How do I handle a rude colleague? I feel someone needs to talk to him about professional boundaries. How should I handle this? I have a senior colleague who is good at his job, but so bad with people, I think he may be on the autistic spectrum - as well as being a borderline alcoholic with bad body odour. Recently a new computer system has been installed, which we all find frustrating but he keeps shouting a strong obscenity at the screen. I have tried politely asking him to be quiet, but he said I should go and work in a nunnery if that's how I felt about it. I feel someone needs to talk to him about some professional boundaries, and possibly about the state of his mental health. Associate, female, 28 Lucy's answer The person who appears to be on what you loosely refer to as the "autistic spectrum" is not him, it is you. I'm just trying to picture the scene. This man is sitting in front of his computer, which is stubbornly refusing to do whatever it is he wants it to do. This is an exceptionally aggravating position for anyone to be in. He is responding in a way that is both instinctive and deeply satisfying. When a colleague succumbs to a fit of wild, foul-mouthed computer rage, it is a cue for you to sit back and enjoy it. It is always comic in a slapstick sort of way when people lose it with inanimate objects. Such outbursts are undignified, and allow everyone else to feel agreeably superior for their better mastery either of the new system or of their temper. What it is not a cue is for you to pipe up and ask him to mind his language. When someone who is already incensed and swearing like a trooper gets interrupted by a young woman asking them not to, the natural thing for them to do is to pick up the computer and hurl it at her. The fact that he did not do this but merely commented that your personality might be better suited to a convent than an office, suggests his professional boundaries are in excellent repair. As a result of this ugly little scene, you each think poorly of the other. This is much more of a problem for you than it is for him, as he is above you in the pecking order. He is also generally believed to be good at what he does, while it is not clear if anyone thinks you are good or not. So the first thing I suggest you do is concentrate on not offending him further. If you insist on doing something, try to find out whether your colleagues are offended by his smell and alleged fondness for the bottle too. If so, tell your boss and let him sort it out. In the meantime you could try to get yourself a desk a bit further away, though a better option would be to put up with it. Learning to tolerate colleagues who do not appeal to you is a skill. If you plan on working with other people for the next 40 years or more, it is one better acquired sooner rather than later.