text:
My Family
My Family (2000–2011) is a BBC sitcom created by Fred Barron and starring Robert Lindsay and Zoë Wanamaker.
This page needs editing to sort the quotes into episodes. If you know which episode a quote belongs to, please help wikiquote by editing that section.
Series 1 (2000)[edit]
The Serpent's Tooth[edit]
- Nick is chatting online to a girl who, in Janey's opinion, sounds too good to be true
- Nick: She's French, she's called Isabelle, she's a swimwear model, and her father's the chairman of a major electronics business.
- Janey: Does the phrase "pull the other one" mean anything to you?
- Nick: (grins) Ah, you think she's got a sister?
- Ben notices a repair in one of Susan's teeth
- Ben: You've been seeing another dentist!
A Pain in the Class[edit]
- Ben is trying to encourage Michael to stand up to the school bully
- Ben: Come on! Scare me! Try and put me down!
- Michael: You're losing your hair, you're getting turkey neck, and the only reason you're a dentist is you failed to get into medical school!
- Susan: If you had been a more organised person, maybe you could've been a doctor by now!
- Ben: If you'd have been five inches taller, blonde, with long legs, you could've been a doctor's wife by now!
Droit de Seigneur Ben[edit]
- Janey: Dad, I'm not a vir...er...y naive person!
The Last Resort[edit]
- [first lines]
- Janey: Dad, I'm just curious. Are you planning to forget again this year?
- Ben: Ah. A riddle. I love a riddle. Let's see, the answer is: I don't know what you're talking about so go away.
- Janey: Mum's birthday.
- Ben: Oh my God, not again.
- Chloe: Those old people are swingers.
- Susan: Swingers? As in Glenn Miller, or as in Glenn Miller, his wife and the rest of his band?
Farewell to Alarms[edit]
- The new alarm system is causing too many problems
- Susan: They say it's there for our protection.
- Ben: Protection from what? I've almost broken my bloody neck on the staircase, I've got a son who's deaf, I've got a son in a coma, and a daughter as ugly as sin!
- The phone rings in the surgery and Ben answers it. It's Nick, and there are muffled sounds from the other end of the line:
- Ben: Yes, Nick...
- There is a short pause for more muffled sounds:
- Ben: Even if I had a thong, I wouldn't let you borrow it... No, your mother hasn't got one either.
- In the night, Ben and Susan hear a noise from downstairs and Susan sends him down to inspect:
- Ben: (as he enters the kitchen) Janey? Micheal? Nick?
- Dave: Dave.
- Ben: (spins around) Dave? We haven't got a Dave who are you?
- The next morning where everyone except Dave is downstairs:
- Ben: Nick, would you like to tell me what the hell 'Dave' is doing in our house?
- Nick: Oh yeah, Dad. You know how you told me I needed a new job, well guess what! I'm a landlord!
Death and Ben Take a Policy[edit]
- Susan complains about how people are forced to lock up their true emotions
- Ben: Susan, I'm a dentist. I spend all day listening to how people really feel, and it's usually "Ouch!" and after a long day of "Ouch!", I like to come home to a bit of "Aah..."
- Ben: (talking to Michael about death) When I was younger, I thought people died because life was unfair. Then you and your brother and sister were born, and I realised life really was unfair. And expensive.
The Awkward Phase[edit]
- Ben: Now, my dad... my dad loved to give advice. And I was going out with this girl and I remember he said... he said, "Ben, no matter how beautiful you think she is and no matter how much you're in love with her or perfect she is - if she eats a dodgy piece of fish, she'll end up chucking her guts up like the rest of us!"
- Janey: I wish I was dead!
- Susan: Janey! How can you say that? "I wish I *were* dead." The subjunctive. Boys are more impressed by good grammar than tight jeans, you know.
Much Ado about Ben[edit]
- Susan: [identifying who has called her, crying] Oh, Doreen. My yoga teacher, poor thing. While she was becoming one with the universe, her husband was becoming one with an accounts manager from Croydon.
Series 2 (2001)[edit]
All Roads Lead to Ramon[edit]
Ben and Susan discuss Janey's habit of going out with boy after boy for her own benefit
- Susan: She'll grow out of it.
- Ben: I should hope so.
- Susan: I did.
- Ben: I should bloody hope so.
Nick appears at the house with a tour group
- Nick: Here we have a typical English home, the family seat of the Harper dynasty. And here we have a typical English man. Hey, Dad! As you can see he's taken the day off to slob around in his dressing gown. There's the telly and there's his banana sandwich. Some of you may be interested to know that he's just had a big falling out with his daughter, after he called her a prostitute.
The Unkindest Cut[edit]
Susan announces that she may be pregnant
- Ben: Well, at least that proves there is a God...and He hates me!
Ben's patient is pregnant. She and the new assistant are very excited
- Patient: We're all ready for our little bundle of joy!
- Ben: Bundle of joy. You two haven't a clue what you're talking about, have you?
Parisian Beauty[edit]
- Susan Harper: For little girls get bigger every day...
- Ben Harper: Grow up then.
Trust Never Sleeps[edit]
Janey is holding a house party in her parents' absence. Ben has returned to check up on them
- Ben: (To Susan) Come on, don't fight it. This could be your only chance to find out what your kids get up to when you're not there. What's the harm in one little look? You know you want to...
Death and Ben Take a Holiday[edit]
Ben knocks on Nick's hotel room
- Nick: I was expecting someone else.
- Ben: So was I, but your mother swears you're ours.
Driving Miss Crazy[edit]
Ben is moaning about his neighbour, who recently lost his wife, and his new dog
- Ben: I mean, if I popped my clogs, would you replace me with a pet?
- Susan: No pet could replace you. Except perhaps a bad-tempered ferret.
No one thinks Ben is the right person to take Janey driving
- Ben: What a splendid family. I've got a daughter who thinks I'm a joke, a son who thinks I'm demented, a wife who doesn't support me and a...(looks at Nick) pillock.
- Nick: Look on the bright side, Dad. At least it took your mind off Mr Casey.
- Ben: Oh, yes. Mr Casey! Mr Casey! (exit)
- Susan: (looks at Nick) You pillock!
I Second That Emulsion[edit]
The Age of Romance[edit]
- Nick: Dad, have you seen the car keys lately?
- Ben: No.
- Nick: (holds up the keys and jingles them in his face) Well, take a good look. I won't be back till late!
- Ben: Don't even bother to try and make love to me tonight!
Ben switches light out and turns his back on Susan. She sits there patiently
- Ben: ...You're not gonna bother, are you?
Get Cartier[edit]
- Susan: Don't eat that! You'll ruin your dinner.
- Ben: I thought that was your job.
- Susan: No, my job is to ruin your life.
'Tis a Pity She's a Whore[edit]
Whose turn is it to visit Susan's mother?
- Michael: I went to see her last time she was dying.
- Nick: I'll go next time.
- Janey: And what happens if she really is dying?
- Nick: (grins) Then I win!
- Susan: The motto on your family crest should read: "Mediocrity or Death".
- Ben: Well, it's better than "For a Good Time, Call"!
The Last Supper[edit]
Susan's new boss, the rotund American Scott Taylor, has come round for dinner. Ben and Susan have to cater for his every need
- Ben: Coffee. To make you feel at home, Scott, yours has been stewed, reheated and served in a plastic cup.
- Scott: No coffee for me. I feel sick. Your wife has triggered my acid reflux.
- Ben: I know, I know. Isn't she marvellous?
Susan is in a confessional talking to a priest about her boss's death
- Reverend: You can't argue someone to death.
- Susan: Yes you can.
- Reverend: No you can't.
- Susan: Well, that's your opinion.
- Reverend: Yes it is.
- Susan: Well you're wrong.
- Reverend: (exhausted) In God's eyes, you're not guilty.
- Susan: Oh, what does He know?
Ben Wants to be a Millionaire[edit]
Nick has abandoned the plan to sell his organs online, in favour of a new one
- Nick: I get to set my own hours, get to work from home, and talk about job satisfaction!
- Susan: What exactly is this new job?
- Nick: Sperm donor.
Series 3 (2002)[edit]
Absent Vixen, Cheeky Monkey[edit]
- Nick: Dad, now Janey's going, can I have a pay rise?
- Nick: Who'd have thought it, eh? Our little girl flying the nest. Before you know it, Michael will be gone too. Then it will just be the three of us, the way it was meant to be.
Shrink Rap[edit]
Desperately Squeaking Susan[edit]
Michael reads to Ben a text message from Nick
- Michael: "Tesco's out of Brie, so gn to Paris."
- Ben: "Gn?"
- Michael: "Prices 2 high, so gn to Nice for chse."
- Ben: Mm-hmm.
- Michael: "Don't worry about money. I have Dad's bnk card." Any reply?
- Ben: Yep, yep.
Michael types as Ben dictates
- Ben: "Dr Nk, u r f'd."
Of Mice and Ben[edit]
Abi wants to feature Ben and Susan in her film project
- Ben: I am not having people witness my life. It's bad enough that I have to see it.
- Ben: (on camera) I know you might not want to use this in your little film, but I just want to put the record straight...she asked me to marry her.
On camera, Susan refers to the rat obliquely as a "little visitor"
- Ben: Who?
- Susan: You know. Our guest. The one who eats all our food and is always bothering us?
- Ben: Oh, Abi.
- Susan: No, the hairy one.
- Ben: Nick.
Imperfect Strangers[edit]
Susan and Ben are in a hotel bar, pretending to be strangers
- Susan: (under her breath) You're late.
- Ben: (under his breath) How do you know? You've not met me yet.
Susan has caught the attention of an older man
- Susan: You don't understand. I don't want to!
- Raymond: Ah, but your eyes say "Yes".
- Susan: Yours will be saying "Ow" in a minute.
The Second Greatest Story Ever Told[edit]
Artistic differences
- Susan: Your line sounds dated.
- Director: Well, it is set two thousand years ago!
- Susan: So is Jesus Christ Superstar, but it didn't stop Lloyd Webber from adding guitars!
- Director: For the fifth time, you're not going to sing!
Waiting to Inhale[edit]
Susan has found a joint in Michael's room
- Susan: I'm going to confront him with this and give him a piece of my mind!
- Ben: I think you've lost enough of it already...which means: let me talk to him.
- Susan: You?!
- Ben: Yeah. Let's at least let him grow some goolies before you lop 'em off.
- Michael: I'm going to be a Tory Prime Minister. I don't need any hippy baggage in my past.
- Ben: So what were you doing at that girl's house, then?
- Michael: I didn't go for illicit drugs; I went for illicit sex.
- Ben: You are a Tory!
Auto Erotica[edit]
A Handful of Dust[edit]
- Ben and Susan are discussing Janey's new friend, Kate, who is a lesbian
- Susan: There are many notable lesbians in history. Catherine the Great.
- Ben: Name says it all.
- Susan: k.d. lang.
- Ben: Wonderful voice. Sharon Simpson.
- Susan: Who's she?
- Ben: One of my patients. Lovely teeth.
- Nick: Oh, no! My worst nightmare: two lesbians sharing a bed in my house, and one of them's my sister!
- Janey: I'm not gay.
- Ben: Well that about takes the biscuit doesn't it? How dare you not be gay. Good God! You put us through anxiety, anger, confusion, doubt, anger...
- Susan: You said anger.
- Ben: I was angry twice. Until we finally reach tolerance and acceptance, and you tell us you're not gay. My own daughter! I feel betrayed!
The Lost Weekend[edit]
Nick wants to be a taxi driver
- Nick: I'm doing The Knowledge.
- Ben: You haven't even passed The Ignorance.
Michael and Abi have just finished dinner when Ben walks in
- Michael: There might be some burnt cheese stuck to the lid. You snooze, you lose.
- Ben: No, I win! (holds up bag) Yes, it's Chinese Takeaway time! Oh yes! Oh, look at this! Chicken with cashew nuts, spring rolls, capital spare ribs. My favourite. And it's followed closely by the ever-loved rice. It's alright, Michael; you can lick the lids.
- Michael: You mean to say you got takeaway and you didn't even consult your kids.
- Ben: (smiling broadly) Yeah.
- Abi: Don't you feel guilty?
- Ben: (still smiling) No.
- Nick: Is that Chinese takeaway?
- Ben: No, it's Chinese keep-away.
Nick arrives dressed as an exorcist, and sees Ben asleep on the sofa
- Nick: What putrefaction is this? Michael, holy water. (takes a spray bottle) Music. (plays Tubular Bells) Be thou not afraid! (sprays Ben)
- Ben: (to Abi) You, you're unhinged! (to Michael) You, you're demented! (to Nick) You, you're just... you!
Ben wants to know which cinema Nick drove Susan to
- Nick: Sorry, Dad. I can't betray a confidence. A cab driver's like a priest.
- Ben: Twenty quid?
- Nick: Bless you, my son!
One Flew out of the Cuckoo's Nest[edit]
- [Ben discovers his Barry White record is broken]
- Susan: I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation.
- Ben: Yes there is. Nick!
- Susan: How do you know?
- Ben: It's a fact of life that my property plus broken always equals, NICK!
Ding Dong Merrily[edit]
- (Ben's anti-Yuletide sentiments)
- Susan: Why are you always convinced that Christmas is going to be a disaster?
- Ben: Because it always is. It's traditional.
- Susan: No it isn't.
- Ben: There you go, always looking to the negative. You know I'm right; look at last year.
- Susan: We all had a lovely time.
- Ben: Oh yeah, you did. I got beaten up by carol singers...
- Susan: Ah, yes...lovely voices.
- Ben: The year before that there was the turkey.
- Susan: OK, so it needed to stay in for a bit longer.
- Ben: Susan, it was still alive. I'm trying to forget the year of the puppy.
- Susan: Oh, the puppy...yes, that was sad, wasn't it? But those aren't reasons to hate Christmas.
- Ben: Alright, try these: you have to jolly up to people you normally wouldn't bother to rescue from drowning; you get drunken men in suits vomiting in your flowerbeds; you're effectively trapped in the house with the central heating on full blast; and then someone throws a log on the fire because they think it's festive!
- Susan Harper: Don't be defeatist!
- Ben Harper: I'm not defeatist; I'm defeated.
- Ben: What's that?
- Susan: Chocolate Raisin Turkey with Caramel.
- Ben: Excuse me?
- Susan: It's Moroccan.
- Ben: (looks at her cookbook) Ah, I see. Several pages of your cookbook are stuck together. Yeah, you've moved from Poultry to Dessert.
- Susan: That's how great discoveries are made. Luddite.
Susan has given everyone revolting ties
- Ben: (cringing) It's the thought that counts.
- Michael: Shame it's such a horrible thought.
- Nick: Nice tie!
- Ben: Ignorance is bliss.
- Susan: Then you must be the happiest man in the world.
- Ben: (under his breath) I was until I married you.
- Susan: I heard that!
Michael attempts to follow Nick and Janey to the pub
- Ben: Hey, you're not allowed in pubs.
- Michael: I am if I have a plated meal in a clearly designated restaurant area.
Series 4 (2003)[edit]
Fitting Punishment[edit]
- Michael: I've got the training, I've got the equipment, all I need now is the collapse of western civilization.
They Shoot Harpers, Don't They?[edit]
Ben's regular dance partner is feeling neglected
- Mrs Gleaves: You're a user, just like my husband!
- Ben: You're a nutcase, just like my wife!
The Great Escape[edit]
- Susan: What happened?
- Ben: I'd just rather not talk about it right now.
- Susan: Okay. Good night.
- Ben: Susan, I very nearly had sexual intercourse with your mother.
- Susan: What?
- Ben: I didn't know she was there. I thought it was you.
- Susan: Oh... Ben, that's... that's... that's terrible! (begins laughing) And funny at the same time.
- Ben: It is not funny!
- Susan: Oh, come on, it's a little bit funny.
- Ben: Susan, I– we very nearly became a Greek tragedy!
- Susan: Look, look, I don't want her here any more than you do, but she's in great pain and can't move.
- Ben: Are you sure she's not faking it?
- Susan: I don't know, you tell me. (begins laughing again)
Return of the Prodigal Prat[edit]
- Nick: (pulling a container from the refrigerator) Is this lasagne or fish?
- Michael: What's it smell like?
- Nick: Fish.
- Michael: Then it's lasagne.
Owed to Susan[edit]
- Ben: Eh, poetry... I'm not that desperate, I can tell you!
- Abi: Then could you stop feeling up the grapefruit?
- (Ben flashbacks to Nick's birth. However, instead of a baby, he pictures a full grown Nick sticking out from between his mothers legs).
- Nick: Hello Dad! Could you lend me a fiver?
Blind Justice[edit]
- Abi: Your mother's gone blind because she's seen the unseeable: your messy room! (whispers) She didn't see the girl you had up there, though.
- Susan: Yes I did, but, you know, I'm cool with that.
Friday the 31st[edit]
- (Susan has run out of treats.)
- Susan: And for you, something really special!
- Girl 1: A Biro with half an inch of ink in it?
- Susan: People will kill for one of those in Morocco.
- Girl 1: We're not in Morocco!
- Susan: More's the pity!
Sitting Targets[edit]
- Ben: (of Kenzo) Susan, the baby will wake up when he's good and ready.
- Susan: That is so old-fashioned! Haven't you read any of the latest baby care books?
- Ben: Have you?
- Susan: I don't need to; I've raised three children... and you.
Loco Parentis[edit]
- Ben: Susan, admit it. All these years, you have been screwing up the kids. It's me, I've been the perfect parent.
The Canary Cage[edit]
- Susan: (speaking on telephone) Oh, hello. Yes, mi nombre es Senora Susan Harper. ¿cómo está usted?
- Ben: Susan, hello? You're phoning London.
- Susan: I know, but, you know, "when in Rome".
- Ben: We're not in Rome, we're in hell!
May the Best Man Win[edit]
- Abi: Hello Judith
- Ben: It's Judas!!!
It's a Window-Filled Life[edit]
- Ben: (subdued) I've just seen what my family's life would be like, had I never been born. They'd be no different. No difference at all. I've had no effect on anything.
- Clarence: Wow, that's depressing.
- Ben: No, it's not. (grins) It's wonderful! Don't you see? They're the crazy ones! I'm off the hook!
Sixty Feet Under[edit]
- Delays on the Tube
- Ben: Oh, for crying out loud...
- Susan: Ben, calm down. It's only been five minutes.
- Nick: (staring at a nervous, elderly couple) That's how it always starts. With five minutes. Then ten. Then half an hour. Then an hour. Then two hours... and then a month.
- Ben: Nick.
- Nick: Then two months.
- Ben: Nick!
- Nick: Then a year!
- Ben: Nick, please!
- Barry Hall: Could you please get your son to be quiet?
- Ben: No, but you have a go, by all means.
- Barry: He's making my wife nervous.
- Ben: You'll get used to it.
- Barry: That's right. Nothing to do with you. Wash your hands of it.
- Susan: Don't worry. He has.
- Susan: The glass is always half-empty with you, isn't it?
- Ben: Half-empty. Cracked. Chipped. Dirty. Smeared with toxic, germ-ridden, radioactive s-
- Susan: Anyway...
Series 5 (2004-5)[edit]
The Mummy Returns[edit]
You Don't Know Jack[edit]
What's Up, Docklands?[edit]
Luck be a Lady Tonight[edit]
First Past the Post[edit]
My Will Be Done[edit]
My Fair Charlady[edit]
The Mouth Trap[edit]
While You Weren't Sleeping[edit]
- Micheal had last night kissed his mother when she was asleep on the couch thinking she was his girlfriend...:
- Susan: We should have told you all not to worry about our relationship in the first place
- Micheal: Is that why you slept on the couch?
- Everyone stares at him judgingly:
- Micheal: I just.. know...
Dentist to the Stars[edit]
A Wife Less Ordinary[edit]
Susan concludes the recreation of her first date with Ben
- Susan: We just got married!
- Ben: I still don't want kids.
The Book of Love[edit]
Going Dental[edit]
Glad Tidings We Bring[edit]
The Erroneous Storm[edit]
...And I'll Cry If I Want To[edit]
- (Ben arrives home to find Susan auditioning numerous clowns for Kenzo's third birthday party)
- Ben Harper: Susan, I though we had a deal that you'd warn me when the inlaws were coming?
- Susan Harper: Oh, I'm glad your here. I'd like to introduce you to Cheerful Charlie Chortle, Uncle Morris, and The Amazing Beppo.
- Ben Harper: Well if they're here, who's running the country?
- Ben Harper: Good God! No wonder Charlie Chortle's chortling, look how much Charlie Chortles charging!
- Susan Harper: Actually we're not having Charlie Chortle. He's having gall bladder surgery.
- Ben Harper: Can't the kids watch that? It'll be cheaper and funnier.
Series 6 (2006)[edit]
Bliss for Idiots[edit]
- Ben: What is this masterpiece?
- Susan: "Shut Up and Be Happy"
- Ben: Too late; I'm married.
- Susan: How was it then? Your "society?"
- Ben: 2 words. Gay disco.
The Spokes Person[edit]
Dentally Unstable[edit]
Living the Dream[edit]
An Embarrassment of Susans[edit]
And Other Animals[edit]
The Art of Being Susan[edit]
The Heart of Christmas[edit]
Series 7 (2007)[edit]
The Ego has Landed[edit]
Four Affairs and a Funeral[edit]
Once More with Feeling[edit]
Dutch Art and Dutch Courage[edit]
Susan of Troy[edit]
One of the Boys[edit]
Abi Ever After[edit]
Breaking Up Ain't Hard to Do[edit]
Life Begins at Fifty[edit]
Ho Ho No[edit]
Ben: Are we positioning a tree, or sizing a cruise missile.
Series 8 (2008)[edit]
The Parent Trap[edit]
Let's Not be Heisty[edit]
Cards on the Table[edit]
The Wax Job[edit]
Neighbours War[edit]
Can't Get No Satisfaction[edit]
The Abi Habit[edit]
Have an Unhappy Christmas[edit]
Susan explains New Year's resolutions to her grandson
- Susan: They're like promises, where people try and give up their bad habits.
- Kenzo: Does Grandpa know about this?
Who will get Ben and Susan's free holiday to Mauritius?
- Janey: I think it should be me, because I'm not tragic like you two, and I already have a friend to take: Kenzo.
- Michael: That's the only way you can get friends; by giving birth to them?
Ben is not going to Buckingham Palace with Susan
- Susan: All I'm asking from you is one lousy day!
- Ben: I've given you lots of lousy days!
Series 9 (2009)[edit]
Bully for Ben[edit]
Bringing Up Janey[edit]
A Very Brief Encounter[edit]
- Alfie: When I was a boy, I had an imaginary friend. I was devastated when I found out I had made him up.
The Psyche of Mikey[edit]
A Difficult Undertaking[edit]
Dog Dazed[edit]
It's Training Men[edit]
The Guru[edit]
Kenzo's Project[edit]
2039: A Christmas Oddity[edit]
Series 10 (2010)[edit]
Wheelie Ben[edit]
The Son'll Come Out[edit]
Desperately Stalking Susan[edit]
The Melbourne Identity[edit]
He's Just Not That Into Ben[edit]
Ben Behaving Badly[edit]
Harper vs. Harper[edit]
Janey's Choice[edit]
Mary Christmas[edit]
Series 11 (2011)[edit]
Labour Pains [11.2][edit]
Accusin' Susan[edit]
Germs of Endearment [11.4][edit]
Relationship Happens [11.6][edit]
Booked [11.7][edit]
A Decent Proposal [11.8][edit]
Darts All, Folks [11.9][edit]
Susan for a Bruisin' [11.10][edit]
A Night Out [1.11][edit]
- Kenzo: (Quoting his granddad) Oh Shut up...You're running the ambience
Abi Harper - Siobhan Hayes
Roger Bailey - Keiron Self
Ben Harper - Robert Lindsay
Janey Harper - Daniela Denby-Ashe
Michael Harper - Gabriel Thomson
Nick Harper - Kris Marshall
Susan Harper - Zoë Wanamaker
Kenzo Harper - Tayler Marshall
External links[edit]
- Official site
- My Family quotes at the Internet Movie Database


text:
One For the Kids: Storyline Online
Story time has long been a completely analog process -- employing good old-fashioned print books, read together with a child. Well, like most things, there's now an option to enjoy kids' stories online: Storyline Online.
Read mostly by professional actors (and one by Al Gore), the stories are well-produced, showing the illustrations as well as an optional follow-along written track at the bottom of the screen (be aware -- on some stories this may go by too fast for some kids).
The site includes classics like "Me and My Cat" read by Elijah Wood, "Brave Irene" read by Al Gore, "The Polar Express" read by Lou Diamond Phillips, and lots more (click on "more stories" below the list of stories at left for more). The site is operated by the Screen Actors Guild Foundation, and is great fun...though you'll find yourself giving in to "just one more story" more than you would if you had to read the books yourself!
While we're on the topic, what do you read your kids at story time? Any particularly Flossy kids' books out there?
(Via Pop Candy.)

subset: commoncrawl


text:
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text:
Feb. 22, 2011— -- Fears concerning the possible dangers of prolonged cell phone use won't go away, despite numerous studies showing no conclusive link between cell phones and brain tumors or cancer.
Now new data from the National Institutes of Health suggesting that cell phone radiation boosts brain activity is poised to stir the debate even further.
Researchers used PET scans to measure brain activity in 47 participants when they had cell phones held to their ears in both off and on but muted positions and found that exposure to an in-use cell phone for more than 50 minutes increased brain activity by about 7 percent in the regions closes to the antenna.
This suggests that while no link has been proven between adverse health effects and cell phone radiation, the human brain is sensitive in some way to the electromagnetic waves coming off of a cell phone.
Whereas past studies have looked at cerebral blood flow to measure changes in brain activity, this study measured the brain's consumption of glucose -- the fuel of the brain -- in order to measure localized activity near the antenna.
"There have been several studies since the late 1990s trying to address whether the human brain is affected by the electromagnetic radiation from cell phones because it's very, very weak," said the lead author on the study, Dr. Nora Volkow of the National Institute on Drug Abuse. "The studies were very inconsistent, but we designed this study so it would be powered to detect small activity.
"This shows that the human brain is sensitive to these weak magnetic impulses."
But sensitivity does not equal harm or an increased risk of cancer, Volkow says, and it may even turn out that the ability of this radiation to boost brain activity could have therapeutic effects. Further study is needed, however, to explore the potential detrimental or beneficial effects of such an increase in activity.
Although the research on this topic has been mixed and inconclusive, Volkow says, their findings reopen the debate about cell phone concerns and make it impossible to ignore that prolonged use over many years might have some kind of unknown effect on the brain.
Justified Caution or Cancer Conspiracy?
This study, published today in the Journal of the American Medical Association, does not speak to the possible cancer risks supposedly associated with cell phone use, but its findings may stir up past debates concerning the health hazards of America's cell phone habit.
The cell phone-cancer debate began in the late '90s as increasing use of cell phones both for work and play stirred interest in the potential effects of the small amounts of radiation emitted from any phone in use.
"Our bodies are exposed to electromagnetic radiation all the time, and it is relatively harmless in the low doses we receive," Dr. Jennifer Smullen of the Department of Otology and Laryngology at Harvard Medical School said.
"But cell phone antennas are associated with strong electromagnetic fields and are placed close to our body."
The largest-ever study of cell phones, known as the Interphone study, released its long-term results in May of 2010 and found no increased risk for benign or cancerous brain tumors, except at its highest level of use, a level deemed "implausible" as a comparison to real-life by the investigators. Even this link was only seen with benign tumors, not with cancer.
So why does the fear of cell phones' frying our brains still persist? The inconsistency in the data fuels the concern, Volkow says.
"Some studies have shown a significant association with cancer, others show the opposite," she said. "When you have data that is not consistent there is uncertain and uncertainty of course generates fear."
Especially considering the integral, frequent, increasing role that cell phones play in both our work and home lives. The number of mobile phone users has gone from 7.6 million in 1991 to 223 million in those older than 13 as of 2010, according to Nielsen industry statistics.
What's more, more than half of Americans age 25 to 29 use only cell phones as a means of communication and do not live in a household that even has a landline.
It also doesn't quell fears when doctors publicly advocate for cell phone precautions. In 2008, CNN Chief Medical Correspondent Sanjay Gupta, along with Cedars-Sinai Medical Center brain surgeon Dr. Keith Black said that they use earpieces instead of holding the phone against their heads out of fear of brain tumors.
Better Safe Than Sorry Fuels Fears
Also in 2008, the director of Cancer Research at the University of Pittsburgh bolstered concerns about cell phone dangers when he released a controversial memo to his staff concerning modified cell phone practices to ward off potential harm:
"Although the evidence is still controversial, I am convinced that there are sufficient data to warrant issuing an advisory to share some precautionary advice on cell phone use," Dr. Ronald Herberman wrote in his memo.
He went on to warn that children shouldn't use cell phones except in emergency situations because "the developing organs of a fetus or child are the most likely to be sensitive to any possible effects of exposure to electromagnetic fields."
And many other doctors take this better safe than sorry approach. Dr. Andrew Sloan, director of the Brain Tumor and Neuro-Oncology Center at University Hospitals Case Medical Center in Cleveland, agrees that there's no "definitive proof" that cell phones are bad. But he still advises patients to use speaker phones or ear buds when talking for prolonged periods of time because, "why take the chance?"
With doctors advising patients to "play it safe," it's hard to shake the feeling that cell phones may be unsafe.
That researchers were able to show a consistent effect on the brain through prolonged cell-phone use is "landmark," said Dr. Maciej Lesniak, director of neurosurgical oncology andneuro-oncology research at the University of Chicago.
"Previous articles have tried to link cell phones to brain tumors based on large population studies, but those studies have many inherent flaws and too many variables to control," he said.
This experimental kind of research lays the groundwork for further research into exactly what's going on in the brain, whether harmful or not, when people use cell phones over long periods of time, he adds.
That said, there is little more than can be gleaned from this study beyond the fact that cell phones are doing something to the brain and increasing activity.
"Clearly there is an acute effect, and the important question is whether this acute effect is associated with events that may be damaging to the brain or predispose to the development of future problems such as cancer as suggested by recent epidemiological studies," Smullen said.
"Cell phones have become an essential part of our culture both for personal reasons and for work ... they are here to stay, but we need to evaluate whether cell phone design and usage needs to be adjusted to avoid or minimize potential risks," she adds.


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We're still working our way through RSPB Scotland's recently published twenty-year review (see here) and what a fascinating read it's proving to be. We've already blogged about two things that caught our eye (see here and here), and now here's the third.
On page 14 of the report, the following has been written:
"Lines 5, 6 and 7 of Table 4 describe the finding at one site, in an area intensively managed for driven grouse shooting, of a set crow trap, hidden within a small area of woodland, which was found to contain two feral pigeons indubitably being used as illegal lures to attract birds of prey. Under a tree, only a few metres away, were found the decomposed carcasses of four buzzards that had been shot, while a short distance from the crow trap a pigeon was found in a small circular cage, with four set spring traps set on the ground, hidden under moss, attached to the trap".
Here's a copy of Table 4, with lines 5, 6 and 7 highlighted:
Also included in the report is a photograph of the pigeon inside a small cage with the four set spring traps hidden under moss:
So, according to the RSPB report, these offences were uncovered in May 2014 on a driven grouse moor in the Borders, with the location given as "nr Heriot". Funny, we don't remember seeing anything in the press about these crimes.
Hmm. Could these wildlife crimes be in any way related to SNH's recent decision to serve a General Licence restriction order on parts of the Raeshaw Estate and Corsehope Estate (see here)? Both Raeshaw Estate and neighbouring Corsehope Estate can be described as being 'nr Heriot'; indeed, the recorded property address for Raeshaw Estate is given as 'Raeshaw House, Heriot, EH38 5YE' (although the owner is only listed as Raeshaw Holdings Ltd., registered in the Channel Islands, natch), according to Andy Wightman's excellent Who Owns Scotland website. And according to SNH, the General Licence restriction order on these two estates was served due to "issues about the illegal placement of traps" (see here). It's possible that they're connected, but it's also possible that these crimes are unconnected with SNH's General Licence restriction order on these two estates because Raeshaw isn't the only grouse moor that could be described as being 'nr Heriot'. Unfortunately, the (lack of) detail available in the public domain doesn't allow us to be conclusive. Perhaps there'll be some transparency once the legal arguments (see here) about the General Licence restrictions have concluded (which should happen fairly soon). Then again, perhaps there won't.
If these crimes were not uncovered on either the Raeshaw or Corsehope Estates, we hope there'll at least be a General Licence restriction order served on whichever grouse moor these traps were found because there's been a clear breach of the General Licence rules – pigeons are not permitted as decoy birds in crow cage traps; set spring traps are not permitted out in the open; oh, and shooting buzzards is also illegal. There should also be a prosecution of course, but that's highly improbable given the track record of non-prosecutions for raptor crimes uncovered in this part of the Borders.
There's been a long history of raptor persecution "nr Heriot", dating back to at least 2001. Here's a list we've compiled of confirmed raptor persecution crimes, all listed within RSPB annual reports:
2001 May: poisoned buzzard (Carbofuran) "Heriot Dale". No prosecution
2003 Feb: poisoned buzzard (Carbofuran) "Heriot". No prosecution
2003 Mar: poisoned buzzard (Carbofuran) "Heriot". No prosecution
2003 Apr: poisoned buzzard (Carbofuran) "Heriot". No prosecution
2003 Nov: poisoned buzzard (Carbofuran) "Heriot". No prosecution
2004 Feb: Carbofuran (possession for use) "Heriot". No prosecution
2004 Feb: two poisoned buzzards (Carbofuran) "Heriot". No prosecution
2004 Oct: poisoned buzzard (Carbofuran) "Heriot". No prosecution
2005 Dec: poisoned buzzard & raven (Carbofuran) "Heriot". No prosecution
2006 Sep: poisoned buzzard (Carbofuran) "Heriot". No prosecution
2006 Oct: poisoned buzzard (Carbofuran) "Heriot". No prosecution
2009 Mar: two poisoned buzzards (Carbofuran) "nr Heriot". No prosecution
2009 Jun: poisoned red kite (Carbofuran) "nr Heriot". No prosecution
2009 Jun: 4 x poisoned baits (2 x rabbits; 2 x pigeons) (Carbofuran) "nr Heriot". No prosecution
2010 Nov: poisoned buzzard (Carbofuran) "nr Heriot". No prosecution
2011 Jan: poisoned buzzard (Carbofuran) "nr Heriot" No prosecution
2013 Jun: shot + poisoned buzzard (Carbofuran) "nr Heriot". No prosecution
2014 May: crow trap baited with two live pigeon decoys "nr Heriot". Prosecution?
2014 May: four set spring traps beside live pigeon decoy "nr Heriot". Prosecution?
2014 May: four shot buzzards "nr Heriot" Prosecution?
Not included in an RSPB annual report (because it happened this year): 2015 Jul: shot buzzard "found by side of road between Heriot and Innerleithen" according to media reports (see here). Prosecution?
Interestingly, also not included in the RSPB's annual reports but reported by the Southern Reporter (here) and the Guardian (here), a police raid on Raeshaw Estate in 2004 uncovered nine dead birds of prey, including five barn owls, two buzzards, a kestrel and a tawny owl, described as being "poisoned or shot". In addition, "a number of illegal poisons were discovered but no-one was ever prosecuted". According to both these articles, during a further police raid on Raeshaw in 2009 'three injured hunting dogs were seized by the SSPCA on suspicion of involvement with badger baiting'. We don't know whether that resulted in a prosecution.
Also not included in the above list is the sudden 'disappearance' of a young satellite-tagged hen harrier in October 2011. This bird had fledged from Langholm and it's last known signal came from Raeshaw Estate. A search failed to find the body or the tag.
Fascinating stuff.


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Apple has struck deals with three of the top four music labels that will let consumers access their digital music collections from mobile devices like the company's iPhone, several reports said this week.
The agreements also hint at the possibility that Apple will roll out a digital music subscription service that would create a "jukebox in the sky," a move that could push music revenues to levels last seen more than a decade ago.
According to anonymous sources cited by CNET News Wednesday and by Bloomberg on Thursday, Apple has wrapped up negotiations with EMI Music, Sony Music Entertainment and Warner Music Group.
The remaining holdout: Universal Music Group, the largest of the four.
Bloomberg reported that Apple is close to wrapping up a deal with Universal.
"This sounds like a public relations balloon," said Aram Sinnreich, a media professor at Rutgers University. "Apple's leaking news of these deals to put pressure on Universal to get the same deal that the other labels have agreed to."
If the reports are accurate, Apple could soon launch a label-authorized cloud service to compete with the similar, but unlicensed, services -- dubbed "lockers" -- already in play from Amazon and Google.
With a cloud service in place -- likely part of Apple's MobileMe, which analysts believe will be revamped this summer -- customers will be able to play tracks from their iTunes collection over the Internet, giving them anywhere-access to their music from iPhones, iPads, iPod Touches and Macs while away from home.
Analysts applauded the news, but expected Apple to do more with the licenses than just duplicate Amazon's and Google's in-the-cloud music lockers.
"If the labels are ready to play ball and embrace a fundamentally new model, licenses can make a huge difference," said Sinnreich.
Sinnreich believes that licenses aren't required for a locker service -- he noted that although the labels were displeased with Amazon's March launch of Cloud Drive, they haven't sued either Amazon or Google -- and suspected that Apple's negotiations were for more than simply online storage.
That "more" could be the long-awaited subscription service, which would let customers play not only the tracks they already own, but millions of others by paying a flat monthly fee.
Sinnreich sees an Apple-driven subscription service as the Holy Grail of digital music, and in his eyes, one the labels should accept.
"The labels need a genuine celestial jukebox, one that not only offers streaming music, but recommendations, on-demand radio, community and social networking features, video and downloads," said Sinnreich.
And Apple is the best partner to do that.
"If Apple is the one who can offer an unlimited subscription music service, they'll become the leader," said Ezra Gottheil, an analyst with Technology Business Research. "Apple shows all the signs of understanding the music listener better than anyone else among the competition."
Sinnreich agreed.
"Apple's strategy for the last seven years has been, 'Let's make the ocean smaller [by going to downloads] and we'll be the biggest fish in that ocean,'" said Sinnreich. "But by going to a subscription service, the ocean gets much, much bigger again."
That's key, said Sinnreich. The only way labels can recover revenues that they've lost in the last 12 years to single-track purchases via iTunes is to turn toward a subscription model.
"The download business was never a good business for the labels," Sinnreich argued. "It was the number one reason for the decline in sales. The labels got bamboozled by Apple with iTunes; they should have gone straight from [CD] album sales to subscription."
An Apple-backed subscription service has the potential to bring in enormous revenues -- billions, Sinnreich said -- that could rival the $14 billion the music industry made at its peak in 1999.
"Within five years, cloud music could be worth more than that," Sinnreich said. "But it has to be done well. It has to be so drop-dead simple that it's not worth [consumers'] effort to download for free or for $.99 or $1.29."
Calling the potential "massive," Sinnreich declined to say an Apple subscription service was inevitable. "But it's as close to inevitable as you can get."
He speculated that the price for such a service could be as low as $5 per month, half the $10 monthly fee Rhapsody charges for its lowest-priced all-you-can-stream service.
"That's too high, which is why Rhapsody has had trouble getting millions of subscribers," said Sinnreich. "At $5 for a plain vanilla service, and assuming half of Americans [subscribed], which is really the number of music buyers and listeners, [an Apple service] would generate 60% of that $14 billion."
Both Sinnreich and Gottheil said it was possible that, with licenses in hand, Apple could launch a music locker or subscription service as early as next month, when the company holds its annual developers confab.
Apple's Worldwide Developers Conference (WWDC), which starts June 6, has been a platform in the past for major new product announcements. And with the next iPhone -- called iPhone 5 by some, iPhone 4S by others -- apparently slated for a September debut, a music-related announcement would fill the gap.
Gregg Keizer covers Microsoft, security issues, Apple, Web browsers and general technology breaking news for Computerworld. Follow Gregg on Twitter at @gkeizer, or subscribe to Gregg's RSS feed . His e-mail address is email@example.com.


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Brian has been doing DevOps for years. Since returning to the consulting world he discovered that a log of people weren't really doing it. So in an effort to help people get started on their path to DevOps Mastery he created a new Blog and Podcast. One of the first posts trys to explain it for you and why you need it. Check it out here. Thanks for your support.
P.S. Don't worry we aren't stopping our podcast. We have just reformated it and are working on adding ourselves to a new podcast network, The New Tech Podcast Network. Check it out here.
P.S.S. I will have the shows we have done in our new format up there very very soon.


text: Dear Colleague, We are spreading this message in order to ask colleagues abroad to help the actions of Flemish researchers against drastically reduced funding. The funding for basic research in Belgium, and especially in its northern region of Flanders, has been getting worse and worse during the last years, and has become especially dramatic lately. Since the group of researchers in Flanders is small and not very well organized as yet, and since it has no political power, we have decided to appeal to friends and colleague researchers abroad to help us in our protest against these measures, by sending us letters of support. In Belgium the main institution that provides employment and grants for researchers is the "National Fund for Scientific Research" (NFWO/FNRS). There is a wide consensus within the Belgian academic world about the outstanding quality of this institution, as well with respect to its administrative functioning, as to the high scientific level of its researchers. Hence, the recent measures to cut funding for the NFWO cannot be justified by any criticism of the institution. As you may know, Belgium is gradually evolving towards a federal structure with two main independent regions of about 5 million inhabitants each: the French-speaking Wallonia, and the Flemish-speaking Flanders. This process has recently led to a split-up of the National Fund into a French and a Flemish part. Presently the French part is being strenghtened, financially and structurally. This was to be expected since Belgium as a whole was spending much less money on basic research than comparable countries. According to the OECD, less than 0.5 % of GNP is spent by government for research in Belgium, compared to around 1 % in the neighbouring France, Holland, Germany and UK (and even more in Japan and the USA). Therefore the effort of Wallonia to increase funding can be seen as an attempt to adapt itself to the European level. It came as a complete surprise and shock then, when the Flemish government decided to cut funding for the Flemish part of the NFWO, and that to such an extent that its internal function must collapse. In the short term, the measure implies the complete disappearance of long-term research contracts, the diminishing of short term contracts, and a radical reduction of about 80 % in the funding for general working costs and equipment of major research centers. In the long term the only effect can be the factual disappearance of basic research in Flanders. Practically this means that young researchers, however bright they are, will be unable to continue their career in academic research. The situation in the universities is not much better, and there are no ways of escape there either. In the recent past (10 to 20 years ago) relatively many people have received a permanent research contract because of university expansion. This means that they will stay there until their retirement. In these times of budget cuts, however, there is practically no money left to create new positions, and hence the younger generation simply does not have any outlook for continuing research, unless they emigrate. And this in spite of the fact that the average level of research in Belgium is quite high, as testified by famous research centers such as the one created by the Belgian Nobel-prize winner Ilya Prigogine. Though the Belgian and Flemish governments do have important budget deficits, that is not a sufficient argument to cut spending on research. First, as outlined above, the funding in Belgium is already much below what could be expected from a highly developed country. Second, what politicians do not understand is that the development of knowledge is the single most important factor determining economical and societal development, and as we are moving towards a post-industrial information society that factor is gaining in importance with every day that passes. Cutting funding on R&D can only keep down future economic growth and, hence, income for the state. Third, in spite of the budget deficit, Belgium (and especially Flanders) is still one of the richest regions in the world, with an economy that has been doing quite well recently and a per capita income higher than those of France or the UK, and only slightly below that of Germany. The reasons for saving money in research rather than in other domains are to be found in short-sightedness, lack of understanding of what research really means, and the lack of political power of researchers as a group. When train engineers, factory workers, or nurses are unhappy, they go on strike, and everybody is immediately alarmed. If researchers would go one strike, nobody would notice, unless many years later. But then it would be too late to repair the damage. So we are looking for other ways to attract the attention of the public and the politicians to our grievances. For example, on February 6, for the first time in Belgian (and perhaps World?) history there has been a public demonstration of some 5000 researchers in Brussels, protesting against the reduced funding. We have further been organizing several panel discussions with famous scientists (such as Prigogine) and politicians. Until now the actions have had success insofar that the new Flemish government has taken a more positive attitude and has promised to study the problem. But no concrete measures have been taken as yet concerning the reduced funding. So we need to keep putting pressure on them. That is the reason we are making an appeal to international solidarity. We ask all our colleague researchers to write a letter in which they express their solidarity with our movement, stressing the importance of an adequate funding for basic research, and protesting against the cutting down of the NFWO. If you have had personal contacts with researchers employed by the NFWO, we would ask you to emphasize the quality of their work, which was made possible by the NFWO.


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Move over chicken salad, you've got some competition. Although it's not your typical sandwich, this light and citrusy shrimp lettuce wrap is totally picnic-friendly.
For a quick fix, cook and prep the shrimp mixture ahead of time and refrigerate so you're ready to rock, roll and wrap your way to a healthy summer lunch in minutes.
Shrimp and Cucumber Lettuce Wraps with Fresh Dill
Makes 6-8 lettuce cups
8 ounces of large uncooked shrimp (peeled, tails on), thawed
1/4 cup chicken, seafood, or vegetable broth
4 cloves garlic, minced
2 tablespoons white wine vinegar
1 English cucumber, diced, or 2 regular cucumbers peeled and diced (about 2 to 2 1/2 cups)
2 tablespoons chopped fresh dill
Juice from 1 small lemon (about 2 tablespoons)
Salt and pepper to taste
6-8 pieces of green/red leaf or butter lettuce
Crumbled feta cheese (optional)
Place broth in a skillet and heat to medium-high heat. Add garlic. Cook for approx 60 seconds then add shrimp. Cook until shrimp are pink and opaque, about 3-5 minutes. Remove shrimp from pan and set aside to cool. Add vinegar to skillet, and let the sauce reduce to about a third.
When shrimp are cool enough to handle, remove all the tails and chop coarsely. Combine chopped shrimp in a medium bowl with reduced pan juices/garlic, diced cucumber, dill, lemon juice and a few pinches of salt and pepper. Spoon filling into lettuce leaves, sprinkle with a little cheese if desired, roll and serve.
Recipe by Brooke McLay


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Authors, Writers, Publishers, and Book Readers
101 members24 Comments 13 Likes
Started this discussion. Last reply by Kay Elizabeth Jul 5, 2012. 1 Reply 0 Likes
Hello All, I'm still trying to find my way around this site but I thought I had best start by saying hello!If you'd like to know a bit about me please visit my webpage but ignore the photo as it's…Continue
Dawn Danby has not received any gifts yet
Dawn, top of the universe to you, and welcome to authors.com …from The Chuck-master of Science Fiction Fantasy…
I write sci-fi novels filled with adventure, mystery, romance, drama, horror, and plenty of comedy… Sci-fi for every adult human to enjoy. I'm also a well-known published poet. When you have a few free moments, please check out my Authors page and a few of my videos and blogs I have recently added. Many of my blogs consist of free to read enjoyable sci-fi stories that I edited and united these twenty-two stories within an eBook titled: 'Epic Marvels'. One of my recent sci-fi novels is titled: 'They!', which is somewhat related to the 1954 sci-fi classic movie, 'Them!' I've just completed my next sci-fi mystery, titled: 'The Mysteries of Fuller Park'. A fun story based on the eerie satanic urban legends of Fuller Park, Athens, Texas. My next novel title is: 'It's Not A Lovable Pet Story!' LOL! It sure isn't another lovable pet story. Sci-fi horror to delight my reading fans.
Please let me know if you'd like to become friends.
The Chuck!
Hi Dawn,
I am a copy editor and proofreader for EditPress, a boutique copy editing service company based in Los Angeles. I used to do freelance work exclusively, but I'm preparing to start a copy editing and proofreading site solely for new self-publishing authors.
EditPress will officially launch on June 25th, 2012; however, as a promotional effort, I'd love to have the chance to do some copy editing work for you, completely free. If you like my work and have some paid projects for me down the road, that'd be great of course, but I'd be happy just for the opportunity to network and share my services to you.
Simply, send me the first chapter of a story you're working on, and within 48 hours I will return to you a copy edited and proofread version of your work, accompanied with one page of editorial tips and suggestions-- for FREE. It's a one-time trial and you'll receive free editorial feedback on the work you've done so you can proceed writing with more confidence and less uncertainty. Most importantly, you'll be one step closer to getting published!
What do you think?
Thanks for taking the time to read my message. Have a good day!
- Stephanie
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British Line Infantry Weapons
Hierarchical Path: Seven Years War (Main Page) >> Armies >> British Army >> British Line Infantry Weapons
Long Land Pattern Brown Bess musket
This weapon was introduced into British Army service in 1718, being first made by William Wilson. The weapon was the eventual result of a contract signed in 1714, for the purpose of standardizing arms and equipment. This was to remedy the confusion caused by the presence of multiple musket models in the British army at the close of the War of Spanish Succession. The fittings were original of iron, but brass was used beginning in 1725.
The weapon was produced in two major centers: the iron fittings and the barrels were mostly produced in Birmingham, while the brass and wooden furniture were produced in London. The parts were then assembled and inspected for quality, with a stamp of approval and year of production engraved on the lockplate and stock. The earlier lock plates were much more curved than the later models. By 1750 the wooden ramrod was replaced by one of iron.
Besides its original version, the weapon was made in three major models; that of 1730, 1742, and 1756. Each new version of the long land pattern incorporated various improvements to the design of the musket, with the aim of simplifying production, and increasing effectiveness.
At some point before 1760, the short pattern land service musket was introduced (initially for dragoons, militia and the marines) the barrel was only 42 inches (1066 mm) long. In June 1768 this weapon was officially termed the 'Short Land Service Musket (New Pattern)'. The old, longer weapon continued in service throughout the War of American Independence.
General features
All Long Land Pattern muskets possessed a tapering, 46-inch barrel, secured in place by four barrel pins, which held the musket barrel in place by passing through hoops soldered onto the barrel. The barrel was also fastened at the breach via a screw, mounted on the tang of the breech plug. the lock was held in place by two additional screws, and one more screw for the trigger-guard plate. The sling was mounted on the musket via two smaller screws: one just in front of the second ramrod pipette, the other just in front of the trigger guard. All other decorations were fastened by an elaborate series of pins, which hold the components in place via loops soldered onto the components. The stocks were ideally made of walnut.
Maintenance was very time-consuming, and difficult, the pins are easy to bend (which makes it difficult to re-insert them) and the lack of proper equipment to re-insert (or at least, straighten) the pins would cause them to damage the stock. However, it appears regular soldiers were not entrusted with stripping the weapon down completely: only the removal of the lock (via two screws). Anything more involved was left to the artificers. Cleaning would have been done with hot water, soap, rags, and the rammer. Weapons were generally polished mirror-smooth.
All Long Land Pattern muskets possessed a block-shaped front sight, which also served double-duty as a bayonet lug; the weapon did not come with a rear sight, but it is common to see muskets modified by the carving of a crude notch at the breech plug, which served to line that with the sight, and so acting as a crude rear sight. To aim the weapon, one simply need line up the rear of the barrel with the sight (a notch would aid this). As the musket barrel is tapered (as a measure to mitigate fowling at the muzzle), the musket will naturally shoot slightly high (5" at ~30 yards; this has implications for period treatises' statements on the point-blank range.
The earliest Brown Besses (i.e. produced before c. 1750) had wooden rammers, capped with a brass nose. These were thicker than later metal rammers; as a result, muskets with metal rammers had smaller pipettes than those with wooden rammers.
The musket sling was universal by the time of the Seven Years War, and was generally made of buff or natural leather. The exact means it was secured on the musket, and its width, varied according to the taste of the colonel in charge of a given regiment. This was because the sling was not issued by the government itself. Generally, however, the sling was 1-1.5" across, and fastened by a leather thong at the rear sling swivel, and by a brass buckle at the front swing swivel.
The hammer was protected from the elements by way of a hammerstall, which was a tongue-shaped strip of leather, with the cover on one side, and a means of securing the hammerstall to the trigger guard or rear sling swivel on the other (this can be seen in David Morier's paintings). As with the sling, the hammerstall was made of natural or buff leather.
Official ball size was 0.69 caliber (~17.5mm), or 14 shots to the pound. In practice, balls ranged from 16.8-17.5mm.
Cartridges were twisted off at the ends, and tied with linen or hemp cords (a method inferior to the French method). The paper was quite thin, and classified as a rag paper.
No official powder charge is known for the musket prior to 1775 but seems never to have exceeded 220 grains (14 grams); by 1775, this had been regulated to 165 grains (11 grams), though in practice the cartridges from this time forward were as little as 125 grains, to account for better-quality powder. The powder quality prior to 1792 (or ~1775) was often unpredictable. The barrels were supposed to be proofed with ~642 grains of powder, or approximately four times the powder used in an official cartridge.
All Long Land Pattern muskets had a bayonet with a total length of ~53.3 cm (21 inches), with the blade ~47.5 cm (18 inches) in length. The bayonet was triangular in cross-section, with two fullers running the last 16" of either side of the rib, which was on the outer side of the bayonet. The base of the blade had a somewhat semi-elliptical cross-section. The bayonet was mounted via a socket, meant to turn counter-clockwise in order to secure it in place; this was so that the blade is on the lock side of the musket, and away from the user when loading the weapon. the side of the socket that goes in first is thickened, to strengthen that area. The bayonet weight a little over 0.45 kg (~1 pound).
Ballistic Performance of the Brown Bess
|Note: The data is for the M1730 musket, converted to use a metal rammer. However, the data from this test should be applicable to all Long Land Pattern Muskets. Shots in the test were fired as quickly as possible, using military methods from the time. Of course our tests have not been conducted in battle conditions, And therefore, accuracy and firing rate were optimal; the battlefield performance was likely half as effective or thereabouts (as per Duffy's Military Experience in the Age of Reason).
Muzzle velocity:
Based on empirical tests conducted from 2018 onward, the following muzzle velocities have been measured:
- 940 feet per second (287 meter per second) with a powder charge of 120 grains (Goex FFg powder)
- 1,100 feet per second (335 meter per second) with a powder charge of 165 grains Goex FFg powder, or 125 grains 1.5F Swiss powder.
- 1,330 feet per second (405 meters per second) with 165 grains of Swiss 1.5F powder
With better powder quality, a velocity between 400 and 450 meter per second is theoretically possible; however, it appears that the British Army tended to reduce the charge to as low as 125 grains, when such powder was available. This is likely due to the much more savage recoil beyond 335 m/s, which could potentially discomfort or injure the soldiers.
However, the above tests by themselves cannot tell us the muzzle velocity of the weapons, as they operated in the 18th century. For this to be discovered, we must turn to period accounts, to glean clues into the expected muzzle velocity. In this case, a treatise by Lewis Lochee, entitled "Elements of Field Fortification", provides just such clues. This was a work published in 1783, nine years before the reforms were implemented, which improved on gunpowder quality. Thus while this postdates the Seven Years' War, the technical data contained within this treatise should still be reasonably applicable.
In this treatise, Lochee specifically states that the ideal point-blank range of a musket is 300 yards; however, he also noted that in practice, the actual point-blank range is between 200 and 240 yards. In stating these ranges, it appears Lochee was using earlier sources, and referencing bastion designs, which often did not allow more than 240 yards distance between separate sections. These values may at first appear to be impossible; certainly they might come as a surprise to most black-powder shooters. However, if we take these ranges at face value, and assume the soldier was either firing on level ground in the standing position using the correct aiming technique (discussed earlier), these point-blank ranges are indeed possible:
To reach 300 yards (273 meters) from an 18-foot (5.5 meters) parapet design given by Lochee at sea level, a muzzle velocity of ~420 m/s is required. To reach the maximum practical range of 240 yards, a muzzle velocity of ~305 m/s is required. The discrepancy between the ideal range, and the practical range, was attributed by Lochee to improper handling of the musket. This is likely true, as in the heat of battle a soldier may use too much powder to prime. Even if he did not, this was no guarantee that he would not then accidentally spill powder as he attempted to load the weapon. Finally, even if the soldier primed and loaded properly, this was no guarantee that the soldier would properly level his musket: a soldier might simply shoot short, and thereby fail to reach the 300 yards.
Another possible clue to muzzle velocity comes from a report by Captain Alfred Mordecai in 1843. His data on British powder from 1838 suggests that powder at this time will produce a muzzle velocity of ~420 m/s, when using 125 grains of powder. This was roughly equivalent to the powder used in the Napoleonic wars, which was reckoned to be twice as powerful as powder in 1775 (Spearman, 1838). Working back from this, once again suggests a muzzle velocity of ~400 m/s.
Overall, the evidence suggests that the ideal muzzle velocity was in the region of 400 m/s, though in practice the range could have varied between 3-400 m/s.
Accuracy and rate of fire:
the Brown Bess was about average for the period; French muskets were a little more accurate, Prussian ones a little less so, though overall there was relatively little difference. With proper time to aim, the probability of striking the target is almost 100% at 40 yards (37 meters); the group size was approximately 4 inches at this distance. It could reliably strike a man's torso at 50 yards (46 meters), and a man's figure at 75 yards (69 meters). It is still possible to hit target at 100 yards (91 meters) with a hit ratio of at least 25% (as per tests conducted in 2018). At around 150 yards, it is useless to aim at anything more precise than a general formation of men; and, as a British officer stated around 1814, at 200 yards (182 meters) "you may as well fire at the moon and have the same hope of hitting your object."
On average, approximately one in six shots will misfire, using military loads and equipment. The most common cause is a "flash in the pan". English flints were of very unpredictable quality.
Rate of fire was ideally between two and three shots per minute, though generally closer to the former. Any number significantly greater can be dismissed as fiction, unless via the dangerous procedure of tap-loading. This rate of fire will rapidly decrease, as the increase in barrel temperature, coupled with fouling and exhaustion of the user. If the musket had the older wooden rammers (as many in the British Army still did), then the rate of fire will decline even more rapidly, and will rarely exceed 2 rounds a minute; this is due to the less durable nature of the rammer, which could become brittle and snap with age and use. Even if the rammer were new, such rammers could still break if used too violently.
Models of the Long Land Pattern
Initial version (1715-1720)
The initial version of the musket was produced following the specifications arrived at by the department of the Ordinance. Its wooden furniture was made of walnut, and fittings made of iron, later brass. The regiment's name was engraved on the lockplate, usually the name of the colonel being used, as well as the maker of the weapon. The lockplate itself was banana shaped. The initials of the maker were also engraved on the breech of the barrel. The ramrod, made of wood, was held in place by 4 iron, later brass, fittings. The butt placed was waived. The trigger guard showed Dutch influence, with lobed finials at the ends of the trigger guard.
Long Land pattern M1730
Even though the long land pattern was supposed to have been produced in large quantities beginning in 1718, production really began in 1722, and no modifications or improvements introduced till 1728. These modification were standardized in 1730, creating the long land pattern M1730 musket. The musket was characterized by the predominance of heavy brass fittings, raised brass stock fittings, and raised brass side plates. The older waived butt plate was replaced by a stepped version, 6" in length. The ramrod was still made of wood.
Long Land pattern M1742
When the War of Austrian Succession broke out, the army found itself short on ordinance. As a result, a new model was introduced in 1742. This model differed from the 1730 model in having a reduced raised stock carving, the addition of a bridle to a shallower flashpan, and a split read trigger guard strut. Some versions of this model and the 1730 version were also equipped with a brass nosecap to the front of the wooden furniture, but most came without. The front end of the trigger guard became a hazelnut shape, rather than the older Dutch shape.
Initial versions of this weapon had wooden ramrods, but starting in the late 1740's-1750, iron ramrods were gradually introduced. This musket was in fact the main model used in the Seven Years' War, with the 1730 model being sent over to America to arm the Provincial soldiers who didn't receive this new model.
|Overall length
|1590 mm (62.5 inches)
|Length of barrel
|1170 mm (46 inches)
|barrel thickness
|~1,5 mm at crown, ~8,75 mm at the breech
|officially 19,7 mm (0,775 inches); actual bore ranges from 0,75-0,775"
|Bore diameters at breech
|~19,7 mm (0,775 inches); outer diameter of barrel 35mm (1,46 inches)
|Ball size
|16,8-17,5 mm (0,66-0,69 inches); officially 0,69 inches
|Length of the flintlock plate
|177 mm (7 inches)
|4500 grams (without the bayonet)
|Trigger Pressure
|~5,5 kg (~12 pounds)
|aaa – barrel
bbb – stock
Long land pattern M1756
When the Seven Years War itself broke out in 1756, a new model was introduced. This model, the M1756, was the final weapon in the long land pattern series. It differed from the previous model in that it was exclusively issued with an iron ramrod, the addition of 4 inches to the length of the front pipe holding the ramrod, and modification to the brass furniture and locks. These included the replacement of the banana shape with a straight shaped lockplate, the engraving of the Royal Cypher on the plate, the addition of the crown or royal arrow mark under the flashpan, and further wooden carving.
The model also saw the establishment of fully developed beaver carvings on the stock, and a thinned version of the shape of trigger guard plate used in the 1742 model.
Even though this musket was produced in quantity during the war, the musket almost never saw service: the army commander had already agreed to continue using the M1742, until the stock wore out, in which case they could be replaced with the M1756.
All models of the musket were stamped or etched with the letters BO (board of ordnance) beneath the flashpan, and before 1764, the maker of the musket was engraved to the rear of the same plate. Makers included Gage, Grice, Edge, Galton, Jordan, Vernon, Dublin Castle, etc.
The lock bears the stamps crowned GR, an arrow and 'BO' (BOARD OF ORDNANCE) and the maker's name 'GRICE' and the date 1756. Other makers at this time were Edge, Galton, Jordan, Vernon and Dublin Castle. From 1764 it became the rule to engrave the lock plate with 'TOWER'.
Dutch infantry musket
While Britain produced weapons on its own, arms supply was not always consistent, particularly in the colonies. As a result, the authorities would often supplement local supply with purchases of surplus or outdated muskets from other countries. One important supplier was the Netherlands.
The Netherlands in turn, while it produced arms locally (notably in Amsterdam and Maastricht), mostly supplied itself with weapons produced outside the country. Notable sources of firearms included Liège, Solingen, Suhl and Zella. Liège in particular was the largest producer of weapons for the Netherlands and, by 1788, counted 60-80 arms workshops. The Dutch on their part used the produced weapons not only to supply the army, but also for trade in the colonies, the Native Americans, and other nation's armies, supplying all the above since the 17th century.
As a result of the widespread trade in firearms, the caliber and size of the weapons varied, from .75 to .80 calibers, as did the size of the weapons. However, general tendencies existed:
- the barrels were consistently rounded, while the ramrod pipe was faceted;
- the furniture was brass with a heavy buttstock;
- a distinctive lock plate, decorated with teardrops and arrowheads, and similar decorations existed in the trigger guard (similar decorations could be found in early models of the Brown Bess)
- the lock in muskets prior to c. 1720 was rounded and raised, as opposed to the flat/faceted ones introduced afterwards, and in use till the 1770's.
Muskets supplied from Dutch sources were often purchased prior to the war and were often outdated models. For example, the board of ordinance still possessed in its armory muskets shipped in from the Netherlands in 1715 to Britain, and the colonies continued to import arms directly until at least 1738. Britain also made a large purchase of muskets (18,000) in 1741, and as in the case of the 1715 shipment, that was still in storage with the board of ordinance in 1756.
Many of these weapons in turn were exported to the colonies and were used by provincial soldiers (for example, 4,500 of the muskets purchased in 1741 were sent to the British colonies of North America). As a result, remains of the musket have been found on the battlefield of the Monongahela, and a bayonet (likely from a North Carolina provincial), was found in Fort Ligonier. Old models as well as newer ones were in the shipments.
Dutch infantry musket M1700-1720
A Dutch musket of the 1700-1720 model in the collection at West Point has Dutch/English style iron components, a rampant lion proof mark on breech, its original "Dutch" stock and the mark "SO.CAROLINA" on its barrel. It is most probable that it was part of a purchase made in 1715 and kept in stores until 1754-55 when the Board of Ordinance supplied Dutch muskets to the Southern Colonies.
Dutch infantry musket M1740
N.B.: dimensions slightly varied from musket to musket, the following dimensions should serve as an example.
|Overall length
|1556 mm (61.25 inches)
|Length of barrel
|1165 mm (45.875 inches)
|20 mm (0,78 inches)
|Length of the flintlock plate
|162 mm (6.375 inches)
|Length of the trigger guard
|302 mm (11.875 inches)
|Length of the butt tang
|140 mm (5.5 inches)
|3992 grams (8.8 lbs)
Goldstein, Erik; The Socket Bayonet in the British Army 1687-1783, p. 89, 92
Lochee, Lewis: Elements of Field Fortifications, 1783
Mardsen, Joseph R.; The Bayonets of Fort Ligioner, Pennsylvannia,1758-1766, p.7
Miller, David P.: Ballistics of 17th Century Muskets, Cranfield University, May 2010
Neumann, George C.' Dutch Arms in the American Revolution in American Rifleman
Neumann, George C.; The redcoat's brown bess, April 2001, American rifleman magazine, 2008
Scott, Douglas D.; Joel Bohy; Nathan Boor; Charles Haecker; William Rose; and Patrick Severts: Colonial Era Firearm Bullet Performance: A Live Fire Experimental Study for Archaeological Interpretation, April 2017
Digby Smith and Ibrahim90 for the initial version of the section on the Long Land Pattern Brown Bess musket
Ibrahim90 for the common characteristics of the Long Land Pattern musket, as well as him and W.D.Liddell for the ballistic tests
William Jack and Ibrahim90 for the initial version of the section on the Dutch Infantry musket


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Adam Goldberg Close To A Role In Inferno: A Linda Lovelace Story
We've been writing quite a bit about Rob Epstein and Jeffrey Friedman's Linda Lovelace biopic in the last few months, but Matthew Wilder's Inferno: A Linda Lovelace Story is still very much a thing. While there was plenty of drama in the beginning due to the casting of Lindsey Lohan in the title role, the movie now has Malin Akerman attached to star and quite the supporting cast, including Matt Dillon (who will play Lovelace's pornographer husband Chuck Traynor), Paz de la Huerta (of Boardwalk Empire fame), Sasha Grey (who used to be a porn start herself and Harold Perrineau (who will be playing Sammy Davis Jr.). Now the film is close to adding yet another player to its ranks.
Adam Goldberg, best known for roles in movies like Saving Private Ryan and Dazed and Confused, is now in final negotiations for a part in the film, according to Variety. The trade doesn't say what role Goldberg would play should he be cast in the film. In addition to serving as director, Wilder also wrote the script, which is based on "Ordeal: An Autobiography," the book written by Lovelace and published in 1980. In the book, Lovelace, who was born Linda Susan Boreman, told the story of how Chuck Traynor forced her into the pornography business. Production on the film is scheduled to start next month in Louisiana.
You know, it's funny how the movie industry works. This year we are seeing two separate adaptations of Snow White, a fairy tale told to children every night as they go to bed. Next year we'll get two separate projects about a woman who had the innate ability to take dongs down her throat. It's like poetry.
Your Daily Blend of Entertainment News
NJ native who calls LA home and lives in a Dreamatorium. A decade-plus CinemaBlend veteran who is endlessly enthusiastic about the career he's dreamt of since seventh grade.


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I love grenache. I love it alone, and I love it blends. I love old vines, and new. I love grenache as an ice (seriously!) and as a rose.
- 1. Grenache has nice body, heft, weight.
- 2. Grenache is supple and rich.
- 3. Grenache has lots of strawberry, raspberry, and blackberry fruit.
- 4. Grenache can have a nice spicy kick to it!
- 5. Grenache has a pretty rosey garnet color.
- 6. Grenache goes great with pink and white meats like lamb, pork loin, salmon, but you can also enjoy it with a beef stew.
- 7. Grenache blends well with other wines.
One of the most widely planted red wine grape varieties on the planet, grenache vines get better with age.
Today is a great day to celebrate all things grenache because Continue reading


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Beck admits: Liberals got Iraq right
Glenn Beck is admitting he was wrong and liberals were right for opposing the invasion of Iraq.
"[Liberals] said we couldn't force freedom on people," Beck said at the start of his Tuesday radio show. "Let me lead with my mistakes. You were right. Liberals, you were right, we shouldn't have."
Beck's comments came as he discussed the increasingly partisan divide in politics, saying, "We were a mess in 2008. … It hasn't gotten any better." The radio personality explained his feelings that in the past five years the country has been "ripped apart." To fix this divide, Beck called on the American people to come together on some issues, such as the VA scandal and Iraq.
"From the beginning, most people on the left were against going to Iraq," Beck said. "I wasn't."
The talk show host explained that when a possible invasion of Iraq was being discussed, he believed Saddam Hussein was backing terror against the United States and that something had to be done.
"In spite of the things I felt at the time when we went into war, liberals said, 'We shouldn't get involved, we shouldn't nation-build' and [that] there was no indication the people of Iraq had the will to be free," Beck said. "I thought that was insulting at the time. Everybody wants to be free."
On Tuesday, Beck said, "You cannot force democracy on the Iraqis or anybody else, it doesn't work. They don't understand it or even really want it."


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AVS Image Converter – convert piles of images to all key formats at one go! Make quick adjustments – resize, rotate, apply auto-correction settings. Select between a number of effects. Get your pictures ready to be printed or uploaded to websites! Using AVS Image Converter you can:
Convert several image files from one format to another;
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View all the modifications while editing using the preview window;
Visually judge the progress of the image conversion process;
Convert your images from one format to another without opening the program using the right-click menu.


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Nurmi, Paavo
Nurmi, Paavo pä´vō no͝or´mē [key], 1897–1973, Finnish track star. Between 1920 and 1932 he set 20 world running records and won nine Olympic gold medals. His Olympic victories included the 10,000-meter run and the cross-country event at Antwerp in 1920, the 1,500-meter and 5,000-meter and cross-country runs at Paris in 1924, and the 10,000-meter run at Amsterdam in 1928. In addition, he won three gold medals in team events. He was disqualified from the 1932 Olympic games because of violations of the amateur athletic code; he later became wealthy as a sporting goods merchant.
The Columbia Electronic Encyclopedia, 6th ed. Copyright © 2023, Columbia University Press. All rights reserved.
See more Encyclopedia articles on: Sports: Biographies


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Thanksgiving is upon us once again and all the gobblers are running for cover. To get you in the mood for a little fun and relaxation we asked a few chefs around Dallas several questions so we get our dinner cooked just right. We will run their answers both today and tomorrow, so check back often to see how your favorite chef weighs in on the holiday.
Olga and Raul Reyes operate Mesa Veracruz Coastal Cuisine, their family restaurant in Oak Cliff, and offer their holiday greetings. The restaurant is a beautiful oasis and offers authentic interior Mexican cuisine such as their beautiful house-made moles and fresh and bountiful seafood dishes. They are an adorable couple that offers simple hospitality in a world where the word often falls unnoticed.
When you go to Mesa next, ask Raul to play a tune for you on his guitar. He can make up a special song just for you and your family.
Read what the Reyes sent us this holiday season.
What are some Reyes family turkey tips?
Perfect turkey has to be bought at a ranch! Fresh Cut (Our family goes to pleasant grove to Cepeda farm) to buy our fresh Guajolote!
Fresh or canned cranberries?
Fresh cranberry sauce (Olga's recipe) this serves about 8-10 people. 1 1/2 pounds of cranberries, 1/2 a cup of brown sugar, 1 cup of water. Mix everything up, stir (by hand ) set in oven for 25 min. You should get a paste and served with sweet. Lots of calories but delicious with meal.
Share with us a favorite Thanksgiving dish as a child.
Best thanksgiving dish as a child was when my parents had only a few bucks to buy a turkey. We stuffed it with cranberries, mango, dried raisins and ground beef. Delicious.
In Veracruz since we celebrate Thanksgiving with turkey but also seafood an easy recipe for me to take would be an ensalada de camarones) Carrots, potatoes, peas, peeled boiled shrimp mixed it up with mayonnaise (Mexican kind with lime) and served with salt crackers.
What are some of your favorite holiday traditions?
Favorite holiday tradition is New Years. In Alvarado, Veracruz we have many traditions on New Year's Eve, starting with the firecrackers and a tradition called "El Pobre Viejo" which is an old outfit made as a man and is filled with firecrackers. At 12 o'clock we eat dinner, have our 12 grapes representing the months of the year. Then we add fire to this pobre viejo" in the middle of the streets nobody can drive and there is party in every street and they are welcome to join everyone's house to dance. The meaning of this is that you are letting your "you go away" and begin a new year of hope, and dreams.


text: Exported one set of 9m3 concrete mixing truck to Nigeria. It is to say that this truck can carry 9m3 concrete mixture every time. As we all know, concrete mixing truck is a machine to carry ready mixed concrete mixture from the concrete batching plant to the construction site. And the construction sites are always far away from the place of concrete plant. Therefore, we need a concrete mixing truck to transport the concrete.


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Demand Answers From Chinese Govt
Posted by msrb on September 26, 2008
Up to five percent of infants in Shanghai could have kidney stones after drinking tainted milk formula
"A recent citywide health check of children under three years old showed about five percent were diagnosed with symptoms of possible kidney stones after being fed contaminated powdered milk," the China Daily reported.
China's Health Ministry has not provided any update on the casualty figures for a week.
The World Demands to Know
1. How many infants, babies and children have died after drinking contaminated baby formula/milk/milk products?
2. What are the numbers of infants, babies, children who are sickened after being fed tainted baby formula? How many more are likely to die?
3. What is the Government of China doing to protect Chinese babies from tainted milk and other contaminated foodstuff, and prevent the export of deadly products to other countries, in the future?
4. Why hasn't the Chinese Government prosecuted the 7 directors and other executives of Sanlu-Fonterra joint venture on the charges of corporate manslaughter, homicide?
Related News Links:
Related Links:
- Fonterra File (Index page)
One Response to "Demand Answers From Chinese Govt"
September 26, 2008 at 6:18 am
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Australian oddball indie-poppers Architecture In Helsinki are to release a new single in July.
'Heart It Races' is set for release on July 23, through the Tailem Bend label; the formats in question, a nice seven-inch and the now common digital download.
Nice. Said single is taken from the forthcoming follow-up to the brilliant In Case We Die LP of 2005, Places Like This. It's due out in August.
The band is on tour, soon!
20 Minehead All Tomorrow's Parties
25 Dublin Tripod
26 Bristol Dot To Dot Festival
27 Nottingham Dot To Dot Festival
2 Barcleona Primavera Sound
4 London Kings College
For more AiH, click to their website, here.


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RIO DE JANEIRO — Luis Suarez could become just as awkward for football's international organizers to handle as he has been for rival teams at the World Cup.
The Uruguay forward should find out by late Thursday what punishment he will serve for allegedly biting into the left shoulder of Italy defender Giorgio Chiellini in a crucial group-stage game.
"We have to resolve it either today or tomorrow," FIFA disciplinary panel member Martin Hong told reporters Wednesday. "It's our duty to see justice done."
"We have it deal with it before the next game," the Hong Kong official said, referring to Uruguay's match Saturday against Colombia in the Round of 16 at Maracana Stadium.
Suarez has hit a raw nerve at a tournament characterized by a high quality of football and entertainment.
The consequences of his bite — just before Uruguay scored the clinching goal to eliminate the four-time champion Italians — will now test FIFA president Sepp Blatter's often-stated commitment to "fair play, discipline, respect."
Blatter, who was in the crowd for the Uruguay-Italy match at Natal, has previously pledged a zero tolerance for the darker side of the game.
Many are questioning where that leaves a player like Suarez, who has a history of disciplinary problems including separate bans of seven and 10 matches for biting opponents in the Netherlands and England.
The star Liverpool striker also faces losing income and reputation, with one sponsor reconsidering its recent deal with him.
In the early hours of Wednesday, FIFA announced it had opened a disciplinary case against Suarez.
The case will now be managed by Swiss lawyer, Claudio Sulser, chairman of the FIFA disciplinary committee. A former international forward himself, Sulser has worked for four years at FIFA, first as head of its ethics court and now the disciplinary committee.
Sulser can choose to judge the obvious offense within the scale of typical red-card incidents: A three-match ban may then be appropriate, banishing Suarez at least until the World Cup final should Uruguay advance through the knockout rounds.
There's scope for a more severe sanction: under the guidelines a ban of up to 24 international matches could be applied.
FIFA can also choose to ban Suarez for a period of time, to a maximum of two years, likely covering all football and not just Uruguay duty. That could affect a widely speculated transfer to Barcelona or Real Madrid.
Suarez and the Uruguay football federation had until 5 p.m. local time (4 p.m. EDT/2000 GMT) to present a documented case for the defense, though he is unlikely to be called to Rio de Janeiro to meet with Sulser's panel.
Uruguay federation board member Alejandro Balbi, who is Suarez's lawyer, defended the player on Wednesday.
"This happened because there have been campaigns launched by the media in England and Italy," Balbi told Uruguayan radio Sport 890 from Brazil.
FIFA stated it would call on video evidence, which surely will have pleased Blatter, a proponent of using video evidence in cases which on-field officials missed.
"Video evidence can be used for serious breaches of the principle of fair play such as brawling, spitting at opponents, verbal insults and racist slurs, or for incorrectly awarded red or yellow cards," he wrote in February.
Images of Chiellini pulling aside the sleeve of his Azzurri shirt on the field to show the referee the marks on his shoulder were broadcast around the world. FIFA also has access to footage from other angles and other parts of the field.
Completing the case ahead of Saturday's match could be complicated if Suarez appeals any ban. That challenge could go direct to the Court of Arbitration for Sport in Switzerland for an urgent and binding ruling.
However, one option open to FIFA and Sulser to avoid that scenario is that a suspension of "fewer than three matches or of up to two months" cannot be appealed, according to FIFA rules.
Already, one of Suarez's sponsors said it was "reviewing our relationship with him."
"We will not tolerate unsporting behavior," 888poker said in a Twitter message.
Last month, the firm announced a global endorsement contract with Suarez, a poker enthusiast, after he was voted the Premier League's best player by his peers and football writers.
Adidas, which also has Suarez as a client and is FIFA's longest standing World Cup sponsor, said it was monitoring the case.
Meanwhile, Suarez was criticized by a Uruguay football great Alcides Ghiggia, the last survivor of the team which defeated Brazil to win the 1950 World Cup.
Suarez "plays well but he has done things that are not normal for a player nor for a soccer game," Ghiggia told The AP. "I think FIFA can sanction him."


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The Women's Golf Coaches Association (WGCA), formerly known as the National Golf Coaches Association (NGCA), began in 1983 as an organization to promote participation in women's collegiate golf. The vision of the WGCA since its inception has been to encourage the playing of intercollegiate golf for women in correlation with a general objective of education and in accordance with the highest tradition of intercollegiate competition.
The WGCA instills within coaches of women's golf a deeper sense of responsibility for the promotion, development, maintenance and conduct of competitive golf for women.
Today, the WGCA represents the finest coaches in women's golf with a membership of over 650 coaches of Division I, II & III, NAIA and NJCAA collegiate programs.
The organization provides its membership with a numerous benefits including industry recognition through prestigious awards, opportunity to participate in educational and networking events, cost-savings through association sponsored programs and communication through it's many features on www.wgcagolf.com.
WGCA is governed by a 16 member Board of Directors including women's collegiate golf coaches at Division I, II & III institutions. The WGCA Headquarters is based in Coral Springs, Florida and is staffed by Executive Director Roger M. Yaffe and Membership Services Representative Paige Thompson.


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Last week set up a final, hand-to-hand showdown between LLENN and Pitohui, and after a little friendly ribbing, LLENN manages to strike a nerve and get Pito to let her guard down. The thing is, even cutting her in the leg and throat doesn't come close to bringing her down, and she has an iron fist waiting for LLENN's face. She even eyes LLENN's discarded P-chan, and has no qualms about using it to kill its master.
P-chan self-destructs rather than let that happen, but M is nearby with Fuka as his hostage. Pito's rationale for killing M before Fuka or LLENN is that he betrayed her by bringing his love into what she wanted to be a true "death game."
Fuka frees herself with the dagger in her hair, rushes Pito, but doesn't attack her; instead, she cuts off LLENN'S hands and kicks her just right so she's able to, essentially, tear out Pito's throat. Pito admits defeat and agrees to honor the promise they made to meet IRL if LLENN killed her.
Unfortunately, the very distracted LLENN and Fuka are taken out by the last remaining team (T-S) who end up winning SJ2, but LLENN's primary objective was never to win, but to save Pito, and in that she was successful.
After having tea and sweets with real-life SHINC, Karen and Miyu meet up with Goushi (of whose looks Miyu immediately approves), who has agreed to take them where real-life Pito is.
On the way, he describes how he was once a pathetic fatty who stalked Pito, and ended up being captured, restrained, beaten, and turned into her manservant, all of which he's fine with, because "M" stands for masochist.
After watching Elsa Kanzaki play guitar and sing at her secret concert, Goushi takes Karen and Miyu backstage to meet the real-life Pito…the club owner. But Karen isn't fooled; Elsa is the real Pito, because she knew things only someone who read her letter could know about her.
Elsa congratulates Karen for seeing through their admittedly half-assed little ruse, and gives her a big kiss that makes her very uncomfortable (though Karen herself gave her a big hug just before that).
When next we see the two, they are LLENN and Pitohui, only now they're on the same side, enjoying GGO not as a Death Game, but a place to just have fun. And after her first and only encounter with Elsa IRL, Karen is somewhat reluctant to agree to any future ones.
So ends a usually entertaining, occasionally clever, but ultimately inessential edition to the SAO/GGO saga.


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The Usual Joint, 32 Furlong Road, Sunshine North.
Consider The Sauce has a liking for short menus.
Compact, succinct, brief.
The Usual Joint, however, takes tight to new heights.
Sure, at this friendly, spacious, new Sunshine North cafe you can get a range of sangers and there's a display cabinet of rolls and even lasagna.
And there's marvellous sweets – more on those later.
But they appear to have settled into a groove of offering just a single lunch-time made-to-order meal – and even then only at weekends.
That's cool – we can roll with that.
I'm told these meals have and will run to the likes of pho and curries.
But at the first of two visits, CTS enjoys …
… a lovely serve of won ton noodles for $12.
It's a simple and soulful, and packed with fine ingredients: A single, plump dumpling, a wafer, a fat prawn, pork both sliced and minced – and good, hot broth.
At our subsequent visit, we enjoy the wagyu sliders ($15).
Now, we be no great fans of sliders – they often seem too fussy to us.
But these wow with panache.
A big part of the winningness is down to the accessories – cornichons, shoestring fries and a tub of super rich and fabulously yummy Japanese-style potato salad.
But the sliders themselves are no slouches, either.
The rolls are stuffed with well-cooked beef, mushies, beetroot, tomato, lettuce and bacon.
They eat bigger than they look.
And the ingredients, particularly the beetroot, convey a likeness to a regular Aussie burger – only better.
But there is much more going on at The Usual Joint than the single-offering savoury roster.
The place has quickly become a community focal point, with a happy crowd hitting the place to eat, meet and sup on a range of specialty teas and coffees.
The punters are mostly of the young and Asian variety.
I'm tempted to call them young, Asian and hip – but that might give them big heads and stuff.
As well, there is a very sexy range of sweets.
The highlights in that regard are the crepe cakes.
Oh boy, these are so good – multiple layers of tender crepes soaked through with your flavour of choice.
Keenly priced at $8, they're quite filling and superbly inhabit our favourite dessert niche – that of decadence without being sickly sweet.
We love the pandan (above) most of all, but also enjoy …
… the Thai milk tea and …
… the matcha.
Our crepe cake slices are matched with excellent cafe lattes.
Best bet is to "like" The Usual Joint on Facebook so you'll know what's cooking in terms of those hot meals.


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Over the past week, large areas of Australia's eastern seaboard have been ravaged by floods. Billions of dollars worth of damage has been done, and sitting quietly amidst that tally is this man's retro gaming hardware collection.
Aussie collector NFG's house in Queensland was among those affected, flood waters getting into his home and destroying many of his personal belongings. Among those belongings was an amazing collection of retro gaming hardware, once a glittering array of the medium's past, now a worthless pile of mud-soaked plastic and chipboards (and rare Nintendo hanafuda cards).
PC-Engines, old Sega consoles, Neo Geos, Spectrums, FM Town Martys, old Nintendo Game & Watch handhelds...all gone. You can check out the damage in the gallery below.
The floods so far have cost twenty lives, with grave fears for dozens more still reported missing. To give you an idea of the scale of the disaster, late last week the total area of the state of Queensland lying underwater was larger than that of Germany and France put together.
[Gallery @ NFG]