Star Bores: an alternative look at the new Star Wars trailer There has been an awakening. Have you felt it? Why are you talking like that? And, no, I haven't. In fact, I haven't felt a thing. Gosh, there's so much sand, which I hadn't expected. I thought this was meant to be set in space. Wait, what? You can get sand in space? Maybe my parents have got a lot of explaining to do, after all. Woah there! You gave me quite the fright, popping up like that. He's hot; he's bothered... okay, I reckon this guy has definitely felt the awakening. Or was it him talking in that weird voice a second ago? Surely he wouldn't feel his own awakening, would he? The speed of camera movement suggests an emergency. Maybe a Jedi wants a Tunnock's Teacake and has demanded to have it delivered by football. This shot only flashed up momentarily. In that case, it's probably important... which is annoying, as it's going to be a complete nightmare trying to get a screen grab. At last, someone who has actually bothered to dress appropriately for the desert. It makes you wonder what those guys in the white plastic suits were thinking. Okay, not that sensibly dressed, all things considered. But actually, I can deal with this: we've got a human being riding a tractor in the desert. Lawrence of Arabia was more "out-there" than this. Alright, alright, Lawrence of Arabia didn't ever do anything quite like this. Point taken. Oh, it's that guy from Inside Llewyn Davis. Is he still looking for his cat? Ah, more words. And it's that bloody voice again, the one we heard in the desert at the beginning of the trailer. "The dark side," the voice booms... as a light comes on. In-joke? I love this music. For a horrible moment there, I thought that said December 2014. Phew! Can we all get on with our lives now?