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Can Grandma be too Involved? Grace for Generational Conflicts
- Lorilee Craker Author, The Wide-Eyed Wonder Years
- 2007 23 May
Kelly's mom is always telling her she'll ruin little Jadon if she doesn't potty train him before his baby sister arrives. Krista's mother-in-law constantly drops by unannounced to see her "darling boy" and then proceeds to take over his care and feeding—in Krista's house! Pam's father-in-law is appalled at the "loosey-goosey" way Pam and Brad discipline their son, and he's not afraid to tell them so, sometimes in front of little Brody.
These are true stories, unfortunately, each one told to me as I travel around speaking at moms groups. I never fail to be amazed at the angst caused by differences in opinion between young parents and their one-generation-older parents. To be honest, I can't completely relate. My parents and in-laws are pretty hands-off when it comes to how I raise my kids. Oh, I've gotten comments here and there that have bugged me at least a little. My dad thinks it's slapdash indeed when we occasionally eat a meal in front of the TV. Doyle's dad has this sort of John Wayne mentality that men of all ages shouldn't wear shorts or sandals, and he has mentioned this more than once. And one of the grandmas thinks the kids are somewhat lacking in table manners. Although that's not the way she puts it, I can clearly read between the lines.
But I've never experienced the outright rancor, competitiveness, and deep hurt between the two generations that so many young couples have felt. Whether your issues with the grandparents of your kids are just annoying, or worse, here's a guide to tackling the most common problems our generation of moms faces. I'm calling the solutions "Extreme Granny Makeover," but "Granny" in this case represents Gramps too.Granny Just Does Things Differently
Few mothers and daughters do their job of mothering in exactly the same way, so there's bound to be a little bit of misunderstanding, if not friction. In some ways, every family is a different culture, so when you marry into your husband's family, it can be like marrying into a new civilization, with varied "laws" and ways of doing things.
Kim truly married into a whole new world when she wed Sam from Nigeria. Like in any other daughter-in-law/parents-in-law relationship, there's been some need for give-and-take:
For me, I guess the touchiest stuff in our relationship comes from the difference in my culture and my husband's. Respect is a big thing in my husband's culture—right down to using titles for anyone that's even a few years older than you. It's expected that you call so-and-so Aunt or Uncle even though they aren't related, just so you aren't calling them by their first name. Trying to emphasize this extreme to my kids is going to be difficult growing up in the States. I worry that I may be criticized by his family for how my kids turn out. For now, I know in my heart that they are kind and polite for their ages—Elana already says her pleases and thank-yous at appropriate times, for example. Although we do plan to spend time in Africa as well as here, I don't know quite how the girls will be affected by all of it. My hope is that they'll take the best of both cultures and blend it into something great.
Bottom line: Different generation, different personalities, and different backgrounds shape you, your parents, and your in-laws, so Granny may well think you're doing things wrong because you're not doing things her way.
Extreme Granny makeover: Next time your mother-in-law sniffs that her little Bobby never ate "that fast-food junk," try not to get defensive. Hard, I know. Try to use a light touch to disarm her, and show her you understand at least partially where she's coming from. "I know fast food was probably worse in those days than it is now. These days they have fruit juice, milk, and applesauce on the menu for kids. We usually get the chicken strips and some apple juice when we go through the drive-through, and it's such a treat for Cate." Leave it at that, because less is more here. Try to keep in mind that she also didn't drive much when your husband was small, on account of their having one car. Her lifestyle was completely different than your mobile, out-and-about days with your little ones. She just doesn't get it.Granny Takes Charge
This one's a doozy! Granny and Gramps act as if they, not you and your husband, are the parents. They scold your preschooler in front of you; they worry about what he wears, what he watches on television, and what time he goes to bed; and they expect to spend massive amounts of time with their grandchild. Yikes!
In the next section, you'll read about Lindsay and her "perfect" mother-in-law, who also likes to take over with the grandkids whenever possible. "Now that all her kids are gone and having their own families, she still wants to have that mothering role," says Lindsay. "She tends to tell us how to parent every chance she gets. You can feel her kick into parent mode as soon as we walk in the door." Lindsay has hit on a great insight here: Granny yearns to be back in the role that defined her life, so she can't stop telling her kids how to run their lives. Essentially, she doesn't show her son and daughter-in-law the respect they deserve.
Two panel moms commented on how their kiddies' grandparents had a habit of interfering with naps (that alone is grounds for a restraining order!). "I am a scheduler," says Amy. "What I mean is I have routines for my children. My mother and in-laws go by the demand-care system. They go by what they perceive my children to need. For example, if Ashley doesn't appear tired, they might not give her a nap. But I rarely let her skip her nap."
Christy has a similar problem. "Putting the kids down for naps when grandparents are around is always hard because they don't understand that the kids need the naps; they just want to see their grandchildren." Subtext: "We know better than you when your child needs a nap."
One severe case of take-charge granny is Krista's mother-in-law. "It's like she thinks I'm a moron or something!" she vented. "Scott's mom doesn't seem to recognize boundaries in our home. She'll drop by unannounced with lunch for her precious grandson—none for me, of course! She'll even say, 'Time for your nap, sweets,' when it's time for her to leave, although he just got up from a nap when she came."
Bottom line: Who's in charge here? That's the question of the hour.
Extreme Granny makeover: Remind yourself you're in charge—you and your husband—not Granny. It's your household, your rules, your philosophy of naps. Just do things your way, be confident in your parenting choices, and enforce boundaries. For example, Krista could ask Scott to deal with his mother: "Mom, thanks so much for all the help and stuff, but we have our own way of doing things. How about this: when you take Scottie Junior on Mondays, your rules apply, and the rest of the week, our rules apply."
Take-charge grandparents are basically well meaning—they really think they can help by doing things their way—but their choleric ways undermine your confidence and authority as a parent. Maybe they could scratch that itch with more one-on-one time with the grandkids. If you could use a break (and who couldn't?), take advantage of their turbo grandparenting urges and drop off your kids for a few hours a week. If they felt more secure in their bond with the kids, maybe they would back off a little when you're around.Granny Is "Perfect"
Now, my mother-in-law is a domestic queen who cooks and cleans circles around me, but she never rubs it in my face, which is one reason we get along so well. Lindsay's MIL, in sharp contrast, seems to enjoy taking advantage of her superiority in the home arts a little too much.
I think part of what creates tension between Sue and me is the fact that she's spent the last thirty years being a "supermom." We're talking candlelight dinners, gourmet school lunches (even love notes every day on their napkins), homemade cookies after school each day, and—get this—she heats everyone's plates before every meal.
Not only do I find it hard not to compare myself to the supermom my husband grew up with, but I also struggle with the fact that she comes across as a "super-Christian." She often talks about how she spends two to three hours each morning praising and praying. I have never heard her apologize (her husband, Gerry, says she hasn't in thirty-five years of marriage), and she apparently doesn't struggle with many sins either. Sue often says she doesn't struggle with jealousy or having her feelings hurt, for example. It seems to me that she thinks she's reached the point of perfection.
Bottom line: Granny's all that and a bag of homemade cookies. How can her daughter-in-law ever hope to measure up?
Extreme Granny makeover: That's just it. No one will ever measure up to Sue, who sees herself as She Who Will Be Revered. For some reason, she has to maintain an image of "perfection," which, if I were a shrink, would lead me to believe things are not as perfect as they seem. And this bit about never saying she's sorry in thirty-five years of marriage? That's just scary. I think Granny should pray for some humility while she's on her knees for three hours a day!
Lindsay's got to resolve in her mind that Granny will never change, and that's Granny's problem. Clearly Granny's got some issues, but Lindsay cannot get hooked into this unspoken competition thing. She's got to let it go and not let her relationship with her mother-in-law become toxic. So Granny's perfect? Good for Granny. You be the best mom you can, as Lindsay is seeking to do. "I'm trying to choose to love her when she says controlling and insensitive comments," says Lindsay. "I'm trying to remain positive when she frustrates me to no end. I know I need to make the choice for my family's sake."
Next time: Confronting outdated parenting suggestions and recognizing the blessings of involved Grandparents...
Excerpted from The Wide-Eyed Wonder Years (Revell) by Lorilee Craker. Used by permission of Fleming H. Revell, a division of Baker Publishing Group, copyright (c) 2006. All rights to this material are reserved. Materials are not to be distributed to other web locations for retrieval, published in other media, or mirrored at other sites without written permission from Baker Publishing Group.
Lorilee Craker lives in Grand Rapids, Michigan, with her husband and three children. She is the author of several books for young moms, including Just Give Me a Little Piece of Quiet and We Should Do This More Often.


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TOKYO – In 2012, the UFC returned to Asia with a pair of well-received live events. If all goes according to plan in 2013, the promotions could double that total.
"More details to come, but we did two last year with Japan and Macau," UFC Executive Vice President and Managing Director of UFC Asia Mark Fischer told MMAjunkie.com (www.mmajunkie.com). "We're obviously coming back to Japan and we want to come back to Macau, and I think we want to add two more to the schedule and really go from there.
"We're looking at trying to do four this year. We would like to move to maybe five or six next year. We'll see how that goes, but that's probably the extent of what we can plan today because this is all new to the markets, and we want to see how each thing goes and build from there. But there's tremendous demand. It's really just a question of putting the resources together and applying that against the demand the best we can."
Featuring a lightweight title fight with current champ Benson Henderson and former title holder Frankie Edgar, UFC 144 took place February 2012 in Japan and marked the company's first event in Asia in more than 12 years. The company did not release the attendance figure for the show, but it was considered a sell-out.
This past November, the company made its first trip to China and hosted another sold-out event in the special administrative region of Macau.
UFC President Dana White has since touted how successful both events proved for the company, and Fischer didn't disagree. While he declined to discuss specific dates and venues, he said the company would like to visit both of those locales in 2013 and perhaps add a few more debut destinations to the business plan.
"Mainland China and Korea are definitely in consideration," Fischer said. "In addition, we're looking at several markets in Southeast Asia. For example, without committing, the Philippines, Indonesia, Thailand, Singapore are all in contention for where we may go. Again, there's a lot of demand from all of those places."
As with most of the company's target destinations, successful TV deals are a driving factor in where and when the UFC brings a live event. Following the event in Macau, Fischer announced an Indonesian partnership with the Jakarta-based MNC Media. Other deals are currently in the works throughout Asia, and UFC officials hope to continue to expand their TV presence with all the supplemental programming long familiar to U.S. fans, including "The Ultimate Fighter."
"We would be very interested to do 'The Ultimate Fighter: Japan,'" Fischer said. "We don't have a specific plan yet, but we are in discussion with a number of people. We think it would be a very good initiative to grow the UFC here, as well as the sport of MMA here. So we're very interested to do that, but a lot of the details have not been set yet."
This weekend, the promotion hosts its first Asian event of 2013 with "UFC on FUEL TV 8: Silva vs. Stann," which takes place on Sunday morning (and airs in the U.S. on Saturday night due to the time difference) at the famed Saitama Super Arena in Saitama, Japan. Compared to UFC 144, which took place one year ago at the same venue, there isn't quite as much international attention on the card, but Fischer said the combination of former PRIDE superstars, up-and-coming Asian talent and recognizable UFC veterans should provide a memorable experience for Japanese MMA fans.
"It's a different feeling, but it almost feels like this is a little bit more of a homecoming," Fischer said. "The first time was a really big, championship fight, but in some ways, this one's even more exciting because you have a lot of guys coming home, if you will, to Japan – Wanderlei Silva, Mark Hunt, Takanori Gomi with his great history here.
"I think there are a lot of great stories in this one, really just as much as the first one. It's a slightly different feeling, but it's a little bit more of that family type of feeling on this one that feels really good. I just can't wait until Sunday."
For more on UFC on FUEL TV 8, stay tuned to the UFC Rumors section of the site.
(Pictured: Mark Fischer)


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Kearny, Lawrence
Kearny, Lawrence kär´nē [key], 1789–1868, American naval officer, b. Perth Amboy, N.J.; cousin of Stephen Watts Kearny. He became a midshipman in 1807, served in the War of 1812, and later saw action in the Caribbean and Mediterranean against pirates. As commander (1840–43) of the East India squadron, he opened negotiations that resulted in the signing of a commercial treaty between China and the United States in 1844. On his way home he stopped at the Hawaiian Islands and protested the proposed cession of the islands to Great Britain.
The Columbia Electronic Encyclopedia, 6th ed. Copyright © 2023, Columbia University Press. All rights reserved.
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Mary Chapin Carpenter finds her 'Miracle'
Three years ago, Mary Chapin Carpenter's life – not to mention her music career – was thrown into question when she suffered a pulmonary embolism.
Today, she is reticent to discuss the embolism or what she went through in regaining her health.
"It's not something I want to talk about," Carpenter said. "I'd rather just talk about what I'm doing now."
The fact that Carpenter has new music (the CD, "The Age of Miracles") and a summer tour to talk about is great news.
And Carpenter can't be faulted for not wanting to discuss that health scare. It's in the past and she knows it does her no good to look back.
"I don't want to dwell on it a lot," she said. "I just want to get back to doing what I love to do, which is playing music. I don't mean to be dismissive of it, but it's not something that's going to help me to dwell on it."
Carpenter pretty much said what she wanted to say on the subject in a column she wrote for NPR radio.
"I tried to express the surprise, I guess, that I felt after getting out of the hospital and sort of realizing the seriousness of everything," Carpenter said. "I fell into a real funk, and I think that was probably normal, or natural. Looking back on it now, I can see how that all happened. You know, there's not a whole lot you can do about it."
In the NPR article, titled "The Learning Curve of Gratitude," she talked about being home a week after finishing a run of tour dates in 2007 and having serious chest pain and breathlessness that made her hurry to an emergency room. At the hospital, blood clots in her lungs were discovered and Carpenter received the treatment that saved her life.
Most of the article, though, deals with the emotional aftermath of the embolism, beginning with the frustration and guilt Carpenter felt about having to cancel an already-booked tour and having to let her band and road crew go. Then she described a period of time in which she was filled with "anxiety, fear and self-loathing – all of the ingredients of the darkness that is depression."
Carpenter explained how a simple "have a nice day" comment from a grocery clerk helped get her outlook back on track. The clerk, she wrote, truly meant those oft-spoken words, and it helped her recognize what a gift each day is, and why she should be grateful for all of life's pleasures.
That revelation helped Carpenter regain her emotional balance and the motivation to write the music fans now hear on "The Age of Miracles."
That album is a natural successor to recent CDs, such as 2004's "Between Here and Gone" and 2007's "The Calling," that have found Carpenter emphasizing a quieter, more acoustic-centered folk-pop sound than on earlier albums such as 1990s' "Shooting Straight In The Dark," 1992's "Come On, Come On" and 1994's "Stones in the Road."
Those three platinum albums elevated Carpenter to stardom, as between 1990 and 1996, she reeled off 15 top-10 singles, including the number one hits "He Think He'll Keep Her," "I Take My Chances," "Shut Up and Kiss Me" and "Down at the Twist and Shout."
While Carpenter had some of her greatest chart success with uptempo songs (such as "Shut Up and Kiss Me" and "Down at the Twist and Shout"), she has always written her share of ballads – and those songs have often provided her most insightful and meaningful moments as a songwriter. So perhaps it's only natural that Carpenter's recent CDs have leaned toward ballads and introspection.
"I don't think I've made a record that's had those sort of songs (like "Shut Up and Kiss Me" or "Down at the Twist and Shout") on them for awhile, and it hasn't really been a conscious thing or a deliberate thing," Carpenter said, noting she wrote some uptempo material ahead of recording "The Age of Miracles." "It's just when you're in the studio and you're putting something together, you want to serve the album as a whole. And they (the uptempo songs) would sort of stick out and they wouldn't feel right, I think, with the rest of the things I was wanting to do. So you know, you follow your muse and you try to just be the artist that you try to be. You just try to be as communicative and substantive as you can."
"The Age of Miracles" may be Carpenter's most musically understated work yet. The CD includes one fairly frisky pop gem in "I Put My Ring Back On" and a pair of full-bodied ballads, "The Way I Feel" and "What You Look For." But otherwise, "The Age of Miracles" is filled predominantly with artfully crafted, smartly worded acoustic ballads about the search for richness and reward in love and life.
The themes on "The Age of Miracles," Carpenter said, have populated her work throughout her career.
"I just feel like I've always written about the sort of search for connection and ultimately the pain of love, but also the benefits and the need for it, and the freedom of travel and the sense of searching that continues to go on in your life," she said.
The search for understanding, fulfillment and wisdom, she said, never stops, and she's become more keenly aware of that fact recently.
"Certainly, every part of your life is a period of growth, experimentation, exploration, inspiration," Carpenter said. "I think the last few years for me have been so difficult, and they've really just taken me places I never imagined I'd go. I mean that literally and figuratively. I guess I just feel grateful that I'm still here and still learning. That's probably the greatest blessing of all."
Carpenter also is grateful for her life as a musician. She's excited about her summer tour, in which she will perform with a full band. And while one might expect that after her health ordeal she would appreciate the opportunity to tour more than ever, Carpenter said that's not necessarily the case.
"When you go out summer after summer, year after year, I think it's fair to assume that it might become somewhat routine perhaps," she said. "I've never really felt that way. I've always felt very anticipatory about tours, especially in the summer when you can really get out and be outside at some of the beautiful venues. It's a special time. So I don't feel routine about it. I feel very, very happy about it. I don't ever want to take it for granted."
WHAT: Mary Chapin Carpenter
WHEN, WHERE, HOW MUCH: 8 p.m., June 27, Berkleee Performance Center, Boston, $56.65-$66.95; 8 p.m. July 1, Cape Cod Melody Tent, Hyannis, $38.75-$55.75


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Here's a rundown of the top stories from today's show:
We've got the latest on the President meeting the Pope and the rest of your top political headlines in 90 seconds. Go "Inside Politics" Thursday with John King.
Joby Ogwyn is an explorer like none other.
He's climbed all seven of the highest mountains in the world and then flown off those peaks in a wing suit!
In May, he will be the first person to ever fly from the summit of Mount Everest.
"I'm gonna fly down in 10 minutes," the adventurer said on "New Day" Thursday.
You can follow his progress and watch the special "EVEREST JUMP LIVE" on Discovery in May.
Oscar Pistorius killed Reeva Steenkamp on Valentine's Day last year. Of that, there is no doubt.
But was it murder?
One of South Africa's toughest prosecutors, Gerrie Nel, has been fighting for most of this month to prove it was.
Starting Friday, one of the country's shrewdest defense lawyers, Barry Roux, will try to convince a judge that it wasn't.
The verdict will hinge on two questions:
Did the Olympic sprinter know his girlfriend was behind the door in the bathroom of his house when he fired four hollow-point bullets through it in the middle of the night?
And if he did not - if he thought she was a burglar, as he insists - did he act as a reasonable person would have?
Critical testimony will come from the only living person who was in the house at the time, the "Blade Runner" himself.
Pistorius is likely to take the stand for the first time Friday to tell the story he has been telling for more than a year now.
He woke up in the middle of the night, went to his balcony to bring in a fan - or two fans, in his most recent version - heard his bathroom window opening, took his gun, went to the bathroom and fired through the door when he heard a noise in the toilet.
"It was pitch dark in the bedroom, and I thought Reeva was in bed," he testified when he applied for bail in the days after the killing.
In that version of the story, Pistorius emphasized that he "felt a sense of terror" when he heard the noise, that he "felt extremely vulnerable" because he was not wearing his prosthetic legs, and that he "has been a victim of violence and of burglaries before."
And, he said, "We were deeply in love and I could not be happier."
If Judge Thokozile Matilda Masipa believes that story, Pistorius could be acquitted of murder. She could find him guilty of the lesser charge of culpable homicide - similar to what would be called manslaughter in the United States - or find him not guilty at all.
The defense is likely to rely on three types of experts to support Pistorius' story:
Pistorius fired four shots. Three hit Steenkamp: one in the hip, one in the arm and one in the head. The shot to the head probably killed her almost instantly.
But when did that shot hit her? The prosecution says it hit her last. That means she would have been able to scream between shots - potentially giving Pistorius a moment to realize his mistake and stop shooting.
Defense lawyer Barry Roux rejected the prosecution's order of shots, though, in a heated exchange with police Capt. Christian Mangena, the prosecution ballistics expert.
Roux said the defense ballistics expert would show that the order of shots was different, and that Pistorius fired the four shots in two quick bursts - two "double taps."
Mangena said it was "impossible" for the pattern of wounds on the body to be the result of two double taps, ultimately leaving Roux sighing dismissively and promising that his own ballistics expert would explain.
Messages between Pistorius and girlfriend read in court
Oscar Pistorius threw up repeatedly as Gert Saayman, who performed the autopsy on Steenkamp, described the devastating wounds Pistorius inflicted on her.
But as gruesome as the testimony was, it is not critical to the state's case - there's no doubt, after all, who killed Steenkamp or how.
The most damning thing Saayman said was far less dramatic. Based on the contents of her stomach, the pathologist suggested that Steenkamp had probably eaten around 1 a.m., about two hours before she died.
That's a direct contradiction of Pistorius' story that they were in the bedroom by about 10 p.m., her doing yoga and him watching television, and that they went to sleep after she finished her yoga.
Roux hammered Saayman on the question of when Steenkamp last ate, going so far as to bring in academic articles for the pathologist to read, a clear sign that the defense considers it crucial to rebut that point.
Saayman did not budge.
A pathologist who attended the autopsy on behalf of Pistorius, Reggie Perumal, is due to testify for the defense
A police cell phone expert also may have found a similar inconsistency with Pistorius' timeline. Capt. Francois Moller, who downloaded the contents of Pistorius' iPhone, said it made an Internet connection for about five minutes an hour and 20 minutes before the shooting. The defense may put forward an expert of their own to explain.
Pistorius needs the judge to believe not only that there is a chance he made a genuine mistake in thinking Steenkamp was a burglar, but that his response was reasonable.
Sean Rens, a gun dealer who was selling a small arsenal to Pistorius at the time of the killing, testified that the athlete had passed a test showing he knew what the law said about firing in self-defense.
On the face of it, what Pistorius did in firing through a closed door, when he could not see an imminent threat, was neither legal nor safe, the Rens testimony suggested.
But a psychiatrist may argue that Pistorius should be judged by a different standard of reasonableness because he is a double amputee who was not wearing his prosthetics at the time.
His statement at his bail hearing implied that he should: "As I did not have my prosthetic legs on and felt extremely vulnerable, I knew I had to protect Reeva and myself. ... I felt trapped as my bedroom door was locked and I have limited mobility on my stumps."
If the judge accepts that as true, Oscar Pistorius' disability could prove to be his greatest defense.


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Local Officials Help Bicyclists Peddle Their Cause
Cyclists and pedestrians were among the biggest losers in the recently enacted highway law, which reduced funding for bicycle paths and walking trails and softened a requirement that states spend a portion of their federal aid on transportation "enhancements."
Now, advocates for commuters who ride their bikes or walk to work are counterattacking with a new lobbying strategy that relies on mayors, county executives and other municipal officials to make the case for federal investments in non-motorized transportation.
"One of the biggest parts of our effort is bringing the local success stories back up to their members," said Caron Whitaker, outgoing campaign director for the advocacy group America Bikes. "This is what the community wants. This is what local leaders want."
Supporters of bicycle and pedestrian trails see a disconnect between the views of local officials and their representatives in Congress.
During debate of the surface transportation authorization earlier this year, fiscal conservatives sought to roll back a requirement that states set aside 10 percent of their Surface Transportation Program funding for enhancements.
Among the leading critics of the set-aside was Sen. James M. Inhofe of Oklahoma, the ranking Republican on the Environment and Public Works Committee. Inhofe contended that such expenditures were "frivolous" and imposed a "one-size-fits-all" approach on states that might prefer to spend the money on roads and bridges.
But a decade ago, then-Oklahoma City Mayor Kirk Humphreys launched plans to develop a 200-plus mile system of dedicated bicycle routes in a city that transportation experts rank as the nation's most car-dependent. According to the Census Bureau, 96 percent of city residents drive alone to work. So far, a dozen trails to provide commuter and recreational access have been completed, started or are ready to go. Another 18 have been planned but not funded.
Whitaker said cities across the country are moving forward with bigger plans for bicycling.
New York is poised to debut a subsidized bicycle sharing program modeled after an established system in Washington. And Roanoke, Va., is touting a growing system of commuter and recreational bike and walking trails as the backbone of an effort to attract young workers to the city and energize its sleepy downtown.
"This isn't just something relegated to the biggest cities," Whitaker said.
The move in the recent surface transportation law to restrict spending on transportation enhancements was a reversal of Obama administration efforts to incorporate urban "livability" initiatives into its transportation policies. The idea was to encourage development, for example, near public transportation and shopping to reduce traffic congestion and pollution.
A six-year surface transportation bill proposed in 2009 by then-House Transportation and Infrastructure Chairman James L. Oberstar, D-Minn., embraced those concepts. But the House never came up with a formula for funding the bill, which faltered when the White House and Senate withheld support.
The League of American Bicyclists argues that investment in more bike and pedestrian paths can entice many drivers out of their cars.
In the Danish capital of Copenhagen — widely seen by transportation planners as a model for bicycle infrastructure — investments since 1996 in a $68.2 million network of bicycle paths will put half the area's commuters on two wheels by 2025, up from 34 percent today. By comparison, the most expensive stretches of urban freeway in the United States can cost upward of $1 billion per mile.
Andy Clarke, president of the League of American Bicyclists, said those figures make it "ironic" that lawmakers would cut funding for non-motorized commuting facilities.
Whitaker said she hopes the 113th Congress will take a fresh look at the cost savings from investing in bicycle and pedestrian routes when it takes up another surface transportation authorization in 2014.
"We truly believe the numbers speak for themselves," she said.


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After teasing us over Twitter yesterday, Lenovo has now outlined full specs and pricing for its new Q100/Q110 nettops, and D400 Home Server. Both nettops are 0.7-inches thin, and the Q110 has Nvidia Ion graphics with 1080p HDMI output.
The $349 IdeaCentre Q110 has 2GB of memory and a 250GB hard disk, versus the $249 Q100's 1GB RAM and 160GB hard drive. Both use a lowly single-core Atom 230 processor, but I guess they are tiny systems, and Atom is a requirement for Ion.
Each also has Gigabit Ethernet, an 802.11b/g Wi-Fi dongle, and run either XP Home or Vista Premium. No keyboard or mouse is included.
Meanwhile, the IdeaCentre D400 will start at about $499, and support up to 8TB of storage over four hard drives. Specs include an Atom 230 single-core CPU, 1GB memory, Gigabit Ethernet, plus 1eSATA and 5 USB ports.
The company has had a bunch of new gear of late, including the IdeaCentre C100 All-in-One and IdeaCentre Q700 HTPC.