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Painted Post, N.Y., May 2 — Spring means many things to many people, but to a fanatical band of hard-driving autoholics, it has come to mean something wonderful to insiders, something almost incomprehensible to others: an entire week with almost no sleep, endless hours behind the wheel, frequent bombardment by police radar, leavened by a few episodes of pulse-pounding, adrenaline-generating yee-ha exhilaration.
It's called One Lap of America, a unique annual tour that gives participants a chance to test their skills on a connoisseur's collection of U.S. motorsports facilities, ranging from famous road racing circuits such as Watkins Glen, New York, and Wisconsin's Road America, to down home half-mile dirt tracks like Tulsa Motor Speedway.
There's drag racing, too, and it all adds up to what veteran Car and Driver columnist Brock Yates, the event's founder, calls "an entire racing season in one week."
One Lap is descended from the outlaw Cannonball Baker Sea-to-Shining-Sea Memorial Trophy Dash, better known as the Cannonball Run. Yates was the culprit in that one, too.
Back then, the objective was to drive from New York City to Redondo Beach, California as fast as possible — an objective that met with mounting degrees of official disapproval.
In the modern sequel, which enjoys its 20th renewal this year, there's still some flat-out driving, but it's strictly against the clock, and the competition is confined to racetracks — mostly road-racing circuits, with drag racing and that lone dirt track thrown in to make things more interesting.
The rest of the event consists of getting from track to track on time for the next round of time trials.
This is not quite as easy as it may sound.
For example, on day three of the '03 tour, following the double round of time trials at Road America (some 20 miles west of Sheboygan, Wisconsin), the Lappers must trek about 850 miles to be on time for an 8 a.m. date at the Hallett Motor Racing Circuit, a little west of Tulsa, Oklahoma.
As the organizers insist, the schedule does indeed leave "ample time to get to the next circuit." Time for sleeping — in a hotel bed — is another matter. Fuggedaboudit.
Then again, One Lap veterans — they call themselves "Lap Dogs" — will tell you they came to drive, not to sleep.
A bumper sticker on one of the cars sums it up: "Sleep is for the weak."
Most One Lap recidivists keep coming back for the camaraderie, for an opportunity to drive on famous racetracks, and to return home with vacation stories that are guaranteed to be unique.
But the trophy that goes with the best overall performance in this event is highly coveted, and invariably draws some serious machinery and noteworthy driving talent.
The 2003 field is no exception.
There are 10 One Lap competition classes, grouping cars together in roughly similar performance categories.
The top contenders — 28 of this year's 84-car field — are grouped in the SSGT1 class, where the strongest commonality is massive horsepower. And as the players checked tire pressures and got ready for action at the May 3 Watkins Glen opening round, four stood out as most likely for top honors.
The pre-race top dogs:
- Brian Smith, 2003 Dodge Viper. Smith has three first-place trophies to his credit already, and a fourth straight overall victory would be unprecedented in One Lap annals. The Viper is direct from the factory, and the man who was responsible for developing its 500-hp engine — DaimlerChrysler engineer Dave Zelkowski — is Smith's co-driver. Zelkowski does more than his share of the highway driving. He's also a capable drag-racer, and drove last year's winning Viper to second place in the tour's bracket-racing round at Indianapolis Raceway Park.
- Paul Gerrard, 2001 Ruf Porsche. A Skip Barber Racing School instructor, Gerrard has come close to top honors in two previous Laps. Owned by co-driver Gary Church, the Louis Ruf-tuned Porsche 911 will have less power than the other front-runners, but should be competitive on some of the tighter circuits such as Hallett, Carolina Motorsports Park in South Carolina, and BeaveRun, a new track just north of Pittsburgh.
- Ron Adee, 2002 Chevrolet Corvette. A past One Lap champ (1998), Adee has campaigned a Dodge Viper in years past, but this year brings a 7.0-liter Corvette to the party. Although a Corvette has never claimed top honors in this event, Adee has added a little something extra to his Vette's bag of tricks — a couple steel bottles of nitrous oxide plumbed into the car's intake system. Added to the fuel-air mixture, nitrous — aka laughing gas — can deliver a big horsepower bonus. Adee will only admit to 485 hp, but that's without pushing the button that summons the magic gas. What happens when he lets the genie out of the bottle is something we'll just have to wait to see.
- John Boos, 2001 Chevrolet Corvette. A Lap Puppy (Lap Dog-speak for rookie) in '02, Boos impressed observers by driving his modified '86 Corvette to third place overall. Although he was pitted against cars with much fancier pedigrees — a Porsche 911 Turbo and a Lamborghini Diablo, to name two — Boos was quick and consistent throughout the '02 tour. This year he's back in a much newer Vette with stronger mechanical credentials. Owned by Ron Marks, the '02 Z06 was massaged by Corvette specialists Doug Rippie and Myron Cottrell.
There are promising battles shaping up in some of the lesser classes, particularly the Mid-Price Sedan category, the second-most populous group with 18 entries. But we'll follow up on that story — as well as the adventures of the official Car and Driver entry, a Porsche Cayenne Turbo — in a future edition.
Until then.
Watkins Glen, NY, May 3 — It was opening day here for the 2003 running of the Tire Rack Cannonball One Lap of America Presented by Car and Driver, and if the name isn't quite as easy to remember as, say, the Indy 500, it's not unreasonable to say it delivers a fair measure of excitement and surprises.
The excitement of this unique American motorsports event lies in its varied menu of time-trial track events at venues ranging from the obscure (e.g., Tulsa Speedway, a half-mile dirt oval) to the famous, such as this storied road-racing circuit in New York's Finger Lakes country.
As for the surprises, this opening day provided several.
For example, Eric Heuschle drove to the 11th quickest time overall in the day's first time trial.
What's surprising about that? Just that he did so in a Dodge Neon, dusting off a number of Porsches, Corvettes, and BMWs in the process. Not to mention a 600-hp supercharged Ford Thunderbird running in his own competition class (Mid-Price Sedan).
To be accurate, this was not an ordinary Neon. It was a Neon SRT-4, which is a factory hot rod version of the compact econocar. With turbocharging, its 2.0-liter four-cylinder is rated for 215 hp, versus the 150 of the stock engine, and it has suspension tuning designed to make the most of the extra muscle.
For that matter, this was no ordinary Neon SRT-4, either. Heuschle is a DaimlerChrysler engineer, and this particular hot rod got special treatment from the factory. Heuschle admits to 240 hp.
Beyond that, with multiple Sports Car Club of America national championships to his credit, Heuschle is no ordinary driver.
Nevertheless, his car was giving away hundreds of ponies to the fancier pedigrees, and making his achievement even more noteworthy was Heuschle's learning curve. Although he's a veteran road racer, it was his first run at Watkins Glen.
A similar surprise, albeit on a more modest scale, was posted by BMW tuner Roy Hopkins, who drove a modestly massaged BMW M5 to the sixth fastest time overall in the opening round, then followed that up by turning the eighth quickest run in the nightcap.
Rated for 400 hp in stock tune, the M5 doesn't give away as much to the top dogs as Heuschle's Neon, but the BMW sedan weighs in several hundred pounds north of the Vipers and Porsches, which puts an exclamation point on Hopkins' performance.
It also left Hopkins in seventh place overall, and solidly in command of the Luxury Sedan class.
Other surprises weren't as much fun.
Karl Troy's gorgeous stars 'n stripes Lamborghini Diablo came to grief in its first run, whacking its left rear corner against a concrete barrier. Although it wasn't a major whack, the Lambo's left rear quarter houses one of its radiators, which stopped radiating and began leaking.
A little ingenuity had Troy's Lambo running again in time for the second session — he was seventh quickest — but veteran Lap Dog Howard Lafever wasn't so fortunate following a harder whack in just about the same section of track.
Lafever's much-traveled Chevy Impala SS suffered a crumpled right front corner, and left the track behind a tow truck.
Undaunted, Lafever insisted he'd get the Chevy straightened out and rejoin the tour at some later date, a goal he shared with Canadian Danny Corcoran.
Another veteran Lap Dog who consistently runs in the top 10 or 15 overall, Corcoran's problems were mechanical — a fried clutch in his supercharged 1995 Pontiac Firebird.
The attrition became particularly noticeable at one point in the second round of time trials.
Competitors are flagged off in groups of five or six, spaced out at 10- to 15-second intervals. The cars run three timed laps from a standing start, then return to the pits.
However, the event officials got a little worried when only one car of a late afternoon five-car group completed the run. The other four were marooned at various points around the circuit, two stuck in sand traps, two sidelined with mechanical woes.
A number of other contenders also experienced mechanical difficulties of varying magnitude at the Glen, but how many would be solved in time for reveille at Indianapolis Raceway Park, the venue for Day Two, remains to be seen.
As noted, there were surprises — but not at the front of the pack, where Brian Smith established himself once again as the guy to beat for the overall title.
Smith herded a brand-new factory-supplied Dodge Viper to the fastest time in both three-lap runs at the Glen, edging Ron Adee's 7.0-liter Corvette in both rounds.
John Boos pedaled his 7.0-liter Corvette to the third quickest time, although a 10-second penalty for clipping a course marker cone cost him a position in the first round, and Texan Andi Baritchi put on a strong showing in a surprisingly potent Supra Turbo for fourth place in the standings.
Although he was giving away between 100 to 200 horsepower to the front-runners, Paul Gerrard drove Gary Church's beautiful RUF Porsche 911 to a respectable fifth place in both rounds.
Meanwhile, in the not-very-hotly-contested SUV class, the official Car and Driver Porsche Cayenne Turbo hustled to twenty-second in the overall standings.
This is not exactly the raw material of legends, but it's not bad road racing performance for a vehicle with stepladder ground clearance and over 2.5 tons of curb weight.
So we conclude with the burning question: Can anyone stop the Brian Smith-Dave Zelkowski-Viper juggernaut? And just how many Lappers will be on hand for the IRP roll call?
Tune in tomorrow.
Indianapolis, IN, May 4 — One Lap of America '03 got considerably more interesting today at Indianapolis Raceway Park, as a pair of Corvette drivers served notice that this year's event may not be the Brian Smith Viper cakewalk that seemed to be shaping up in Saturday's opening rounds at Watkins Glen.
Details of this day's amazingly close racing in a minute. But first, a word from the back of the pack.
If you think driving a hybrid car means the end of fun behind the wheel, Ed Olkkola and Brian Healy would like to talk to you.
Although these two One Lap veterans aren't immune to the need for speed, they also have an appreciation for innovative engineering and the technology of a changing world.
And that's why they're campaigning a Honda Civic Hybrid this year, instead of the supercharged Ford F150 Lightning that carried them to SUV class honors in the 2002.
As you might expect, the little Civic Hybrid isn't quite as quick as the bad boy Lightning.
Nevertheless, it was fast and agile enough to beat at least a few other runners in the first round of time trials today on the Indianapolis Raceway Park road racing circuit.
The elapsed time for the Civic's standing-start three-lap run — 7:02.570 — was more than a minute and a half slower than the time posted by the session's quickest (more on that in a minute), but it was nevertheless good enough to beat a pair of Porsche Boxsters, among others.
This made Olkkola gleeful.
"Maybe it's faster than we thought," he said.
While Olkkola and Healy get good marks for environmental good citizenship on one hand, there is a small asterisk to their effort.
The Civic Hybrid uses a thrifty four-cylinder gasoline engine for propulsion in most situations, and a small electric motor — sandwiched between the engine and transmission — adds extra punch for passing or other situations requiring extra power.
The system is designed to replenish the battery pack that feeds the motor, and in ordinary driving it does a good job.
But racetrack lapping is not ordinary driving. In the course of a three-lap run the battery pack for the auxiliary motor is tapped out.
And as a consequence, Olkkola and Healy leave the Civic idling in the pits between runs to rejuvenate the lost juice, which does seem a little contrary to the whole idea of hybrids.
What's up with that? Easy. Messrs. Olkkola and Healy admit that they want to add another One Lap class championship to their collection.
As the only team entered in the Alternative Fuel Vehicle class — a debut category this year — it looks like they've got a pretty good shot.
Meanwhile, at the front of the pack, the IRP sessions suggested that defending champ Brian Smith isn't necessarily a lock for a fourth straight One Lap overall title.
The personable South Carolinian drove his factory Dodge Viper roadster to the best time in the day's second session, and he left the track still in command in the overall standings.
But Corvette drivers Ron Adee and John Boos served notice that it won't be over until it's over.
Boos pedaled to the quickest time in the day's first run, and in both sessions the top three — Smith, Adee, Boos — were within three-tenths of a second of one another.
That's extraordinarily close by any standard, and it set the stage for Monday's Day Three showdown at Road America in Elkhart Lake, Wisconsin: three fast cars and three fast drivers, pitting their skills against the fastest road racing circuit in America.
There was one other event on the Day Two menu, unique even by One Lap standards.
Title sponsor Tire Rack set up a skidpad trial at its South Bend, Indiana headquarters, giving the '03 Lappers an opportunity to gauge just how well their tires are working.
It also turned out to be a very well organized event, complete with spectators, an amplified announcer, and FM radio coverage.
A standard suspension development technique, skidpad testing is used to determine how well a car will stick to the pavement when it's going around a corner.
Here's how it's done. The car is driven around a circle with a known diameter — 100, 200, or 300 feet. The runs are done at the highest speed the car can sustain and still hang onto the circle's circumference, and the laps are timed, clockwise and counterclockwise.
The lap times are then converted into a number, expressed as lateral g, for gravity. A lateral g number of .86 g, for example, means the test vehicle can cling to the pavement until the lateral, or centrifugal, force exceeds 86 percent of the force of gravity.
A lateral g number of 1.0 is exceptionally high — and rare — for a car with street legal tires, but some of the One Lap cars are thought to have come very close to that number.
The Tire Rack skidpad scoring does count in the One Lap totals, but the competition was still in progress when your C/D reporters packed up to head for Wisconsin. Thus, those results will have to keep until the Road America round is concluded.
We can tell you, however, that despite its elephantine bulk, the C/D Porsche Cayenne Turbo posted the best skidpad performance in the SUV class.
We can also tell you that Paul Gerrard drove Gary Church's RUF Porsche 911 to the best skidpad performance in the field, thus keeping his title hopes alive.
Next stop: Wisconsin.
Elkhart Lake, WI, May 5 — Weather is the wild card of the motorsports game, and it was wild indeed at Road America today, as Mother Nature dealt the 2003 One Lap of America field a handful of soggy jokers.
When the spray had settled, some of the tour's aces found they'd been trumped, and the overall standings got a good shuffling. And of all the front-runners, defending champ Brian Smith found himself holding the worst hand.
Faced with a steady rain, limited visibility, and temperatures in the mid-'40s, the Road America management and One Lap safety crew decided to limit the day to one session, rather than the planned two, a decision that got no argument from the drivers.
They also added a stop-and-go procedural tweak designed to reduce the possibility of mayhem.
Road America is essentially a horsepower track, designed for fast cars, and a fair proportion of its four miles consists of straightaways.
There is one feature, however, that racers talk about in hushed, respectful tones. It's called "The Kink," a very fast right hand dogleg that precedes a long, meandering not-quite-straight called Kettle Bottoms, a section of the circuit that regularly sees the highest speeds of any given lap.
Thus, the Kink is one of the keys to a fast lap at Road America. But because there's a concrete barrier just a few feet off the outside of the turn, it's also been the scene of numberless crashes in the track's long history, many of them disastrous.
Given the varied experience of the One Lap drivers, many of whom had never driven at this track, plus conditions that were just three or four raindrops short of appalling, the organizers mandated a full stop for each car just before entering the Kink on each of the timed laps.
You approached the Kink, came to a complete stop, then took off again. Ditto lap two, three, and so on.
It was a good idea, and undoubtedly preserved a fair amount of sheetmetal.
But it also proved to be Smith's undoing.
The three-time champ had slipped back into a tie with John Boos in the overall standings following Day Two events in Indiana, and wet conditions are far from ideal for rear-drive cars with big fat engines and big fat tires.
When Smith hustled away from the Kink on his third lap, the rear end of his car snapped sideways, and despite some frantic corrections, the Viper whacked its snout against the inside wall.
"I thought I caught it, but I guess I over-corrected," he said.
Although he got back on track and finished the session, his four-lap elapsed time was only 11th best.
Someone asked Smith if he needed any tools or special equipment to effect repairs on the Viper.
"A time machine," he replied.
While the weather proved daunting for many One Lap drivers — the tow trucks were busy after almost every run, retrieving cars stranded in various gravel traps — it was a source of delight to a few, particularly Paul Gerrard.
With 385 hp, Gerrard's RUF Porsche 911 faced a serious power disadvantage on Road America's long straights — had the weather been dry.
But in conditions that suggested ark building made more sense than racing, Gerrard's skill brought the Porsche home with the quickest time of the day, almost seven seconds better than the creditable performance recorded by Ron Adee's Corvette.
"The weather was a big break for us," said Gerrard. "No way we could have run with Brian and Ron and the other guys if it hadn't rained."
Though Gerrard was the star of this show, there were a couple other noteworthy wet track performances at Road America.
Tops under that heading was DaimlerChrysler engineer Eric Heuschle, who hustled his Dodge Neon SRT-4 to the day's third best time, 16 seconds better than Boos and just four seconds off Adee's pace.
This remarkable run gave Heuschle a solid lead in the Mid-Price Sedan class, and also elevated him into the top ten overall, a realm usually reserved for cars sporting 500 hp or more.
Canadian Danny Corcoran rounded out the Road America top five, driving the supercharged Pontiac Firebird he'd revitalized after a clutch failure in the Watkins Glen opener.
Elsewhere, the Frank Jordan-Jon Krolewicz-Brian Dowling Mitsubishi Evolution cranked off the day's seventh-best run, the first time the new Evo has cracked the top ten, and the Car and Driver Porsche Cayenne Turbo proved there may be something to the road-hugging-weight theory after all by finishing eighth.
As the Lappers stowed their damp baggage and headed for Oklahoma's Hallett Motor Racing Circuit — some 850 miles away — Adee and Boos were tied atop the One Lap leader board, with Gerrard 25 points back in third place, and Smith's taped-up Viper in fourth, 10 points behind the Church-Gerrard Porsche.
Since Hallett is a much tighter, technically demanding circuit than Road America, Gerrard figures to be a big factor once again.
And don't forget Tulsa Motor Speedway, the half-mile dirt oval where John Boos dusted all comers in his One Lap debut last year.
This is getting pretty interesting.
Memphis, TN, May 7 — Though it continues to be among the closest One Lap competitions in memory, after two rounds of road racing at Memphis Motorsports Park here today, it began to look as if the overall title for 2003 is Ron Adee's to lose.
The Illinois driver was quickest in both runs on the Memphis road racing layout, which combines a drag strip with a back section of tight twisty turns. The learning curve here is deceptive and steep.
Continuing to feed his 7.0-liter Corvette a high horsepower diet enriched by nitrous oxide, Adee edged the John Boos Corvette in the morning round by a scant two-tenths of a second over the three-lap run.
In the afternoon round the challenge came from Brian Smith's Dodge Viper, but once again Adee prevailed, this time by a resounding three-tenths of a second.
Boos, meanwhile, slipped to fourth in the afternoon run, behind Karl Troy's resurgent stars 'n' stripes Lamborghini Diablo.
Although Tuesday's stormy weather had subsided by the time the One Lap tour reached the track, it still affected the Day Five activities. Several sections of the road course were inundated, which delayed the start for two hours while track officials took depth soundings and waited for the water to drain off.
Even then, the early runners found themselves navigating their way — literally — through some deep puddles, which made for interesting visual effects and even more interesting traction conditions.
A bigger consequence of the previous night's deluge, however, was the condition of the drag strip. The starting line — which is not included as part of the road racing circuit — was under water, which affected the timing equipment, as in: Sorry, no power.
As a result, the drag racing portion of the Day Five program was scrubbed. And this, in turn, took away the secret weapon of the top Viper team.
DaimlerChrysler engineer Dave Zelkowski, one of the key players in the development of the Viper's new V10 engine, also happens to be very good at the subtleties of drag racing, an element of the Memphis program that might have put his team back near the top of the standings.
But it was not to be, and with only five rounds of road racing time trials left on the '03 menu —two at Carolina Motorsports Park, the final three at BeaveRun, just north of Pittsburgh —Adee's impressive consistency makes his 25-point edge over Boos look strong.
Strong doesn't mean unassailable, though. Rain may be part of the game at Carolina, and one medium-sized mistake could restore parity to the top of the charts.
And there's also the issue of reliability. Nitrous oxide systems don't always function as advertised, and for Adee's car the absence of nitrous would not be a laughing matter.
While the fast four continue their pursuit of the big trophy for overall honors, there are battles going on for class championships, not quite as visible as the front-of-pack pursuit, but equally entertaining.
Tops in the entertaining department is the Luxury Sedan category, where defending champ Roy Hopkins is making a dramatic comeback after spending a dreary 10 minutes awaiting a tow truck in a Road America gravel trap, an episode that netted him zero points for the round.
Meanwhile, the Babcock boys, Norm and Mike, are nursing a steadily shrinking Luxo Sedan class lead in their Audi S4. Can they hold on through five more runs? Can Michael Andretti win the Indy 500 in his swan song effort? These are the burning motorsports questions of the day.
Elsewhere, the Mid-Priced Sedan class has plenty of contenders, but unless they encounter mechanical problems, Eric Heuschele and Corey O'Brien have a lock on the category, and their cheeky little Neon SRT-4 has an excellent chance to finish in the top ten overall, a rarity for a four-cylinder compact car.
Greg Hagopian's Ford Probe, another nitrous-boosted effort, leads SSGT2, but by a small margin over the Carter Thompson-Jeremy Sweeney Nissan 350Z, and the Car and Driver Porsche Cayenne Turbo continues to hold a comfortable edge in the SUV category.
Other class leaders:
Economy Car: Jamin Cummings, Dale Seeley, 1997 Saturn SC1.
Vintage Imported: Glen Clarke, Louis Frian III, 1979 Porsche 911.
Retro: Mark Goughnour, Howard Solotroff, 2003 Mini Cooper S.
Alternative Fuel: Ed Olkkola, Brian Healy, 2003 Honda Civic Hybrid.
Super Tuner: Mike Hickman, Thomas Bertino, 1981 Chevrolet Camaro Z28.
Vintage American: George Batejan, Steve Smotrich, 1965 Ford Mustang.
Next stop: Kershaw, South Carolina.
Kershaw, SC, May 8 — As the race for the overall championship continued hot in 90-degree weather, Eric Heuschele gave new meaning to the words "photo finish" here today, day six of the 2003 One Lap of America run.
Heuschele's feat occurred in the first round of time trials at Carolina Motorsports Park, a sparkling near-new road racing facility laid out amid the rich greenery of north central South Carolina.
Pedaling hard to sustain his lead in the Mid-Price Sedan class, as well as a spot in the top ten overall rankings, Heuschele employed an old qualifying ploy, keeping his foot on the gas through the timing lights on his final lap.
Unfortunately, the timing lights happened to be set up close to turn one, a slow, 90-degree left-hander, and Heuschele got around to braking just a little later than was prudent.
Inevitably, there were consequences. Heuschele's Dodge Neon SRT-4 went wide at the turn, its right side wheels dug into the soft sandy soil at the edge of the track, and the car executed a slow roll onto its right side.
Aside from his pride, Heuschele was unhurt and so was the Neon. A gang of Lappers got the hot rod Neon back on its wheels, and other than some lurid grass stains — easily removed with today's miracle detergents — it was basically none the worse for the wear.
A multiple Sports Car Club of America national champion, with many years of racing experience, Heuschele was feeling sheepish after his slide for life.
"Brain fade," he admitted. "We were lucky."
Since the incident occurred after the checkered flag had already been waved, Heuschele didn't lose any points for his excursion, and he was back on track for the afternoon session.
Any danger of a repeat turn one performance was removed when the One Lap crew moved the finish line and the timing equipment upstream about 50 yards.
While Heuschele was providing what turned out to be a little comic relief, the battle for the overall championship continued hot and heavy.
Points leader Ron Adee came to the Carolina track nursing a 45-point edge over his nearest challenger, and left nursing a 30-point lead over two of them.
Defending champ Brian Smith kept his hopes alive for a fourth straight title by posting the fastest time in both Carolina runs, edging Adee's Corvette in the first round, and beating the John Boos Corvette in the second.
Adee, meanwhile, slipped to fourth in the nightcap.
Thus, Smith and Boos are tied for second place and are within striking distance going into the final day at BeaveRun, the new facility north of Pittsburgh.
And thanks to a mischievous BeaveRun event menu, how it will all play out is anybody's guess.
In addition to time trials on the road racing circuit, the planners have added mandatory timed runs on the BeaveRun go-kart complex.
Very tight, very twisty, this is a setup that favors maneuverability and precise driving over massive horsepower.
It is not well-suited to mastodons like the Car and Driver Porsche Cayenne Turbo. Imagine an elephant tap-dancing, and you've got the idea.
And nitrous oxide, the horsepower booster that Adee has used so effectively in his 2003 campaign, will provide no benefit whatsoever.
Add the possibility of rain to this flux of factors, and you have a matrix of variables no Vegas oddsmaker would touch.
Who will win? Check this space tomorrow.


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HSN's Fashionista
How CEO Mindy Grossman has taken HSN from ThighMasters and elastic-waist pants to Serena Williams and top designers
It's 30 minutes to airtime, and Serena Williams—muscled, styled, economical in her movements—sits on a leather couch admiring her navy blue quilted flats. "These are incredibly comfortable shoes," she says. This is not the casual remark of a celebrity killing time in the green room. This is Serena Williams-as-saleswoman, practicing her pitch. Over the next 24 hours, Williams will be live on HSN (HSNI)—the television shopping service formerly known as the Home Shopping Network—for a total of eight hours, hawking pieces from her clothing and jewelry collection to women across America—some 15,000 bracelets, 4,000 flats, 1,900 pairs of jeans, plus sweaters, dresses, T-shirts, and handbags. Every minute she is on air will be measured in dollars, every hour will be scripted, product by product, to build momentum. When it's over, Williams is expected to have sold all of it. On HSN, celebrities have to produce.
The fact that Williams is here at all, linking her reputation to an outlet once known for pushing Suzanne Somers' ThighMaster, shows how far HSN Chief Executive Officer Mindy Grossman has taken the company. When Grossman was recruited for the job in 2006 by Barry Diller, chief executive of HSN's then-corporate parent IAC/InterActiveCorp, she told Diller that she would accept only if he gave her the freedom to turn the place upside down. She had an impressive background, which included nine years at Polo Ralph Lauren (RL), where she launched the Chaps and Polo Jeans lines, and six years at Nike (NKE), where she built up the women's apparel business. She wanted to transform HSN by making it more modern and tasteful: Maybe it would never be hip, it certainly wouldn't try to be edgy, but it could at least be relevant. "I got excited about what it could be, not what it was," she says during an interview at the Pierre Hotel in Manhattan. "There was not a lot of pride in the culture, and that was shocking to me, especially given where I had come from."
HSN and its ubiquitous low-fi cable channel had become a symbol of American consumption gone terribly wrong. The clothes were uninspired; the beauty products didn't live up to their claims; the gadgets arrived broken. It was a second-rate version of its main competitor, QVC. "I knew we had to move quickly," says Grossman, "on the things we needed to stop doing."
Within her first year at the company, she dumped about a dozen brands she had never heard of. Gone were the pants with elastic waists and anything that viewers could easily find elsewhere. Then she set out to create a studio environment that wouldn't scare off the designers she hoped to feature. For that she turned to Andrew Sheldon, a British television executive. He streamlined the sets, cleaned up the green rooms, hired full-time makeup artists and hair stylists, and modulated the hosts' presentations. "Before, there was a lot of finger pointing. They spoke too quickly and too loudly," he says. "Selling doesn't mean you have to shout 'Buy it! Buy it!' "
HSN is still only a fraction the size of QVC, which had $7.4 billion in 2009 revenue. (John Malone's Liberty Media Interactive (LINTA), which owns QVC, also owns one-third of HSN; under the terms of a standstill agreement that expires in August, it will have the right to buy more, or all, of the company.) But HSN is now a credible competitor, and just as important, it has achieved a measure of cultural status. "I've never tried to motivate my staff by saying we're going to be bigger than someone else," Grossman says. "I'm more a Mac than a PC."
Even during the depths of the recession, when many retailers' sales fell dramatically, HSN's grew, rising 3 percent in both 2008 and 2009. In the first three months of 2010, sales increased 9 percent, to $519 million, compared with 2009, and HSN shipped nearly 10 million items to customers. HSN's corporate parent, HSNi, which includes the shopping network and Web site as well as a separate catalog division, is a $2.8 billion business. Its stock has more than doubled in value since it was spun off from Diller's IAC (IACI) in August 2008, just before the retail economy collapsed.
Grossman, 52, is sleek and stylish, and she likes to pile on the necklaces and bracelets when she dresses. If women ask her for advice about accessories, she always says: "more." She calls HSN customers, herself included, "professional shoppers." More than 80 percent of them are women, and most are over 35 and comfortably middle class. Beyond that, what they seem to have in common is a desire to be soothed by the promise that what they buy will make them feel better: It's the psychology of acquisition at its most simple. HSN broadcasts live, 24 hours a day, 364 days a year (it goes dark on Christmas) to 93 million homes. Some 5 million people make at least one purchase every year; the best customers make six or seven more.
In order to attract more power shoppers, Grossman set out to persuade a whole new type of designer to create collections for HSN. Among those who have happily, if nervously, appeared on the network as a result of Grossman's coaxing are Naeem Khan, who designed the silver sequined gown Michelle Obama wore to the President's first state dinner, and Badgley Mischka, who dressed Helen Mirren in gray silk and organza for this year's Academy Awards. Grossman promised to protect them and their brands from ridicule and to present their clothes in sophisticated settings as she exposed them to an audience far greater than they could otherwise reach. She also charmed them. "It was the force of Mindy's personality and the changing economics that persuaded designers to work with HSN," says Christopher Marangi, a media analyst at Gamco Investors. "Her impact can't be underestimated."
Ever since Isaac Mizrahi signed on with Target (TGT) in 2003, all manner of luxury designers have collaborated with chains that cater to the masses. None of these partnerships compel the designers to engage so directly in the fundamental give and take of commerce as HSN does. "If they don't want to go on air, then they don't want to work with us—they're not passionate," Grossman says. "The whole idea is to bring more than just a product. It's to bring a voice. Their personality has to show through. I keep telling people that it's a trunk show in 93 million homes."
To court the fashion set, Grossman and Lynne Ronon, her head of merchandising, had to do some selling of their own. "I knew they would be concerned about their image," says Ronon, who was previously an executive at Burberry (BURBY) and Saks (SKS). At the beginning, meetings with potential designers were like job interviews for the HSN executives. Now, one recession and several well-publicized sold-out shows later, the power has shifted. "We say no more than we say yes," Ronon says.
Grossman asked Khan, whose sequined gowns can sell for $10,000, to create an exclusive collection for HSN in 2009. Khan then asked for the blessings of the heads of Saks and Bergdorf Goodman. "Luxury was in the doldrums," Khan says. "We were all asking: 'How do we keep our business going?' They need me as much as I need them. So they said, 'Fabulous. Just get a different name for the line.' "
For many of the designers Grossman has recruited, the stress is more acute and the concerns about image more pressing. They go on air anyway, having realized that in order to survive they must accommodate the marketplace. "Designers have to become more business-savvy, and that means tailoring assortments to specific retailers. They have to come to terms with that," says Kelly Tackett, a consultant at Kantar Retail.
When he launched Timeless by Naeem Khan on HSN in October 2009, Khan was apprehensive. "I'm not used to that kind of volume. I might [typically] cut 100 dresses, while they're buying 800, 1,000, 2,000 dresses. How am I going to sell all that?" In the first 10 minutes, 7 of the 10 styles of dresses, tops, and pants (priced $59.90 to $499.90) sold out. In his second appearance in March, Khan sold all 531 pieces of a silver sequin dress (price: $179.90) in 12 minutes. "The way I sell my clothes is the way I am with my wife and children," he says. "I race cars, cook, raise a family. Women love to hear that. You have a lot of pretentious designers out there. People buy your clothes because they like you."
When Grossman talks about her ambitions for HSN, she doesn't talk about a mere shopping channel. The experience, she insists, "could be empowering for the customer. She wouldn't just buy something; she would be inspired and engaged."
The source of that inspiration must be the style icons who appear on-screen. Grossman wants celebrities who are comfortable with the hustle of "sellavision," as some of them call it. She thought Williams would be a natural fit: "I knew Serena would love this and would be successful," says Grossman. "When she and Venus were kids, they used to pretend they were hosts on HSN. Even though she's a globetrotting athlete, her passion is fashion. One time I was talking her through all the fabric technology we had at Nike, and she said, 'Mindy, I really just care that it looks great.'"
Williams' selling coach at HSN's St. Petersburg (Fla.) studio is a lively executive named Christie Miranne-Seipelt who is priming her for her debut, a two-hour sale that begins at midnight. "Start with the bracelet. The up-sell is the matching necklace and earring set," says Miranne-Seipelt. She and her mother, Joy Mangano, a home shopping sensation in her own right, serve as the liaisons between Williams and HSN. Their goal is to match the tennis pro's more youthful, body-baring sensibilities with those of HSN's older, body-conscious shoppers.
A word about the bracelet: It's a woven metal and crystal cuff engraved with "Serena Williams First Anniversary 2010" (Williams launched her Signature Statement collection for HSN last April). It has been designated a "Today's Special," which means it will be mentioned or shown hundreds of times before Williams' visit is over. It's $29.95. "So, we're going to sell the bracelet with the necklace and earrings," says Williams.
"I want you to focus on the bracelet," says Miranne-Seipelt.
"You focus on the bracelet," Mangano says. "Connie [the HSN host] will weave in comments about the necklace and earrings. But the focus for you is the bracelet."
Williams tries out her pitch: "Wear it this way [with the clasp in front] and it's kind of rock and roll."
"You can talk to the fact that you're giving them a luxury look at such an affordable price," Miranne-Seipelt says. "Once these are gone, you're never making them again."
During each of Williams' five shows, Miranne-Seipelt watches the sales figures and gives instructions that the producer passes on to Williams and the host: "Go through the colors for the chiffon scarf. It's the last thing. The price is unbelievable [$19.95]. It feels like silk. The shrug feels like cashmere—lightweight cashmere. One thousand people have bought the jeans. Get those tonight. The dress is flattering on everyone. It's available in black, gray, cream. It was $99. Now it's $49.95. It's classic, it never goes out of style. Pick up the flats...."
The next day, after a two-hour sellathon that ends at noon, Williams lies curled up on the couch in the green room. She pulls a blanket over herself and mumbles, "Can someone get me something to eat?" She goes on: "These visits are getting harder and harder. At the beginning they were very easy. Now it's just not as easy." What's changed? "I don't know. It's like when you're first on tour, you're really eager to play the top players, you want to be the best, you're eager, eager. That's how I felt. Now I've played her, beaten her, let me relax."
During her 24-hour visit, HSN sold $3.25 million worth of products; Williams accounted for about one-third of it. The 1,900 pairs of jeans are gone. So are the maxi dresses. About half the shoes remain, though, and even Serena Williams couldn't sell all 15,000 bracelets. Thanks to her relationship with Grossman, she'll be back to sell another day.
Berfield is an associate editor at Bloomberg Businessweek.

subset: commoncrawl


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8 Ways NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell Is Wrong About the Lockout
A point-by-point rebuttal of the Wall Street Journal op-ed where he predicted Armageddon if the players win out in the league's labor dispute
Reuters/Jonathan Ernst
Be afraid, professional football fans. Be very afraid. Such is the message from NFL commissioner Roger Goodell, who in a recent Wall Street Journal editorial warns that the sport you know and love is about to set course for the center of the sun.
The reason? On Monday, U.S. District Judge Susan Richard Nelson ordered an immediate end to an owner-imposed lockout of the league's players, a ruling that: (a) gives the players a major victory in an ongoing, contentious battle over how to divide a $9 billion pie; (b) leaves the NFL vulnerable to antitrust litigation, including a lawsuit already filed on behalf of Tom Brady, Petyon Manning, and eight other players.
The second point haunts Goodell's piece, which presents two visions of pro football's future. One, sunshine and rainbows. The other, not so much. In the first vision, owners and players uphold the collectively bargained status quo and continue on their merry, prosperous way. (Never mind that players wanted to keep on keepin' on, while owners felt screwed by the NFL's previous CBA and initiated a lockout to leverage a bigger cut of league profits). In the second, league-wide rules related to terms of player employment—the draft, the salary cap, free agency, etc.—no longer apply, overturning the "carefully constructed system of competitive balance that makes NFL games and championship races so unpredictable and exciting." In short, pro football as The Day After Tomorrow.
Me? I'll take Armageddon.
Where Goodell sees disaster, I see opportunity; where he sees dusk, I see dawn. In his op-ed, the commissioner lists eight harmful consequences of a player court victory and subsequent NFL new world order. As a fan, I disagree with each. Here's why:
1. No draft: The. Horror. You mean I won't be subject to wall-to-wall prime-time television coverage, guessing-game mock drafts numbered and released like incremental software updates and breathless, year 'round reporting and speculation over what essentially amounts to writing the names of college football players on index cards, with the whole shebang essentially worthless the moment the draft concludes, since, you know, the actual professional football in question has yet to be played? Really?
(Note: briar patch protest reference goes here).
Blunt force hype and overkill coverage aside, there are better reasons to embrace a draft-free future. For one, the draft exists primarily to ensure competitive balance. Only it doesn't always do so. In theory, crummy teams are given first crack at incoming college players, a process that should improve said clubs over time. In practice, however, the draft is a crapshoot, what pigskin number-cruncher Doug Drinen of Pro-Football-Reference.com calls a "luckocracy." Prime picks are often busts; superstars are drafted late or not at all; a paper by two University of Chicago economists argues that in the current salary-capped, signing bonus-heavy system, high first-round picks are a liability compared to later first-and-second-rounders.
To put things another way: over the last decade, has the draft turned the New England Patriots into an also-ran? Has it made the Cincinnati Bengals a powerhouse?
Indeed, the NFL draft arguably makes bad teams worse by providing inept management the opportunity to invest greater sums into overrated college players ... who then are given multiple pro seasons to prove themselves and said management unworthy. Meanwhile, fans suffer—see San Francisco's Alex Smith, or the Detroit Lions under Matt Millen—and painfully wait for next year's draft, the way Charlie Brown waits for Lucy to re-tee the football.
A draft-free NFL, on the other hand, would be fairer to incoming players, both financially and in terms of professional opportunity. Salaries would be set by the highest bidder. Athletes could choose the situation that gives them the best chance to succeed. Suppose you're a strong-armed but immobile quarterback: do you really want to sign with a club that has a porous offensive line, the better to spend your rookie season getting tenderized like an old steak? Besides, teams still would be rewarded and punished for smart and dumb scouting decisions—maybe even more so—just as anyone operating in a competitive enterprise should be.
Oh, and as for all that aforementioned media hype? Admittedly, it's pretty fun. Imagine how much more fun the NFL offseason would be without a draft. Player selection and signing could take months. Wheeling, dealing and intrigue would be multiplied and amplified. Every day would be draft day! Mel Kiper Jr. would need to be cloned. And 24/7 draft coverage would come closer to making sense.
2. No minimum team payroll: As a player, I might find this potentially disturbing. (Though perhaps not: in a salary cap-free NFL, competitive pressure could cause effective salary floors to rise). Yet as a fan? Not my concern. Mostly because I'm not signing the checks.
Two other things to note: (a) on its own, front office penny-pinching does not ensure losing or unwatchable football - this year's Tampa Bay Bucs had a near-league low $93 million payroll yet won 10 games, while the Cleveland Browns spent $137 million to win half as many; (b) even parsimonious owners have incentive to spend enough money to be competitive, because a competitive team means increased ticket sales and television ratings.
3. No minimum player salary: Goodell warns that many players could earn "substantially less" than today's minimums. Again, as a fan, I don't care. If anything, lower minimum salaries might produce better games. Football requires maximum effort and minimal regard for one's safety. That is, hunger. And who plays the hungriest? Athletes angling for a bigger payday.
4-5. No standard guarantee to compensate players who suffer season-or-career-ending injuries AND no league-wide agreements on benefits: I'm lumping these together because they're basically the same thing. Thing is, pro football players and their families aren't particularly happy with their current level of league-funded health care, especially following retirement. Perhaps Goodell's Apocalypto would allow them to hash out better individual deals. If not, I can't say I'd be ecstatic to see NFLers dropped into the same free-market, grab-what-you-can, boo-hoo-if-you're-seriously-sick, see-you-in-personal-bankruptcy-court health care coverage pool the rest of America swims in every day. But I wouldn't turn off the television on Sundays, either.
(Hypothetical question: if the Buffalo Bills ended up moving to Toronto full-time, would Canada's health care system give them a competitive advantage in terms of wooing players?)
6. No limits on free agency: Uh-oh. No limits. Total anarchy! Inmates running the asylum! Goodell forebodingly writes, "players and agents would team up to direct top players to a handful of elite teams. Other teams, perpetually out of the running for the playoffs, would serve essentially as farm teams for the elites."
Um, no.
And no.
First: players and agents across sports—and in Hollywood, for that matter—do not team up to direct top talent to a select handful of elite buyers. By and large, they team up to secure the largest payday. Particularly in football, where careers are short and money isn't guaranteed. Then-NFL Defensive Player of the Year Albert Haynesworth didn't sign with Washington in 2009 because the 8-8 club was "elite." He signed because the Redskins handed him a gaze-upon-me-and-despair $100 million contract, complete with a $43 million signing bonus.
Of course, Washington's Haynesworth experiment didn't exactly work out as planned—ladies and gentlemen of the jury, please note Exhibit A—which brings me to the next point: Megabuck player acquisitions don't ensure on-field success. They don't even ensure a decent team. Under Isiah Thomas, the New York Knicks had the NBA's highest payroll. The club was an unmitigated, mishmashed disaster, a national laughingstock. In pro football, the Redskins annually are one of the biggest offseason winners—in terms of headlines generated and dollars appropriated—and one of the regular season's biggest disappointments.
By contrast, the NFL's current gold standard—the New England Patriots—began their dynastic run in 2001 by signing a dozen-plus unheralded, mid-level free agents. Non-elite team signs non-top players, wins Super Bowl. Does Goodell pay attention to his own league?
Also worth remembering: fans like star-studded, big-market glamour teams. They're polarizing. They attract love 'em, hate 'em attention. (See the Patriots, the Yankees, the Los Angeles Lakers, the Miami Heat). Moreover, star player movement also can be good for league business. (Again, see the Heat). Forget his own league; does Goodell pay attention to SportsCenter?
7. No league-wide rule limiting the length of training camp or required off-season workout obligations: I can only assume this one isn't directed at football fans, but rather at players who would prefer to spend their off-seasons bow hunting. On the other hand, isn't Brett Favre finally retired?
8. No league-wide testing program for drugs of abuse or performance-enhancing drugs: Ah ha ha ha ha ha. Ha. Ha.
As Goodell ominously puts it, "each club could have their own program—or not." Or not? You mean athletes who get mysteriously bigger, stronger, faster and more ripped year after year will no longer be subject to what is inarguably and indisputably the toughest performance-enhancing drug-policing program ever devised in sports?
Yes, it's truly hard to imagine what a juiced-up NFL would look like. As a football fan, I'm sure I'd turn away in sheer disgust. The same way Americans have stopped watching baseball.
All in all, this the doomsday scenario Goodell envisions: a league where the overblown, mostly unhelpful college draft is replaced by a fairer, more entertaining scramble; where championship competitiveness among clubs remains both possible and probable; where steroid use continues to be a wink-and-a-nod affair, only slightly less dishonest; and where an actual free market replaces a collusive, odious monopoly.
And I'm supposed to be scared? To paraphrase Michael Stipe: a player victory in the NFL's ongoing labor-management battle just may prove to be the end of pro football as we know it. But I feel fine.


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On some farm somewhere, our four chickens are currently sitting peacefully in their eggs under toasty heat lamps, without a care in the world. Come next week, they will be thrust into the harsh light of reality, then a day later tucked into a box and will likely travel the farthest they ever will in their little chicken lives to our home.
I'm getting stressed out just thinking about it.
We are really, really lucky in this whole chicken-rearing endeavor simply because, four days out of the week, I work from home. I've planned to go into the office on Monday of next week, and I've notified my co-workers that, sometime on Tuesday, Wednesday, or Thursday, I will get a phone call from the post office saying that they have a peeping box on their hands and asking me to please come pick it up. And that I will then be MIA for the rest of the day.
Still, though… my biggest fear is I will somehow manage to mess things up royally and irreversibly. This weekend, I'm going to be studying my chicken books, setting up the brooder, and probably getting massive rounds of butterflies in the stomach. THE CHICKENS ARE LANDING!
Enough of my neurosis and first-time-mother worries, though. Spring has officially sprung, and my hoop house, of which I was so proud, is hardly even needed in central Indiana this spring. While my first round of lettuces are surviving to varying degrees (i.e. half look like they're dying), the spinach and peas look quite well. We have a second and third round growing under lights in the office anyway, so I'm sure we will at least eat a LITTLE bit of lettuce and spinach this spring.
At some point this weekend, in between my obsessive re-researching of baby chicken care, I'm sure we will go on a bike ride to see all the amazing blooms.
And would you just look at those lovely little peas! The pea trellis is sticks from our yard and jute. Fancy, I know.
Go, peas, go!


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|Mini-breadboards or DIY ESP Development Board?
What do you do when you can't wait for cheap breadboards to arrive from China? Build a development board of course!
The picture shows the work of an afternoon, to make a dev-board for the ESP-12 "IO Adapter Plate Expansion" (ebay) soldered up last time, which inconveniently didn't fit any breadboards around the house.
The circuit is based on this one except that it's powered from the FTDI cable.
The following week the mini-breadboards arrived. Haven't used them yet!


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Note: Tickets are $20.00 advance (with $4.21 in fees), $25.00 (day of online with $4.49 in fees), $30.00 at door. There may also be a $1.00 handling fee. Seating is limited and "General Admission Only"...first come first serve only.
Emma Marie is 14 year singer-songwriter from Northern Colorado. She has appeared on Little Big Shots UK, Spring 2017. is endorsed by Daisy Rock Girl Guitars and is picking up steam all over Northern Colorado. Don't miss her open the show!
The Deep Pocket Thieves are comprised of singer-songwriters Jimmy Ayers on keys and slide guitar, and Larea Edwards on vocals and violin. the pair began writing together in 2015. The band includes Emmy award winning Mahlon Hawk on bass and percussion; Seth Bennett on drums and percussion; Kirby Velarde & Alissa Chesis on Guitar, Christin Grant on backing vocals and guests Sarah Hubbard on violin and Sammy Mayfield on guitars.
The band is currently picking up steam all over American radio charting with their newest release "Blue De"...which can be found in music stores, Amazon, itunes and more!
In Europe, New York and Los Angeles, rhythm and blues guitarist/vocalist Sammy Mayfield made a name for himself during a three-decade stint as the musical director for legendary soul and gospel shouter Solomon Burke. In Denver, where Mayfield was raised, he's one of the city's premier bluesmen who is loved and touted by all...Sammy Mayfield IS a true musical legend!!


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"Are you famous?"
Oh, gurl! That's what a woman so lovingly referred to by the Internet as "Old Lady"—at least until she was later identified as 67-year-old artist Ellen Grossman—asked Jay-Z when the rap supernova sat next to her on a Brooklyn-bound subway in September, footage of which was just released as part as a mini-documentary on the hip-hop star. The whole altercation is fairly adorable and the Internet is expectedly obsessed with it.
It's unclear what exactly tipped Grossman off to the fact that she was in the presence of a famous person. Was it the teeming entourage that flooded onto the train with him? Was it the posse of bodyguards staring her down? Perhaps it was the documentary film crew pointing a camera at his face, or the horde of gawkers trying to snap photos with their iPhones. What is clear, however, is that it was not staring into the eyes of Beyoncé's husband, one of the most recognized faces in the world, and one of the most successful musicians of the past two decades, that clued her in to the fact she was chit-chatting with a demigod.
The Internet was alternately charmed and flabbergasted by Ms. Grossman's ignorance. Surely, being an Old Lady should be no excuse not to recognize His H.O.V.A. Highness. This is Jay-Z! The Blueprint! "Empire State of Mind!" Barclay's Center! In order to prevent future calamities such as this, we thought it best to offer a simple tip sheet: The Old People's Guide to Jay-Z.
First, to answer Grossman's question, for the love of god, yes, this guy is famous. According to Forbes, Jay earned $38 million last year, and at the top of 2012 was worth a reported $460 million. These days when people joke about lifestyles of the rich and famous, they are explicitly referring to him. His worth and notoriety, of course, exponentially increase when one considers that he is married to one of the only working music stars who is more famous than he: Beyoncé. Together, they are unfairly beautiful, unfairly rich, and unfairly famous, but so goshdarned flawless that most people only harbor faint pangs of jealousy.
In January, the couple welcomed their first child, Blue Ivy. Mass hysteria ensued. It was as if the messiah had returned; in fact, multiple news outlets referred to the child as the messiah, and, really, only half-jokingly. A Twitter record (please, you must have heard about the Twitter by now) for most tweets-per-second was set when the birth was announced, breaking the previous record set when the pregnancy was announced. This baby was a Big Deal. The frenzy surrounding the royal pregnancy is pathetic by comparison. Blue Ivy is our princess. Your princess.
Also, Beyoncé and Jay are BFFs—that stands for Best Friends Forever—with the Obamas. When the couple was expecting Blue Ivy, the president gave him advice on how to be a good dad. The internet went wild when that happened. It was everywhere. Obama even cracked once that he was just like Jay-Z: "We both have daughters and our wives are more popular than we are." Shortcut guide to Jay-Z: he and Barack Obama are the same.
Oh yeah, he makes music, too. A lot of music. Sure, it's the kind of music a lot of you call "noise" and "trash" and think is reserved for "whippersnappers" and "hooligans," but using that as an excuse not to recognize one of the century's most influential artists—yep, I said it!—is kind of as tragic as a teen these days not recognizing a photo of Elvis Presley, or knowing who Mozart is. Since recording his first record in 1995, the Brooklyn native has released 16 albums, sold 50 million copies, and won 14 Grammy awards. He's kind of a big deal.
And his music is kind of awesome. Sure, tracks like "Can I Getta…" or "Big Pimpin," and especially "Niggas in Paris," contain what may be considered—OK, definitely considered—explicit language, but Jay's best songs contain hooks as masterfully catchy as the best Beatles pop tunes and lyrics that are exquisitely clever. Besides that, his music is absolutely everywhere. Have you gone to the grocery store any time in the past three years? Then you've heard his anthem "Empire State of Mind," and you've probably heard it more than 4,000 times. You probably know every word to it. The lyrics have been steadily embedded into your consciousness, one trip to Gristedes at a time.
Even those who are not fans of his hip-hop beats can appreciate Jay-Z, musical theater enthusiast. He single-handedly brought Broadway to the ghetto, accomplishing the astounding feat of getting teenage thugs around the country to sing a song from Annie when he sampled "Hard Knocked Life" in his own "Hard Knock Life (Ghetto Anthem)." Jay's fondness for the precocious orphan with the hideous red afro even persists. In the summer it was announced that he would work on an updated score to the musical for a new movie set to begin shooting next spring.
But the best thing about Jay-Z, and a key part of this fame that is apparently so huge that an entire blogosphere is fascinated by an unassuming elderly artist who can't quite place his face, is that the guy is so appealingly down to earth. He's riding the subway to his concert in Brooklyn. Have you been on a subway to Brooklyn? It's awful. Sure, his mere presence in the underground hellhole, massive entourage in tow, actually creates an incredible inconvenience for commuters, but it's so cool that Jay's down there with us plebians that no one is even remotely disturbed. Jay-Z's not just famous, he's cool.
Of course, this whole hullabaloo ignores the fact that this Old Lady actually did know who he is. Once Jay finally gives Ms. Grossman his full stage name, Jay-Z, she exuberantly says, "Oh, you're Jay-Z! I know about Jay-Z." Many of you probably know about Jay-Z. He's Jay-Z!
So next time you see him on the subway, give him the proper respect. Bow down. Tip your hat. Curtsy. Or, better yet, continue feigning ignorance. Because this video of An Old Lady Meeting Jay-Z may truly be the cutest thing ever.


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The kenrg presents... blog has moved locations. This is now the archives. For new videos, please click here!
The balcony scene from Romeo and Juliet... (Additional dialogue by William Shakespeare.)
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I've been replaced (again)! This time, my replacement is a computer animated vlog-bot. But he gets good guests. Here, my vlog-bot (the Kenrg 3000) interviews Bill Clinton:
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And, just for fun, here's the test video I did about being replaced:
We're all adults here, right? We've all gotten a traffic ticket or two, right? Well, here's the stories of two different times I was pulled over for moving violations. One experience went much better than the other. (This is a reply to the fabulous CaptainFury).


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Sp. viaje ~ Eng. voyage, and the Latin root vi-
3 Lat. vĭa, vĭātĭcum, and other related words
Let us look now in more detail at the source of Sp. viaje and Eng. voyage, namely Latin vĭātĭcum 'travel money, travel provisions'. This noun was derived from the neuter form of the adjective vĭātĭcus 'of or belonging to a road or journey' (feminine: vĭātĭca, neuter: vĭātĭcum). This adjective was derived from the Lt. vĭa, which has given us Spanish vía, a word that means 'road, way', but also 'street', 'lane' and, in the modern context of trains, 'track' and 'line'. However, although the meanings of vía and viaje are obviously related, they are so far removed from each other today that speakers probably do not recognize the connection unless it is pointed out to them.
The Latin feminine word vĭa, pronounced [ˈwɪ.a], contained the root vĭ‑ (genitive vĭae, accusative vĭam). Latin vĭa meant literally 'way, road, street, path', but it was also used figuratively, with the sense 'way, method, manner', and even with the sense 'journey'. Roman roads had the word vĭa in their names, such as the famous Via Appia that connected Rome with Brindisi, known in Spanish as Vía Apia and in English as Appian Way. Major streets in Spanish sometimes still use this word, such as the Gran Vía in Bilbao, Spain. As you can see, English way is used to translate Lat. vĭa in this context, since in road names, Eng. way means 'a road, track, path, or street' (COED).
Figure 124: Via Appia in ancient Rome[i]
English has borrowed the Latin word via, spelled also via and pronounced [ˈvaɪ̯.ə] or [ˈvi.ə], as a preposition with the sense of 'by way of', as in I'm travelling to London via New York. Spanish vía [ˈbi.a] can be used in the exact same way, as in Vine vía París 'I came by way of Paris'. Spanish also uses the noun vía with a similar meaning of conveyance in the phrase por vía…, as in por vía hereditaria 'through heredity', por vía terrestre 'by land/surface (mail)' (= por tierra), por vía aérea 'by air (mail)' (= por avión), por vía electrónica 'by/via email or electronically', por vía satélite 'by satellite' (= por satélite), etc.
The source of Latin vĭa has been reconstructed as Proto-Italic *wijā, meaning 'road'. Some think that Lat. via and Eng. way are related. This is not due to English having borrowed it from Latin, as one might have thought, but rather, to the two languages having inherited it from their ancestor languages, going all the way to Proto-Indo-European. It doesn't seem that the two words descend from the exact same Proto-Indo-European word, but they may share a root, going all the way to Proto-Indo-European verbal root *weǵʰ‑ which meant 'to bring, to transport'. In Table 166 you can see the descendants of this root in English and Spanish. As you can see, the exact sourceword of Lat. via, that is, what derived form of PIE *weǵʰ‑ it comes from, is not exactly known.
Extended PIE root
Modern reflexes or derived words
*wéǵʰ-e- (root present)
PGmc. *weganą 'to carry', 'to weigh'
Eng. weigh, weight
Lat. vehĕre 'to carry, transport'
Sp. vehículo, Eng. vehicle
*woǵʰ-éye- (causative)
PGmc. *wagjaną 'to shake, etc.'
Eng. wedge
PGmc. *wegaz 'way, path'
Eng. way
PGmc. *wagnaz 'cart, wagon'
Eng. wain 'four-wheel cart'[1]
PItal. *wijā
Sp. vía (< Lat. via)
As we can see in Table 166, the PIE root *weǵʰ‑ may be at the core of the Latin noun via, just like it is at the core of the English word way. There is, however, another theory that says that it comes Proto-Indo-European *wih₁eh₂‑, from the root *weyh₁‑ 'to pursue, be strong'. Eng. way is a patrimonial word that descends from a Germanic verbal root that 'originally refers to carrying, bearing loads, and hence transportation' (OED) and which definitely goes back to PIE *weǵʰ‑. Actually, way in Old English was spelled weg and had not changed that much from the original form of the word in Proto-Indo-European. Although, as we saw, Eng. way can translate as 'road, etc.' in place names, its main meaning today is 'a method, style, or manner of doing something' (COED), as in I did it my way, a meaning that is very similar to one of the derived, figurative meanings of Latin vĭa.
The same PIE root *weǵʰ‑ is at the core of the Latin verb vĕhĕre 'to carry, to transport' (principal parts: vĕho, vĕhĕre, vĕxi, vĕctum). Although this verb has not made it into English or Spanish, a number of verbs and nouns derived from it have, such as the cognates Eng. vehicle and Sp. vehículo. The following are the descendants of this verb, some of which are cognates:[2]
- Eng. vehicle ['vi.ə.kəl] ~ Sp. vehículo [be.ˈi.ku.lo] < Lat. vĕhĭcŭlum (vĕh-ĭ-cŭl-um) 'a means of transport, a carriage, conveyance, vehicle', a noun that seems to contain the diminutive suffix ‑cŭl‑, derived from the verb vĕhĕre 'to carry, transport' (cf. Table 166); English and Spanish borrowed these words in the 17th century through Fr. véhicule, which borrowed it from Latin first, in the mid-16th century.
- Eng. inveigh [ɪn.ˈveɪ̯] 'to criticize someone or something strongly'; a 15th century loan that originally meant 'to carry oneself in against'; its current meaning is from the 16th century. The source is Lat. invĕhī 'to be borne, carry oneself, or go into, to attack, to assail with words' (OED), present passive infinitive of invĕhĕre 'to carry or bear to or into, bring in' (OED); cf. obsolete Sp. invehír 'hacer o decir invectivas contra alguien' (DLE)
- Eng. invective ~ Sp. invectiva, both nouns meaning 'abusive or highly critical language' (COED); these nouns come from the Late Latin adjective invĕctīvus 'attacking; reproachful, abusive' (in‑vĕct‑īv‑us) < Latin invĕctus (in‑vĕct‑us), passive participle of invĕhī (see above)
- Eng. vector [ˈvɛk.təɹ] ~ Sp. vector [bek.ˈt̪oɾ]; in biology, these words mean 'an organism that transmits a particular disease or parasite from one animal or plant to another', etc. (COED); in mathematics and physics, they mean 'a quantity having direction as well as magnitude, especially as determining the position of one point in space relative to another' (COED); they are loanwords from Lat. vector 'carrier, one who carries or conveys; one who rides', a word derived from vect‑(us) (stem of the passive participle of vehĕre 'to carry') + ‑ōr‑ (agent suffix); cf. the derived adjectives Eng. vectorial [vɛk.ˈtɔ.ɹɪə̯l] ~ Sp. vectorial [bek.t̪o.ˈɾi̯al], derived in the modern languages from the noun by the Latinate suffix ‑al that comes from the third declension Latin adjectival suffix ‑āl‑ (in other words, there was no adjective *vertorialis in Latin)
As we said earlier, the Latin noun vĭa has survived into Spanish as vía, but its primary meaning today is not 'road' or 'street' as it once was, since that sense has been replaced by words like camino, a word that means 'path, track', 'way, route', and even figuratively, 'way' (Sp. camino is a word of Celtic origin). If a Spanish speaker hears the word vía out of context today, she will probably think first of the meaning '(train) track', as in la vía del tren 'the train track', often in the plural las vías 'the (train) tracks'. Spanish vía is used in certain phrases with a meaning close to the original one, such as salirse de la vía 'to get off the lane' or 'to get off the tracks' (the meaning 'to get off the road/pavement' could be expressed as salirse de la calzada).
The Spanish word vía is found 'embedded' in numerous words, such as viaje 'trip', viajar 'to travel', which we have already seen. The word viajero 'traveler' also belongs to this family since it is derived from the verb. Another related word is viandante 'pedestrian, passerby', which goes back to the 13th or 14th century. It is formed from vía and andante 'walking, walker', present participle of the verb andar 'to walk'. Perhaps because of the rarity of the noun vía, most speakers probably would not make a connection between these derived words and the noun vía.
A pair of cognates derived from Latin vĭa is Eng. viaduct ~ Sp. viaducto, which mean 'a long bridge-like structure, typically a series of arches, carrying a road or railway across a valley or other low ground' (COED). Actually, the word viaduct was created in English, in 1816, on the pattern of the word aqueduct (cf. Sp. acueducto), derived from Latin noun aquaeductus, from the phrase aquae ductus 'conveyance of water', borrowed from Latin into English in the 16th century. This Latin word was formed out of the genitive aquae of the noun root aqu‑ 'water' (cf. Sp. patrimonial agua) and the noun ductus 'conveyance, conducting, leading', from the past participle of the Latin verb dūcĕre 'to lead, guide, etc.' (cf. Part II, Chapter 12). Spanish borrowed (and adapted) the word viaducto from English in the mid-19th century.
A pair of cognates that is derived from Lat. vĭa, in Latin, not the modern languages, is the adjective trivial, pronounced [t̪ɾi.ˈβi̯al] in Spanish and [ˈtʰɹɪ.vɪə̯ɫ] in English. The English word is first attested in the late 16th century and it may have come through Fr. trivial, which seems to have borrowed it from Latin a few decades earlier. These learned loanwords come ultimately from the Latin adjective trĭvĭālis, meaning 'that may be found everywhere, common, commonplace, vulgar, ordinary, trivial' (L&S) or, originally, 'of or belonging in the crossroads' (trĭ‑vĭ‑āl‑is).
The Latin adjective trĭvĭālis is derived by means of the third declension adjectival suffix ‑āl‑ from the noun trĭvĭum 'a place where three roads meet, a fork in the roads, cross-road' (L&S), from tri‑ 'three' and the root vĭ‑ of the noun via 'road, way', plus the inflection ‑um (trĭ‑vĭ‑um, trĭ-vĭ-āl-is). Thus, the original meaning of the adjective trivĭālis was 'of or pertaining to the crossroads', but it came to mean something like 'public', and hence 'commonplace, ordinary', and from here to the meaning 'insignificant, trifling' in English and Spanish, in the late 16th century for English, and a bit later for Spanish.[3]
The root vía is also found in the Spanish adverb todavía, which means 'still' in affirmative sentences and 'yet' in negative ones, e.g. Todavía vivo aquí 'I still live here', Todavía no hemos llegado 'We haven't arrived yet'. This word clearly contains the feminine adjective toda 'all' and the noun vía 'road' and (in earlier times) 'manner, way'. The current meaning of the word, however, is totally different from what the meaning of those component words would suggest. It is safe to say that native speakers today do not realize that the word vía is 'inside' the word todavía, given the lack of semantic transparency of this compound. There are dialectal variants of the word todavía in Spain, the most common one being probably entodavía, used in western Spain.
The word todavía is equivalent in its composition to the English word always, which contains very similar parts: all and ways (actually, the English word always is the genitive form of an earlier alway). Furthermore, originally Sp. todavía also meant 'always, constantly, in every situation'. The source of this word is to be found in Vulgar Latin, since other Romance languages also have this expression, such as the Italian conjunction tuttavia 'however, nevertheless, still, yet' (in earlier times, It. tuttavia also meant 'always' and 'in every way', just like in Medieval Spanish).
The word todavía seems to have its origin in the Latin phrase tōta vĭa, which is in the ablative case and meant, literally, 'through any road, by any means, in all circumstances, etc.' This expression is found, for example, in the Latin expression tota via errare 'to be completely mistaken'. Eventually, this phrase became an adverb in Vulgar Latin with the meaning 'always, in every way'. Only in Spanish did the reflex of this phrase develop the meaning it has now much later. The English expression always may have been a calque of the Latin phrase tōta vĭa, though there is no clear evidence for that.
In Spanish, todavía changed its meaning starting in the 15th century and it became synonymous with the adverb aún that meant 'still'/'yet'. These two words, todavía and aún, are synonymous today when used as adverbs. It is a meaning change that Spanish shares with Asturleonese, the language spoken to the west of the Castilian area. Note that Sp. aún has another sense that todavía does not have. It can mean 'even', as in aún así 'even so' or ni aún así 'not even then', a sense synonymous with incluso (cf. aunque 'even though', followed by indicative tensens, and 'even if', followed by subjunctive tenses). It is often used with a gerund, as in the phrase aún teniendo esto en cuenta 'even taking this into account'.
The noun vía is also found in recently created collocations, such as de dos vías 'two-way', as in calle de dos vías 'two-way street' and radio de dos vías 'two-way radio', which is probably a calque of the English expression. Finally, the word vía also shows up in one borrowing or, rather calque from English, namely the word tranvía 'streetcar, tram, tramway; short-distance train', from English tramway. This English word is derived from the word tram, used primarily in Great Britain, meaning 'streetcar', but also 'a cable car, especially one suspended from an overhead cable', and in earlier times, 'a four-wheeled, open, box-shaped wagon or iron car run on tracks in a coal mine' (AHD).
Finally, let us look at a pair of cognates that are learned loanwords from the very Latin word from which Sp. viaje and Eng. voyage come from, namely the source of Lat. vĭātĭcum, which originally meant 'travelling-money, provision for a journey', but which also acquired other meanings such as 'money made by a soldier in the wars, savings, prize-money' and 'money to pay the expenses of one studying abroad'. The source word for this noun is the Latin adjective vĭātĭcus (feminine: vĭātĭca; neuter: vĭātĭcum). This word was first of all an adjective formed with the 'new' Latin suffix vĭātĭcus (vĭ‑ātĭc‑us) and which meant 'of or belonging to a road or journey'.
English borrowed the adjective vĭātĭcus as viatic in the mid-17th century, with the meaning 'of or having to do with travel', though the word is quite rare. Another version of this English borrowed adjective is viatical, which is like viatic but with the Latinate adjectival suffix ‑al added to it, something that English often did with borrowed adjectives ending in ‑ic (‑icus/‑ica/‑icum in Latin). Spanish never borrowed this adjective.
English also borrowed the noun viaticum from Church Latin (also known as Ecclesiastical Latin) in the mid-16th century. In Cristianity this word means 'the Eucharist given to a dying person or one in danger of death' (AHD), which is to prepare an individual for that trip beyond life that Christians belive in. The Spanish equivalent of this Eng. viaticum is viático, a word that was borrowed into Spanish probably in the 17th century. As you can see, Spanish modified the inflection to make it match the patrimonial ‑o ending of Spanish masculine words. The noun viático is also used in Spanish with the meaning 'provisions or money for a trip' and, in some dialects, 'money given for performing some activity'. The plural form viáticos is used in Spanish, particularly in American Spanish, to mean 'travel allowance'. These uses reflect the uses that the word had in Latin.
[1] English wain is today archaic. It descends from Old English wægn 'wheeled vehicle, wagon, cart'. This word has been replaced by the word wagon, which is a loanword from Middle Dutch wagen or waghen, a cognate of the Old English word (and thus of Eng. wain). Spanish vagón is a 19th century loanword from English wagon (though French). The only sense that Spanish vagón borrowed from the English word is the British English sense of 'railway truck' ('a railway freight vehicle; a truck', COED). The other major sense of Eng. wagon, 'a vehicle, especially a horse-drawn one, for transporting goods' (COED), translates into Spanish as carro (a cart drawn by animals) or carromato (if the cart is covered).
[2] Some words look like they might be related to this Latin root, but they are not. Eng. provide ~ Sp. proveer come from Lat. prōvidēre 'to provide for' (from the root vid‑ 'to see'), not from prōvehere, which meant 'to carry on, carry forward, advance, promote, etc.' Also not related to vehĕre are Sp. provecho ~ Eng. profit, which come from Lat. profectus, from past participle of proficĕre 'make progress, to profit' (< prō‑ 'forward' + facĕre 'to make'), and Eng. evict (related to the very rare Sp. evicción,), from evincĕre 'to overcome and expel, conquer, etc.' (<ex‑ 'out' + vincĕre 'to conquer').
[3] In Medieval Latin, the word trĭvĭum was used to refer to 'the lower division of the seven liberal arts in medieval schools, consisting of grammar, logic, and rhetoric' (AHD), and this word has been borrowed into English and Spanish with just that sense. After completion of the trivium, students went on to study the quadrivium, 'the higher division of the seven liberal arts in the Middle Ages, composed of geometry, astronomy, arithmetic, and music' (AHD). In Latin, th word quādrĭvĭum meant 'a place where four ways meet, a crossway, cross-road' (L&S).
[i] Source: Pierers Universal-Conversations-Lexikon. Neuestes Encycklopädisches Wörterbuch, by Heinrich August Pierer, 1891; public domain; scanned by Immanuel Giel 12:39, 31 May 2005 (UTC); https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:ViaAppia.jpg (accessed: 2018.11.11)
[ii] Source: https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Appendix:Proto-Indo-European/we%C7%B5%CA%B0- and links to related pages thereof; cf. also http://www.utexas.edu/cola/centers/lrc/ielex/X/P2108.html


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Princeton University faculty pianist Francine Kay will perform the opening concert of the third season of Drake University's Keys to Excellence Piano Series, which raises awareness of Drake's fundraising efforts for the purpose of purchasing 70 brand new Yamaha pianos for the music department.
Kay's performance begins at 7:30 p.m. Monday, October 26, in Sheslow Auditorium, 2507 University Ave. The concert is free and open to the public.
Noted for innately original and artistic interpretations, Canadian pianist Francine Kay has performed extensively as a soloist and chamber musician in Europe, North America and Asia, at venues such as Carnegie Hall, Weill Recital Hall, Lincoln Center, Salle Gaveau, The National Gallery, Roy Thomson Hall, The Dame Myra Hess Memorial Concerts, and Bargemusic. She has been soloist with the Toronto Symphony, the Princeton Symphony, New York's West Side Chamber Orchestra, the Manitoba Chamber Orchestra, the Orchestra London, among others, under conductors Georg Tintner, Mark Laycock, Nurhan Arman, Agnes Grossman, Kevin Mallon, Jonathan Yates, and Simon Streatfeild. Her recordings of Debussy, Ravel, and Satie, on the Analekta and Audio Ideas label have received international acclaim. Her performances have been broadcast on NPR, the BBC, WFMT, Radio France, and the CBC.
Francine Kay is a regular guest faculty artist at the Zodiac Festival and Academy in France, the International Course of Interpretation at the Chopin State School in Nowy Sacz, Poland, and the Icicle Creek International Chamber Music Festival.
Ms. Kay has performed at the Banff, Orford, Saratoga Performing Arts Center, Newport, and Music Mountain Festivals. Kay made her New York debut at Carnegie Hall's Weill Recital Hall as winner of the New York Pro Piano Competition. She received her Bachelors and Masters degrees at the Juilliard School studying with Adele Marcus, the Artist Diploma from the Glenn Gould School, and she received her Doctor of Musical Arts from SUNY Stony Brook under Gilbert Kalish. Her significant mentors include Leon Fleisher, Gyorgy Sebok, and Marek Jablonski.
The Keys to Excellence Series brings internationally acclaimed artists to perform on the Yamaha CFX concert grand at Drake University. The series is sponsored by Yamaha, West Music, Civic Music Association, and Drake University. For more information, contact Nicholas Roth at 515-321-5947 or email@example.com
OCTOBER 26: Francine Kay – Princeton University
NOVEMBER. 30: Nicholas Roth – Drake University
FEBRUARY 8: Nicholas Phillips – University of Wisconsin Eau Claire
MARCH 28: Ani Gogova
APRIL 18: Daniel Shapiro – Cleveland Institute of Music.
All performances begin at 7:30 p.m. in Sheslow Auditorium and are free and open to the public.


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The majority of hospitals are not assessing their own performance accurately, according to a Panorama investigation. The BBC documentary, aired last night, found that 60 per cent of inspected hospitals in England were providing misleading performance assessments.
The programme makers say that they based their findings on figures from the government's own health regulator, the Care Quality Commission (CQC). The CQC told them that no self assessment was "ever accepted at face value" after discrepancies were found between hospital-provided information and its own findings.
Checks revealed that three out of the four core areas were misreported in Peterborough, Southport and Ormskirk. Two out of four core areas were misreported in East Cheshire, Maidstone, Medway, West Hertfordshire, Weston area and Mid Staffordshire.
Last month, an inquiry into Stafford Hospital by medical intelligence company Dr Foster reported patients had been caused "unimaginable distress and suffering" as a result of "appalling" care. However the BBC documentary revealed the hospital had rated itself as 'fair' for most of the time.
Health minister Mike O'Brien said the way hospitals are rated and monitored is being changed: The system "was flawed and that's why we have changed it. And that is why we are now in a position where we don't rely on self assessment… it is subject to a whole series of checks."
The CQC said a more rigorous checking system will come into force in April. A spokesman told the BBC: "We will be using our data sources to monitor trusts' performance on a continual, even day-to-day basis, and we will have the flexibility to carry out announced checks whenever we feel there is a particular concern."
Impetus Digital has offered virtual advisory boards, clinical trial investigator consortiums, co-author publication working groups, steering committees, and medical education...


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iKeyMonitor is a spy app, which allows to track the target device in undetectable way. It is a product of Amobile Spy which is one of the departments of Awosoft Technology Co., that was founded in 2005. With such spying app you can easily monitor your children's cell phone and discover all the truth in order to protect them from potential dangers.
What makes iKeyMonitor a front-runner spy application?
In simple words, iKeyMonitor has been considered to be one of the most reliable and productive monitoring applications so far. The list of its abilities can't but impress, the ease of use and customization makes it super-accessible, and well-thought-out support and refund policy turn iKeyMonitor into a second-to-none spying program.
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As any other spying application, iKeyMonitor includes features to track SMS and calls made on the target device. You can monitor the activities on numerous social media platforms and popular messengers, including WhatsApp and Line. Moreover, you have access to the pictures and photos, as well as videos saved on the target platform. The observation of the files sent on "external" resources is also included to the general functionality. All in all, iKeyMonitor has all common tracking and monitoring functions like:
- SMS and calls monitoring;
- Social platforms tracking (Facebook, Instagram, etc.);
- GPS tracking;
- Keylogger.
To get a deeper insight what benefits you will achieve when using the application to the full extent, check out the iKeyMonitor features here: ikeymonitor.com/features.
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The Schedule feature is a unique feature of the application. With its help, you can set limits for screen time, as well as set specific schedules for Surrounding Recording.
Moreover, you can control what games and applications a target user downloads. If there is something dangerous or unacceptable on the device, you can simply block such program. This feature is a lifesaver for parental control and allows protecting children from the negative impact of modern virus solutions, etc.
Discreet and Tamper-Proof Monitoring is a feature that confirms the safe use of iKeyMonitor. It allows you to check and maintain the authorized access to the application.
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iKeyMonitor Support has the following options: Ticket (e-mail) or Live-Chat support. To note, Live Chat support is accessible 24/7. This service increases the chances to resolve your case in the nearest time possible.
Besides, there is also a FAQ section, where you can find answers to your spying questions. Those people who have already bought this tracker can use User Guide. Moreover, the website has several language versions, so you can easily read the necessary information in any language you prefer. There is also Spy Software Forum to discuss anything with existing customers.
As the icing on the cake, iKeyMonitor possesses several tutorials on how to install and use their product. In this perspective, the learning curve is simplified as much as possible.
iKeyMonitor Pricing Policy
First of all, iKeyMonitor is a rare example of spying programs available for free and completely safe to use. Naturally, the paid plans offer customers much more tracking and monitoring opportunities. Before purchasing iKeyMonitor, you can try it for free within the first days of use and decide whether you need the extra functionality, as well as whether it is a perfect match for your needs.
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The manufacturer provides users with a discount system when they choose a 12 months subscription. To get more information about the solution's pricing policy and features included in packages, do not hesitate to visit their website.
Platforms to use iKeyMonitor
Unlike many other spying applications, iKeyMonitor is multi-compatible. Overall, iKeyMonitor is compatible with any Jailbroken device. You can use this solution on iPhone and Android. Moreover, it is compatible with Mac and Windows platforms. To find out more details about the program's compatibility, check out the link: ikeymonitor.com/compatibility.
Installation Guide: How to install iKeyMonitor
Overall, the installation of iKeyMonitor is a fast and easy process. In order to install this spying solution successfully, you need to follow the next steps:
The first thing to do is to turn off Google Play Protection. This step is to be done to prevent the flagging of the application. After the iKeyMonitor installation, you can change the notifications in the settings section.
Now it's high time to download the monitoring program. For that, find iKeyMonitor official website in a browser, sign up for a free account, and log in to the Cloud Panel.
Here we come to the installation itself. Now you are to open the downloaded installer, allow the installation, and open the application after the process is finished. Do not forget to allow the permissions that pop up.
The installation is done. Now you have to configure the program to ensure it functions in a background mode and can't be detected. For that, exclude iKeyMonitor from Battery optimization, as well as enable Notification and Usage Access. Please, remember to delete the web history and the downloaded installer.
The final step is to login to the Cloud Panel. This is your so-called iKeyMonitor account, where you have access to all monitored and tracked data.
In general, the installation of iKeyMonitor takes up to ten minutes, but not more.
Refund Policy: How It Works
One of the reasons to choose iKeyMonitor is the refund policy. The manufacturer offers 30-Day Money-Back Guarantee. That means your account will be refunded back, if the program does not function properly within the first month after purchase. However, if you have problems or issues with iKeyMonitor, please, do not hesitate to contact their support team: they are always there to help you. The refund policy is valid in the cases when manufacturer can't solve the problem occured.
Are jailbreak/ rooting a must-have for a proper performance of iKeyMonitor?
Overall, iKeyMonitor is able to function on devices which are jailbroken and rooted and vice versa. The only difference lies in the list of available functions. For instance, to use advanced iKeyMonitor features on Android devices, the target device should be rooted. In order to get a clearer understanding of how iKeyMonitor performs in these modes, follow the link: keymonitor.com/compatibility.
Can I track keystrokes on iPhone/ Android with iKeyMonitor?
Yes, this functionality is included to the list of advanced abilities of iKeyMonoitor.
iKeyMonitor is a multifunctional solution for parental control, employees' guidance, etc. You can use it to find out the stolen device and prevent many problems and damages caused by active use of the internet and platforms for communication (cyber-safety, protection from predators, and much more). iKeyMonitor offers a wide list of abilities which efficiency can't but surprise and please. Thousands of users around the globe trust iKeyMonitor for a reason. Go for this spying application and protect your relatives and friends!
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Rune Summary
Latest Updates
Human Head reveals new information about Rune 2
Developer Human Head has revealed more plans for the sequel to their third-person Unreal engine brawler Rune. According to co-founder Ted Halsted, the sequel will modernize the combat system and stress multiplayer more.
Rumor: Rune sequel teased by Human Head
Human Head was allegedly forced to cancel their ambitious Prey 2, which would have set the game in a Blade Runner-ish alien space station. However, they've now started teasing the development of a sequel to their 2000 third person action title Rune. The developer at the time was a part of the infamous Gathering of Developers.


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1. Portsmouth: Historic Dockyard Ultimate Explorer Ticket
Visit the exhibitions at the Historic Dockyard in Portsmouth in any order you want, and at any time you want within a year. Family and individual entries are available. Explore historic ships, including Lord Nelson's world-famous flagship HMS Victory, Queen Victoria's HMS Warrior, the First World War's HMS M.33 and the new Horrible Histories Pirates exhibition. Marvel at Henry VIII's Tudor warship the Mary Rose, which is now included in the all-in-one ticket for 2021. Take the complimentary waterbus to Gosport and explore the Cold War submarine, HMS Alliance. Take a Harbour Tour to cruise around Portsmouth Harbour and see the ships of the modern Royal Navy.


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The catholic church joins the rest of the world in commemorating the world day for the sick. In the spirit of Jesus cited in the sacred scriptures in his very words of commissioning to the disciple to go and proclaim the good news, teach and baptise and serve, the Catholic diocese of Mangochi arranged for 24thFebruary, 2018 to be a special day for the sick in the diocese (Mk.16:15).
A colourful liturgical function that began with a solemn mass led by His Lordship Montfort Stima took place at Mulibwanji Hospital (Masuku Parish) in Mangochi. The function that was attended by some patients, hospital staff, religious and secular leaders, government officials, Christians and Moslems
saw Bishop Stima blessing and praying for patients during the Mass. After the prayer session, a special meal was served to all patients and assorted items were given to patients such as food and sundries. Some patients were bailed out of their medical bills.
Speaking on the occasion, the matron at the hospital thanked the church for having thought of having hospital chaplaincy as an important part in the administration of health facilities in the diocese. 'This is an indicator of living the gospel', she said. The activities of this day were organized by the office of the chaplain and an organized team from various stakeholders led by Fr. Ephraim Mkamalisya who is the Hospital chaplain in the catholic diocese of Mangochi.


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5 Books You Should Read in 2016
One More Day by Kelly Simmons
One More Day is one of the fascinating thrillers to look for in 2016, as it deals with the mysterious disappearing of a child from the backseat of his mother's car. Carrie Morgan has to deal with the disappearance of her son as best as she can, only to discover that several months after having vanished, he's come back home. The return lasts for just twenty-four hours, leaving Carrie feeling baffled and shattered to the bone. Once a week has gone by, Carrie has faced several events that all involve a grim secret. She eventually has to choose between finding out about what happened to her son and revealing certain details of her past.
Expected date of publication: February 1st, 2016
Outrun the Moon by Stacey Lee
Outrun the Moon is set at the beginning of the 20th century in San Francisco, where a fifteen-year-old Mercy Wong struggles to find her way out of poverty. She's determined to leave Chinatown and start living the good life, especially since she has recently been accepted to a high-class School for Girls. Getting in might be easy, but staying in is difficult.
The book deals with the social challenges of the first part of the 20th century in the United States and even features a historic earthquake that rocks San Francisco and the nearby area. With such diverse characters and an exceptional historical backdrop, Outrun the Moon might be worth considering if you're willing to buy new books this year.
Expected date of publication: May 24th, 2016
A Study in Charlotte by Brittany Cavallaro
A Study in Charlotte is clearly something else. Brittany Cavallaro manages to combine humor with mystery in this amazing Sherlock Holmes retelling. The action is set in Connecticut, where Jamie Watson, the great-grandson of the famous John Watson meets the granddaughter of Holmes himself, Charlotte. She's inherited part of the detective's wit and genius. Although the two youngsters seem to be destined to an eternal rivalry, they eventually have to work together to solve a mysterious case and prove their innocence as well.
Expected date of publication: March 1st, 2016
How to Hang a Witch by Adriana Mather
We're moving into Young Adult territory with this one, as it seems to be specifically destined for fans of Mean Girls and Conversion. The action of this novel is set in Salem, the recent home of a certain Samantha Mather. The girl has to face a plethora of disturbing events, of which some are caused by a group of girls that go by the name of The Descendants. Sam has to deal with a ghost and somehow resolve a mystery and a very old curse.
Heartless by Marissa Meyer
Expected date of publication: November 8th, 2016
Image source: Pixabay