WPC Kelly Jones is not fit to wear the same uniform as a proper copper By Richard Littlejohn Kelly Jones has instructed Pattinson Brewer solicitors to take action against a petrol station owner for 'failing to ensure' her safety during a routine break-in investigation When I read the story about a WPC suing a suspected burglary victim for damages, I had to check the date. Surely this was an April Fool's wind-up. As usual, I should have known better. Years of writing about the absurdity of modern policing have taught me there's virtually no limit to the stupidity and opportunism of some coppers. Kelly Jones has instructed Pattinson Brewer solicitors to take action against a petrol station owner for "failing to ensure" her safety during a routine break-in investigation. She claims to be entitled to substantial compensation after allegedly tripping over a kerb and hurting her left leg and right wrist. Her lawyers maintain that the owner had a legal duty to ensure her, you guessed, "health and safety." The three-page letter sent to Steve Jones, proprietor of the Nuns" Bridges Filling Station, at Thetford, Norfolk, is a minor classic of its kind. He is accused, at great length and in ridiculous detail, of failing to provide a "safe passageway"; failing to ensure the kerb was properly lit; failing to display signs "informing the public of the hazard constituted by raised kerbing"; and failure to carry out a risk assessment. All of this puts him "in breach of the Occupier's Liability Act 1957." Mr Jones is informed: "You are vicariously liable for the negligent action (s) of your servant, agent or employee that caused our client to suffer personal injury." Pattinson Brewer is one of those "Blame Direct" law firms which claims on its website; "We have been champions of justice since 1890." They work on a "no-win, no-fee" basis, but this particular claim is being underwritten by the Police Federation. If this action is successful, everyone who calls the police in future could face being sued for damages unless they can prove they have carried out a risk assessment and taken elaborate precautions to warn investigating officers of the potential hazards on their premises. Burglary victims will have to plaster their homes with notices such as: "Danger: Stairs" and "Caution: Radiator may be hot." Nowhere is Britain's debilitating and terrifyingly expensive com-pen-say-shun culture more deeply embedded than in the police. Officers seem to spend half their time suing each other and their employers for everything from alleged racial discrimination to institutional sexism. But this is believed to be the first time a serving officer has sued a member of the public for injuries sustained in answering a 999 call. WPC Jones is an especially appalling example of a breed of so-called public "servant" who, to invert John Fitzgerald Kennedy's famous phrase, asks not what she can do for her country but what her country can do for her. Steve Jones, pictured at the scene of the incident, has been informed: 'You are vicariously liable for the negligent action (s) of your servant, agent or employee that caused our client to suffer personal injury' Off-duty, she's not much of a poster girl for the police. Visibly overweight with unkempt hair, she looks less like a policewoman and more like one of those ferocious female members of the "travelling community" engaged in pitched battles with Plod at illegal camps such as Dale Farm. Norfolk Constabulary says it has no knowledge of this case and WPC Jones is acting in a personal capacity. But what the hell is the Police Federation doing backing the claim and exposing itself to ridicule? Mind you, the Federation has an "ambulance chasing" guide on its website which boasts of having won more than £42 million in compensation for police officers in just the past two years. WPC Jones, pictured on Saturday, is an especially appalling example of a breed of so-called public 'servant' Please, please, don't think this is just another excuse to bash the Old Bill. There are going to be plenty of serving and ex-officers who will be throwing their heads in their hands when they read about the grasping WPC Jones. A couple of years ago, I had the honour of delivering the after-dinner speech at the annual jolly-up of the Metropolitan Police Retired CID Officers" Association. I was merely the support act for Mrs Thatcher, who was there as guest of honour to present bravery medals to three young officers. More from Richard Littlejohn... Sergeant Stephen Hayter and Constables Michael Carroll and Richard Cousins risked their lives to tackle and disarm two gunmen in North London, even though they themselves were unarmed. What must they make of this chancer bringing their profession into disrepute? WPC Jones isn't fit to wear the same uniform as proper coppers who put their lives on the line to protect the public. Heroism when demanded is part of the job description. That, and an admirable sense of duty, is why a lot of young men and women join up in the first place. They don't become police officers to fill their boots by suing burglary victims because they've tripped on a step. This type of litigious behaviour was inspired by the Health and Safety Executive which prosecuted two former Met Commissioners after a copper fell to his death chasing a suspect across a roof. The action failed, mercifully, but I can remember the former Met boss John Stevens - aka Captain Beaujolais - telling me that if it had succeeded the job of policing would be nigh-on impossible. Elsewhere yesterday there was another police story which also seemed to be an April Fool spoof. Barnet Police, in North London, have sent more than 300 bouquets of flowers to robbery and burglary victims, at a cost of £25 a pop, to "soften the blow." Needless to say, most of the recipients are unimpressed. They just want the burglars nicked. Burglary detection rates in Barnet are as low as 12 per cent. On Friday, the front page of the local Barnet paper was dominated by reports of protests against the closure of two police stations in the borough. Maybe they're being handed over to Interflora. I do hope the bouquets were properly labelled "Danger: May Cause Asthma." When the fragile WPC Jones has finished suing the garage owner perhaps she should apply for a less hazardous job in a florist's. She's clearly not cut out to be a copper.