Don't listen to Mick Malthouse, this is personal Former Collingwood head coach Mick Malthouse with Nathan Buckley. IT has been billed as the biggest clash of estranged friends since Ron Barassi first led the Blues against Melbourne in the mid-1960s. But Mick Malthouse and Nathan Buckley have kept their powder as dry as their public statements in a low-key lead-up to the classic at the MCG tomorrow. The week has been so bereft of fighting talk the pair's handshake on Thursday was the most analysed since Mark Latham tried to rip John Howard's arm off. After some noises early in the week about how Malthouse's family was bitter at his usurping, the sole flutter of controversy centred on Buckley's faux pas in saying Malthouse was the coach of Collingwood. It has been the most bogus of phony wars, belying the two-year build-up that began with Eddie McGuire's supercharged succession plan. Of course, the Barassi defection has been held up in comparison, but this is different to that seismic ruction. Malthouse is no apostate; in many eyes he sits on the high moral ground after being dethroned for a favourite son. So there has been little of the vilification spat at Barassi more than 40 years ago. Back then, wrote The Weekend Australian's Peter Lalor in his Barassi biography, "children cried, lifelong grudges were engendered and mothers unpicked the No 31 from red and blue jumpers." "People didn't know how to react," Lalor wrote. In one famous letter to a newspaper, a couple from Mt Waverley asked how they could change the name of their retriever from Ron Barassi without upsetting the dog. Barassi and Len Smith back then were so big they dwarfed all others. They were Melbourne. When Malthouse left at the end of 2011 Collingwood was Malthouse, Dane Swan, Scott Pendlebury, Dale Thomas, Nick Maxwell, Travis Cloke ... Buckley himself. Which was the reason for McGuire's wrenching decision. As a champion of the game and an astute assistant coach, Buckley delighted both the Magpie purists and marketing division in one chiselled package. Besides his slip of the tongue, Buckley seemed unfazed by all the fuss this week. Any differences between he and Malthouse were blown out of proportion, he said. As for Malthouse, he said tomorrow's grand occasion was about the players. "I would curse and cuss if I had a player saying 'this was about me'," Malthouse said. And this is not about me. It's Collingwood versus Carlton. Not that Collingwood v Carlton needs extra spice. It remains the biggest rivalry in Victorian football; enduring in the national competition as the Port Adelaide/Norwood and East and South Fremantle enmities are left to eke an existence in the minor leagues. Norwood and Port Adelaide are about the only two South Australian clubs Neil Kerley has not coached. So if anyone knows what Malthouse will be feeling when he strides on to the MCG tomorrow, it is the 1997 Australian Hall of Fame inductee who coached four premiership sides at five clubs. Ted Whitten's old sparring partner told The Weekend Australian that Malthouse's steely countenance belied the emotions that were swirling under the surface. "Mick left in not a good way," Kerley said. He's shitty. I know he's shitty. So he'll be really determined to win. He's got an axe to grind. He feels as though Eddie and Collingwood have let him down. Eddie wanted to have Buckley at all costs to start a new era. If he wins, he'll say to himself under his breath as he's walking off the MCG - and he won't repeat it to anyone else - 'stick it up ya, ya bastards'. Yes, Kerley knows something of Malthouse's situation. King Kerley (Knuckles to his friends) was shown the door at West Adelaide in the early 1960s a year after captain-coaching the Bloods to a premiership and a losing grand final in successive seasons. He went to South Adelaide where, powered by lustful revenge and plenty of "fire in the belly," he took the Panthers from bottom to top in a season. "It really got my back up," Kerley said of his sacking. It really made me determined to beat the bastards, which I did in the first game of the year. The lesson was well learned. Kerley was never beaten the first time he coached against his immediate past club. You always know that when you're coaching against an old club they're going to be after you. Kerley raises a fascinating, little-broached point: Collingwood will be gunning for Malthouse as much as he is coming to get the Pies. "Knowing the professional that he is, he'll be making a lot of demands on his players," Kerley said. But you've got to make those demands not from a selfish point of view. It's got to be for the team. Not for him, for the team. Note the similarity between Kerley's and Malthouse's statements above. Too late to change your tips? "When Mick walks into those change rooms he'll have butterflies," Kerley said. He'll be more uptight than any other minor-round game. More uptight than any game other than a grand final. It should be a beauty.