After kidnap: Jaycee Lee Dugard on being freed after 18 years in captivity Jaycee Lee Dugard before she was kidnapped, aged 11, in 1991. Photograph: Nick Ut/AP Jaycee Lee Dugard was kidnapped in 1991, aged 11, as she went to catch the bus to school in South Lake Tahoe, California. She was held prisoner for 18 years by Phillip Garrido and his wife, Nancy, who later admitted kidnap and sexual assault. Here Dugard describes discovering she is pregnant aged 14, and the challenges of trying to have a normal family life since her release. Easter Sunday, 1994. Phillip says there is something that he needs to talk to me about. He says he and Nancy have been watching me lately and noticed that I'd been putting on weight and waddling instead of walking. I said I know. I told them I did feel bigger and my stomach was hurting a lot, too. They said, "We think you may be pregnant." I am stunned and scared. What was going to happen to me? What was going to happen to the baby? I will probably have to give her up for adoption - how can I possibly raise a baby in this environment? A few days later, I am still haunted by the thought of having to give up the baby. Phillip brings China, a beautiful blond cocker spaniel, to visit me. He knows I really love animals. China always makes me feel so much better. She lays her head on my ever-expanding, painful tummy. All my worries just seem to melt away. Laying there with China next to me and feeling the baby move and kick my ribs, I come to realise that I can never give up my baby. Giving her away was not even an option. The connection I feel for this baby inside of me every time I feel it move is an incredible feeling. I talk to my belly and tell it stories. Every time I feel the baby kick, I feel less and less alone in this world. I'm watching many baby shows to prepare myself to take care of a baby. Phillip has rented birthing videos from the library and watched them with me. It looks pretty scary, but he said he could do it and nothing would go wrong. Every day seems to melt into the next. I have been having sharp pains all day; I have been in pain before. But this pain seemed different, and started to get so severe by afternoon that I couldn't even move. Is this what it feels like to have a baby? I wish I wasn't alone. I am so scared. No one has come to check on me all day and the door was still locked, so I have to wait until someone comes. Nancy finally comes in around 5pm. She sees me hunched over in pain. She goes to get Phillip and he asks me all kinds of questions, like how long do the contractions last, while Nancy goes to get all the stuff they need, like towels and hot water. Phillip reassures me that he knows what to do. Nancy is a nurse's aide. I don't have anyone else. The contractions last into the night. I twist and turn and try to find a comfortable position, but nothing helps. It is late by the time my water finally breaks. At first I thought I had peed myself. I tell Phillip and he thinks it won't be long now. I have never been in so much pain in my life. Phillip tells me I need to push now. It seems like it is taking for ever and the baby is still not coming. He feels inside and discovers the cord is around the baby's neck and is preventing the baby from coming out. He uses his finger to pull the cord away slightly and the next push is successful! Nancy takes her and gets her cleaned up. After that they gave her to me to hold for the first time and cleaned up all the mess and changed my sheets. I am exhausted and all I want to do is go to sleep. I nurse her for the first time, which feels very strange to me, and then we both went to sleep. My baby girl came into the world at 4.35am on 18 August 1994. I am 14 years old and very, very scared. [Jaycee Lee Dugarde goes on to give birth to a second daughter in captivity. Her children are 11 and 15 when she is freed.] Do you ever think twice before going to your child's football or basketball game? Do you ever have to think, am I putting my kids' future in jeopardy because I show up at a game? I have to think about that every time I step out of the house. Am I doing something today with my kids to cause them to get their photo taken and jeopardise their privacy? I know this is not a life-or-death situation, but it is hard for me nonetheless. Now that I can, I want to be there for them in all the ways I couldn't before - watch them play ball and help out with school functions - but I can't without risking someone will recognise me and connect me with them. Sometimes I feel like I'm still a prisoner. Yes, I could decide to say, "Screw it, and to hell with what happens." But I really don't have that choice. It is a free country and as such people have the right to take your picture or your kids' picture and sell it for the highest price. I spent 18 years hiding and not being seen, and now it almost feels like history is repeating itself. I know that sounds dramatic, and maybe it is, but it kills me inside to tell my daughters we can't do something together because I can't risk them being connected with me. I feel I have missed out on so many things already that I hate to miss a second more. But I have to keep my girls safe and their lives normal. Sometimes I have trouble untangling my past and my present. My past was spent hiding and feeling nervous when I was out in public. Now it is mostly the same. Inside, I fight a war about being the person I want to be, and temper that with who I need to be to keep my kids safe. When will the battle end?