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I lie about how long it took to write my novel. Twenty years, I tell people. Sometimes I say fifteen. If I could get away with it, I'd claim it took five years, which is how long I think writing a novel should take. But there are notebooks on my desk from 1986 with long passages that appear, almost word for word, in the version that was published in 2011. So yeah, it took a while, and I can tie myself up in knots trying to explain why.
First off, there is that part of me that has never believed in the concept of time. As in, marching on. As a result, by conventional standards, I've done many things late. I started writing at age 30, got married at 36, started a family at 39.
None of this felt late to me, you understand. It felt perfectly right. Occasionally, now, the distant trombones and snare drums of time's marching band come drifting my way on the wind, and I'll stop, a little surprised, and ask myself, what the hell is that? And the consequences of spending so long on a single book will hit me. Worse, on certain bad nights, an accusing question floats just below the bedroom ceiling: Why did it take you so freaking long?
Here's what I know, or will admit to. At 31, I had a decent job and enough money to make a down payment on a house in Seattle. It was the early eighties; the Reagan-era vibe was all about living large, Madonna was proud to be a "Material Girl." Ignoring all that, I quit my job and spent every cent I had trying to write my novel—a story about hopping freights and falling in love in Northern Michigan. Three years later the money was gone and the book wasn't done. So I maxed out a credit card and kept going, then got a second card and maxed that out. And I still had nothing.
People didn't go to MFA programs back then, or if they did I didn't know about them. I was on my own. My girlfriend had left me. Usually, I'd sleep all day and stay up all night writing. Musically, the grunge scene was exploding in Seattle. Soundgarden. Nirvana. Sub Pop. I missed it all. I was working on a book that no one believed in but me.
One night, I wrote a long depressed letter to a friend about what I was doing. I was 34 at the time. My friend saved the letter and gave it back two decades later. When I read it, the person I used to be reminded me how it felt, "now that the money is completely gone, now that I've spent three years out here alone and have five hundred pages of first draft, full of mistakes, now that most of the people I know are 'moving on' with homes and kids and promotions, etc., when I could have that too if only I'd 'apply myself,' or whatever…[but instead] it seems like I'm farther away than ever from the safety of the business world and a long way from making it as a writer."
What kept me going in those early days? In part, the Detroit Tigers. Seriously. Picture this: The 1984 Tigers started their season with 19 wins and one loss. Imagine that playing out, one day at a time. Later they were 35-5. It was the best start in the history of baseball. History. Of. Baseball. Imagine me, 30-something and deluded, thinking that meant something. Eventually the Tigers won the World Series wire to wire, meaning they never trailed in the standings from opening day to the final out of the series.
Honest to god, it seemed like a signal to me. It meant so much I decided to name my book Wire to Wire—even though there's absolutely nothing about baseball or the Tigers in the story. I needed to come up with my own meaning for that phrase, and I had no idea what that would be when I typed it at the top of my manuscript. But what seemed like a challenge later turned out to be a gift.
* * *
Seven or eight years later, I did something I knew was wrong. My novel is set in Northern Michigan, where I spent many summers, crashing in a friend's remote cabin, gathering material. Back in the eighties and nineties, if you hung around the Leelanau peninsula much, you'd eventually run into Jim Harrison. I'd seen him at the Bluebird and sat next to him one night at the Sugarfoot Saloon. I didn't want to be the guy who says, "Hey, I'm a writer too," so instead, I asked him to pass the mustard. And he did, thus proving his approachability. So when I thought my book was finally done, I put it in an envelope and contrived to get it in his mailbox, knowing I was violating some fundamental rule.
Harrison knew it too, and said so in the short note he sent back. But he had "glanced" at my manuscript and liked it enough to pass it along to his agent. His note ended with a line that remains a catchphrase in our house: "More than this I cannot do." It's the most elegant version of "Now buzz off, kid" I've ever heard.
It was 1992 and Harrison's encouragement had me ready to quit my day job. But after hope came disappointment. His agent wasn't interested and neither was anyone else. For the next 15 years, the question hovering near the bedroom ceiling was Why in God's name didn't you buy that house in Seattle? Imagine what it would be worth by now.
My line of defense against this self-torment was the voice of my first writing teacher, the author Jack Cady, who said this when I was 30 years old: "Have respect for your own madness. It is not wrong to be strong. It is not wrong to believe in yourself." And also this: "The difference between those who succeed and those who don't isn't talent. It's tenacity."
A few years later I heard Richard Ford say that it isn't necessary to be a writer to live a good and purposeful life. You could write for a while, then lay that burden down. It was a true, and humane, thing to say. If I'd heard Ford before I heard Cady, things might have been different. But Cady got there first. The word that stuck was tenacity.
If that formed the heart of my belief, Robert Stone provided the spine. His character, Rheinhardt, spoke to me from a passage in A Hall of Mirrors. In it, Rheinhardt, an alcoholic, berates himself for the musical talent he has wasted:
"And that part inside you, that beautiful musical part that you are fond of regarding as a series of taut and polished springs is not that at all, but a thick and highly perishable stuff like cream which, when allowed to settle because you have not the energy and manhood to wrangle it, turns into a deadly and poisonous bile of which one rightly and subsequently dies."
The energy and the manhood to wrangle it versus the deadly and poisonous bile: The stakes were pretty damn clear. Over and over I returned to that passage. On the days and nights when I hated my manuscript and hated my inability to finish, those words kept me going. I couldn't quit. I didn't want to be Rheinhardt.
* * *
Finally, having moved to Portland, I fell in with a group of writers called The Pinewood Table, led by Stevan Allred and Joanna Rose, who helped me understand the way stories operate and showed me how to finish. It turns out part of the answer to why it took so long is this: You wander around in the woods until you meet the people who lead you out of it. For me, there was no other way.
And so I published a book in my 50s, not my 30s. There are disadvantages to that, certainly. My writing style is different from when I started—maybe not better, but different. During final editing the younger me spent a long time fighting with the older me. Those were interesting and sometimes painful arguments.
Then there was the night during Book Expo when I stood on the doorstep of a café in SoHo and stopped. From the sidewalk, I saw the young people inside and realized there was no way I was going to that party. I turned around, walked a few blocks to a bench, and called my wife instead.
But there are advantages, too. I was single when I started the book. Now, I'm a dad. Last summer, I put in 2,500 miles crisscrossing Michigan, the land where I grew up, accompanied by my eighteen-year-old son. Old guy, young guy, rental car, Michigan. It doesn't get any better than that.
For a couple nights, we stayed in the cabin where I used to crash when I was first imagining Wire to Wire. On a rough-hewn shelf near the rafters, there's a manuscript box with the 1989 version of the book. It lives there. We got it out one night and looked it over.
It's not as bad as I remember. But it's not me. It doesn't match the failings and successes of my life, or the beliefs that have taken a while to form, the way the published version does.
Wire to Wire, circa 2011, fits me like a skin. That was never true of the earlier drafts. So in the end, maybe Orwell's famous line about appearances—at 50, everyone has the face he deserves—applies to novels as well.
It feels good, these days, to know it's finally done. But when people compliment me for my stick-to-it-iveness, I feel sheepish about taking any credit. Of course I kept going—I didn't have a choice. There was no other way out.
Scott Sparling's first novel, Wire to Wire, is about love, glue, drugs, and freight trains in Northern Michigan and New York. It was published by Tin House Books in 2011 and won a Michigan Notable Book Award in 2012. His writing has appeared on OccupyWriters.com and Powells.com. He lives near the tracks outside Portland, Oregon.


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At the end of The Sting, ace con-man Harry Gondorff is explaining how times have changed in Chicago, and not for the better. "Chicago was a rigged town then," he tells protege Johnny Hooker. "And it really stunk, kid. There's no point in being a grifter if it's the same as being a citizen."
And then we have Michelle Rhee.
She's on a book tour now,shining up her own martyrdomand driving nails through her own palms, and claiming (as always) that it is her devotion to "the kids" that has made her rich. Beset by lazy, uncooperative public-school teachers, she stands alone, a "radical," interested only in bringing reform to America's classrooms. And, of course, doing it all in a "bipartisan" way.
"It's interesting to me the fact that a lot of people are trying to choose one or two of the people who support us and cast us as a conservative, right-wing organization," Rhee, a Democrat, said at POLITICO's Breakfast Club in Washington. She said that while she lists prominent Republicans such as New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie and Nevada Gov. Brian Sandoval as supporters of her education advocacy group StudentsFirst, there are big-name Democrats who support her endeavors, too. "Guess what, so does [Chicago Mayor] Rahm Emanuel, [Los Angeles Mayor] Antonio Villaraigosa ... as well as other prominent Democrats," she said. "This is actually the cool thing about what we're doing - this is bipartisan."
The $500,000 donation went to Citizens Protecting Michigan's Constitution, which is supported by business and community organizations, as well as school groups including the Michigan Association of School Boards and the Michigan Association of School Administrators. Proposal 2 is supported by a coalition of unions and Democrats that collected more than $8 million, according to a July campaign finance report. And updated report is due this week.
Michelle Rhee doesn't like unions. Period. This is because the various corporate interests that have bankrolled her entire public career actively hate unions. So she and her organization laundered half-a-million bucks into an election to defeat a law aimed at reversing the extremist anti-union agenda of a truly radical governor and state legislature. Suddenly, Rhee's concern for "the kids" required her to line up against the legitimate economic interests of every worker in Michigan, schoolteacher or not. That is not a very bipartisan thing to do.
But the kitty really comes screeching out of the burlap later on in her visit with Tiger Beat On The Potomac.
Rhee also said that teachers and parents should stop rewarding students for mediocrity. "I think that we are doing the wrong thing in our society when we are congratulating mediocrity and participation," she said. She said her own two daughters, ages 10 and 14, play soccer and have a collection of "trophies, medals, ribbons and plaques of all kinds." "They suck at soccer," she deadpanned. "[But] if you came from another country or another planet, and you walked into my house, you would think, 'Michelle Rhee is raising the next [retired soccer superstar] Mia Hamm.'" She continued: "I try to tell my kids, 'You're not so good at soccer. If you want to become good, you've got to work hard,'" she said. "When we hand that plaque to every single kid just for participating on the team, I think we are creating a generation of Americans who don't understand that greatness is possible, but you have to work for it. I feel like that is the American spirit."
First of all, way to play your own kids for a cheap punchline in a room full of strangers. You stay classy, Michelle. Second, Jesus H. Christ on the bench at Old Trafford, do we really have to listen to more guff about participation trophies and their hollowing out of the American character again? This is wingnut talk-radio crapola of the first order. What Rhee's talking about has been happening on the country's rec league playing fields for over 20 years now. Does that generation seem mediocre to you? The generation that got sent off to war in Iraq and Afghanistan? And, not for nothing, but American soccer -- particularly women's soccer -- has improved by several orders of magnitude. The fact is that Michelle Rhee doesn't like American parents -- especially the ones who can't soak billionnaires into bankrolling their personal ego trips -- any more than she likes teachers, or their unions. She standing up for "the kids" even against those people who are working two jobs trying to raise them. If there's a bigger and more arrogant faker on the public scene, the floor's open for nominations.
Charles P Pierce is the author of four books, most recently Idiot America, and has been a working journalist since 1976. He lives near Boston and has three children.

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Turbulence was developed in part during a residency at Regards et Mouvements in Pontempeyrat, France. Circo Zero – Turbulence from celavie on Vimeo.
September 26, 2012
August 30, 2012
Keith's director's notes for Turbulence…..for now: Naomi Klein's The Shock Doctrine revealed how many of us have prioritized human rights issues (and identity politics) at the expense of economic injustice and more lasting structural change. I set out, over two years ago, to challenge my own ignorance about financialization, about the roots of economic turbulence, […]
August 24, 2012
way way way back in APRIL (!!!!!!!!), Emily Leap and I sat down and wrote a letter to the three people who would later be our Portland guest artists for the June Residency and the TBA premiere that's happening in 2 weeks. We wanted to give them some kind of something that would let them […]
August 24, 2012
So, in Portland this past June, alot happened. One of our Portland guest artists, Roya Amirsoleymani, who also coordinated the symposium "Bodies, Identities and Alternative Economies" reflects here: Turbulent Thoughts and also, I (Jesse) wrote some…err…colorful reflections about the experiences of being there: The Odd Sensation of Luxury
August 24, 2012
So SF misses Angela Mattox, yes. But she's doing kick-ass work making PICA (and by extension, the Portland arts community) richer and better. She also has been in dialogue with us about Turbulence almost since the beginning of it really picking up steam. Here's a little ditty that was an interview in Portland Mothly, about […]
August 24, 2012
So…Turbulence has become – among things – the accumulation of conversations, dreams, arguments, and ideas of not just Keith and the core collaborators, but also those of our friends and colleagues. When folks come to look at what we're making, discourse explodes. We wanted to share some of that with ya'll. Here's a conversation between SF […]


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I wrote this years ago for Halloween and I keep recycling it every year. This post also gets more views (from all over the world) than anything else I've ever written. I did quite a bit of research for this piece. I wish I had listed my sources at the time. Be assured that this story is as accurate as any you'll find about the Benders. ~ sekanblogger
The old Bender property is haunted. A mere decade after the gruesome killings, nothing was left of the cabin and outbuildings on the property, the only thing that remained — an empty hole that had once been the cellar, has long been filled in. From these depths come the souls of those murdered on the site, wandering about the property and making moaning sounds that can be heard by any passersby. Of those most often reporting seeing glowing apparitions on the property are those who come to the site in search of some long lost souvenir of the grisly murders. Quickly, the scavengers are frightened away by the dead souls to spread their ghostly tales.
As the legend of the haunting continues, people say that Kate Bender, herself, returns to the property, doomed to roam the land where she had committed so many atrocities. Whether folklore or fact, many believe that the trapped souls of these century-old ghosts continue to lurk at the site today, looking for the cabin, well, and shallow graves they were left in. Of those who were mistaken for the Bender family, and murdered by vigilantes, they continue to roam Southeast Kansas, seeking revenge! The old Bender property is approximately 10 miles west of Parsons Kansas.
Through the Treaty of 1870, the Federal Government moved the Osage Indian tribe out of the state of Kansas completely and finally. The Osage defense of the best of their territory had become impossible, due to a flood of European immigrants. Prior to 1870, the immigrants were entirely illegal, but the State refused to accept that fact, while the Federal Government simply turned a blind eye. The Osage had been promised the land, literally "As long as the wind blows and the grass grows." This was the actual wording in one of the treaties. However, the Osage saw the future, and had capitulated long before 1870, in heart and mind, if not in writing. One well used Osage trail led from Ft. Scott Kansas, to Independence Kansas. It was mid-point along this stretch of trail, near a mound that still bears the name "Bender's Mound", that our sordid story ensues.
At about the same time, and just a few miles from the now famous Ingalls family (Little House On The Prarie), a family of Germans, consisting of four persons – a man, his wife, son and daughter – moved into southeast Kansas, at Osage township. The man was known as William or John Bender, the son and daughter as John Jr. and Kate. In reality, none of them were named Bender, and the woman and daughter were the only ones actually related. Continue reading


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Posts Tagged plotting
Repost: Nail NaNoWriMo! A routine to help you finish
Posted by Roz Morris @Roz_Morris in Writer basics 101 on November 6, 2009
As NaNoWriMo gets under way, how are you doing?
Are you finding NaNoWriMo easier than you thought it would be, or harder?
I've never done NaNoWriMo because other projects have got in the way, but I have had to write several novels to tight deadlines – 50,000 words in two months, finished and ready for a publisher to see. It was effectively two NaNoWriMos back to back, which I did several times. I had detailed synopses, but I had to just get my head down and pound out the words. It taught me a thing or two about keeping myself at the keyboard.
Here are my top seven tips.
1. Are you getting into the scenes enough? If you've written a synopsis, you'll have summarised everything. The first draft is where you turn it into living, breathing scenes. That's how you meet the wordcount, because it takes a lot more words to write a scene blow by blow than it does to say 'Vanessa confronts the woman who betrayed her'. In your NaNo draft, DO NOT summarise anything. Show, not tell. Try writing to music – it can help you immerse yourself. If scented candles do it for you, give yourself a Proustian boost!
2. Are you worried about the quality of what you're writing? Don't be. NaNoWriMo is about inventing. Editing is not allowed until the month starts with a D but you might be better leaving it until J is involved. You can't edit as you invent, your brain doesn't work that wayand you'll never make the wordcount if you stop to fret over what you've written. So let the scenes unfold in your head, write down what's happening and to hell with how it reads.
3. Are you getting stuck in your story? Use reincorporation. Find a thing or a character you put in the story before and work it back in to solve your problem. This is the single most useful way to solve a story problem.
4. Are you giving yourself enough credit? Make yourself visual awards. Find a way to visually represent how far you've got – a thermometer with coloured bars, a graph climbing slowly skywards, or any combination of these. Put them up in your work area. Yes this is just like in infants' school where the teacher puts up rows of stars. We are primitive at heart. Reward your inner child for writing so much.
5. How NaNo is your environment? Theme your writing area. If you've made an ideas scrapbook for your novel, put up pictures and make the edges of your monitor or your desk into a mood board. Change them regularly to keep your interest and sense of immersion, or to kick-start your writing for the day. In December, tinsel and stuff helps you feel Christmassy; in November, decorate for NaNoWriMo.
6. Will you be derailed if you miss a day or fall behind? Everybody falls behind a little, because we all have lives to live as well as books to write. A sudden birthday or crisis need not derail your NaNo plan. Make sure your writing plan includes some slack so you can steal back time if you need to. If it doesn't, rewrite it NOW, while you still have plenty of room for manoeuvre.
7. Remember NaNoWriMo is an experiment. You are experimenting with your muse and your writing habits by setting yourself a challenge – and a difficult one. Experiments don't fail or pass; they produce what they produce. Some of it will be nonsense, and some will be sublime invention. This is why it's a good thing to do, despite what its critics will say. Stay the distance and see what happens. Enjoy the journey and the surprises. That's what it's all about.
If you're doing NaNoWriMo this year, how's it going? Post up a link in the comments to let us all cheer you on! If you're a past WriMo, what advice would you give to this year's runners?
You can find tips for researching, outlining and what makes a robust story in my book, Nail Your Novel – Why Writers Abandon Books and How You Can Draft, Fix and Finish With Confidence.


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Account Reset Terror
Email subjects on emails from the end of last week:
- "Etsy Security Notice"
- "Your IMDb password has been changed"
- WordPress.com News "Gmail Password Leak Update".
I expect more emails like this over the next week. Only the last one — the blog post from my former employer Automattic — reflects a company taking appropriate steps:
We checked the accounts of 600,000 other WordPress.com users whose email addresses were included in the list. Since these users were not immediately vulnerable, we did not reset their passwords or send emails but will be enabling a notification in their dashboards so that they can assess the security of their passwords at their leisure and with all of this information in hand.
It is frightening that "over 100,000 accounts for which the password given in the list matched the WordPress.com password". That is over 14% of the gmail address that matched. Still I'm not sure that justifies the other service provider wholesale resetting all the gmail addresses that match.
I have accounts on a large number of services. It feels like I'm now regularly getting more required password reset emails and "If you didn't make this request, it's likely that another user has entered your email address by mistake and your account is still secure."
Are IMDB and Etsy's approaches good? Does it help customers?
Are real solutions to today's authentication challenges on the horizon?


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Dear Barely Supermommy readers..
I would like to introduce to you, our latest addition in the family,
Sophea Natasha bt Sheikh Muszaphar.
We had a photoshoot session earlier today at our home done by Azmir Khalid. He does a lot of photoshoot for infant and babies.
He took beautiful pictures of Bella when Bella was a newborn.
And now it's Tasha's turn 🙂
Our first family photo 🙂
Glad to share with all of you!!
Much love.. X


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When talking about users authentication in Rails land there is one name that generally stands above all the other available gems. This name is Devise.
I would not be so wrong to call it the de facto standard of Rails authentication considering the time has been around and the vast documentation it has under its belt.
Regarding for example the OAuth2 functionality there is a well documented page inside the wiki that describes how to implement it for Facebook.
Unfortunately what presented inside the documentation doesn't always blend well with the other functionalities of an application.
Continue reading "Devise Facebook Omniauth login with connect and disconnect functionality"


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Roberts: It's time for Obama to start governing
President Obama keeps traveling the country to promote the highlights of his legislative agenda — tighter controls on weapons, clearer pathways for illegal immigrants, higher taxes on the wealthy. And Republicans keep getting more frustrated.
"This is not time for a road-show president," fulminated Rep. Kevin McCarthy of California, the House Republican whip. Added Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal, "I think he's trying to scare the American people."
They're so upset because Obama's strategy is so effective. When USA Today asked voters whom they would blame for the "sequester," $85 billion in automatic budget cuts that are about to start biting, 49 percent said congressional Republicans and 31 percent said the president. The larger picture is even grimmer for the GOP. The Pew Research Center reports that only one in three Americans has a favorable view of the Republican Party, one of the lowest ratings in nearly two decades.
There's nothing new about the president's strategy. During the Clinton years, political scientist Charles O. Jones coined the phrase "campaigning to govern," which described a president using campaign tactics to push legislative goals. By traveling the country, a president could generate public support for his agenda and apply heat to lawmakers back on Capitol Hill.
During the early 1980s, Ronald Reagan took a similar approach. Back then, the Washington power balance was a mirror image of what it is today: a popular Republican president facing a Democratic House. We were covering Congress, and Democratic Speaker Tip O'Neill often told us that he could not stand up to Reagan's persuasiveness and popularity. With the help of Southern Democratic defectors, Reagan enacted big chunks of his agenda, including sharp tax cuts.
As Reagan proved then, and as Obama is trying to emulate today, the power to shape public opinion is probably a president's single biggest asset. Karl Rove, the Republican strategist, made that point in a Wall Street Journal article in which he urged party leaders to stand up to Obama. But, warned Rove, "It won't be easy, given the president's intrinsic advantages and bigger megaphone."
Obama made a similar argument, and foreshadowed his current "road show," in a telling interview earlier this year with The New Republic. Asked what he had learned from history, the president replied: "I always read a lot of Lincoln, and I'm reminded of his adage that with public opinion, there's nothing you can't accomplish; without it, you're not going to get very far. And spending a lot of time in terms of being in a conversation with the American people as opposed to just playing an insider game here in Washington is an example of the kinds of change in orientation that I think we've undergone, not just me personally, but the entire White House."
The president's "intrinsic advantages" were on display when he visited the shipbuilding center of Newport News, Va., to warn Americans that budget cuts are "a self-inflicted wound" that would impair military readiness and cost jobs. He then surrounded himself with steely-eyed first responders and delivered a similar message: You might not like Washington or bureaucrats or red tape, but government still does good things that keep you and your family safe. If those services are degraded, blame the Republicans.
Even a "bigger megaphone" does not guarantee a president's success, however. After the 1982 election, when Republicans lost 26 House seats, Reagan was forced to compromise more often. Today, Obama faces a House dominated by conservative Republicans who come from safe districts and are largely immune from the kind of pressure the president is trying to stimulate.
Moreover, Obama is president; it's his watch. If the fiscal standoff continues, if the budget cuts derail the economy, if the markets sputter, if unemployment rises and growth slows, then it's his legacy that is jeopardized. Having the biggest megaphone in your hand also means having the biggest target on your back.
That's why the president has to get serious about advancing entitlement reforms that could entice Republicans into a larger bargain on spending and tax policy. He talked in The New Republic about his willingness "to buck the more absolutist-wing elements in our party to get stuff done," but all he's done so far is make vague references to "modest" changes in Social Security and Medicare.
He has to do more than that. He has to lead. The president has proved that he's really good at the campaigning part of "campaigning to govern." Now that he's won re-election, it's time for the governing part.
Cokie and Steven Roberts are political commentators and journalists — she for National Public Radio and ABC News, he for U.S. News & World Report — and have been married for more than 40 years. They can be reached at email@example.com


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Enter your question in sentence form (e.g., How do I contact Simplii Financial?).
Don't include any confidential information, such as card or account numbers.
To request a balance transfer, or to learn more about this service, give us a call at 1-888-723-8881.
Keep 3 things in mind before you transfer a balance:
• Your Simplii credit card account must be in good standing
• Your regular interest rate applies to this transfer
• The balance transfer can't be more than your available credit and cash


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Many of us have a love-hate relationship with the telecommunication companies we use. We love all the cool things we can do with wireless phone and broadband Internet technology. But we're not always satisfied with the service we get for our money.
Many unhappy customers contact the . The agency gets more than a million complaints each year about telecommunications companies. I recently spoke with Joel Gurin, chief of the FCC's Consumer and Governmental Affairs Bureau. Here is an edited version of our conversation.
Q: and you found that about one in six customers, that would be about 30 million people, have experienced what you call "bill shock." This is when your monthly wireless bill dramatically jumps in price – sometimes by hundreds of dollars – without warning. What causes bill shock?
A: It can be caused by a lot of things. One consumer said their bill tripled in a month because they had been charged with mobile-to-mobile minutes that they had been told were free. Someone else got $500 worth of charges from unknown numbers. Somebody else thought that rollover minutes were going to carry from one plan to another and they didn't. International roaming is an area that can rack up very high bills very quickly.
Q: I know the commission wants to deal with this. You recently asked for that's used in Europe to avoid bill shock. Can you explain what they do over there?
A: The European Union requires wireless carriers to give people notice when they are in danger of getting an unusual charge on their bill. The carrier must send a text or voice message to that wireless phone. It's a very simple way to alert people that they may be getting into dangerous territory.
If you got a notice that said you are now at 80 percent of your plan minutes and here's how many you have left before you have excess charges, you could do a number of things. You could simply cut down on your data or text usage or you might call your carrier and decide to go to a higher level plan.
Q: How is it working in Europe?
A: I think it's going quite smoothly there. It has not been a big technical problem for the carriers.
Q: So you're not suggesting any kind of limits on charges; you're just want people to know when they're about to get hit with unexpected charges or fees?
A: Correct. It's all about letting customers know what's going on. Communication services are complicated. A lot of the fee structures are complicated. And when people feel that they don't understand what's going on they are vulnerable to paying more than they should. So I think this kind of simple, transparent notification of what's going on is good for both business and consumers.
Q: I'm sure you are going to hear from the industry. How important is it that you hear from the public?
A: We're very eager to hear what people have to say. gives details on how anyone can comment. The deadline is July 6.
Q: The FCC also deals with consumer fraud. One deceptive practice that just won't go away is called cramming. That's when a third party puts a charge on your phone bill for a product or service you did not order. How does it happen?
Dishonest companies have all kinds of devious technical ways to ring up a charge on your bill for a service you may not want.
Cramming is on the increase right now. So we're looking at that very seriously. These cramming charges can be small but they add up. They might just be a couple of dollars, but if a company is doing that over and over again to a lot of people, it's a lot of money for them. And even if it's only a few dollars, it's money you shouldn't have to pay.
Q: How do we protect ourselves?
A: The best protection here is really vigilance. Read your phone bill very carefully. See if there's a charge on there that shouldn't be. If so, contact that company. If they will not remove the disputed charged, check with your phone company to see if your service will be cancelled if you don't pay that portion of the bill. And complain to the FCC. We are monitoring this very carefully and working on ways to deal with the problem.
Q: Let's look at another consumer gripe – early termination fees. They discourage you from switching to the competition if you get poor service. Can the commission do anything about this?
A: There is no uniform way in which different carriers implement these early termination fees. Some pro-rate them over a period of time while others pro-rate them very slowly until the end of your contract. Some wireless companies say they are there to pay for the discount you get on the phone; others say that they are there for some other reason.
It really is difficult for consumers to understand what these fees are about and how they're going to impact them when they compare carriers. We will be talking to the industry about how to make all of this clearer and more useful to consumers.
For now, the best advice is to ask. Ask if there's any early termination fee. Are there charges you need to tell me about? What is this going to mean in terms of my contract? Until a time when all of that information is readily and very clearly available, they will certainly tell you if you ask.
More information


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HUGE LEAD: de Blasio leads Lhota by 50 points in mayoral race
Democrat Bill de Blasio has widened his lead to a commanding 50 points over Republican Joe Lhota in the race for New York City mayor, according to a poll released Thursday.
De Blasio, the city's public advocate, was the choice of 71 percent of likely New York voters, far ahead of the 21 percent who favor Lhota, a deputy under former mayor Rudolph Giuliani, the Quinnipiac University poll found. De Blasio's margin grew from 66 percent to 25 percent in the last Quinnipiac survey, which was released Sept. 19.
De Blasio said after the poll was released that the lead was "gratifying and humbling."
"I don't take anything for granted even though this is a wonderful poll," he told radio station 1010 WINS. "(Voters) want to find out what we can do to make this city a city of opportunity again. And that's where I think the support is coming from."
Independence Party candidate Adolfo Carrion had 2 percent in the poll. Five percent remain undecided and 11 percent of respondents who named a candidate say there's still a "good chance" they'll change their mind by the Nov. 5 general election.
De Blasio, who is white and married to a black woman, enjoys a commanding lead with minority voters. Among black voters, he leads 90 percent to 6 percent, and 79 percent to 10 percent among Hispanics. Among whites, his margin is 55 percent to 40 percent.
The poll of 1,198 likely voters was conducted Sept. 25-Oct. 1.The margin of error is plus or minus 2.8 percentage points.
The poll indicated that Lhota's support has room to grow, as 33 percent of those surveyed hadn't heard enough about him to form an opinion. A Lhota spokeswoman downplayed the results by saying "polls go up and polls go down."
"We remain confident that once New Yorkers learn more, they will choose Joe Lhota, a proven leader with a real plan to move New York forward," said the spokeswoman, Jessica Proud.
Both campaigns have released their first general election television ad. The Lhota campaign ad is clearly aimed at Democrats, highlighting that de Blasio and Lhota both support same-sex marriage, abortion rights and the decriminalization of small amounts of marijuana.
The de Blasio ad, meanwhile, shows uplifting clips from his primary night victory.
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Compatibility of Family and Work
Audit berufundfamilie
In 2013, WIAS obtained the berufundfamilie audit certificate for a period of three years. A target agreement was signed to optimize the institute's family-friendly arrangements. With the certificate, WIAS aims to document its commitment towards the harmonization of work and family both internally and externally and implement central research policy objectives. In the meantime WIAS successfully completed the re-audit and on June 20th 2017 WIAS received the next certificate.
Parent-and-child office
For mothers and fathers who temporarily wish to take care of a small child in the immediate vicinity of their working place WIAS provides a parent-and-child office (room 402 in Mohrenstrasse 39). There is a computer workplace with internet access and a telephone (no. 402) to allow to care for a child in emergencies like a strike action in the kindergarten or a slight and non-contagious disease of a child, the cancellation of classes at school or a cancellation at short notice by the day nanny. At the same time, one can do some work and have access to the needed documents.
Additionally, in the room exists a playpen/bed and two folding mattresses that can also be used in emergencies by collaborators who do not feel well. All electrical sockets are childproof. A first-aid kit can be found in the kitchen next door, where there is also a microwave oven that can be used to warm up baby food and milk. Clean linen (with a waterproof layer, please), cuddly toys, dishes, and other things with special hygienic requirements must be brought by the parents themselves. After having signed the Rules for using the parent-and-child office (in German only), you can get the key for the room by WIAS administration staff.
In the buiding Hausvogteiplatz one can find travel cots in the cloak rooms to be taken into the office.
You can find further information on equal opportunities on our staff only pages.


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Today (Aug. 31) Donyale Luna would be 65 years old.
I contacted two astrologers to do a chart and reading for her. One, however, lives on a houseboat in the wilderness and quite likely hasn't even seen my e-mail yet. The other agreed but failed to deliver.
Sorry, Donyale! I was hoping to celebrate you and honor and acknowledge your contributions to the world of fashion and to opening doors for women of color to appear in previously segregated fashion magazines. Oh well, next year!
I did talk with one of the astrologers about the two conflicting dates of her birth see "Donyale Luna arrives on the planet somewhere, sometime," this blog, July 20, 2010), She showed all the characteristics of someone born Aug. 1946 and few of anyone born Aug. 31, 1945. So if you're inclined to believe in astrology, as did Luna, add that to the evidence for that date.


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We would like to turn our attention to the daughter of Saint Margaret and King Malcolm of Scotland. Edith was born in 1080 at Dunfermline. Yes, her parents named her Edith, possibly in honor of Edith of Wessex, Queen of Edward the Confessor. She lived with her family in Scotland until she was six, when she was sent to school at the abbey of Romsey with her Aunt Cristina. Her Aunt didn't treat her very well while there and eventually Edith went to the aristocratic abbey of Wilton to further her education. She became versed in music, poetry, Old and New Testament, Church fathers and Latin authors and learned to speak Latin, French and English.
In 1093, a frantic sequence of events changed Edith's life and would have consequences for her even after her death. While at Wilton, the abbess would have Edith wear a nun's veil even though she had no intention of becoming a nun. It was common practice for Anglo-Saxon women to hide their identity to be safe from attack or kidnapping by Normans. Edith's father King Malcolm had negotiated for her to marry Alan the Red, Count of Richmond and about the same time, Malcolm was coming to England to meet King William Rufus II, son of William the Conqueror. Alan and Rufus visited Edith at the convent for unknown reasons and both saw Edith wearing the nun's veil and assumed she had taken vows to become a nun. Alan ended up kidnapping another nun from the abbey and marrying her. Rufus refused to meet with Malcolm after this incident. Malcolm was furious and concerned about the safety of his daughter. He went to the convent to get her and brought her home. Shortly after that, Malcolm and Edith's older brother were killed in combat against Rufus. A few days later, her mother died.
Where Edith resided from 1093 to the autumn of 1100 is unknown. She may have been at Wilton or the English court of Rufus where she met Henry, Rufus' younger brother. After Rufus was killed in a hunting accident in August of 1100, Henry vigorously seized the throne and treasury and proposed marriage to Edith. There was some controversy whether Edith had taken vows to become a nun or not but all objections were overcome and the marriage went forward.
Historians hint Henry had known Edith for awhile and was very fond of her. It is clear from the records he chose her as his bride. It would be an illustrious match, combining the newly formed Norman dynasty with the legacy of the old Anglo-Saxon line of kings. There was no doubt this combination would help strengthen Henry's authority to hold the English throne. It was after 1100 the chroniclers began calling Edith by the name Matilda. The reasons for the name change are not known.
Henry I, King of England and Matilda of Scotland were married on November 11, 1100 in Westminster Abbey and Matilda was duly crowned Queen. Matilda was to become adept at combining family connections, political alliances and patronization of the Church to her advantage.
Matilda was given abbeys, land, manors, cities and income by Henry, some of which were held by Edith of Wessex. For the 18 years of her marriage, she was part of the king's council and participated in policy decisions. Henry would name her head of the council when he traveled to Normandy to administer his dukedom there. She issued judgments and charters. Her family connections with her brothers in Scotland kept the two kingdoms at peace. The historians state she played a vital role in affairs of the kingdom. Her position amounted to being vice-regal. She was the deputy of the king, acting in his name. She certainly had earned Henry's trust to wield so much power. Matilda was very skilled and effective in persuading Henry to follow her advice and do her will and may have relished in her power. In 1111, there is affirmation of a seal used by Matilda to verify a document. This is the first use of a seal by a European Queen and a rare use of a seal by a queen-consort.
Henry and Matilda's daughter Maud (Matilda) was born in early 1102 and their son William Adelin (or Atheling) in November 1103. She had no more children. In 1110, her eight year old daughter was sent to Germany to be raised and learn the German language in anticipation of her marriage to Henry V, Holy Roman Emperor. One of Matilda's projects was to commission Bishop of St. Andrew Turgot to write a biography of her mother Saint Margaret. She also followed in the footsteps of her virtuous mother by doing holy works and endowing abbeys. She built abbeys, hospitals for lepers, bridges and other public works for cities and gave numerous and costly gifts to churches. She patronized scholars and musicians and was admired for being cultured and learned.
It was unfortunate that Matilda died suddenly on May 1, 1118 at her favorite palace of Westminster. She was buried in Westminster Abbey. Almost immediately there were rumors of miracles at her tomb. In the years of turmoil over the English throne after Henry died, there was a campaign to stain the image of Matilda by saying she should never have married Henry due to the fact she took vows to be a nun. This cost her chance to become a saint like her mother.
As a postscript to her life, her son William Adelin died at seventeen in a tragic shipwreck. When Henry died he named his daughter Matilda (also called Maud) as his heir. The English people were not fond of the idea of being ruled by a Queen and civil war commenced.
Further reading: "Matilda of Scotland, A Study in Medieval Queenship" by Lois L. Huneycutt


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Gay couples may get deportation break
SAN FRANCISCO (AP) — The Department of Homeland Security is planning to issue a policy memo saying that illegal immigrants with American same-sex partners are eligible to have their deportations put on hold under a federal program designed to focus resources away from low-priority cases.
The move had been sought by gay rights activists and their allies in Congress before Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano announced plans for the policy Thursday in a letter to 84 Democratic lawmakers.
"It will mark the very first time that lesbian and gay couples have been recognized within immigration policy for relief," said Steve Ralls, the spokesman for Immigration Equality, an advocacy group for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender immigrants.
The Democratic lawmakers addressed in Napolitano's letter pressed the agency to inform Immigration and Customs Enforcement field offices that bi-national gay couples in long-term relationships have family ties that should be considered as grounds for deferring a foreign citizen's removal from the United States.
"I have directed ICE to disseminate written guidance to the field that the interpretation of the phrase 'family relationships' includes long-term, same-sex partners," Napolitano wrote, adding that the decision to grant reprieves still would be considered on a case-by-case basis.
The instructions do not mean that foreigners who are married to Americans of the same sex will be eligible for green cards or citizenship, as are immigrants with opposite sex spouses. The Obama administration is continuing to enforce a 1996 law that prohibits the government from recognizing same-sex marriages, even as it opposes it in court and takes gay relationships into account when evaluating deportation cases.
The Williams Institute, a think tank, estimates that as of 2010 there were about 29,000 same-sex couples nationwide comprised of a U.S citizen and a citizen of another country.
Mark Krikorian, executive director of the Center for Immigration Studies, a Washington group that advocates tighter immigration policies, said that even though the administration says it is complying with the 1996 Defense of Marriage Act by not allowing citizens to sponsor same-sex spouses for green cards, the pending guidance for ICE officials to review the family ties of same-sex couples suggests otherwise.
"It's a camel's nose under the tent," Krikorian said. "If you get same-sex couples approved in terms of immigration, you can use that as an incremental approach to getting changes in other areas, such as in tax policy."
The policy guidance expected to go out next week will reference a memo ICE Director John Morton issued last year advising the agency's officers and lawyers to review pending deportation cases to determine which ones should be top priority and which ones might be shelved, Napolitano said.
ICE officials said at the time that long-term same-sex relationships could be included under the family ties criteria, but gay rights advocates and House Democrats, led by Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi, wanted that determination put into writing.


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The University of Southampton has become the latest institution to formally launch its cybersecurity research centre as part of the Academic Centre of Excellence in Cyber Security Research (ACE-CSR) funding coordinated by GCHQ.
Led by Professor Vladimiro Sassone, the APS50,000 grant will be used to research new cybersecurity technologies for use by the UK business and the Government.
A wider goal of the GCHQ programme is to increase the number of skilled graduates with the sort of cybersecurity skills that are still in short supply.
"Our well-integrated research portfolio links together aspects of internet privacy and trust, super-identity and access control, and secure hardware devices in one full circle," said Professor Sassone.
"Online activities underpin a growing range of day to day activities and there is a real need to ensure that users are supported in their online transactions and behaviours. Issues span the robustness of our national security and economic processes, to the security of digital information held by government and public bodies, and recognise the technical, legal, ethical and social responsibilities around our own personal privacy" Professor Sassone added.
Southampton University is already considered a leading centre for computing research.
The University of Bristol made a similar announcement a month ago, one of eight institutions included in the programme.
Others awarded ACE-CSR funding are Oxford University, Imperial College, Lancaster University, Queen's University Belfast, University College London, and the University of London Royal Holloway.
"The new Centre will give us the opportunity to further develop work we've been engaged in for quite some time in this crucial area of research - to foster innovation and provide top quality graduates in the field," said Southampton University vice chancellor, Don Nutbeam.
In September, GCHQ announced that it was setting up its own virtual cyber-research institute in conjunction with a number of institutions, some of which are have been awarded ACE-CSR funding.


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According to Sam Amick of USA TODAY Sports, Howard has chosen to sign with the Houston Rockets. Amick filed a report and tweeted it out.
Dwight Howard has chosen to sign with the Houston Rockets, @USATODAYSports has learned. Story to come. - http://t.co/eNYYg63uJo
— Sam Amick (@sam_amick) July 5, 2013
A few minutes later, Alex Kennedy of HOOPSWORLD, a property owned by USA Today Sports, tweeted that Howard had not reached a decision yet.
Source close to Dwight Howard says no decision made. It's down to Houston and L.A. They informed Dallas, Atlanta, Golden State they're out.
— Alex Kennedy (@AlexKennedyNBA) July 5, 2013
Collaboration might have been helpful, considering the two are technically co-workers, but to be fair, USA Today Sports is a rather large operation. It's not ideal to have conflicting reports within your own ranks, though.
Adrian Wojnarowski of Yahoo! Sports tapped into his sources, finding out that Howard hasn't decided, according to his agent, Dan Fegan. However, "multiple sources" told Woj that it's merely a matter of finalizing Howard going to the Rockets, and he filed a report using that information, still giving first credit to Amick and USA TODAY.
This whole mess makes LeBron's Decision almost tolerable—at least it was clear-cut! God, the Lakers must be experiencing so many emotions right now.
Photo: Kevin Winter/Getty Images


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The Best Gifts For The Worst People You Know
Looking for the perfect holiday gift to give to that special someone you just can't stand? Finding something to perfectly express your disdain can be harder than it seems, but fortunately, InventorSpot has put together a handy guide of terrible presents perfect for 14 types of people to help you figure it out. They've got suggestions for everyone from "your crazy nephew who isn't allowed to handle knives" (a butter cutter) to "the girl who swears you're stalking her" (a customized puzzle featuring a satellite image of her neighborhood) to "the mom who thinks letting her kid outside is just too dangerous" (an indoor marshmallow roaster).
Of course, if you don't find something perfect on that list, you can always check their previous list of terrible gifts dating from 2008, which features such classic terrible gifts as real squirrel feet earrings and a ball filled with air, so you can literally give someone the gift of "nothing."
Or you can go more traditional, and give someone that classic naughty gift—coal.


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Hamilton, Alice
Hamilton, Alice, 1869–1970, American toxicologist, physician, and educator, b. New York City, M.D. Univ. of Michigan, 1893; she continued her studies in Germany. A pioneer in industrial diseases and hygiene, she joined the faculty of Harvard Medical School in 1919 and became emeritus professor of industrial medicine in 1935. Her services as an outstanding authority on industrial conditions, ailments, and poisons were eagerly sought by political and government agencies. She worked with the state of Illinois, the U.S. Dept. of Commerce, and the health committee of the League of Nations. Her publications include Industrial Poisoning in the United States (1925), Industrial Toxicology (1934), and Exploring the Dangerous Trades, an autobiography (1943).
The Columbia Electronic Encyclopedia, 6th ed. Copyright © 2023, Columbia University Press. All rights reserved.
See more Encyclopedia articles on: Medicine: Biographies


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Items in final sale are non-refundable.
More info click: Shipping and Returns


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A museum like no other
Here at Ars Technica we've written about the US creationist movement and its attack on science quite regularly. From attempts to alter the way science is taught in different states across the US to statements from potential presidents, there's no denying that creationists garner a lot of column inches. So when I found out that they were building their answer to a science museum about an hour's drive away, I knew that I'd have to go and take a look.
Editor's note: Inevitably, a story on a sensitive topic such as this invites speculation as to our motives. Let it be known that Ars Technica's staff represents a wide range of religious backgrounds, political views, and opinions, (though we must admit that none of us are young-earth creationists).
The entrance to the Creation Museum in Petersburg, KY
Last weekend was the first weekend the Creation Museum in Petersburg, KY, (near Cincinnati) has been open to the public, and I, your intrepid reporter, braved the crowds to see what the fuss was about. Built at a cost of $27 million, it's an imposing building—not a particularly attractive one, though—with 60,000 square feet of space inside. With a budget as large as theirs, I'd have sent some of that money to Frank Gehry or Richard Meier, but then I'd not be building a creationist museum in the first place. That 60,000 square feet also managed to swallow the attendees quite easily; the parking lot may have been full, but there was never a scrum.
First off, I must confess that I found the place very slick. They evidently got a good graphic design team to put together the displays, and the animatronics and vignettes were well done. The museum boasts that it had an ex-Universal Studios executive work on the presentation, and it's on a par with the better modern museums I've been to.
The message, on the other hand, I can't agree with. Designed for a fundamentalist Christian crowd, the Creation Museum is no friend to those who do not hold to its creationist tenets. Presumably to avoid labels of anti-Semitism, the museum takes it easy on Judaism. So far, no surprises. But then we get to its handling of the science and truly step through the looking glass.
To begin with, the museum presents real science alongside its version; an aviary containing finches is the first thing to greet you as you began your tour. The finches were a profound influence on Darwin and his theory of natural selection and are still studied by evolutionary biologists today. Another display contained poison frogs. This was of particular interest to me, since they claim the reason poison frogs aren't poisonous in captivity is due to the Almighty. I'm fairly sure it's due to the lack of poisonous mites in their diet, but there you go.
There were posters explaining just how coal could be formed in a few weeks as opposed to over millions of years and how rapidly the Biblical flood would cover the earth, drowning all but a handful of living creatures. The flood plays a big part in the museum's attempt to explain away what we see as millions of years of natural processes. There was also an explanation as to why, with only one progenitor family, it wasn't considered incest for Adam and Eve's children to marry each other. Apparently there was less sin back then, and therefore fewer mutations in their DNA. Evidently sin, not two copies of the same recessive trait, gives rise to congenital birth defects.
As you walk through the museum, the contorted reasoning to explain the formation of the Grand Canyon in hours or the rapid creation of thousands of breeds of dogs in a matter of weeks is augmented by what can only be described as a house of horrors about the dangers of abortion and drugs and the devil's music. A wall is covered in articles from newspapers and magazines showing what happens when society lives without the museum's brand of fundamentalist Christianity as its guiding light. Stem cell research, abortion, and homosexuality are center stage. Their representation of the modern world consists of a a seedy-looking alley, replete with rats, trash, and a church being demolished. It might have worked better if they'd set it to Gimme Shelter by the Rolling Stones, but I'm not sure Mick and boys would have gone for that.
"No Heaven. No Hell. Just Science.
Inside the crusade against religion."
Surprisingly, I didn't get much of a Flintstones vibe. I was expecting many more displays with Adam and Eve and T. Rex, whom we learn was a vegetarian in the days of yore, but with a couple of exceptions, dinosaurs and humans were separated by at least a few feet. There also didn't seem to be that many dinosaurs in general. They may have been outdoors in the park, but it was raining by this point and there was only so much more I could take. There was, however, a saddled dinosaur at the exit for small children to ride. Other exhibits included a take on Noah's Ark, including how all the animals got peacefully onto the boat two by two. Noah gathered them together, it seems, but the Lord made them walk the gangplank.
Notice how the vegetarian velociraptors ignore Eve
It was certainly an eye-opening way to spend an afternoon, but not one I could recommend to anyone in good conscience, if for no other reason than I can think of many better ways to spend $20. If anyone wants to see more, I've put a virtual tour up on Flickr.
What every little kid wants—a triceratops with a saddle.
Meanwhile, the founder of the museum, Australian Ken Ham, is being investigated by a former Chief Magistrate in his home country for deceptive conduct and other wrongdoings in relation to the Australian church organization he was once affiliated with. This is hot on the heels of the incarceration of that other leading light of the creationist movement, Kent Hovind, who was recently sentenced to a decade in prison for tax evasion.


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Dr. Dean Ornish on the power of mindful choices
For more than three decades, Dr. Dean Ornish has been talking about the power individuals have to affect their health, even to the extent of reversing heart disease by changing the way they eat and behave. His prescription for sick people is radical, as he says, "a pound of cure." But for the rest of us, it's a what he calls a "spectrum program" of choices.
Ornish is talking about his ideas at the ninth annual Health Freedom Expo in Long Beach, March 1-3 (www.healthfreedomexpo.com).
You talk in your books about the value of love. What has love to do with a low-fat diet and keeping healthy?
What's love got to do with it? Well, my program is much more than a low-fat diet. It includes a whole food, plant-based diet for people trying to reverse heart disease, moderate exercise, stress management techniques including yoga and meditation, and love and support.
Study after study has shown that people who are lonely and depressed and isolated — and I think that's a real epidemic in our culture — are three times more likely to get sick and die prematurely than those who have a sense of love and connection and community. In part this is because when you are feeling lonely and depressed, you're more likely to smoke, overeat, drink too much, work too hard, abuse yourself in different ways, as a way of just getting through the day.
We have support groups that are more intentional communities. We create a feeling of safety that enables people to let down their emotional defenses and talk openly and authentically about what's going on in their lives with other people who are able to do the same. It's very powerfully healing.
Are people living more healthfully than when you started out?
I think we're seeing both ends of that spectrum. The forces of light and the forces of darkness are both growing stronger in every sense of the word. And so some people are even less interested in eating and living more healthfully. But many people are. I think that's one of the reasons why heart disease rates have gone down so significantly in the last 15 or 20 years.
For reversing heart disease, that's one thing, but the approach I take is a spectrum approach (www.ornish.com). It's based on the idea that in all of our studies, we found the more you change, the more you can improve. In ways we can measure and in how you feel. At any age. … The more they change their diet and lifestyle, the better they get at any age. That's a very hopeful, profoundly hopeful message we can give to people.
Why don't you tell people what to eat or not eat?
I've found that if I tell somebody 'Eat this and don't do that,' it's not only not helpful, it's counterproductive because even more than being healthy, we want to feel free and in control, and as soon as somebody tells us to do something, there's a tendency to do just the opposite. The fact is that the first dietary intervention was 'Don't eat the apple,' and that didn't turn out very well, and that was God talking. So I can't do better than that. What matters most is your overall way of eating and living.
Are doctors as a group more willing to take into account a broader spectrum of ideas?
When I began doing this work 36 years ago, there was a lot of criticism and disbelief. But since we've been able to prove, using these very high-tech, expensive, state-of-the-art, scientific measures, how powerful these very low-tech and low-cost and often ancient interventions are, that's changing. It's all happening at a time when the limitations of high-tech conventional medicine are becoming clear at the same time that the power of these ancient and low-tech interventions is becoming more documented. … The studies are showing that bypass surgery and angioplasties and stents don't really prolong life or prevent heart attacks in people unless they're in the midst of having one, which the vast majority of people are not who undergo those procedures — which we spent $100 billion on last year.
And Medicare is now covering my program. It's the first time they've ever done anything like that.
You say that how you eat is as important as what you eat. Could you elaborate?
When you eat mindfully, by paying attention to what you eat, you get more pleasure with fewer calories. We've all had the experience of eating mindlessly, like watching a movie and eating a bag of popcorn. You look down and the popcorn is gone, and it's like, 'Who ate this?' because you were not really paying attention, you were engrossed in the movie and not in what you were eating.
But if you are eating mindfully, then you can really enjoy what you are eating, much in the same way as you might savor a fine wine. I love chocolate, dark chocolate in particular. So I can savor the dark chocolate, and enjoy it and get an intense amount of pleasure in just a few calories.


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NRA surprisingly credited with crafting new anti-gun laws
The tides may be turning within the National Rifle Association: according to a new report, America's largest gun-lobbying group has helped advance three bills recently that limit firearm ownership, and more could soon be added to that list.
On Tuesday this week, reporters Laura Bassett and Christina Wilkie wrote for the Huffington Post that the NRA has all but abandoned earlier efforts by the group to halt state legislation that attempt to impose restrictions on legally owning guns. Instead, the HuffPost reporters wrote, the organization's lobbyists have worked directly with lawmakers in order to craft rules agreeable by both sides that force gun owners with domestic violence records to surrender their weapons.
After nearly a decade, Bassett and Wilkie wrote, the NRA has only recently "changed its tune" in February the group helped advance a bill in Washington state that aims to guns out of the hands of alleged domestic abusers. Similar bills have already recently been advanced or approved in the states of Louisiana, Wisconsin and Minnesota, the journalists added, and the NRA is unexpectedly the one that deserves credit.
For practically ten years before that, the NRA took seemingly every action possible to keep HB 1840 from being signed into law in Washington. Initially, the bill was written so that anyone alleged to be a domestic abuser would have to hand over their weapons after being served with a protective order, but the NRA — largely known for staunchly opposing attempts to infringe on the right to own firearms — has opposed that language since it was first considered by local lawmakers.
That changed this year, however, when the bill was passed unanimously by the Washington legislature. The reason why, HuffPost claimed, is that "the gun lobby made a backroom deal with lawmakers, agreeing to drop its public opposition to it in exchange for a few minor changes."
Those changes, Bassett and Wilkie wrote, include altering a provision that will now, if signed into law, allow alleged abuser to surrender their guns to friends and family instead of the state. And although it might only be a minor edit, it could be monumental news for anti-violence advocates who for ages have fought, albeit unsuccessfully, against lobbyists from the NRA who have tried to all but abolish anything that may interfere with the Second Amendment to the United States' Constitution's right to bear arms.
The Minnesota bill is expected to meet the approval of lawmakers there next, HuffPost reported, and the lawmakers who are sponsoring these anti-domestic violence bills say the NRA is becoming instrumental in helping their fight.
"The NRA has been really good to work with on this particular issue," Minnesota State Rep. Dan Schoen (D) told the website. "It pains me to say, but they have been."
Center for American Progress senior policy fellow Arkadi Gerney added to the HuffPost report that the NRA's recent about face is welcome, but likely a calculated retreat.
"The NRA knows that their message -- which is more guns everywhere and generally doing nothing to keep guns out of the hands of dangerous people -- doesn't resonate very well with most women in the United States," Gerney said.
But be that as it may, having the NRA work side by side with lawmakers is something that has yet to be seen even on a small scale when it comes to the federal level. Despite the fact that mass shootings continue to occur in the US on a routine basis, efforts to pass national new gun restrictions — even those touted by President Barack Obama and the White House — have been blocked by members of Congress.


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Message Board
Kem Nunn Message Board
Talk about the novels, new and used books that Nunn has written!
Author Nunn's Book Reviews
Tijuana Straits
Scribner, Aug 2004, 25.00, 306 pp. ISBN: 0684843056 His dilapidated property, inherited from his homicidal father is located near the TIJUANA STRAITS, but loner Sam Fahey never goes surfing at the renowned locale as he had when he was a teen. Instead the former jailbird earns a pittance as a worm farmer who cannot leave his land for the anxiety attacks cripple him when he tries. Sam, tracking wild dogs, finds a battered Mexican woman. Though...


text: ChrisKnottIns 0 Posted July 5, 2016 I'd just like to thank every club member who has taken out car insurance through the Chris Knott Car Club Scheme so far in 2016. Every month (for the 7 months in a row) we've beaten our New Business target and we're now almost 10% ahead of where we expected to be. It's thanks to you and we're grateful. Already for July (the first 4 whole days) we've reached 26% of this month's target, you brilliant lot! We really do appreciate members giving us a try for their car insurance and finding out how much we can save them - and it's clearly working to everyone's benefit. If you haven't yet tried us, or you tried us before and we couldn't quite get there, please call for a quote this year and we'll do all we can to win your custom. The insurers on our panel are backing us to a great degree as we try to win more club enthusiast business. QUOTELINE: 0800 917 2274 I'll be letting you know which clubs/forums feature in our Top 20 (year to date) in the coming weeks. Let's see if there have been any changes in the rankings - I'm expecting there will have been!! Thanks again, Nick PS. Don't forget that if you get a car quote before 1 August 2016 you could win this prize in our draw - https://www.chrisknott.co.uk/rewards/2016/ImageFuel/IFCKPromo.pdf - just call us today! ************* FEEDBACK Just some of the people we've helped to a better car insurance deal in recent weeks... "+1 from me, took my policy out today after you guys quoted over £1000 LESS than Academy and Adrian Flux (and £300 less than the cheapest price comparison website quote)." octaviaconvert, Briskoda "All I can say is the staff member who dealt with me (Tabitha) was nothing other than professional and very helpful, even when I called back to sort out the email I have to send for proof of my NCD. She was very helpful to an old numpty like me telling me I don't need to send it off until I'm paying, quality service all round." Mick.M, Focus ST Owners Club "Happy chappy! Just wanted to say how pleased I am with Chris Knott Insurance. Just called to update my reg number as my private plate is now going on the car, my call went straight through to Daryl who was efficient and clear and best of all there was no charge for doing this (quite right too) although all other firms seem to charge! Please pass my comments on, so far so good with Chris Knott and I'm glad I chose them, so thanks MPSOC for the heads up (I didn't know of CK before this forum)." Mr and Mrs MPS, MPS Owners Club "A Big Thank You for making my Insurance enquiry so easy and dealing with it. Cheers Guys." D15VRS, Briskoda "Purchased car insurance through Chris Knott Insurance, very pleasant easy experience and most of all competitive prices. Thanks a bunch, especially Kathy who has exceptional customer service." bladerider666, SeatCupra net "You guys just beat my best quote by £40 and my renewal by £70, so I'm a happy chappy." DPurchese, BMW Z4 Forum "I spoke to Ian at lunch, the 2x quotes they gave me for our cars are currently cheaper than any multi-car quote we've had so far. I need to do some more checks tonight but so far Chris Knott are the best deal :)." lfcrule1972, DS3 Owners Club "I went ahead with Chris Knott... £720 for both MX5's." TomTom, DS3 Owners Club "Insured mine for £500, just waiting for Joni's renewal to be up and then we'll see what deal we can get with hers on there too. Thanks as ever Nick." Dangerousfish, DS3 Owners Club "Would like to thank Melinda for taking the time to price match the better quote I found for both cars & keeping us as a customer. It was refreshing to be treated as a valued customer." Rusty2009, VXOC Astra-J/GTC forum "Kathy, kindest regards, and thanks for being so lovely and "human" to speak too!" Hannah Gosden, Canterbury "I was in the process of buying my Mazda 6 2.2d Takuya, and looking for the best insurance quotes. Having done the usual searches through Google and coming up short on various price comparison websites, I thought I would check out this forum. I found the number and called Chris Knott, at the time of calling I hadn't bought the car but was planning on getting it after work, I found out the office closed at 5pm but Rebecca said she would call me at 4:55pm and she was happy to stay later to complete my sign up. Overall it was a great experience dealing with Rebecca, she was very thorough and professional, more to the point she gave me the best quote." gt2.2, Mazda6 Owners Club Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites


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Browsing Yesterday & today: 2010 No 5 by Author "Popp, Susanne"
Now showing items 1-1 of 1
Trans-European convergences in national textbooks for history education? An approach to the comparison of image sources in schoolbooks. Popp, Susanne (The South African Society for History Teaching (SASHT) under the auspices of the School of Basic Sciences, Vaal Triangle Campus, North-West University, 2010)According to findings of textbook analyses since 2004 all across Europe, students encounter a group of about 15 historical paintings and historical photographs in their history textbooks which are shown more often than ...


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Her cherubic cheeks and wide eyes are recognized all over the world as the face of Gerber baby food. And while many people think the iconic illustration is a composite of idealized adorable babies, it's actually based on a real person: Ann Turner Cook. In 1928, Cook's neighbor Dorothy Hope Smith submitted a drawing of then 4-month-old Ann to a contest searching for "a face to represent a baby food advertising campaign." Smith's charcoal sketch won, and the simple illustration (which was competing against elaborate oil paintings) has represented the Gerber brand ever since. "That face is honored for 'We're doing the best we can for our child,'" Gerber's CEO says about the indelible image.
Ann Turner Cook is now 87 and a great-grandmother, but her kids always got a kick out of their mother's famous face. "My own children would go through a grocery store, and they would point to the Gerber baby food and say, 'That's my mother's picture,' to whoever was walking by," she CBS Sunday Morning. The company thanked her for her contribution to the brand in the 1950s, and Cook used the money to put a down payment on a house and buy her first car. Still, Ann's favorite part of her lifelong experience is hearing other people's loving associations with her portrait. "It reminds them of their own babies. Everybody says 'My baby or my grandchild looks like the Gerber baby' — regardless of ethnicity. I can't think of anything nicer than being a symbol for babies and that's what I think I became."
[Via The Huffington Post
More From Cosmopolitan
Via Redbook


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Occasional episodes of government mismanagement explode into big scandals, such as the General Services Administration's party in Las Vegas that wasted more than $800,000.
Other waste gets flagged by auditors but generally goes unnoticed. I came across this new Inspector General (IG) report revealing $1 million of waste at the Bureau of Indian Affairs (BIA). Unlike the GSA scandal, it included no photos of bureaucrats in bathtubs, so you probably won't see it on the cable news.
Still, the BIA episode revealed many standard elements of federal waste. According to the IG, the episode included:
- A Politician Seeking Something: Then Senator Byron Dorgan (D-ND) pressured the BIA to hire more law enforcement officials.
- An Incompetent Agency: The BIA contracted-out head-hunter activities to a group called the National Native American Law Enforcement Association (NNALEA). The IG says that the BIA "violated federal procurement regulations" a variety of ways, and it was clearly duped by the contractor. The NNALEA "capitalized on the bureau's failures."
- A Contractor Doing Shoddy Work: The applications sent by the NNALEA to the BIA for the law enforcement jobs were of very poor quality. Of the 514 reviewed by the IG, for example, 104 simply didn't meet the age requirements. All in all, "none" of the applications was of any use to the BIA.
- A Lack of Personal Responsibility: NNALEA's leaders generally refused to be interviewed by the IG regarding their failures. And because the IG's new report came out a couple years after the events took place, the key BIA personnel responsible have moved on, including the then-head of the BIA, Larry Echohawk.
In sum, routine bureaucratic and political factors resulted in the BIA spending $1 million from which taxpayers and the intended recipients received "no benefit," according to the IG. So no bathtubs on this one, just a run-of-the-mill Beltway boondoggle.


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(Owner's Blog)
In Febrary of 2007, my kids (Coral & Philip Waters) and I went to Venezuela. One of the places we went was a large ranch called Hato El Frio in the Los Llanos region. Los Llanos is often reffered to as the New World equivalent of the African plains. Such a tremendous abundance of wildlife! And among those swamps and plains roam the world's largest rodents, the capybaras.
Capybaras have disappeared in parts of their range where they are over-hunted or where there has been significant habitat destruction due to farming, daming and deforestation. Hato El Frio was one place where they still occurred in large number due to the ranche's progressive attitudes.
Hato El Frio (and Hato El Cedral, although I did not visit there) were experiments in sustainable ranching along with ecotourism. Dams were built to encourage wildlife to remain year-round and to provide more habitat for aquatic or semi-aquatic species. In addition, cattle and water buffalo were raised for meat. Capybaras were also "harvested" but in a sustainable manner. For decades the ranch maintained a science station that studied the affects of ranching on wildlife populations.
The following photos show some of the interesting animals that we saw on our week-long stay.
I could go on but you are probably wondering what the point is. So let me get to it. The Venezuelan government, under Hugo Chavez, has nationalized Hato El Frio and Hato El Cedral. See this article, Venezuela Coverts Tourist Destination into Farm Land.
I doubt that they are even now maintaining the Hatos' programs to rebuild populations of the seriously endangered Orinoco crocodile, red-footed tortoises, Orinoco side-neck turtles or river dolphins. I doubt that they are concerning themselves with sustainability. These ranches have served as a beacon to the region as to what can be done to use the land while retaining wildlife. Now all of that is gone.
This is a terrible tragedy made even worse by the fact that most Americans–who live so close–don't even know what the world is losing. Most Americans don't even know what a capybara is. Caplin and I are devastated. No species is safe if people and governments don't care.
(Follow this link to see more of my photos of Hato El Frio including more capybara photos.)


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Disney to scan fingers of children between ages 3 and 9 to prevent fraud
ORLANDO, Fla. - In an effort to combat fraud, children between the ages of 3 and 9 should now be prepared to have their fingers scanned when they enter the Walt Disney World theme parks.
The Orlando Sentinel reports that the new requirement is in place to help block the use of stolen and shared tickets. Older children and adult visitors have already been having their fingers scanned for years.
Previously, younger children's tickets were more easily transferable because they had no finger images attached to them.
Disney introduced scanners more than a decade ago that used "finger geometry" - pictures of several points on people's fingers.
Parents who feel uncomfortable with having their children get their fingers scanned can use their own instead.


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15 Signs You're Dealing With A Narcissist, From A Therapist
When determining whether someone is a narcissist, most people make it more complicated than it needs to be.
I use the duck test—that is, if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it probably is a duck.
There are no physical blood tests, MRIs, or exact determinations that can identify narcissism.
Even therapists have to go on just observations of the behavior and attitudes that a person presents. So below are all the traits and behaviors that are signs of a narcissist.
Not all of these traits have to be present to make a determination of narcissism: According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, which therapists use as a guide, a person needs to exhibit only 55% of the identified characteristics to be diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder.
What is a narcissist?
If you aren't exactly sure what the term narcissist means, it's someone who has narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), a clinically diagnosed personality disorder characterized by a grandiosity, a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy toward other people.
In short, it's someone who believes they're better than everyone else.
It's been shown that individuals who have NPD often require constant admiration, show arrogance, entitlement, envy, exploitativeness, lack empathy, self-importance and more.
Read on for an in-depth look at the signs that you're dealing with a narcissist.
Signs you're dealing with a narcissist
Superiority and entitlement
Superiority is the No. 1 sign of a narcissist. This is different from self-confidence alone.
The world of the narcissist is all about good/bad, superior/inferior, and right/wrong.
There is a definite hierarchy, with the narcissist at the top—which is the only place they feel safe.
Narcissists have to be the best, the most right, and the most competent; do everything their way; own everything; and control everyone.
Interestingly enough, narcissists can also get that superior feeling by being the worst, the most wrong, or the most ill, upset, or injured.
Then they feel entitled to receive soothing concern and recompense and even the right to hurt you or demand apologies to "make things even." This is called vulnerable or covert narcissism.
Exaggerated need for attention and validation
Another core narcissist trait is the constant need for attention—even just by following you around the house, asking you to find things, or constantly saying something to grab your attention.
Validation for a narcissist counts only if it comes from others. Even then, it doesn't count for much.
A narcissist's need for validation is like a funnel. You pour in positive, supportive words, and they just flow out the other end and are gone.
No matter how much you tell narcissists you love them, admire them, or approve of them, they never feel it's enough—because deep down they don't believe anyone can love them.
Despite all their self-absorbed, grandiose bragging, narcissists are actually very insecure and fearful of not measuring up.
They constantly try to elicit praise and approval from others to shore up their fragile egos, but no matter how much they're given, they always want more.
You can spot a narcissist through their extremely high need for everything to be perfect.
They believe they should be perfect, you should be perfect, events should happen exactly as expected, and life should play out precisely as they envision it.
This is an excruciatingly impossible demand, which results in the narcissist feeling dissatisfied and miserable much of the time.
The demand for perfection leads the narcissist to complain and be constantly dissatisfied.
Great need for control
Manipulation and trying to grab control of everything is archetypal narcissist behavior.
Since narcissists are continually disappointed with the imperfect way life unfolds, they want to do as much as possible to control it and mold it to their liking.
They want and demand to be in control, and their sense of entitlement makes it seem logical to them that they should be in control—of everything.
Narcissists always have a storyline in mind about what each "character" in their interaction should be saying and doing.
When you don't behave as expected, they become quite upset and unsettled.
They don't know what to expect next because you're off-script. They demand that you say and do exactly what they have in mind so they can reach their desired conclusion.
You are a character in their internal play, not a real person with your own thoughts and feelings. (This is why breaking up with a narcissist can be particularly tricky.)
Lack of responsibility
Lack of responsibility, including blaming and deflection, is a glaring sign of a narcissist.
Although narcissists want to be in control, they never want to be responsible for the results—unless, of course, everything goes exactly their way and their desired result occurs.
When things don't go according to their plan or they feel criticized or less than perfect, the narcissist places all the blame and responsibility on someone else to maintain their own façade of perfection. It has to be someone else's fault.
Sometimes that blame is generalized—everyone's out to get them. Most often, however, the narcissist blames the one person who is the most emotionally close, most attached, loyal, and loving in their life.
The victims of their narcissistic abuse are the safest people to blame because they are least likely to leave or reject them.
Lack of boundaries
Many people lack boundaries or cross other people's boundaries regularly, but among narcissists, this is status-quo behavior.
Narcissists can't accurately see where they end and you begin. They are a lot like two-year-olds.
They believe that everything belongs to them, everyone thinks and feels the same as they do, and everyone wants the same things they do.
They are shocked and highly insulted to be told no. If a narcissist wants something from you, they'll go to great lengths to figure out how to get it through persistence, cajoling, demanding, rejecting, or pouting. These are all common narcissist behaviors.
Lack of empathy
Narcissists have very little ability to empathize with others; this lack of empathy is a hallmark sign of narcissism.
Narcissists tend to be selfish and self-involved and are usually unable to understand what other people are feeling.
They expect others to think and feel the same as they do and seldom give any thought to how others feel. They are also rarely apologetic, remorseful, or guilty.
Some narcissists also lack an understanding of the nature of feelings. They don't understand how their feelings occur.
They think their feelings are caused by someone or something outside of themselves.
They don't realize that their feelings are caused by their own biochemistry, thoughts, and interpretations.
In a nutshell, narcissists always think you cause their feelings—especially the negative ones.
They conclude that because you didn't follow their plan or because you made them feel vulnerable, you are to blame.
This lack of empathy makes true emotional connection and relationships with narcissists difficult or impossible, where you're dating one or were raised by a narcissist. They just don't notice what anyone else is feeling.
Perceiving everything as a threat
Although they're highly attuned to perceived threats, anger, and rejection from others, narcissists frequently misread subtle facial expressions and are typically biased toward interpreting facial expressions as negative.
Unless you are acting out your emotions dramatically, the narcissist won't accurately perceive what you're feeling.
Even saying "I'm sorry" or "I love you" when the narcissist is on edge and angry can backfire. They won't believe you and may even misperceive your comment as an attack.
In addition, if your words and expressions aren't congruent, the narcissist will likely respond erroneously or get defensive.
This is why narcissists often misinterpret sarcasm as actual agreement or joking from others as a personal attack.
The lack of ability to correctly read body language, a common narcissist trait, is one reason narcissists are deficiently empathetic to your feelings.
They don't see them, they don't interpret them correctly, and overall they don't believe you feel any differently than they do.
Emotional reasoning
You've probably made the mistake of trying to reason and use logic with the narcissist to get them to understand the painful effect their behaviors have on you.
You think that if they understand how much their behavior hurt you, they'll change.
Your explanations, however, don't make sense to the narcissist, who only seems able to be aware of their own thoughts and feelings. Although narcissists may say they understand, they honestly don't.
Therefore, narcissists make most of their decisions based on how they feel about something.
They simply must have that red sports car, based entirely on how they feel driving it, not by whether it is a good choice to make for the family or for the budget.
If they're bored or depressed, they want to move or end the relationship or start a new business.
They always look to something or someone outside themselves to solve their feelings and needs.
They expect you to go along with their "solutions," and they react with irritation and resentment if you don't.
The narcissist's personality is split into good and bad parts, and they also split everything in their relationships into good and bad.
Any negative thoughts or behaviors are blamed on you or others, whereas they take credit for everything that is positive and good.
They deny their negative words and actions while continually accusing you of disapproving.
They also remember things as completely good and wonderful or as bad and horrible. They can't seem to mix these two constructs.
A few examples of a narcissist's splitting behavior in action: Marty labeled the whole vacation ruined and the worst ever because the hotel room didn't meet his expectations and the weather wasn't perfect.
Bob was blamed for 20 years because he wasn't there when his wife had their first child even though he was stranded in Chicago in a snowstorm.
Alice's husband dismissed her concerns about the $30,000 cost for the new landscaping because he loved it.
Narcissists aren't able to see, feel, or remember both the positive and the negative in a situation. They can deal with only one perspective at a time—theirs.
Fear of rejection and ridicule
The narcissist's entire life is motivated and energized by fear.
You wouldn't initially pick this out as a sign of a narcissist though because most narcissists' fears are deeply buried and repressed.
They're constantly afraid of being ridiculed, rejected, or wrong. They may have fears about germs, about losing all their money, about being emotionally or physically attacked, about being seen as bad or inadequate, or about being abandoned.
This makes it difficult and sometimes impossible for the narcissist to trust anyone else. In fact, the closer your relationship becomes, the less they will trust you.
Narcissists fear any true intimacy or vulnerability because they're afraid you'll see their imperfections and judge or reject them.
No amount of reassurance seems to make a difference, because narcissists deeply hate and reject their own shameful imperfections.
Narcissists never seem to develop trust in the love of others, and they continually test you with worse and worse behaviors to try to find your breaking point.
Their gripping fear of being "found out" or abandoned never seems to dissipate.
Anxiety is an ongoing, vague feeling that something bad is happening or about to happen.
Some narcissists show their anxiety by talking constantly about the doom that is about to happen, while some hide and repress their anxiety.
But most narcissists project their anxiety onto their closest loved ones, accusing them of being negative, unsupportive, mentally ill, not putting them first, not responding to their needs, or being selfish.
All this is designed to transfer anxiety to the loved one in an attempt to not feel it themselves.
As you feel worse and worse, the narcissist feels better and better. In fact, they feel stronger and more superior as you feel your anxiety and depression grow.
Deeply repressed shame
Narcissists don't feel much guilt because they think they are always right, and they don't believe their behaviors really affect anyone else. But they harbor a lot of shame.
Shame is the belief that there is something deeply and permanently wrong or bad about who you are.
Buried in a deeply repressed part of the narcissist are all the insecurities, fears, and rejected traits that they are constantly on guard to hide from everyone, including themselves.
The narcissist is acutely ashamed of all these rejected thoughts and feelings.
Keeping their vulnerabilities hidden is essential to the narcissist's pretend self-esteem or false self.
Ultimately, however, this makes it impossible for them to be completely real and transparent.
An inability to be truly vulnerable
Because of their inability to understand feelings, their lack of empathy, and constant need for self-protection, narcissists can't truly love or connect emotionally with other people.
They cannot look at the world from anyone else's perspective. This makes them emotionally needy.
When one relationship is no longer satisfying, they often overlap relationships or start a new one as soon as possible.
They desperately want someone to feel their pain, to sympathize with them, and to make everything just as they want it to be.
It's a form of codependency, except they have little ability to respond to your pain or fear or even your day-to-day need for care and sympathy.
An inability to communicate or work as part of a team
Thoughtful, cooperative behaviors require a real understanding of each other's feelings.
How will the other person feel? Will this action make both of us happy? How will this affect our relationship? These are questions that narcissists don't have the capacity or the motivation to think about.
Don't expect the narcissist to understand your feelings, give in, or give up anything they want for your benefit. It's useless.
The takeaway
There are many types of narcissists, but these are some qualities they all have in common.
Keep in mind, this article is intended to outline the common signs you may be dealing with a narcissist, and is not meant to treat or diagnose anyone.
Margalis Fjelstad received her doctorate in Marriage and Family Therapy/Counseling from Oregon State University. She specializes in clients with narcissistic parents or spouses and has written two books on the topic: Healing from a Narcissistic Relationship and Stop Caretaking the Borderline or Narcissist: How to End the Drama and Get On with Life. Fjelstad has served as an adjunct professor at Regis University in Colorado Springs and at California State University in Sacramento, where collectively she has taught more than 13,000 hours of graduate courses.