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The Oscars are on Sunday, which means it's time for me to spend the week processing any number of scenarios in which I am involved in the ceremony. I watch the stupid Oscars every year, and they grow more insufferable on an annual basis. Yet that will never stop me from daydreaming of the day I get to A) win an Oscar and give a speech, B) host the Oscars and deliver a scathing monologue, C) present an Oscar (yep, I even dream of presenting the things, in which I add my own little flair to the announcement, and make a point of saying AND THE WINNER IS in an act of cool defiance), and D) attend any number of post-Oscar shindigs, in which other celebrities ask to touch my Oscar and indentured female servants feed me champagne and caviar while I do blow off in the VVVVVIP area.
I have an Oscar speech in my head that I adjust on a yearly basis. I will not print it here, because it is beyond retarded. I also have mental Oscar speeches prepared should I win multiple Oscars on the same night, and I always do ("Tonight, Drew Magary has become the first person ever to win an Oscar for Best Actor, Best Director, Best Screenplay, Best Picture, Best Editing, AND Costume Design for his work in Pussytubin' 6: Tubik's Pube."). I have also staged imaginary conversations with any number of Hollywood luminaries. It's all so very, very sad. I should be given an honorary cat.
THE SPEED CHESS! your letters:
I had a girlfriend who cut my hair for a long time and now all of a sudden I have to go to a professional. This sucks mostly because I have to now pay for haircuts. But I'm also lost on barber or hairdresser.
My wife cuts my hair (and shaves my back! What a lady!). I only wear underwear when she cuts it, so the hair falls all over my body. I like to stand up when she's done and I'm all covered in my own clippings, and then I pound my chest and go MONKEY MONKEY MONKEY!!!!! The wife is not charmed.
I revel in the fact that I never have to pay for a haircut or tip a hairdresser again. Seriously, my wife will tip her hairdresser an obscene amount. WHY? It's not like the haircut was delivered.
One time, my wife got tired of cutting my hair and asked me to consider going to a salon or barbershop. I said no fucking way. Once you get free haircuts, going back is an impossibility. So I feel for you, brother. What if you just bought a pair of clippers and did it yourself? Jamie Oliver cuts his own hair, and he only looks mildly retarded. You tell me that's not worth saving yourself a trip to Jean Louis David.
Besides, there's no guarantee you'll get a good haircut if you go pro. There's not a guy out there who hasn't been completely FUCKED by a barber once or twice. I went to a barber once who had put that scratchy-as-hell collar around my neck and proceeded to make my hair look like it had just been attacked by a cougar.
I got a haircut once and went to show it to my insane ex-girlfriend, who got mad at me simply because she didn't like it. And it was just a normal haircut. Maybe a little short, but I didn't have the barber carve boobs in my hair or anything. She was in tears, she hated it so much. Women like that should be gassed.
My best friend swears that in over five years with his girlfriend he has not farted in her presence. Which lead me to two conclusions. 1) I can't believe they're still together, and 2) this has a make him a huge pussy, right?
Sure does. What's the point of having a girlfriend if you can't terrify her by dropping ass in the middle of some terrible movie she rented? On a deeper level, not farting around your girlfriend (or boyfriend, for that matter) suggests that you really aren't all that comfortable around her. I mean, really. Five years and you don't feel comfortable enough to let it rip with your old lady around? What, are you still trying to maintain the illusion of courtship? Ridiculous. You should WANT a girlfriend who you feel clear to nuke the couch around. That means you're yourself, instead of some dipshit guy putting on airs whenever his chick is around. I hate guys like that.
I got a lot of emails about "Hey, when is it okay to fart around your girlfriend?" And the answer to that is this: Just do it when you feel comfortable doing it around her, and you know she won't give a shit. If you never reach that point, congratulations. You need a new girlfriend.
If you're at someone else's house (parents or in-laws don't count) and the bomb doors open, do you spray the air freshener after you purge? I'm always torn on what to do. I mean, the aerosol is there for a reason, but I don't want the whole house knowing that I just dropped the big one on Nagasaki by spreading lilac scent all around.
Well look, a smell will radiate from that bathroom regardless of what you choose. You may as well spring for the air freshener. Everyone will know what you did anyway.
At my old work, there was a huge can of Oust in the shitter, and everyone sprayed it after dropping anchor. The only problem was that the can always blasted out freshener at 560 mph, so even the lightest squeeze would produce a giant mist cloud of lavender that you could literally taste in your mouth and feel permeating your nostrils as you walked out the door. I think I would have been happier just to let sleeping poops lie.
Why do people back into their parking spot? I get pissed at this.
Why? Backing into a spot ensures an easy pullout when you leave. Why wouldn't you back in if it's an easy move to pull off? If I'm at the grocery store and the parking lot is relatively empty, I always pull through the initial parking spot so that I'm "backed in" to the adjacent spot. Feels like winning the lottery, because it means I got through the parking lot without having to look backwards, which hurts my back and shit.
I get pissed at parking spots that warn you FRONT IN ONLY. Hey, parking Nazis, what the fuck do you care if I back in or not? The car is the same length regardless. Kiss my tailpipe.
I've recently started adding a fried egg to any sandwich prepared at home. I start the egg cooking in a non-stick pan, and by the time I have everything else unwrapped/sliced/ready to assemble, it's already time to flip. Then when the rest of the sandwich is ready, the egg goes on top, with the yolk still a little runny. There's something primal about eating these things, it's like I'm biting into the heart of a yellow-blooded buffalo.
Egg yolk improves everything. I watch Anthony Bourdain's show, and he'll always go to some crazy Burmese street market where they give him buffalo heart stew and they ALWAYS put a fried egg yolk in the center of it. Holy shit, I want to lick the screen when they show that yolk break. Sometimes, I think it's weird that I eat eggs, since they're chickenbortions. But one bite is pretty much all you need to alleviate your concerns.
On a deeper level, it's stunning that chicken eggs are the essential ingredient in so many different kinds of food. Breads. Pasta. Cakes. Cookies. Salad dressings. Eggs play a vital role in all of them. They're like MAGIC.
How long do you think it will be before we have an out and proud athlete in one of the four major American sports (MLB, NFL, NBA, NHL)? I'm not talking a superstar; the guy could be a third string goalie out of Saskatchewan for all I care. As a gay sports fan, I just think it's overdue, since we know there have been gay guys in the leagues in the past. Also, which of those sports do you think will have a gay athlete first?
It'll be forever. Whoever does it will be someone who came out at an early age and enters whichever league an already-known gay quantity. I doubt you'll ever see some guy who is already a pro suddenly pipe up, HEY! I'M GAY! There are a lot of reasons for this. First off, too many pro athletes are nutjob Evangelicals who fucking hate gays. How many white baseball players out there love to hunt and listen to country music? FUCKING ALL OF THEM. It's uncanny. 75% of Rascal Flatts' revenue comes from Major League Baseball players. Not the sort of guys who like themselves the gay. And I don't think many Latino players are all that pro-gay, either. Very macho culture, as Razor Ramon taught me.
Also, most pro athletes are extremely young guys, pumped up with testosterone and ungodly amounts of HGH. Most of them are aggressively heterosexual. BRAH! I FUCKED THIS CHICK LAST NIGHT! TWICE! BRAHHHHHHH!!! EW, DON'T TOUCH MY TOWEL! THAT WOULD MAKE ME A FAGGOT! There's that urge to be as hetero as possible. Drink the most, bang the most, blah blah blah.
I'll go ahead and freely admit now that, when I was in high school, I could easily be characterized as a homophobe. I used the word faggot all the time (even more than I do now!). I adored Dice Clay. I didn't think gays deserved rights or anything else other than ridicule. I didn't LIKE gays. At all. And not for any sort of bullshit moral reason. No, I was that way because I enjoyed it, and I suspect many other homophobes also hate gays simply because they like to hate them. I could blame youth or growing up in the '80s for how I felt, but that's a bullshit excuse. It's embarrassing and shameful and I wish I'd never felt that way.
It didn't take long for me to do a complete 180 on that old mentality and become extremely liberal in my attitudes towards gays and very supportive of gay rights. This is because I got older, settled down, and realized that inherently disliking gays (or any people outside of Duke fans) is pointless, stupid, and cruel. Some men need to grow up to reach that conclusion, and pro sports is an arena in which players are encouraged to NEVER grow up. Hence, HEY GUYS, GARY'S A FAG!!!!!
If there is ever an active gay athlete in pro sports, it'll never be in football (too many players, too many control freak coaches who don't want to deal with it), or baseball. It'll be in basketball. Because the teams are smaller, so there are less teammates to win over. And, if the gay player is crazy talented, the team will support him because there are only a finite number of superstar players. I'd expect that to happen sometime around the year 3498.
Somewhere along the way, a site like TMZ (or even this one) will out a player by posting a picture of him tonguing some other guy in a leather bar or something. But that's not exactly the same as having an out and proud athlete in the pros. I don't think it'll happen for at least another 20 years. Sad but true.
Also, Jimmy Clausen eats cock.
Are you ever a total dick to your friends for no reason? I often find myself making comments to my friends saying stuff like they have no future, no job, no money. Even worse I also make comments about me wanting to bang my friend's mom and sister. No particular reason, but the conversations going nowhere so I decide to spice it up by being a dick.
Yes, because there is a comfort level you reach with certain friends in which you are FREE to be a dick, and so you indulge because you can. You couldn't be a dick to strangers. That would be weird. Much better to be a cock to the best man at your wedding. DAVE, YOU FORGOT TO GET PEANUTS? GOD DAMMIT, YOU ARE A FUCKING FUCKUP. This is why guy friends hit each other for no reason.
ME: Hey, Jeremy.
JEREMY: What?
ME: (punches Jeremy in gut) BOOSH!
It's just one of those guy things. Though I will tell you, when you get older, that dickishness fades, largely because your friends are never around for you to be a dick to.
When searching for porn (particularly of the amateur variety), do you ever keep hope in the back of your mind that you'll stumble across an old girlfriend or someone from high school? That'd be the best porn surprise ever. It'd be like a sci-fi movie where you can create real images from your spank bank.
As I mentioned earlier, I had a batshit insane ex-girlfriend, and sometimes I wonder if I'll ever stumble across her not doing porn, but in a news item in which she has been either arrested or killed. I'm not saying I WANT that to happen. I'm just saying I wouldn't be shocked at such things. Just waiting for that shoe to drop. I mean, she lied to me about where she went to school and where she worked. For, like, a fucking YEAR. She could totally be a drug mule now.
I spotted this one on a tour boat in Seattle a few years ago and I'll be damned if that is not a penis pattern staring back at me from inside the bowl.
And it's aiming AT you! What kind of game are they playing?
Ever try to squeeze a couple bagfuls of Caprisun into a normal glass? Fucking awful. There must be some kind of devil's magic in that tiny fucking thinner-than-Michael-Vick's-herpes-ravaged-urethra straw, because in any other vessel the juice just tastes like the nastiest watered down crap you could imagine.
Plus it only fills one-fourth of the glass. Certain foods are enhanced by either their vessel or the setting in which they are served. Like Capri Sun. Or giant pretzels at the ballpark. Some of those pretzels are real dogshit.
I was a massive manwhore in college simply because the opportunities always presented themselves. The thing I miss most about the whole being single thing is the Predator scenario I went through every night at the Frats; I felt like I was in that invisible mode with the heat seeker vision going. I'd just stealth through the blackness and find the weak one and BAM hookup glory. I always imagined this is how every guy went about it, but recently I was told I was an asshole.
Well, who told you that? A woman? If a man told you that, then he probably reads The Atlantic, or something like that. All I know is that, when I was single and drunk, I searched for any live body I could get my hands on. Why wouldn't you? You're only single once, you know. Or eight times if you're Jean-Claude Van Damme.
There were times when I was drunk, and I really did feel like an animal scouring the dance floor for available womenfolk. Hooking up was the only goal. Ever. I never went out one night and was like, "So long as I get ice cream, THIS WILL BE A FUN EVENING!" No, it was always poon or bust. I never wanted to go home without making sure I first exhausted every possible avenue to finding a lady for the evening. Any lady: big, small, retard, whatever. I guess that made me a creep. I don't think I really gave a shit at the time. If you're single? Have at it.
Ever email something to yourself at work and then, in the 30 seconds it takes to "deliver" the email, completely forget about it and freak out when you realize you have a new message? I do this nearly every day.
ME: Clicks send on email to self, leans back in chair, relaxes, thinks about possibility of leaving early
(/five seconds pass, New Message alert pops us)
ME: Fuck, now what? It's Friday afternoon. This better not be a ...
(/slowly realizes own idiocy)
Sometimes. What usually happens with me is that I'll email myself to remind myself to do something. Then I'll open the email the instant I send it because I have email OCD and can't stand the idea of unopened mail in my inbox, then immediately forget to do what I was reminding myself to do. Happens to me pretty much on a daily basis.
I forget everything now. The same shit, over and over again. I'm supposed to brush my kid's teeth every morning. I always forget. ALWAYS. The wife comes down…
WIFE: You brush her teeth?
ME: FUCK!!!!!! (hits self in head)
I get unreasonably angry at myself when I forget to do things. My wife will call me at the store to remind to pick something up, and the SECOND I hang up the phone, I will forget about it. Annoying.
When it comes to email, the thing I hate the most is when I'm eagerly awaiting an email reply from someone about something, then the INBOX (1) will appear, then I'll fall all over myself to open my inbox, and then it's a piece of fucking spam. Never fails to make me want to spear a group of schoolchildren to death.
Is it ok that I also blow my nose in the sink? Like once I've finished doing the dishes, sometimes I'll just keep the water running and blow my nose straight into my bare hands. The water is hot and immediately absolves me of all grossness. Amiright? My girlfriend looks at me like I'm a fucking abomination, but lets face it: I am the model of efficiency.
I do this, but I never do it with my wife around. THIS IS WHERE WE PUT OUR CHILDREN'S DISHES! Yes, but the kid's plates are loaded with their half-chewed food and drool, shit that is just as revolting as my loogies. I fail to see how I'm befouling something that houses so many dirty things to begin with. Plus, I can clean it! There's a dishbrush right there, lady!
I've lived in a city for fourteen years now and the thing I miss the most about the country is going to a house party, getting shithammered, and wandering out into the woods behind the house to take a piss. Even (arguably especially) in knee-deep winter snow. It feels like Freedom, like it was meant to be this way for men. When I visit my hometown I hit every tree before I leave.
That is a great feeling. I remember at college, it was never really all that fun to wade through 80 people in the crowd at a party just to find a tiny piece of real estate to stand there with a friend and shout shit to one another. Always nicer to go outside into the cold and have some fucking room. You appreciate the air more when you're blitzed out of your skull. And you can actually hear other people when you're talking to them.
I loved wandering out in the cold with a Solo cup full of shitty beer in hand and just standing out there in the night, either on a porch or in the woods. Something peaceful about it. Until I booted in the snow.
If you had to be shot where would you want to take it?
Upper left arm? Upper left arm. Provided no bones are broken by the bullet. Although, I had a football coach in college who was accidentally shot in the calf during Mardi Gras. No bones broke, he was too drunk to really remember the initial hit, and he was left with a nice little bullet wound that served as potential fodder for any number of great lies. Hard to find a more pleasant being-shot scenario than that.
Fuck banana strings. FUCK THEM.
There's always one clinger when I peel. Terrible.
Ever go to someone's house or a restroom (for whatever reason some faucets on the U of Minnesota campus are like this) and be surprised to find a sink that has separate faucets for hot and cold water? How in God's name am I supposed to have a decent handwashing experience? On the one hand (literally!) my palm is burnt to shit and the other is a fucking icicle. Am I supposed to move my hands back and forth really fast like I'm doing some fucking rave dance? Fuck you double faucets!
Most double faucets are that way because they're old, and whoever is in charge of the bathroom is too cheap to replace them. It's the cousin of the "push the button to start the faucet and watch the water peter out one-fourth of the way through your wash" faucet at various rest stops across our fair nation.
I avoid the hot water entirely in that scenario because you never know where someone has set their water heater. A water heater acts like a governor on hot water. It can only get as hot as you set it. Some people set the water heater in their home or building to 5 million degrees. Only you won't know that until you go to wash your hands, flip the faucet up to the right, and then get third-degree burns all over the goddamn place.
People who turn their water heaters up like this fail to understand the principles of operating a sink or shower. When I operate any sink, I first jam the faucet all the way to the left. This is because most of the time, the water starts out cold as balls. So my thinking (wrong) is that jamming the faucet all the way to the left will get the water hotter, faster. I also do this to gauge the maximum hotness of the water, and then adjust the faucet to the right accordingly. I am horrid at getting the temperature exactly right. I always overcorrect to the right, the water gets too cold, and then I have to slowly move the control back to the left.
Anyway, throwing it all the way to the left on a sink where A) the water heater is turned way fucking high, and B) the sink has an abnormally quick heating rate (only in deathly hot sinks and showers does this occur), leaves me yelping in pain from the burn. No pain causes me to violently jerk my body away like burning my hand or my finger. One touch, and I spasm like a bitch. SON OF A CUNT THAT IS HOT!!!
There is nothing lower or more humiliating then having to call the front desk and ask for a plunger at a hotel.
No? Not even calling the front desk and asking if the adult films are discreetly billed, which is precisely how I phrased my question to the concierge, who said yes, but wasn't being truthful?
Why do people refrigerate ketchup? Everything you put ketchup on is warm/hot. Putting cold ketchup on warm eggs or hash browns ruins it. Would you put cold gravy on mashed potatoes?
No, but there's a reason why. Ketchup is a necessary cooling agent. You get fries fresh out of the fryer, they will burn the fuck out of your hard palate if you just start going to town on them. But dip them in cool ketchup? BOOM. Hot stays hot. Cool stays cool.
And off you go. Whereas gravy makes for a critical warming agent. How long do mashed potatoes stay hot? Three minutes? But pour boiling hot gravy on them, they stay hot all the way through the meal. You see? THIS IS SCIENCE.
Also, putting ketchup on eggs is fucking gross.
Were you tired of watching SportsCenter and hearing fucking Mike Greenberg tell everyone that we always forget that the US had to go play another game after upsetting the Soviets?
"And don't forget! I KNOW A FACT THAT YOU ALSO KNOW, BUT I'M GOING TO ASSUME YOU DON'T!"
Recently I spent a Saturday afternoon shopping with my girlfriend at the local mall. I was struck by how badly I wanted to beat up numerous 15 year-olds. And am I justified in my desire to maim these teenage deviants?
Yep. I mean Jesus, they look like fucking dipshits. I feel like an old person hating on teenagers, but really. Those fucking kids who are blocking my path to my car because they're skateboarding in the goddamn parking lot? BUY AN EMPTY SWIMMING POOL. And get a fucking haircut, you little shits.
Don't want your buttons broken? Unbutton your goddamned clothes! As someone who has worked at a dry cleaners, I can tell you that if the shirt goes into machines with buttons buttoned, it will pull on the shirt and rip the damn thing off. So I spent some nights at work until 3AM unbuttoning buttons. The only comfort was pot.
Ah. I did not know that. Um… sorry.
Poopy Buttrag:
Everyone knows that it sucks when a coworker decides to request your Facebook friendship. The other day, the girl-next-door but conservatively-dressed Asian who I sometimes make small talk with in the hallway decided to do just that. To my surprise, amongst the most boring pictures you'd ever want to see, were two pictures of her in a bikini at the beach last summer. She doesn't know, but she unwittingly caused the spilling of gallons of baby sauce over the months ahead. So thank you, my co-worker friend, my micro-tadpoles are going to see the world rather than just the inside of my testicles because of you. This is appropriate, right?
Referee Mills Lane?
"I'll allow it."
Look, she posted the pictures, and she was the one who friended you. Classic female naivete.
HER: "Oh, look at this picture! That was a fun beach trip! I bet everyone will agree with me that this picture shows I had fun!"
YOU: (drooling, licking chops, could give two shits about someone else's vacation) Grrrrr… fresh meat… want to touch…
Can we safely say that Home Alone is the most unrealistic movie of all time? The kid doesn't say a fucking word about what he did to anyone. You expect me to believe that kid, who successfully got to live out every man's fantasy, is just going to keep all of the awesome shit he did to himself?
Yeah, and all he wants is plain cheese pizza? No sausage? No pepperoni? I hate kids like that. SHOW SOME ADVENTUROUSNESS.
Ten-year-old kids like that would obviously brag about foiling burglars. They'll brag about anything, even shit they shouldn't be bragging about. I once bragged on my school bus about having a wet dream. THERE'S NOTHING COOL ABOUT HAVING A WET DREAM.
What's the deal with the "close door" buttons on elevators? I have never seen one that works when you push it. People seem to think that hitting it repeatedly, hitting it slowly, etc will be the trick to get the door closed faster. It won't.
I've seen CLOSE DOOR buttons that work. What's more, I have totally been guilty of pushing the button repeatedly. I know it doesn't do anything extra. It just feels good to jam the fuck out of it over and over. Pushing buttons is just a fun thing to do. My kids have toys with buttons you push, like plastic cash registers and shit. I push the buttons on them all the time. Just because.
Also, when in an elevator, I dread some fucker coming at the last minute and causing the doors to reopen, costing me valuable nanoseconds on my descent or ascent. I HAVE SHIT TO DO!
I just made an off-hand joke to my friends about how when I build a house, I'm gonna put a urinal in my bathroom, and they all laughed and shrugged me off. So I started getting adamant about it. Why not? One guy says it's not classy. What?! I walk into a dude's house and he's got a urinal in his master bath, I am fucking impressed, this guy has it all in excess. Another dude says if there's a woman in the house, it's useless. Uh, except for the total elimination of toilet seat fights for the rest of your life and/or relationship!
Tell me I'm not crazy. I'm going urinal shopping tonight.
I'd also put that goalie thing from the last mailbag in the pisser, just for that extra homey touch.
You, of course, DO have a urinal in your home. It's called the shower. Though I fully concede I only piss in the shower when inside it or about to step in. I've never peed in my own shower while clothed and not actually USING the shower. That would be weird.
I doubt any wife would allow a urinal in the bathroom. Too crass, they'd say. They'd suggest two full toilets instead. I'd accede to that, but insist on a urinal in the basement game room of my mansion. I think I could win that battle.
I went to Ohio State. My roommates and I lived in an older split-level home which the new owner converted into 1 house. We converted one of the living rooms into a pool room. We were down there playing and one of the wall panels suddenly fell over. We took a look inside and we find a BIG FUCKING SAFE HIDDEN IN THE WALL. There were only 2 of us in the room at the time, so we gathered all of our roommates around for the unveiling. Alas, completely empty. This was extremely depressing.
If you were to find a safe in an older home, what would you expect or want to find inside of it?
The following: A money belt containing $50,000 cash of every foreign currency. Numerous passports with various aliases and pictures of a man who, as luck would have it, bears a solid resemblance to myself. A secret list containing the names and addresses of various foreign double agents living abroad. A rifle. Two handguns. An open plane ticket to Paris. Security tapes of Tim Tebow punching a pregnant woman.
This is a debate I've had many times: Out of any TV show past or present, what fake home or set do you wish you could live on? I'm talking living your normal life; the actual cast from the show doesn't factor in. Here are mine, in no particular order:
1. The Cosby Show: Huge house in Brooklyn, they had a backyard where you could grill/shoot hoops, along with a home office. That's only affordable on a doctor/lawyer's marriage. This is about 500% larger than any normal person's home in NYC or the boroughs.
2. Silver Spoons: Everything had a remote control. Hey! Someone's at the door — let me GRAB THE FUCKING REMOTE and see who it is. They had a train that would take you around the house. They had a plethora of REAL video games in their game room.
3. The Brady Bunch
4. The Facts of Life: I want to live in a house that has a bakery connected to it. Hungry in the middle of the night? OPEN THE BAKERY.
5. The Sopranos: Huge kitchen/living room, with a bed that always looks extremely big and comfortable.
Wayne Manor. Wayne Manor all the fucking way. Batcave. Batmobile. Batpoles. Butler. I'll take all that, thank you.
Not to go all Simmons on you, but pretty much any Real World house. They're always huge. They always have all kinds of cool shit in them. They're always in a good location. Apart from fumigating the joint and cleaning all the douche out, it's hard to argue with the joint they had in London or Miami or any of those places. I watched that show when it started, and they'd always tour the joint, show you all the awesome stuff, then show you the ungrateful fucks who got to hang out in it. Always made me want to punch them in the fucking face.
Moviewise, I always had a real affection for Winthorpe's place in Philly in Trading Places. God damn, that looked like a nice place. Always wanted to live in a bigass city townhome like that. Mozart playing at all hours.
Are you ever disappointed when you are done eating because you have no food left? I'll go to a fast food joint and even though I spent enough money to buy a gourmet meal I am a little sad inside when I eat that last chicken nugget. After sadness comes shame for eating so much.
Happens pretty much every time I eat. I'm never emotionally prepared when the last bite arrives, especially now that I'm on a diet. Oh, that's it. No more after this. Well, that's… (has nervous breakdown)
If you could choose a song to play when entering a toilet stall, what would it be? And you can't say "Smell what The Rock is Cookin'." That is too easy.
"Sky Is Falling," by Queens of the Stone Age.
Like you, I am gay for Tim Gunn and crew. The reason I watch the show is to find my secret hip designer TV girlfriend to lust over for four months. This season I have it bad for Maya – those retro black bangs and lips make me want to throw her up against the Bluefly accessory wall. So, how to you strike the right balance of picking a favorite and rooting for her (or him, to each his own) without betraying the carnal reason below to your wife?
I swear to God, Maya spends every week staring at the camera looking like she's going to crawl through the set and do blow off your stomach. The fact that appears to be roughly 3 feet tall is little deterrent. She's got ScarJo's face and upper chestal area, and they ALWAYS stick her in the front row when they gather designers so she can primp for the camera. No way that girl doesn't spend every night in Manhattan out at clubs until 4 a.m. popping ecstasy pills like Tic Tics.
Anyway, just keep that shit to yourself. Root for the hilarious gay black dude, like I do. Black people NEVER win that fucking show.
Kristofferson Kriskristofferson:
My bottle of shampoo contains the following instructions: 1. Lather 2. Rinse 3. Repeat. My question to you is whether anyone actually repeats and, if so, why? Is this just a scam perpetrated by the shampoo industry to encourage needless consumption of its product?
I think you might repeat if you got poop in your hair or something. Something you REALLY wanted to make sure was completely evacuated from your hair. I think I lathered and rinsed twice once when I got boot in my hair. Tough to get all that boot out.
Me and three buddies helped a friend move into a 4th floor walkup last weekend. Anyway, towards the end of the day, we carried this guy's huge couch up four flights of steps. Given that there were four other people involved, I decided that it was ok for me to "fake lift" the couch up the steps. I put my hands under the couch just like everyone else, had a strained look on my face and make appropriate grunting noises. The other guys clearly were really lifting, and they had no idea what I was doing. Am I a bad guy for engaging in this fraud? Isn't everyone entitled to a "fake lift" every now and then?
Yes. Absolutely. I enjoy coming in late to the group heavy object lift and grabbing it in one of those magic spots where there is no weight being borne. If enough people lift one heavy object, there are always spots like that. It's one of the more pleasant surprises of a move.
When moving, I used to get off on moving very large and cumbersome (but light) objects on my won with no assistance. Makes you totally look strong. "Are you gonna move that whole plush chair yourself?" Oh, yes. BANK ON IT. Sometimes, if you're lucky, a woman will watch you move the whole object with a look of concern on her face the whole time. She thinks you're going to drop it. BUT YOU DON'T. FUCKING STRONG.
Occasionally I'll catch myself worrying what would happen if I suddenly forgot how to breathe. There would be that small moment in time when I almost swallow my tongue, followed by extreme panic as I can't figure out how to open my throat again. I usually just tell myself that if it hasn't happened yet, it probably won't but, like clockwork, at least once a month I am overtaken with anxiety about it (for at least 4 seconds).
I only get that same pang of anxiety whenever I take over voluntary breathing functions for something like stretching, or just breathing slowly to calm down. Once I become conscious of my breathing, I get a little worried that the involuntary function may never come back, and I'll have to spend the rest of my life remembering to inhale and shit.
I reply to IMs while masturbating. Chances are if you know me, and have IM'd me with any sort of frequency in the past 14 years, I've taken a moment out of my jerking to kindly reply to you.
That is wrong, and I don't condone it. You're going to slime your keyboard doing that.
If you're ever at one of those restaurants with a self-service soft serve machine and the "ice cream" is coming out a bit slowly, I highly suggest making groaning sounds as if the machine is in the midst of a difficult dump. Any eight-year-old boy in line behind you will find it quite entertaining.
What restaurant has that? Golden Corral? I'd abuse that thing like a robot lover.
True story: I purchased my first box of tampons last September (I'm a 25 year old dude) before going to Kabul, Afghanistan for the first time. I had heard they were good for plugging bullet holes in the event you found yourself perforated by an AK-47. I bought the heaviest flow I could find because I figured I'm a bleeder. I bought the generic CVS brand; should I have splurged for name-brand tampons?
I defer to Iraq vet Matt Ufford on this. Uff says:
I have yet to hear the theory that you should jam something inside a bullet wound — especially since first aid compresses already exist (also, those compresses are designed for combat use and easy to tear open, not wrapped in plastic like tampons).
That said, as with all other products, the higher price of name-brand products in drug stores is only for the slick packaging. I would guess that the CVS tampons stop blood flow just as well Tampax or whatever.
So there you go. You made both a wise purchase AND a stupid purchase. Give them to your mom.
Finally today, yet another GREAT MOMENT IN POOP HISTORY. And once again, we deal with the Vice Presidency.
Zach [NOTE: It's come to our attention that this story bears a striking resemblance to this one, from The Foggy Monocle]:
I headed to the bathroom before going back to work. I was finishing up my pee (definitely NOT masturbating) when two men in suits entered, each sporting dark sunglasses and a white telephone cord that reached from their left ear backwards into the collar of their jacket. Completely brushing past me and another gentleman at the sink, they proceeded to open every stall and inspect, flushing one of them as they continued to probe the lavatory. It reminded me of a cop looking for drugs at my house. As my curiosity neared its apex, I saw one of the men raise his hand to his face and speak furtively into his mic, "We're all clear."
Suddenly the bathroom door flew open as if drawn by a magnet, and then Vice President Cheney himself entered hastily with his hand clutching his gut. Ushered by another service agent, he gave my fellow witness and me the slightest head nod as he rifled for the appointed stall. While my powder room corroborator exited the bathroom immediately, I idled for a second, spurred by my hangover perhaps, and "feigned" vanity as I peered into the mirror. Soon it happens. A few noises emanated from that fated stall, sounding off like a bag of pudding rupturing violently from the inside, followed by a barely audible vocal contraction. Holy shit! So the second-in-command of our country is not immune to gastrointestinal volatility. Any pangs of disgust were immediately overruled by the goofy smile I was involuntarily forced to wear. This was obviously too much to take. Shooting for the door, I caught a stern glance from one of the Matrix dudes that conveyed the unspoken words, "You better not fucking tell anyone about this." I suppose the widespread dissemination of this story is just my cross to bear.
He greeted that toilet as a liberator.


text:
Dear TIs and other Friends,
Time is flying for me as I lost my job of 24 years. However, God's in His heaven all is right with the world.
The hacking, the wire tapping, the stealing, vandalism and constant surveillance continues on and on. The good news is that I have learned how to live with it, and how to even use it for my good.
Even our wonderful Lord Jesus learned obedience through the things that He suffered. God allows all of it for our good as in the end; it will all be similar to what Job suffered in the ancient Biblical Book of Job.
In the end; he was healed, and he received great restoration and restitution. He was blessed even greater than he had been in the first part of his life.
Why, was Job attacked by Satan? It was because Job was the most righteous man on the face of the earth during his time. God trusted in the fact that Job would not turn against Him or fall. God allowed the attack of the devil because He knew that the sufferings of Job would perfect him.
The sufferings of Job would strengthen Job and make him more of a powerful intercessor. He was told to pray for the friends that had accused him falsely.
We need to thank God daily as we are being harassed knowing that it is all working together for our good and for God's glorious purposes.
The perpetrators are being used by Satan and his servants, and unless they repent; they will suffer unending torture for all eternity. They are the losers, and they should be prayed for as they are in deep trouble with almighty God.
They are the real victims in this evil empire of the anti-Christ System or NWO fiasco. They are like puppets being controlled by demons and evil human spirits. They are under mind control from many sources which are all coming from Satan himself.
Much of what I have read by TI's HAS TO DO WITH THE ORIGIN OF THE GANG STALKERS. i HAVE FOUND THAT THEY COME FROM SATAN, AND THEY ARE CONTROLLED BY MIND CONTROL AND EVIL HUMAN AND DEMON SPIRITS. In short, gang stalkers are demonized human beings or they are hybrids which have no soul.
They have infiltrated every area of our society, churches, businesses, the Government, the schools, universities, the secret societies, the gangs, the covens, the UN, the cults, and the list could go on ad infinitude.
We should always realize that it involved a spiritual battle that has been raging since the Garden of Eden.
Psalm 2 asks, "Why do the heathen rage?". They rage because they are trying to come against God and His anointed people. If you are under attack; it is because you are on God's side or the winning side.
It is not so much where the source comes from, but what we can do to counteract their evil deeds of darkness using the authority we have as Christians.
God has given us all authority over these entities whether human, demonic or whatever. We use The Name of Jesus Christ, and we bind these forces of evil, blind them and render them powerless by the Blood of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Our weapons are not carnal or worldly, but they are powerful to the pulling down of these satanic strongholds.
In short, people who are demonized are under the control of the Lord Jesus, but we must speak out God's Words and power to take authority over them.
These rebellious people are doomed unless they repent. You can pray that our Lord Jesus Christ will tear down their witchcraft, sorcery, mind control, programming and all of their ritual curses, hexes and voo doo assaults.
You need to be into the Word of God and agree with God's Word to combat these satanic people and entities.
It seems as though Communism, terrorism and the satanists have all joined together against The Lord and His people as in Psalm 2.
Most people do not understand about the horrors of these three totalitarian beliefs because they have never been taught about them as they really are in our society. Communists are out to take every piece of private property from you. They want the money in your bank, your property, your home, your job and ultimately; they want to take your life.
Terrorists want to take over the world through killing each infidel one-by-one that will not bow their knee to Allah.
The satanists are totally selfish, and they want every one to destroy and sell out their souls as they have done. They live in homes all over this place, and they will kill their own children or whoever to gain their powers.
Beware, because they use all kinds of lies, deception and trickery to get people to join up with them. Once you join a secret society, a cult or one of these pagan groups; it is very difficult to get extricated from them.
Everything they do is staged and a deception. When you walk closely with The Lord Jesus; you will have more and more discernment, and you will have the ability to resist the devil and his dupes. The Bible says, submit unto God, resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
I would always be glad to pray for anyone who is trapped in a cult, coven or secret society or whatever.
The Lord came to set all of the captives free, and He is ready to set all those who have been deceived free. They will know the Truth, and The Truth will set them free.
Praise The Lord forever..
In His love and for His glory,
Peggy Kannaday
707 Torrey Pines Lane
Fort Mill, SC 29715
803 500 1267
Gangstalking Update August 04, 2016
Dear TIs and other Friends,

subset: commoncrawl


text:
Effective Back Pain Relief Techniques
When it comes to finding back pain relief, everyone has their own opinion. Some people swear by ice packs and others say that you should never exercise if you are experiencing back pain. It can be difficult to know which advice is right. Should you exercise or not? Both these questions must be answered because you do not want to make the wrong choice.
There are many reasons why someone might experience back pain. These reasons can range from injury to an ongoing problem that can be addressed. The most important thing is that you find a way for back pain relief.
Causes of Back Pain
There are many causes of back pain, but it can be difficult to pinpoint exactly what your problem is. You could be dealing with low back pain, but find it difficult to locate where the problem lies. The great thing about back pain relief is that it is not something that is limited to your back. This type of condition affects people all over the body. It can affect your neck, shoulders, arms, legs, and even your hands.
It can be difficult to pinpoint the exact cause. However, several factors can be taken into consideration. One factor is how long you have had your condition. Usually, it is a long case of back pain before the cause can be determined. Other factors involved include the activity level that you perform, such as lifting heavy objects.
Other causes of back pain can include inflammation and swelling. If you have pain from a specific injury, you must go see your doctor get a diagnosis. Even if you do not have a specific pain, inflammation and swelling can cause your condition to worsen. This is especially true if you lift heavy objects regularly.
Back Pain Relief
There are many methods of back pain relief that can be performed by yourself or a medical professional. When first trying to deal with back pain, the back muscles may need some time to warm up. You can try heating pads, patches for pain , hot baths, or heating pads that you can place on your back. It will give your back a chance to relax and warm up before moving on. The same goes for performing back exercises.
In addition to taking care of your back by warming up and relaxing, you can also use back supports and back braces. These products will help support your back and help with back pain relief. They work to keep your back in the proper position so that your spine does not curve. If you are having issues with your back, you may want to look into these back support products.
Whether you need back pain relief for a temporary situation or you are suffering from a long-term issue, there are several different ways to take care of the issue. If you have more severe back pain, you may want to seek medical attention. However, if you are looking for back pain relief from daily activities, there are plenty of ways to do this without having to make frequent trips to the doctor.
Many people exercise daily and are looking for back pain relief. One of the best things you can do for back pain relief is to strengthen your back muscles. This includes using a lumbar cushion when you are sitting. You can also strengthen your back while exercising by lying on your back and lifting your knees as you extend your back. Both of these techniques will help to strengthen your core muscles and will give your back a nice workout.
Other things you can do for back pain relief include taking breaks in between activities. If you are running on a treadmill all day, you will find that you will likely overheat on the backside. If you can take a break every half hour or so, you will find that you can cool down and reduce the amount of heat you feel on your back. You can also try to avoid sitting down for long periods. Instead, try to spread out your weight over a wider area.
Another important step when trying to reduce back pain is to try to prevent the injury from happening. When you get out of bed in the morning, you should stretch to prevent injury to your back. If you sit down for long periods, you should also try to avoid slouching. If you are doing the heavy lifting, make sure that you wear a support belt. And finally, wear shoes that are the right width for your feet.
How To Find The Right Cognitive Behaviour Therapist For You?
Cognitive behaviour therapy, sometimes known as CBT, is a type of psychological therapy that is beneficial in the treatment of a wide variety of mental health illnesses, such as anxiety disorders, depression, and addiction. The primary goal of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is to alter destructive patterns of thought and behavior by recognizing and disputing cognitive misconceptions.
If you are considering getting cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), selecting the correct therapist to work with might be an important step on the path to better mental health. The following are some suggestions that can assist you in locating an appropriate cognitive behaviour therapist for your needs.
Get Recommendations
The first thing you should do while looking for a cbt thailand therapist is to speak with someone you have confidence in, such as your primary care physician, close friends, or members of your family. They might have had firsthand experience with cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), or they might know someone who has. You may also contact your health insurance provider to obtain a list of CBT therapists that participate in their network.
Carry Out Some Study
When you have a list of potential therapists to choose from, the next step is to do some research to learn more about their credentials, years of experience, and approach to therapy. On the websites of professional organizations such as the American Psychological Association or the Canadian Psychological Association, you will be able to check their qualifications. You can learn about the experiences of other patients by reading internet reviews written by those individuals.
Verify Any Claims Of Specialization
Not many mental health professionals are certified to provide cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), as it is a specialized form of talk therapy. You should look for therapists who have both specialized training in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and expertise in treating the particular mental health illness that you are seeking help with. Because of this, the treatment that you receive will be as beneficial as is humanly possible.
Take Into Account The Logistics
When looking for a cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) therapist, logistics should also be a major concern. Consider things like the location of the mental health retreat, where the therapist operates, whether or not they are available, and how much they charge. Choose a therapist whose office is easily accessible from where you live and whose hours are flexible enough to accommodate yours. Think about how much money you can set aside for therapy, as well as whether or not your health insurance would cover it.
Talk Things Out With The Therapist
It is crucial to visit with a potential therapist to discuss your concerns and treatment goals before making a commitment to therapy with a specific professional. This will provide you with insight into their method of treatment and allow you to determine whether or not they are a good fit for you. Ask them about their expertise and training in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), as well as their success rate in treating your specific illness, and their approach to therapy while you are meeting with them.
Trust Your Gut
When choosing a cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) specialist, the degree to which you feel at ease in their presence is ultimately the most significant consideration. Put your faith in your gut feelings and select a therapist who you believe will pay attention to you, honor the things that are important to you, and recognize your worries. Keep in mind that therapy is a process in which participants work together and that for you to make progress, you need to feel that you are being protected and supported.
Final Words
Finding the proper cognitive behaviour therapy is a vital step in achieving greater mental health, which is why you should take the time to do your research. You can select a therapist who is well-equipped to assist you in overcoming your mental health difficulties if you do your research, verify that they have a specialty, take into consideration the logistics, visit with the therapist, and trust your instinct.
6 Things To Do After Being Involved in a Rideshare Accident
Rideshare programs have become a popular choice for traveling. Most people without cars use them to get around. That said, rideshare accidents have also become common, and some lead to severe injuries. Because these drivers work for rideshare companies, most people often wonder about the steps to take after getting involved in an accident with such drivers. Here are some of the things you need to do.
Check for Injuries
The first thing you need to do after an accident is to check for injuries. Your health should be your concern. If you have other passengers in the car and you can move, check if they are injured as well. Don't move anyone who is unconscious, as you don't know the extent of their injuries. If you have first aid knowledge, you can help, but don't give medical care beyond what you're qualified to do. You may end up causing more injuries.
Seek Medical Care
Seek medical attention even if you can't see any injuries. Accidents tend to shock the people involved, which can prevent them from feeling any pain at the moment. The doctor will evaluate you and give you a clean bill of health if you're fine or treat you for any injuries. The effects of car accidents can be long-lasting, especially if you ignore immediate medical care. That's why it's advisable to ensure you are okay.
Document the Scene of an Accident
If you can move, document the accident scene by taking photos and videos. Capture the location of each vehicle, the damage caused, nearby traffic signs and lights, and the surroundings. Even if you're a passenger who ordered the rideshare vehicle, you should still collect evidence. It will come in handy when filing an injury claim. Plus, the evidence can prove who is responsible for the accident.
Report the Accident to the Police
Always call the police after being hit by a car. Often, most people try to solve the issue independently, only for the arrangement to backfire. Let the police come and write a report of the accident. You'll need it when filing an insurance claim. The police will speak to everyone at the scene and write a neutral record. They might also issue a ticket to the driver who violated traffic laws.
Contact An Attorney
Most people assume you should only contact a lawyer when the insurance company is frustrated. However, you need to involve them from the start. Find a good car accident lawyer at Reinartz Law Firm who will advise you about the steps to take. Rideshare companies and insurance carriers have a lot of experience with car accident claims and can try to lowball you. A lawyer will argue on your behalf and ensure you get fair compensation.
Contact Your Insurance Company
Always contact your insurance company, regardless of who will be found at fault after a rideshare accident. That simple call will get the ball rolling on your compensation. It's also an official notice, just in case things don't go as planned and you have to depend on your policy to cover the expenses you incur. While the rideshare driver's insurance coverage may pay for your expenses, their coverage may not be adequate. In such a case, your underinsured coverage will cover the extra cost, saving you additional expenses.
Getting hit by a rideshare driver is complicated. That's because the drivers have to get their personal insurance coverage, and the rideshare company only provides additional coverage. As such, it can be hard to know who to deal with. That's why you need an experienced car accident lawyer who will know how to navigate all these and secure you a fair settlement.
Fruits for Fitness: Top Ten Health Benefits of Fruits
Fruits are not only delicious but they are also packed with essential nutrients that can help to improve overall health and well-being. From reducing the risk of chronic diseases to improving digestive health and boosting immune function, there are many benefits to consuming a variety of fruits as part of a balanced diet.
In this article, we will explore the numerous health benefits of fruits and provide examples of fruits that are particularly beneficial for each benefit. So, read on to learn more about the amazing health benefits of fruits and how you can incorporate them into your diet for optimal health.
Fruits are an essential component of a healthy diet and provide a variety of health benefits. Some of the health benefits of fruits include:
1. Fruits are Nutrient Rich
Fruits are rich in vitamins, minerals, and other nutrients that are essential for the proper functioning of the body. Many fruits are rich in a variety of nutrients, but some particularly nutrient-dense fruits include berries (such as blueberries, raspberries, and strawberries), citrus fruits (such as oranges and grapefruits), kiwifruit, mangoes, and papayas.
2. Low in Calories
Most fruits are low in calories and high in fiber, which can help to reduce the risk of obesity and other chronic diseases. Fruits that are particularly low in calories include watermelon, cantaloupe, honeydew melon, strawberries, raspberries, blackberries, and blueberries.
3. Rich in Antioxidants
Fruits are rich in antioxidants, which can help to prevent damage to the cells in the body and reduce the risk of chronic diseases such as cancer, heart disease, and Alzheimer's disease. Berries (such as blueberries, raspberries, and strawberries), pomegranates, grapes, and cherries are particularly rich in antioxidants.
4. Reduce the Risk of Chronic Diseases
The consumption of fruits has been linked to a reduced risk of chronic diseases such as heart disease, stroke, diabetes, and some cancers. Apples, oranges, bananas, berries, grapes, and kiwifruit have all been linked to a reduced risk of chronic diseases.
5. Improve Digestive Health
The fiber in fruits can help to promote healthy digestion and reduce the risk of constipation. Fruits that are particularly high in fiber and can help promote healthy digestion include raspberries, blackberries, pears, apples, bananas, and oranges.
6. Skin Health and Appearance
Fruits are rich in vitamins and antioxidants, which can help to improve the health and appearance of the skin. Fruits that are particularly rich in vitamin C and other antioxidants, which can help to improve the health and appearance of the skin, include kiwifruit, oranges, papayas, strawberries, and watermelon.
7. Increases Immunity
Fruits are rich in vitamin C, which can help to improve immune function and reduce the risk of infections. Fruits that are particularly high in vitamin C and can help to improve immune function include kiwifruit, oranges, grapefruit, strawberries, and papayas.
8. Lower the Risk of Stroke
Some studies have found that consuming fruits, especially berries and citrus fruits, may help to lower the risk of stroke. This may be due to the anti-inflammatory and antioxidant compounds found in fruits. Some fruits that may be especially beneficial for reducing the risk of stroke include citrus fruits (such as oranges and grapefruit), berries (such as strawberries, blueberries, and raspberries), and apples.
9. Improve Mental Health
Fruits, especially berries and citrus fruits have been linked to improved cognitive function and a reduced risk of cognitive decline. This may be due to their high content of flavonoids and other antioxidants. Berries (such as blueberries and strawberries) and citrus fruits (such as oranges and grapefruit) are particularly rich in flavonoids and other antioxidants that have been linked to improved cognitive function.
10. Reduce Inflammation
Fruits, especially those that are rich in antioxidants, have anti-inflammatory properties that can help to reduce inflammation in the body. This may help to reduce the risk of chronic diseases such as heart disease, diabetes, and cancer. Fruits that are particularly high in antioxidants, such as berries (such as blueberries, raspberries, and blackberries), cherries, and pomegranates, have anti-inflammatory properties that can help to reduce inflammation in the body.
6 Dance Styles That Can Boost Your Fitness
"Dance is the hidden language of the soul"- Martha Graham.
It is one of those activities which can liberate you from stress and elevate your mood. And you must be very much aware of the fact that dancing on a regular basis is one of the best ways to remain fit, both mentally and physically. Why is it different and better than the conventional style of working out? Because it is total fun, you don't even realize that you are working out every muscle of yours.
Check out these 5 popular dance styles which will make your fitness journey a lot easier and more fun!
1. Contemporary
The dance genre was developed in the mid-twentieth century as one of the most expressive dance styles. The popularity of the genre has sky-rocketed around the globe, especially in Europe and America. It has elements of lyrical and classical ballet and jazz dance forms.
When you will acquire the skill of the dance form you will realize that it empowers you to express your deepest feelings through your body movements. One can choose a wide array of music to deploy the techniques of a contemporary dance performance.
2. Dance Yoga
Yoga is undoubtedly one of the most practiced posture-based mental, spiritual, and physical fitness techniques. With increasing popularity, yoga enthusiasts have devised a dance style that is widely grabbing a lot of attention among fitness enthusiasts. If you believe in the power of Yoga, you should definitely try Dance Yoga which incorporates moves inspired by Yoga asanas. These moves can be very basic combined with simple music like chants or drum beats or they can be complicated asanas combined with fast-beat music.
This workout style is a perfect way to reap the benefits of yoga along with the joy that comes along with its music. If dance is not your style, you can simply register yourself in online yoga classes.
3. Hip Hop
This dance form has been representing the young generation for three decades. The more you understand and practice Hip-Hop, you'll realize that it is a culture more than a dance form. It is made up of exciting elements of music and arts like B-boying, Graffiti, MCing, and Deejaying. And even if you have developed a little skill in the dance style, you will understand that it is all about attitude, self-knowledge, and expression.
If you are a fitness freak, you'll soon discover hip-hop hits in your workout playlist. The fast-paced music, the beats, and the lyrics literally multiply the zeal and the effort you put into your fitness sessions.
4. Zumba
The Latin dance style, Zumba is widely practiced as a group workout, around the globe. The interval training dance style incorporates low and high-intensity dance moves, designed to enhance heart health. To groove on the fusion of Latin and international music will give you a party-like experience. And you won't even realize that you are working on those extra pounds.
Whether you are dancing alone at home or grooving with a group in a Zumba class, you will enjoy the dance numbers and the moves, even if you are not that good at it. In a good 60-minute Zumba session, you can burn an average of 370 calories, which is more than the calories burnt in aerobics and kickboxing. With consistency, you can achieve great flexibility, strong core muscles, and a great physique.
5. Masala Bhangra
Masala Bhangra Workout has revolutionized the high-energy Indian folk dance of Bhangra. It is a perfect alchemy of Bhangra, Bollywood dance style, Hip-Hop, and Salsa. It is fun to incorporate this dance style as a workout regimen as it is fun and rigorous at the same time. A good Masala Bhangra workout training can help you burn approximately 500 calories, which is more than burnt in Zumba!
The high-intensity workout form, Masala Bhangra is a great way to work on your stamina, balance, endurance, and overall body strength. You can view some of the cool moves on youtube to ensure that it is one of the most recent and interesting ways to boost your fitness.
6. Belly Dancing
This core-strengthening dance form is a great workout option. Although it goes way back to the 18th century, it is incorporated in so many movies and global stages today. Besides its popularity, it has several benefits to offer. It especially targets the stomach, oblique, glutes, and thighs. Moreover, it helps in enhancing posture, body coordination, and balance.
The music is also rich in beats and rhythm. If you are impressed with this dance form you can explore some awesome belly dance classes architected by highly trained and acclaimed teachers on ipassio. Once you will add this dance form to your workout regimen, you will realize that it is inexplicably addictive.
Dance your way to Fitness
"To dance is to be out of yourself, larger, more beautiful, more powerful. This power, it is glory on earth and it is yours for the taking"- Agnes De Mille
So why not equip yourself with the powers of a dance style of your choice? Because, if a person is fit and happy from within, it reflects physically. You will feel younger, stronger, and more confident if you are consistent with your dance practice.
So give a fun angle to your workout sessions with passion dance classes from the convenience of your homes.
Things To Know About Tests and Procedures Used to Diagnose Cancer
Cancer diagnoses are a terrifying reality for many people, and the tests and procedures used to confirm them can be confusing and overwhelming. Understanding the different types of tests and methods used to diagnose cancer is essential for anyone who wants to make an informed decision about their care.
This blog post will discuss some critical things about tests and procedures used to diagnose cancer, including what they are, why they're done, how they're performed, and what results they can provide.
We'll also discuss common treatments that may be recommended after a diagnosis. Many CROs manage clinical trials for various diseases, and some CROs specialize in oncology trials. Knowing more about how cancer is diagnosed can help you make decisions that will be vital in your fight against the disease.
Imaging Tests for Cancer
Depending on the type of cancer, your doctor may order one or more imaging tests to help make a diagnosis. Imaging tests use x-rays, magnetic fields, sound waves, or radioactive substances to create pictures of the inside of your body. Some imaging tests are used to look for cancer, while others are used to find out how far it has spread.
Your doctor may order a computed tomography (CT) scan to look for cancer in your body. During a CT scan, you lie on a table, and an x-ray machine rotates around you, taking detailed pictures of your organs and structures. A CT scan can sometimes find cancers too small to be seen with other imaging tests.
Your doctor may also order a magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) scan to look for cancer in your body. An MRI uses powerful magnets and radio waves to create detailed pictures of your organs and structures. MRI scans can sometimes find cancers too small to be seen with other imaging tests.
Your doctor may also order an ultrasound exam to look for cancer in your body. During an ultrasound exam, a transducer device is placed against your skin. The transducer emits sound waves that bounce off tissues and organs inside your body and create echoes. These echoes are converted into images that can be seen on a monitor. Ultrasound exams can sometimes find cancers too small to be seen with other imaging tests.
Biopsy Procedures
Several types of biopsy procedures can be used to diagnose cancer. The type of biopsy procedure used will depend on the location and type of cancer being diagnosed.
- A needle biopsy is a common type of biopsy procedure. A needle biopsy can be performed using a fine or core needle. A fine needle biopsy uses a thin needle to remove cells from the body. A core needle biopsy uses a giant hand to remove a small piece of tissue from the body.
- A surgical biopsy is another type of biopsy procedure. A surgical biopsy involves removing all or part of the tumor for examination. This type of Biopsy is usually done under general anesthesia, which means you will be asleep during the procedure.
- A skin biopsy is another procedure that can be used to diagnose skin cancer. A skin biopsy involves removing a small sample of skin for examination. This type of Biopsy can be done using a razor blade, punch Biopsy, or excisional Biopsy.
Endoscopic Procedures
Endoscopic procedures are a group of diagnostic tests and procedures using a long, thin tube with a light and camera attached. The tube is inserted through a small incision in the body or natural openings, such as the mouth. Endoscopic procedures allow your doctor to see inside your body without making a large incision.
There are many different types of endoscopic procedures, each with its own set of risks and benefits. Your doctor will discuss each procedure's risks and benefits before deciding which is right for you.
Some standard endoscopic procedures used to diagnose cancer include:
A colonoscopy examines the large intestine (colon) lining for abnormalities. A colonoscopy can also remove polyps, which are growths on the colon lining that may become cancerous if left untreated.
Gastroscopy examines the stomach's lining for abnormalities. A gastroscopy can also be used to remove polyps from the stomach lining.
A bronchoscopy is used to examine the airways for abnormalities. A bronchoscopy can also take biopsies (tissue samples) from suspicious areas.
Endoscopic Ultrasound
For abnormalities, an endoscopic ultrasound examines the digestive organs (such as the stomach, small intestine, and colon). Endoscopic ultrasound can also be used to take biopsies from these organs.
A cystoscopy examines the bladder and urethra (the tube leading from the bladder to the outside of the body) for abnormalities. A cystoscopy can also be used to take biopsies from suspicious areas of the bladder or urethra.
Endoscopic procedures are usually performed on an outpatient basis, meaning you will not have to stay in a hospital overnight. The procedure may cause slight discomfort but should not cause severe pain. Your doctor will provide detailed instructions on preparing for your procedure and what you should expect during and after it.
Surgical Procedures
Many different types of surgical procedures can be used to diagnose cancer. The most common type of surgery is a biopsy, in which a small tissue sample is removed from the body for examination. Other surgeries used to diagnose cancer may include fine needle aspiration, core needle biopsy, and incisional Biopsy. Surgery is usually only performed if there is a suspicion of cancer-based on other tests, such as X-rays or CT scans.
In some cases, surgery may also be used to treat cancer. This type of surgery is often called an excisional biopsy or resection. The entire tumor or affected tissue area is removed from the body during this procedure. Surgery can also remove lymph nodes that may contain cancerous cells.
Molecular Diagnostics
Molecular diagnostics is a rapidly evolving field that offers new hope for more accurate, earlier, and less invasive cancer detection. Molecular tests are performed on a patient's DNA to look for specific cancer-related changes (mutations). These tests can be used to detect the presence of cancer, to help diagnose the type and stage of cancer, and to guide treatment decisions.
Molecular diagnostics is still a relatively new field, and there is much ongoing research to improve its accuracy and broaden its applications. However, molecular tests are already used in clinical practice to inform cancer diagnosis and treatment decisions. For example, the genetic test known as fluorescence in situ hybridization (FISH) can detect certain chromosomal changes associated with specific types of cancer. FISH testing is often used along with other diagnostic tests, such as cytogenetic testing, for a more definitive diagnosis.
Molecular diagnostics holds excellent potential for improving cancer diagnosis and treatment. As this field continues to evolve and new technologies become available, researchers hope that molecular diagnostics will become an even more valuable tool in the fight against cancer.
A cancer diagnosis can be a complicated process, and many tests and procedures are used for diagnosis. We hope this article has provided you with an overview of the standard tests used to diagnose cancer so that you can feel more informed about the steps involved. It is essential to consult your doctor if you have any questions or concerns about the test results, as they can provide advice tailored specifically to your situation.
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'Sister Wives' Stars Kody, Robyn Brown Expecting
It looks like the Brown family is yet adding another baby to the mix. According to an exclusive report from PEOPLE, Kody Brown, star of the TLC reality series 'Sister Wives,' is expecting a baby with his fourth wife, Robyn (pictured, far right). "You should have seen the look on his face when we found out," Robyn told PEOPLE. "It was priceless."


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DLTK's Crafts for Kids
: Printable Word Ladder Puzzles
Lewis Carroll, the writer of Alice in Wonderland, invented this word game. It's a terrific exercise for grade school children -- fun and educational!
- Print out the template and complete the word ladder listed based on the clues provided.
- There are three versions of each word ladder -- the hard version has none of the ladder filled in, the medium version has two letters of each word filled in and the easy version has three letters of each word filled in.
- Change one letter of the word for each rung of the ladder to form a new word -- the clues will help you figure out what the word should be.
- Complete all of the rungs of the ladder to complete the puzzle!
Craft Templates:
- Close the template window after printing to return to this screen.
- Set page margins to zero if you have trouble fitting the template on one page (FILE, PAGE SETUP or FILE, PRINTER SETUP in most browsers).
Elephant: HUGE to EARS
Word Ladder template - hard color or B&W
Word Ladder template - medium color or B&W
Word Ladder template - easy color or B&W
Answer Key B&W


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Automatically sign non-scratch builds as they happen in Koji with a gpg key.
Problem Space
Compose Times
By manually signing packages with different keys for different releases we increase the amount of time it takes to compose due to
- Having to manually initiate a signing run of the packages to be composed
- Having to verify that the packages being pulled from koji match the signature for the repo being composed
- Having to verify delta rpms to ensure they still match the signature of the packages being deltæd
Currently only packages in updates, updates-testing, the release tree, and sometimes rawhide are signed. Consumers of packages directly from koji have no easy way to verify that the package they are consuming was actually built using Fedora's Koji build system.
Because we have unsigned packages in rawhide, we are unable to force gpgcheck=1 in yum configs, which would protect users from consuming packages outside of Fedora that are not properly signed.
Currently by using multiple keys, a false sense of "Trust" to the quality of the packages has been assumed by the user. This assumption is incorrect.
Signature Changes
When we change the gpg signature on packages it introduces a change to the rpm file without a change to the epoch:name-version-release of the package. Some systems don't handle this very well. It also prevents us from being able to use hardlinks between builds of packages that have not changed from release to release.
By using multiple signatures for packages, we have to store written out copies of the signed packages in the koji store, duplicating a lot of package data for a tiny change in the header of a package, or we have to enable our compose tools to have authority to write out signed versions of the packages they wish to access at compose time, increasing risk in our compose tools to do damage and increasing time necessary to do composes.
Solution Overview
As non-scratch builds complete in Koji, an automated tool will gpg sign and write out on the koji store a signed version of that build. A single gpg key will be used to sign all the builds. This key will indicate that the package came from Fedora (koji) and has not been tampered with since.
- Koji
- Signing Server
- package manager configurations
- Documentation
Discussion Points
We need to discuss the proper way to stage builds before they are signed, to ensure that no builds go out to users before they have been signed. We could:
- Adjust make build to do a --skip-tag build, and only apply the tag after the package has been signed.
- Adjust the build targets to tag into a -candidate like tag and only move to a dist-??? tag once the build has been signed.
We need to balance the desire to reduce churn and complexity of having multiple keys with the potential for one key compromise to compromise all the packages for ever.


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We're big readers here at CCC. As Mr. King reminds us below, that's a good thing because we're writers, and we like to be well-versed at our craft. Reading is important even if you don't write though. Business professionals and owners everywhere can benefit from knowledge and experience shared in a good book.
"If you don't have time to read, you don't have the time (or tools) to write. Simple as that." -Stephen King
So let's have a book swap! Below we've shared 5 books that have helped us in business (in no particular order), and we'd love to hear your recommendations in the comments.
- Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking — Studies show that introverts are one-third to half of the U.S. population, and this book tells you how to embrace their personality and management style to improve your corporate culture and team. Introvert or not, every business professional needs to read this book.
- Death to All Sacred Cows — The most common negative review we've seen about this book is that its content is old news. Then why do so many businesses large and small still adhere to sacred cows for no reason? Beliefs such as, "The customer's always right" can put you out of business. Read this book before that happens to you.
- David And Goliath: Underdogs, Misfits, And The Art Of Battling Giants — Let's be honest; any book by Malcolm Gladwell is a good choice, but we loved this one. David And Goliath shows how perceived underdogs may not be underdogs at all. This is a great read for small business owners everywhere who are wondering how to compete against bigger and better-funded opponents.
- Linchpin: Are You Indispensable? The business world is constantly changing, and Seth Godin shows you how to be a linchpin. This book will help guide your career in corporate America or on your own, making you indispensable to bosses, organizations, business partners and clients. (Similar to Gladwell, any Godin book is a good and worthwhile read.)
- It's Not About the Coffee — "We're in the people business serving coffee, not the coffee business serving people." Howard Behar talks about taking a people-centric approach and treating employees, business partners and clients as people — not revenue sources, assets or labor costs. It's crazy how many businesses don't understand this concept, and the results you'll achieve once you do.
BONUS: Things a Little Bird Told Me — Biz Stone, co-founder of Twitter, takes readers along on his unpredictable journey and shares smart business lessons along the way. He focuses on the power of creativity and how to harness it to achieve success.
As we were compiling this list, we kept coming up with additional suggestions. As bookworms, it's difficult to limit any reading list to five recommendations! We're sure we missed some, but that's the beauty of reading lists — they're constantly evolving.
"Books are a uniquely portable magic." -Stephen King
What books have helped you in business or in life?
Have you read a children's or YA book that's relevant in your adult life?
What's your favorite literature genre?
Your favorite bookworm,
Let's chat (about good books, your marketing needs or otherwise):


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Watch President Obama Age 10 Years in 5 Years in 2 Minutes
As President Obama begins his second term in office, it's important to take a look back at just how much he's aged during his first one.
Artist Jeremy Tubbs has an art project dedicated to doing just that.
In Presidial, the Chicago-based Tubbs stitches together over 2,500 photos of POTUS taken from January 2008 through December 2012 to create a two-minute time-lapse that makes one thing very clear: Being president is a pretty stressful gig.


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The Jews of Khazaria, Third Edition (Hardcover)
Usually Ships in 1-5 Days
The Jews of Khazaria explores the history and culture of Khazaria-a large empire in eastern Europe (located in present-day Ukraine and Russia) in the early Middle Ages noted for its adoption of the Jewish religion. The third edition of this modern classic features new and updated material throughout, including new archaeological findings, new genetic evidence, and new information about the migration of the Khazars. Though little-known today, Khazaria was one of the largest political formations of its time-an economic and cultural power connected to several important trade routes and known for its religious tolerance. After the royal family converted to Judaism in the ninth century, many nobles and common people did likewise. The Khazars were ruled by a succession of Jewish kings and adopted many hallmarks of Jewish civilization, including study of the Torah and Talmud, Hebrew script, and the observance of Jewish holidays. The third edition of The Jews of Khazaria tells the compelling true story of this kingdom past.
About the Author
Kevin Alan Brook is an American historian and genetic genealogy consultant who has researched the Khazars since 1993. He contributed an article about the Khazars to The Encyclopaedia of Judaism, second edition, and wrote an introduction for Rabbi Daniel Korobkin's translation of The Kuzari. He also researches Sephardic Jewish migrations throughout the world and the presence of Jewish ancestry among Latin Americans, Sicilians, and Slavs. His website is Khazaria.com.
The online inventory display is updated every 4 hours. If you wish to check the actual in store stock, please call 337-2681 or 1-800-295-BOOK (2665) during store hours.
*Please place your holiday gift orders by December 11th to ensure their timely arrival. Orders placed beyond that date for items that we do not have in stock are unlikely to reach completion before 12/25*


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$2.5 Million Contemporary Home in Historic Savannah
By admin • Aug 16, 2011 • Selected Work
Savannah is the largest city and county seat of Chatham County, in the U.S. state of Georgia.
Nestled amongst century old live oak trees, this three beroom, two bathroom is a successful blend of a contemporary residence with its mid-nineteenth century Savannah Landmark Historic neighbors.
The 3,756 square foot single family home features 22 feet floor-to-ceiling windows positioned to draw the eye to the pool and garden, a detached two car garage, a separate pool house, an office and a powder room.
View in galleryView in gallery
Photos courtesy of Celia Dunn
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March 15, 2014 – 1:08PM
Lindsay Murdoch
The latest evidence emerging from the United States suggest MH370 was set on a deliberate navigational route, turning attention back on its pilots.
Kuala Lumpur: The latest evidence emerging from the United States suggests that missing Malaysia Airlines flight MH370 was set on a deliberate navigational route in the opposite direction to its scheduled flight path, swinging the focus of police investigations back to the pilots, crew and passengers.
Evidence suggests that somebody with flying experience set the Boeing plane's route manually or programmed its auto-pilot so that it flew hundreds of kilometres off course into the vast expanses of the Indian Ocean.
Key evidence also indicates a gap of some minutes between the time the plane's transponder stopped and a messaging system cut out, lessening the likelihood of a catastrophic mid-air explosion.
India used heat sensors on flights over hundreds of uninhabited Andaman Sea islands such as North Sentinel Island and will expand its search for the missing Malaysia Airlines jet farther west into the Bay of Bengal, officials said. Photo: AP Photo
Information about the changed route emerged as theories about the plane's abrupt disappearance continued to swirl, perhaps none wilder than a tweet from News Corp chairman Rupert Murdoch.
He wrote: ''World seems transfixed by 777 disappearance. Maybe no crash but stolen, effectively hidden, perhaps in Northern Pakistan, like Bin Laden.''
The New York Times reported investigators also are looking at the possibility that a shipment of lithium batteries in the airliner's cargo hold may have caught fire and felled the aircraft.
Outpouring of emotion … A woman writes a message on a banner for passengers of missing Malaysian Airlines Flight 370 at Kuala Lumpur International Airport (KLIA) in Sepang, Malaysia. Photo: Bloomberg
A senior American official who had been briefed on the contents listed on the plane's cargo manifest said a "significant load" of lithium batteries had been aboard — raising suspicions because of previous cargo-plane crashes attributed to lithium battery shipments, which can overheat and cause intense fires.
But that possibility is inconsistent with information that the plane may have kept flying for hours after it vanished.
While the media focus has so far being on the so-called 27 year-old "party pilot" Fariq Abdul Hamid, who broke airlines rules by inviting two women passengers into the cockpit of plane in 2011, attention has now swung to the 53 year-old senior pilot Zaharie Ahmad Shah.
Flights continue … A Boeing 737-800 aircraft operated by Malaysian Airlines is prepared for take off at Kuala Lumpur International Airport (KLIA) in Sepang, Malaysia. Photo: Bloomberg
Television journalists in Kuala Lumpur reported that police had raided Mr Zaharie's home as evidence emerged pointing to piracy or pilot suicide, but officials denied it, saying his background was under the same scrutiny as all the 239 people on board.
Malaysia's Defence Minister Hishammuddin Hussein said if the investigation leads to the need to search Mr Zaharie's house and it is within the law "we will do it."
Malaysia Airlines played down the significance of Mr Zaharie having a flight simulator built into his home using three large computer monitors and other accessories.
Asked of its was unusual to have such equipment at home, Malaysia Airlines chief executive Ahmad Jauhari Yahya said: "everyone is free to do his own hobby."
Born in northern Penang state, Mr Zaharie was passionate about aviation, posting Facebook pictures of himself posing with his remote-controlled aircraft, which included a lightweight twin-engine helicopter and an amphibious aircraft.
He was a grandfather who played football with neighbourhood youngsters, was a good cook and supported Malaysia's opposition parties and had more than 18,000 hours flying experience.
Mr Fariq, the son of a high ranking civil servant, was contemplating marriage after just graduating to the cockpit of a Boeing 777.
As examination of the psychological backgrounds and personal lives of those on board continues, none have so far become official suspects in one of the most baffling mysteries in the history of modern aviation.
Authorities in Kuala Lumpur insist they are investigating every possible scenario for the plane vanishing on its scheduled flight path from Kuala Lumpur to Beijing early on March 8, including a mid-air disintegration caused by either a catastrophic mechanical fault or the planting of a bomb.
They have refused to comment on several United States media reports on the existence of military radar and signals collected by satellites which suggest the plane inexplicably turned around and flew back over the Malaysia peninsula and headed towards the Andaman Sea and the Indian Ocean.
Quoting sources familiar with the investigation, Reuters news agency said an unidentified aircraft, which investigators believe was the missing plane, followed a route between navigational waypoints, indicating it was being flown by someone with aviation training.
Mr Hishammuddin, the public face of his government's search effort, said the plane's transponder "could have been switched off deliberately or under duress because of an explosion."
"From the start, we are looking into all possibilities…I cannot confirm whether there was no hijacking but I do not want to go into the realm of speculation," he said.
Malaysian officials said they hope foreign experts brought in evaluate satellite information from a number of unnamed countries, but believed to include the US, will reveal over the next couple of days how the plane vanished, providing a critical breakthrough after a week of false leads, misinformation and confusion.
However the possibility of the plane flying in the direction of the Andaman islands and Indian Ocean has made one of the largest searches ever mounted in Asia more difficult, with thousands of square kilometres to be searched in the world's third largest ocean.
Aviation experts say it is possible, but highly unlikely, that if the plane was hijacked it could have landed without being detected.
The Indian Ocean region is highly militarised because of its strategic importance to India.
The plane had enough fuel to fly for several thousand kilometres.
Mr Hishammuddin, who is also acting transport minister, said the search was being expanded because nothing had been found during a week of searching.
"A normal investigation becomes narrower with time….as new information focuses the search, but this is not a normal investigation," he told reporters.
"In this case, the information has forced us to look further and further afield."
Mr Hishammuddin said the search would only be scaled down in the South China Sea, where the plane disappeared, if conclusive evidence emerged it was elsewhere.
The United States is sending the US Navy guided-missile destroyer USS Kidd to the Indian Ocean, joining Indian ships and planes already searching the region.
Over seven days search planes have directed ships to numerous oil slicks and debris over 27,000 square kilometres of the South China Sea but none have found to be from MH370.
Fifty-seven ships and 48 aircraft from 13 countries, including Australia, are involved in the search.
Source :The Sydney Morning Herald


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The works of Durham's Cassell on exhibit
ROCHESTER — The Franklin Gallery, 60 Wakefield St.r, will host an exhibit called A Crow in the Forest: Woodcuts by Rochester Artist Judith Heller Cassell for the month of April during regular business hours.
After doing extensive coursework at Virginia Commonwealth University, Cassell moved to Durham and earned a BFA in printmaking and sculpture from the University of New Hampshire. She has exhibited her dramatic multimedia works frequently in Seacoast New Hampshire, across New England and far beyond for many years. Her highly imaginative works have garnered wide critical acclaim for their powerful emotional content, poetic sensibilities, and the obvious mastery of her chosen media.
The works of Cassell, who was born in a log cabin in rural Virginia and spent countless days musing in the shadow of the Blue Ridge Mountains, have been deeply influenced by her childhood experiences. "Our past — our many memorable experiences — shape us and make us the people we become," says Cassell. "Sooner or later, our lives are reflected in our work, whether through conscious decisions or subconscious intervening. A haunting, melancholy spirit, drawn from those early times in the Virginia Mountains, can be found in nearly all of my works."
Drawing in the dirt was one of Cassell's earliest memories. "I remember the warmth of the sun on my back and the feel of the soil as it separated beneath my fingers," she says, "and the thrill of the magic that formed those images — that came from some unknown self. And to this day I continue to be enthralled when an image in my head merges with one in my heart and something is created that expresses the emotions I feel."
Cassell has participated in a long and impressive list of group and solo exhibits over the last several years, including the Members Touring Exhibition of The Boston Printmakers, 2010-2013; the LNHC Annual Print Show, Sunapee Fair, 1998-2012; Printmakers of the Year, Franklin Pierce Law School, 2001-2012; Summer at the Silver Center; The Robert Lincoln Levy Gallery in Portsmouth; Emporium Art and Framing in South Berwick; and, most recently, Plymouth State University's New Hampshire Women's Caucus for Art exhibit.
She has been an active, long-standing member of many artist's organizations including The Boston Printmakers, the League of New Hampshire Craftsmen, The New Hampshire Art Association, The New England Sculptors Association and The New Hampshire Women's Caucus for Art.
The Franklin Gallery is open Monday-Friday, 9 a.m.-8 p.m.; Saturday, 9 a.m.-6 p.m.; and Sunday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. For information about A Crow in the Forest and future Franklin Gallery exhibits, email Ross, the gallery manager, at firstname.lastname@example.com.


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Artificial Grass Installation – Coral Springs
The best artificial grass installation services in Coral Springs
We offer artificial turf services in Coral Springs. Call us today!
Timezone: EDT
Monday09:00 AM - 05:00 PM
Tuesday09:00 AM - 05:00 PM
Wednesday09:00 AM - 05:00 PM
Thursday09:00 AM - 05:00 PM
Friday09:00 AM - 05:00 PM
Saturday09:00 AM - 05:00 PM
Business Name:
Artificial Grass Installation – Coral Springs
3212 Coral Ridge Dr Ste ACoral Springs FL 33065United States
Neighborhoods in Coral Springs, FL
Addison Court, Arlington Park, Beachwood Heights, Brentwood Village, Brookside, Butler Farms, Castlewood, Central Corals, Chevy Chase, Coral Brook, Coral Creek, Coral Ridge, Coral Ridge Drive, Coral Ridge Isles, Coral Shores
Things to do in Coral Springs, FL
Ah-Tah-Thi-Ki Museum
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Transportation, Recreational Vehicles, Motocross & Dirt Bike, Sports, Recreation, & Lifestyle, Northern British Columbia, Canada
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