The British Citizenship Test is bizarre Here's one. Jobcentre Plus is run by which of the following: the Home Office, local authorities, the Ministry of Employment, or the Department of Work and Pensions? Or how about this: adults who have been unemployed for six months are usually required to join New Deal if they wish to continue receiving benefit. True or false? Um, well, it sounds true... And how long does a father have to work before he is entitled to paternity leave? Where were the questions about Henry VIII? Or Shakespeare? Or Elgar? Finally, I came to a history question: in what year were British women given the right to divorce their husbands? Give up? I did. And so it went on, with questions about who can claim free prescriptions, the inner workings of the European Union, multiculturalism, and sexual harassment law. It was like being stuck in a lift with Harriet Harman. I know, I know, if the questions were about British history, I imagine a high percentage of British citizens would still fail, thanks to Anthony Crosland's policy of doing away with grammar schools. But the questions do seem to miss the point about Britishness. Couldn't they include one about British values, such as tolerance, habeas corpus, and letting your neighbour ride your horse? Or how about one on why it's frowned upon to queue jump? Or what the correct response is if someone bumps into you (do you say "Sorry," "Terribly sorry" or "My fault")? Or true or false: when you meet someone you know in the street, you are expected to talk to them very briefly about the weather? And there ought to be a question that tests whether you have a British sense of irony. What can bring the whole country to a standstill? a) an industrial strike b) a terrorist attack c) a light fall of snow.