Allison Pearson: Pride and Prejudice rap Imagine Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice turned into a rap, or The Hound of the Baskervilles as a comic strip, she suggests. Purists may shudder at the thought of Miss Austen getting on down with the kids, but the young Jane was a wicked writer of parodies. I think she'd approve. So, away with fusty old language and antiquated wit! Get on down to Netherfield! Lizzie so bizzie she don" give a tosse, Neighbo'hood hip-hop, she meet Darcy He got squillions, think hisself classy. She way too brimmin" with pride "n" pred To let no britcherman share her bed. But Jane she spies ya man Bingley He make her go all a-fuzzie and tingley, Kitty an" Mary, they just so-so But lil" Lyddie, man, o such a ho She "loping with tha badass soldiah Anyone known her could've toldjah. Tha Bennety clan all a-busted with shame Till Darcyman ride in, save their name, Juss when ya thinkin" it couldn't get dafta Dey all go livin happly ever after!