Little League season in emails: Chris Erskine's Fan of the House Little League players are paid in box drinks and grass stains. Their coaches are paid in memories that last a lifetime. Not good memories, just memories. With baseball season beginning, here are some emails from the trenches: Dear team parents, On behalf of the league, I'd like to welcome you to another season of youth baseball. It is my pleasure to inform you that at our draft last evening, I chose your 9-year-old son to be on my team. I look forward to meeting him and the rest of the family. As time allows, please inform me of any allergies your son may have, which meds he is on, and whether he has any significant spatial issues involving time, distance and dangerous flying objects. Sincerely, Coach I am sorry that none of you could make last night's parent meeting. I know everyone has busy schedules. We will have a makeup meeting in the near future. I am sorry that none of you could make last night's makeup parent meeting. We will have a makeup, makeup meeting in the near future. Thank you all for attending last night's parent mixer/car giveaway/open bar. Who knew Twister could be played for money? A quick word about cups. I realize that this is the first year many of the young men are wearing the hard protective cups. While a certain adjustment period is to be expected, many of the players have taken to wearing the cups on their heads like yarmulkes, or in their shirts like brassieres. While this is always a comedy hit in the dugout, please note that wearing a cup anyplace other than its intended place goes against the team policies we discussed at last week's parent mixer. They are also not to be used as ashtrays, ice cream scoops or second base.