Damien Oliver's holiday at mug punters' expense Illustration by Simon Bosch At a charity function held in Melbourne a week ago, Richard Callander was cracking jokes, as the big fella often does. It's hard to tell if it was at the expense of fellow jockey Damien Oliver, or inadvertently at you, the mug punter. The topic of discussion, as he spoke on stage, was about Oliver's recently served 10-month suspension for having a $10,000 bet on Miss Octopussy to win a race at Moonee Valley on October 1, 2010. Miss Octopussy won as $2.30 favourite. Oliver rode Europa Point in the same race into sixth. He won $11,000 on the race. Callander noted to the room the irony of Oliver so happening to have a bet for the first time, of $10,000, on a horse that won. Hilarious! Timely return: Jockey Damien Oliver's ban ended in time for the Melbourne spring carnival. Currently serving a suspension until the end of September 2015, having pleaded guilty to two counts of improper conduct towards Racing Victoria stewards, disgraced jockey Danny Nikolic, who was also at the lunch, can relate to the Oliver situation. Nikolic spoke about other times when he'd been banned, and how he would spend that time ringing a family member, and that family member would be at home, having a few bets. Wink-wink, nudge-nudge. Racing has always had a stench about it because of the enormous amount of money involved, and the various rorts that bubble to the surface. We blindly bet anyway, for all manner of reasons. There's something magical and romantic about the sport, and if you happen to leave the track with a couple of pineapples in the top pocket and a sauce stain on your tie, good luck to you. But when racing's integrity is so shamelessly mocked, it hardly does it any justice. Nor would Oliver winning the Melbourne Cup on Tuesday aboard Gai Waterhouse's Fiorente, the favourite for the race. Many believe Oliver should not be riding in this spring carnival. New anti-corruption legislation was introduced in Victorian Parliament this week, compelling jockeys, trainers and owners to co-operate with investigations. They've come a year late. Racing Victoria took a staggering three months this time last year to investigate Oliver's bet on Miss Octopussy, held up by legal challenges. It reeked of a deal being struck so Oliver - an iconic figure after his win on Media Puzzle in 2002 days after the death of his brother - could ride in the Cup carnival. He didn't disappoint, saluting in the Victoria Derby and Emirates Stakes. Two days after the carnival was over, Oliver admitted to the bet and was rubbed out. That Oliver only received 10 months is not his fault. As Kerry Packer famously said of paying not a cent more tax than he had to, so too with Oliver and his suspension. But it smacks of double standard. In 2009, Victorian bookmaker Simon Beasley was disqualified for four years and fined $50,000 by the Racing Appeals and Disciplinary Board after being found guilty of concealing millions of dollars worth of bets. Maybe that's fair enough. But it's a yawning difference in punishment compared with Oliver's holiday. Oliver has effectively missed out on a lucrative autumn carnival in Sydney, and is now back in time for the most important few weeks of the year. He's a ruthless and brilliant jockey. We all know that. But his appearance on the Melbourne Cup favourite is a reminder that the joke, too often, is on us. Unless, of course, you've backed him. First past post, not bar The place to be after last Saturday's Cox Plate was the Sportingbet after-party at Club 23, the "most exclusive nightclub in Melbourne," owned by Shane Warne and his poker mate Joe Hachem. Spotted among the crowd were rugby league types Darren Lockyer, Mark Coyne and Dragons coach Steve Price. So, too, a very baby-faced Chad Schofield, the 19-year-old redhead who hours earlier had piloted Shamus Award to victory in the weight-for-age championship of the world. Some recognised the man of the hour, although many did not as they knocked him out of the way getting to the bar. "No, I'm not having a drink tonight," he told this column. I'm riding tomorrow. Boo! Meanwhile, racing officials are far from happy with the ambush marketing being employed by rival bookmaker Betstar, whose "belles" handed out condoms as part of a promotion on the trains from Flinders Street station before being turned away at the gates at Mooney Valley. Koukash calling As revealed by Fairfax Media during the week, billionaire Marwan Koukash intends on winning the Melbourne Cup with Mount Athos, and will then look to handpick some of the best players in the NRL for his other sporting interest, the Salford Red Devils. He also squared up those who run the sport, claiming they were "dinosaurs." He then turned his attention to England coach Steve McNamara, who dropped Gareth Hock over a pre-tournament bonding session. Having told Parramatta he won't be coming next year, Hock will play for Salford. "I have no doubt that he's been treated unfairly," Koukash said. It's an easy get-out clause for somebody to get rid of a player. What Gareth Hock needs is someone to treat him right. You can't treat every horse the same. You can't treat every human the same. Behind closed doors We told you in this space a week ago that Michael Clarke was not impressed with Ricky Ponting and what he had to say in his autobiography - but we didn't expect things to escalate to DEFCON 1. As soon as the catfight between Clarke and Ponting simmered, another former Test captain, Mark Taylor, weighed in, claiming Punter breached the sanctity of the dressing room, and it was on again. It was exactly the same as four years ago, when the story about Simon Katich grabbing Clarke by the throat in the SCG rooms first surfaced. "I'd like to know who told you," former Test keeper Ian Healy told this column back then. Those things should never leave the dressing room. Q & A with Johnny Letts We spoke to Channel 7's horseback interviewer about next week's Melbourne Cup. It's a job the 70-year-old has been doing for 21 years. You rode two Cups winners: Piping Lane (1972) and Beldale Ball (1980). What does winning the race do for a jockey? You can go out on to the track as an unknown, and when you come back you are known worldwide. I went in there as a jockey who had never ridden at Flemington. From that day onwards, my career just skyrocketed. That's what it does. Most memorable Cup interviews? Damien Oliver's win in 2002 was emotional, but one of my favourite was when Makybe Diva won her third Cup (2005). I never thought we'd see a mare winning three Cups in succession. When she did it, I was at the back of the track. I've never actually seen a race at Flemington for 21 years. I wait around the back, and I get told what's won the race. Most times, when they go to the line, I don't know what has won because the crowd drowns out the call. When she won her third, I thought there was a 373 landing on me. I didn't need to be told what happened. Ever been refused an interview? When the Japanese jockey (Yasunari Iwata) won on Delta Blues in 2006, I only got about five words out of him. In 1993, when Michael Kinane won on Vintage Crop, I said, "You've come from the other side of the world to win a million-dollar race." I didn't know at the time that he was a million-dollar jockey. He just looked at me and said, "Yep." That was my first day out on the track for Seven. All the jockeys now realise the exposure that they get. We go into 120 countries around the world, to 700 million people. Has your mount, Banjo, ever thrown you? No, although I wouldn't blame him. Americain bit him. Dunaden kicked him. He always seems to just get missed apart from that. He loves it.