The Beatles face failure thanks to Ray Connolly "It's sacrilege to say it, but by the time George Martin took them on, a great many people had turned them down," says Connolly, who wrote a biography of John Lennon. The comedy, Sorry, Boys, You Failed the Audition, to be broadcast on Nov 14, revolves around what would have happened if Martin had said "no" when, in the summer of 1962, the boys auditioned for him. My story about how Matthew Freud denied that David Cameron was at his 50th birthday party - only to have an underling confirm his presence at the event the next day - had them guffawing on Have I Got News For You. Rupert Murdoch's son-in-law, whose PR outfit manages the reputations of sober organisations such as the Department of Health, does not enjoy being made a laughing stock. Indeed, Baroness Wheatcroft, when she was my boss, once had her breakfast disrupted by Freud when he telephoned to say that he took exception to being described in this column as "looking like a guppy." A guppy is a freshwater viviparous cyprinodont fish - and it is, unlike Freud, harmless. Oberoi's pride After the terrorist attack on the Oberoi hotel in Mumbai, a guest had tried to pour himself a glass of champagne. "You can't do that," he was told by the barman, who had also survived. The guest replied: "Surely, after all we have been through..?" The barman smiled. "Here," he said, pouring out the Krug. We have to use a champagne glass, never a wine glass. Biki Oberoi, the 83-year-old who built up the eponymous hotel chain in India, has always been a stickler and he would have been pleased about the same attention to detail the hotel displayed for the dinner it hosted for the Prince of Wales over the weekend. "We can never give in to these people," Oberoi told me after the attack five years ago. Sheridan suffers for her art As she begins her final week in Michael Grandage's energetic West End production of A Midsummer Night's Dream, Sheridan Smith would appear to be feeling the strain. The engaging 32-year-old actress had to absent herself from autograph-signing duties over the weekend because she had an appointment with a physio. "I've got Mr Magic Hands here to [help me] between shows," explained Miss Smith, who twisted an ankle last year. David Walliams, her co-star, has, meanwhile, been complaining about his back, which has been playing up since he swam the Thames. Miss Smith says, joshingly, that he never "shuts up" about it, but maintains that she has the sympathy vote.