5 questions every flight attendant hates These questions really give us a headache. AS A flight attendant, answering questions is part of the deal. That's cool. I like being helpful. But there are certain questions that I dread because the passenger expects a very different ending to the situation than I do. Published on FlyerTalk, here are my top five. I'm not sitting with my friend/spouse/relative, can you swap people around to get us together? I know it's no fun to travel separated, but I have no real authority to make people move*. If you're asking me it means you saw that the seat map was full, you didn't try at the gate (where it should be handled) and/or the agents have already said they couldn't do anything. If it was easy it would have been done already, right? Agents often pass this buck to us, and we simply have nowhere else to pass it. I have little power here, but you're standing there looking so unhappy that it's hard to say no. I know you want to be near your friends but hanging in the aisles won't help either. On packed flights it's a real challenge, like reorganising Tetris pieces, except I'm looking at it under a time crunch. After all, I have a list of safety requirements to fulfil - - which I have to prioritise. But you're not really aware of all that. You just want to be with your friend/spouse/relative, I understand. I also know that when other unhappy passengers see me rearranging, I might end up in the aisle surrounded by "me too"s waving boarding passes at me. This is why I'll sigh inside. Can I just sit in that open Business/First Class seat? C'mon, you know you can't. Why have you got to make me the bad guy? I have a tight connection, can you make an announcement asking everyone to let me off first? Rarely does this work. Even if other passengers play along, many of you "Tight Connectors" are sure to be seated in window or middle seats. Others will have to get up to let you out. Then the aisle is clogged with their bodies. The "Tight Connectors" can't get down the aisle and now we're deplaning like usual, or worse, because now those that got up to let you out need to get back into the row to retrieve their under-the-seat bags. Traffic jam. It's a mess. It didn't help. But sometimes when I say this, I get a look like I'm just making excuses not to help. I don't want that, and I know it'll make you feel better if I make the announcement. So I'll do it. No biggie, except I feel like I've set you up for more frustration. Want to bring cabin luggage on-board? Lift it yourself. Can you lift my bag for me? If you're the type to insist, you might think I'm lazy for declining. This is not something most U.S. airlines do anymore* and for good reason - airlines don't want their crews out with constant bag injuries. Many passengers do not seem to realise or care that if they can get hurt lifting their bag, I can get hurt. If that happens I'm stuck with the fall out while the passenger skips away. Workers Comp can just say it wasn't part of my job. I agree bag fees suck, but my medical bills will definitely cost more. I'm careful not to bring more than I can lift, and if I do, I check it. My bag is my responsibility. That's how I (literally) roll. Everyone should. I know you've got questions but I'm busy doing the safety talk. Do you have a pen? It's a harmless question, it's just, lots of passengers get really offended if I don't. Even if it's simply because I already gave it away, they sometimes snap with things like, "Doesn't your airline give you pens?" They don't. I could ask back, "Why are you mad at me? Did you not know you'd need a pen when you travel? At least for customs forms? But I don't love conflict, so I don't. I probably do have a pen, but I need it for lots things throughout the flight, and I know what's going to happen: I'll make them promise to give it back. They'll promise, but 95 per cent of the time, they won't. When I go to chase it down they've passed it on to they-don't-remember-who or lost it or chewed it up. Now I have to find a new one (over and over and over). That's not frustrating at all! It's just a pen. Smile. No you can't sit in those empty business class seats. If you're in First or Business try your amenity kit. If you're in economy, maybe ask that person next to you - the one using a pen for their forms - which they'll be done with in three minutes. But if you insist on asking me, sure, we'll go through the dance in the paragraph above. The theme here is not that you shouldn't ask for assistance. Ask away! It's that some of the most innocuous-sounding requests carry the most potential conflict - but only one of us sees it lurking. So if you've ever asked one of these and thought the flight attendant grimaced for just a moment, you probably weren't imagining it. She was just dreading whatever comes after her answer, no matter how gently she said it. Unless talking about special need passengers like young children, the elderly or passengers with disabilities. Originally published as Five questions every flight attendant hates