Are You a Master of Cheese Description? There's something about cheese. It inspires people. It doesn't just inspire them to eat more cheese, although we are fully in favor of that. It inspires them to compose odes to cheese. To paint portraits of cheese. To treat cheese with the kind of loving attention that's normally reserved for trophy wives getting the spa treatment. More than anything, cheese inspires cheesemongers to go all Algonquin Round Table on us. As we explore in this week's Dining section, you can step into one of the top cheese shops in New York City and encounter an instant bounty of wit. Some of it is charming, some is sweet, some is scathing and some of it is downright foul, but the prose, poetry and bon mots that are used to describe (and sell) cheese around the city tend to be very funny and smart. Take the Bedford Cheese Shop, which is based in both Brooklyn and Manhattan. Behold how the Bedford squad captures the essence of Mastorazio, a raw sheep's milk cheese from Italy: The Lindsay Lohan of the cheese world, this pecorino has a tan, leathery exterior that surrounds a delicate yellow paste. With hints of herbs and the aroma of hay, you can almost hear the bleating of Lindsay up in the Italian hills. Pair with nicotine, Red Bull, and an alcohol monitor. Or how about Nocturne, from Andante Dairy in California? Here's the lowdown from Team Bedford: Icelandic ponies. Japanese cats on the Internet. Yawning puppies. Toddlers who give each other hugs. Goats climbing all over everything. Pink and green macaroons. Red pandas. Sparkly nail polish. Do you get where I'm going? Cute things. This cheese is so perfect and cute and delicious you just want to marry it. Can you match that - or, even better, top it? We'd like to invite you to try. If you've got a favorite cheese, and a fragrant way with words, we here at the Dining section cordially invite you to submit the wittiest description of that cheese that you can dream up. Havarti haiku? Vacherin villanelle? Reblochon rant? Use whatever form of expression you wish. Just keep the cheese riff to 75 words or less. And submit it here. Later in the week we'll pick a champion.