Working Aussie dads told to 'man up' and stop missing out on their kids' lives Stuart Turner with his children Amy (4) and Zac (23 months) at home in Lane Cove. AUSSIE dads need to "man up" and demand flexible work hours to spend more time with their families, a federal government agency says. Workplace Gender Equality Agency director Helen Conway said working fathers were "stressed to buggery" but too afraid to ask for more time at home. She urged dads to commemorate Father's Day by "manning up" to request family-friendly work hours. "Men see their mates who look down on them if they request flexible work," she told News Corp. They think you're a wimp if you're caring for your kids, and there's a lot of peer pressure. But they've got to man up and ask for flexible work arrangements. Real men spend time with their families. Ms Conway blasted the "antiquated thinking" of employers who assumed mothers would look after the children and take care of the housework. But she said some ambitious men also feared that working part-time or fewer hours would stunt their careers. "They see women's careers disadvantaged because they've got flexible work, and they don't want their own careers disadvantaged," she said. They've got to have the courage of their convictions. They should feel they can ask for flexible work and put a finger on the chest of the employer a little. If employees start asking for it, the employer can't ignore that. Magnetic fridge letters make for a nice surprise on Father's Day. Ms Conway said employers were more likely to knock back a man's requests for flexible work than a woman's. She warned bosses it was potentially discriminatory to grant flexible work hours to mothers, but not fathers. "Men are particularly disadvantaged around flexible work," she said. For a happy healthy life people need balance, and it's only fair and reasonable men should be given the same opportunities as women - but that's not happening at the moment. Employers are more prepared to accommodate women because they think women do all the caring. That is really antiquated thinking. Ms Conway said "ambitious men" often felt they needed to "work hard and long hours." "They're stressed to buggery working hours and hours, and missing out on their kids' lives," she said. The kids never see their fathers and that's not good for children. Ernst & Young partner Stuart Turner, an accountant from Lane Cove in Sydney, has worked four-day weeks since the birth of his daughter in 2009. His wife Susan, an actuary, recently returned to work full-time as chief financial officer for Colonial First State Global Asset Management. Both took six months off work to care for four-year-old Amy and one-year-old Zac. "For us the best option was to both go part-time so neither of us is taking a bigger hit on our career," Mr Turner said. We were both focused on our careers and wanted to keep them going, so this (flexible work) gives us more time with the kids. I take my daughter swimming and get stuff done around the house on my day off so we can enjoy our weekends. Mr Turner, 39, said he also left work at 4pm or 4.30pm twice a week to pick up the kids from childcare. Ernst & Young's diversity and inclusiveness leader for Oceania, Edyta Torpy, said staff were "more productive and engaged when they come to work" if they were given time with their families. The company used flexible hours to attract and retain talented staff, she said. "There are more men saying they need flexibility and asking for it, but the numbers are still low compared to women," she said. We want to mainstream the idea of flexibility - for the young worker to study, for the older worker to take their elderly parents to the doctor, or even to climb mountains. Sinclair Knight Merz traffic planner John Richardson took paid leave to care for his two sons. The Flemington (Melbourne) dad, 31, worked part-time to care for two-year-old Isaac, and has just returned from three months' leave looking after Levi, born a year ago. "It was valuable time and I got to know my boys and really understand how they operate, rather than just see them at the end of the day," he said. His wife Rhiannon works full-time at ANZ as a risk manager. Mr Richardson said he thought his colleagues would object when he applied for parental leave. "Quite a lot of people on my team have children who are now grown up and they were quite jealous in a way - they wished they'd been able to do that too - but they were extremely supportive," he said. Engineering firm Sinclair Knight Merz global diversity manager Fiona Rose said flexible work "makes business sense." The company offers all new parents 12 weeks' paid leave, to be used within a year of the baby's birth. "All the studies suggest staff coming back from leave often are the ones who have much higher productivity because they're doing more in less time," Ms Rose said. Ms Conway said Gen Y men were more likely to demand work-life balance once they started families. "Younger men want to work flexibly and workplaces haven't kept up with that societal change," she said. The Labor government amended the Fair Work Act in June to give all workers with "caring responsibilities" for children the right to request flexible working arrangements. But employers can still refuse a request on "reasonable business grounds," meaning workers have no legal right to flexibility. Father's day is Sunday September 1. 18% of men cite lack of flexibility as the main reason they would leave their employer. Bosses reject 17.4% of men's requests for flexible work, compared to 10% of women's. 79% of Gen Y fathers would prefer to work a compressed work-week - but only 24% do. 56% of Gen Y fathers would prefer to work part of the week at home - but only 13% do. Men who want flexible work prefer to choose their start and finish times (64%), work a compressed week (56%), work some regular hours at home (34%) or work part-time (20%). One in five Australian men works more than 50 hours a week, compared to 6% of women. Source: Diversity Council of Australia; Centre for Work + Life; OECD.