeling more than a tinge of envy when he watches from the sidelines. In November, for instance, he met the family of his team-mates Ben and Tom Youngs at Twickenham as they thrilled to seeing the brothers playing in the historic trouncing of the All Blacks. How did he feel about being there? In all honesty, it p----- you off. You're seeing the boys winning amid this incredible atmosphere and that's great but you just think: "God, I can't wait to be back."" He will be, of course. The real steel in his voice comes when asked if, in the dogfight for places in England's back row, he will regain his place. "Oh yeah," he says, sounding almost put out by the question. I've come back heavier and I believe potentially I can utilise this to be a stronger and better player than ever before. SSE is a National Community Partner of the Rugby Football Union (RFU) and title sponsor of the National and Divisional Leagues