spectator smuggles pig into Gabba Separated at birth?: Chris Tremlett and Jaws. It is 31 years since a pig with the names 'Botham' and 'Eddie' painted on its side was smuggled into the Brisbane Cricket Ground in an esky, after being anaesthetised by a group of vets and having its mouth filled with an apple. It was famously allowed to run onto the surface of the ground during a one-day game that day but the prankster this time around was not as successful. It was unclear whether there were any words, for instance the surname of current public enemy No.1 Stuart Broad, inked on its body, as occurred in the summer of 1982/83 with the names of Ian Botham and Eddie Hemmings featured on the runaway hog. The man was taken to a nearby police station and charged with animal cruelty offences Howard concedes he may be in firing line The pig is escorted from the Gabba. Photo: Twitter: @TripleM_NRL Pat Howard, Australia's high performance chief, admits his job could be on the line if Michael Clarke's team have a poor summer against England. There has been no shortage of speculation about the futures of Cricket Australia chief executive James Sutherland and Howard during Australia's struggles this year, with many claiming they should be held accountable just as head coach Mickey Arthur was when he was sacked in June. CA chairman Wally Edwards raised eyebrows at last month's annual general meeting when he said Sutherland's position would be safe even if Australia lost 5-0 in the Ashes but Howard is aware his high-paying gig could be in jeopardy if events go belly up in the next six weeks. "I think every role is like that," Howard said when interviewed on Channel Nine's The Cricket Show. When you're playing you get picked and dropped, coaches get picked and dropped and that's normal. If you want to be part of sport, if you want to work in sport, it's tough. I think that's a fair enough call. I'm always going to get that sort of conjecture. It's going to be a tight, tough series. Music to Broad's ears The Barmy Army have penned a new song about England's villain/hero (depending on your allegiances) Stuart Broad in time for the paceman's destructive display on the first day of the Ashes. Written by one of their Welsh members, Adam Jones, the song is to the tune of the Welsh regimental march Men Of Harlech, which was featured in the 1964 film Zulu. Judging by Broad's start at the Gabba, it could be a song Australian fans will hear plenty of in the coming weeks. An allegedly offensive heat map. Men of England do not fear we have brought a bowler here who has batsmen far and near shaking to their bones. Michael Clarke stop your dreaming we can see the new ball gleaming. See it swinging see it seaming bring on Stuart Broad. Aussie wickets falling makes them look appalling. Bring on Stuart Broad, you hear the Barmy Army Army Army calling. He has pace and he has power see those Aussie batsmen cower. 99 miles an hour, Richie's rest day Richie Benaud watched day one of the Ashes from his home at Coogee as he continues to recover from his car accident last month. "He sent me a note last night just to wish the commentators and crew and everyone all the best," Nine's director of sport Steve Crawley said. He said he'd be enjoying the cricket, but I'm not sure how much he'd be enjoying it at 5-108. Cold snap It was a typically warm day in Brisbane on Thursday but in the main press box it was like, well, the north of England. Calls for the air-conditioning to be adjusted were unable to be met by ground staff and while anyone without a jacket quickly fled to less chilly surrounds, others such as Mike Selvey from The Guardian came prepared to settle in for the cold. Surface tension Gabba curator Kevin Mitchell jnr must have had heart palpitations when Jimmy Anderson caught his boot in the freshly relaid outfield turf on the first morning of the series. There were flashbacks to Simon Jones wrecking his knee in a sickening fielding accident in Brisbane in 2002, but thankfully Anderson picked himself up and carried on. The Gabba playing surface, with the exception of the centre square, was replaced after the AFL season for the first time since 2000. Dangerous line England's bowling offended more than just the Australian batsmen. Fairfax Media received a complaint on Thursday from a reader unhappy with the heat map, which measures where deliveries are pitched, on our live online coverage of the first Test. Such was the line and length of England's bowlers it created what the reader felt was a phallic image. You be the judge. Quote of the day "Chris Tremlett is big in all departments," Shane Warne, the England bowler's former captain at Hampshire, gives the inside word on the 201-centimetre giant. Quote of the day II David Warner is the Dick Dastardly or possibly Terry-Thomas of cricket. Stylish, wicked but impossible not to admire," Stephen Fry joins the fan club of the Australian opener . . . before things unravelled at the Gabba after lunch. Separated at birth England's touring performance psychologist, Mark Bawden, has described the likes of Alastair Cook, Jonathan Trott and Chris Tremlett as "assassins" in the way they go about their cricket. We're not sure about Cook and Trott but we reckon he's hit the nail on the head with Tremlett, who bears an uncanny resemblance to one of James Bond's most fearsome adversaries. Twitter: @_TheTonk Email: thetonksmh@gmail.com