Movie review: A Haunted House Unfunny: Marlon Wayans and Essence Atkins in A Haunted House. MOVIE REVIEW: It was only last month that the triumphantly terrible Scary Movie 5 successfully drilled through the bottom of the spoof-horror barrel. Now here comes A Haunted House, promising more of the same. And yet, even less. That hole at the base of the barrel? Consider it gaping. At least Scary Movie 5 mixed things up ever-so-minutely, simply by taking aim at every big recent horror flick its puny little mind could remember. All that A Haunted House can be bothered sending up is the Paranormal Activity franchise. Which is one heck of a dumb move, even by dumb-movie standards. Either at their best or their worst, the Paranormal Activity flicks barely deviate from a static formula. So once A Haunted House has mined every joke it can from grainy handi-cam footage and household fixtures that go bump in the night, there is nothing I repeat, nothing left to satirise. From about the 10-minute mark, A Haunted House becomes a closed circuit of groan-magnetising gags that trade largely in the proven hilarity of kinky sex and stinky farts. Throw in some feeble sledging of women, gays and ethnic minorities, and the laughs just keep on never happening. You want funny? You don't want A Haunted House. A Haunted House [MA15+] Director: Michael Tiddes (feature debut) Starring: Marlon Wayans, Essence Atkins, Cedric the Entertainer, Nick Swardson Rating: 0.5/5 Horrific sense of humour