Mark Gretason Vicar, 56, Worcester If you're single and you have a job like mine that involves lots of engagement with people, they necessarily crowd in and you need to make time to find out where you are. It sounds a bit navel-gazing, but it's important that you never lose sight of yourself. That's why there is the great tradition of the vicar's day off, in theory a day on which the vicar cannot be disturbed. I'm not really the meditative sort, not the kind of person who can sit still for too long. I need something to settle to. In the Christian tradition, the concepts of nothingness, of emptying yourself, are really very marginal. But Jesus did say that when you want to pray, shut the door. In this society, that means turning off your mobile, or unplugging the phone. Sometimes all you need is someone to spend time with who doesn't drain you. One of my parishioners is extremely happily married, with a lovely family, but every so often he comes over and we share a few glasses of wine. He doesn't say very much - he just needs to get away. Yes, we are social animals - that's what people are told all the time. But we're also solitary: we need space to ourselves, and if we don't have it it causes tension. As a child I was pulled between wanting to belong to the group and wanting to be myself, not taken over by other people. At the same time I didn't want to be a social outcast. I was bullied a little because I was just too bloody-minded to change my ways. When I'm alone I read, I do some gardening, I pray, I play the piano, I think ... I allow things to surface. Walking seems to make the thoughts flow, speeds the blood around the ageing head. It's nice to encounter someone to say hello to, and then to go on one's way again and return to one's thoughts. I love the moments when you make a new connection, when you see something you didn't see before; it's like a spark, it freshens you. I have to make sure that the balance in my life between my work and my time to myself remains good. Things are always getting out of kilter. It's why I mourn the loss of a proper sabbath; if you talk to orthodox jews about their sabbath day, where everything is switched off, it really is a day of joy for them. Solgerd Isalv Singer, 32, Nuremberg I get very tired when I'm with people for a long time I read an article recently about introverts and thought, yes, I would describe myself as an introvert. I like other people's company, but I need my own time. I get stressed if I don't have it. I need the balance. When you're growing up you look at how other people behave, and the people around me travelled with friends, they didn't want to do things alone, they would study together in groups. But if I wanted to learn something, I had to do it alone. I realised that there was a difference between me and my classmates. I found it very relaxing, for example, to watch a movie with my friends. But I would then need to be awake for a couple more hours on my own. That was a different level of relaxation. As a singer you do a lot of work alone. It's very social when you're on stage - you're interacting with the audience and your colleagues. But the majority of my working time is alone in my practice room translating text, or doing research in front of the computer. I enjoy rehearsal, I enjoy the social side of my work, but I also enjoy the work alone. The nature of the business means that you spend a lot of time travelling, living in hotel rooms. I can have a good time alone in any city in the world. As I get older, I accept this side of myself more and more. At the same time, when I don't have the possibility of some time to myself - like a family occasion where I can't get away - I tend to deal with it better. Ten years ago I would have reacted in a kind of panicking way - I would get claustrophobic, as if I couldn't breathe or think properly - but now it's much easier. I do get very tired, though, when I'm with people for a long time, and a bit moody. And I still get very stressed when I can't forsee the schedule, can't pinpoint exactly when I'll get some time to myself. I have a partner who really understands. He is an artist himself. If I say to him that I need some time to myself, he accepts that. Elana Winfrey Therapist, 44, Georgia, US I'm an introvert. People assume I'm an extrovert because I'm not shy and I can get on with others, but I have to be by myself to re-energise afterwards. Carl Jung explained that an introvert was someone who had to be alone to re-energise, while an extrovert was energised by being around people. I'm a mental health therapist but I've also started a business picking up litter because I love working outside and I don't have to talk to people while I do it. I enjoy therapy - I've been doing it for 15 years - but I know better than to schedule back-to-back sessions. I make sure I have a 30-minute break between clients. My family know and understand that I need time alone. My oldest son is very introverted too. I was like that as a child and my mother used to worry about it. My room was my oasis; I used to read and paint there. I didn't want to chat to other people; I don't like chatting on the phone. And my best friend is just like me - we'll talk to each other every couple of months and then we'll catch up and have a wicked day together. People who need solitude really absorb a lot from other people, which is why it's so draining. I love being alone; when I'm working on a project, that's when I come up with my best ideas. It's when I can process things, work through ideas; it's when I get my best work done. Most introverts have one person that never drains you, and for me that's my husband. I could be with him 24 hours a day and never get tired of his company. Jon Magidsohn Writer, 46, Bangalore I don't feel restless and bored when I'm by myself. It only happens when I'm with other people A love of solitude has always been with me. Even when I was nine or 10 years old I remember liking to be by myself in my room, with the door closed and music playing, entertaining myself with a jigsaw puzzle or some sports magazines. I wasn't doing homework or reading anything useful - it was just idle time. I remember my mother saying, "Why don't you go outside?" But I've just always enjoyed my own company. In my teens and my twenties I was very sociable and went to lots of big parties. I was working in bars and restaurants trying to fund a musical career. In 1995 I got married to Susan, and in 2003 she was five months pregnant when she was diagnosed with breast cancer. She died 10 months later, six months after our son Myles was born. He was still an infant and I quit my job to look after him. I didn't work for three years after that, and I spent a lot of time alone, or just with Myles. It really helped with the grieving process. I've seen people who, five, 10 years later are still in that dark place. But I was able to come out of there, and a couple of years later I got together with my second wife, Deborah. The three of us are living in India at the moment, and I'm working as a writer. I spend several hours a day by myself and it's great. I accept it as part of me. It only happens when I'm with other people - during a meal perhaps. I do sometimes wonder if one day I'll start to reject people entirely, but I don't think it will get to that point. Dorothea Bluemer Architect, 50, Berlin I really like my own company - I feel as if it gives me freedom. I am an architect for the state; I design prisons and courtyards and schools. During the week my door is always open and I have no time for myself at all. In the evenings I try to find an hour to read, but mostly I'm with my daughter, who's 14. I work full time and I like to spend time with friends and with colleagues. But I also enjoy going out alone, to the cinema or to a restaurant. Last year I went to London by myself for a whole week. When I talk about it, people are sometimes a little bit astounded. Yet one of the things that I find great about travelling alone is that I meet a lot of people. It's a completely other way of travelling. When you are alone you have to face all your problems alone - there's no one to discuss them with. But in all the time that I have spent alone, I have never felt lonely. I had so many things that I wanted to see. I loved it so much, doing things in my own rhythm, drifting along streets and looking at things just as I wanted to. It is a great luxury. I enjoyed solitude as a child. There were several chores that we had to do, and I always liked to fold the laundry. I would take my music and close the door and I really enjoy it. I wouldn't like to live on my own. I like to have contact with people around me. But I like to spend time alone - it is a piece of my character. It belongs to me.