Casting Begins for Tebow, the Sequel Now that Peyton Manning has signed with the Broncos, it is time to speculate on where Tim Tebow will land after the Broncos inevitably trade him. Tebow speculation is similar to Manning speculation: no outcome is too far-fetched and every team has something to gain - and perhaps a little to lose - by acquiring the incredibly popular, athletic, erratic-armed lefty. Here is a breakdown on what a Tebow trade could mean for each N.F.L. team. ARIZONA CARDINALS Receiver Larry Fitzgerald's first news conference after the Tebow signing: "No, I am thrilled that my reception total will go from 80 catches to about 25. I ... I love blocking for option plays! Steam roiling from my ears? There's no steam roiling from my ears! ATLANTA FALCONS Matt Ryan remains the starter. Tim Tebow is given one specialized task: use his strength to convert quarterback sneaks on fourth-and-1. He carries 240 times during the 2012 season, resulting in six first downs. BALTIMORE RAVENS General Manager Ozzie Newsome creates the perfect quarterback by grafting Joe Flacco's cannon arm onto Tim Tebow's powerful, agile body. The quarterback created from Tebow's scattershot arm and Flacco's gawky frame is traded to the Dolphins. BUFFALO BILLS Receiver Stevie Johnson once blamed heavenly forces after he dropped a would-be touchdown pass in overtime. I praise you 24/7! And this is how you do me!" he tweeted. Mysterious ways, folks. Mysterious ways. CAROLINA PANTHERS Tebow and Cam Newton bring the single-wing offense back to pro football. Either player could pass or run at any time, creating confusion for defenses and delight for fans, until the N.F.L. conformity commissar orders the Panthers to return to some variation on the West Coast offense or else incur a salary-cap penalty. CHICAGO BEARS The offensive line encounters a quarterback that it cannot injure through ineptitude. Unfortunately, they decide to slack off for the rest of the season, and running back Matt Forte is crushed into powder. CINCINNATI BENGALS Andy Dalton refuses to give up his starting job and is remanded to the Carson Palmer Memorial Sensory Deprivation Holding Tank until the Raiders trade for him. CLEVELAND BROWNS The Browns use their two first-round picks to surround Tebow with star running back Trent Richardson and standout receiver Kendall Wright, yet still manage to be boring. DALLAS COWBOYS On the first day of training camp, 500 reporters and cameramen run right past Jerry Jones and surround Tebow. Jones clears his throat and preens, to no avail. Tebow is then mysteriously traded for a seventh-round pick. DENVER BRONCOS Because Tebow is only truly effective in the last two minutes of close games, the Broncos retain him for that purpose: replace Peyton Manning with the score tied, 10-10, make a big play, and set up a field goal. Unfortunately, Manning ensures the fourth-quarter score is more like 27-10, and Tebow languishes on the bench. DETROIT LIONS Ndamukong Suh and Nick Fairley attempt to "Malachi Crunch" Tebow during minicamp, but Tebow elbows both defenders to the ground and scrambles away. Humbled, Suh and Fairley contemplate their overzealous defensive approach and vow to cut down on their penalties. Tebow's post-scramble pass to Calvin Johnson is 5 yards off target. GREEN BAY PACKERS Aaron Rodgers saves his starting job by signing Tim Tebow to his Suspended Sunrise record label. Sgt. Tebow's Lonely Hearts Club Band, a collection of spoken-word Beatles covers, goes triple platinum. Electric Tebowland, which features jazz improvisations inspired by Tebow's unpredictable scrambling, also charts, though Tebow Machine Music alienates some fans. Tebow makes it to Super Bowl XLIX - as the halftime artist. HOUSTON TEXANS Gary Kubiak turns Tebow into a methodical, fundamentally-sound quarterback who hands off, rolls out and completes short passes to crossing receivers. Yeah, that sounds like a lot of fun. INDIANAPOLIS COLTS Jim Irsay finds his religion. It was buried under a pile of guitars and Fairport Convention eight-tracks. JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS In order to maintain their traditional lack of star power, the Jaguars compensate for the Tebow acquisition by releasing Maurice Jones-Drew, erasing all fan memories of Mark Brunell and Jimmy Smith, and replacing the jaguar on their helmets with a bowl of soup. KANSAS CITY CHIEFS "Oh, that does it!" cries an exasperated Brady Quinn. MIAMI DOLPHINS Deal falls through when General Manager Jeff Ireland has second thoughts about whether Tebow would be embraced by fans in Florida. MINNESOTA VIKINGS A new stadium referendum passes with flying colors. The state-of-the-art sports complex is called "The House That Tebow Built" for the next 40 years, much to the chagrin of corporate sponsor WeBuyGoldFillings.com. NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS Bill Belichick acquires Tebow for a third-round pick, assigns offensive coordinator Josh McDaniels to "tutor" him for one year, raves about the results, and trades him away for two first-rounders. Only then do opposing teams learn that "tutor" is Belichick-speak for "lock him in the basement with some sandwiches." NEW ORLEANS SAINTS Sorry, even this will not make us forget the whole bounty thing, guys. GIANTS Having finally found his perfect player, Tom Coughlin hugs Tebow at the introductory news conference for so long that everyone is a little uncomfortable. Then he moves Tebow to defensive end, where he records a dozen sacks. JETS In the spirit of the Jets" new wholesome image, Rex Ryan begins self-censoring his news conferences, which shrink to 11 seconds in length. PHILADELPHIA EAGLES Michael Vick mentors Tebow on how to succeed in the N.F.L. as a left-handed scrambler with poor accuracy and mechanics. Tebow wisely tunes out everything else. PITTSBURGH STEELERS Fly on the wall during first Tebow-Ben Roethlisberger "get to know each other" conversation gains sentience, writes a tell-all memoir of the experience, falls into a deep depression during the talk show circuit, and quietly longs for the days when he just flew around and landed on children's ice cream cones. SAN DIEGO CHARGERS Norv Turner tries to shake his reputation as a poor motivator by composing his own variation on the Tebow Pledge. To the fans and everyone in Chargers Nation, I am sorry. I promise to coach about the same way I always have, and to push the players somewhat. You will not see anyone work harder to remain employed as I will. SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS Jim Harbaugh demands that Tebow prove his toughness by throwing him through a plate glass window. Tebow politely refuses. Harbaugh demands again. Tebow refuses again. This goes on until Week 11 of the regular season. SEATTLE SEAHAWKS Two weeks of sunny days in Seattle after the Tebow signing are perceived as a heavenly sign by some, though skeptics still cite Chone Figgins's slugging percentage as proof of a brutal, meaningless cosmos. LOUIS RAMS The former Cardinals manager Tony La Russa comes out of retirement and reveals the best way to use Tebow, shifting him from quarterback to safety, tight end, and a position La Russa invents called "pinch-fullback." La Russa then re-retires in disgust when he realizes the double switch has no strategic advantage in football. TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS The Buccaneers erase last year's offense and replace it with a custom-tailored option scheme. The transition is not difficult, as last year's offense was scratched in some loose dirt with a twig. TENNESSEE TITANS After offering Peyton Manning a lifetime contract, the owner Bud Adams betrays a tepid interest in Tebow by offering only a lifetime supply of Turtle Wax. WASHINGTON REDSKINS The best thing about having already traded away your next three No. 1 picks and incurred severe salary cap penalties is that it becomes almost impossible to do anything else impetuous and foolish.