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Airbnb is a concept that has only been around for a few years, but it has exploded around the globe. Airbnb allows people to travel all around the world and to stay in accommodations that are a lot less expensive than traditional hotels. They do this by staying with participating Airbnb members who rent out part of their homes to travelers. By participating in Airbnb, you can use your residence to accommodate guests and earn extra money just for renting out space in your home.
No one should turn down wind farming's ultimate passive income for the next 30 or more years … even 60 years when there is a positive cash flow on the sum total of all base payments when computing inflation for the next 60 years based on the previous 60 years, as long as the next era's energy resource is not perfected (at which time they would not renew the option for the second 30 years).
Another great way to get started is to identify an area of interest you have. For instance, Robert Duff has been successful in building passive income by selling books on Amazon. Then, go out and start talking to people. Ask them, "What are you struggling with right now? What are your biggest pains? What's something you wish existed that doesn't?" That'll give you some ideas about where to get started.
The first application of residual income, the remaining money after debts are paid each month, is relevant when analyzing a person's financial status or ability to qualify for financing. The second application, the more widely recognized meaning of residual income, is money that is received on an on-going basis for work that is completed once. This form of income allows the recipient to generate revenue that is not based on time limits. Residual income is the foundation for wealth because it offers flexibility in earning and maximizing income. It also allows income to be generated long after the work has been done.
Basically, an affiliate connects a customer with a desired or needed product. The affiliate is responsible for marketing to drive sales to the retailer. It is best to purchase a domain name and build a user-friendly website to draw customers and convert them to purchasing the chosen product. Build interest through pay-per-click advertising, content articles about the product, and through posting on forums with a relevant website link.
Now lets apply the same rules to network marketing, you start with a very low cost and yes you may spend on education "which is something you should actually do if you are in the corporate world to increase your chances of having a decent job", and if you really give it the importance and priority as your day job and be consistent you will achieve the targeted or desired results.
Once you start to see some success, don't be led astray by the money. While Flynn does use affiliate marketing to make money, he only ever recommends products that he has personally used and likes. He is inundated by offers to earn $50 per sale through commission on products he has never even tried. "I'm like, 'I don't even know you, I don't know what this product can do, and I don't know if this product will help my audience.' I only use products I've used before, because that trust you have with your audience is the most important thing in the world." He says if you do recommend a product for the incredible commission but your audience has a bad experience with it, your credibility will be shot.
I just want to add that there are additional benefits to structuring your business this way. By creating packages around specific products, you begin to be known as an expert for that product. Instead of having to learn ALL of the options out there, you can focus on just the best ones. This can help grow your client base and help you become the "go-to person" for specific platforms or services. When clients and colleagues start sending referrals your way as a result, you've developed yet another source of income!
What I find most interesting is the fact that I had never considered options like LendingTree or realityshares for other income sources. Investing in property has been too much of bad luck for people that I know personally, so I am interesting in getting involved in a situation where I would have to be dealing with maintenance issues or tenants. There are services for you to do that, but I had not come across any that didn't eat most if not all of the earnings. Then again, I live in the NY area. Investing in the midwest would not be reasonably possible for me, directly, but reading about realityshares is something I am going to look into further. That might be a real possibility.
Dividend stocks tend to be more mature companies that are past their high growth stage. Utilities, telecoms, and financial sectors tend to make up the majority of dividend paying companies. Tech, Internet, and biotech, on the other hand, tend not to pay any dividends because they are reinvesting most of their retained earnings back into their company for growth.
As you may have noticed, the residual income valuation formula is very similar to a multistage dividend discount model, substituting future dividend payments for future residual earnings. Using the same basic principles as a dividend discount model to calculate future residual earnings, we can derive an intrinsic value for a firm's stock. In contrast to the DCF approach which uses the weighted average cost of capital for the discount rate, the appropriate rate for the residual income strategy is the cost of equity. (Learn the strengths and weaknesses of passive and active management when trying to uncover the overall market's worth. Check out Strategies For Determining The Market's True Worth.)
ABC International has invested $1 million in the assets assigned to its Idaho subsidiary. As an investment center, the facility is judged based on its return on invested funds. The subsidiary must meet an annual return on investment target of 12%. In its most recent accounting period, Idaho has generated net income of $180,000. The return can be measured in two ways:
Appeal to a target audience through offering regular newsletters about the service or product only you can provide. Offer some free advice on marketing or tips on business-related tools. Offer the first part of a how-to e-course free to generate traffic. Through brief, yet constant contact, your blog becomes invaluable to your audience. Don't be timid in offering a bit of free advice to build a dedicated audience.
I have not. While I am intrigued with the possibility of making online income, it seems to be less passive then how I want to spend my time. Regarding your blog / site, you have done quite well for yourself. However, you have to keep pumping out content or your site would eventually go out of business. That sounds like more of a commitment then I would want. Regarding your book sales, it is probably relatively passive now, but certainly was not when you were writing the book. Now if you love it, great. Just not for me.
Once your audience has grown and you have validation that you're offering them value, there are many ways to create passive income. You could sell digital products like ebooks or courses, take up affiliate marketing in which you promote other company's products and earn a commission when you sell that item to your audience, build a community and charge people to be a part of it, create software and sell that, among other avenues. Ask your audience directly what would serve them best, or look at what they're saying on Twitter, Facebook or other websites, to find out what problems they have and how you could help solve them.
I'm feeling inspired! I've been a PT for 19 years and I feel I have so much experience to offer but have been so intimated by starting a blog. I also subscribed to Michelle's website but wasn't sure it was for real. Is it for real? After reading this I feel like it's time to take the plunge, I need to start a blog, I have so many ideas and even course ideas. I want to get away from the paperwork that plagues our healthcare system but not leave the field so the blog just might be the answer. I've been a landlord for 15 years now, great investment for sure, renters paid for the down payment of our house and should hopefully help pay for our kids college. I'd love to have one more! Thank you for the inspiration, wish me luck with my blogging!
Investing is arguably the easiest way to make passive income. The problem is most investments sound good in theory but don't work out so well in practice. And if you don't have much experience or access to capital, let alone the time to work it all out, it can seem more or less impossible. However, there is one smart way to invest that just might work. Continue reading >
But then figure out your unique selling proposition, what advantage you can offer that the market currently lacks. "My advantage in the passive income marketing space is that I'm not afraid to share my failures or where my income comes from," says Flynn, who details his impressive income every month. "Transparency is huge," he says. Referring to the personal bio on his LEED exam site, he says, "You might think I'm not benefitting from putting my story on there, but it helps me establish a relationship with people there. I'm someone who went through the same experience people went through on the site."
Real estate is the obvious choice if you are going to make money on your money. I personally am not at the point where I can do any of this in a meaningful way BUT my parents are and they now own a couple homes outright and are collecting income from them to power their retirement income. It makes a lot more sense for anyone that has a chunk of cash sitting in the bank and are planning on slowly drawing from it because you technically still have all that money in a property (or multiple properties) and can sell them if you really need the lump sum of cash but you'll earn great interest payments until you do that.
In equity valuation, residual income represents an economic earnings stream and valuation method for estimating the intrinsic value of a company's common stock. The residual income valuation model values a company as the sum of book value and the present value of expected future residual income. Residual income attempts to measure economic profit, which is the profit remaining after the deduction of opportunity costs for all sources of capital.


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Independence Day
All Girl Scouts of Central Indiana offices and shops with be closed Thursday, July 4. We will re-open Friday for regular business hours. Shop online anytimeContinue >
Girl Scouts Love the Outdoors
National Girl Scout State Parks Weekend is coming soon. Make plans to attend this amazing outdoor event. Come early and stay late for all the adventure.Continue >
2019 Service Team Conference
Go from striving to thriving! Join us this summer as we come
together to network, share ideas, and grow our service unit's
strength! Grab your service team volunteers and register for one of
the SIX Service Team Conference training dates throughout the month of
Pick a date, register, and get ready for the best year ever!
Meet the 2019 Gold Award Honorees
For more than 100 years girls have been earning Girl Scouts highest award. Often with very little notoriety or praise from the outside world. These quiet heroes change lives, communities, and even the world. We are so proud to introduce our amazing 2019 Gold Award Honorees!Continue >
Troops Love Camping (Sycamore Valley)
Start: Fri Jul 12 2019, 3:00 PM
End: Sun Jul 14 2019, 2:00 PM
Location: Camp Sycamore Valley
Troops Love Camping (NWK July 12 - 14)
Start: Fri Jul 12 2019, 6:00 PM
End: Sun Jul 14 2019, 12:00 PM
Location: Camp Na Wa Kwa
Start: Sun Jul 14 2019, 2:00 PM
End: Fri Jul 19 2019, 12:30 PM
Location: Camp Gallahue
Start: Sun Jul 14 2019, 2:00 PM
End: Fri Jul 19 2019, 12:30 PM
Location: Camp Gallahue

subset: commoncrawl


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Learn about the unique charm of Poulx with a stay in a holiday home rental. This city has something for everyone. Pont du Gard and Archaeology Museum are just a couple of the must-see attractions in the area. Are you looking for specific amenities for your getaway? Many of our holiday rentals feature full kitchens and laundry facilities.
Are you searching for things to do during your stay? Venture out of your cosy holiday rental and check out everything that makes Poulx a fun spot to go on holiday. Here are some of the major attractions to see, all within 30 miles (48.2 km) of the city centre:
Whether you're an outdoor enthusiast or just want to spend some time taking in the scenery, Poulx is a great spot to appreciate mother nature. These are a few of the area's most enchanting sights, all within 30 miles (48.2 km) of the city centre:
The nearest airport is in Nimes (FNI-Garons), located 10.5 mi (16.9 km) from the city centre. If you're unable to find a flight that fits your schedule, you could also fly into Avignon (AVN-Caumont), which is 23.6 mi (38.1 km) away.
Our 2019 accommodation listings offer a large selection of 1,257 holiday lettings near Poulx. From 594 Houses to 254 Flats, find unique self catering accommodation for you to enjoy a memorable stay with your family and friends. The best place to stay near Poulx for a long holiday or a weekend break is on HomeAway.
Whether you are travelling solo or with family and friends, here are the areas with the largest selection of holiday accommodations for a long holiday or just a weekend break in Poulx:
For other neighbourhoods, please use our search bar to access the selection of holiday rentals available.
HomeAway offers a large selection of holiday accommodations near great places in Poulx. From HomeAway travellers, the most popular points of interest to stay near are:
But there are many other points of interest around Poulx listed on HomeAway where you can find your place to stay. Please use our search bar to access the selection of holiday rentals available near the point of interest of your choice.
Yes, of course. HomeAway offers 594 Houses in Poulx. Our other popular types of Poulx holiday rentals include:
But you can also enjoy a great stay in one of our other holiday rentals including Cottages and more.
Yes, you can select your preferred holiday accommodation with pool among our 822 holiday homes with pool available in Poulx. Please use our search bar to access the selection of holiday rentals available.


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A nurse story essay on dred
A nurse story essay on dred
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DISNEY XD 8:00 pm March 16!
also starring the man – Zach Lavine… !!!
Actor. Musician. Host. Writer. Dinner Guest.
DISNEY XD 8:00 pm March 16!
also starring the man – Zach Lavine… !!!
Recently, on social media and my website, I have made no secret of my modern return into the world of competitive basketball. I play full court four days a week at the Hollywood YMCA and recently entered a Three-on-Three tournament against other fathers at elementary schools, which I happened to have won. (My proudest athletic achievement in my life to date – not counting the time I took Colton – the star 7-year-old pitcher – DEEP in a father-son Little League game last summer…)
I have re-discovered a love for the game I haven't had sine 1993 and I'm actually a better player now than I have ever been.
Throughout my life and into high school, basketball was everything. As a 6'2" inch eighth grader, I was groomed by my coach to become the next great Arizona Wildcats big man. Unfortunately, I haven't grown an inch since eighth grade. I switched to the wing, where I lacked certain skills, but was still able to hold my own mainly because I was actually grabbing the rim with ease and in top physical shape. However, around age 18, I discovered the usual pitfalls – Weed, beer and women – and decided that since I had no chance, or interest in walking on my college team, I would hang up my Air Jordan XII's and I only stepped on the court a handful of times over the ensuing decade.
A few years ago, however, I was listening to UCLA great and fellow Grateful Dead-Head Bill Walton broadcast an Arizona- Oregon basketball game, when something he said struck me deep inside. After he spent a few minutes comparing some obscure 1970's Bob Dylan song to the Oregon Ducks' fast-break technique, he discussed his history of injuries he attained while playing. At the end of this sidebar, Bill Walton claimed to have broken his nose 13 times.
"That's what happens when you play defense with your face," he exclaimed.
He also mentioned his surgically fused ankles, incinerated spine, broken wrists, 36 surgeries and broken leg – all suffered on the basketball court. Walton's lifelong injuries, along with his 1978–1979 year-long protest of the Portland Trail Blazers unethical treatment of his injuries, gave him the record of missing the most games during an NBA playing career, when taking into account the number of years he was officially listed as a player on a team roster. He spoke of how debilitating it became to walk and I researched even deeper to see that Walton once even contemplated suicide due to severe depression from debilitating back pain.
However, Walton then made a comment that made his life on the disabled list seem even more surreal… He observed a certain move power forward Solomon Hill had made and remarked, "That is a move to study – for those of you who are still lucky enough to play basketball…"
Lucky? How could 13 broken noses and suicidal thoughts be considered lucky? I felt that I was lucky to have quit basketball with my original nose still in place. What was Walton talking about?
Attempting to find out, the next day I dusted off some 10-year-old shoes and made my first trip to a court in what was nearly five or six years. I checked out a basketball at the YMCA that looked as if it had spent a good majority of its life underwater, and went to shoot around. It took me awhile, but eventually I was making short jump shots and working on my cardiovascular fitness while running up and down the gymnasium floor. Some of my old spin moves came back to me, and I put up a couple of nice finger rolls and hit some three pointers. It actually felt amazing.
About an hour later, a few guys asked me if I wanted to play "21" with them, but I declined, afraid of shooting 9 air balls and getting embarrassed. Instead, I continued to work on some post moves and drives and watched them from the corner of my eye. They were laughing, having fun and playing just above the level where I was – which made me think I might have hung in there if I had accepted their challenge. Instead, I returned my ball and went home and told myself I'd be back the next day.
I did come back the next day. And the next. I ran that court nearly every other day for months until I was actually joining the games of 21 and winning a good majority of the time. For the first time in over a decade, I was having a lot of fun playing basketball. I soon found myself in the full court games and now, three years later, found myself coming home and discussing the games with my wife as if I was playing in the NBA Finals. It became an obsession to the point where if I missed a lay-up during a game, I got depressed for the rest of the day. Still, it drove me to come back again, improve and remedy the situation.
My wife thought I was nuts. Every time I would bring up my day on the court, she would roll her eyes and remind me that I'm more Kevin Arnold than I am Kevin Durant. She also warned me to be careful, to which I reminded her that I was playing against a bunch of guys in their 30's and that I was in better shape than most of them.
And then, about six months ago, I got smashed in the nose by a teenager who lowered his shoulder into me on a penetration. My nose now cracks in both directions when I try to move it, but I luckily avoided a full break. Then, a couple weeks later I was slightly concussed after being run under by a guy who was pissed that I was outplaying him. I ended up sitting out two days nursing my brain – which luckily was not permanently damaged. In December, I took an elbow to the bridge of my nose, which caused it to bleed profusely all over the court and earned me 75 "likes" on Instagram.
In February, I jammed my left thumb so hard during a rebound that I am still having trouble operating the zippers on my jeans. Then I jammed my right pointer and ring finger in consecutive games. I'm consistently fighting shin splints and a bone spur. Finally, last week, I discovered that I have bursitis in my right shoulder and that I might not be able to play for three weeks or so. This will be my first trip to the disabled list in my athletic career. And I'm a month away from 40. According to my dad, the injuries will now just start piling up. In short, I am about to enter my Bill Walton years. Now, my family is giving me all kinds of advice.
"Maybe think about not playing anymore," my mother offered. "You know, you're no spring chicken."
I hung up on her.
"A spin class is much better on your body," my dad suggested. I simply sent him pictures of my three-on-three trophy and told him I'd be back on the court in a month.
"Don't do anything stupid, you don't want to really hurt yourself," my wife told me.
I rolled my eyes and studied Russell Westbrook highlights like it was important game film.
During the past week, I have found myself watching Bill Walton again. I guess recently there have been petitions to remove him from the Pac-12 broadcast booth, which upsets me entirely. Sure, he can go on tangents about the time Bob Weir and him spoke Arabic to camels in the Egyptian desert, but his unique and loveable qualities are what make him a treasure in the booth. He's not a cookie-cutter color guy. He's quotable and full of basketball wisdom. In fact, he may be my favorite college basketball announcer working today. Not only does he know the game, he makes it fun. I know he seems like he might be high or severely "out-there" once in awhile, but his love for the game is like nobody's I've ever heard before. Not only that, his passion for the game is what got me playing basketball again.
Without Bill Walton, I'd still be jogging three miles on a treadmill. Not competing and not getting any sense of accomplishment.
For that, I thank you Mr. Walton. For inspiring me to lace up my sneakers that early morning three and a half years ago and return to the sport of my youth.
The evening after I won the three-on-three "Dads" championship, my wife said I had a "glow" about me. I knew what she was talking about, because I felt it. It was a sense of invincibility and achievement. I felt young again. Above the rim. It brought to mind a famous Bill Walton quote I had read years ago when he said, "You don't win championships by being normal, by being average…"
I may have only defeated a bunch of dads in a Saturday pick-up tournament, but for those of us who are just hanging onto the final glimpses of what we might be able to accomplish as men, it was as if I won an NBA Championship.
Now if you excuse me, I have to go ice my shoulder. I'm planning on returning to the court earlier than expected…
Buy Zach's BOOK at amazon.com!
**UPDATE!** Read Bill Walton's email to ZACH below following the publication of this essay!!
READ SOME WALTON-ISMs HERE : http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/b/bill_walton.html
*Warning – the following story contains sexually graphic and disgusting situations
My wife recently bought a $300 vibrator. It's called a stingray. It pulsates. It's waterproof. And it does everything but make sandwiches. My wife swears by it and they have a special relationship that extends beyond the bedroom. This throbbing beast has been brought up consistently at dinner conversations since she purchased it… I believe she even told her mother about it, as if she was introducing her to her new boyfriend.
Women have been celebrating the vibrator for hundreds of years… It's universally acceptable and widely acknowledged that most sexually healthy females have some sort of throbbing stunt penis hiding beneath a pile of T-shirts in their dresser drawers.
However, if I came home one day with a $300 sex toy, it would be considered taboo. Men who do this sort of stuff have long been labeled as perverts and sexual deviants. And, men don't really discuss masturbation details over wine and pasta at a group dinner.
But why?
Maybe men and sex toys do not go together because most men are seemingly easier to please. After all, all we need is a magazine, a free hand and some "me time."
I have never used a sex toy on myself. I am not saying that I haven't been intrigued by the molds of "Jenna Haze's Pussy and Asshole" that I have seen for sale at an adult store, but shelling out hundreds of dollars for a rubber vagina has never been high on my priority list. Plus." Real Dolls" are like, five grand. Plus, in humble my opinion, nothing could really beat the time-honored tradition of good old fashioned jerking-off.
But then someone sent me a free "Fleshlight."
Holy shit.
I had heard about the Fleshlight forever. It was an early podcast sponsor and was the rage of the Adult Video Awards when I covered them for a TV show back in 2007. But still, I had never tried one, and I wasn't exactly running out to make a purchase without knowing that it would be worth it… Then again, it's not exactly the type of thing you borrow from a buddy…
Opening the box, I was amazed to find that there are like, 25 different types of Fleshlight models ranging from any body orafice to Jenna Haze to an actual weird blue ALIEN vagina that I assume is supposed to make you feel like you are fucking Neytiri, Zoe Saldana's character from Avatar…
You are able to choose from a bevy of porn star clitoral replicas and adjust the suction level by twisting the back of the casing. It came with lube (necessary to simulate female wetness) and a cleaning cloth. It also had extensive directions about how to "wash your sleeve of remaining fluids" once you were done with it. This was a no-nonsense operation.
I settled in one day after work before my wife and kids had come home from baseball practice. I opened up my Fleshlight and examined it. This particular model was not a signature porn star version, it was a "Stamina Training Unit" – meaning it was supposed to help you train to maintain an erection longer should you ever have a real life sexual encounter… This was the "elliptical" of Fleshlights.
My first touch of the thing was unsettling. I felt weird. Deviant. I was fondling with an artificial body part. You know those weird people you see on TV who dig up corpses and have sex with them? For a second I wondered if I had stooped to their level.
Until I inserted myself.
It had been 15 years since I had felt any sexual pleasure with anyone other than my wife. I'm not sure how, but I suddenly became engorged and remained rock hard for the next seven minutes of thrusting, adjusting my technique, rhythm and stroke to this Fleshlight as if I was trying to give it an orgasm. Throughout this blissful and pure rubber sexual adventure, I felt as giddy as a 15-year-old learning how to unhook a bra strap in high school. It was something new and exciting…
As I approached climax, I was wondering if it was a customary rule to finish inside the device – or if the recommended method was to jizz onto any nearby available tube sock. While deciding to pull myself out from the sensual erotic vagina, I grabbed and looked at the manual… It did not offer any "jizz directions."
I found myself climaxing into the sleeve. I immediately doubled over onto my bed as if I was 17 again and in the back of my Dodge Lancer. I was feeling pretty satisfied.
And that's when the guilt settled in.
I had a large device on my penis. I had just cum into it and I was immediately dreading the moment when my son or wife would walk in. I began wondering if I had somehow caught an STD from the Fleshlight. Worst of all, I had to eventually pull out… which was a feeling that was so hauntingly real, that it reminded me of all the dorm rooms I had left at two in the morning in college after drunken sex romps… In my mind, I felt like I had somehow cheated on my wife with a Pi Beta Phi sophomore.
My friend Mark, who works in virtual reality calmed my fears when I called and told him that I was not feeling very good following the encounter.
"Dude, I've gone through, like – six Fleshlights!," he said. "I get one every year… I had the Jesse Jayne model last year, bruh, that shit was nice! You should change them every six months or so."
Woah, six Fleshlights? The Jesse Jayne model? Change them every six months? Obviously I was not living up to my masturbatory potential.
"Wait til you see this virtual reality shit we're coming out with in a few years," Mark explained. "Dude, you'll be able to fuck Jessica Biel on a beach while Justin Timberlake is tied up to a nearby palm tree, crying."
"Are you serious?" I responded.
"Dude, sex is about to go so virtual, we're gonna all turn into a world of jizz monkeys shooting 9 to 10 loads a day."
"Dude, in the future you'll be able to fuck Jessica Biel on a beach while Justin Timberlake is tied up to a nearby palm tree, crying," my friend Mark told me.
I did some research. If Mark's prediction, and the internet is correct, the world will enter the virtual porn sex space in the next few years. People will put on their devices and set up a "scene" where they can have sex with a digital female while they pleasure themselves physically. At first, the sex models will be outrageously priced and unaffordable, but eventually, both men and women will all be pounding away at any number of virtual lovers through the power of visual stimulation.
That's on some Westworld level shit right there.
Feeling less guilty about my Fleshlight encounter, I read the manual about how to clean it out. I learned that Fleshlight makes a special soap that I would now have to buy if I wanted it to stay in pristine condition. I would also have to double up on my lubrication as the sample pack they included was quite small. And then there is the washing of it. Running warm water through a fake vagina isn't the most comforting part about using a Fleshlight, but it's a necessary one if you want to keep it in good condition.
It's like cleaning your bar-be-cue after every use.
When my wife got home, I shared my experience with her and she actually was proud of me. She told me that she thought men should be able to experience the heightened pleasure of something other than just your hand once in a while. Hearing this got me thinking…
"Well, look," I said. "Pretty soon there's gonna be a virtual reality device where I can have sex with Jessica Biel on a beach, can I get that too?"
"Sure, if I can get one where I bang DeAndre Jordan," she responded.
"Oh, uhmm, let me think about it," I responded.
I went upstairs and hid my Fleshlight beneath some t-shirts in my dresser…
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My 25-Year Obsession With Beverly Hills 90210 Recently, I was in a bar amongst a group of young screen-addicts who were drinking Moscow Mules and comparing Instagram followers. When the bartender gave me my beer, I noticed that his nametag read, "Nat." As a joke, I said, "Aww, what happened Nat? Did the Peach Pit close down?"
Nat wasn't amused. Neither were the 20-something bar patrons surrounding me. In fact, nobody around me even recognized the reference to Beverly Hills 90210, one of my all time favorite TV shows that had been off the air since 2000. I quickly tried to explain to everyone that "Nat" was a solid gold reference from the 90's, but they promptly rolled their eyes and went back to discussing a recently posted Instagram photo uploaded by the Supra Shoe Company.
"Supra is killin it," one of them remarked.
I took my beer and walked to the end of the bar to watch basketball.
You must understand. Beverly Hills 90210 was to my generation, the single greatest television phenomenon we had ever experienced. The show debuted the same day I began my sophomore year of high school. Brandon Walsh had sideburns at 15-years-old, Kelly Taylor had already had a nose job and been raped by a college guy. Dylan McKay was balding and had already beaten drug and alcohol addiction. All of this at age 15. Growing up where I did, these guys were already living way beyond their years. At 15, my biggest accomplishment had been when I learned how to waterski during Jewish summer camp.
Donna Martin had a terrible boob job. David Silver's friend shot and killed himself accidentally. Steve Sanders' mom was a recovering coke-fiend actress.
My friend's moms? Well, one of them was considered a local Tucson celebrity because she once taught aerobics to Dyan Cannon at Canyon Ranch.
Nobody I knew drove a Corvette. Nobody knew where to even get drugs OR a nose job… And finally, the most facial hair we could scrounge up at the time was an occasional lone straggler poking its way from the bottom of our chins. Of course, I had no idea that the actors were really 25-years-old. So, intrigued, I studied them. Imitated them. I grew sideburns. I edited my school paper like Brandon Walsh did and treated it as if it was the West Beverly Blaze. I squinted like Luke Perry when I went on dates and I did my best to turn my small table-bussing job at the local 50's diner Little Anthony's into my own little private Peach Pit.
Of course, at my high school, the white trash rednecks got all the hot chicks. The dudes who stayed shirtless most of the time, dipped Copenhagen and listened to Metallica. The dudes who drove souped-up 1982 Fords and went jackrabbit hunting and drank Budweiser and sported long hair. The dudes like Randy Gatemouth, a 17-year-old sophomore with two missing teeth and three earrings who wore a T-shirt that said "Big Johnson's Casino: Liquor Up front; Poker in the Rear."
I was more of a Brandon Walsh type. I listened to Sting, Dire Straits and rap. I spent 45 minutes blow-drying my hair into a pompadour every morning. I took my dates to my diner and shared milkshakes and maybe got away with a French kiss at the end of the night. Meanwhile, Randy Gatemouth was rumored to have sired a child with a girl from Palo Verde High School who had hidden her pregnancy and given it away for adoption at age 16.
To put it bluntly, Randy Gatemouth did NOT watch Beverly Hills 90210.
But I did. And I followed it religiously. I recall how I was shocked when Dylan and Kelly hooked up when Brenda went to Europe. I remember Brandon losing his virginity. I cried when Dylan's dad was murdered. (Sorry, spoiler alert for those of you planning a binge watch this weekend). I even WROTE about the show for the school paper, comparing the lives of these fake people on this ridiculous show to the lives of the average Tucson, Arizona high school kid in the early 90's.
The love affair continued into college, when I rushed a fraternity and was given the pledge name, "Brenda." Every Thursday my entire frat would gather in the common TV room and watch the show like we were executive producers in a ratings testing lab. I played air guitar to the brilliant opening riff. Much to my surprise, I found kindred souls who never missed an episode.
"Dude, Kelly or Valerie?" Was a common question amongst the guys.
"Bro, I'm from Manhattan Beach," a brother and fellow fan exclaimed. "No way these bitches can afford a house like that on the Strand."
"How's Luke Perry's movie career going since he left the show?" I would occasionally toss around. (Note to readers: I did see – and enjoy – 8 Seconds.)
After graduation, turning 21 and discovering that the real world existed outside of college, I sort of lost interest in the show. I stayed through an extra year or two, always amused at Steve's KEG house antics and eventually his wife Janet, but soon it just dried out and became ridiculous. It probably had been for years, but around 1997, I finally decided that I had graduated from my obsession with Beverly Hills 90210. And then I began working as an actor.
The only other guy I knew in college who followed his dream into acting was a friend named Marc. His first job? Playing a character known as "The Man" on an episode of Beverly Hills 90210. I never admitted it, but I was so jealous. I refused to act like it was a big deal, but God Damn, it was as if he had "made it." Here I was, scrambling to get a SAG card, and this kid had swooped in and landed a role on my favorite TV show of all time. I harbored a certain hatred for that for about a year… Until I was asked to audition for the role of BRODY on an episode of Beverly Hills 90210. The character was described simply as, "Steve's Old College Buddy." I remember the lines so well. Here is what the script and audition looked like:
STEVE and JANET sit at a table. They gaze into each other's eyes.
Thanks babe. You're a great guy.
Steve smiles and holds her hand. Suddenly, BRODY, 23, Steve's old KEG brother walks up to the table holding a beer. Even though he's out of college, Brody is still very much living the party life.
Woah! Sanders! The legend, man! I see you're still scoring as many chicks as in college!
Steve looks horrified. Janet stares daggers at her husband.
I knew it, Steve. You haven't changed one bit!
Janet! Wait!
Offended, Janet stands and leaves. She covers her mouth crying. Steve looks at Brody, upset.
Woah! What's up with her?
Steve angrily tosses his napkin on the table.
Thanks a lot, Brody.
Steve walks off, leaving Brody at the table. He sips his beer and returns to the party.
BOOM! That was it. I knew I could nail the part of "Brody" and I worked those two lines as if I was auditioning for Richard III on Broadway. The day of the audition came and I went in, overly prepared. A bunch of other young actors (One who I SWEAR was Jeremy Renner) sat in the waiting room running their lines. When my name was called, I went in and auditioned and walked out with a confident swagger that screamed, " I NAILED it."
I didn't even get a callback. I was crushed. My dream had been shattered. I was so sure I was going to play "Brody" that I cried myself to sleep that night and wondered if I had made a bad decision dedicating my life to the world of acting. My agent, Iris Burton (Legendary rep to child stars who passed away about 7 years ago) called me the next day. Through a cigarette-tinged trachea she told me the bad news. "Zach, it's not going any further with 90210, but they like your look," she said. "They wanna know if you'll do extra work. I said no. We'll get the next one." "Wait!" I screamed. "Tell them YES! I will TOTALLY do extra work for the show!" "Are you fucking serious?" "Yes, Iris – it's my favorite show of all time. I have to be in at least one scene." "I don't work with extras, Zach." She demanded. "I work with stars." "Please Iris? I'll only do this once." Iris Burton hung up on me and I was called in for a day of extra work on Beverly Hills 90210 the next morning. A bunch of young actors, most of who were in high school and/or community college were shuttled from a parking area on a backlot to the actual 90210 set. (I can not recall where this was). When we got there, I managed to find a script and I read through the dailies. I quickly noticed that the role of "Brody" was nowhere to be found. I located an assistant director and asked who was playing the role "I was born to play." "The Brody role got cut after the first table read," the assistant director said. "Oh, thanks," I replied. YES. I now had an excuse on why I didn't get the part.
I returned to "extras holding" and sat with the crowd of kids I was convinced would someday be lining up to be extras in my OWN TV show. Suddenly, a woman came in and said, "I need four men for a scene at the Peach Pit." I threw up my arms like Donna Martin over the toilet on prom night. The woman pointed at me. "Red shirt guy, come with me," she said. I fixed my hair and walked over to her along with three other dudes. Holy shit, I was going to the Pit. The set was a mess. Cables and cameras were everywhere. Lighting guys and grips strolled through their routines as if this job had become a burden. Some even complained about the set up of the scene. To me, however, it was as if I had made it past the most exclusive velvet rope in the world.
This was the time of the show when only Steve, Donna, Kelly, David, Brandon and Valerie remained. When I glanced at the call sheet, Jason Priestly and Tiffani-Amber Thiessen were the only ones scheduled that day, but I doubted they would even be in the same scene as me. Imagine my surprise when I glanced out the window and saw Priestley stub out a cigarette before strolling up to the set for "last looks." I studied him. In high school, I had actually bought a pair of "Pepe Jeans" because he was the face of the brand for about two months. I idolized him. He was in Tombstone. Hell, he was even in Calendar Girl. I was in awe. He was so suave, so cool. He looked so intimidating… Until I realized he was about 5'8".
As Priestley got his makeup worked over, Tiffani-Amber Thiessen entered the room next. She was stunningly beautiful and seemed extremely happy. She very charming and took time to shake everybody's hand. At one point, I tried to "eye-seduce" her, but I think she got a little creeped out by my gaze and turned away. I went back to standing around and waiting.
"You, with the red shirt, you wanna take money from Joe?"
I wasn't sure if that was meant for me. I looked for the female Extras Wrangler. Sure enough, she was talking to me. She said I had one job to do in the scene.
"Take money from Joe."
Whatever that meant. As it turned out, JOE was Joe E. Tata. "Nat" himself. The owner and king of the Peach Pit. I nodded my head 'yes' and went to my position in front of the cash register.
The scene played out like this: Brandon's old "sports bookie" was in town for some reason or another and Brandon was freaked out. Valerie was there to comfort him (I think). My role was to take my change from Nat at the beginning of the scene and promptly exit through the front door. They set it all up. I was nervous. They rolled sound and began the scene. "Action!" yelled the director as the huge 35-millimeter cameras spun their thousand-dollar-a-foot film. Nat handed me a few fake bills.
I took them from his hand and responded, "Thanks!" I walked out.
"CUT!" The director yelled. "Did anyone tell this fucking kid to speak?"
I turned bright red. I wasn't sure what I had done wrong, but I was quickly reprimanded by the Extras Wrangler who told me to not talk. Little did I know it, but I just cost the producers roughly $3000 dollars in 35-millimeter film because I thought I could sneak in my own line on the show. Lesson learned. Don't speak.
"Just smile and take the money from Joe," she said to me.
So I did. And I did it again. And again. And at the end, I heard the director say, "moving on" and I fully expected him to come up to me and offer me a recurring role on the show right there. Instead, the Extras Wrangler told me that my day was done and that I would receive my $50 paycheck in the mail within a few weeks. I signed a contract and left, knowing that I was forever immortalized on screen of the TV show that had shaped most of my teenage years.
All these years later, I have had many encounters with cast members of the show. Janet (Lindsay Price) is actually a close friend of my family. Priestley and I have mutual friends and you're damn right I own his autobiography. David Silver (Brian Austin Green) and I had a West Beverly High "dance-off" at Comic Con 2008 (See YouTube link below). And I've hung with Tiffani Thiessen, Tori Spelling and Jennie Garth through mutual actor pals. I once shared a joint with Luke Perry in the smoking section of a club, but we didn't keep in touch. And last year I failed at trying to get Ian Ziering to be a guest on my History Channel show. (Sharknado made him too big I guess). As for my friend Marc, his acting career took a small detour, and he invented the brilliant "Drop Stop" car crack filler that is revolutionizing the way we stay focused on the road. Couldn't be more proud of him.
I'm guessing that Jimmy Fallon is days – if not weeks – away from doing some sort of fun Beverly Hills 90210 reunion sketch on The Tonight Show and he's gonna be lauded and praised for bringing us all back to 1992 again. Heck, if I had a show like that it would be my "sweeps week" cornerstone. Still, for me, the show meant a lot. It made me want to move to California as much as the Doors and Neil Young and posters of hot blondes posing on Ferraris beneath the caption, "Dangerous Curves Ahead." Whenever I meet a cast member, I revert back to the teenager I was in 1992, dreaming of an acting career and a night partying at a hot club with Shannen Doherty and her 5-day husband Ashley Hamilton. Suddenly my fading youth speeds back to me like Steve Sanders in a street drag race in 1990. These folks are forever in my references and mind and heart.
So, whenever I meet a bartender named "Nat" I am going to reference the Peach Pit as if it were 1993 and I was playing air guitar in my fraternity in front of the big screen TV. No matter what the ultra-hip Instagram crowd at the bar thinks about it. By the way. I eventually saw the scene in the episode where I took the money from Nat at the Peach Pit. If you look closely, you can almost see the tip of my sideburns as I walk out the door…
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Lakers are For Fakers * 2015 By Zach Selwyn
The following is an email chain I exchanged with my Hollywood agent, who I have paid 10 percent of my income to these past ten years. In that past decade, he's brokered a deal or two for me and has also bought me lunch three times. His agency is a big one, but I am a lowly peon in the cable TV hosting game, dwindling way beneath the Seacrests and Trebeks of the world. However, I am undoubtedly the biggest sports fan on the roster. Which is why, as a die hard NBA fan, I began asking him for tickets to the agency "luxury suite" four months ago to watch the Los Angeles Clippers play the Cleveland Cavaliers at the Staples Center on January 16, 2015…
Oct. 12, 2014.
From ME: Yo – Looking for Clippers – Cavs tickets on Jan 16 2015. I think the Cavs are gonna be great this year – and their new coach is a mastermind. Clips look strong too. Both teams will be in top playoff mode around January. If possible, might I be able to get into the agency box seats that night? Asking early to make sure… Thx – Z
From AGENT: Z! Of course buddy. Emailing tickets guy. You need two, right?
From Me: Yes Thank you so much.
Nov. 8, 2014.
From ME: Checking in on Clippers – Cavs tix for January. Has anyone asked about them? Thx – Z.
From AGENT: You're #1 on the list. I got you covered big Z.
From Me: U Rule. Thx.
Dec. 9, 2014.
From ME: Hey brother – any news on those tickets? It's getting close and I want to make sure I get in here before the office shuts down for holiday season.
From AGENT: Thank you for your email. Our offices have closed until January 7, 2015.
Jan 7. 2015.
From ME: My dude. Zach here – Hope your holidays were awesome… I was in Seattle with the fam. Checking in on Clippers – Cavs game for January 16. Wanted to see if you could email the tickets to me? Or maybe messenger them? Very excited – thank you sooo much.
From AGENT: Hey Z. Checking in with tickets guy again today.
Jan 8. 2015.
From ME: Any news?
From AGENT: Hang tight.
Jan. 12, 2015.
From ME: Hey man, sorry to bother you – but game is in 4 days – trying to figure out babysitter and all that stuff… Looking forward to seeing LeBron.
From AGENT: (No reply).
Jan 16, 2015.
From AGENT: Hey Z, so sorry bud but we had an overflow of ticket requests for this game… Apparently both teams are playing really well. Matthew Perry snapped up a pair this morning and Giuliana Rancic is top of the list for the other pair. Sorry bud. We'll get you into a game. I know we have seats for the Lakers – Nuggets on February 10… Chace Crawford just turned them down.
In the world of celebrity, free stuff is king. Matthew Perry and his 500 million dollars does not need free basketball tickets… Plus, he's sober, so all the free booze in the luxury box was going to be ignored anyway. Giuliana Rancic? Or DiPandi or whatever her name is? Are you kidding me? She makes fun of celebrity dresses for a living. She probably heard the word "Cavs" and thought it was a leg workout. And Lakers – Nuggets tickets? The Lakers are led by a guy who is famous for being Iggy Azaleia's boyfriend. Kobe is out for the year. They're not exactly a hot ticket. The point was, I was not considered successful enough to snag the Clippers tickets. I was looking at some washed up pretty boy from Gossip Girl named Chace Crawford's rejects… Perry and Rancic were gonna be on their iphones in the suite the entire time and most of the so-called Hollywood celebrities who were going to the game probably think "Chris Paul" is a type of champagne.
When I first moved to Los Angeles, the Lakers were all that mattered. They had Del Harris, a young Kobe, Van Exel was being name-checked in Jay-Z songs, Eddie Jones and huge NBA stoner Sam Perkins. (Who looked blazed in 99% of his games). My friends and I would drop $25.00 to sit in the nosebleed section of the Forum just to catch a fading glimpse of what the legendary teams of the 80's left behind. They were likeable underdogs who fought hard and always battled. Then came Shaq. And Phil Jackson and Kobe became Kobe. Those were the last years I liked the Lakers. Kobe lost his appeal when he shaved his mini afro and faced his legal troubles. Still, going to games was fun because, hey – going to the games are always fun. Still, these last ten years I stopped rooting for them and began just appreciating all professional basketball in general.
Now, Los Angeles is all about the Clippers. A recent text from a buddy read: Lakers are for Fakers… I'm going to the Clips game. The abundance of Lakers flags that people used to display from outside of their car's windows are long gone. The sea of purple and gold has been replaced by red, white and blue. And let me tell you, I have never seen anyone play pick-up basketball while wearing a Carlos Boozer jersey.
Still, the luxury box is indeed, luxurious. I emailed my agent back a few days later and accepted the Lakers – Nuggets tickets. At least I could see Arizona Wildcat-alum Jordan Hill and possibly watch a few Jeremy Lin up–and-unders. Plus, my brother is a huge hoops fan as well and neither of us are Matthew Perry – sober. Watching two out-of-the-playoff race teams loaf up and down the court over free hot dogs and Stella Artois isn't a bad way to spend a Tuesday night.
I emailed my agent a week before the game to make sure he could send the tickets over.
Feb. 3, 2015
From ME: Hey man – excited for Lakers – Nugs game on Tuesday… Can you messenger the tickets or email them? Thx brother – Z
From AGENT: Yo, Z – Hey man… looking into this. Looks like Chace Crawford might want the tickets after all… but it depends on if we can get him seats on the floor or not.
From ME: You're fired.
When it was all said and done, Chace Crawford ended up not going, so I snagged the tickets. The game was poorly attended and didn't even get exciting until the 4th quarter. Jack Nicholson wasn't there. Neither was Leo. Or any other familiar celebrity face that we have all come to associate with the Lakers. Instead, it was my brother and myself, sitting amongst a bunch of 22-year-old agent assistants in the luxury suite, sipping Stella Artois and filling up the stat sheet with junk food.
I looked long and hard down at the floor as the game wound down. I was having the time of my life. I guess watching LeBron James would have been a lot more entertaining, but this was still a pretty awesome way to see a basketball game. As a sports lover, sometimes it doesn't even matter who is playing. And after Swaggy P made a three-pointer and did the eye goggles gesture with his hands, I suddenly became a Lakers fan again for the first time in ten years.
And as I squinted hard at the row of folks seated on the floor, I believe I recognized a celebrity typing away into his iphone three seats down from the Lakers bench.
It was Chase Crawford.
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Zach breaks down the crowd, the Seattle Mariners and Lenny Kravitz' penis.
Live from August 4, 2015…
On December 28, 2012, during a visit to my in-laws house for Christmas, I took my family to a Chuck E Cheese in Poulsbo, Washington. After receiving the proper safety stamps, smothering my body in hand sanitizer and shelling out $40.00 for three cups of tokens, I noticed that behind the counter, in a non-descript homemade metal serving area that looked like a sink from my high school chemistry class, were four taps reading "CHABLIS, BLUSH, BUDWEISER and BUD LIGHT."
Their display resembled something from the Prohibition that one might have found at a speakeasy in the south side of Chicago in 1931. It looked like a nine-year-old designed it.Didn't matter, I wanted a beer. After all, I was feeling a little on edge, and 300 screaming maniac kids sneezing and running all around Chuck E. Cheese seemed a lot easier to deal with should I have a pitcher of beer on hand.
I inquired about buying a pitcher of the Bud Light, but was quickly told that the keg was kicked. The young lady behind the counter recommended the Budweiser, saying that is was "Really the Red."
I told her I wasn't interested in wine, but, as it turns out, the "Red" was not red wine, but a local "red brew" from nearby Silverdale with an extremely high alcohol content. Knowing that would probably do the trick, I ordered up a pitcher, paid the young lady another $14.00 and went off to challenge any nine-year-old takers in games of mini-basketball Pop-a-Shot.
Following a 45-16 drubbing at the hands of a 12-year-old named Jayden, I sunk into our family booth and proceeded to pound three of these red beers in under an hour. Suddenly, I was feeling like I was a 12-year-old a kid at a friend's birthday party in 1987. I was engulfed in the dazzling lights and sounds of the Chuck E. Cheese. I chased strange kids around the game room in a game of tag… I took my daughter up into the plastic maze/slide and let a bunch of kids tackle me… I sat and posed for dumb pictures with my family and a giant, stuffed mouse on a cheap amusement ride… I was truly, the super dad of the Chuck E. Cheese, and my wife smiled at me as I approached her with a wad of gum stuck in my hair and a red pizza sauce stain on my t-shirt.
"You really are the best dad," she said before kissing me.
As my buzz began to fade, I knew I would have to get another beer before we went home to keep the ride going. Deciding to skip dinner due to the plasticene appearance of the so-called cheese on top of the rubbery pizza, I took down two more Reds and packed up the diaper bag. My son ended up winning 498 tickets – which he quickly traded in for a stuffed mini-Spongebob and a pencil. Two pieces of unadulterated crap that retail somewhere around 75 cents. I didn't care, though. It was a great time and he had a blast playing all of the games and winning tickets. Best of all, I was leaving Chuck E. Cheese with a tremendous buzz and a newfound love for dark beer from the Pacific Northwest.
That was the last thing I remembered from that evening.
The next day I woke up around 10 a.m. to hear my wife cursing me out from the other room. She was saying something about me falling off the bed in the middle of the night and waking up our daughter. Having no recollection of this, I stumbled to my feet and looked helplessly for my eyeglasses. When I couldn't find them, I made a point of acting as if nothing was wrong, even though my head was pounding with the thumps of a million five-year-olds dancing across my temples.
"You're in trouble," she said to me, glaring as I walked into the kitchen.
Her mother laughed. I squinted for any answer in the mid-morning Northwest gloom. All I could find were blurry shapes and rapid movements, mainly my kids, who sat eating cereal and playing with their new Hannukkah and Christmas toys.
"What are you talking about?" I asked
"Do you not remember what you did last night?" She offered.
"Oh, you mean when you told me I was the best dad ever?"
"I can't even look at you right now."
And with that, I ran off to the bathroom where I threw up a mountain of fluid and a distinctly unfamiliar mystery meat. I found my eyeglasses in the wastebasket by the toilet.
According to my in-laws, we had come home after Chuck E Cheese and I split a bottle of red wine with my wife's dad. When his neighbor Mike, a European guy who makes homemade beer and cooks a mean pork pozole, invited us over for some beer tastings and food – we both accepted. From then on, I proceeded to run a little "blank tape."
My wife informed me that I had arrived at the door three hours later with my pants around my ankles. I was slurring and proceeded to pop my contact lenses out of my eyeballs and throw them across the room without knowing where my glasses were. After nearly falling through a plate glass window and severing my carotid artery, I demanded that my wife turn on a porno film on the big screen television – before yelling at my mother-in-law to "go the hell to bed already." I passed out on the couch and was carried to bed by wife and her dad.
When this was all relayed to me by my wife, who just hours earlier had been commending me on my parenting skills, I let the situation slowly sink in. As I attempted to swallow a 16 ounce coconut water and wiped the never ending sweat from my brow, I began to think that it might be a good time to take a real close look at what WebMD had described as "my drinking problem."
I spent the rest of the entire day in bed and/or in the bathroom, vomiting. It was one of the worst feelings I have ever experienced – not unlike those 24-hour bugs that have been going around where you puke and sleep forever, convinced you are dying.
I hated every minute of it, especially when I was incapable of playing with my kids because I was in too much pain. Embarrassed and ashamed, I took a vow of sobriety on the afternoon of December 29, 2012. I also vowed to chronicle my efforts in my journals, which I have been fastidiously keeping since my 16th birthday but had grown a little lazy about recently. I was sort of hoping that the non-drinking would re-inspire me to keep a more comprehensive diary again, but instead of logging activities and hours in the following pages, I mainly focused on the extremely difficult task of avoiding alcohol at all costs.
What follows are lifted directly from my personal journals beginning the day of December 29th and continuing on until I broke my streak. I hope this either inspires you to face your demons head on, or continue drinking responsibly so you do not end up trying to turn on a DVD of Little Orphan Anal in front of your wife's parents over the holidays.
Sobriety Journal. Aka The Non-Rum Diary.
Dec. 29, 2012
Day 1: OOOOOOOhhhh God. I have been puking for 9 hours straight and I don't even have any food in my body… I think I just threw up knee cartilage. Last night was a lost bender of epic proportions, coming to a head at the neighbor's house (Mike? Mark?) Where I drank his homemade 14% alcohol Belgian Tripelbock after nearly killing 6 beers and some wine during and before dinner. I don't remember the end of the night, but the wife said I arrived at the in laws door with my pants around my ankles. My last memory was beer at Chuck E. Cheese – and my kids playing arcade games with those disease ridden tokens. All I found was this picture crumpled up in my wallet of me slamming a beer with my finger up my nose.
Shit, maybe I got roofied. Roofeed? How do you spell that? More than likely, I put my hand in some kid's snot that he wiped on the "Mousecalator" and inhaled it, which is what undoubtedly caused this massive bodily excursion.
I have to uke again…
Dec. 30. 2012.
DAY 2: Wow, a day after hangover. Maybe I'll have a bowl of Honey smacks and watch Breaking Bad on DVD all day… Wife is in the other room talking about going to the mall or something. Not me. I'm still laid up… No more booze, ever. Period. I'm serious. 100%. Even though its New Year's Eve in 2 days and were invited to a party in LA thrown by the guy who owns the Coldwater Wine Company, I will refrain… It's been 15 years of this shit time to grow up and be a man. Fuck it, man… Robert Downey jr. got sober. So did Dick Van Dyke and Richard Dreyfus and Nick Nolte…I think… Maybe even Slash… wait, is Slash sober? If Slash is sober, I can be sober. Although I only seem to over-consume wine and beer … I think Slash was mainlining jet fuel at one point… I don't know… I don't want to have to keep explaining myself- especially once my kids are old enough to wonder why daddy is staying in bed all day. I talked to George Carlin's daughter Kelly once… She told me she spent every morning of her childhood wondering when her parents would wake up and play with her… Apparently they had a blackout curtain in their room to keep out that evil sun. Luckily, I'm in Washington State right now and the sun is nowhere to be found. WE go home tomorrow… thank GOD.
(15 minutes later)
My wife's brother just brought over a six pack and a bottle of wine and I turned him down! I think I'm cured! Who needs Dr. Drew- fuck that guy! I will never crave booze again!
Dec. 31, 2102
DAY 3: I want booze. So badly. Just some wine or a beer or something… DAMN! And it's New Years Eve! What the hell. I'm so exhausted. We're invited to about three different parties but I don't want to go to any of them. I'm probably gonna do the lame West Coast dad thing and watch the ball drop at 9 pm on an East Coast feed— that is very very sad. Two years ago I took ecstasy and covered myself in body paint with a crowd of naked strangers in an apartment in Glendale. Yeah, I was in a shithole in Glendale and I was on ecstasy and I felt like I was being licked by the tongue of God. It was awesome. Now, I'm two nights sober. I feel awful Head cloudy, body still in shock… Maybe it was the pint of Ben and Jerry's Phish Food I consumed last night in an effort to curb my body's sugar cravings… Who the hell knows. It is 8:31 at night and I don't even think I can make it to New York New Years… So I am signing off, asleep at 8:34 on New Year's Eve.
Jan. 1, 2013
Day 4: I feel a lot better! Might even attempt to go to the gym and run today… But I don't know. We're invited to a friend's house for football and wine later and they always have the best French Bourdeaux. How the hell does that happen? Man, when you are not drinking, THE WHOLE WORLD IS AN OPEN BAR!!!
(later that night)
I just told my wife I had a late night meeting, but in reality, I'm off to the grocery store to buy some more ice cream. Seriously. I am lying to my wife so that I can go eat a pint of Ben and Jerry's in the Gelson's parking lot. Alone. Jesus. Some men have affairs, I sneak off to have sex with pints of Cherry Garcia.
January 2, 2013
DAY 5: Back to the gym, finally sweat out the remnants of that night. I smelled like a beer on the treadmill. It was sad. My mom and my grandma fly in later tonight. My mom will immediately wonder why I am not drinking. She is a two bottle-a-night of chardonnay drinker… I normally stay up with her and talk, but this might be the time I don't. Damn! I love drinking with my mom!
January 3, 2013
DAY 6. My mom and I had this conversation last night beginning at about 4:45 in the afternoon.
MOM: "Why aren't you drinking?"
ME: "I had a rough night last week and I'm taking some time off."
MOM: "You loser! Open some red wine and play Scrabble with me."
Somehow, I managed to not drink with her and I went to bed early. The last thing my mom said to me before she went to bed was,
"I really hope this isn't a permanent thing. Think of your mother, won't you?"
I will say, my mom is one of my all time favorite drinking buddies. We sit and play old records and run through Scrabble games until two in the morning – usually forgetting to finish because we both get so loopy that we begin placing words like "Oughta" on the board and accepting them. Meanwhile, my grandma, who is 90-years-old and still sharp and hilarious said to me, "I don't care if you stop drinking forever… you NEED to stop biting your nails!"
I love my grandma.
Jan. 4, 2013
Day 7. One week! Wow, I went one week. I still haven't found much inspiration to write or play guitar or anything, but my son and I played his new Wreck it Ralph Wii game for five hours straight today! Not that playing video games is productive, but it was something, right? Oh man, I sound like all the stoner gamer geeks I used to work with at G4. So that's what sobriety leads to? VIDEO GAMES? Shit, I might as well go get a bottle of Jim Beam right now. BTW, my mom and grandma went to Orange County to visit my sister, so I'm back to exercising and reading this great book on Bonnie and Clyde. Makes me happy I never shot anybody.
Jan. 5. 2013
Day 8. OK, I was at a film screening tonight and they had an open bar. I had sparkling water with lemon, but I was craving alcohol. You know how we Jew are, anything free, we WANT IT!! Especially the red wines they had… and the Pilsner beer… Oh man. Anyway, I ended up drinking my first Coke in about five years. It was like drinking a Snickers bar. Jesus. I switched to Diet Coke, but my buddy Eric told me about all the studies and the chemicals and the fact that Diet Coke causes cancer and depression… My God, once again, I'm better off drinking.
Jan 6. 2013
Day 9. Well, I just bought a six pack of Buckler non-alcoholic beer. It tastes alright, but is definitely lacking the sweet, calming trace of alcohol. I cracked one about two hours ago and drank it within three minutes. I drank the second one three minutes later. I killed the six pack in 28 minutes. Now I feel bloated and somewhat satisfied, as if there was a placebo affect to the whole thing. Whatever the case, my mom comes back tomorrow and I have an audition for a Toyota Commercial.
Jan. 7, 2013
Day 10. Fuck fuck fuck you Q Q Q Q DICK. Fucking dick fuck fuck this sucks fuck you dick dick balls dick.
Jan. 8, 2013.
Day 11. FUCCCKKKKKK YOOOUUUU!UU!U!UU!U!U! I want a drink I want a drink I want a drink drink drink dnrindinrindikkkkkk. I texted a few sober friends and asked them how they deal with all of this and they sent me back the clichés we are all familiar with. Cigarettes and coffee… meetings… ice cream… My one buddy, a former coke-monkey named Bobby wrote Dude, substitute one addiction for the other… why do you think I got divorced? I'm a cooze hound!
Jan. 9, 2013
Day 12. I have officially crossed the threshold! I truly believe I may not ever have a craving again. I'm exercising, nailing my auditions (Toyota callback!) and I've slowed down on my Ben and Jerry's to half a pint a night! This is the beginning of a whole new me! I will write tomorrow. I LOVE this!!
That was my final entry into the Sobriety Journal.
I made it 12 full days before being invited to a party where they were serving Johnnie Walker Blue Label and Sea Smoke red wine. I looked at my wife, who knew that the minute I saw the Sea Smoke (my favorite) I would be done for. She grabbed me and looked me in my eyes.
"Look, Zach," she said. "If you think you can have just a couple of glasses, I think you should. BUT, remember, drink water, stay in control and you don't have to POUND the wine. Enjoy it, sip it, you know?"
I looked into my wife's sweet face. She was sticking by my side no matter what I did and I loved her for it. I knew she was my rock, my confidant… my unofficial "sponsor" if you will and the fact that she trusted me to know my limits meant more to me than anything in the entire world at that moment. I kissed her and promised to be responsible and careful and I watched her walk away into the party to hang with a group of women who were discussing their unnecessary scarves in the 60-degree Los Angeles winter night.
I rolled up to the bar and took a long hard moment to gather myself. The waiter poured me a decent glass of Sea Smoke and told me to enjoy it. I swirled the red lava around in the glassware like a vinyl record and let it settle a few times before placing my nose up to its fortuitous aroma. I inhaled deeply, taking in the fine grape, the chutes of ember and the floral notes. This was GOOOD wine. The best wine to break a fortnight of sobriety with. I slowly pressed the glass to my lips and swallowed the heavenly liquid until my body turned warm with familiarity and melted into a séance-like calmness. I felt alive. I knew I was going to be able to conquer this demon – and practice the finest art of them all… The art of moderation.
The next morning I woke up on the bathroom floor, fully clothed and in a fetal position.
I had no idea where my eyeglasses were…
Watch Zach's new TV Show "Guinness World Records Gone Wild! Feb. 7th at 8:00 pm on TruTV!


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If you have your own eCommerce store, social media is the perfect platform to showcase your products. Demonstrate your products in use and tell your social following why they need to buy your merchandise. Most social media channels allow you to add 'buy' buttons your pages, allowing your followers to easily click through to your site and make a purchase.
A spin-off for web designers is to offer a landing page creation service. Well-optimized landing pages can be the difference between a successful and a failing business. And, as creating the perfect landing page isn't easy, this is a service many businesses are prepared to pay for. I know people who are earning 6 figures per year and all they do is create landing pages for businesses. There's serious money to be made.
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Influencer marketing: Important nodes are identified within related communities, known as influencers. This is becoming an important concept in digital targeting. It is possible to reach influencers via paid advertising, such as Facebook Advertising or Google Adwords campaigns, or through sophisticated sCRM (social customer relationship management) software, such as SAP C4C, Microsoft Dynamics, Sage CRM and Salesforce CRM. Many universities now focus, at Masters level, on engagement strategies for influencers.
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Those lucky enough to speak more than one language have the option of becoming translators. Many companies hire work-from-home representatives to answer customer or client calls in another language. Besides verbal translation, fluent readers are needed to translate documentation, another job that can done at home. Being able to fluently speak two or more languages is the main skill set. As a bilinguist, you have double the chances of finding your dream work-from-home job; search for your gig using keywords in both languages.
Think about affiliate link placement in your posts. I can often tell a blogger's intention is to monetize a post with an affiliate link. However, there will be either a gigantic introduction (lots of words!) or other links (that take the reader away from the post) before the affiliate link shows up once. Eliminate distractions. Put your affiliate link as close to the beginning of a post as works naturally. And of course disclose first.
If you're a blogger, start by going through your analytics and finding your most popular posts. In Google Analytics (GA) you can find these pages by going to your GA Dashboard > Behavior > Site Content > All Pages. Examine the ones at the top of the list that bring in the most traffic. Are there any affiliate products or services you can naturally include in them?
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Online reviews have become one of the most important components in purchasing decisions by consumers in North America. According to a survey conducted by Dimensional Research which included over 1000 participants, 90% of respondents said that positive online reviews influenced their buying decisions and 94% will use a business with at least four stars. Interestingly, negative reviews typically came from online review sites whereas Facebook was the main source of positive reviews. Forrester Research predicts that by 2020, 42% of in-store sales will be from customers who are influenced by web product research.
Transcription work from home jobs involve listening to audio files and typing out what you hear. While some types of transcription (such as medical) require training, it is possible to break into general transcription with little to no past experience. Before you start digging through the companies below, you may want to read this post about what general transcription involves and this post about the equipment transcribers use.
While many people are in a rush to complete goals they set for themselves at the beginning of the year, I'm looking forward to new and innovative ways to add more money to my bottom line come next year. Lucky for us, there is never a shortage of new money-making apps and ideas coming online. And, working from home is becoming even more accepted and commonplace than it has been in years past.
A work from home job can be any position that does not require you to be in an office. There a wide range of work from home jobs. Some companies offer opportunities for employees in traditional roles to work remotely for all or some of their workweek. These jobs often use technology for meetings, assignments, and collaboration. This practice is called telecommuting. Other work from home opportunities may include jobs such as customer service representatives for which companies will hire remote workers, or part-time virtual assistants to manage work which does not require a physical presence in the office.
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If you have experience and knowledge in a specific area, then consider sharing it with others. For example, if you're an accountant or lawyer, then you can provide advice to small businesses for a pretty penny. You could also consult businesses on how to use a new software program or how to become more environmentally friendly. (If you're interested, my company offers a consulting guide to get started.)
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About SHPXLBH
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SHPXLBH replied to kodiak's topic in Game ProjectsYour [noparse][/noparse] tags are insecure. With some click bait, someone can easily do whatever they wanted. Like hijack a session.
GRPG wish list
SHPXLBH replied to adamhull's topic in Generic RPGA point to note: PDO isn't inherently secure. You still need to take the appropriate actions by binding your parameters.
Database update from drop down menus
SHPXLBH replied to Damond's topic in Modification SupportCan I point out that someone can do whatever they like with this. Like; give themselves unlimited money, unlimited crystals, make themselves admin, put everyone in hospital, and so much more damage (basically do whatever they want with the users table). Now the above has been mentioned, let's refactor! We know each input must apply to one rule; values must be numerical (as item id's are numerical). With this, we can do a simple sanitise. function do_item_change() { global $db,$userid; //Maybe check they have this item in their inventory... or is this done when they use on each page? $_POST['healitem'] = (int) sprintf("%u", $_POST['healitem']); $_POST['fooditem'] = (int) sprintf("%u", $_POST['fooditem']); $_POST['jailitem'] = (int) sprintf("%u", $_POST['jailitem']); $db->query("UPDATE users SET heal_item=". $_POST['heal item'] .", feed_item=". $_POST['food item'] .", jail_item=". $_POST['jail item'] ." WHERE userid=". $userid); print "Items changed"; //Maybe put this in a nice div? } An example of input and various techniques to sanitise input: https://eval.in/238625
Multiple IPN redirects.....
SHPXLBH replied to microsocket's topic in GeneralPut the IPN listener script in the notify_url. Also, having all accounts to one paypal account (even if you use multiple email addresses to access that one wallet), if one user complains or whatever and your account gets suspended, you've stopped revenue 5 times, rather than the one. Spread the risk over 5 different wallets, or be savvy with a TOS, and log transactions to cover yourself should a user try and get a refund and suspend your account.
Chaos Era - WIP
SHPXLBH replied to Coly010's topic in Game ProjectsNever understood why you'd label a menu, unless you're at a restaurant. The game looks promising though, gl!
[rc] Help with daves chat!
SHPXLBH replied to Hybridd's topic in Game SupportI can't wait for the movie. It's words being chucked at each other with no evidence. Take it to PM and channel everything through me; I'd like a good laugh.
Secure your game.(: TOPMOBBSS
Secure your game.Hello MakeWebGames. Over the course of my short lifetime, I've defaced, hacked, pissed off, annoyed many game owners and users. Here is my retirement. The exploits The exploits exist in a lot of popular game engines (some not to the extent of others; but most are present). I'm not posting this for you to use. I'm posting this for you to secure your game. Although I've been a real piece of ****, I don't recommend you do the same. If I get a slight sniff of you using the following exploits on other games for your own benefit, you'll see my full force. I've eyes and ears everywhere. Basic exploits Basic exploits are very basic, but they exists on pretty much every game engine (listed on MakeWebGames). It allows you to append multiple CSS properties to a BBCode tag, effectively defacing pages. I've used this on multiple games, and it's been pretty fun. An example of defacement is using the [noparse][/noparse] tag. [color=red;background:black;position:fixed;top:0;left;0;width:100%;height:100%;]You've just been defaced.[/color] Why do a greedy match when we just want to accept a hex colour code, right? (https://regex101.com/r/jU0uM7/1) Let's change the current color tag bbcode match to just match a hexadecimal colour value. (https://regex101.com/r/jU0uM7/4) It's a simple whitelisted character set. Because hexadecimal colour values are a maximum of 6 characters, and HEX only has values 0-F, we can do a character set. \[color=(#[0-9A-F]{3,6})\](.*?)\[\/color\] This would make our PHP preg_replace become; preg_replace("/\[color=(#[0-9A-F]{3,6})\](.*?)\[\/color\]/", "$2", $input); Game-killing exploits Many games use the greedy regular expression match (.+?) within their bbcode tag. An excerpt from the McCodes bbcode engine; $this->engine->cust_tag("/\[img=(.+?)\]/ie", "check_image('\\1')"); Lovely. The img tag is extremely exploitable. For most tags, it's a simple brain quiz on deciding a whitelist, or possibly blacklist, of characters to match. I'll show you only a few. We can bring up a pop-up box with the image tag exploit, by using onerror, onload, on*. It's simple. [img=1.jpg" onerror="alert('eXpLoIt')] //No need to end the ". The BBCode engine is nice to close this for us. Now, let's secure this. We can change your regular expression match to (for the img tag) \[img\]([a-zA-Z0-9-_]+\.(jpg|gif|png|jpeg))\[\/img\] //https://regex101.com/r/sC5tW5/1 This will give us a callback opportunity to validate the image itself (although, theoretically we don't need to do this, unless we display any EXIF data on the image, or the image comes with a JavaScript payload embedded within it.) $output = preg_replace_callback("/\[img\]([a-zA-Z0-9-_]+\.(jpg|gif|png|jpeg))\[\/img\]/", function($matches) { //Do checks on the image here //Look at exif data //Grab image size and validate that //Validate the extension //etc... if( [everything_is_ok] ) { return ""; //Valid image } else { return ""; //Invalid image. Use a placeholder or don't do anything. Up to you. } }, $input); Nice, img tag is now secured. Here's a list of tag fixes I have done. I've just written these and I don't have any bbcode engines with me at the moment, but at least you get the idea ;) Image tag bbcode fix Color tag bbcode fix Font family tag bboce fix Size tag bbcode fix Will update. Just PM me your bbcode engines, and I'll see if they're exploitable. Now that the BBCode exploits are out of the way, let's discuss other exploits. "Blackmail" You may be thinking, zomfg you can't do that, giving people their personal information is bad! No. Their personal information is free to read on the internet. They (the user) made it that way. I, earlier today, found someones whole life on the internet. Their name, social profiles, everything. It was simple, I just reversed image searched their in-game profile picture, and boom. Everything... every piece of information was given to me just from that one image. Try not let that be you. Session hijacking Although this is part of the BBCode exploit, you should really; Bind the session_id(); to the users ip. From all the games I experimented on, only one did this. Kudos [MENTION=70303]Hybridd[/MENTION] (surprisingly). Potentially bind the user agent to the session_id(); Do the two above and patch your bbcode as detailed above I managed to hijack a bunch of accounts on a game and they were none-the-wiser until I told them, and started chatting the chat as them. It was funny. :) SQL Injections This is a good read CSRF I believe the newest McCodes release has a built-in system to help prevent CSRF. However a good test is to set your display picture to http://gameurl.com/logout.php and see if it logs you out. This is a good read: https://www.owasp.org/index.php/Cross-Site_Request_Forgery_(CSRF) Notes Total games owned: ~20 Here's some images showing the exploit on some games: http://imgur.com/a/O5cdX I mostly checked if I could do the exploit, and if I could, I removed it and told staff. Some of which I didn't, but the staff pissed me off by spamming previous projects of mine. Some good reads Exploiting StreetMafia: http://old.makewebgames.io/showthread.php/45259-Security Exploiting ReakCity: http://old.makewebgames.io/showthread.php/45245-Dear-Hybridd?p=307603&viewfull=1#post307603 Exploting ChaoticWars: http://old.makewebgames.io/showthread.php/45290-Awesome-RPG-Game-You-All-Should-Try-Out!?p=307883&viewfull=1#post307883 TOPMOBBSS PM me your game link if you wish for a penetration test ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Battle Ground HelpYes. A much easier way. I'll give you a hint; <?php $a = array(); for($x = 0; $x <= 10; $x++) { $a[$x] = array(); for($y = 0; $y <= 10; $y++) { $a[$x][$y] = ''; } } $my_x = 5; $my_y = 2; $a[$my_x][$my_y] = 'HERE I AM'; print_r($a); Arrays are your friend. No need to have 100 of unique variables.
Selling Mafia Paradise
SHPXLBH replied to ThongzNbongz's topic in Other Game enginesUser profiles don't validate or sanitise input Still using eregi, which is deprecated PHP errors show on screen Able to deface profiles Able to hijack traffic resulting in session hijacking, via XSS All that, and I am needing to point out that the use of iframe makes UX a 0/10; plus free-hosting? No thanks.
Awesome RPG Game You All Should Try Out!
SHPXLBH replied to MrSwift007's topic in Chit ChatIt's a shame the whole game is full of security holes. Don't worry your socks; I'm not going all out. Just a simple test and I've notified staff. What I could have done; Diverted all traffic to a server I own somewhere in the world, and hijack their session. I'll have free reign over their account. Even if they change their password, I'll still be in Send items to other accounts Send money to other accounts Blah blah blah Get into a staff account and execute any server side code I wanted via crime exploit Give me any item in the game Make me max level Give me max stats Blah blah blah [*]Deface my profile [*]Deface forum topics (2 ways I can do this)
Webmail bulit in MCCodes
SHPXLBH replied to Samurai Legend's topic in Requests & In ProductionPHPMailer and (IIRC) SwiftMailer classes have the functionality to read and write from Mailboxes; shouldn't be too hard to create a simple UI that adopts one of these classes
The Mafia King Beta v1.0 launches! Win cash prizes!
SHPXLBH replied to DopeboyGFX's topic in Fun & Games> If you decide to purchase any in game credits or points, please do so at own risk. If I were to give you money, I'd expect no risk involved. Are you trying to deter money coming your way?! [MENTION=69001]Zettieee[/MENTION] - what are the main exploits?
The Mafia King Beta v1.0 launches! Win cash prizes!
SHPXLBH replied to DopeboyGFX's topic in Fun & GamesWe will see
The end. So I toyed with him, with them. It was fun. Some saw the humour, some didn't. I'm not God... but i'd like to be. For 3 days the owner (Mr-Killer) was ignoring me, so I had to run a few demonstrations which involved; hi-jacking regular players accounts, hi-jacking staff accounts, wiping the DOM, bringing alert boxes up everywhere. It was fun. My only request was that he was to be polite, and I'd secure the BBCode parser for him. He wasn't. So I toyed with him some more. I handed him the candy to sort it; let's see how he does second time round ;) In the screenshots below, I am TOP MOBBS - I've built quite the name for myself over there by the way :) Previously, he said in the in-game chat that he'd open the IRC channel up to the users. Two tried to join, but he banned them straight away without a reason. I asked him to apologise, he wouldn't, so I wouldn't spoon feed him with the candy i just gave him (Wow, that sounds wrong!) [ATTACH]1742[/ATTACH] [ATTACH=CONFIG]1743[/ATTACH] The BBCode Engine is using a lazy match for each tag. That means you can abuse each and every tag. I generally went after [noparse][/img][/noparse]. But there are about 30 different tags to exploit. P.S - Do not enable the RC BBCode engine unless you've secured it.