Teixeira's Exit Creates a Job Opening at FIFA NEWS ITEM: SÃO PAULO (Reuters) - Ricardo Teixeira severed his ties with football's international governing body on Monday, a week after he resigned as head of the Brazilian Football Confederation and organizer of the 2014 World Cup. Teixeira said he was stepping down from FIFA's executive committee for personal reasons. He had been a member of the committee since 1994 and until recently was seen as a possible successor to FIFA president Sepp Blatter. Plum jobs in soccer don't come open every week, unless you want to manage at Chelsea, where it only seems that way. So when a place on FIFA's 24-member executive committee became available Monday, computers around the world probably went to work quickly popping out newly polished résumés. But what does a secretive, billion-dollar enterprise look for in a new employee? Is there a background check? Should there be one? Maybe even more than one? Interested? Don't clean out your current desk just yet. As this is FIFA, there is no doubt a preferred candidate already maneuvering into Teixeira's open chair. But what if there weren't? What would the want ad for a position like that look like? Something like this? FIFA, world soccer's governing body, is seeking a candidate to fill an immediate opening in its senior leadership. Applicants should have either a bachelor's degree in soccer or graduate-level study in political infighting, not to mention a healthy appreciation for life's finer things. Preference will be given to those with a background in rights negotiations, premium ticket sales and grassroots development projects. Discretion is a welcome personal trait, but organizational loyalty is far more valued. Salary is technically fixed but in many cases is routinely, extremely, wonderfully negotiable. Interested candidates should affix a résumé and references from at least three current or former executive committee members - though not this one or this one and especially not this one - to a nice bottle of wine and mail to FIFA headquarters, Zurich. Emailed applications will go unread, as new technology is really scary and requires more study. The chosen candidate will be informed by private jet; unsuccessful ones should just continue to offer gifts in hope of a different outcome. Oh, and one more thing: women need not apply. Just don't tell any women that. Sound about right? No? Share your want ad, or your qualifications, or (more seriously) your preferred candidate in the comments.