Neighbours from hell: researching the enemy next door Most of us may be able to rub along all right with our neighbours most of the time, but when things go wrong, they can go seriously wrong. Some people end up completely demoralised, desperate to move house. Then they find themselves unable to sell because word of their neighbours from hell has spread. Identifying such neighbours in advance is an inexact science. But it is one in which people should not spurn to dabble. I once bought a flat in a pretty tree-lined street in Paddington only to discover, months later, that in the small hours of the morning, it was a popular meeting-place for prostitutes and kerb-crawlers. I should have done my homework properly. Doing that research need not take an eternity: it just calls for common sense and a bit of lateral thinking. In my case, I should have realised that neighbourhoods that look benign in the afternoon can look very different at one o'clock in the morning. So it is worth driving past neighbouring properties at different times. The people who will know your new next-door neighbours best are obviously the vendors. But if their neighbours are the dregs of society, with a history of inconsiderate behaviour, they are not likely to volunteer the fact. Raise the issue with them, politely, and watch their reaction - there could be some clues in their body language. Sellers do have to declare any problems, current or previous, on a Property Information Form, which will be sent to your conveyancer. If they fail to do this and you later discover next door's teenage son is an insomniac drummer, you may be able to bring a case against them for compensation. Some useful titbits of information - such as whether a prospective neighbour has been the subject of an ASBO or noise abatement notice - are already in the public domain. Others you have to dig for. "Go to the nearest public house," Sherlock Holmes advised Dr Watson before sending him on a surveillance mission. That is the centre of country gossip. If the couple living next to the vicarage are foul-mouthed bigots, notorious for starting slanging matches over the garden fence, the landlord of the Dog and Duck is sure to know. Could a private detective be the solution? If you are worried about your prospective neighbours for any reason, and have unresolved questions in your mind, it might not be totally ridiculous to seek professional help. "I can't recall anyone using a private detective in this way," says Eric Shelmerdine, general secretary of the Association of British Investigators. But there are certainly precedents for local councils instituting surveillance operations. They gather evidence on people who have been the subject of repeated complaints from their neighbours. Asking a man in a grubby raincoat to snoop on your prospective neighbours might sound paranoid, not to mention thoroughly un-British. But in an age when more and more people are driven around the bend by their next-door neighbours, it could be a sensible precaution. With neighbours, as in other fields of human activity, forewarned is fore-armed. The Association of British Investigators Want to vet your new neighbours before buying a property? Check out your future neighbours, but don't let them know you're checking them out - that would be fatal. Find a pretext to knock on their door, make small-talk and see if you like the cut of their jib. Peek a look at their garden and look for clues to their personalities there. Some of the most vicious rows between neighbours begin over a garden fence. If someone selling you their home looks shifty when you ask, "And what are the neighbours like?," they are looking shifty for a reason. Don't be shy about cross-examining them. Do your neighbours-to-be own a dog? Check out if it is a rottweiler or a chihuahua. It could make all the difference. Drive past their house at midnight at the weekend. There could be a noisy late-night party, a harbinger of problems ahead. Pay a visit to the nearest pub/cafe and make casual inquiries. There may be some useful nuggets of gossip on the local grape-vine. If there are still alarm bells ringing in your head, consider outsourcing the whole neighbour-vetting task to a private detective. It sounds extreme, but it could be money well spent.