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Back-office operations in commercial and investment banks are among those critical functions that are underappreciated until they stop working well. This includes transaction reconciliations and the related exceptions management. Reconciliations are necessary to achieve a reasonable assurance of complete and accurate record of trading activity. The process is especially challenging now, partly because of today's high and growing volumes in the wide range of asset classes in which all larger financial institutions trade. Reconciliation is a necessary accounting function that has to be completed before external financial statements can be published.
I recently received an update on SunGard's IntelliMatch Solution Suite, an application for handling reconciliation, exception management, financial governance and archiving processes that is used mainly by large financial institutions. While the software's basic function is to manage reconciliations, two aspects of IntelliMatch – financial governance and trending and analytics for rules optimization – are worth noting because of their potential to increase the effectiveness and efficiency of a financial institution's back-office operations.
Ideally, every entry in a financial institution's transaction system will match up with its trading partners' data and be internally consistent as well. In practice, this never happens because people make mistakes or omit information. To achieve the appropriate financial governance capabilities in a high-volume setting, reconciliation software must quickly and automatically identify where there are issues. When it finds these, IntelliMatch supports the follow-on actions by providing workflows and supplemental information users need to make the right decisions as well as preserve narratives and commentary about those decisions. Workflows automate the chain of reviews, approvals and attestations needed to complete the process. SunGard has added an option for a lightweight visual workflow management system so that non-IT people can easily configure (and reconfigure) these workflows to meet the dynamic requirements of the markets without having to wait for the IT department to do it. Although the bulk of reconciliation work is still done at the end of a period in batches, some financial institutions are using the process as a way to promote greater transparency of transactions, which can be used as a higher-level control to manage risk more effectively. Another benefit of the governance process is being able to speed up the end-of-period, post-close activities. SunGard expects its largest customers to be able to reduce this process from four to eight weeks to two to three weeks.
Analytics are important capabilities of IntelliMatch, and SunGard is adding to the suite on an ongoing basis. With any application designed to collect data, there is considerable value for users to be able to analyze what's there. General ledgers, for example, became more useful when business intelligence and analytics were added to provide dashboards and scorecards that help improve performance management. In the case of IntelliMatch, being able to look at, for example, the matching logic used in the reconciliation process can help determine if there are better methods or useful tweaks that can be applied to achieve a faster, higher-quality process. These sorts of analytics can be used to create alerts, assess individual and business unit performance faster and more accurately, improve the accuracy of plans and forecasts and, ultimately, fathom even complex trends in business flows.
One of the drawbacks of being underappreciated is that it seems to take a long time for back-office operations to get the kind of tools they need to improve performance, reduce costs and provide better information to executives. Over the decades, only a few senior executives have used their back offices strategically (for example, Citicorp's John Reed and, with Peter Cohen, Sandy Weill) to build their business. Money saved in operations (in this case, by eliminating swaths of hidden costs) flows directly to the bottom line, rather than having to be shared with highly compensated bankers. And tighter governance will continue to pay dividends. Banks should regularly examine how to reduce the full life-cycle cost of processing transactions. IntelliMatch should be on their list of tools to consider when they do that.
Robert D. Kugel – SVP Research


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Nos Amis/Our Friends, Inc.Children Helping Poor andHomeless People
(CHPHP)2554 Lincoln Blvd., #522Venice, CA 90291Website: www.chphp.comEmail: email@example.com
Volume 7, Issue 2
Just go to www.huffingtonpost.com/christine-schanes
in your browser and share your opinions!
Do you ever wonder who could possibly help a homeless person? The answer is each of us can help.
It's called direct service - helping someone in need ourselves.
But how? There are many ways to help a person in need, including giving a homeless person a blanket. That's how we started Children Helping Poor and Homeless People.
There is a law that prohibits sleeping on a beach in Los Angeles County at night. However, prior to 1988, this law did not apply to the area known as Venice Beach. So people without homes came to Venice Beach to sleep legally on the beach. Further, police officers would escort homeless people to Venice Beach so they had a legal place to sleep.
By the winter of 1987, there were hundreds of homeless people sleeping legally each night on Venice Beach. Each morning, some of these homeless people would leave the beach and walk by our home in Venice on their way to spend the day at a local park. The park had benches where the homeless people could sit, swings for their children and bathrooms that were open for public use free of charge.
At night, these homeless people would often walk past our home on their way back to the beach to sleep.
I must admit that I had fears about the homeless strangers who passed by my home on what seemed like a daily basis. I also had genuine concerns about their welfare when I saw homeless children, women and men without clothing appropriate for the weather. I was particularly moved when I saw a pregnant woman without shoes walking on the cold sidewalk.
I told my best friend and teacher, Augustine LaFontaine, that I didn't know what I should do about the homeless people walking by my home.
Augustine responded, "Well, give them a blanket."
"Okay, I'll bring a blanket to The Salvation Army."
"No," said Augustine, a little louder this time, "give them a blanket."
"Okay, I'll bring a blanket to Goodwill," I said, a little worried about where this conversation was going.
"No," said Augustine, obviously for the last time, "give THEM a blanket."
Upon arriving home, I found an extra yellow blanket, got back into my car and drove until I saw a homeless man walking down the sidewalk.
Parking, but leaving the car door ajar, I took the blanket and approached the homeless man.
"Excuse me sir," I said timidly, "would you like this blanket?"
The man made no response.
Over the years, we have found that when sharing items with homeless people, it was more respectful to say, "Excuse me, do you know anyone who could use this blanket?" But this was the first time we performed direct service so we just did our best.
I really did not know what to say next. So, I repeated myself, but this time I spoke more loudly, "Excuse me sir, would you like this blanket?"
There was still no response from the man.
So, I extended the blanket toward the man and his arms came up to accept the blanket.
Going back to my car, I was halfway across the street when the homeless man called out,
"Thank you! God bless you, Sister."
"You're welcome, Sir. God bless you."
I was very surprised at how good I felt.
At home, I found my children, Chrissy, 8 years old, and Patrick, 6 years old, sitting at the kitchen table with some of their neighborhood friends.
Excitedly, I told them how great I felt because I had just given a blanket directly to a homeless man.
Chrissy looked up and said, "Well, Mom, we could do that."
Patrick nodded his head in agreement.
I had to agree with my children that they could indeed give a blanket to a homeless person, just like I had done. Their friends wanted to help, too.
The friends all ran to their own homes and soon came back with blankets for homeless people. After getting the permission of their parents, I took the friends, my children and fifteen blankets to the beach.
It took under five minutes to give away the fifteen blankets to grateful homeless people. Chrissy, Patrick and their friends were so happy that they were able to give the blankets directly to people in need. On the way home, the children discussed what they had learned:
"It really was fun to help those people!"
"I didn't know what it was going to be like. I met really nice people."
"They're just like us."
With the help of thousands of spirited volunteers as well as generous donors, Children Helping Poor and Homeless People has become a nationally recognized, educational outreach program conducted by children and teens with adult advisors that encourages direct service.
By clicking on the Donate button above, you will immediately be connected to the totally secure services of Paypal where you can donate to CHPHP using your major credit card.
Just fill in the amount of your donation in the "Price" column. The quantity should be 1.
Paypal will immediately make a receipt for your donation and you can print it out for your records.
Also, Paypal will immediately send you an email confirming your donation.
Further, by filling out the shipping information, CHPHP will "ship"/send you our tax-deductible receipt in the US mail for your donation with our sincere thanks to you!
Please note that if you would like to make your donation in honor of a person(s), we are delighted to send that person(s) a beautiful Gift Acknowledgement Card informing that person(s) that you have made a generous donation in the person(s) honor. Just email CHPHP at firstname.lastname@example.com and indicate the person(s) you are honoring plus their mailing address, CHPHP will do the rest.
We hope that this new, totally secure, convenient way to donate to CHPHP will inspire everyone to help children and adults in need. Thank you!
Our annual CHPHP Thanksgiving In A Box program took place on Monday, November 23 and it was a great success!
Hundreds of Thanksgiving feasts were donated from schools, groups and individuals, including Brentwood School, Echo Horizon School, Our Lady of Malibu, Scout Troop 344 of Mar Visa Elementary School and The Beverly Hills Active Adult Club.
These nutritious and delicious bounties, truly groceries for the week, were shared with families in need in Culver City, Santa Monica and Los Angeles.
We thank each and every donor, distributor and volunteer for their incredible contribution to helping children and their families in need.
As always, we dedicated our CHPHP Thanksgiving In A Box Program in honor of Audrey, our beloved friend. Please see a picture of Audrey and the pictures of the event in this newsletter.
- Mohandas Gandhi
Did You Know?
The San Diego Regional Task Force on the Homeless in its Homeless 2009 Point In Time Count found that in San Diego County there are a total of 7,892 homeless people of whom:
• 4,014 homeless people are living on the streets
• 965 homeless people are living in emergency shelters
• 2,913 homeless people are living in transitional housing
(Press "Back" on your browser to return to the CHPHP website when finished)

subset: commoncrawl


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Michael Bisping. Dan Hardy. Conor McGregor?
The first two have held the Cage Warriors Fighting Championship belt in their respective weightclasses. They've helped put Britain on the map during the UFC's explosive rise, and they've fought for thousands.
McGregor probably has fought more for hundreds in four years on the scene. His native Ireland has been underrepresented on the international stage; none of his countryman currently reside in the octagon.
But in his animated lilt, McGregor said that's going to change, and change begins with the Cage Warriors featherweight belt, which is up for grabs.
"None of us have made it yet," he told MMAjunkie.com Radio (www.mmajunkie.com/radio). "I feel like I'm leading the pack. This is the biggest belt and Irishman has fought for."
McGregor said he should be ranked No. 1 in Europe, and claims he's ranked that in knockouts and among the top-five for his overall knockout ratio. The rest, he said, are lumbering heavyweights that knock each other out, anyway.
"I'm the only featherweight in there," he said.
But unless McGregor (10-2) lets those hands go and finds his opponent's chin, he likely won't be doing much striking at Cage Warrior 47, which takes place Saturday at The Helix in Dublin, Ireland, and streams live on MMAjunkie.com at 4 p.m. ET (1 p.m. PT).
Dave Hill (10-2) is a Brit with an identical record. But where the McGregor has eight first-round knockouts (and 10 KOs overall), he has eight career submissions, and six of them have come in the first round.
"Dave's a solid guy," McGregor said. "He's been in there with some tough guys. He's never been stopped. I'm the No. 1 in Europe, but supposedly, he fought the No. 1 in Europe, and he lost that fight but he couldn't be finished. Blah, blah, blah, so let's see."
McGregor is having a hard time focusing on much this week, other than food, so he's a little bit loopy leading up to the fight. MMA nutritionists are perhaps underrepresented in Ireland, too.
"To be honest, cutting this weight with very few meals, sometimes I just get angry," he said. "I'm more calm than this. But when I have no meals…talk to me Friday after weigh-in, I'll be happy as Larry, but right now, I'm ready to hurt this guy, and I mean that."
Hunger aside, the Irish striker said he's trained harder for this fight than any other in his career.
"There's no messing about here," McGregor said. "I've been putting in serious training here. More rounds, more miles. Everything is upped a notch.
"This is five rounds, but I feel like I'm ready to go 55 rounds. Let's see if he can give me five rounds. I don't think he's getting out of the first round. But we'll see."
McGregor's ultimate goal is to create enough of a groundswell that big promotions come calling. Another knockout and a belt might be just the ticket.
"I'm going to be headlining a show at the Mandalay Bay one day," he said. "Trust me on that."
For more on Cage Warriors 47, stay tuned to the MMA Rumors section of the site.
MMAjunkie.com Radio broadcasts Monday-Friday at noon ET (9 a.m. PT) live from Mandalay Bay Resort & Casino's Race & Sports Book. The show is hosted by "Gorgeous" George Garcia, MMAjunkie.com lead staff reporter John Morgan and producer Brian "Goze" Garcia. For more information or to download past episodes, go to www.mmajunkie.com/radio.


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Crespi, Juan
Crespi, Juan hwän krās´pē [key], 1721–82, Spanish explorer in the Southwest, a Franciscan. He came to America in 1749, and in 1767 he went to the peninsula of California in charge of Mission Purísima Concepción. In 1769 he joined the expedition of Gaspar de Portolá to occupy San Diego and Monterey and continued up the coast with Portolá. The following year he founded the Mission San Carlos Borromeo, in the present-day Carmel-by-the-Sea, which became his headquarters. He was chaplain of the expedition to the N Pacific conducted by Juan Pérez in 1774. His diaries, published in H. E. Bolton's Fray Juan Crespi (1927, repr. 1971), provided valuable records of these expeditions.
The Columbia Electronic Encyclopedia, 6th ed. Copyright © 2023, Columbia University Press. All rights reserved.
See more Encyclopedia articles on: U.S. History: Biographies


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Staying fit is more important to Rafa Nadal in 2014 than adding to his 13 grand slam titles, the world number one was quoted as saying on Friday.
Spaniard Nadal had one of the best season's of his career in 2013 following his return in February after seven months out with a knee injury, winning 10 tournaments including a record eighth French Open crown and a second U.S. Open title.
As he gears up for the start of the 2014 tour, the 27-year-old Mallorcan told Spain's As newspaper remaining healthy and being able to challenge at the top level were his priorities.
"What I want is to be able to start the year well and in shape to compete in the big tournaments," Nadal said.
"In that sense, and thinking about 2014, I am not going to talk at the moment about winning the ninth Roland Garros or winning Wimbledon again, which would be the third time.
"No, look: what is important to me is to maintain my fitness in a way that will allow me to play the whole year, and competing at a good level.
"You see it's not easy: I couldn't do that, for the whole season, in 2012, 2013."
Nadal's 10 titles last season came close to matching the best year of his career, when he won 11 in 2005, including his first Roland Garros crown.
He said his enforced rest in the second half of 2012 had meant he was fresh and hungry on his return and that was possibly why he had been so successful.
"In terms of results, I don't know if 2013 was the best year of my career," Nadal told As.
"What made it special was the feeling of being able to compete again at the level I managed.
"But certainly 2013 was the most emotional of my career. If you ask me about the key elements of what happened I think I started playing when I was fresher than ever after a seven-month rest. That may have been the key to the successes."
Nadal will get his next crack at a grand slam when the Australian Open starts in Melbourne in mid January.
He is playing compatriot and world number three David Ferrer at an invitational event in Abu Dhabi later on Friday.
(For more sports news and updates, follow Ahram Online Sports on Twitter at @AO_Sports and on Facebook at AhramOnlineSports.)


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Momentum on defense is a powerful thing. Force an opponent into a dry spell and a team can seize an opportunity to win big games.
That's the message the Knicks have been receiving in the locker room. Judging by what they did to the Utah Jazz, it appears they are getting the message.
Carmelo Anthony scored 34 points on 11-of-19 shooting, and the Knicks pulled away for a 92-83 victory on Monday night that kept them one game back of the final Eastern Conference playoff berth.
Tyson Chandler added 15 points and nine rebounds, while J.R. Smith scored 13 points and Raymond Felton chipped in 12 points and six assists to help New York (32-43) finish 3-2 on its western trip.
Anthony knew it would be tough for the Knicks to pull it out in a traditionally tough road environment.
"Any time you play against Utah on their home court, it is always going to be a grind out there," Anthony said. "I've been playing them for years. Coming in and out here, a lot of battles and a lot of scars. They are always going to play tough."
It wasn't just Anthony willing his team to victory. The Knicks made a collective effort to clamp down on the perimeter in the second half and keep Utah from shooting its way back into the game.
New York shot 47 percent (33 of 70) from the field while holding Utah to just 39 percent (33 of 85).
"We really got into them with our perimeter play," Chandler said. "The guys did an excellent job tonight of closing off the dribble. Even when we did get beat, we would kind of stand on their hip and funnel them into a tough situation, which allowed myself, Cole (Aldrich) and some other bigs to come over and help."
Gordon Hayward scored 18 points, Alec Burks added 17 off the bench and Derrick Favors chipped in 13 points and 13 rebounds for the Jazz, who lost for the 16th time in their last 18 contests.
Utah controlled the glass, outrebounding New York 50-38. The Jazz had a 19-7 edge in second-chance points and a 42-36 edge in points in the paint. It didn't matter in the end because Utah went ice cold in a crucial second-half stretch where it produced a single basket in 7 ½ minutes.
"We hit that little lull where we just can't score and that is the difference in the game," Jazz coach Tyrone Corbin said. "It happened again tonight and we just have to keep fighting and get better."
The Knicks scored on four straight possessions during a 15-2 run in the third quarter. Chandler punctuated the spurt with a layup, giving New York a 63-55 advantage. The Knicks hit 6-of-9 shots to open the quarter.
The Jazz chipped away and tied it at 67 on Burks' 3-pointer over Anthony, but the Knicks turned up the defense to seize control.
The Jazz then made just one basket over a 7 ½-minute stretch spanning the third and fourth quarters as the Knicks went on a 17-2 run. Anthony drained a pair of baskets to cap the run and give New York an 84-69 lead with 9:53 left in the fourth quarter.
"He's doing a lot of the little things," New York coach Mike Woodson said. "He's done that all season. He's been there when we needed him and now everybody is starting to chip in. It doesn't matter who plays. They're really taking advantage of the minutes they're getting."
New York jumped on the Jazz quick before quickly fading in the first quarter. The Knicks hit 7-of-9 shots to open the quarter and took a 15-10 lead when Smith drained a jumper and Chandler threw down an alley-oop dunk on consecutive possessions.
The Jazz hit their first four baskets from 3-point range. The third one, from Trey Burke, put Utah in front for the first time at 18-15 and the fourth, from Hayward, put the Jazz back ahead 21-19 after Anthony made a pair of baskets to help New York reclaim the lead.
Burks made back-to-back baskets and then fed Favors for a layup to boost Utah's lead to 40-30.
New York trimmed the lead down at the free throw line when the Jazz got into foul trouble. The Knicks made 5-of-6 free throws before Smith's fadeaway 3-pointer a second before halftime cut it to 49-48.


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Some Viewer's Guides will tell you about who to watch to catch amazing three-point shooting, or outstanding defensive skills, or spectacular rebounding. Not this one. This Viewer's Guide highlights the hottest All-Stars to keep your eyes on during the NBA All-Star Game tomorrow night. You can find the X's and O's anywhere, we're trying to help you enjoy the scenery along the way.
Gilbert Arenas
#0 – Washington Wizards – G – 6'4″ – 210 – 25 years old
A Cali boy with gorgeous brown eyes and a cut bod, Gilbert is an ace on the court and at playing Halo. He's one of the Good Guys in Sports, officially (according to The Sporting News). He's also not easily intimidated- he wears the #0 jersey in reference to the number of minutes all the naysayers said he would play at the University of Arizona. Looks like he got the last laugh.
Vince Carter
#15 – New Jersey Nets – G/F – 6'6″ – 220 – 30 years old
Vince is one of the most popular players in the NBA- and that can't be just because of his aerial feats… his killer smile has to be part of the equation. In addition to his hoops acumen, he's a talented musician- he played saxophone and baritone in high school, and received a music scholarship offer for college. Thank goodness for us he's on the court, rather than hidden away in an orchestra pit.
Dwight Howard
#12 – Orlando Magic – C/F- 6'11" – 265 – 21 years old
Dwight's striking good looks make him a tall, cool drink of water to look at on the court- but he's also a rising basketball star whose skills shine there as well. He won the 2004 Naismith Award as the top high school player in the nation, and was a unanimous Rookie All-Star the next year. Plus, how cute is it that his favorite movies are "Finding Nemo" and "Friday"? That's a man who likes variety.
Allen Iverson
#3 – Denver Nuggets – G – 6'0″ – 165 – 31 years old
Allen has a combination of swagger and skills that makes him irresistable – and those cut arms and beautiful eyes don't hurt. In addition to being a kickass basketball player (multiple-time All-Star, 1997 Rookie of the Year, 2001 NBA MVP) he's also an artist who draws in his spare time. He was The Answer in Philly for a long time, and now he's Denver's Answer in a 1-2 punch with 'Melo. Le sigh.
LeBron James
#23 – Cleveland Cavaliers – F – 6'8″ – 240 – 22 years old
A certifiable phenom, LeBron has picked up practically every honor there is- from 2003 High School Player of the Year to number one draft to 2004 Olympic team member to first-team NBA All-Star. He's humble amidst the superstar-fame, wearing the #23 jersey in honor of his idol Jordan. He's cute as a button, with a great sense of humor and lovely smile– and the guy's got a killer fashion sense.
Tony Parker
#9 – San Antonio Spurs – G – 6'2″ – 180 – 24 years old
It seems like Tony's become famous as "Mr. Eva Longoria", but Eva's just proof of what's been known for awhile… Tony's hot. Hot on the court, sure (with his amazing speed and 2 NBA championship rings), but just hot in general, too. Is it the French accent? The ability to speak multiple languages? The charming smile? His love of playing games on his PS2? Whatever it is, the hotness cannot be denied.
Dwyane Wade
#3 – Miami Heat – G – 6'4″ – 212 – 25 years old
If Dwyane wasn't already married, he'd be the NBA's Most Eligible Bachelor, hands-down. It seems there's not an award he hasn't won- including one of People's 50 Most Beautiful People, one of ESPN's Top 25 Athletes, and a championship ring with the Heat. He also gives his time and money to numerous charities. Plus, there's the small matter of his smokin' hotness. So he's got that goin' for him…


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June 14th, 2011
Top evangelical to Anthony Weiner: Try Jesus
By Dan Gilgoff, CNN.com Religion Editor
(CNN) - One of the nation's most prominent evangelicals has entered the debate over whether Anthony Weiner will benefit from therapy, encouraging the embattled Jewish New York congressman to try Jesus instead.
Albert Mohler, president of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, tweeted this message of the weekend: "Dear Congressman Weiner: There is no effective 'treatment' for sin. Only atonement, found only in Jesus Christ."
The tweet set some tongues a wagging, especially because Weiner is Jewish.
USA Today said the remark echoed Fox News' Brit Hume comment that golfer Tiger Woods, a Buddhist, should try Christianity after he became embroiled in a sex scandal last year.
Mohler, who leads the flagship school of the Southern Baptist Convention - the nation's largest evangelical denomination - took to his blog Tuesday to defend himself amid the controversy, noting that his tweet "never mentioned Judaism."
"Rep. Weiner's problem has to do with the fact that he is a sinner, like every other human being, regardless of religious faith or affiliation," Mohler wrote. "Christians — at least those who hold to biblical and orthodox Christianity — believe that salvation is found through faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, and in him alone."
Mohler called the controversy over his tweet "another sign of how politically incorrect biblical Christianity is becoming in our times."
What do you think? Is Mohler simply stating Christian doctrine? Or is it improper to suggest that members of other religious traditions who are facing crises try Jesus?
soundoff (968 Responses)
About this blog
The CNN Belief Blog covers the faith angles of the day's biggest stories, from breaking news to politics to entertainment, fostering a global conversation about the role of religion and belief in readers' lives. It's edited by CNN's Daniel Burke with contributions from Eric Marrapodi and CNN's worldwide news gathering team.


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Close enough to feel
the fresh turned gravel
through my thin-soled shoes.
No fake grass to obscure
the reality of that bare hole.
Rifles popped and echoed.
A far away bugle gave us
the saddest of all Amens,
which chilled and chilled.
My father shuddered
and pulled me close.
Embarrassed and ashamed for him,
I watched tear drops leave his eyes
to fall on that ground
which was only beginning to show
its insatiable hunger
for the young men of our town.
— Max Yoho
These poems are by Topekan Max Yoho, a native Kansan, retired machinist, and Kansas author. All were originally published in Felicia, These Fish Are Delicious, Dancing Goat Press, © 2004 by Max Yoho


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Let's go for the 499th post on this blog!
For the very first purchase, most of us usually choose The Complete Ultimate Computer Package which comprises of the monitor, cpu, mouse and all those stuffs given away as "free gifts" and, and and… The Printer…. either the simple one or the "10 in one" printer which can be used for everything; from calling your friends to making photocopies.
Yes, the printer works wonderfully well for some time until the ink gets over or worst; "Ou lencre ine sek missier, akoz ou pas fine servi printer la souvent!" And its only then that you find out that replacing the cartridges is really costly… You either end up buying another printer with 2 new cartridges or remain printer-less for the rest of your life, happily! No more headache about paper jams, neither any worries about how to keep the device alive.
I believe that more than 1/2 of us do not bother buying another printer. Because with time, you realise that you can live without it. Printing a document costs only about Rs2 per page but there's always a cheaper alternative : Your neighbour or next door cousin!
My first (and last) printer lasted for less than 2 years and I was lucky that I did not encounter any major problems with it. I still don't remember if it broke down or I threw it away when I no more needed it. And I can say that I am not interested to buy another one…
Today, I wanna how many among you (still) have (or not?) a printer… as simple as that!
Image from here.


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Hey wonderful bloggers! 🙂
Today's post will be a bit different and will be posting some inspirational quotes and phrases that I found online and on one of my fave sites, Pinterest! These are some amazing quotes that really touched my heart and made my day and hope you guys will feel the same way! I'm sure these will motivate you and make you feel better with any obstacles that you're facing 🙂 Sending positive vibes your way ❤
Last but not least, don't forget that you all amazing bloggers out there are
Hope you guys enjoyed this quick post and hopefully it was an inspiring post for all of you lovely bloggers 🙂
Until next time,
Let's connect on social media! ❤
Facebook: Beyoutiful
Instagram: The Beyoutiful Blog


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The Conversation Blog at the Chronicle of Higher Ed hosted a roundtable on Spielberg's recent release Lincoln:
As viewers flock to see Lincoln, and reviewers rave about Daniel Day-Lewis's performance, historians are raising different issues: How accurate is the film's portrayal of emancipation? What does it leave out? The Chronicle Review asked several scholars to weigh in.
Posts include:
Kate Masur, "A Filmmaker's Imagination, and a Historian's"
Harold Holzer, "Reel Lincoln: The Case for the Spielberg Film"
Barbara Krauthamer, "Slavery's Grotesque and Relentless Violence"
Nina Silber, "Spielberg: Reconciliation or Reconstruction?"
Thavolia Glymph, "Untellable Human Suffering"


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|System: PC, PS3*, Xbox 360
|Dev: Radical Entertainment
|Pub: Activision
|Release: April 24, 2012
|Players: 1
|Screen Resolution: 480p-1080p
|Blood and Gore, Drug Reference, Intense Violence, Sexual Themes, Strong Language
When completed, each set of side quests, black boxes, lairs, and field ops will unlock a unique upgrade to a certain skill-set. Defensive includes health or defense perks, Locomotion improves your ability to move and evade, and so on. Between Blackwatch's helicopters, tanks, and seemingly endless supplies of soldiers and Mercer's mutants, a lot stands in your way. The side quests are optional, but to survive it's in your best interest to do as much as you can so you can be as powerful as possible when it's finally you against Mercer.
Once you beat the game you can go at it again on a harder difficulty or to find any collectibles you might have missed your first time around, or you can beat the plethora of Radnet missions that are scattered about the game world. These missions differ from the story-based ones because they're more about testing your skills in various challenges that can have you dive-bombing groups of soldiers, racing across rooftops like in the cargo missions, and much more. Completing the Radnet missions will reward you with bonus content like developer diaries and character skins. The main story took me over fifteen hours to finish, but I'll freely admit that some of that time was spent wreaking havoc just because I could.
There is a lot to love about this game, so long as what you love includes hacking through anything and everything that's unfortunate enough to get in your way and looking like a total badass as you leap tall buildings in a single bound or nonchalantly toss a helicopter into a tank. This is chaotic, visceral fun at its best that will easily please action fans the gorehounds alike. Prototype 2 is a brutal blockbuster that improves over the original in every way. If you're looking to get your destructive fix, look no further.
Adam Dodd
Contributing Writer
Date: April 24, 2012
Game Features:


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Hillsboro Junk Removal Specialists
Hillsboro Junk Removal Specialists
You don't have to make junk a burden. Let us take care of it for you! Hire Hillsboro Junk Removal Specialists, and we'll make sure that all the clutter in your home or rental property is gone by noon on Friday – including any construction debris from new development sites close by where you live. We provide complete service at an affordable price without compromising quality so please give us call today if this sounds like something up your alley because there's no hassle worse than trying find someone who will do what needs done fast enough when they're not feeling too busy themselves…
Business Name:
Hillsboro Junk Removal Specialists
5301 W Baseline RdHillsboro Oregon 97123United States
About Hillsboro
Hillsboro ( HILZ-burr-oh) is the fifth-largest city in the U.S. state of Oregon and is the county seat of Washington County. Situated in the Tualatin Valley on the west side of the Portland metropolitan area, the city hosts many high-technology companies, such as Intel, locally known as the Silicon Forest. At the 2020 census, the city's population was 106,447.For thousands of years the Atfalati tribe of the Kalapuya lived in the Tualatin Valley near the later site of Hillsboro. The climate, moderated by the Pacific Ocean, helped make the region suitable for fishing, hunting, food gathering, and agriculture. Settlers founded a community here in 1842, later named after David Hill, an Oregon politician.
Neighborhoods in Hillsboro, Oregon
53rd Avenue Community Park, AmberGlen, Arbor Lodge, Arbor Roses, Ashcreek, Bethany, Bonny Slope, Brookwood Crossing, Cedar Mill, Central Beaverton, Crestwood, Denney Whitford, Downtown Hillsboro, Edgefield HOA, Far Southwest
Things to do in Hillsboro, Oregon
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Most of 2,300 physicians surveyed statewide said they were confused about their participation in health networks sold on the Covered California exchange, which has led to negative impacts on patient care, according to results released Thursday.
The California Medical Association sent e-mails to physicians who were members of medical associations statewide and received responses to 15 questions in two days. At least 80 percent of those who responded said they were confused about their participation status in the new networks. More than half said they lost patients.
The survey results and letter were sent to Covered California Executive Director Peter Lee late last month.
"The state of confusion over Covered California networks needs to be addressed before the next open enrollment period," Dr. Richard Thorp, president of the California Medical Association, said in a statement. "This survey shows that the mass confusion about participation status for both patients and physicians has led to patient access issues, loss of patients and has negatively impacted patient care in our state."
Covered California, the state's health exchange, opened its first enrollment period on Oct. 1 and closed it in mid-April. About 1.4 million Californians enrolled through the exchange statewide, representing 17 percent of all those who bought health insurance across the U.S.
More than 30 percent enrolled in plans offered by Anthem Blue Cross, 27 percent in Blue Shield, and nearly 19 percent in Health Net.
During a board meeting Thursday, Covered California officials outlined some of the improvements that need to be made to ensure the adequacy of networks, but said the largest networks already expanded the number of providers.
In their own analysis, Covered California officials found there were less than 200 cases of patients who reported problems with continuity of care since January.
In the first quarter of this year, 1,100 complaints were made to the Department of Managed Health Care.
"Health plans are continuing to expand their networks to assure adequate capacity, including additional clinicians and groups being added by Anthem, Shield and Health Net," according to Covered California.
A similar statement was made Thursday by the California Association of Health Plans, which added that the medical association's release of the results are part of the group's backing of a bill that would allow physicians to opt out of services within a network.
"There are certainly growing pains from the overhaul of our health care system, but unfortunately some groups are trying to use this as an excuse to pursue a policy that is harmful to the success of Covered California," said the association's executive vice president Charles Bacchi.
Molly Weedn spokeswoman for the medical association, said physicians just want to be able to help patients.
"The biggest concern for CMA's members is to have the most information they can when patients call them," she said. "Access to health care is more than just a card in your pocket."


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All Boy Shower Themes
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ⓗHow to Play Guess Baby Food Game: You will need to prepare (or buy) 8 different varieties of pureed baby food and set them out in market with numbers bowls.
Print and distribute the Guess Baby Food Game Cards and ask your guests to investigate the food by sight, smell or touch (no tasting). The Guest who guesses the most flavors correctly wins.
☞We have over 35 matching designs and even more printable files for this Boy Owl Theme – please search on our website for a "aa70bs" (this is a theme code)
Have any idea? We are happy to be busy with your custom orders! We can design almost everything, just let us know!
✔ You will get 1 .JPG file - 5x7" for a Photo Printing and one .PDF file with 2 Boy Owl Printable baby Food Game Card per page. You can print as many as you need.
ⓟPERSONALIZATION: This Boy Owl Guess Baby Food Game can be personalized with NAME, date and you can have even different color for an extra charge - please contact us prior to the order for a quote/price (don't forget to write the SKU(code) of the design you like).
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© ADLY PRINTS, 2010-2015. All right reserved. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of these images and materials without express and written permission from ADLY PRINTS authors and owners is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to ADLY PRINTS – INVITATIONS AND PARTY DESIGNS, with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.


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On Feb. 1, 2003, the space shuttle Columbia broke up during re-entry, killing all seven of its crew members.
On this date:
In 1790, the U.S. Supreme Court convened for the first time in New York. (However, since only three of the six justices were present, the court recessed until the next day.)
In 1861, Texas voted to leave the Union at a Secession Convention in Austin.
In 1862, ??The Battle Hymn of the Republic," a poem by Julia Ward Howe, was published in the Atlantic Monthly.
In 1922, in one of Hollywood's most enduring mysteries, movie director William Desmond Taylor was shot to death in his Los Angeles home; the killing has never been solved.
In 1942, the Voice of America broadcast its first program to Europe, relaying it through the facilities of the British Broadcasting Corp. in London.
In 1943, one of America's most highly decorated military units, the 442nd Regimental Combat Team, made up almost exclusively of Japanese-Americans, was authorized.
In 1946, Norwegian statesman Trygve Lie was chosen to be the first secretary-general of the United Nations.
In 1960, four black college students began a sit-in protest at a Woolworth's lunch counter in Greensboro, N.C., where they'd been refused service.
In 1979, Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini received a tumultuous welcome in Tehran as he ended nearly 15 years of exile.
In 1991, 34 people were killed when an arriving USAir jetliner crashed atop a commuter plane on a runway at Los Angeles International Airport.
In 1993, Gary Bettman took office as the NHL's first commissioner.
Ten years ago: At least 50 people were killed in a Zimbabwe train collision. Former Agriculture Secretary Richard Lyng died in Modesto, Calif., at age 84.
Five years ago: Exxon Mobil posted the largest annual profit by a U.S. company ? $40.6 billion ? and the biggest quarterly profit to that time, breaking its own records.
One year ago: Facebook announced plans to go public with a stock offering. (The social network priced its IPO at $38 per share, but the stock started to fall soon after the first day of trading.) A Southern California woman who'd filed a small-claims action against Honda won her lawsuit when a judge ruled that the automaker had misled her about the potential fuel economy of her hybrid car. (However, another judge overturned the nearly $10,000 small claims judgment in May 2012.) In Port Said, Egypt, at least 74 people were killed after soccer fans rushed the field following an upset victory by the home team over Egypt's top club. Don Cornelius, 74, creator of ??Soul Train," died in Los Angeles of a self-inflicted gunshot wound. Boxing trainer Angelo Dundee died in Tampa, Fla., at age 90.
Today's Birthdays: Gospel singer George Beverly Shea is 104. Actor Stuart Whitman is 85. Singer Don Everly is 76. Actor Garrett Morris is 76. Singer Ray Sawyer (Dr. Hook and the Medicine Show) is 76. Bluegrass singer Del McCoury is 74. Jazz musician Joe Sample is 74. TV personality- singer Joy Philbin is 72. Comedian Terry Jones is 71. Sen. Mike Enzi, R-Wyo., is 69. Opera singer Carol Neblett is 67. Rock musician Mike Campbell (Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers) is 63. Blues singer-musician Sonny Landreth is 62. Actor-writer-producer Bill Mumy (MOO'-mee) is 59. Rock singer Exene Cervenka is 57. Actor Linus Roache is 49. Princess Stephanie of Monaco is 48. Country musician Dwayne Dupuy (Ricochet) is 48. Actress Sherilyn Fenn is 48. Lisa Marie Presley is 45. Comedian-actor Pauly Shore is 45. Actor Brian Krause is 44. Jazz musician Joshua Redman is 44. Rock musician Patrick Wilson (Weezer) is 44. Actor Michael C. Hall is 42. Rock musician Ron Welty is 42. Rapper Big Boi (Outkast) is 38. Roots rocker Jason Isbell is 34. Country singer Julie Roberts is 34.
Thought for Today: ??Happiness is a by-product. You cannot pursue it by itself." ? Sam Levenson, American humorist (1911-1980).


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i'm new here
i hope that I am welcome in this forum site.
I hope to learn more from this site
Hello kayeah24
Welcome to the Java Programming Forums. You are very welcome here!
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Daimler Trucks Growing its Business in Asia and Africa Through MFTBC and DICV
In order to get stronger results from its commercial vehicles division, Daimler has been working hard to establish itself in new growth markets, particularly in Asia and Africa. Key here is Daimler Trucks' "Asia Business Model" that allows it to gain traction through 'stronger bundling and optimization' of operations within the region. Important facilities within the region are major contributors to the division's growth. Among these facilities are the Kawasaki, Japan-based Mitsubishi Fuso Truck and Bus Corporation (MFTBC), as well as the Daimler India Commercial Vehicles (DICV) facility in Chennai, India. Daimler Trucks has a 2015 target of 500,000 units sold for that year, and a loftier 2020 target of… Continue Reading »


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Residential and Commercial Construction | Stroudsburg, PA
Ground was broken on our home in May, 2016. We marked our calendar and visited several weekends a month. The crew was amazing to watch. Joe and Jason worked together keeping us involved and informed. The excitement that surrounded this process has been infectious I often mention though, without the level of trust and confidence we have in Joe, we could have never visited and been fully satisfied.
Just as promised we were able to share Thanksgiving in our New Dream home!! Thank you Joe and your entire team. We will love and appreciate it forever!!!
Joanna & John


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Anyone intersted in entering let me know, the details are below:
1. Pick a number that you think will be the total of the shirt numbers of all the scorers in the FA cup final.
2. Guess the time of the first goal. In the event of a tie the entrant whose guess is closest to the time of the first goal will be declared the winner.
3. All times and goalscorers will be as published on www.thefa.com
4. Own goals, extra time and penalties count
Stephen Gerrard (no 8) scores in the 33rd minuteDidier Drogba (no 11) scores in the 58th minute.
Scores are level at full time.
During extra time:
Stephen Gerrard (No 8) scores again in the 100th minute.Jordan Henderson (No 14) scores in the 118th minute
Liverpool win the FA Cup
The result is calculated as 8 + 11 + 8 + 14 = 41
Whoever's guess is closest to 41 wins the prize.
A list of entries and the results will be posted onto our Facebook page at
The aim of the competition is to raise money for the club. 50% of the proceeds will go to the club and the remaining 50% to the Competition Winner(s).
Please feel free to enter as many entries as you can afford (£5 per entry). Please encourage family, friends, work colleagues etc to participate, the more the merrier!
If we can encourage 50 people to participate, you can win £125 for a £5 stake.


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Hi everyone, happy weekend to you all! Last night I was in Roseville and I gave a presentation for Home Depot in partnership with their resident garden expert Skip. He taught us all a few new things about container gardening, and I chimed in the creative side, sharing some ideas on how to spruce up ordinary containers plus a few ideas on how to add beauty and whimsy to outdoor spaces. I didn't take any pictures since I was speaking, but here is a peek at one part where I'm showing how to create a mosaic tile planter, courtesy of Home Depot on Instagram. I'll show how I made that beautiful planter next week!
This weekend, the kind folks over at Home Depot are offering three lucky winners a $50 gift card to shop for anything you want! Yep, there are three gift cards up for grabs this weekend. Who's in the mood for a little home improvement?
Eligibility to win one of three $50 Home Depot gift cards up for grabs.
1. Tell me what's your next home improvement project? Is it painting, gardening, a repair or room remodel? Name your project in a comment on this post.
2. For a second chance to win, link to this giveaway on either Facebook or Twitter, then leave a second comment telling where you shared (FB or Twitter.)
Three winners chosen at random, US and Canada only. Giveaway ends Monday May 7th at 8 p.m. PST. By entering this giveaway you agree to this site's giveaway policy and Official Rules of Entry.
Winners notified via email.
#409 Felicia Kramer, #1,156 Kimberly Bruhn and #1,745 Sunshine


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My father was born and raised in Jaffna; a small, Tamil town in northern Sri Lanka. And like many Tamils of his generation, he was determined to leave from an early age; not just for a better life but for a safer one too.
He first came to the UK in 1970, armed with his suitcase and £50 in his pocket. And after an initially tricky period adapting to a new culture, a new environment, pretty much a new everything, he landed an assistant teaching role at the University of Bath.
In the years that followed he would obtain his PhD, essentially be forced to return to Sri Lanka to marry my mother (she wasn't too enthralled about it at the time either), have three boys (of whom I'm the youngest) and take up employment with an American oil firm that saw the family bounce between Sri Lanka, Norway, Thailand and finally the UK, which we've called home since 1984.
I have mixed feelings about my childhood. For the most part it was a happy one. Don't get me wrong, we were raised in a very safe, loving environment and we never went without. I was incredibly close with my brothers and had a great relationship with my mother. But I had no real connection with my father. The part he chose to play in our lives – as far as I could see – revolved around two things; education and discipline.
I get it now. He simply wanted the best for us and felt that that was the only way to achieve it. But as a kid this was very hard to understand. And of course this was also a reflection of how he himself was raised.
So true (fragbows.blogspot.com)
I never really knew my paternal grandparents but I gather my grandfather was particularly hard on my father. However he would also heap praise on him for his successes; of which there were many.
Unfortunately, this not only made 'him' extremely strict but also controlling and impossibly demanding.
He worked hard to send us to a private primary school. But being the type of man he is, from day one he was already thinking about our entrance exams to secondary school. Consequently, we were assigned additional work on an almost daily basis.
I remember the routine like it was yesterday. We'd come home from school. Have maybe an hour or two to act like regular kids before first completing our actual homework and then the additional assignments.
He'd make us stand in a line as he marked our work at the dining room table. Being the youngest, I had to wait and watch as he smacked my brothers for every mistake they made before he even got to me. And when I say smack, I don't just mean a slap on the wrist.
It was usually across the face or the back of the head and it fucking hurt.
In today's world a lot of people would be quick to call it abuse. And whilst I absolutely felt it was uncalled for, I wouldn't classify it as such. But there is a fine line.
When I was about 8 or 9, I destroyed a telephone in his study as some form of protest against my mother. My punishment?
I was marched into the living room, made to take my shirt off and using the same cord I'd previously cut (doubled back on itself), I was flogged repeatedly across my back until my mother finally intervened. I counted 12 lashes before she stopped him. He definitely crossed the line.
And it wasn't even a good phone (askville.amazon.com)
I fucking despised him after that. It wasn't just the physical pain but the humiliation of it all. My maternal grandfather was living with us at the time and witnessed the entire thing. But of course he said nothing as it was my father's house. Plus that was also just 'their' way.
A few years ago I found out that when my father was a teenager, he and a cousin had snuck into another relative's home and taken his motorbike out for a spin.
When they returned home, my grandfather tied 'both of them' around a tree – facing outwards, binding their wrists together – and proceeded to cane them across their entire bodies.
No child deserves that kind of punishment and I feel for the pair of them every time I think of that story. But that still doesn't make what he did to me okay.
That incident was probably the only time I thought about running away seriously. I told one of my friends at school and he suggested calling ChildLine.
I packed a bag but only made it as far as the driveway. I didn't call ChildLine either. As with all families; you make mistakes, you learn from them and you move on over time.
My father made a huge one that day. And whilst I'd be lying if I said that he never hit me or my brothers again, things were definitely different after that.
We've all moved on.
Given his academic achievements and the fact that we were 'his children', he placed an unbelievable amount of pressure on us. And in spite of our successes, we still usually felt like we'd failed somehow.
In 1993, I needed to score at least 230 in my 11-plus exam to gain entrance to the state funded grammar school he wanted me to attend. He was so embarrassed about my 232 that he lied to people about it.
A week earlier I'd received a full scholarship to a reputable private school (something neither of my brothers had done) and don't forget, my score 'was' good enough to attend the grammar. Yet there I was at age 11, feeling like a useless, under-achieving piece of shit.
Did they really make kids wear these? (kizaz.com)
Fast forward ten years and nothing had changed. I studied Statistics & Economics at University College London, graduating with Upper Second Class honours.
From 2000 – 2003, UCL was ranked amongst the top 10, if not 5 universities in the UK. I'm not saying this to impress you. Personally I don't care what university someone attended or if they attended one at all; as once you land that first job, it becomes fairly irrelevant. But some might say obtaining a 2:1 from UCL was a pretty good achievement.
My father thought I should've got a 1st and didn't even come to my graduation. Admittedly he asked if I wanted him there but if he had to do that…
Long before I'd even gotten to that stage in my life, I was still considering which subjects to specialise in at school.
Now I'm not saying I would've made it as an actor. But when I mentioned to my father that the head of drama had specifically pulled me aside and asked me to seriously consider pursuing it further, his message was pretty clear:
"Music, art and drama are subjects for dreamers and certainly not for any son of mine."
I could've got to wear a cool wife-beater like this guy
To my father, professional success means one of two things; working for a firm or in a profession that garners instant respect/recognition. Or earning a shit load of money.
Though I guess I can't really fault him for that as my oldest brother is earning annually what most people would struggle to see in their entire lifetime. And the other one is a fucking brain surgeon!
Like my dear friend Northern Monkey once said, "short of becoming Prime Minister or a super hero, I'm afraid you're screwed mate."
No thanks (the-libertarian.co.uk)
After graduating I didn't know what I wanted to do; preferring instead to go travelling. But my father and oldest brother convinced me to apply for a Masters in Finance, as surely with one of those under my belt, the big banks would come knocking and all would be right with the his world?
That was probably the worst year of my life. I had no interest at all in the subject matter but at the same time, didn't want to disappoint the old man. Yet again.
Some of you may be reading this thinking 'why didn't he just grow a pair and tell him how he felt.' But in our family, that was a lot harder than you might think.
Ironically, there was a Tamil girl on the course who felt entirely the same as me and I encouraged her to speak to her father about it. She did; and subsequently dropped out after the first term. I didn't and subsequently wasted a year of my life.
I eventually found work in the financial industry and though it ticked neither of his boxes and wasn't at all what I thought I'd be doing with my life, I stuck with it and forged a pretty decent career for myself over the years.
Being financially independent from my father made it easier to deal with his disappointment but the problem was; I still had feelings of doubt. On a sub-conscious level; whilst it must seem crazy to you, there was still that need to finally obtain his approval. But the more pressing issue was: "was this how I wanted to spend the rest of my life?"
There's a saying "there are those who work to live and those who live to work."
I'd been married and had also owned a home. "Working to live" wasn't for me. And so around two years ago I decided to quit my job.
Seeing this as an opportunity to wield his influence again, my father suggested applying for an MBA. Hell, he even offered to pay for classes to prepare for the GMAT.
But thankfully, with the encouragement of three of my closest friends, I finally grew those balls and spoke my mind. And using the money I'd been saving for that house society dictates I should buy, I eventually made that trip abroad.
That trip was a game-changer for both of us. Without question it was the best year of my life. And the two months I spent volunteering in a mountain village in India was probably the most meaningful, eye-opening period of my life.
I fully intend to go back one day and have even been asked to become a trustee of the charity. But I can't commit to them fully until I've sorted out the other things in my head.
One of those 'other things' was a desire to write a book, which is something I wouldn't have felt brave enough to discuss let alone attempt before. It's also something that I've wanted to do since about 2009 but it was only whilst I was away that I started to really believe in it; writing my first story in that same village.
Buoyed by fellow travellers I was meeting along the way, I decided "fuck it, I don't know how but I'm actually going to do this."
Unfortunately people back home weren't as receptive to the idea: "Is this a joke?" "Since when have you been interested in writing?" "What? Full-time?"
'God only knows how my father was going to react', I thought. His response blew me away.
A lot of you have probably formed pretty negative opinions about the man, which is only natural as I've only talked about my negative memories. I could list a bunch of positive ones but that's fairly redundant as whilst I'm grateful to you for reading this (and I really am), he's 'my father' and your opinion of him won't change that.
What I will do however, is share what he said with you:
"This past year; reading your emails, listening to you talk about your experiences, I realised that I got it wrong all these years. I pushed you too hard to be someone who I wanted you to be instead of considering what was important to you.
The past is the past and there's nothing I can do about that. But going forward I will support you, even if it's something I don't really understand. So fuck everyone who is questioning what you're doing. You're my son, not theirs. If you're happy and this is something you really want to do, then do it. Just don't fuck it up!
And you never know; if it's half decent, you might even make some serious money like that Harry Potter fellow."
Okay so some things will never change but still?
I'm not sure if he realises that Harry didn't write the books?
And with his unwavering support, I've spent the last seven months really working on my writing; not just for the book but also this blog. Obviously I've been doing other things too but the word-count on this piece is already too high so I'll spare you the details.
In the early days of the blog, I wanted to accompany each post with a cartoon. I couldn't afford to pay a professional so resorted to doing my own illustrations. One day my father saw me struggling to trace an image from my laptop screen and without asking, bought me a light-box.
I've since realised that I'm still shit at drawing and it's a lot easier to just 'borrow' images from the internet. But I don't think he understands just how much that gesture meant to me.
Although our relationship is so much better than it used to be and it must've taken a lot for him to say what he said, I still don't think I'm ready to do the same. So I've put it in writing instead:
I'm not sure if you'll ever read this but if you do, I'm sorry if you're hurt by the way that I've portrayed you.
Yes, I'm grateful for everything you've done for me and the opportunities that have subsequently been afforded me; I really am. These were just feelings that I've supressed for too long and this blog has given me a means to let them out.
I won't lie; remembering how you used to be has not been easy. But this piece also serves as a reminder of how much you've changed and I love the guy that you are today. If only we could've known him 30 years ago… Things could've been a lot different.
As you said though; the past is the past.
I'm still not sure what the future holds in store for me. Maybe this writing gig may lead to something bigger and better. I suspect not but even so, I hope that you'll read my book one day and be proud. Not because it became a bestseller and made a stack of money. But because it was written by me. Though I should tell you now that it will probably lose more money than it'll make!
A return to India is never far from my thoughts. Or maybe Northern Monkey was onto something and the two of us can start up the UK branch of the Avengers.
I'd be Thor (quicklol.com)
Whatever path I eventually choose to follow, I see now that you'll have my back; even if it's not what you'd envisaged for me as a child. And for that I truly thank you."
I appreciate that this was a fairly lengthy piece so my sincere thanks to those of you who made it all the way to the end.
Before I go, there's one more person I wanted to mention and that's my mother. Without whom, I probably would've run away that day. Unlike my father, I have no problem saying these words to her face but I wanted all of you to know just how great she is:
I don't think you give yourself enough credit for the part that you play in this family. You're definitely the Beauty to his Beast and without you; the walls of his castle would've come crashing down years ago.
Thank you for being you."
Oh and if you're worried that this blog is taking a new direction, don't be.
If you liked this then I suspect you might also enjoy my book. Or not.
Either way, thanks for reading; particularly to those of you who share these stories and/or leave comments.
Wow. That is one amazing piece. Very nice. It is constantly surprising to me how much children really want to please their parents. The violence did cross the line, but as you mentioned it was familiar to him as well. Children tend to learn what they live. Oddly it seems that the desire to please is strong in you, along with a great deal of respect, or you would have "grown some" much sooner.
For the most part people are who they are, partially formed by our parents and surroundings. I have been told that clearly I am a saint because my patience seems to have no end. That's not true I can tell you but I guess comparatively, I am pretty tolerant. I don't think I have ever punished my children by hitting them. They told me they don't really remember being hit but that was because I was scary enough when I started to yell. That was all it took for them to listen.
It is also evident, even if it didn't appear so, that your father loves you very much. It sounds like he is the type of man who doesn't swallow his pride easily, and he truly believed he was doing the right thing. (even if the methods are questionable)
So yeah, it sounds messed up. But apparently not that messed up. It sounds like the relationship has mended, and you really are an impressive individual.
Great post, SS. The fact that your grandfather was much more strict than your father, reminds me of my husband, his father, and his grandfather. My honey is great, but the strictness (bordering and often crossing the line of abuse) increases immensely with his father and grandfather. I don't know how it was beyond the grandfather.
The point we have to remember is how hard, how difficult, how almost impossible it is to change ourselves. Your father, just like my honey's father, changed for the better. Yeah, it would have been nice if it happened earlier, but it did happen.
And as long as you write, you are a writer.
I can see why this one was difficult to write, but you nailed it. I relate to this story in the oddest ways– I grew up with practically zero pressure on me to achieve anything, it was just assumed that we were already better than everyone else, HA, but the estrangement and the desire to run away as a child… I get.
Your father's change is amazing. The fact he was able to write that e-mail is incredible. I've seen other friends' parents change from being jean skirt wearing homeschoolers to wine guzzling liberals so perhaps this is a reminder that we are always working on becoming the people we are meant to be.
Thanks so much Aussa. That means a lot coming from a wordsmith such as yourself. Yes, although people's experiences may not have been identical to mine, almost everyone can relate to something within the text. I'm glad.
In other news, I was snooping around the Bloggess' site the other day, and H.N.H.S. is on her 'reading list'. Seriously girlfriend (did I pull that off?), you are taking over the blogging world!
Mind you, being on my 'reading list' is probably cooler. Ha. Oh and thanks for embarrassing me in front of all your followers. As always, it is greatly appreciated.
Jesus Sean. You are one authentic guy. This really touched me. I was of course expecting something else… but wow. That note from your dad to you… without saying too much about it, I'd kill for that from my dad. I almost cheered when I read it.
You're gonna nail this writing gig, dude. I know it.
Thanks man. I really appreciate that. No need to go into it but yes, it seems that I'm one of the luckier ones in terms of my relationship with my dad. I hope you can to that stage yourself one day…
Ha. Yes, I don't think anyone thought I had this in my locker. My brother only got round to reading this the other day and called me to say I should stop writing about shitting myself and trying to get laid and focus on serious stuff! We'll see.
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I might cry about this when I leave work am not ashamed to let my mascara run. That's so great that he finally changed his attitude to one of support. What a wonderful new chapter in your relationship. I struggle with writing about my mom and the shitty situations we were so often in – always afraid of painting a bad picture of her (I'm southern) – but your post is very encouraging. Thanks for that. I'm glad you abandoned your job and are writing that book! You can count on me for pre-sales and attendance at your book signing tours : )
You should definitely write that piece about your mum Molly. I was really reluctant about putting this out there but the responses from people (both in the real and blogging world) have been great, and very supportive. Plus it's probably made my relationship with him even better. But that could all change if he actually reads this! I'll read your post for sure.
Ha. That's very sweet, thank you. But the book's going to be nothing like this I'm afraid. Just low-brow, trashy tales about what a douche I can be sometimes. Though hopefully it should make people laugh. Totally understand if I don't see you at the signing!
So I'm lying in bed, trying to get some sleep (after staying up half the night writing) when I decide to read this post. The title intrigued me. It wasn't long before I found myself crying.
It breaks my heart to think of the pain and humiliation you both endured as children. My parents once beat me with a golf club after returning from an alumni weekend at Notre Dame, thinking I'd had sex with my bf! I didn't even know about sex yet!
I hated them. And it made me something of a pariah with my sibs. They were all afraid that if they spoke to me, it could be bad or them. They believed in"the belt" but this was off the charts even for them. It's somehow almost worse watching your sibs get it. At least it was for me. Once when one of my older bros was about to get nailed with the belt, I stood in front and told my dad to hit me first!! I was 5. He backed down.
I don't know if my dad was abused by his dad. I can only imagine he was. I started playing piano when I was five. But I really wanted to be Julie Andrews. I became fairly accomplished, but was only allowed to play classical music. I was trying to teach myself to sing. My dad told me on a daily basis that I played beautifully, but my singing was not good! Please don't. I wanted desperately to prove him wrong!!
When he came to my first gig with mom and a couple sibs, I noticed him sitting alone at the bar. I expected to hear the worst. Was he too embarrassed to be seated with my family? He was sober as a judge, wiping his eyes with a handkerchief when he turned to me and said "Where did you learn to do that? I have no idea where you got that talent from!" BLEW ME AWAY! He became my biggest fan!
Point being, I think the torture is born of fear and a feeling of ineptness, more often than not. Raising a child is an awesome responsibility. When my son was born I often thought, a mother raised both Mother Theresa and Jeffrey Dahmer! Don't Fuck This up! Granted, they did not have the same mother!
I'm so happy you are able to enjoy your dad. I made my final peace with mine the night before he died. So grateful for that.
The beauty of this? You turned out to be a great guy (in spite of the abuse) who is bold, intelligent, courageous and clearly has a big hear with a killer sense of humor. If I had a daughter, I'd set her up with you in a heartbeat! ( And if I didn't live across the pond…)
The other piece, I sincerely doubt you will ever raise a hand to your children. I didn't, ever! I never wanted my son to feel the sense of betrayal I felt when the one person in life I should be able to count on is the one I felt the need to be protected from. I also never wanted my son to hate me the way I hated them.
Should you ever decide to go down that road, your children are going to adore you, I'm sure of it.
Sorry for the lengthy comment. Thanks for your incredible honesty! So glad I found your blog. 🙂
Aaah, shit, I got something in my eye for a second there! It couldn't have been any better than this.So heartfelt. For the first time I feel like I really saw a glimpse of YOU.
Everything you wrote in the beginning of the article, yes I couldn't help but feel sorry. But the real magic of this article was how it came out to be in the end. I'm blessed that I never had to go through something like that but most of the Asian children experience it at some level in their lives.
As I proceeded to read the article, I did feel sad and angry but somehow as I got through to the end I felt so much better and happy for you . I know it must have been really hard for you but in the end everything did work out for you and for that I'm really happy. And the fact that your father changed so much just proves that people can change for good. I can't imagine how happy he will be to see your awesome glossy book.
A salute to your mom.
And In the end note you said that we shouldn't be worried about this blog taking a new direction, I for one would love this direction. I'm not saying that you should completely change it but once in a while it will be good to catch a little bit of personal YOU here and there 🙂
Thank you so much for writing this.
Shit my comment has turned into one big fucking letter. Sorry for that.
No need to apologise at all. This is one of the best comments I've received. And actually one of the reasons I didn't respond straight away was because I didn't really know what to say…
So I'll just say thank you.
As for the direction, yes, a few people have said the same. I'm working on some other things…
Wow, I had trouble reading the parts about the physical violence–always pains me so much to read or see–but I'm glad I read through to the end. It took a lot for your father to say what he did, and good on you for cutting him some slack. That doesn't at all make what he did okay, but it shows that you're capable of getting past things and moving forward.
Wonderful piece!
Thanks so much Carrie. I'm glad you stuck with it until the end too.
It was a difficult piece to write; more for what I thought people might think of my dad than anything else. But getting it out has probably made our relationship even stronger. I think I'll stick to writing about failed attempts at sex and shitting my pants though…
So I read this post this morning and wrote a long comment…pressed *Post comment*…and it just DISAPPEARED into thin air. Argh! After throwing a small paddy, I decided to reply later (because I had a house to view). So anyway…here I am!
I just wanted to say…
I admired your story from day one, I think anyone who goes out chasing their dreams, the way you have, is an inspiration. However, I now know how difficult this must have been for you.
In all honesty, this post really struck me,
Firstly, because I think you're really brave!
And secondly, because I couldn't help but think "This really remind me of someone" as I was reading it. That person being my husband, who like yourself, struggled to live a life his parents wanted for him. So much so, it drove him to a break down. Two years ago he made a very brave decision to go and chase his dreams. This meant I had to make huge sacrifices, but with sacrifice comes reward….and boy was it worth it! His mother still critiques every decision he makes, but he has accepted, that's just the way it is.
So…enough of my rambling. What I'm trying to say is, I have huge respect for you! I am so glad you have found the happiness you deserve.
ps; I hope you're having fun in in the sun…I'm a little jealous
So I had to take my time responding as this was just such a nice comment. Unfortunately though, I still don't actually know what to say… Other than thank you.
Even though the old man was the biggest hurdle to me pursuing what I really wanted when I was younger, he's currently my biggest supporter. Obviously that's because he doesn't actually know what I write about though!
Now I still like to pretend that you aren't married but I'm really glad things worked out for your husband in the end. Thanks again for the encouragement and your kind words. Hope the viewing went well..?
Holy snappin' duck shit, Sean, why the fuck it's taken me so long to get across here I don't know but I'm glad I read that piece. Well written, man. Thanks too for including your father's support letter, it's something I'd to see from my own but will never happen. I gave up waiting for him to come round a long time ago but you never really finish with your blood for good. I no longer live my life in the shadow of his perpetual disappointment in me but his voice lingers. Good luck with the, too, congratulations. Respect REDdog
Ha. It's OK man, I totally got what you meant. And can I just say, nice to see you on these shores. I've seen you around the blogosphere for some time now, most notably on Aussa and Samara's little piece of the interwebs.
Thanks very much for the kind words by the way. I hope you manage to resolve things with your old man eventually too.
Thanks Sean, if he were inclined I'd wholeheartedly embrace it but we've never been close, we live 1800kms apart and he's 73, best I can hope for is no more trouble. He did give me a blueprint for what I didn't want as a Father, though, and I now have 4 teenagers who think I'm pretty cool, so that's a pretty good outcome. Write on, I say, write on!
Damn straight man, that's pretty awesome.
Wow, Sean.
I wrote to you a short story a while back of a drunken experience in college. (Drove drunk, got out to pee, passed out, etc)
I had no idea you've grown so much in so little time.
Kudos to you my friend. Kudos.
(yeah feel free to post it anywhere, anytime. I prefer no accreditation heh)
I'm just… proud of you.
That was simply amazing! Just lost for words. You really have been through a lot and have come a long way. After meeting you yesterday and now reading this blog today, we can relate to it all!
You really are an awesome writer, and you have so much more to offer. Don't give up your passion, and follow your dreams!
Hey Anu,
Thanks so much for your comment; it really meant a lot. And sorry it's taken me so long to reply… New Zealand was just non-stop.
Like I said to your son, you and your husband are pretty cool and I'm so glad I met you both! The reaction from other family members has been pretty special too. Though I'm not sure what they (you) make of some of the other stories. Ha. In fact, perhaps you shouldn't tell me…
Not sure what the future holds in store for me but maybe I might see you guys in India later this year. I hope so!
I'm a little late jumping on this particular bandwagon, but I REALLY appreciate this blog.
It's something I've been thinking about for a couple of months now as I've seen the hardened man I grew up with soften before my very eyes. Or what I at least perceived to be softening. Maybe it's just that he is just accepting who I am? Could it be, maybe even proud?
Either way, this is an excellent piece and you captured the emotion so well. I actually just relived some of my very own beatings and the emotional turmoil that comes with it. Haven't done that ever.
I have learnt though, Sri Lankan or not, our parents (most parents) do the best they can and often teach from the same seat that they've learnt. It's their norm and often all they know. I'm terrified for when I become a parent, having grown up being torn apart by eastern and western culture. It's going to make for an interesting ride. Mainly for the offspring. Suckers.
ANYWAY. I'm very impressed and you can consider me a legit fan. Not just by association. Haha.
Well this is a lovely surprise.
Do you know, I was talking to your sister and cousin about the site in Sydney and the whole time I was thinking, maybe I shouldn't be saying anything as I'm not sure what they're going to make of it. But as you and other members of the family have shown, I shouldn't have been so apprehensive to share it.
That being said, this is possibly the only 'real' piece I've written. The rest are usually about me being a horny, druken moron! I'm certain that you won't feel the same way about those…
Thank you so much for checking it out though. I really appreciate it. And sorry I didn't get a chance to see you and your bro when I was there. Hopefully you guys will be back here soon.
Haha. What's not to love about reading OTHER people's drunken escapades?!
Honestly, it may not be my 'style', but I do appreciate good writing, and great writing is a key element in your posts. Besides, as family we've got your back regardless of whether we understand, in it's entirety, what the heck you're blogging about. However I believe for the most part ignorance may be bliss?! haha
I'm so bummed I didn't get to catch up with you lot this trip. Yet ANOTHER downfall of living in this hole. HOWEVER, I shall be there in Aug, so if you and the brothers are free, we can maybe catch up?
Hope all things are going well! xx
I don't know what it's like in Europe, but here in the U.S. a child abuser is considered the lowest possible scum, not even deserving to breathe. And people generally use the term loosely. A woman who smacked her son's mouth for cursing her had her children removed from her home. It doesn't take much to get that title. But as you so beautifully pointed out, both good and evil resides in all men. The same person who hurts you can also be the one who loves, provides and nurtures you. My grandfather was definitely over the line as a child abuser. But he was also the person who made sure that the elderly woman next door grass got cut and her shutters painted. He made sure that everyone around him had what they needed. Both good and evil and he was just one person. I am glad that your father was able to see his mistakes and attempt to correct his way. It speaks volumes of him.
It has been about four months since I first read your story here. I understood it and enjoyed it. Mainly because this all rings true for me and many other people I've come to know intimately.
Thank you for sharing a part of your healing. Your story will bring comfort and hope to many people.
Author of the largely unheard of 'How to Lose a Girl in 10 Ways'. Currently at home waiting for the royalty cheques... I've been sitting here a while.


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this is something i've had on my list of things to make for a while.. inspired by a few blogs & combining my love of driftwood and boats. i still have a good supply of driftwood found on the beaches around here after winter storms. a combined effort with steve doing a great job boat building, drilling and fitting masts. me the sailmaker and boat rigger, bringing back memories of when i did rig sailing boats many moons ago.
so this is the fleet, simple and rustic. they're not going to win any races, no high tech gadgets here. built for fun and happy cruising.


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My wife, Marianne, wrote this. Where I am vision and logic, she is feeling and heart. The Lord speaks to us in very different ways, and we have learned to passionately value those differences.
Anyway, I think this was for both of us, and maybe it will speak to you too as the first of hopefully many devotionals from her.
~ Jim
As I was in the midst of an intense struggle over some situations in my life, the Lord spoke to my spirit: "Acceptance with joy."
I responded, "Lord, I don't even know what it is that I am to accept, but whatever it is, there certainly is no joy."
For me, it became pray, pray, pray: I cried my heart out in hopes that somehow He would let me see what He wanted.
With me, the Lord speaks in pictures, and the picture He showed me was not encouraging.
I saw about two inches of dark, rich topsoil over deep, SOLID rock. I had a shovel.
I asked the Lord to pulverize the rock because the rock made it impossible to dig with only a shovel. Amazingly (but not really amazing), the Lord did exactly what I prayed.
At first, I was surprised. Then excitement grew because once again He heard my heart.
I am continuously astonished at how God miraculously can take our anguish and do something awesome – ashes to beauty.
To me, acceptance with joy starts with small, attempting-to-be-obedient, steps.
I still don't have all the answers in how to accomplish this, but I believe it is a continuing journey.
Let us walk faithfully.
~ Marianne