Crystal Palace winning promotion to the Premier League did not require a deafening Florence Welch soundtrack Admittedly the uninvited intrusions of Florence, Calvin and nearly-forgotten Welsh power trios do not entirely ruin these moments of delight. But believe it or not, if the overworked PA system was allowed to rest, there is a very good chance that several thousand extremely happy fans could create an atmosphere by themselves. So why are football's party-planners so reliant on very loud music, the "bangers" beloved by hurried half-time action montages, depressing corporate awards ceremonies and nightspots that offer outstanding value for bulk purchases of Jägermeister? They are the soundtrack to the least adventurous but increasingly prevalent swathes of our entertainment omniculture, which must reach for a familiar playlist lest it seem unclear that this is the moment at which you have a good time. If you're a Normal Person, you understand that when Florence sings "Say my naaaaay-haaaay-haaaimmm!" it is time to party. Never mind if you don't really understand what the apparently-now-a-verb "party" means, exactly. The use of these songs at celebratory moments in football speaks of sponsors" desire to invade and own the peak of footballing joy. Gazprom, Heineken and Sony want you to hear the tune which has accompanied their logos since August. The FA Cup with Budweiser has a rich two-year tradition to celebrate, and vibrant brand values which must be upheld. Npower would probably rather be associated with rote David Guetta keyboards than Palace fans singing a rude song about the time Alan Mullery went to visit the Pope. The soundtrack places football safely within the entertainment industry, as another product to be consumed. Probably most pertinently, fans" songs sound incredible inside stadiums but are often indistinct on telly. There's no mistaking a 10,000,000 decibel Florence barking "Say my naaaaay-haaaay-haaaimmm!" What's confusing is why those in charge of marketing football are overlooking its most attractive assets. Companies, brands, and events would pay millions to flashmob organisers and hashtag manipulators to generate the sort of atmosphere and camaraderie that envelops a major football match. The insecure addition of irrelevant music to an event that comes packaged with its own unique noises betrays a scandalous lack of understanding of what makes football fantastic. Let's rise up against deafening music after and immediately before football matches. Let's stamp out this nasty, nefarious scourge on our game. The single-issue pressure group starts here. Who knows, maybe once our initial aim has been accomplished we can march on to eliminate post-goal music too?