RICHARD LITTLEJOHN: He may not be much of a comedian, but he's certainly having a laugh: Paul Shiner and The Great Human Rights Swindle For the past decade, Phil Shiner, head of the Birmingham-based Public Interest Lawyers (PIL), has made a handsome living suing the British taxpayer - at the British taxpayers' expense Human rights lawyers are not famous for their sense of humour. So it was something of a surprise to learn that the sour-faced solicitor Phil Shiner lists comedy as one of his hobbies. For the past decade, Shiner has made a handsome living suing the British taxpayer - at the British taxpayers" expense. Shiner is head of the Birmingham-based Public Interest Lawyers (PIL) - not to be confused with the post-punk band Public Image Limited (PiL), put together by Johnny Rotten after the self-immolation of the Sex Pistols. Rotten once starred in a movie called The Great Rock "n" Roll Swindle. If Shiner is ever immortalised on the silver screen it should be called The Great Human Rights Swindle. Shiner's firm specialises in bringing actions against the British Army. I first crossed swords with him on TV during the Iraq war when his representatives were harvesting claims in the back streets of Baghdad and Basra. PIL is a yuman rites version of one of those Blame Direct outfits who advertise on daytime TV. Have you been tortured by a British soldier? You could be entitled to com-pen-say-shun. Shiner is always on the lookout for a jihadist with a grievance which can be used to discredit the Army and win some hard cash. Unlike Blame Direct and the rest of the "no win, no fee" brigade, Shiner gets paid win, lose or draw. He is bankrolled out of the legal aid budget. Over the years he has secured £3 million compensation for his clients, mostly foreign nationals who have alleged abuse at the hands of British troops in Iraq. His work won him the prestigious accolade "Human Rights Lawyer of the Year" in 2004. I bet that was a fun night. We don't know how much he has earned, but legal aid fees clocked up in cases filed by PIL must run into millions. And at a time when the Government is attempting to bring under control the burgeoning £2 billion legal aid budget, Shiner continues to thrive. As part of the proposed £350 million cuts, members of middle-class households with an annual income of £37,000 will no longer be entitled to legal aid for a whole raft of civil claims, including debt and divorce. Yet the funding for firms such as PIL to bring claims for damages on behalf of foreign nationals over incidents alleged to have taken place thousands of miles away would appear to be unaffected. Over the years, Phil Shiner has secured £3 million compensation for his clients, mostly foreign nationals who have alleged abuse at the hands of British troops in Iraq This week Shiner turned up on Radio 4"s Today Programme peddling his latest crusade for truth and justice. He was given a prime platform by a gleeful BBC to denounce "Britain's Guantanamo Bay." Shiner claimed that dozens of Afghans are being held in a "secret prison" at Camp Bastion in Helmand Province. He demanded they should be brought before a court or released. He said: "This is a secret facility that's been used to unlawfully detain or intern up to 85 Afghans that they've kept secret, that Parliament doesn't know about, that courts previously when they have interrogated issues like detention and internment in Afghanistan have never been told about - completely off the radar. It is reminiscent of the public's awakening that there was a Guantanamo Bay. This week Shiner claimed that dozens of Afghans are being held in a 'secret prison' at Camp Bastion in Helmand Province. He demanded they should be brought before a court or released This must be where Shiner's legendary sense of humour comes into play. He should know full well that this isn't a "secret prison." And he is aware that the Army has been trying to get rid of these prisoners for years. Back in 2010, Britain wanted to hand over the detainees to the Afghan justice system. Eventually the High Court in London ruled that they could not be transferred to the Afghans because they might be tortured, which would breach their yuman rites. Far from being "detained unlawfully" they are being held in British custody on the specific orders of a British court. Shiner should know full well that there isn't a 'secret prison'. And he is aware that the Army has been trying to get rid of the prisoners held there for years You'd expect Shiner to know that. Because in 2010, the original Camp Bastion case was brought by, you guessed, one Phil Shiner. On legal aid, natch. So how does he explain telling the BBC this was a "secret camp," "off the radar," that the courts haven't been told about? Now, three years later, he's heading back to court to argue that the detainees should be put on trial or set free. Talk about playing both ends. Like Boris Johnson, Shiner appears to be pro-having cake and pro-eating it. But thanks to the success of his earlier lawsuit, the High Court has ruled the prisoners can't be entrusted to the Afghan legal system. Since Shiner doesn't approve of military justice, that means they would have to be released back into the local community, where they would be at liberty to resume their terrorist activities. In comedy, as in life, timing is everything. Just a week after a British soldier was murdered by Islamist terrorists on the streets of South London, this is an odd time to argue that we should be releasing their comrades-in-jihad on to the streets of Afghanistan to kill more of our troops. Whatever happens next, one thing is certain: yet again the final bill will fall to the mug British taxpayers. Shiner may not be much of a comedian, but he's certainly having a laugh. And the joke's on us. A number of you have drawn my attention to one of the Answers To Correspondents in Wednesday's Mail. Someone had written to ask why his three wheelie bins had 89dB stamped on them. Isn't dB a measure of sound? Apparently, because bins generate a certain amount of noise when they are being wheeled they are required by European law to have a maximum decibel rating. You'd have to play them like a steel drum to exceed 89dB. 89dB? Apparently bins generate a certain amount of noise when they are being wheeled they are required by European law to have a maximum decibel rating But now they've sorted that out, do you think they might turn their attention to those deafening dustcart reverse warning sirens which wail like banshees. Sometimes the sirens are so loud they drown out the sound of urban foxes fighting over the contents of the wheelie bins. Curious the lengths to which wealthy Lefties will go to identify with the oppressed. The organiser of the Hay Festival has banned David Goodhart from promoting his book British Dream, on the adverse effects of mass immigration. Peter Florence said his objection stemmed in part from the fact that he himself was the second generation product of a "mixed marriage." Florence, educated at private school and Cambridge University, is hardly one of the under-privileged. But the fact that his father was born in South Africa and his mum is Welsh gives him the chance to play identity politics and the victim card. Funny, I thought "mixed marriage" went out with "half-caste." At least in polite circles, like the kind of folk who attend literary festivals. Round my way, a "mixed marriage" is when a man supports Spurs and his wife supports Arsenal. Mind you, given this Government's obsession with gay weddings, how long before we have to describe all matrimony between a man and a woman as a "mixed marriage"? Surrey Police has been criticised for spending more than £500 on an elephant costume at a time when it is cutting £28 million from its annual budget Surrey Police has been criticised for spending more than £500 on an elephant costume at a time when it is cutting £28 million from its annual budget. Constables and PCSOs have to dress up as Ernie the Engagement Elephant to teach children about crime prevention. Critics say it would be a better idea if the police actually dressed up as policemen, not road sweepers and car park attendants. Any other adult who pretended to be Ernie the Elephant in order to "engage with children" would have his collar felt by Operation Yewtree and would soon be packing his trunk for Parkhurst. Mind how you go. A tattooed Samaritan Thanks for all your sartorial horror stories, which are still rolling in. Most of you seem to agree that the warm weather really does bring out the worst in British "style." Spandex leggings and Lycra shorts are nearly always a mistake, especially on ladies who lunch at Greggs. Where do people buy some of these scruffy, ill-fitting summer clothes? Do they have any idea what they look like? Driving through Hyde Park on Sunday, I've seen better-dressed refugee camps. Older readers, in particular, find some modern fashions quite intimidating, such as men with all-over "body art." My neighbour Stewart told me about one of his relatives who tripped and bashed his head getting out of the car at a shopping centre just off the M25. As his wife went to his aid, she saw a menacing hulk of a man, covered in tattoos, marching towards them. The man pulled off his T-shirt, rolled it into a ball, lifted her husband's head and used it as a makeshift pillow. He then strode off, bare-chested, into Marks & Sparks. Normally, if you saw a half-naked, tattooed man striding in your direction you'd run a mile to avoid him. But this chap, far from being the thug his appearance might otherwise have suggested, was a true good Samaritan. Just goes to prove you can't always judge a book by its cover.