Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, even in the office New book argues that the biggest challenge people face at work isn't their ability to do their job, it's in their inability to communicate properly with the other sex. WOMEN feel underappreciated in the workplace, but men feel like women's problems are wrongly blamed on them. That's the argument of John Gray, author of Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, who is back with a new book focussing on how both sexes get along in the workplace. He says his new book Work With Me is similar to his relationship best-seller in that they both talk about how different men and women are. "But it's a completely different setting - the object of home life is you find someone you love and want to share love with and be vulnerable," he said. The workplace is the opposite, you're not there because you love it you're there to be successful and make money. Mr Gray's book, co-authored with gender expert Barbara Annis, argues that the biggest challenge people face at work isn't their ability to do their job, it's in their inability to communicate properly with the other sex. He says women feel they have to work harder than men do are and they want the workplace to change. But their complaints often come across as a criticism of men, which men don't want to listen to. Unless, conveniently, they have the guidance of his book to properly explain their problems. "Women are learning through this book a way to communicate that discontent in a way that includes men and doesn't reject men," he said. Mr Gray says the problem is that the workplace has been created by men, for men. "It wasn't done against women, it's not an evil patriarchy, but women simply weren't in the workplace," he said. Now it's changed, but it's still not working for women, and we need to take the blame off men and put it on to the culture of the workplace. Mr Gray says another key problem is that men and women communicate differently creating eight "gender blind spots." The eight gender blind spots are: Women want men to change, but men see this as criticism 2. Women feel underappreciated by men, but men just show their appreciation in a different way to women 3. Women feel excluded by men, but men are oblivious that they are excluding women 4. Men feel like they have to walk on eggshells around women, but women want direct feedback from men 5. Men think women ask too many questions, but women ask questions to increase understanding and collaboration 6. Women think men don't listen, but men are accustomed to interrupting each other 7. Men think women are too emotional, but emotional and passionate responses release stress for women 8. Women think men can be insensitive, but men just aren't as observant as women Mr Gray's book argues that by understanding how the other gender operates, men can do simple things like ask more questions to make women feel more appreciated. And women will understand that a lot of the behaviours that are making them feel underappreciated and excluded are not done intentionally, so they will not take offence. Through 100,000 interviews with business people he found that 80 per cent of women felt that men did not appreciate them in the workplace. "Men think they are appreciating women but they aren't communicating it and women often take offense," he said. It comes down to understanding how men and women value things differently - women value the process and men value the goal. Another topic the book addresses is that idea that men don't listen. The research found that 82 per cent felt they were communicating well enough with women, but just 52 per cent of women felt fully heard by men. "Women want us to listen more, ask more questions and show interest because that builds trust," Mr Gray said. At the same time, the book explores the fact that women ask too many questions. Most men (72 per cent) said women ask too many questions, and 80 per cent of women said they prefer to ask questions even when they know the answer. In the man-only corporate world asking questions usually demonstrates you don't know what you're talking about,' Mr Gray said. Men don't ask questions because it reveals not knowing and not knowing is not being competent. But women ask questions to increase participation, increase mutual understanding, a sense of cooperation and a sense of collaboration. Mr Gray says addressing the different ways men and women work and communicate will not only help individuals, it will help businesses. "Stress levels in the workplace will dramatically go down, it will increase creativity, and it will build a company faster," he said.