Red, review - Telegraph Dir: Robert Schwentke; Starring: Bruce Willis, Morgan Freeman, John Malkovich, Helen Mirren Has Helen Mirren ever been busier? When she's not voicing malevolent owls (in Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole) or bagging lead male roles in Shakespeare (for Julie Taymor's forthcoming The Tempest), you can catch her at the trigger of a gigantic machine gun in RED, an alleged action-comedy about erstwhile assassins ("Retired, Extremely Dangerous"), which keeps her up its sleeve until late in the day. She looks as if she knows she's doing this comic-book adaptation a favour just by being in it, but then so does just about everybody. Bruce Willis, Morgan Freeman and John Malkovich have done a lot of witless thriller duties in their time, and our best hope from them is an eye-rolling fatigue, as they're dragged out of retirement and regroup to save their hides from a CIA clean-up job. Sadly, as directed by clinical German technician Robert Schwentke, the movie doesn't have a funny bone in its body, clomping from one unoriginal set piece to the next with a head-scratching lack of urgency. Getting Malkovich to scream maniacally as a paranoid surveillance veteran is as thin a joke on his screen persona as Mirren blasting away spooks in a spotless cocktail dress: Schwentke must think his audience is very easily pleased.