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2015 BRITIH GRAND PRIXRound 9/1903-05 July 2015Silverstone snapshotFernando Alonso"We go to the British Grand Prix on the back of a productive test session in Austria last week. We completed a large number of laps and I'm looking forward to getting in the car again at Silverstone, which is one of the best tracks on the calendar."Jenson Button"Who doesn't love Silverstone? The high-speed nature of the track makes it a brilliant challenge for the drivers, and the fans are something else – so knowledgeable and passionate. I've always loved my home race and I'll savour every moment again this year."Circuit lowdownThe British Grand Prix is one of the most iconic races on the Formula 1 calendar. It has featured in every World Championship season since 1950 and Silverstone has played host to the race more often than not. The 3.660-mile/5.891km circuit has been the exclusive home of the race since 1987. The layout has changed over the years, most recently in 2010, when the track was lengthened by 759 metres. But the character of the circuit remains unchanged: it's still a flat-out blast around what was once a World War II airfield. The predominance of fast corners makes it universally liked by the drivers.Silverstone is one of the fastest circuits on the 2015 calendar. In dry conditions, pole position is taken at an average speed of about 150mph, and the power units are made to work hard because there are long periods of full throttle. From Luffield through to Stowe the cars are flat-out for a period of almost 40s.The combination of old, abrasive asphalt and high cornering forces means Pirelli are taking their two hardest tyre compounds to the race. This is the third time this year that the Medium (Option) and Hard (Prime) compounds have been used and on both previous occasions, at Sepang and Barcelona, the races were won using two-stop strategies.McLaren is the second most successful constructor in the history of the British Grand Prix, having won the race 14 times since 1973.Great Britain facts & statsIt's all about: the raceStart time 1300 (local/BST)Race distance 52 laps (full world championship points awarded after 75 per cent distance/39 laps)2014 winner Lewis Hamilton2014 pole position Nico Rosberg 1m35.766s 221.452km/h 2014 fastest lap Lewis Hamilton 1m37.176s 218.239km/hChances of a Safety Car Low. Silverstone has lots of wide open spaces and there's only a 55 per cent chance of a Safety Car. Having said that, last year's race had to be red-flagged on lap one after a hefty crash involving Kimi Raikkonen.Don't put the kettle on… Historically, the British Grand Prix is classic two-stop territory. So you should expect the first pitstop to take place around lap 24 and the second on or around lap 40. A one-stop (lap 29) is also possible thanks to Pirelli's more durable rear tyres this year.Weather forecast The weather in England is notoriously unpredictable, even in summer. Qualifying last year was rain-affected and the teams will need to be prepared for more mixed conditions this year. Temperatures between 17-20 degrees are to be expected, although hotter temperatures are rumoured this year!It's all about: the trackFirst race 1950Circuit length 5.891km/3.660 milesRun to Turn One 420 metresLongest straight 1034m, along the Hangar StraightTop speed 311km/h on the approach to Turn 15DRS zones Two – on the approach to Turn Six and, again, on the approach to Turn 15Key corner Turns 10-14. This is the Maggotts-Becketts sequence, which is regularly described by the drivers as the greatest combination of corners in the world.Pitlane length 489 metres, the longest of the seasonMajor changes for 2015 None.It's all about: the carFuel consumption 2.5kg per lap, which is highFull throttle 66 per centBrake wear Low. Only nine per cent of the lap is spent braking, which is one of the lowest of the season.Gear changes 48 per lap/2,496per raceDid you know? There have been 160 British Formula One drivers since 1950; three of them will be on this year's grid: Jenson Button, Lewis Hamilton and Will Stevens.Technical words of wisdomMatt Morris, director of engineering"Silverstone is very technical, both for the drivers and the engineers. It's very high-speed and it's a real momentum track because many of the corners are inter-linked, especially through Maggotts and Becketts. A driver needs total confidence in his car and that comes from having a good high-speed balance."An aspect of Silverstone that isn't immediately obvious is the brakes. It's a track that's very low on braking energy, which means you can sometimes struggle with brake temperatures. The drivers barely touch the brakes from Luffield through to Stowe – a period of almost 40s – and that can make life interesting if you haven't got your sums right!"McLaren at the British Grand PrixWins 14 (1973, 1975, 1977, 1981, 1982, 1984, 1985, 1988, 1989, 1999, 2000, 2001, 2005, 2008) Poles 7 (1977, 1984, 1985, 1999, 2000, 2001, 2005)Fastest laps 7 (1977, 1989, 1998, 1999, 2004, 2007, 2008)Our most memorable British Grand Prix: 1981This wasn't McLaren's most dominant win at Silverstone, but it was one of the team's most significant victories because it was the first for a carbon composite chassis in the history of the sport.McLaren drivers John Watson and Andrea de Cesaris qualified fifth and sixth, but, unfortunately, de Cesaris spun off early in the race. Watson kept his nose clean and worked his way up the order, overtaking Didier Pironi for third on lap 14 and then inheriting second place when Alain Prost retired from the lead on lap 17.On lap 50, the Renault of Rene Arnoux started to sound rough, and 10 laps later Wattie swept past the Frenchman to take the lead in his MP4-1. It was the Ulsterman's first F1 win for five years, and McLaren's first since the Japanese Grand Prix in 1977.#14 Fernando AlonsoAge 33 (July 29 1981)GPs 241Wins 32Poles 22Fastest laps 21Best result in Britain 1st (2006, 2011)"We go to Silverstone this week feeling optimistic after two good test days in Austria. We've been busy analysing all of the data which has been very useful to continue learning about our package and keep moving forward. It was very positive that we were able to pass the 100-lap mark on the second day, and we're really motivated to keep pushing into the next couple of grands prix before the summer break."Silverstone is a very special race for the team, of course, and also a fantastic circuit to drive. It's one of the fastest on the calendar, which also means it won't be a circuit that will suit our car so well, but we're still looking forward to the weekend and want to make the most of every session. The crash I had with Kimi in Austria was really unlucky, but we quickly put that behind us during testing and know that we'll have some great support from the fans at the team's home race."I love driving the Silverstone circuit; I've won there twice, in 2006 and 2011, so I have very good memories, and it's a really exciting track for the drivers with the mix of high-speed and medium-speed corners. Plus, the unpredictable weather always provides an interesting gamble. We know this weekend will be challenging, but we'll be pushing hard every session to put on the best show we can for the fans."#22 Jenson ButtonAge 35 (January 19 1980)GPs 273Wins 15Poles 8Fastest laps 8Best result in Britain 4th (2004, 2010)"It feels great to be heading back to Silverstone – a place I love going to every year – and it's a real privilege to be able to race in front of my home fans. No matter what happens during a race weekend, the fan support always makes the whole event extra special: even though this will be my 16th outing at the British Grand Prix, seeing the Union Jacks out in the grandstands and the roar of the crowd still gives me goose bumps every time - it really is a magical feeling. Seeing the fans decked out in pink last year in honour of my dad was incredibly moving and something I'll never forget, too."It was great that Fernando and Stoffel were able to do some positive running in Austria during the test, so we've firmly put the disappointments of race day behind us and I'm really looking forward to arriving in Silverstone. We're still struggling to achieve consistent reliability, so we're working really hard to find solutions to the issues we've been facing. Saying that, having two trouble-free days of running at the test has been a great motivation, and we're continuing to push for more progress in this area."Driving the Silverstone circuit is always immense fun for all the drivers, and it's definitely one of my favourite racetracks. The combination of Maggotts-Becketts has legendary status for good reason, and it's one of the most exhilarating corner combinations of any circuit on the Formula 1 calendar. I can't wait to get out there on Friday and make the most of the incredible atmosphere at my home grand prix."Eric BoullierRacing director, McLaren-Honda"Being a British team, returning to Silverstone for the British Grand Prix is always a great occasion for the whole team. For McLaren-Honda, it's the first of two home grands prix for us this year, and we always enjoy incredible support and a completely unique atmosphere thanks to the huge British following. Although we aren't where we want to be in terms of performance, we know the fans will be behind us, and I know I can speak for everyone in the team when I say it really does lift everyone and makes this weekend one of the really, truly, special ones of the year. "The team worked very hard in Austria with the limited running we had due to the bad weather, and we've completed a solid and varied test programme to arm us with a lot of useful information. During the test we evaluated a number of different aero components, which so far have shown positive signs, so we'll continue testing their effectiveness at Silverstone this weekend as we seek to continue improving our performance. Likewise, running without any major issues on both days was important."The circuit is a real driver's track and there are a few good opportunities to overtake, but it means good stability at high speed is essential for a strong lap. Fast circuits with long corners such as Silverstone don't play to the strengths of our package, but we know the atmosphere will be electric and we will keep pushing for further improvements at every opportunity. Everyone at McLaren-Honda is looking forward to the weekend and we know the loyal and passionate support of the fans won't let us down."Yasuhisa AraiHonda R&D senior managing officer – chief officer of motorsport"In Spielberg, Fernando was involved in an accident on the first lap of the race, and Jenson had a sensor failure issue. As a result, both cars were forced to retire. We have since completed thorough checks of both power units back at the factory, and we believe that Fernando's power unit has sustained damage from the accident, and it may be necessary to change the engine. As for Jenson's power unit this weekend, the issue is still under investigation."Honda is not looking to put any hardware updates in place for the British Grand Prix, but we will optimise the power unit setting to the updated aero parts planned on the chassis. Silverstone is a classic technical high-speed circuit where the tyre degradation is high and it is tough on fuel."Amanda Hunt- photo McLaren
01.07.2015 / MaP
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Hurricane Dorien has now passed, and most of us are now trying to recover from the high winds and rain. Even though this hurricane wasn't as terrible as some that we have seen in the past, we still want to provide some information on how to check your HVAC system! In this post, we shall give you the tips you need in order to access the damage, and then take the steps necessary to reduce any further issues with your AC unit.
We understand that you need your air conditioning unit running to regulate the temperatures in your home. However, you need to check your heating and air Fayetteville NC unit first to avoid causing any further damage, which could increase the cost of repair. Since your insurance company will be handling the repair costs or some percentage of it, you need to avoid adding further problems that could increase the repair time of your air conditioning unit.
How to assess your HVAC unit for damage from Hurricane
Before you restart your central AC unit after a hurricane, you need to check the following things:
Is there any signs of damage from wind-blown objects or falling trees?
Was the air conditioning unit submerged in water?
Are the vents and fan clear of debris and other materials?
No signs of burnt electrical smoke damages.
Are the electrical and refrigerant lines intact?
Check for apparent signs of damage caused by debris or flooding
To check whether your central AC unit or heat pump were submerged in water, you are likely to see clear signs on the AC unit itself, as well as along the sides of your home. If the water levels were high, then they will likely leave a dirt stain on the exterior walls of your home. You can measure the depth of the floodwater, and then use that to determine whether your AC unit was submerged. In case the AC unit was submerged, you might also notice a skim of mud covering it.
If you notice that the AC unit was submerged in floodwater, you should contact experts at Honest Air Fayetteville NC to inspect and clean it before you turn it on again. If the internal systems are coated in dirt, they will not function optimally—the cooling coils will lose their efficiency and the electronic elements inside the AC unit may short out when you turn on the AC unit.
When you notice that tree limbs, falling trees, or other objects carried by floodwater or blown by wind hit the air conditioning unit, you should also consider calling our technicians at Honest Air Fayetteville, NC before trying to turn on the unit.
Check the rest of the central AC system
In case your house was flooded, you might need to inspect your air handler as well as your furnace. If floodwater reached these two pieces, then you need to have a technician inspect them. There is a possibility that floodwater shorted out the electronic components or caused corrosion in some of the most crucial parts of the air conditioning system.
What to do if you don't notice any signs of obvious damage
If your AC unit seems fine, and it is free from debris, wasn't struck by any object or wasn't in the path of any direct flooding, you should consider turning it on—just to run a test. However, you need to exercise extra caution when turning it on and make sure that you do a thorough inspection once the unit is turned on. Check to see whether its cooling fan is sounding right. Do you smell any signs of smoke or electrical shorting when you put your nose close to the unit?
Leave the AC unit to run for some time, and then recheck it, just to make sure that everything is ok. Continue monitoring the unit for the next few days, until you are satisfied that everything is running as it should. If you don't want the hassle of monitoring your AC unit now and then, consider having a professional inspect it.
If you have any doubts that your HVAC Fayetteville NC system is not working correctly you should consider turning off the unit at night before you sleep, since you will not be able to monitor it. Hurricanes typically come with massive power outages, the risk of fires are high, especially when the power is reconnected. Therefore, you need to exercise a lot of caution and most importantly contact your friendly HVAC inspectors at Honest Air Fayetteville!
HVAC Faytteville NC

subset: commoncrawl


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- Prince Harry designed an extravagant engagement ring for Meghan Markle, but those looking to purchase a replica are out of luck.
- The UK jeweler responsible for designing the ring has refused to create replicas for clients looking to copy Markle's royal style.
- While Cleave and Company refuses, it's likely that other jewelers will rush to create replicas of their own.
You can buy her white wrap coat, but you can't buy Meghan Markle's engagement ring — at least not from its original source.
Stephen Connelly, director of the U.K. jeweler who designed the three-stone diamond ring with Prince Harry's input, has told The Associated Press that Cleave and Company will not make any replicas for clients seeking a touch of that royal sparkle.
"We're not going to be making replicas of it," Connelly confirmed. "If you want a ring, then we'll design you a different one."
He added that widespread interest in the ring was "a bit of a shock." The company declined to say how much the piece, which features a band Welsh yellow gold, cost.
As it happens, it'd be almost impossible to truly recreate the ring, which Prince Harry gave the "Suits" actress after a dinner of roast chicken at home in London. The center stone is a diamond from Botswana, while the smaller diamonds on either side come from a brooch which belonged to his late mother, Princess Diana. It's that sort of personal touch that makes the ring special.
While Cleave and Company is putting its foot down, it's inevitable that other jewelry designers will rush to offer copycat rings. Kate Middleton's large Ceylon sapphire engagement ring, a keepsake from Princess Diana's private jewelry collection, has inspired countless knockoff versions at a variety of price points.
Indeed, QVC has already released a lookalike ring, while Canadian online jewelry retailer Jewlr.com used 3D printing technology to create "The Duchess," a replica inspired by Markle's design. Three-stone rings are also growing in popularity.
As Meghan Mania picks up where "The Kate Effect" left off, however, it's good to bear this in mind: Ain't nothing like the real thing, baby.
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Real wedding: Nicki + Roni
Nicki & Roni are a cute as a button couple, and we can't deny their wedding day was anything but. Organized by event planners (and bridesmaids!) Cait and Jules and photographed by the super duper talented Our Labor of Love, this is one event you guys are gonna love – if not for the rustic yet chic vibe, then for the irresistible personal touches brought in from their sweet love story. You see, Roni proposed to Nicki at the very same Manhattan Upper East Side post office where they first met three years earlier – hence the adorbs mail box table numbers and escort cards in airmail envelopes. Does it GET any cuter?
Let's take a little look, shall we?
Flowers collected at the New York City wholesale market added to the whimsical feel of the day – don't they look like freshly picked wildflowers? Simply beautiful.
Their cool invitations were a collaboration between Nicki and Roni. Roni did the design and production, while Nicki contributed the handwritten elements. Love the collaboration you too!
Oh this carriage is just perfect! Straight out of a fairytale.
Ronicki! Love these little straw flags.
Jars were a simple but elegant theme throughout the entire event. The candlelit jars strung about the tent were planned by Cait and Jules, who reached out to family and friends to begin saving and collecting jars months before the big day. Nicki & Roni walked in on their wedding day and were completely surprised by the beautiful labor of love!
Nicki's musician Dad gave a heart-melting performance of a song he wrote just for his daughter on her wedding day. Bonus – he enlisted the help of his 70s rock buddies to provide music for everyone to boogie down to the rest of the night.
What a fun and fabulous day! Thanks for letting us share it, Nicki & Roni, congrats and best wishes for a gorgeous life together!
Bride's dress: J.Crew / Bridesmaids dresses: J.Crew / Flower girl dresses: Crewcuts / Photography: Our Labor of Love / Event planning: Cait & Jules
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Social Love
Megan Clouse on Nov 29, 2010
The organic nature of the flowers is really special! And of course the carriage is too cute!!
Camille @ STYLE NOTES on Nov 29, 2010
Adore the airmail-themed escort cards! What a joyful, unique celebration with tons of personal touches. Thanks for the inspiration!
Kaira on Nov 29, 2010
How adorable are the "Ronikki" flags on the straw! Cute ta boot!
Rachel - theWeddingVine on Nov 29, 2010
Gorgeous horse and carriage, so romantic! and love the candles in jars hanging down as lanterns!!
Melanie on Nov 29, 2010
Oh, I just adore those invites. And the tiny flowers in the bride's arrangement. :) The Ronnicki straws made me smile. Gorgeous ideas -- I am all over the organic decorating thing. yourweddingwhisperer.com
Alexa @ Sodalex on Nov 29, 2010
This is one of my favorite weddings on here yet! I am in love with the carriage and the candles hung in glass jars are beyond beautiful!
Lace.and.Likes on Nov 29, 2010
the straws are so cute~
liz on Nov 29, 2010
where was the location? it was beautiful!
Cordelia on Nov 29, 2010
Beautiful! Any info about the venue?
Plum Pretty Sugar Loungerie on Nov 29, 2010
So dream-like and beautiful!
lydia {ever ours} on Nov 29, 2010
love our labor of love! adore their invites and their getaway carriage!
Nicki Sebastian on Nov 29, 2010
Thanks for all the sweet comments- it's like reliving the magic of our special day! I just wanted to let inquiring minds know that the venue is the Sunken Garden at Lauxmont Farms in Wrightsville, PA (5 minutes from my hometown): http://www.weddings.lauxmontfarms.com/home/index.htm
Jill on Nov 29, 2010
Ok... I am in looooove with the color combination! Any further pics of the flowers or bridesmaid dresses to share?? Let me know :-)
Lindsay on Nov 29, 2010
The fact that her Dad played at her wedding made me tear up. So sentimental. She'll remember that night forever. I love the special family flourishes!
ashleywatson on Nov 30, 2010
I have to say gorgeous... White wedding flowers are catching the eyes. Costume And decoration are really awesome.
Liz on Nov 30, 2010
Any idea on what font they used? It's simply gorgeous!!
Nicole* on Nov 30, 2010
i love this wedding! the colors are great! i just got engaged a few weeks ago and I want to incorporate yellow into my wedding. this is beautiful :)
Libby James on Nov 30, 2010
The jars are simply amazing. The way they are strung up is lovely! GREAT idea!!
[email protected] on Nov 30, 2010
Absolutely love the font on those invites. Stunning!
Jackie on Nov 30, 2010
Where are the invitations from? I love!
Nicki Sebastian on Nov 30, 2010
Me again! Thank you all for your wonderful comments- I'm so glad you're finding inspiration in our creations! The font is actually my own hand-lettering (I do freelance calligraphy for clients and companies and institutions like Lululemon and The Guggenheim Museum). If you're interested in knowing more about my calligraphy services, please feel free to email me at [email protected] I don't have a site up just yet, but will in the future!
Angela Dal Bon Sacramento Invites on Dec 1, 2010
The brides flowers are amazing! They put a nice twist on the rustic/vintage feel. Very original!
Rebecca on Dec 1, 2010
The whole wedding is simply stunning!
Christina- Calgary wedding photographers on Dec 5, 2010
We are going to borrow the idea of the straws for our wedding in May ... I love it! And amazing photos:)
tururu, la novia novata on Dec 27, 2010
Love the cool invitations!! I´m going to post it in my blog :D All the best from La Novia Novata
Jacqueline on Jan 8, 2011
love the jar idea! and the natural setting. lovely wedding!
Ernie on Oct 16, 2011
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Janeen on Apr 25, 2013
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Villa To Rent Lorgues on Jun 21, 2013
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|By Admin1 (admin) (adsl-69-150-133-223.dsl.okcyok.swbell.net - 220.127.116.11) on Tuesday, July 11, 2006 - 12:44 am: Edit Post
Wikipedia has no formal peer review for its articles. They may be written by experts or insane crazy people. Or worse, insane crazy people with an agenda.
Here's the dread fear with Wikipedia: It combines the global reach and authoritative bearing of an Internet encyclopedia with the worst elements of radicalized bloggers. You step into a blog, you know what you're getting. But if you search an encyclopedia, it's fair to expect something else. Actual facts, say. At its worst, Wikipedia is an active deception, a powerful piece of agitprop, not information.
Wikipedia has no formal peer review for its articles. They may be written by experts or insane crazy people. Or worse, insane crazy people with an agenda.
Death by Wikipedia: The Kenneth Lay Chronicles
By Frank Ahrens
Sunday, July 9, 2006; Page F07
The surprise death of Kenneth L. Lay last week did more than throw a monkey wrench into the government's plans to jail and fine the Enron Corp. founder. It further exposed the critical weakness of Wikipedia that prevents it from becoming the go-to source for Internet knowledge that it ought to be.
A little background: Wikipedia is an open-format Internet encyclopedia available to just about anyone who wants to write and edit an article. It was launched in English in January 2001 and now has millions of articles in several languages. "Wikiwiki," by the way, is Hawaiian for "fast."
Unlike, say, the Encyclopedia Britannica, Wikipedia has no formal peer review for its articles. They may be written by experts or insane crazy people. Or worse, insane crazy people with an agenda. And Internet access.
Lay's death on Wednesday illustrates the problem, as chronicled by the Reuters news service, which watched the Wikipedia article on Lay evolve with alarming speed and wildly inaccurate reporting.
News organizations began reporting Lay's death around 10 a.m. Wednesday. According to Reuters, by 10:06 a.m., Lay's Wikipedia entry said he had died "of an apparent suicide."
Two minutes later, the article was "updated" to say Lay had died "of an apparent heart attack or suicide." Within the same minute, a Wiki author backtracked, and the article said the cause of death was "yet to be determined."
Then the yahoos began weighing in.
At 10:11 a.m., the Lay article concluded, "The guilt of ruining so many lives finaly [sic] led him to his suicide." (Is it the speed with which flamers type that inevitably leads to typos? Or is it a political statement, a willful rebellion against the bourgeoisie strictures of so-called conventional spelling? Or are they just idiots? Discuss.)
Somehow, one minute later, actual news managed to elbow its way into Wikipedia: "According to Lay's pastor the cause was a 'massive coronary' heart attack."
But the sanity was short-lived. At 10:39 a.m., a self-styled medical expert opined: "Speculation as to the cause of the heart attack lead many people to believe it was due to the amount of stress put on him by the Enron trial."
Finally, by Wednesday afternoon, the Wikipedia entry about Lay said that he was pronounced dead at an Aspen, Colo., hospital and had died of a heart attack, citing news sources.
What does all of this tell us?
That Wikipedia's greatest strength is its greatest weakness.
If the statement that "history is written by the winners" is too gross, it does speak to an underlying truth: All definitive encyclopedia authorship comes with the point of view of its times. It is unavoidable. As august and reliable as the Britannica is, one need only look back to 19th-century versions to see its Anglo-centric viewpoint and curious study of others that treated foreigners (say, Africans) as anthropological subjects rather than human equals.
An encyclopedia written from many points of view should, in theory, help eliminate that flaw. Further, as well-girded in research as encyclopedia authors are, there are countless experts on thousands of topics that know more than the Wikipedia authors; every topic has its fetishists, and thank goodness. If the goal is the ultimate compilation of truth-tested facts, Wikipedia could be a powerful tool.
To wit, I offer this week's obligatory "Star Trek" reference. A recent story in another publication that I won't identify (coughcoughnewyorktimescough) reported the upcoming Christie's auction of "Trek" props and costumes. The head of the auction made a couple of Trekiana mistakes that even I caught, and I don't own a rubber Klingon prosthetic forehead. (As far as you know.)
But here's the dread fear with Wikipedia: It combines the global reach and authoritative bearing of an Internet encyclopedia with the worst elements of radicalized bloggers. You step into a blog, you know what you're getting. But if you search an encyclopedia, it's fair to expect something else. Actual facts, say. At its worst, Wikipedia is an active deception, a powerful piece of agitprop, not information.
Some Wikipedia articles contain warnings that concerns have been raised over accuracy. But that's not the same as offering fact-checked data.
I'm a fan of Wikipedia and Wiki notions, such as "citizen journalism." I just want them to be better.
When this story was posted in July 2006, this was on the front page of PCOL:
Read the stories and leave your comments.
Peace Corps Online The Independent News Forum serving Returned Peace Corps Volunteers
Jody Olsen is acting Peace Corps Director
The Senate confirmed Gaddi Vasquez to head the FAO on June 30. Jody Olsen will be acting Director until the President makes a permanent appointment. Olsen has been Deputy Director of the Peace Corps since 2002. She has previously served as Chief of Staff for two directors, as regional director for North Africa, Near East, and Asia and the Pacific, and as country director in Togo. She served in Tunisia as a PCV.
The Peace Corps Library
The Peace Corps Library is now available online with over 40,000 index entries in 500 categories. Looking for a Returned Volunteer? Check our RPCV Directory. New: Sign up to receive PCOL Magazine, our free Monthly Magazine by email. Like to keep up with Peace Corps news as it happens? Sign up to recieve a daily summary of Peace Corps stories from around the world.
Changing the Face of Hunger
In his new book, Former Congressman Tony Hall (RPCV Thailand) says humanitarian aid is the most potent weapon the United States can deploy against terrorism. An evangelical Christian, he is a big believer in faith-based organizations in the fight against hunger. Members of Congress have recently recommended that Hall be appointed special envoy to Sudan to focus on ending the genocide in Darfur.
PC will not return to East Timor in 2006
Volunteers serving in East Timor have safely left the country as a result of the recent civil unrest and government instability. Latest: The Peace Corps has informed us that at this time, the Peace Corps has no plans to re-enter the country in 2006. The Peace Corps recently sent a letter offering eligible volunteers the opportunity to reinstate their service in another country.
Chris Dodd considers run for the White House
Senator Chris Dodd plans to spend the next six to eight months raising money and reaching out to Democrats around the country to gauge his viability as a candidate. Just how far Dodd can go depends largely on his ability to reach Democrats looking for an alternative to Hillary Clinton. PCOL Comment: Dodd served as a Volunteer in the Dominican Republic and has been one of the strongest supporters of the Peace Corps in Congress.
The RPCV who wrote about Ben Hogan
Probably no RPCV has done more to further the Third Goal of the Peace Corps than John Coyne with the Peace Corps Writers web site and newsletter that he and Marian Haley Beil have produced since 1989. Now John returns to writing about his first love - golf in "The Caddie who knew Ben Hogan." Read an excerpt from his novel, an interview with the author and a schedule of his book readings in Maryland and DC this week.
Vasquez testifies before Senate Committee
Director Vasquez testifies before the Senate Foreign Relations Committee on his nomination as the new Representative to the United Nations Agencies for Food and Agriculture replacing Tony Hall. He has been the third longest serving Peace Corps Director after Loret Ruppe Miller and Sargent Shriver. PCOL Comment: Read our thanks to Director Vasquez for his service to the Peace Corps.
First Amendment Watch
Maine Web Report hit with Federal Lawsuit
Website wins trademark suit against Jerry Falwell
Interview with a Hit Man
RPCV John Perkins says that for many years he was an "economic hit man" in the world of international finance whose primary job was to convince less developed countries to accept multibillion dollar loans for infrastructure projects that left the recipient countries wallowing in debt and highly vulnerable to outside political and commercial interests. In this exclusive interview for "Peace Corps Online," Colombia RPCV Joanne Roll, author of Remember with Honor, talks to Perkins about his Peace Corps service, his relation with the NSA, "colonization" in Ecuador, the consequences of his work, why he decided to speak out, and what his hopes are for change.
PC Program in Chad temporarily suspended
Director Vasquez announced the temporary suspension of the Peace Corps program in Chad on April 14 and that all 29 Peace Corps volunteers have left the country. With a program dating back forty years (See Page 4 of the April 1966 "Peace Corps Volunteer"), RPCVs hope that volunteers can return to Chad as soon as the situation has stabilized. Congratulations to the Peace Corps for handling the suspension quickly and professionally.
Peace Corps stonewalls on FOIA request
The Ashland Daily Tidings reports that Peace Corps has blocked their request for information on the Volkart case. "After the Tidings requested information pertaining to why Volkart was denied the position � on March 2 � the newspaper received a letter from the Peace Corps FOIA officer stating the requested information was protected under an exemption of the act." The Dayton Daily News had similar problems with FOIA requests for their award winning series on Volunteer Safety and Security.
PCOL readership increases 100%
Monthly readership on "Peace Corps Online" has increased in the past twelve months to 350,000 visitors - over eleven thousand every day - a 100% increase since this time last year. Thanks again, RPCVs and Friends of the Peace Corps, for making PCOL your source of information for the Peace Corps community. And thanks for supporting the Peace Corps Library and History of the Peace Corps. Stay tuned, the best is yet to come.
History of the Peace Corps
PCOL is proud to announce that Phase One of the "History of the Peace Corps" is now available online. This installment includes over 5,000 pages of primary source documents from the archives of the Peace Corps including every issue of "Peace Corps News," "Peace Corps Times," "Peace Corps Volunteer," "Action Update," and every annual report of the Peace Corps to Congress since 1961. "Ask Not" is an ongoing project. Read how you can help.
RPCV admits to abuse while in Peace Corps
Timothy Ronald Obert has pleaded guilty to sexually abusing a minor in Costa Rica while serving there as a Peace Corps volunteer. "The Peace Corps has a zero tolerance policy for misconduct that violates the law or standards of conduct established by the Peace Corps," said Peace Corps Director Gaddi H. Vasquez. Could inadequate screening have been partly to blame? Mr. Obert's resume, which he had submitted to the Peace Corps in support of his application to become a Peace Corps Volunteer, showed that he had repeatedly sought and obtained positions working with underprivileged children. Read what RPCVs have to say about this case.
Military Option sparks concerns
The U.S. military, struggling to fill its voluntary ranks, is allowing recruits to meet part of their reserve military obligations after active duty by serving in the Peace Corps. Read why there is opposition to the program among RPCVs. Director Vasquez says the agency has a long history of accepting qualified applicants who are in inactive military status. John Coyne says "Not only no, but hell no!" and RPCV Chris Matthews leads the debate on "Hardball." Avi Spiegel says Peace Corps is not the place for soldiers while Coleman McCarthy says to Welcome Soldiers to the Peace Corps. Read our poll results. Latest: Congress passed a bill on December 22 including language to remove Peace Corps from the National Call to Service (NCS) military recruitment program
Why blurring the lines puts PCVs in danger
When the National Call to Service legislation was amended to include Peace Corps in December of 2002, this country had not yet invaded Iraq and was not in prolonged military engagement in the Middle East, as it is now. Read the story of how one volunteer spent three years in captivity from 1976 to 1980 as the hostage of a insurrection group in Colombia in Joanne Marie Roll's op-ed on why this legislation may put soldier/PCVs in the same kind of danger. Latest: Read the ongoing dialog on the subject.


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By Amanda Pearson
The room had a strange aroma of pig. Not quite ham—more of a nauseating smell. The smell of fluids would really be the best way to describe it.
I saw them that morning. A small, metal tray on wheels floating down the hallway, filled with plastic bags that were bulging with amniotic fluids, and a collection of small, premature piglets. At a glance, they all looked like little, raisined fingertips, the way your fingers get after you've been in the tub or the pool for too long. But of course, these little guys were not water-soaked fingers having fun splashing around in the tub.
Students all around me were excited to cut into their adolescent pig and see the "guts and stuff," as one of my most sophisticated classmates called it. The little babes were sorted among my third period classmates, who had all divided into small groups of two or three and were crowding around the sealed bags, waiting for the go-ahead. Miss Amason stood at the front of the class in a simple white lab coat. Her glasses were skewed behind a thick pair of old goggles, and everyone had a pair to match. The boys cut open their bags in a hurry, and girls followed suit. They put a nice large slit down the middle of the clear bag, releasing the fluids into one of the old plastic tubs that were on every other table.
I was, of course, the only person who was not looking forward to digging around some poor pig's intestines. Yet even after a request, I was unable to be excused from the practice of anatomy because it was "a crucial lesson that will help you understand the human body and what's inside us all"—even though I did not care, nor had I ever cared, about a pig's or my own small intestine. The hour started to pass as I sat by the corner of the table, gagging and filling out our report.
The two girls that were in my group were a part of a small alliance that was unrecognized by themselves as the KKK (though everyone I knew referred to them as so). Karissa, Kassidy, Karla, and Kayce. All blonde with names that started with K's, so it is easy to see where the inappropriate nickname stemmed from. I was close with a few of these girls during different times throughout elementary and high school. Kassidy and Karla joined me on the day the pigs died, and both enjoyed it more than I could ever understand.
They had utensils in their hands at all times. The white gloves that covered their hands were thrusting deep down inside of the piglet, jarring things in every direction. A small puddle of fluids gathered in the corner of the table by my papers, and I was forced to take my notes off the table and keep them in my lap instead.
Fetal pigs are used for dissection because they are one of the mammals closest to the human in their anatomy. The pigs are not bred for dissection but are a product of the pork industry. I am only assuming that the unwanted, the incompetent pigs, are rejected from the business of becoming pork and are forced to be cut open much sooner in life instead. Not all of the outcasts are used for dissection, though. Many piglets will become fertilizer or will simply be thrown away. I asked once why it was socially acceptable to discard a fetal pig after it was mutilated, and the answer given to me by the so-called smart kid in my class was, "Pigs are not pets, therefore no one thinks of dissecting them as a horrible act."
We were asked to discover the sex of our pig, and the girls decided that we indeed did have a boy. They proceeded to name him Henry. He was in our class for three
days. The janitors brought a milk cooler to hold the bodies between class periods. The back half of the school stank for the entire week, but the odor was stuck in my nostrils for even longer. I couldn't escape the smell. Not in Spanish class or math. English was a waste of time that week because I was too busy thinking of Henry and his siblings filling the milk coolers that little children once used for snack time.
I continued down this train of thought as it took me from different stories I read or was told. I thought of Animal Farm, which to this day I have not read, and Charlotte's Web. Wilbur was in my mind often during that week, and how the little girl saved him as her own pet—one prime example of how pigs can be pets. An example I wanted to shove in the face of the smart kid whose answer was not acceptable to me. Pigs could, in fact, be pets.
Was poor Henry just a part of a way of life? Dissection was used in every single school I went to throughout my school days. First it was owl's poop. Next was a cow's eye. Then the frog. Henry came next. I was supposed to dissect a turtle but was excused for that one because of my gagging. Some students even dissected a cat. Luckily, I was not in this class, or I do believe I wouldn't gag at all, but instead would have started to vomit immediately.
The last day of dissection was the closest I came to throwing up. My KKK members were still having fun probing Henry's guts but were finding less humor in that day's activities than the previous two. To retain their interest, they started making their own guidelines instead of using the ones that were in my pamphlet. They attempted to cut off his foot. A failed attempt. Next, they took out his liver and cut it wide open, followed by his heart and his lungs. Finally, they tried to pry his eyes open.
Scissors and tweezers were used during this surgery. His eyes were cold, black circles when they were forced open. Henry just stared off into space, something I had been trying to do over the course of dissection week. New fumes were released throughout that last day, but the worst was one I might have imagined. His eyes not only pierced through me but made my nostrils flare with an uncomfortable odor that only I seemed to notice.
High fives were given, boys were invited to come and look. Miss Amason did not object but looked on with what I thought looked like a disapproving nod. I alone sat by the small corner of our lab table, eyes roaming the room for anywhere else to look. I made eye contact with several other pigs that day because after Kassidy and Karla tried it, everyone else had to see if they could pry open the eyes of their own dissembled piglets.
Pigs are the fourth smartest animal in the world. Their intelligence starts off young, and many piglets will learn their names, if given one. In two to three weeks they can respond to those names. Pigs are also very clean animals and will seldom poop by their homes. Even piglets that are a few hours old will leave their sleeping areas to use the bathroom. Human babies can't do that but instead poop on themselves. People misunderstand pigs because pigs roll around in mud; therefore, people demean them and consider them to be disgusting animals. But pigs roll in mud to keep cool and prefer water to mud when available. In comparison, some women pay up to $100 for a mud bath because it is viewed as a luxury at many spas.
Pigs are not only smart but are fast. The average pig can run a mile in seven minutes while the average speed for a human is ten minutes. Pigs seem to be a little misunderstood, and this makes it okay for children or young adults to cut them open and probe them.
Clean-up was the worst. I was forced to help wash my table and bin. Little Henry was thrown into the special garbage can that looked like the exact ones we used during lunch shifts. All extra fluids were dumped into a separate bucket that looked identical to the first. Both buckets were both rolled down the hallway. A small clicking noise filled the halls as what was left of the piglets rolled away.
Amanda Pearson is a senior at Bemidji State University and will graduate with a major in creative and professional writing and minor in English.
Tagged: Amanda Pearson,


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Good thing we know where we're going.
The fog stayed with us until the trail head.
We are ready to go.
Good thing we are not on bicycles.
The rain is kind of letting up, so equipment adjusting is in progress.
Lots and lots of mushrooms along the trail.
A winter cross-country ski trail that is also frequented by snow shoe goers.
A family heading into the back-country for the weekend.
Watridge Lake is our lunch stop.
Watridge Lake is at the "You Are Here" spot. Not the screw at the bottom of the map, but 3/4 up the map on the left side, on the Karst Spring trail.
Our group photo.
All seasons long the karst stream is in continuous shaded light, allowing subtle tones of green and brown to dominate the landscape.
Gotcha ya!


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Are you tired of reading sales books and watching videos, but not seeing success with your current sales training strategy? Research is showing that reading sales books and watching videos just isn't enough, and adopting sales solutions your team can quickly understand and apply immediately is almost impossible for average people to do on their own.
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"Since taking part in the M3 Sales Training System I've noticed I'm more confident in my sales pitch. I'm more enthusiastic and it shows in my sales figures. I've had my best sales day recently when I sold 5 Rolex watches in one day."
Joseph Thompson, John Bull Group
"I've applied the M3, since then I've broken records that we set."
Mary Samuel, Spa Therapist
"Geoffrey's M3 Training Systems have become the cornerstone of our sales training curricula with extremely effective results with our teams and operations group-wide."
Wayne Cummings, Group Commercial Director at Sandals Resorts International & ATL Group of Companies
Get Your Free Employee Engagement Cheat Sheet
Ignite Revenue, Leadership & Customer Loyalty
Everyone's talking about effective leadership, right? We all know that it's impossible for everyone to be on the same page at all times. But what almost no one understands about effective leadership is the concept of the 21st century leadership characteristics.
It's not internal mentorship that helps you create a unified team, it's unearthing and codifying the expertise of your leaders. And that can happen even if you are currently undergoing organizational change. If this strikes a cord, then the 21st Century Leadership program could be right for you.
"Each session was timely, relevant and presented new ideas to inspire, re-energize and challenge the team. It was simply exceptional!"
- Yoni Epstein, CEO iTel BPO
Are you trying to make every customer a customer for life, but finding that hiring experienced people is just too much to handle? Do you start fresh every Monday, fail, then vow to start again with the same old customer experience strategies that don't work?
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"What changed? My whole outlook on my job/position changed. I learned how to value my job."
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Meet Geoffrey
One of the most dynamic personalities in the Human Capital Development industry, Geoffrey is the Chief Inspirational Officer.
As an accomplished sales & customer service coach, speaker and author Geoffrey has impacted professionals from all over the world. From his experience as a master facilitator and coach to sales training for billion-dollar brands like Sandals Resorts International, Geoffrey's approach to creating an attitude of genuine interest and care for one's customers and clients has won him favor internationally.
Jamaican by birth and raised in Canada, Geoffrey has worked with people from over 50 different cultures so far to date. This has enabled him to connect with a variety of people, causing them to be inspired to action.
Thanks to his unique mix of enthusiasm and humor his training sessions are entertaining, yet impactful. Author of 5 training programs and the book, Creating Clients for Life, Geoffrey has provided solutions designed to enhance your sales, customer service and leadership.
Inspiring corporate professionals to action and greater profits has been the focus for Geoffrey for over 15 years. If high performing teams, dynamic employee engagement, and improved company morale are sought after goals for you and your company, then Geoffrey can definitely help you.
"We create positive, productive people who create thriving communities, profitable companies, happy families and a fulfilled self"
- Geoffrey H. Fullerton
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Ignite Revenue, Leadership & Customer Loyalty


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Robocalls made up nearly three-quarters of complaints from consumers about violations of the National Do Not Call Registry over the past year, the Federal Trade Commission announced Thursday. Calls from impostors jumped from the third-most complained-about topic in 2018 to No. 1 this year.
The FTC on Thursday released its 2019 Do Not Call Registry Data Book, a listing of the most common complaints across the U.S. and in individual states from consumers who say they received calls despite being on the registry.
More than 239 million people were actively signed up to the Do Not Call Registry from October 2018 to September 2019, but the FTC still received more than 5.4 million complaints about violations. That's down from 5.8 million in the 2018 report, but the FTC says the numbers are skewed because of the 35-day government shutdown at the start of the year.
Seventy-one percent of those complaints were about robocalls while the other 21% were calls from a live person.
Top complaints by topic of calls
- Impostors (574,501 complaints)
- Medical and prescriptions
- Reducing debt
- Computer and tech support
- Warranty and protection plans
- Vacation and timeshares
- Energy, solar and utilities
- Money making opportunities
- Home improvement and cleaning
- Lotteries, prizes and sweepstakes
- Home security and alarms
October 2018 saw the most grievances (587,776) and most months had at least 400,000. There was a noticeable drop in December 2018 (379,360) and January 2019 (130,674), again due to the government shutdown.
RELATED: Register a phone number
RELATED: File a complaint
The state with the most gripes overall was California with 652,024 -- not a surprise given its population. The state with the most complaints compared to its population was Colorado. There were 2,294 complaints for every 100,000 residents.
Top 10 states for complaints
(per 100,000 people)
- Colorado
- Oregon
- Arizona
- New Jersey
- Nevada
- Maryland
- Delaware
- Virginia
- Connecticut
- New Hampshire
The state with the fewest complaints per 100,000 people was Alaska (581).
States with the most people signed up to the Do Not Call Registry (per 100,000 people)
- New Hampshire (93,339)
- Connecticut
- Massachusetts
- Maine
- New Jersey
- Kansas
- Vermont
- Wyoming
- Wisconsin
- Pennsylvania
California had the most people registered overall with more than 26 million but ranked 40th in registrations per 100,000 people.


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- 2015 Food Chronicles
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Website Analytics is one of the most important ways to keep track of all aspects of your website. Especially when it comes to seeing what kind of content is working for your visitors. How they are finding your website and how long they hang around for.
Analytics really is the only accurate way to assess the success or failure of a digital marketing campaign or strategy, but what are some useful analytics to look out for?
- Channels
Google Analytics breaks down how people find your website into eight distinct 'channels.' These channels are 'organic' which are unpaid search results, 'direct,' which is when someone types your URL into the search bar directly, 'social,' which is when someone finds your website through a social network, 'email' which is through a link in an email, 'referral' which is a link clicked from an external website, 'paid search' which is from a PPC (pay-per-click) campaign, 'other' which is traffic from online advertising outside of search and display and 'display' which is from display advertising such as Google AdWords.
It is important to keep an eye on how people find your blog or website, as this will give you valuable insight into what is working for your business and where you should be focusing your digital marketing efforts in the future.
- Engagement
Engagement measures how much time visitors spend on your website. It is not only important for you to attract visitors to your blog or website. But it is also key to get them to stick around. Looking at the levels of engagement for each of your pages. That allows you to see how well your website is working as a whole and where you can improve the quality and relevance of your content to keep visitors there for longer.
- Bounce Rate
Bounce rate is a measurement of how many people visit a single page of your website and then leave. Shown as a percentage, the lower this percentage, the better your website is at retaining visitors. However, a high bounce rate doesn't always mean a bad design or poor content; someone could be looking for an email address or a contact number and then leaving straight away.
- Exit Pages
People tend to ignore exit pages that show you the last page a visitor looks at before leaving a website entirely. It is important to review these exit pages regularly to see guiding people away from the website. Irrelevant content or just a natural end to a journey like the 'thank you' page at the end of a contact form. With information like which pages are acting as exit pages for your website, you can change and improve the visitor's journey to suit your digital marketing strategy.
- Landing Pages
The opposite of exit pages and landing pages are your website's pages that welcome your potential customers and visitors. These landing page analytics not only show you the pages that visitors are entering your website through. But they also show you lots of relevant information about those landing pages, like where those visitors came from. What pages they clicked on next, and how long they stayed on your landing page before moving on.
While this may not sound overly useful, these analytics allow you to see what works well, what doesn't work at all, and where you can improve other landing pages to make them perform as well as your top performers.


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The Venue
Come see what life is like in a full time, land based permaculture community!
The event is located in a wild, lush, secluded tropical rainforest, on the Big Island of Hawaii.
The Community
The hosts are a very unique intentional permaculture community started in 2005 whose members value personal growth, communication skills and open relationships, as well as living on the land.
It is a body positive, clothing optional, emotionally open environment.
There are very few communities that carry all these qualities with such success and longevity. How do they do it? Come and find out!
The Farm
The site is rustic and homey, in the middle of lush jungle. You will be included in the family of the community during your stay, eating meals together and getting a good sense of what life is like in an intentional community. There are extensive gardens that you can tour, as well as chickens and sheep, all integrated into permaculture systems.
The Facilities
All the electricity is off grid solar power. They use outhouses that collect humanure, which is used to fertilize the many tropical fruit and nut trees. Enjoy the wood fired hot tub under the tropical stars, and the solar showers. Listen to the chorus of tree frogs in the night.
The sleeping spaces do not have toilets or water, but some have electricity. You can choose from tenting in your own tent, dorms, quanset hut structures and small cabins. You can also rent a more deluxe accomodation very nearby.
Local Organic Food
Meals will be delicious, healthy organic food with vegetarian, vegan and occasional fish and poultry options. Sample tropical delicacies prepared by community members, including fresh food from the gardens! With enough advance notice, we can also accommodate many special food needs.
The Amazing Local Area
While you are here, explore the warm pools, black sand beaches, steam vents and Volcanos National Park! Also the site of the recent active lava flow is close by, and you might choose to take a hiking tour to get close viewing of it; an amazing experience!
For people coming from off island, this will be a fun way to see the incredible rare natural beauty of the area.


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I've been silently slinking around in the South picking up the scent of fine things and here's my double secret: Voodoo Tiki Bar & Lounge in Charleston. Get that island magic in a town where the sea breeze knocks out the mo-skeetos and no-see-ums … most of the time. It gets super reviews on Yelp and, anyway, who can say "no" to a Lobster Corn Dog, Teryaki Spam Kebab, Cheeseburger Spring Rolls or Cashew Encrusted Tuna Satay. See what I mean? Seriously hip … but if you haven't embraced spam and other organ meats, you won't know what I'm talking about (more about that later). There's a Happy Hour from 4-7pm Monday through Friday. The ultra-killer clincher: They are up to their dreads in jazz. I think you catch Quentin Baxter, jazz percussionist and musical director of the Charleston Jazz Initiative, The Charlton Singleton Brass Band and some other amazing performers playing here.
—Erin Orison, DEAD LOVE/The Daily Slice


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We are in one hell of a pickle.
Usually in the fall, the market will make a serious downward plunge, there will be an intervention or naturally occurring bottom. Following that, everyone steps back from the abyss and figure "Well hell, Merle, that there was sure some excitin close brush with Economic Collapse, but shore looks lack we made it fer 'nother year..."
Not that we have out of the woods – since the market still has plenty of time between now and the end of the year to collapse – but we are seeing some huge underlying shifts in how the "economic game" is played.
This morning we will go poking around the feedlot and see where some of the bull is. Even if you don't join us on the tour, though, the concept of a Feedlot Economy is a useful way of understanding what are some mighty curious changes in spending, saving, and consumption.
Plus: We review the "Clinton Fix" – how she lost the debate to Bernie and still owns the MSM brainwashing machine.
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London Hair & Spa is always looking for hot new talent. Our team members are wildly creative, passionate about our craft and play well with others. They also have a strong work ethic, dedication to customer service, and never stop learning and trying new trends. Sound like you? Let's talk!
To learn more, contact email@example.com


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BEHAVE WG M. Wasserman Internet-Draft Sandstorm Enterprises Expires: May 7, 2009 F. Baker Cisco Systems November 3, 2008 IPv6-to-IPv6 Network Address Translation (NAT66) draft-mrw-behave-nat66-01.txt Status of this Memo By submitting this Internet-Draft, each author represents that any applicable patent or other IPR claims of which he or she is aware have been or will be disclosed, and any of which he or she becomes aware will be disclosed, in accordance with Section 6 of BCP 79. Internet-Drafts are working documents of the Internet Engineering Task Force (IETF), its areas, and its working groups. Note that other groups may also distribute working documents as Internet- Drafts. Internet-Drafts are draft documents valid for a maximum of six months and may be updated, replaced, or obsoleted by other documents at any time. It is inappropriate to use Internet-Drafts as reference material or to cite them other than as "work in progress." The list of current Internet-Drafts can be accessed at http://www.ietf.org/ietf/1id-abstracts.txt. The list of Internet-Draft Shadow Directories can be accessed at http://www.ietf.org/shadow.html. This Internet-Draft will expire on May 7, 2009. Abstract This document describes a stateless, transport-agnostic IPv6-to-IPv6 Network Address Translation (NAT66) function that provides the address independence benefit associated with IPv4-to-IPv4 NAT (NAT44) while minimizing, but not completely eliminating, the problems associated with NAT44. This document also describes an address mapping option for NAT66 that offers the topology hiding benefit associated with NAT44 at the cost of additional state in the NAT66 device. Wasserman & Baker Expires May 7, 2009 [Page 1]
Internet-Draft NAT66 November 2008 Table of Contents 1. Requirements Terminology . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3 2. Introduction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3 3. Motivations . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4 4. NAT66 Overview . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4 5. NAT66 Address Mapping Mechanisms . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6 5.1. Checksum-Neutral Mapping . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6 5.1.1. Two-Way Algorithmic Address Mapping . . . . . . . . . 7 5.1.2. Topology Hiding Option . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9 6. Prefixes for Internal Addressing . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10 7. A Note on Port Mapping . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11 8. Security Considerations . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11 9. IANA Considerations . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12 10. Acknowledgements . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12 11. Change Log . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12 11.1. Changes Between -00 and -01 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12 12. References . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12 12.1. Normative References . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12 12.2. Informative References . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13 Authors' Addresses . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13 Intellectual Property and Copyright Statements . . . . . . . . . . 14 Wasserman & Baker Expires May 7, 2009 [Page 2]
Internet-Draft NAT66 November 2008 1. Requirements Terminology The key words "MUST", "MUST NOT", "REQUIRED", "SHALL", "SHALL NOT", "SHOULD", "SHOULD NOT", "RECOMMENDED", "MAY", and "OPTIONAL" in this document are to be interpreted as described in RFC 2119 [RFC2119]. 2. Introduction This document describes a stateless, transport-agnostic IPv6-to-IPv6 Network Address Translation (NAT66) function that provides the address independence benefit associated with IPv4-to-IPv4 NAT (NAT44) while minimizing, but not completely eliminating, the problems associated with NAT44. NAT66 does not include a port mapping function, and both of the defined address mapping mechanisms use checksum-neutral algorithms. This avoids the need for a NAT66 device to re-write transport layer headers, making it feasible to deploy new or improved transport layer protocols without upgrading NAT66 devices. Because NAT66 does not involve re-writing transport-layer headers, NAT66 will not interfere with encrypting the full IP payload in many cases. The default NAT66 address mapping mechanism is purely algorithmic, so NAT66 devices do not need to maintain per-node or per-connection state, allowing deployment of more robust and adaptive networks than can be deployed using NAT44. Since the default NAT66 mapping can be performed in either direction, it does not interfere with inbound connection establishment, thus allowing internal nodes to participate in direct peer-to-peer applications. This document also defines an address mapping option for NAT66 that offers the topology hiding benefit associated with NAT44. This mechanism involves the configuration or dynamic maintenance of some per-node state in the NAT66 device. So, when used with this optional address mapping mechanisms, NAT66 will have greater negative impact on direct peer-to-peer applications, and on the robustness and reliability of the network. These trade-offs are discussed later in the document. Although NAT66 compares favorably to NAT44 in several ways, it does not eliminate all of the architectural problems associated with IPv4 NAT. [RFC2993]. NAT66 involves modifying IP headers in transit, so it is not compatible with security mechanisms that involve end-to-end encryption of the IP header or mechanisms, such as AH, that provide integrity protection for the IP header. NAT66 may interfere with the use of application protocols that transmit IP addresses in the application-specific portion of the IP packet. These applications Wasserman & Baker Expires May 7, 2009 [Page 3]
Internet-Draft NAT66 November 2008 currently require application layer gateways (ALGs) to work correctly through NAT44 devices, and similar ALGs may be required for these applications to work through NAT66 devices. The use of separate internal and external address prefixes creates complexity for DNS deployment, due the desire for internal nodes to communicate with other internal nodes using internal addresses, while external nodes need to obtain external addresses to communicate with the same nodes. Typically, this results in the deployment of "split DNS", which has it's own set of architectural implications [Ref Needed]. 3. Motivations In defining the NAT66 mechanism, it is not our goal to encourage the implementation or use of NAT66. There are significant technical problems associated with the deployment of any type of NAT, and the IETF does not recommend the use of NAT. We strongly encourage anyone who is considering the implementation or deployment of NAT66 to read RFC 4864 [RFC4864], and to carefully consider the alternatives described in that document, many of which will cause fewer problems than NAT66. We are documenting NAT66 because we believe that some people will choose to implement and deploy IPv6 NAT, in spite of our recommendation not to do so. Some enterprises may choose to deploy IPv6 NAT to gain provider independent internal addressing or to simplify site multihoming. Others may consider the trade-offs and choose IPv6 NAT as a topology hiding mechanism. In other cases, administrators may choose to deploy IPv6 NAT to parallel their IPv4 NAT-based network architecture. Our goal is to define an IPv6-to- IPv6 NAT mechanism, NAT66, that will minimize the negative impacts of IPv6 NAT, in the event that some implementers do choose to implement an IPv6 NAT mechanism, and some network administrators do choose to deploy it. 4. NAT66 Overview NAT66 may be implemented in an IPv6 router to map one IPv6 address prefix to another IPv6 address prefix as each IPv6 packet transits the router. A router that implements a NAT66 function is referred to as a NAT66 device. In its simplest form, a NAT66 device will be attached to two network links, one of which is an "internal" network link attached to a leaf network within a single administrative domain, and the other of which is an "external" network with connectivity to the global Internet. All of the hosts on the internal network will use addresses from a Wasserman & Baker Expires May 7, 2009 [Page 4]
Internet-Draft NAT66 November 2008 single, locally-routed prefix, and those addresses will be translated to/from addresses in a globally-routable prefix as IP packets transit the NAT66 device. The following picture shows a NAT66 device attached to two networks. In this example, the internal network uses IPv6 Unique Local Addresses (ULAs) [RFC4193] to represent the internal IPv6 nodes, and the external network uses globally routable IPv6 addresses to represent the same nodes. External Network: Prefix = 2001:0DB8:0001:/48 -------------------------------------- | | +---------+ | NAT66 | | Device | +---------+ | | -------------------------------------- Internal Netowrk: Prefix = FD01:0203:0405:/48 When a NAT66 device forwards packets in the "outbound" direction, from the internal network to the external network, NAT66 overwrites the IPv6 source address (in the IPv6 header) with a corresponding address from the external prefix. When packets are forwarded in the "inbound" direction, from the external network to the internal network, the IPv6 destination address is overwritten with a corresponding address in the internal prefix. Using the prefixes shown in the diagram above, as an IP packet passes through the NAT66 device in the outbound direction, the source address prefix (FD01: 0203:0405:/48) will be overwritten with the external address prefix (2001:0DB8:0001:/48). In an inbound packet, the destination prefix (2001:0DB8:0001:/48) will be overwritten with the internal network prefix (FD01:0203:0405:/48). In both cases, it is the local IPv6 address that is overwritten; the remote IPv6 address remains unchanged. Nodes on the internal network are said to be "behind" the NAT66 device. NAT66 can also be used between two private networks. In these cases, both networks may use ULA prefixes, with each subnet in one network mapped into a corresponding subnet in the other network, and vice versa. Or, each network may use ULA prefixes for internal addressing Wasserman & Baker Expires May 7, 2009 [Page 5]
Internet-Draft NAT66 November 2008 and global unicast addresses on the other network. [TBD, add pictures of these examples]. In some cases, more than one NAT66 device may be attached to a network. In this case, they two NAT66 devices may be configured with the same internal and external prefixes, or they may be configured with the same internal prefix and different external prefixes. [TBD, add pictures of these examples.] 5. NAT66 Address Mapping Mechanisms This document defines two address mapping functions that can be used in NAT66 devices. To comply with this specification, NAT66 devices MUST implement the Two-Way Algorithmic Address Mapping. NAT66 devices SHOULD implement the Topology Hiding Option. The Two-Way Algorithmic Address Mapping mechanism and the Topology Hiding Option both use 1:1 (one-to-one) mappings, meaning that a given internal address is always mapped to the same external address. When the Two-Way Algorithmic mapping is used, no per-node or per-flow state is maintained in the NAT66 box. Both inbound and outbound packets are translated algorithmically, using only information found in the IPv6 header. Due to this property, the Two-Way Algorithmic Address Mapping can support both outbound and inbound connection establishment without the need for state-priming or rendevous mechanisms. This is a significant improvement over NAT44 devices, but it also has significant security implications which are described in the Security Considerations section. The Topology Hiding Option is intended to obscure the subnet information found in the internal IPv6 address prefix from external view, so that an external node cannot determine the structure of the internal network by looking at traffic outside of the NAT66 device. This features is called "topology hiding", and it is one of the benefits associated with NAT44. Because it is not possible to derive the full internal address simply by looking at the external address, the NAT66 device needs to maintain state in order to copy the correct internal address into inbound packets. This also means that inbound connection establishment will not work properly unless special provisions are made to enable inbound connectivity, such as configuring static state in the NAT66 device. 5.1. Checksum-Neutral Mapping The NAT66 address mapping mechanisms described in this document are checksum-neutral, which means that they result in IP headers that Wasserman & Baker Expires May 7, 2009 [Page 6]
Internet-Draft NAT66 November 2008 will generate the same pseudo-header checksum when the checksum is calculated using the standard Internet checksum [RFC1071]. Any changes that are made during translation of the IPv6 prefix are offset by changes to other parts of the IPv6 address. This results in the transport layers (such as TCP and UDP) calculating the same IPv6 pseudo header checksum for both the internal and external forms of the same packet, which avoids the need for the NAT66 device to modify the transport layer headers. The NAT66 address mapping mechanisms both use the same technique to ensure that they produce checksum-neutral transformations. When a changes is made to one of the fields in the IPv6 pseudo-header checksum, the checksum field in the transport layer header may become invalid. Fortunately, an incremental change in the area covered by the Internet standard checksum [RFC1071] will result in a well- defined change to the checksum value [RFC1624]. So, a checksum change caused by modifying one part of the area covered by the checksum can be eliminated by making a complementary change to a different 16-bit field covered by the same checksum. To produce a checksum neutral transformation, the NAT66 device calculates the 16-bit one's complement sum of the internal and external IPv6 prefixes. The difference between the original and mapped prefix checksums is calculated using 16-bit one's complement arithmetic, and the difference is added to a 16-bit value in another area of the local IPv6 address, thus resulting in an IPv6 header that will have the same pseudo-header checksum as the original header. Although the same mechanism is used to ensure that both of the NAT66 mappings are checksum-neutral, there are differences in which parts of the IPv6 header are mapped and where the complementary change is made. 5.1.1. Two-Way Algorithmic Address Mapping The Two-Way Algorithmic Address Mapping MUST be implemented on all NAT66 devices. This mapping consists of mapping an internal IPv6 prefix, typically a ULA, to/from an external prefix, typically a globally-routable unicast address, and making a complementary modification to 16 subnet bits in bits 49 through 64 of the local IPv6 addresss. The same transformation is performed in both the inbound and outbound directions, so the only state that is needed on the NAT66 box to peform this transformation is knowledge of the internal and external address prefixes in use. For the network shown in the example diagram in the NAT66 Overview section above, we might have the following example: Internal Prefix: FD01:0203:0405:/48 External Prefix: 2001:0DB8: Wasserman & Baker Expires May 7, 2009 [Page 7]
Internet-Draft NAT66 November 2008 0001:/48 If a node with internal address FD01:0203:0405:0001::1234 sends an outbound packet through the NAT66 device, the resulting external address will be 2001:0DB8:0001:D550::1234. The resulting address is obtained by calculating the checksum of both the internal and external 48-bit prefixes, sutracting the internal prefix from the external prefix using one's complement arithmetic and adding the result to the 16-bit subnet field (in this case 0x0001). To show the work: The one's complement checksum of FD01:0203:0405 is 0xFCF5. The one's complement checksum of 2001:0DB8:0001 is 0xD245. Using one's complement math, 0xD245 - 0xFCF5 = 0xD54F. The subnet mask in the original packet is 0x0001. Using one's complement math, 0x0001 + 0xD54F = 0xD550. So, the value 0xD550 is written in the 16-bit subnet mask area, resulting in a mapped external address of 2001:0DB8:0001:D550::1234. When a response packet is received, it will contain the destination address 2001:0DB8:0001:D550::0001, which will be mapped using the same mapping algorithm, back to FD01:0203:0405:0001::1234. In this case, the difference between the two prefixes will be calculated as follows: Using one's complement math, 0xFCF5 - 0xD245 = 0x2AB0. The subnet mask in the original packet = 0xD550. Using one's complement math, 0xD550 + 0x2AB0 = 0x0001. So the value 0x0001 is written into the subnet field, and the internal value of the subnet field is properly restored. This mapping results in no modification of the Interface Identifier (IID), which is held in the lower half of the IPv6 address, so it will not interfere with future protocols that may use unique IIDs for node identification. Use of this mapping is restricted to cases where both the internal and external prefixes are 48 bits long (a /48) or shorter, leaving at least 16 subnet bits that can be modified to ensure checksum neutrality. This may not be a significant limitation in practice, because it is expected that most NAT66 devices will be used to map between a provider-allocated external prefix of /48 or shorter and a ULA that uses the same prefix length as the external prefix. In cases where one or both prefixes are longer than a /48, the Topology Wasserman & Baker Expires May 7, 2009 [Page 8]
Internet-Draft NAT66 November 2008 Hiding Option can be used. 5.1.2. Topology Hiding Option The topology hiding option SHOULD be implemented on all NAT66 devices. It is very similar to the Two-Way Algorithmic Address mapping, except that the subnet bits in the destination address are mapped to zero in the outbound direction and are restored to their original value in the inbound direction. To remove the restriction on prefixes that have at least 16 bits of subnet space available, the checksum adjustment is made in the last 16 bits of the IP header, thus modifying the IPv6 Interface Identifier. Because the Interface Identifier may no longer be unique, the "u" bit [RFC4291] is cleared in the IID. This changes is also taken into account in the checksum adjustment. For the network shown in the example diagram in the NAT66 Overview section above, we might have the following example: Internal Prefix: FD01:0203:0405:/48 External Prefix: 2001:0DB8: 0001:/48 If a node with internal address FD01:0203:0405:0001::1234 sends an outbound packet through the NAT66 device, the resulting external address will be 2001:0DB8:0001:0000:0002::E782. The resulting address is obtained by calculating the checksum of both the internal and external 48-bit prefixes and subtracting the internal prefix checsum from the external prefix checksum. If the "u" bit is cleared in the original address (the IID has universal scope), set the bit in the mapped address and add 0xFFFD to the checksum difference calculated above. Then, add the checksum difference to the value o the last 16 bits of the IPv6 address. To show the work: The one's complement checksum of FD01:0203:0405:0001 is 0xFCF4. The one's complement checksum of 2001:0DB8:0001:0000 is 0xD245. Using one's complement math, 0xD245 - 0xFCF4 = 0xD550. The original address has the "u" bit clear, so 0xD550 + 0xFFFD = 0xD54E. The last 16 bits of the original address are 0x1234. Using one's complement math, 0x1234 + 0xD54E = 0xE782. So, when the prefix is mapped, the "u" bit is set in the IID, and the value 0xE782 is written into the last 16 bits of the address, this results in a mapped external address of 2001:0DB8:0001:0000:0002:: E782. When a response packet is received, it will contain the destination Wasserman & Baker Expires May 7, 2009 [Page 9]
Internet-Draft NAT66 November 2008 address 2001:0DB8:0001:0000:0002::E782. Unfortunately that address does not contain enough information to do an algorithmic reverse transformation, as the subnet bits were zeroed out when the external address was selected. Therefore, the NAT66 will need to consult its internal state to perform the reverse address mapping. The internal state used for this mapping could consist of dynamic per-node mapping state, as is maintained in most NAT44 devices today, or it could consist of a static mapping of external addresses to internal addresses. If dynamic state is used, inbound connections to nodes that have not yet communicated externally will fail, because there will be no state to perform the inbound mapping. NAT66 implementations SHOULD provide a means for network administrators to configure static mapping state to allow inbound mapping when the Topology Hiding Option is in use. Note: We could place the checksum adjustment in the 16-bit subnet field, if the prefixes are /48 or less, thus avoiding the need to modify the IID in those cases. Is that worth doing? We can't blindly overwrite the 16-bit following prefix no matter where they are, because of the need to maintain the "u" and "g" bits in the 7th and 8th bits of the IID. 6. Prefixes for Internal Addressing IPv6 includes a form of local addressing called Unique Local Addresses (ULAs) [RFC4193], and it is RECOMMENDED that ULAs be used to address network nodes that are located on an internal network serviced by a NAT66 device. NAT66 devices MUST support manual configuration of internal and external address prefixes, and MUST NOT place any restrictions on those prefixes except that they be valid IPv6 unicast address prefixes, as described in [RFC4291], and that they meet the requirements outlined in this document. NAT66 devices that do not have a manually configured internal prefix SHOULD randomly generate a ULA prefix for the internal network and advertise that prefix in router advertisements. NAT66 boxes with more than one internal interface SHOULD assign a subnet number to each link, and include the subnet number in router advertisements on the corresponding link. NAT66 devices that generate a ULA prefix MUST generate the prefix using a random number as described in RFC4291 [RFC4193], and SHOULD store the randomly generated prefix is non-volatile storage for continued use. Wasserman & Baker Expires May 7, 2009 [Page 10]
Internet-Draft NAT66 November 2008 7. A Note on Port Mapping In addition to overwriting IP addresses when packets are forwarded, NAT44 devices often overwrite the source port number in outbound traffic, and the destination port number in inbound traffic. This mechanism is called "port mapping". The major benefit of port mapping, and perhaps its only significant benefit, is that it allows multiple computers to share a single IPv4 address. A large number of internal IPv4 addresses (typically from the 10.0.0.0/8 prefix) can be mapped into a single external, globally routable IPv4 address, with the local port number used to identify which internal node should receive each inbound packet. This address amplification feature should not be needed in IPv6, where every attached network should be assigned at least a /48 prefix, leaving room for 16 subnet bits and a 64 bit Interface Identifier [RFC3587]. Since port mapping requires re-writing a portion of the transport layer header, it requires NAT66 devices to be aware of all of the transport protocols that they forward, thus stifling the development of new and improved transport protocols. Modifying the transport layer header is incompatible with security mechanisms that encrypt the full IP payload, and restricts the NAT66 device to forwarding trasnport layers that use weak checksum algorithms that are easily recalculated in routers. Since there is significant detriment caused by modifying transport layer headers and very little, if any, benefit to the use of port mapping in IPv6, NAT66 devices that comply with this specification MUST NOT perform port mapping. 8. Security Considerations When NAT66 is deployed using the two-way, algorithmic address mapping, it allows direct inbound connections to internal nodes. While this can be viewed as a benefit of NAT66 vs. NAT44, it does open internal nodes to attacks that would not be possible in a NAT44 network. Although this situation is no worse, from a security standpoint, than running IPv6 with no NAT, some enterprises may assume that a NAT66 device will offer similar protection to a NAT44 device. For this reason, it is RECOMMENDED that NAT66 devices include an IPv6 firewall function, and the firewall function SHOULD be configured by default to block all incoming connections. Administrators could then enable inbound connectivity for specific ports by reconfiguring the firewall. Wasserman & Baker Expires May 7, 2009 [Page 11]
Internet-Draft NAT66 November 2008 9. IANA Considerations This document has no IANA considerations. 10. Acknowledgements The checksum-neutral algorithmic address mapping described in this document is based on e-mail written by Iljtsch Van Beijnum. A similar mapping mechanism to the one described in this document was previously described in a document that can be found here: http:// users.piuha.net/chvogt/pub/2008/vogt-2008-six-one-router-design.pdf. [TBD, move to an informative reference]. The following people provided advice or review comments that substantially improved this document: Ed Jankiewicz, . This document was written using the xml2rfc tool described in RFC 2629 [RFC2629]. 11. Change Log 11.1. Changes Between -00 and -01 There were several minor changes made between the -00 and -01 versions of this draft: o Added Fred Baker as a co-author. o Minor mathematical corrections. o Added AH to paragraph on NAT security issues. o Added additional NAT topologies to overview (diagrams TBD). 12. References 12.1. Normative References [RFC1071] Braden, R., Borman, D., Partridge, C., and W. Plummer, "Computing the Internet checksum", RFC 1071, September 1988. [RFC1624] Rijsinghani, A., "Computation of the Internet Checksum via Incremental Update", RFC 1624, May 1994. Wasserman & Baker Expires May 7, 2009 [Page 12]
Internet-Draft NAT66 November 2008 [RFC2119] Bradner, S., "Key words for use in RFCs to Indicate Requirement Levels", BCP 14, RFC 2119, March 1997. [RFC3587] Hinden, R., Deering, S., and E. Nordmark, "IPv6 Global Unicast Address Format", RFC 3587, August 2003. [RFC4193] Hinden, R. and B. Haberman, "Unique Local IPv6 Unicast Addresses", RFC 4193, October 2005. [RFC4291] Hinden, R. and S. Deering, "IP Version 6 Addressing Architecture", RFC 4291, February 2006. 12.2. Informative References [RFC2629] Rose, M., "Writing I-Ds and RFCs using XML", RFC 2629, June 1999. [RFC2993] Hain, T., "Architectural Implications of NAT", RFC 2993, November 2000. [RFC4864] Van de Velde, G., Hain, T., Droms, R., Carpenter, B., and E. Klein, "Local Network Protection for IPv6", RFC 4864, May 2007. Authors' Addresses Margaret Wasserman Sandstorm Enterprises 14 Summer Street Malden, MA 02148 USA Phone: +1 781 333 3200 Email: email@example.com URI: http://www.sandstorm.net Fred Baker Cisco Systems Santa Barbara, California 93117 USA Phone: +1-408-526-4257 Email: email@example.com Wasserman & Baker Expires May 7, 2009 [Page 13]
Internet-Draft NAT66 November 2008 Full Copyright Statement Copyright (C) The IETF Trust (2008). This document is subject to the rights, licenses and restrictions contained in BCP 78, and except as set forth therein, the authors retain all their rights. This document and the information contained herein are provided on an "AS IS" basis and THE CONTRIBUTOR, THE ORGANIZATION HE/SHE REPRESENTS OR IS SPONSORED BY (IF ANY), THE INTERNET SOCIETY, THE IETF TRUST AND THE INTERNET ENGINEERING TASK FORCE DISCLAIM ALL WARRANTIES, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO ANY WARRANTY THAT THE USE OF THE INFORMATION HEREIN WILL NOT INFRINGE ANY RIGHTS OR ANY IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE. Intellectual Property The IETF takes no position regarding the validity or scope of any Intellectual Property Rights or other rights that might be claimed to pertain to the implementation or use of the technology described in this document or the extent to which any license under such rights might or might not be available; nor does it represent that it has made any independent effort to identify any such rights. Information on the procedures with respect to rights in RFC documents can be found in BCP 78 and BCP 79. Copies of IPR disclosures made to the IETF Secretariat and any assurances of licenses to be made available, or the result of an attempt made to obtain a general license or permission for the use of such proprietary rights by implementers or users of this specification can be obtained from the IETF on-line IPR repository at http://www.ietf.org/ipr. The IETF invites any interested party to bring to its attention any copyrights, patents or patent applications, or other proprietary rights that may cover technology that may be required to implement this standard. Please address the information to the IETF at firstname.lastname@example.com. Wasserman & Baker Expires May 7, 2009 [Page 14]


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Monday, June 21, 2010
Beer Philosophers #7--Red Hot
"I need to get me some habaneros."
"What, are your taste buds itching to do the cha cha?"
"I want something hot. I want something that's gonna make me bawl. Like I just lost my puppy."
"Awww. That's sad."
"So do you have any habaneros?"
"Nope. Fresh out."
"No pepper sauce? Nothing with a skull or bubonic plague on the label?"
"Damn. What about take out menus? Mexican or Indian or something? Where do you keep the serious stuff?"
"Nothing like that around here, man."
"Come on! I need me some hotness! I'm going to meet someone later tonight!"
"Wait. What? You're meeting someone later?"
"You mean like a date?"
"Well, not exactly a date. But it could be date. I'd like to turn it into a date."
"Putting aside this shocking revelation, what do habaneros have to do with a date?"
"Well, you know...."
"Really. I don't."
"You know. Hot food makes you...hot."
"No. Only the gym makes you hot."
"No, no. That's not what I mean. I mean hot. You know. Like Redwood, if you get my drift. Sequoia even. Plant a forest...nudge nudge, wink wink."
"Wait, you mean--"
"I do!"
"Does not!"
"Does too!"
"You're freaking nuts."
"Dude. There's been studies. I'm serious."
"Look, spicy food makes you sweat. I've certainly heard that. That's why it's so popular in cultures that live in hot parts of the world. When you sweat, it cools you down. Ironic, when you think about it."
"Yeah, it makes you sweat. And it also makes little Elvis find his hound dog."
"I see you're speechless."
"And you've experienced this yourself?"
"Yep. Definitely."
"Okay. Okay. Let me ask you this. Remember last year when we ordered all that serious, kick-ass Mexican food?"
"What happened to you at 2:30 in the morning?"
"Not 'oh.' Tell me what happened. You remember."
"Well, I kind of had a somewhat serious...somewhat catastrophic...environmental disaster in the bathroom."
"Indeed, you did."
"And that's my point exactly. Little Elvis aside, the real situation involves the butt. I tell you, the horror I witnessed that night not only left me with deep emotional scars, but it probably was the most un-sexy thing I could ever imagine. Even if you gave me the rest of my life to think about it."
"I'm beginning to see your point."
"Very good."
"So, do you happen to have a nice yogurt? Or maybe a little leftover paté?"
14 comments:
- Erratic Thoughts said...
Hahaha...that was too good...
Nice one..:):)
- June 21, 2010 2:39 AM
- SzélsőFa said...
- This comment has been removed by the author.
- June 21, 2010 4:38 AM
- SzélsőFa said...
thank you for the laugh :)
i know that hot food is often hot twice because my husband sometimes complains about the uhm...'sensations'..
it's strange though that women don't seem to experience the same.
- June 21, 2010 4:40 AM
- Felicity Grace Terry said...
Well thats made my day, I laughed till I cried. Little Elvis? Please tell me this is fiction rather than fact.
- June 21, 2010 6:13 AM
- Oddyoddyo13 said...
- June 21, 2010 1:17 PM
- Bernita said...
Guys...What gives them the willies...
- June 21, 2010 5:01 PM
Good fun.
Little Elvis?! Excellent.
- June 21, 2010 5:21 PM
- Cloudia said...
Aloha from Waikiki
Comfort Spiral
- June 21, 2010 9:39 PM
- Unknown said...
Lil Elvis...LOLOLOL Yeah, Mexican food that make a bathroom a constant comfort....
Dottie :)
- June 21, 2010 11:49 PM
Erratic Thoughts, welcome! And thanks!
Szelsofa, oh yeah, it's definitely blistering on the way out.
Petty Witter, did you really?? That's too cool if you did! As for the "effects" of hot food, yeah, it's just in this guy's head. Fiction.
Oddyoddyo13, just ignore these weird pieces. You'll meet crazy dudes like this in a few years.
Bernita, ha! Indeed.
Blackwatertown, welcome! To be fair, I heard the term "Little Elvis" somewhere. A movie or something. I can't claim that one.
Cloudia, aloha!
Dottie, you can't stray too far away.
- June 22, 2010 12:21 AM
- Tabitha Bird said...
I love the beer philosophers! Yes, the butt is the problem. :)
- June 22, 2010 5:27 AM
Tabitha, I'm kind of partial to the beer philosophers too. :)
- June 22, 2010 9:21 PM
- Terri said...
- June 27, 2010 11:03 PM
- Aniket Thakkar said...
Trust me, I know Indian food. And the things it can do to you. :)
- June 29, 2010 10:06 AM